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I'm going to jail soon /b/. I have to surrender myself on

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 294
Thread images: 23

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I'm going to jail soon /b/. I have to surrender myself on the 28th. Any advice?
>>
under what charges.
>>
>>726745311
Animal abuse, trespassing, illegal possession of a firearm.
>>
Keep your mouth shut, do what the detention officers tell you and don't make eye contact.
>>
jail is just boring. I've never seen shit ever kick off besides an arguement or 2
>>
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>>726745405
then good. you might as well molest children.
>>
>>726745246
How long?
>>
run OP, run to mexico and eventually french polynesia, any life is better than prison
>>
>>726745643
4 years.
>>
>>726745685
I'm considering it. I'm not American though.
>>
>>726745246
Move to Thailand and fuck ladyboys
>>
stuff as much drugs in your ass as you can
>>
Decide whether you're going to be a top or bottom.

I suggest bottom.
>>
>>726745405
>Animal abuse
get raped fucka
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>>726745695
Well, sucks to be you.
>>
>>726745246
Remember, it's not rape if you consent.
>>
That animal deserved it
>>
>>726745246
>Animal abuse
If the others find out thats what your in for your going to have a bad time
>>
Alright, several tips. First off don't trust prison food that stuff is poison and it could probably turn the frogs gay, stick with vending machine shit, you can get ramen and stuff and you will have access to a microwave. Second off figure out something you are good at, I'd recommend tattooing if you are a decent artist that way people won't fuck with you since people want tattoos. Third off, don't act the fool, keep your head low. Don't go in there like you own people go in humble but don't let people walk over you, that gains respect and people probably won't fuck with you over it. If you have good behavior and work hard they will let you buy a tv, and other stuff, for your room, but remember, there are certain TV shows that you can never watch in jail, can't remember most of em but anything involving children that could be even remotely be seen as creepy is out, stay away from sports mostly, basically anything that has a conflicted review with some people loving and some people hating don't watch cuz people will get angry over that shit. So yeah, those are the big ones. Emphasis on finding something you can do that people want (like tattooing). Well peace.
>>
Remember with tattooing and stuff though, you need to be able to hide it quick. It is against the rules in prison and might get you in trouble if you aren't sneaky about it.
>>
>>726745695
Jail isnt that serious. People just want to do their time and leave. Mind your business and treat people with respect and you'll get it in return. you probably wont have to fight a day in your life if you show youre not afraid to. Just dont be a bitch.
>>
>>726745695
four years for animal abuse, trespassing, and illegal possession of a firearm? what the hell did you do? tell the story
>>
Don't pick up the soap in the shower
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>>726746881
This
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>>726745405
Then you went to farm to fuck a horse?
>>
>>726746881
pedos and animal abuse drives people up a wall you better learn to fight real quick
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>>726746881
I was a crack addict who hunted cats in my neighbourhood for fun. I would snatch them up in back alleys, bring them home, and torture them. The gun was used in case some person in the neighborhood came knocking at my door in case they found out I took their cat.
>>
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>>726747448
wow you deserve hell

I hope they fuck you up
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>>726747530
Only God can judge me.
>>
>>726747448
When you get out and you have the urge to do drugs again think about jail, that will keep you clean,
>>
>>726747448


/b/ full of normal people
>>
>>726745246
Ensure that you prepare your butthole wide enough. Prison sex is the best you will ever have. I recommend gently massaging it now and sticking things like pens or glue sticks in there. Even then, it will not be enough for the beauty that is Tyrone's monster dong. Trust me, you will enjoy it, have fun :)
>>
>>726745405
What did you do? Fuck your neighbor's dog with a sawed off shotgun?
>>
>>726747448


how did you get cought?
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>>726747935
See >>726747448
>>
>>726745695

WTF, are you in the UK or Australia ? I can't think of anywhere else right now...

Keep to the people of your own race, low profile, get someone on the outside to give you money every month in your account (familly member, someone you trust) you can't use your own money inside. Learn how to make a small stove with a tin can if you're allowed lighters inside. Don't gamble, don't do drugs, avoid fights, don't talk about your charges. Focus on something, prepare for the outside, even if it's just to pass time
>>
learn to luv nigger dick
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>>726747991
Some guy saw me drowning a cat in my mom's house's backyard at like 2 am and called the cops
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>>726748097
Canada
>>
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Here's an instruction manual for you.
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>>726747448
Kek gg m8. No way your anus isnt theirs once they find out what your in for. You wont come out alive see ya anon
>>
>>726748196
OP's a grill?

This changes everything.
>>
>>726745685
>>726745749
OP you should run to Mexico, life is more easy there. Easy bitches and the most fucked up political system ever
>>
>>726748429
Could I just drive?
>>
>>726747726
Fuck off with that shit. Saying God is the only person who can judge you is like saying you are the biggest fucking snowflake ever. Only someone who cannot tell you how much of a massive fucking pussy you are is allowed to call you out on being a massive fucking pussy. You are literal human garbage. Imagine you adopted a kid and raised him for ten years. One day, someone goes out, tortures him and kills him. Doesn't seem all the nice now doesn't it? I hope you get ass raped.
>>
>>726748301

You're an idiot, no one fucking cares about what a junkie did inside unless he raped a kid. No one will even want to hit him if he doesn't deserve it (unless nigger for obvious reasons) because diseases
>>
>>726748571
It was a cat. Grow up.
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>>726748628
Child rape and animal abuse are sure fire ways to get shit on. Get out of here faggot.
>>
>>726745246
>>726745405
>>726747448

include me in screencap
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>>726748127
Hope you enjoyed it. They find out and your fucked. You best keep to yourself and stay low key, but not weak. Weak = rape and animal abuser = rape. Basically do your time, take any rapings you recieve, get out and stop being a fucktard.
>>
>>726745246
If you're white, join the Aryan Brotherhood or something idk. Just try not to get ass-raped. Godspeed OP.
>>
>>726749456
I have ulcerative colitis so prison authorities are giving me a special cell.
>>
>>726749697
Hahahahahahhahahahaahahahahahahahahagahahahahahahhaha
>>
>>726749798
It's a very painful disease. I suffer a lot.
>>
I was the guy who posted the super long serious response. I withdraw that. Do the exact oposite. I hope someone litterally sticks a shank down your asshole and fuck you with it while twisting violently.
>>
>>726749697
Probably get you ass kicked for being a special fag. That'll help you not stand out.
>>
>>726747448
Well you're a sick fuck, but what else is new on /b/? Get therapy while you're in there and keep your head down. Don't snitch, don't be a bitch, don't piss off the guards/COs, don't try to get involved with any hardliner gangs if you can help it. Find a few people who tolerate you and just hang out with them. Work out whenever you can.

As for skills you may need in there:
Card games; Learn to play Spades and Poker at the very least. Other games like Rummy, Black jack, and 21 are also recommended.

Basic grapples, punches, and blocking; look up some basic martial arts tonight and get some practice in now.

Cooking; look up some prison commisary recipes. Things like cakes made from ramen/oatmeal/candy, burritos, ect.

Other things: Get a full mug of hot water before you lock up for the night if you can. Teas and coffee is better that way and you can also make some late night ramen.

Get a job asap and don't try to smuggle shit until you know what guards pat you down where and even then only sparingly.

Your cellmate can and usually will ask to see your papers which includes what you are in for, not to mention they do get local newspaper in there so if you're in that, they'll find out. Groups WILL do their own kind of background checks on you to figure out if they want you in or around their table.

Try not to get isolated. If you get some friends, stick close to them.
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>>726749868
Why would you want that.. what the fuck. I'm not op but that's pretty sick.
>>
>>726749842
Kind of like the cats?
>>
Christ Almighty anons he's going to jail in Canada.
Gonna be a lot of "Excuse me, you 1st & I'm sorry's" not any shiving or drinking pruno.

Worst thing he's gonna face is the ration of maple syrup.
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>>726750010
It's just a cat. Move on.

>>726749932
Thank you.
>>
>>
Bring lube you fucking piece of shit
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>>726749842
Good also im laughing cause you think youll be safe in a personal cell.
>>
>>726750100
Was a correctional officer for a year. Shitty job. Be nice to the COs in there and they should leave you alone. if not, note the dates and times they get out of line and fly a kite (write a grievance). We all make mistakes anon and you're more fucked up than most but I've seen worse people get better and better people get worse. Try to get something positive out of this and fix that head of yours.
>>
Op drowns cats. Op digs for sympathy for his painful disease.

Winrar
>>
you will get raped anon. also DO YOU realize you deserve it? i hope you do. scum like you should be locked up. im not trying to be edgy.
>>
>>726745405
Stop harming innocent animals unless you intend to eat them faggot
>>
>>726750811
think positive anon

+0
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>>726750756
It'll have a custom toilet and a double bed and a tv
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>>726745838
Exactly this. If you do it right, what you bring in your prison pocket can set you up in general population.
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>>726747448
Ok you deserve every day of 4 years for being a piece of shit and breaking rule 0
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>>726747448
Include me in screencap, as well. @Skizofren
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>>726745405
good riddance, scum. I hope they never let you out.
>>
Someone who kills cats for fun deserve every thing they get. Anyone who disagrees is just trying to be edgy. Have fun in jail, faggot. Rule 0 will always come back to haunt you.
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>>726751296
He'll probably be in the medical pod. Those cells are cushy as hell. He might as well be a PC bitch though as far as GP is concerned.
>>
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>>726745405
>>
All cats deserve to be drowned though
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i hope you get treated the same way you treated those animals. you're a piece of shit. 4yrs isn't nearly enough
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>>726747448
you piece of shit i love my cats more than humans i hope you fucking die you cunt
>>
>>726745685
>any life is better than prison
I don't think so.
Prison rules!
>>
>>726752212
I wish I got my hands on them too.

Want to hear the details of some of my torturing?

I once cut open the womb of a pregnant cat and smashed the fetuses with a hammer in front of the mother. I then suffocated the cat with a plastic bag.

>inb4 that's illegal!!!!!1!1

Obviously. Why do you think I'm going to jail for 4 years? I confessed all the details of my crimes to the judge.
>>
>>726752535
pics or it didn't happen
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>>726752658
This was over a year ago. I was too high to get pics
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>>726752535
why are you still on the fucking street in my country they would of kept you locked up until trial
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>>726749932
>Your cellmate can and usually will ask to see your papers
let me see your papers - you're too much
>>
>>726750057
kek
>>
>>726752823
I live in Canada.
>>
>>72675253>>726753003
if this shit is all true karma will come. someone google see if this is bullshit or not
>>
i wish i could personally fuck you up rn. i so really wish to solder your eyes & ears shit so you won't know what i will do. i want to burn your dick off & solder it into your own asshole. i wanna break all your fingers very slowly with a wrench so you can feel every fucking bone break one by one. i want to break all your ribs with a hammer & break your spine with a spade shovel. then i want you to suffocate in gasoline before i set you on fire. yet you still deserve worse
>>
>>726753124
good at least you are 1000s of miles from england.
>>
>>726753245
Too bad you'll never be able to do that, eh champ?
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>>726752535
Did the police knew all of your crimes or you just confessed about what you were caught?
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>>726753245
i agree this cunt should of been executed hes worthless to mankind
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>>726747726
If so, soon an entire prison will be your God.

Go ahead, and fail to make your oblations, and see what happens.

/even the guys who don't like cats will be pissed at you over the torture thing.

//image related, you'll be seeing a lot that kind of thing
>>
>>726745405
>Animal abuse
I hope you get gang raped and get AIDS you worthless piece of shit
>>
how do we know this is true and not some attention seeking fag in his moms basement?
>>
>>726753427
They know of all my crimes. I confessed to all of them. I had no choice since I collected and kept the collars of the cats, which is pretty incriminating.
>>
>>726753361
sadly, cuz i'd more than gladly go to prison after doing that
>>
>>726745246
Do you know what prison?
>>
>>726753662
no one is allowed to lie on /b/
>>
To the OP: What pushed you to torture these cats. Legit question.
I know that you were high, but if you kept doing it you must have a serious problem: tell me you aware of that.
>>
>>726747448
Oh, it's you.
>>
>>726747448
it's ok, it is the right thing to surrender, i feel happy knowing that you have the conciousness of knowing you did wrong, i hope you get the minimum sentence
>>
>>726748778
You'll do some growing up in jail.
>>
>>726747726
Actually, a *Judge* can judge you. And did, thus Prison. As a proud parent of two fur babies, here's my advice to you: Enjoy the irony of having your sphincter turned into a PUSSY.
>>
>>726745246
OP, when you get your first set of clothes, always keep your first pair of socks. Wear them, then it comes time to wash, say that you lost your socks. They will let you slide this time and give you another.

Rotate cleaning socks and always have 2 sets. Double up socks for the luxury of warm feet when you sleep.

When you have your first cafeteria meal, learn the recipe and save ingredients for a dish called "spread". Food will get bland over time and if you know how to make spread, it'll be like you have a panda express orange chicken meal whenever you please.

It's not very appealing, but it'll tantalize your tastebuds when everything tastes like chalk after awhile.
>>
>>726753665
full of shit a basement fag forsure
>>
Engage in a violent standoff with the police
>>
>>726753747
I guess it started when I was a kid and stole my cousins hamster. I took it, tied it inside of a soccer sock and threw it up and down as hard as I could in a field for am hour or so. Afterwards when I opened the sock, the hamsters eyes were out of its sockets and it was twitching, so I stomped it. Ever since then I've been doing this stuff but only with cats since I was on crack.
>>
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>>726748778
It's not about some stupid cat. It's about animal torture. That pisses people off.

/but it's more amusing if you don't take my word for it, so please don't.
>>
>>726746711
Spoken like a true ex-con.
He speaks wisdom young one...heed his words
Jail isn't too bad...prison is worse.
One thing though...if you get a shitty cellie....your FUCKED
Good Luck with that one
>>
>>726754032
how old are you?
>>
>>726754136
29.
>>
>>726753710
The one with the sign that has hockey pucks for eyes. a maple leaf for mouth & nose, and a pair of crossed hockey sticks underneath.
>>
>>726753665
Do you think that "an eye for an eye" is a fair justice principle?
>>
>>726753710
ADX Florence (Fremont County, Colorado) probably.
>>
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>>726749842
Legal AND poetic justice. It's like a 2 for 1 deal in this thread.
>>
surgically removed butthole anon. ur only hope
>>
>>726754261
Yes.
>>
>>726747448
The bait is strong
>>
OP:
>animal abuse
>crack addict
>fucking leaf
>drowning a cat in my mom's house's backyard
>only god can judge me
>ulcerative colitis
>only 4 years
>want to hear the details of some of my torturing?

You deserve to get fucked up by your inmates you fucking piece of degenerate shit. You're gonna have a hard time in jail, especially with your ass problems. Hope BBC feels good for you, faggot.
>>
>>726754280
"When Canada sends us their people they're cat killers, rapists and drug dealers. Some is guess are OK."

BUILD A NORTHERN WALL
>>
this is too fucked up going back to b catalog to look at big asses and porn..
>>
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>>726749842
>>726750010
>>726750100
>>726750979

>>726752535
>>726754032
>>726754136
>>726754208
>hahahahaha
What an exceptional individual.

>>726753486
>>
>>726754607
I'll give you another instance of torture.

I cooked a cat alive on a spit in my mom's backyard.
>>
>>726754860
What a waste.
>>
in a perfect world this would happen to you op
>>
too much jail time 1 year shows how fucked up our justice system is. im sure in a year he can learn a lesson but no lets linger on this cat tortuing for like 4 .. fucking hell come out worse. and asking online for the what to do for the next four years. i wouldnt have any idea, well.
>>
i think you should seriously consider suicide
>>
how much do you regret your actions?
>>
>>726754860
What drove the compulsion? There’s a character in Infinite Jest that, while recovering in a halfway house, killed cats by smashing them in a trash bag just to feel a sense of release. It sounds like your compulsions were not exclusively related to your substance abuse, but this is about as close as I can get, intellectually, to understanding such a compulsion.
>>
>>726747448
Are you a nigger? Why did you torture them?
>>
>>726755174
>>726754860
i think op would say 0
>>
>>726755236
>What drove the compulsion?

Aspiring to be a serial killer.
>>
>>726754476
Well with this logic you should be tortured to death

And you would find it "fair"
>>
>>726755467
I'm not a cat, idiot.
>>
Good luck with the parole board op
>What did you do again?
>I captured and tortured people's cats for fun
hahahahahaha you gonna be in prison a LONG time fucker. Enjoy your ass rape and your ruined ass life.
>>
>>726749932
You screwed up at the end.

In prison it's against etiquette to ask what someone's in for. You ask how long they're in for, and they can tell you the what if you want.

They don't need you to tell them.

What you're in for is a matter of pubic record. All they need is your prison number and they can look it up online. They always get someone to check out the new guys. To shank you if you're a pedo, to recruit you if it's for violence, and for any other pertinent intel. If it's notorious, the guards will go around talking about it.
>>
>>726755567
I think cats deserve better treatment than a sick fuck like you
>>
>>726755567

You're a sensitive living being. A cat is a sensitive living being.

You = kill cat
You = be killed
>>
>>726755589
4 years.

I won't get parole. I'll tell those faggots how fun it was. Like a game of cat and mouse.. heh
>>
>>726755717
Humans>dumb cat
>>
>>726755567
Cats often play with their kills. Cats often snap the necks of their prey with their legs in one swift motion. Cats are usually solitary creatures.

You sound like a cat.
>>
>>726750057
Maple syrup is thick. Doesn't take much to drown someone with it, just have to hold them down...
>>
>>726755705
You'll never understand the rush of running through back alleys at night trying to keep a cat clawing and biting you quiet as you take it back to your house at 3 am. It's a blast. The hunt was more exhilarating than the kill.
>>
>>726754032
>> cats crack.

how does this make logic?
>>
>>726755739
>being the mouse in the situation
>>
>>726755739
Yeah you're pretty hardcore now bro, big talk. See how you feel after a few months of assrape.
>>
prove your not lying
>>
>>726755797

You feel pain as much as it does.

Do we really care that the human is smarter than a cat in an act of torture? I mean are you fucking stupid you sick fuck?

We don't hurt someone, something because it is dumb you sociopoath.
>>
>>726745405
>Animal abuse
Hope u rot in hell
>>
>>726755987
The cat was the mouse... hehe ironey
>>
>>726745246
If this person is going to prison, he should have documentation from his sentencing. Post it, or this is nothing but someone looking for attention.
>>
>>726756038
I did drop out of high school
>>
>>726756065
Your new name might be Snowball.
>>
>>726756149
Color me surprised.
>>
>>726756102
Agreed
Post proof OP or your a cellar dwelling faggot
>>
>>726756149

Well yeah, I think I knew that since the beginning.

Anyway, do you think it is the right thing for you to go to prison, or is it an injustice? I wonder.
>>
>>726756038
No, I think he's a psychopath, not a sociopath. Psychopaths feel great when most people would feel uncomfortable.

Like ramming their dick in a cat skull as blood oozes over their hips and down their legs. That kind of stuff.
>>
>>726753553
wow wow look at edgelord over here
>>
>>726756289
Injustice. It was just a cat. No better than some cockroach
>>
Op here. This is nothing more than an epic bait thread.
>>
>>726754032
Gr8 b8 m8 I r8 8/8
>>
>>726749697
>I have ulcerative colitis so prison authorities are giving me a special cell.
Here's a fun tip: you have ulcerative colitis, so prison authorities TOLD YOU you are getting a special cell. In reality, they think you are an animal torturer, and your "special cell" will contain a dude named Tyrone. He will ulcerate the ever loving shit outta your colitis, you can believe dat.

The only people who hate people who fuck with kids or animals WORSE than prison SCREWS, are the prisoners themselves.

This will not go well for you.
>>
>>726745405
go fucking die you asshole
>>
>>726756524
Cockroaches usually don't hunt vermin, though.
>implying cockroaches aren't vermin
>>
>>726755915
Lmfao this guy is such an edgelord.
Hope you like BBC
>>
>>726754032
Would you agree that people with brains like yours should not be able to reproduce? Do you feel what you do with the animals is wrong and that you have a problem? Or do they deserve what you do to them?

How's your relationship with mom and dad? Siblings? Did you ever rape or think of raping a boy or girl? If you could get away with killing a human, would you do it happily? Is it only animals or humans you'd like to abuse too?
>>
Hey op I'm digging through public records now for your arrest and sentencing. If I can figure out who you are we'll go ahead and ruin what free time you have left as well.
>>
>>726756635
That would be a violation of my human rights. We treat prisoners well up here, especially ones with a debilitating medical condition like myself. They already gave me a tour of my cell and asked if it's to my liking.

(This is in Canada not America)
>>
>>726745246
Do you already know where you are going to do your time? Some prisons are shittier than others, some are cake walks.
>>
>>726756869
Okay

>>726756851
Stop trying to be a shrink
>>
>>726756911
See >>726756902
>>
>>726756902
If it's Canada, I'm surprised you're not getting parole and extensive psych sessions. You're probably on a list now.
>>
>>726757068
Sure, but some *Canadian* prisons are shittier than others, also.
>>
>>726745685
That doesn't work anymore
>>
this thread is bait
can't find this guy anywhere online
gg op you would have sucked a lotta dick in "prison"
>>
>>726757355
>implying op doesn't suck a lot of dick already
>>
>>726757355
hes probably a youth offender dumb ass
>>
>>726756869
i sense an entitled little boy
get a life fag
>>
>>726757144
Like what... a broken zamboni machine?
>>
>>726757355
>>726757433
check'd

>>726757445
>>726754208
>>
>>726747726
That's what tramps say. Are you a tramp?
>>
>>726757500
check'd again
>>
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>>726755567
>I'm not a cat, idiot.
A clear inability to have empathy. You just cannot identify or understand pain in others. You're a real sociopath.
>>
>>726757020
Not trying to be. I'm a therapist and if this is true, it interesting. Are you left or right handed? Ambidextrous?
>>
>>726749534
No dont, if you do you won't get out and once in you can't get out.
>>
>>726757355
Thread is fake
This guy is nowhere
Animal rights activists would have plastered his face everywhere online by now
You've all been baited by an attention whoring edgelord
Nothing new for you fags
>>
>>726757498
Nah, but conditions vary wildly, from overcrowded (which tend also to be more violent places), to just general filth, plumbing problems / sewage issues, no hot water, bad food (like literally rotten spoiled food) - shit like that. Some places are like, phew, dodged a bullet, sucks to be inside but you can eat the food and your cell doesn't back up with your shit every time someone 2 doors down flushes. Knew a guy who died from a lung infection he got from some black mold growing in the kitchen - he got it bad because worked in the kitchen.
So yeah, you got quite a bit of variance depending on where you go.
>>
>>726756524
How is he going to see a cat being better than a cockroach when he's not better than a cockroach?
>>
Fake fake fake
>>
>>726757752
Maybe he was 17 and then sentenced as an adult? He lives with mommy
Then again could be a 40 year old loser just as easily
>>
>>726757752
I remember a time on /b/ when anon wouldn't even reply to a thread like this unless there was at least a Timestamp or some proof from OP

What happened /b/? Are newfags really that dumb now
>>
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>>726756902
>They already gave me a tour of my cell and asked if it's to my liking.

Now I'm going to need to see some proof too. You can blot out names and whatnot, but a snappy-snap of your paperwork is necessary.
>>
>>726755448
So serial killer training grounds and you get caugth killing cats? Pathetic. Even for something as shameful as killing you're fucking worthless
>>
>>726757867
Huh. I never would have expected that up there.
>>
kill this fucking thread
fuck you op find something better to do with your time
>>
>>726755860
underrated
>>
>>726757020
>>726757686
Answer my questions faggot.

Do you feel what you do with the animals is wrong and that you have a problem? Or do they deserve what you do to them?

How's your relationship with mom and dad? Siblings? Did you ever rape or think of raping a boy or girl? If you could get away with killing a human, would you do it happily? Is it only animals or some humans you'd like to abuse too?

What nationality are you? Not just Canadian. Like where are your parents from?
>>
>>726758426
I'm Welsh.
>>
>>726758295
>you're fucking worthless
I'll own up to that.

But I'm not OP.
>>
>>726755645
No I didn't, though I see where you would draw that conclusion. Yes, it is against etiquette to ask directly, but (at least in WDOC) every inmate has the right to request the official records (almost always given in paper format upon request, hence "...ask [the Department of Corrections] to see your papers") of what their cellmate was charged with as well as other official, "non-sensitive" information and, as you said, a lot of it and more is also available online or (as I said) occasionally in the local newspaper if the crime is unusual enough.
>>
>>726758063
this.
too much faggatory in here.
>>
>>726756902
>tour of his cell
holy jesus fucking christ he's going to adult daycare...
>>
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>>726745755
Underrated Post. I might do that and I'm not even facing jailtime!
>>
>>726753935
Fucking kek
>>
>>726747448

Holy shit. You're that cunt from melb aus.

You're gonna get your face destroyed when they find out who you are.

You're gonna deserve every second of it.
>>
>>726759235
Melbourne Australia?

Any links to an article about this guy?
>>
>>726759235
Sauce?
>>
>>726745246
in America they need to know what skills you have. Tell them you have worked in PLUMBING. This skill is something they need inmates to do. It's a much better job than the unskilled crap they stick people with.
>>
>>726759235
Is he in the newsor something?
>>
>>726747726

Every faggot that EVER says this is the type of faggot that would get judged to be an utter cunt by their imagined deity.
>>
>>726759235
They'll... claw his eyes out.
>>
>>726745405
kek
>>
>>726746087

This
>>
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>>726751410
>>
>>726759571

>lowqualitykek.pun
>>
>>726747448
props to you man, FUCK cats
>>
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>>726760143

no fuk u
>>
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OP, I just got out of jail 2 days ago, it was my first time there. It isn't too bad if you just keep to yourself, sleep, read. I didn't, people like me and think I am funny so I made some friends in their and socialized. If you have poor social skills, go with my previous advice. Have someone on time here he outs who will put money on your books so you can get ramen and other food. One, it's better than the garbage they will feed you. Two, your commissary items can be used to barter for other items. Noodles are basically currency. Be prepared to meet a lot of white supremacists. Idk what kind of jail you are going to. Mine was like an adult daycare. I spent my time reading and playing chess. Try to get good behavior time too.
>>
>>726745246
Keep your head down. Read books. Don't antagonize anyone. Treat other people with respect. The only people that get beat up or anything are the ones who are really annoying. Even then, they probably wont beat you up. Jail is short time. People care about their visits and want to get out quick so its not all fighting and rapes. At least not where I went.
It's weird. The people who have been to prison say that Jail and federal prison are the worst.
The people who have been to federal prison say its a cakewalk compared to state prison. Basically every institution thinks that the other one is the worst. Jail is run like a maximum security prison is, sometimes worse in terms of what you can and cannot do.
I wouldn't worry about it. Just don't be an asshole and don't be a child molester, be polite and crack a few jokes and you'll be fine. Been to jail about 4 times, each time was 2 weeks - 3 months. Never got into a fight. Never felt scared. I'm 5'5. I'm not like in super good shape. Just make sure people know who you are and why you're there and it will be alright. You'll fit in. Just don't trust anyone or borrow anything from anyone or to anyone.
>>
>>726759235
Noice redirect....faggot
>>
>>726747448

I hope the others find out you did that and give you some natural justice. Srs
>>
>>726760219
>Just make sure people know who you are and why you're there and it will be alright
LOL.. .er, I mean...
Yeah, this right here. That's the ticket! You do that, OP. Everything will be just peachy if you do!
>>
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>>726747448
>>
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Start with baby carrots, and eventually work your way up to something butternut squash sized. Otherwise your asshole is gonna hurt
>>
>>726760201
Also if you are a man, absolutely DO NOT call anyone a bitch. In jail, it's like calling women cunts or calling black people niggers to their faces. You will get your ass beat. Don't snitch on any misconduct either.
>>
>>726747448
Why can't people like you kill Muslims, politicians, Muslims, criminals, Muslims, etc.? It seems like every killer goes after weak people like Europeans and American liberals.
>>
>>726759536

http://media.domain.com.au/news/victoria-news/cat-shooter-at-large-in-melbournes-west-7679391.html
>>
>>726745246
You got someone on the outside to put a little change on your cantina account from time to time? You could probably get some of the sick fucks in here to throw a few sympathy dollars your way. It may not seem like much, but getting to buy some shitty peanut butter crackers, or a ramen, or a foil pouch of tuna or mackerel - shit like that makes all the difference, man. Everything is overpriced, though. But still, you get someone to drop you $5 or $10 every now and again, and you'll feel like you are on top of the world.
Hell, I might even do it once or twice myself, just to enjoy thinking about helping someone get to feel that way. I been out 6 years now in June.
>>
>>726760958

God, cats are way too cute.
>>
>>726756368
>implying he's wrong
Animal abusers are beneath child molesters.
>>
>>726760958
Kek

Based aussi cat remover
>>
>>726761210
o.O

Because, um... Children are worth less than animals? And you probably think he's a sick fuck, right?
>>
>>726746455
Is this true? I hope it's true.
>>
>>726745246
Dont drop the soap
>>
>>726745246
Protect your ass.
>>
>>726761335
Yes and yes.
>>
>>726747726
>Only God can judge me.
No, the guys that will be pounding your asshole until you bleed to death will judge you.
>>
Do butthole kegals
>>
>>726755860
Mind = blown
>>
>>726747726
>implying there's a god
>>
>>726745246
I got a message through to someone at Niagara and another to someone at Toronto South. I know one more guy at North Bay but I couldn't reach him yet. Will keep trying, but it don't even matter.
Between the two I did reach, they are going to reach out to everyone they know and spread the word. That net goes everywhere - fucking high and low, my friends. In a weeks' time, every con in every shithole in the country will be looking out for the new guy doing 4 years for killing cats.

And if possible, they are going to send me some pix for the follow up thread. Better cap this shit, /b/rothers.
>>
>>726745695
Jail or prison? Jail you'll be fine. Bored and hungry but fine. Prison you're fucked and especially with the animal abuse charge. Expect to be beaten often unless you ask to be placed in protective in which you'll be locked in a cubicle sized cell 18 hours a day.
>>
>>726762316
You're full of shit, but then again so is OP.

Capped anyway.
>>
>>726762457
>Expect to be beaten often unless you ask to be placed in protective
This might not be a terrible plan considering >>726762316
... just saying.
>>
>>726762457
Is animal abuse really that low on the prison totem pole? It definitely should be, I just didn't know that. My faith in convict justice has increased.
>>
>>726762316
Though you are likely full of shit word will get out what this kid did and when it does, he's fucked. You know the guards will accidentally let it slip out what he was sentenced for, they have kittehs at home too and will think it's funny.

You be fucked op, kys yourself
>>
>>726762676
Yeah mostly because it's a petty, pussy thing to do, picking on something small and helpless. He will be tested often. And even some of the most cold hearted convicts like animals anon.
>>
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>>726745246
prepare your anus
>>
>>726762844
>And even some of the most cold hearted convicts like animals anon.
Yeah good point. It's people they have trouble with.
>>
>>726762676
A lot of dudes inside are ultimately there because of some really fucked up shit they went through as a kid. If they aren't that guy, they know that guy. So, there's serious hate on anyone who fucks with kids, or women, or animals - basically anything that resembles the strong preying on the weak (outside) gets hate.
Which is especially ironic considering how often the strong prey on the weak inside.
>>
>>726745246
Ya don't drop the soap
>>
>>726745246
torturing and killing cats? have fun in jail op, you piece of shit
>>
>>726755097
If only op could get this instead of 4 years
>>
>>726763005
You make multiple interesting points here. Makes sense.
>>
When you get there the first thing you should do it punch the biggest guy there as hard as you can

Bonus points if he has teardrop tattoos under his eyes

Oh and also promise your cellie your Junie cakes those things are nasty but prisoners love them
>>
>>726762676
Yes. When it comes to the read hard motherfuckers who get locked up just think of them as normal people who go from zero to fuck your face with a hammer when they are upset by something. A person of the street accidentally bumps into them, instead of simply being annoyed they beat the shit out of them and get locked up. Someone laughs at them or makes them feel insulted, instead of simply being annoyed they beat the shit out of them and get locked up. They like animals and find out someone tortured a cat, instead of being annoyed they rape their ass.

Then the guards at the prison are all sadist that love to feed the weak to the strong and watch what happens. So even if you get protective custody or some shit like that, the guards will find an opportunity to serve you up on a platter just to see what happens, because it makes their dicks hard.
>>
>>726745246
when you get there prepare your anus and if you do get out, kys fucking animal abusing garbage
>>
hope op gets tortured like the cats, good luck getting fucked in the ass op

faggot
>>
>>726763538
When it happens to an animal abuser, it makes my dick hard too tbh. I'm on my couch with my little doggo even as I type this.
>>
>>726745246
So sorry to hear about your predicament Donald. I'm told you're a pretty successful business man? Perhaps use some of that money to hire an attorney? Maybe you could discuss your pending incarceration over dinner at one of your resorts?
>>
Bide your time but as others are saying word will get around and inmates will not like what you did. Not saying that there might not be other animal abusers in there but the general inmate population does not approve of it, i know someone who went through it and let's say he more than learend his lesson.
>>
>>726763378
This
>>
>>726763906
This
>>
>>726763952
This
>>
>>726763860
Story of this person you know?
>>
>>726763818
>>726763577
>>726762774
Kys op
>>
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>>726745246
Emigrate to Pitcairn

Its population of about 40 people is mostly comprised of senior citizens. Plus, no one will bother to try to spend extra money to extradite you due to Pitcairn's isolation from the rest of the world
>>
>>726747726
And he can't do that until your new friends send you to him.
>>
>>726764062
It was a family friend that ended up tortuing and killing a pet rabbit along with damaging private property. He got shit in jail over it and is no long affiliated with our family.
>>
Dont accept gifts i.e a smoke or any other shit. What people said stick to your race. Never ask any one what they're in there for. Courtesy flush as soon as shit hits the water.
>>
>>726764213
Fuck that, OP must face the consequences of his actions
>>
>>726764386
Did he get his shit pushed in daily?
>>
>>726747448
I hope you get fucking murdered in prison
>>
>>726764407
>Courtesy flush as soon as shit hits the water.
These inmates are all hardened thugs but they can't stand to poop next to somebody who doesn't do this?
>>
>>726765404
Hardened thugs will shank someone over crackers or a bag of coffee. Now think about what they'll do to some fucker who makes their cell smell like shit that they have to breath for the next hour or more because there is no real ventilation in their cell. What you think they can just open a window and make the smell go away? That shit lingers, and it pisses those hardened thugs off that they now have to stew in your fucking stink.
>>
Hey on the bright side op's mom won't have to waste her money housing him anymore.
>>
>>726765302
I heard he was just given a tough time overall and harassed at least in the jail he was in I dont know how it will be for op though
>>
>>726745246

I will screenshot this thread and pray daily that you are tortured and killed in prison. May you never see the light of day again.
>>
>>726767097
>>726765372
This
>>
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>>726767097
>praying
>>
>>726745246
>>726765372
I too, OP, hope you get fucking murdered
>>
>>726745246

My advice to you is to hang yourself as soon as you get there, make it look like a murder so your family can collect benefits off you for wrongful death (lol). That's the only use you are to anybody.
>>
>>726767294
OP does believe that only God can judge them.
>>
>>726767294
I'm not religious but for a sick fuck like this I'd still pray he get a really bad time
>>
>>726747726
I don't think God approves of animal torture.
kys.
>>
>>726767294

Praying is all you can do when you're powerless to do anything else. Whether god is listening or not, I'm willing to take the gamble and take some minutes each day to dedicate to this human filth's suffering and demise.
>>
>>726767622
Hm, fair enough, fuck it.
>>
>>726745246
Keep your head down. Don't talk to no one, be polite, be kind, do your time. Stay focused on the outside world, pick a skill and improve it because when you get out you have to be very good at something to get someone past hiring a criminal.
>>
>>726767910
Is this the voice of experience speaking? If so, what was your skill?
>>
>>726767910
>hiring
He lived with his mom and spent nights drowning cats in her back yard before conviction, that will never happen
>>
>>726756326
theres no difference between them, sociopath is just the updated definition of psychopath
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