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You idiots will argue over anything, so this again.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 175
Thread images: 8

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You idiots will argue over anything, so this again.
>>
>>726755963
The grizzlie bears
>>
Im sure the zookeeper can shoot 2 gorillas, especially after getting some practise.
>>
the two gorillas because you can climb on ones back and he'll take you up a giant ass tree and the other animals cant into trees.

the human with the rifle cant get shoot fast enough so yor nother gorrila friend kills him.

the rest of the animals.just look.
>>
>>726755963
those 9 crocodiles are tempting, but I don't know
>>
>>726755963
7 bulls could destroy everything except the falcons, and then i'd just hide under one so they'd have to come to ground level to get at me.
>>
>>726755963
You die no matter what.
>>
>>726755963
50 hawks, easily. Send 37 after the non-rats and have them go for the eyes. 13 hawks can easily destroy any number of rats.
>>
Double gorillas. Fuckers can tear your arm off in a single pull. Their only challenge would be the grizzlies
>>
>>726756734
and the zookeeper, everyone here seem to be underestimating the zookeeper.
>>
>>726755963
I'm going with the 7 bulls.
>>
>>726755963
Bull definitely
>>
>>726756706
check your math on that one anon
>>
I choose gazelle the king of mythical beasts
>>
>>726755963
I'll take the rats. Had some they were super smart and loyal like a dog. I trained mine and everything. They're dope.
>>
Gotta go with 15 wolves. They would fuck shit up
>>
>>726756858
good meme
>>
>>726755963
I'd go the mice because there's no time frame for this scenario.

After 50 years of breeding, there'd be millions of mice and they could suffocate and wipe out everything else.

/thread
>>
>>726757084
>mice

meant rats, derp
>>
>>726755963
1) Select 15 wolves as protectors. Hunt with them and play with them so they see you as a wolf as well. Pack attacks could take down any combination listed there except for the hawks, but then you take the gun from the dead human that your wolfie friends murdered and kill those winged shits.

2) Profit
>>
>>726757130
So you just tell the bears and wolfs etc to wait untill the rats have multiplied enough to take them?
>>
>>726757377
just drive off. doesnt say we cant escape
come back in 50 years with an army of mice
???
profit
>>
>>726757495
why not build a space rocket and move to mars, then build a deathstar and annihilate earth?
get the fuck out of here.
>>
>>726757495
>mice

he did it again
>>
Gotta go with the 9 crocs... grab a snorkle and hide out in a river
none of the other animals would even get close to you
>>
>>726757994
implying crocs can be tamed to protect you
implying the rifleman couldnt shoot you
>>
>>726757994
and eat raw fish for the rest of your short life, you would drown trying to sleep if you survive the bullets.
>>
>>726757084
after 1 year you already would have some millions anon
>>
>>726755963
The rats because if you don't get rid of them quick, which you won't, they will fuck your shit in a few generations
>>
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>>726756505
>>
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>>726755963
I would take the 50 Hawks.
Once I summon my hawk squad, they would pick me up and evade all danger.
I don't need to fight anyone with my airborne militia.
>>
>>726758135
>tamed
it is implying that they will be actively trying to protect you from the start, no training required, the same way all the other 8 will try to kill you for reasons
>>
>>726758135
The wording is quite clear your choice will try to protect you while the others try to kill you.
In this hypothetical the true nature of your protector is irrelevant as they are duty bound to fight for you.
>>
>>726755963

15 wolves. Take down hunter, now I have the gun. Use gun to kill as many Jews as possible before the other animals take me down.
>>
>possess 50 hawks
>for some reason, they're all friendly
>one of them starts screaming
>the other 49 start screaming in unison
>lay down and wait for the bears to finish what god started
did i win
>>
>>726756542
crocodiles are slow as fuck and I can catch one from behind while my 1000 rats get care of the other 8 :^)
>>
>>726759195
I could use your advice; I liked naruto, loved bleach and attack on Titan.. Recommend me some animes I would enjoy.
>>
>>726755963
I'll go with the dude with a shotgun. Cause that would make a killer "partners" type movie
>socially awkward /b/tard offends nature spirits by posting animal gore pictures online
>rough and tumble innawoods bro from /k/ sees his post pleading for aid from evil animals
>youhavemysword.jpg
>adventure intensifies
>by the end of the movie /b/tard has gone full /k/ommando
>innawoods-bro dies heroically
>/b/tard avenges him in 3v1 death match with the Lions, or bears.
>>
>>726755963
the human because the other 8 would try to fucking kill & eat you anyways

no fucking different from real life, how is this a hard question?
>>
>>726759440
Black Lagoon
>>
>>726759626
A+
>>
>>726759479
Except that sounds like a lame /b/ movie with 10 boob scenes and ends with the main characters getting torn apart in gruesome ways, with a $50 special effects budget.
>>
>>726759623
Because this is a hypothetical where your choice has to protect you based on the rules of the game we are all agreeing to play here.
>>
>>726757084
>evading every other animal for 50 years
>>
>>726759626
Thanks, any others?
>>
>>726755963
wolves
>>
>>726759759
man doesnt play games

gimme 3 bears nigger, im hungry
>>
>>726759808
See
>>726758800
No single group could take on the rest in combat, therefore evasion via flight is the best option.
>>
>>726759707
Yeah man, that's the point
>>
>>726755963
1000 rats is the only correct answer, they can jump and swarm the falcons everytime they go for a trust. The sheer number of rats is enough to take care of everything in that pic. You don't know how vicious rats can get do you? Rats also can grow to the lenghts of a house cat. So it's like having 1000 cats in reality but with sharper theet. You don't stand a chance.

Rest of the animal kingdom are you even trying?
>>
>>726759830
Ergo Proxy
>>
>>726759707
>bros flee by truck
>dark clouds overhead
>bro that isn't a cloud
>50 hawks start dive bombing the truck
>mother fuck I just had this detailed
>cue chase scene
>halfway through they see the bulls charging down the street towards them
>>
Prob the Falcons
>>
Hunter. At least we can communicate and try and coordinate ourselves. We can sharpen sticks together and when it's cold and lonely we'll get our Brokeback Mountain on and fuck each other senseless.
>>
>>726760070
Totally agree, that's what I was thinking.
>300 rats can take the bears (100 rats for each bear)
>100 rats vs the 50 falcons
>150 rats vs 15 wolves
>100 rats vs man, they kill the man, take his weapon
>5 rats per bull, bulls will never catch the rats and they will be distracted for enough time to shoot them one by one
>100 rats per lion, if rats can't take them fast enough, shoot them when you're done with the bulls.
>Ignore the crocodiles, slow as fuck they don't even move, they just wait till something touches their mouth.
>Use the rest of the rats to distract the gorillas and shoot them.

What can even go wrong?.
>>
>>726761996
I want someone to actually prove me wrong.

Pro Tip: You can't.
>>
>>726755963
50 hawks is the only option here. Nothing else can hurt them when they're in the sky other than man with gun, go for him first, maybe lose a hawk or two if he gets a lucky shot. Everything else, 50 hawks can target them one at a time from most to least dangerous and just fuck them up so quick. I reckon my main threat would be the rats because it would take time to get through all of them and a thousand rats is like, half a ton or rats, they could do some serious work but I reckon I would have a better chance with hawks than with anything else
>>
>>726761996
it's even more plausible if each group of animals attack one by one.
>>
>>726761996
100 rats vs 50 falcons just gives the falcons a light snack before they tear your eyes out
>>
>>726756694
Correct answer.
>>
>>726763263
each rat is the size of a house cat as other anon already stated (which is true if you have seen how big rats can get). Angry giant rats waiting for your light skeleton falcons, that's what you're facing down there. It's just a matter of time, they can only attack one rat at a time, but rats can jump in group and take down your meme birds by sheer weight.
>>
>>726761996
>Crocodiles are slow
a Nile croc can run 2x faster than you and that's a fact.
Up to 30mph retard.
You're wrong.
And are you actually dumb enough to think 100 rats could kill a bear?? 100 rats couldn't kill me if I was armed with just a baseball bat.
Try again
>>
>>726763723
show me 1 instance of a 12-15lb rat and I'll live stream my suicide right now.
Stupidest thing I've read yet.
>>
>>726764001
ok let me realocate 300 rats per bear, rats the size of cats, with bites that could take off a human finger straight from your hand. Your bears have no chance.
>>
Y'all wyld
https://youtu.be/P5BR8Vy9x_o
>>
>>726755963
the human run away with him the hawks will attack the rats the lion will attack the ox and wolves would try to get some food against the lions which the lions will win the bear would attack gorillas and start a fight crocs are slow as fuck and would fight lions too or something...the human would shoot the winners down and we will feast
>>
>>726764209
if you're wasting your 50 falcons on my rats, then let me realocate my 1000 rats to take down your shitty birds, who's laughing now cuck
>>
>>726755963
>You idiots will argue over anything
NO I WON'T!
>>
>>726764306
It's not ffa. Everything will go after you. Together.
>>
>>726764226
again, show me a single instance of a 15lb sewer rat. Rats DO NOT get as big as house cats. That's absolutely asinine.
>>
>>726764390
I didn't choose falcons, wrong person. The fact is you'd die no matter what you choose.
>>
>>726764001
Crocodiles have limited stamina maybe they are fast for a couple second to take one or two rats at full speed, then they're done and need to rest. Then they are useless. Congratulations your crocodiles just took around 30 rats off my 1000. I can do the rest myself, just need a sharp knife and go full cocodrilo dundy.
>>
>>726764672
I didn't choose crocs either, just picking apart your dumb argument. Again, there is no way to win here.
>>
>>726764478
maybe not as big as house cats you autist fuck, but pretty damn big, it's well known city that big city rats have killed and eaten stray cats before.

Besides, that's irrelevant when you're talking about ONE THOUSAND of dem fucking rats
>>
>>726764866
you ain't picking apart anything, the fact is that you can't take 1000 rats with 9 crocs, that's my point. Prove me wrong or stop damage controlling.
>>
>>726764940
literally kekking at your damage control.
I'm autistic??>>726764226
"Rats the size of cats".
Kekekekekek
and you still lose, even if they were huge. I believe a pack of rats can kill a cat, I don't believe even 2000 could kill the other animals on that list, and if you do then I can't help you. But you're wrong, just admit it.
>>
>>726764579
I know fag, we all die in a situation like that, but this is a hipotetical discussion. I feel like you're saying that because you lost the argument already.
>>
>>726765076
>rats in water
no chance
>croc out of water

MAAAYYYBE the rats have a chance and thats only if one bite of a croc doesnt eat like 50 of them at a time.
>>
>>726765076
ITS NOT ONE GROUP AGAINST THE OTHER ITS EVERY FUCKING ANIMAL ON THE LIST V. YOUR RATS. LRN2READ.
>>
>go with army dude
>he brings in Leopard 2A7+
>reactive composite armor
>stay in tank just running over all the animals because it's a 50 ton tank.
>>
>>726765293
If you don't think 1000 rats can take on 3 bears, then I'm wasting my time with someone that doesn't like to think with facts.
>>
>>726765551
I give up. I refuse to argue with someone that's too dumb to read the OP. Congratulations, you win by default. I'm going to go burn my hands with an iron to help me cope with your stupidity.
>>
>>726765425
Not the anon you're responding to, but no matter what, if every animal goes against wichever your pick is, chances are you would get destroyed, and rats are the only pick that could stand a fight, even if they lose it's the closest you can get to making it out alive.

That's all I'm saying.
>>
>>726755963
I say 9 crocodiles,basically,since those 9 crocs will follow my commands and protect me,i run into a lake with some diving gear and let the other critters come and get me.
The only issue are the birds which is why i brought the diving gear.
>>
>>726765787
you would die no matter what. Its that simple. Maybe you're right, but you still lose.
>>
>>726756542
Crocs are the most docile fucking animal unless you go fuckin with them.
All 9 of them would lie in the sun and make hissing noises while you got your shit kicked in by 2 Donkey Kongs.
>>
>>726765891
No fag that anon summed it up for me, you already agreed so you can get fucked, I win this hipotetical fight, deal with it.

P.S. I know I would die anyway but that's no fun at all, don't be a retard.
>>
>>726765965
this anon knows what's up
all you cocodrile fags arguing 200km/s adrenaline rush cocodrile attacks can take my 1000 rats it's a fucking deluded retard.
>>
>>726766060
kek touché anon.
I hate your fucking guts, but at least you're a funny retard.
>>
>>726765523
actually it looks like he brought a baseball cap and a repeater, tough luck on that
>>
>>726758800
im going with this one
>>
>>726766248
thanks, I specialice in arguing about anything as long as it's autistic as fuck. GG, would re.
>>
>>726756706
i asssume u didnt count the lions
>>
I really think you're fucked no matter what. None of them could take out the 50 hawks, but the 50 hawks wouldn't be able to kill everything before it got to you.
>>
>>726757084
rat/mouse/vermin breeding tend to hit a critical mass when they outgrow their resources/get disease/partake in an ungodly level of inbreeding and the whole pack just gets wiped
>>
>>726766364
oh trust me, I can tell.
Those are skills forged in autistic flame.
I hope we meet again friend
>>
>>726763723
>send 100 cat-rats after hawks
>hawks fly over then and go straight for you
>instadead
fact is nothing can directly defend you against hawks, leaving them as the only option
>>
>>726759195
best answer yet
>>
>>726757033
My nigga
>>
>>726759195
i second this
>>
>>726756903
underrated post
>>
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>>726755963
Did some average mass calculations for a single animal and it's group to better help us come to a conclusion.

My bet is on the crocs.
>>
>>726767685
where did you get half pound rat? Adult rats can be over a pound easy
>>
>>726761996
only 10 rats per wolf? you end up dead
>>726762432
>>
>>726756903
Top kek pokemon go
>>
>>726767685
big and fat just makes for an easier target dont base your opinions on mass
>>
10000 mice. Build wall.
>>
>>726762432
I can't prove you wrong because you believe in mythical super rats
>>
>>726767894
It really depends on location this battle takes place, whether or not the rats are native, and I'm assuming these aren't house pets that have been fed and coddled their whole life, but fierce scavengers who perhaps haven't eaten in a while and will gladly kill a water buffalo just to eat - not the heaviest nor beefiest of rats.
>>
>>726767685
>I didn't read the thread therefore I ignore that 1000 rats are my best shot at survival.

I refuse to do this all over again, this rat discussion was exausting and we already said everything worth saying about it. Read the thread.
>>
>>726767685
Do you want a quick rundown on killer rats?
Start here:

>>726761996
>>
>>726759421
They are far from slow when they want to be
>>
>>726768467
For a very short time. Not even worth it. They can't even do as well at night time.
>>
>>726768323
Nah crocs definitely have rats beaten.

One 1500 pound crocodile can easily log roll over a 1000 rats squishing their feeble skulls easily.
>>
>>726768323
rats can't defend you against hawks, you're assuming the hawks will go for the rats and be overwhelmed. the animals want to kill YOU, the hawks will go for YOU. bye bye, game over
>>
>>726768630
they just roll when they catch something with their mouth, and what are the odds that would happen? by the way they provide the perfect distraction so I can take your crocs one by one with a knife cocodrilo dundy style.
>>
>>726768630
'excuse me, can all you rats line up here then wait for 10 minutes while my fatagator struggles to do literally anything on land
>>
>>726768843
exactly
that dude underestimates his enemy.
>>
>>726759830
elfen lied
>>
1 MILLION ANTS BEATS ALL
can only shoot 10 at a time at most
swarm everything
hawks incoming
ants swarm me making a hard exoskeleton
hawks die on impact
>>
>>726764209
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2083341/The-Beast-Bronx-Three-foot-rat-New-York-City-shoe-shop.html

Can you use a rope for me?
>>
>>726768670
rats can jump very high, I just have to crouch and let some 15 rats in my back so hawks get fucked when they crash with my wal-o-rat
>>
>>726768843
You further my point. That's just what 1 croc could do on land, but in water! Sure rats are fairly good swimmers but they can't out hold their breath to a crocodile.

They would drown just trying to attack the croc.
>>
>>726768977
now that's cheating, we never said anything about ants, keep it real pls
>>
>>726768670
Rats can't protect you from anything, I think I will go with the Hawks on this one.
>>
>>726769167
we are not on wather, why would be? duh.

You suck at this.
>>
>>726755963
The falcons
49 Falcons pick you up everywhere
One gouges the hunter's eyes out
/thread
>>
>>726769183
ants are always an option, you probably coudlnt see cause theyre so small
>>
>>726769260
This.
>>
>>726769260
KEK lol
>>
>>726769304
well then I pick ants
/thread
>>
>>726769254
That would be an unfair advantage to a particular species. I think it's an all around water/land location. Strategy is involved.

A crocodile can go for a long time without eating, waiting in the water while the rats starve to death on land.
>>
>>726769323
>>726769334
I know a samefag when I see one.
>>
>>726769373
this is my strat:
I never step on water

NOW WHAT FAG
>>
>>726755963
This doesn't make any sense. In this case, according to the rules, you would really have no choice but to pick the human with a gun. I'll explain why:

One will protect you, the other eight will kill you... That means if you choose anything besides the dude with the gun, he along with EVERYTHING ELSE is going to be after you. Whatever you pick, that dude can finish it off just by himself. So, you're dead regardless tbh.
>>
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>>726765965
>>
>>726769373
The rats could eat carcasses of other animals.
>>
>>726769489
>A crocodile can go for a long time without eating, waiting in the water while the rats starve to death on land.
>>
>>726769591
Need water more than you need food!
>>
>>726769654
your crocs are useless then, fight is long over when your crocs decide its time to go for a snack, I'm already in hawaii celebrating with my million rats (they reproduced very fast)

Are you even trying?
>>
>>726761996
This is retarded, if you use swarm tactics then fucking swarm, don't split the forces and ruin the entire point of having them. Send 1000 at one animal, 1000 minus however many died at the next, etc
>>
>>726769764
While that is true I could hope they can get the water from fruits or vegetables in the area, or from drinking the blood of the fallen. These could be some hardcore rats.
>>
>>726755963
15 wolves is clearly op.
>>
>>726755963
Choice tier list from most to least retarded
>pants on head tier
Alligators, basicly worthless on land
man with gun, won't be able to fire fast enough to deal with anything before being overwhelmed
lions, pretty feeble in reality, lions vs bears used to be popular when animal fighting was an acceptable thing to watch but got boring because bears would just win every single time
stupid tier
wolves, really lack the mass or raw power to deal with a lot of the alternatives also fairly flimsy
gorillas, granted they're powerful as fuck individually but with only two of them they're just not going to last
average tier
bears, hardy AF, their main letdown is, again, lack of numbers, they won't be able to last against the shear numbers
Bulls, powerful, hefty, hard to kill. would probably do some serious work but they lack coordination and agility, easily dodged by any of the faster animals
smart tier
rats, sheer numbers is almost never a bad option, could form a protective barrier around you and tear apparat anything that got near, main issue would be other animals ability to potentially get to you before the rats could get their deathhold onto them
hawks, ultimately nothing can defend you from the hawks flying directly to you and tearing you apart before anything can be done to stop them so picking them eliminates that threat and they could also do some good work by numbers with minimal risk to themselves
actually thought about it for more than 10 seconds tier
you're dead either way, pick whatever you want to die surrounded by
>>
I think the question is flawed. It really depends if you're talking about a fight that lasts until you or your enemies in the pic are eliminated, or if you're talking about something that goes on until you are dead.

In option 1, I'd take the grizzlies or the wolves. A pack of wolves can defend the pack (including you) against a single grizzly, but I'm not sure how they'd fare against 3.

The zookeeper is limited by factors unexplained in the pic. Shooting skill, reload time, and evasiveness would determine ability to survive. Still, a grizzly can take multiple wounds unless the zookeeper is highly accurate and has at least a semi-automatic rifle. A human can't outrun a grizzly, so the only chance is one shot kills from a distance to multiple targets.

I thing the grizzlies are the safest bet for survival.
>>
>>726769906
the thread concensus is that you must split every animal you picked to defend you to take on everything at the same time, I already tried to prove my point saying what you said about going 1 kind of animal vs 1 and everyone called me a retard. Even then if we pick the force of 1000 rats over anything one by one, my chances of survival are higher, you just get overwhelmed by sheer number. Please stop embarasing yourself.
>>
>>726770093
ofcourse question is flawed, but please don't be one of those fags that don't get the point of the thread. Play along or fuck off with your hyperealism logic.
>>
50 falcons. So pet shop arc of job a today and realize you you don't fuck with falcons
>>
>>726755963
the hunter i mean he has a gun so he can just shot the other animal dumb
>>
>>726770295
I answered the question in the spirit of the thread.
>>
The bulls are armed with lethal horns and have thick defensive hides. I'm able to ride atop one to glorious victory or honorable defeat. Plus if one of them is red I have wings.
>>
>>726769553
you are dramatically overestimating the effectiveness of one cunt with a dated firearm and underestimating the speed of 50 hawks
>>
>>726770428
oh sorry skipped the grizzly part, you're good to go. Still, get fucked by 1000 rats boi.
>>
>>726769403
Nice try m8
>>
>>726755963
50 birds. Only things that can fly. 59 birds can carry me to safety.
>>
>>726770115
You don't need to split it though, if they're all coming at you at once 1000 rats is a huge number and you can send out basically an entire carpet of them to just incapacitate everything that comes your way. The only one who will give you any trouble is the shooter
>>
>>726755963
The obvious choice is the birds of prey

>train them all to pick out eyes
>BRING ME THEIR EYES BIRDIES

Can't kill what you can't see

mice are too numerous to have all eyes picked out but mice are naturally afraid of birds of prey so they won't do shit
>>
>>726755963
Rats, chance of disease is extremely high so the other animals are fucked if they get bitten. And like >>726757084 said, they reproduce like white trash in Detroit. So all they have to do is swarm. (At the very least they can serve as cannon fodder while I peace the fuck out.)
>>
>>726755963
I maybe a little late for this thread but I say 1000 rats it's the right choice.

But I think it doesn't really matter what you pick you're rollaly fucked anyway.
>>
>>726770797
>>726770877

Team Thousand Rat 4Life
>>
>>726755963
I'll roll tho
>>
>>726770873
u 2 r team rat boi

welcome
>>
>>726770783
Easy target for the human with the rifle.
>>
>>726770557
Well, I considered the rats. They don't move that fast (faster than a human walking, but not running), and grizzly bear fur is extremely thick, meaning they could absorb many rat bites.

The grizzlies could kill them easily with a swipe of a paw or stepping on them. The key to survival would be stamina and mobility.
>>
The Grizzly Bears, sometimes those bears can shrug off bullets like they ain't shit.
>>
>>726770873
>chance of disease is extremely high
all your rats have died on their own, what now?
>>
Gorilla, just watched Kong.

He killed the lizards, the human trying to kill him, and other shit too.
>>
>>726755963
50 hawks out number the rest combined excluding the rats. If the Hawks distract the others for long enough it could give you enough time to get away
>>
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>>726771361
>>
>>726771391
rats won't get infected by their own filth fuckboi, don't you know anything about pests? They would only get bigger and stronger. An army whorty of a King.
>>
>>726755963
I'd pick the rats. Or anyone except the guy, really.


I'm fucked either way, the more I can hope for is for a merciful death by being shot in the head.
>>
>>726771210
49 birds carry, 10 harass the hunter. Hawks are fast. Have birds drop you in top of a mountain and then pick off anything that tries to scale it. Birds win every time.
>>
>>726771745
40*
>>
>>726757304
>and on that day...my one wolf...wolf pack, became a 16 wolf pack

Go get em anon
>>
>>726771715
Imagine if the guy were a psycho and tied you down for the rest of the animals to take you apart, and only shot you with non letal weapons till you beg for it.
Thread posts: 175
Thread images: 8





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