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hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 36
Thread images: 29

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hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!
DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!

love and waffles,

t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m
thats the wrong picture for this pasta
is isn't even a good pasta.. Wtf happened to /b/
Stale pasta
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forgive english, i am Russia.

i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss.

We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though.

I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass.
Imagine if op got b& because he said he was 13 in the pasta
damn newfag mods
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"I LOVE SUSHI!" exclaimed the woman in the thick-rimmed glasses.
"Ah, excellent," Kobayashi thought contentedly to himself, "they are enjoying themselves."
"I love Japan, period" said the middle-aged man in the blue shirt, slight southern drawl lending a down-home earthiness to his earnest proclamation.
"Oh my, it is such a joy to have such enthusiastic customers!" Kobayashi said to himself, beaming with pride at the delight he had brought to his customers. It was an idyllic day in Kobayashi's small sushi shop. But, then things took a turn for the worst. "J-ROCK!" screeched a greasy-haired delinquent, quite obviously high on something.
"Oh my, someone should be watching over that poor child," Kobayashi thought to himself. But, before he could finish that thought, a rotund man burst forth from the masses, the make-up on his face still smeared across his fleshy visage.
"GIRUGAMESH!" the horrifying painted man exclaims, stabbing the air vehemtly with two massive, pudgy digits.

"What has begun here is something terrible," Kobayashi thinks to himself, rooted in place by equal parts fear, and morbid fascination.
"I LOVE ANIME!" shrieks a curiously toupee'd customer, the disparity of voice and adornment calling into question the beast's gender. "AND MANGA" yells the man-lady's back-quatto, the horrifying extra upper torso protruding from the hermaphrodite's back, malign intent dancing across his/her eyes. Kobayashi is speechless at the spectacle unfolding before him.
"AND GAYMEN!" an infernal scarecrow man drunkenly spews forth, every diabolical syllable dripping from his tongue an affront to sanity and dignity.
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"Uh...DDR?," says a man quite plainly.
"Finally, a respite from this madness," Kobayashi thought as he heaved a breathless sigh of relief. But what he had seen so far could never prepare him for what came next.
"SMILE D.K." squealed the man's bloated pig-wife, barely managing to stay balanced atop her chair.

As these things happened, a realization dawned on poor, poor Kobayashi. "These people, these DEMONS, have taken all I know and love and made it wrong, corrupted it. I can not, no, I will not sit idly by as these creatures from beyond the veil wreak havoc in my shop!"

"HEYYYYYY!" Kobayashi growls, brandishing his knife like a modern day warrior. "SAKURA-CON HE IKIMAAAAAAAAAASU" he bellows, the traditional war-cry of his family. As Kobayashi leapt over the table, the gathered masses began morphing, face tearing asunder to reveal rows upon rows of sharp teeth, as new musculature rippled forth from beneath their clothes. Many dropped to all fours, revealing their true bestial nature, snarling and snapping their jaws at Kobayashi. Like a true warrior, however, he dove fearlessly into the throes of battle, slicing sinew and bone alike with a precision afforded him by his years of chef training. He laughed maniacally as bucket upon bucket of blood was spilled, the organs and flesh of his former patrons spewing forth like water down a hill. He and his restaurant alike were soon strewn with every type of viscera, and he gave an animalistic howl to the still-rising moon.

Kobayashi goose-stepped over the knee-high pile of cadavers, and, having finally exited the restaurant, he wiped the blood clean from his cleaver and strode off into the horizon. He knew that he had honored his ancestors with this true act of bravery, and helped to rid the world of a grave evil indeed.
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Here. Made it better for you
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Look who it is again, ID Heaven. I'm fed up with your shit faggot. The other day when you called me a newfag, yeah, haven't forgotten about that yet.
Fuck you I've been on here for months and probably get on here more than you anyways. Don't you know that you make yourself look like a newfag when you call others newfag?
Just because you learned how to hack your name and change it to "Heaven" does not give you the right to disrespect anyone at any time.
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This is it boys, I've seen it all. The sucking of a prolapsed anus is the pinnacle of debauchery, it has to be. The thing of it is, I didn't even flinch at seeing it and now I am genuinely curious as to what it would taste like. Who would not rub their pinky around the smoldering and steaming crimson treasure until that little indentation is found where the tongue could most easily rest and find the greatest piquancy of delight? Only this heroine, being a woman incapable of summoning creative energy, did not think to pinch the little apple imitation to see how it molds around the fingers. Who among you gentlemen would not squeeze just until you hear a yelp from its gracious host; the yelp of course would serve as a signal for us to replace our tight clasp with our teeth. From here one may delight with patience for once the prolapsed anus is caught between a man's teeth, there is no rush, no rush at all. From here the sanguine jewel may be spread between the clenched teeth by a gentle movement of the jaws. If one so pleases, one may bite down just hard enough to rupture the prolapsed sanctity and release from it the juices which would render even Bacchus envious. One has to be careful here not to mistake the taste of blood for the splendid, unique flavor of the fruit's substance; once the distinction is made, the tongue can never again know pleasure unless it comes from the innards of a prolapsed anus. Yes my brothers, this is a fine sight but alas, the banality of woman prevents us from truly enjoying it.
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Today, I was lifting an old carpet, as we have a damp problem. Underneath there were hundreds of slugs and worms. My wife and I picked up about 40 slugs and put them in a pair of my wife's panties. I then put the panties on. The feeling was amazing. I got a huge erection and I could feel them sliding over my glans, and round my balls. Eventually I could feel one going up my bum. I knew I would come soon, so I let my wife tie me up, with my hands and feet speadeagled and attached to some furniture. She then took the panties down and about 15 of the slugs were crawling over my cock and balls. I came, spurting out loads of cum all over the poor things, but still couldn't move. My wife then took the other slugs out of the panties and placed them on my cock. She was careful to put some of them right on the opening of my cock, which was now covered in a mixture of sperm and glistening goo from the slugs. She opened up my arse and tried to put one in there too. I got hard again quite quickly as I thought of these slimy little things crawling over me. I imagined them biting me. One seemed to be trying to enter my uretha and this caused me to come again. That was 4 hurs ago. My cock is now very itchy, but I am about to give them another "feed".
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So here I am, sitting on the toilet desperately trying to shit. I had diarrhea and was shitting myself while I slept so I had this brilliant idea to shove some TP up inside my asshole assuming I could easily shit it out. Well, it ain't come out and now I have a slight pain right side near belly button. Any ideas? I shot water up my asshole which seems to barely break anything down. Don't see any shit mixed in though. Drank some milk knowing I can't digest it well hoping that a wave of shit will have enough mass and acceleration to make it through.
When I was 15 I used to take a shit and my dad had been occasionally hanging out around the toilet asking me why I was so silent. First time I didn't respond so he tried to force open the door shouting: "Why are you keeping silence, what's going on there?"

He started swearing and telling me he's gonna knock down the door, also he used to swear when I forgot to flush the toilet, not only after I took a shit, but even right after the shit left my asshole saying that it stank. He used to tell me: "When I just took a shi I always flush it down and you have to do the same!"

One day I was sitting on the toilet and heard that my dad stood right next to the door, so I wipe my ass and got on my knees - there's a chink under the door - so I watch through the chink and see my dad on his knees looking at me through the chink saying: "What's wrong with you? What the hell are you doing there?"

By the way dad always drinks some decoction which makes him take a dump often, like 5 times a day, then he complains his ass is sore and farts. That's fucked up! That's a real story I'm not a troll.
The amount of people that just went "The amount of people that just went >VETTEL proves the predictable, smart ass nature of this board. All of you people try and impress each other with these funny green text comments, from someone who doesn't spend all their life online, it looks ridiculous.Fuck this I'm off, don't wanna waste my life on "addictive and funny" 4chan." proves the predictable, smart ass nature of this board.

All of you people try and impress each other with these funny green text comments, from someone who doesn't spend all their life online, it looks ridiculous.

Fuck this I'm off, don't wanna waste my life on "addictive and funny" 4chan.
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Wos host Du grod von mia gsagt Du gstingada kloana Saugrattler? Du woast fei scho dass I schon aus da Grundi im Hochzug bei de Gebirgsjaga ois Besta aussaganga bin, I war in am Hauffa saugeheime Raffareien mit de Mohammedana und hob über 300 obgraglt, garantiert. I bin a drainierta Untergrundkempfa und I bin da beste Scharfschütz von da ganzn Armee. Du bist nix für mi ois a zui mera, I blos Dir so prazis Dei Liachtal aus wie's die Welt no ned gseng hod, host me? Du glaubst Du kanntst davokemma nachdem Du sowas von mia gsogt host aufm Internet? Da denkst nummoi drüba noch, Oarschgsicht. Grad wie mia redn ruaf I meine Spionage-Spezln im ganzn Bayernland zsam, und dei IP werd grod im moment zruckverfoigt oiso richt Di scho amoi her fürn Sturm, Du Wurm. Der Sturm der wo des kloane Ding ausradiert wos Du rührselig Lebn nennst. Du bist aufgschmissn. Kloana. I kon übaroi sei, ollawei, und i kon de auf mera wia siebnhundad Artn dagragln, und des aloa mit meine Handerln. I bin ned blos gübt im Wirtshausraffa, sondern i hob a an zugriff auf des ganze Arsenal von der freiwillign Feiawehr von Olching und i werd des ois hernemma damit Dei gstingada Hintan vom schena Bayernland runtergspült werd, Du kloana Schoashauffn! Wenn Du gwusst hätts wos Dei kloana "schlauer" Kommentar auf De runterreisst, dann hättst wahrscheinlich Dei voigsoachts Maul ghoidn. Aba Du hosts ned kenna, Du host Dei Mei aufreissn miassn, und jetzt zoist, Du gottverdammta Troddl. I scheiss an Grant üba Dir aus und Du werst drin dasauffa. Du bist komplett hi, Klona.
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Fresh off the boat, from reddit, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You got no reputation here, you got no name, you got jackshit here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on 4chan by saying stupid jokes that your little hugbox cuntsucking reddit friends would upboat. None of that here. You don't upboat. You don't downboat. This ain't reddit, kid. This is 4chan. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to imgur, you daily show watching son of a bitch. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet pop culture reaches. You can be anything here. Me ? heh, I'm a judge.. this place.... this place has a lot to offer... heh you'll see, kid . . . that is if you can handle it.
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Oh, here's Mr. "Big Shot", You think you're cool because you don't use windows. Well want to hear about what I use?

I'll have you know every program I use, from my os, to the drivers, to my internet browser, i program myself by typing 1s and 0s in my text editor (that I made) then just saving the file as .exe.

And the computer I have? Yeah I built that myself too. I don't mean I bought some shit off new egg and threw it together like you did, I made every component personally. I hand made my motherboard using spare coathangers as wireing, and welded them together (soldering is too mainstream.) I handmade all the resistors, capacitors, everything.

I don't even have a hard drive, i just personally memorize all the numbers of my data, and manually input them as numbers into my computer whenever I want to access it. The keyboard I use is actually just 2 buttons, for binary. I don't need the crutch of having more than 2 unique characters for input.

So think about that next time you feel special.
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I saw Richard Stallman at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
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Hearing the difference now isn’t the reason to encode to FLAC. FLAC uses lossless compression, while MP3 is ‘lossy’. What this means is that for each year the MP3 sits on your hard drive, it will lose roughly 12kbps, assuming you have SATA – it’s about 15kbps on IDE, but only 7kbps on SCSI, due to rotational velocidensity. You don’t want to know how much worse it is on CD-ROM or other optical media.

I started collecting MP3s in about 2001, and if I try to play any of the tracks I downloaded back then, even the stuff I grabbed at 320kbps, they just sound like crap. The bass is terrible, the midrange…well don’t get me started. Some of those albums have degraded down to 32 or even 16kbps. FLAC rips from the same period still sound great, even if they weren’t stored correctly, in a cool, dry place. Seriously, stick to FLAC, you may not be able to hear the difference now, but in a year or two, you’ll be glad you did.
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I sexually Identify as an "SS-18 Satan" Intercontinental Ballistic Missile. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the Atlantic ocean ready to release my destructive cargo on filthy commies'. People say to me that a person being a weapon of mass destruction is Impossible and I'm -blam!-ing retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having ex--godwinslaw!- scientists install tungsten plating, 3 stage rockets and a Nuclear warhead on my body. From now on I want people to refer to me as "ICBM" and "WMD" as my preferred pronouns and respect my right to wipe entire cities and cultures from the face of the Earth. If you can't accept me you're Hippy-Trash and need to check your rocket privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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Yo fam im new!!!!!!! holds up mixtape my name is Daquan but u can call me t3h N1GgA oF d00m!!!!!!!! bruh…as u can see im a real savage. thats why i came here, 2 meet % no chill ppl like me… im 16 years old (i got first hand street experience tho!!) i like 2 Netflix n chill w/ my sidepiece (cuz you know this ain't my main one, smdh) bcuz da pussy is straight fire!!!! shes savage 2 of course but i want 2 meet more savage ppl =) like they say the more lit the squad the more lit the pussy!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make a big squad here so give me lots of retweets!!!! WHYTHISNIGGADRAKELOOKLIKEASAUDIWARLORD?????!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein savage again _^ hehe…stay real fam!!! ! !
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I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you’re referring to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I’ve recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX.
Many computer users run a modified version of the GNU system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of GNU which is widely used today is often called “Linux”, and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the GNU system, developed by the GNU Project. There really is a Linux, and these people are using it, but it is just a part of the system they use.
Linux is the kernel: the program in the system that allocates the machine’s resources to the other programs that you run. The kernel is an essential part of an operating system, but useless by itself; it can only function in the context of a complete operating system. Linux is normally used in combination with the GNU operating system: the whole system is basically GNU with Linux added, or GNU/Linux. All the so-called “Linux” distributions are really distributions of GNU/Linux.
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Here's the thing. You said a "pupper is a doggo."
Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that.
As someone who is a scientist who studies puppers, doggos, yappers, and even woofers, I am telling you, specifically, in doggology, no one calls puppers doggos. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing.
If you're saying "doggo family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Doggodaemous, which includes things from sub woofers to birdos to sharkos (the glub glub kind not the bork bork kind).
So your reasoning for calling a pupper a doggo is because random people "call the small yip yip ones doggos?" Let's get penguos and turkos in there, then, too.
Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A pupper is a pupper and a member of the doggo family. But that's not what you said. You said a pupper is a doggo, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the doggo family doggos, which means you'd call piggos, sluggos, and other species doggos, too. Which you said you don't.
It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
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I went to McDonald's yesterday and got a Filet-O-Fish combo and a Jalapeño Double. I was eating it in my vehicle in the parking lot and listening to an audio book when I glanced up and saw the McDonald's worker I ordered from was outside having a cigarette.

She waved at me and I nodded and had to wait 7 minutes before she went back inside and I could eat in comfort again. I don't think that employees should be bothering or even trying to socialize with customers outside of the McDonald's restaurant or drive through, but that is another story.

I went to McDonald's for dinner last night and got a Big Mac combo and a 10 piece Chicken McNuggets with barbecue dipping sauce. As I was driving to the second window the same girl was still working. She was acting somewhat obsequious and attempting small talk when she asked, 'why don't you come eat inside instead of in the parking lot'.

That really bothered me for many reasons. First of all, I don't want my routine or actions to be tracked by a fast food employee. Secondly, she should not try to tell me how I should live my life. I do not want to eat inside because I find it less comfortable and would much rather be inside my vehicle listening to an audiobook and enjoying myself and my privacy.

Overall, I think it was very unprofessional to bring this up. I should have a clean slate with each drive through visit, not have to get the third degree because I committed some sort of faux pas. Which I don't think I did, because I often see people eating in fast food parking lots. How does she know I am not busy going to work or somewhere in a rush?

How do you feel about eating in your vehicle in the parking lot of a fast food restaurant versus eating inside the restaurant?
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>everyone is out of town for the weekend
>have mdma and viagra stashed away
>ultimate fap weekend is a go
>pills kicking in, things are feeling good
>want to grind my dick on something soft, wander into sisters closet
>she a huge raver so costumes and fun fur is everywhere
>start rubbing cock on a fluffy legwarmer
>something inside me snaps, and i see a pair of her nylons
>start putting them on, holy christ it feels good
>pills hitting hard now, eyes are rolling
>put on panties, then pair of big fur boots, dick rock hard
>grab a corset and start squeezing myself in, every time i pull the strings to make it tighter i feel like cumming
>put on a fun fur jacket over it, then a poofy tutu
>oh god we arent done yet, she has wigs
>big sparkling pink wig goes on, i start playing with makeup and cake it on my face
>dick is dripping through the panties, im swishing around in her raver costume now and dancing
>she has a big fur hood, thats what i need to complete everything
>oh ho, whats this, a pair of handcuffs under everything, sis is into bondage
>without thinking i snap them on my wrists behind my back and start bouncing around, the drugs practically have me cuming as i feel the furry outfit squishing all around me
>trip and fall down, core strength is weak and the corset is tight, can barely move
>try to get up, its not happening
>fun fur and wig blinding me, cant shake them off
>terror strikes me just as the drugs start peaking
>oh fuck it, start grinding against one of the legwarmers on the ground
>within a minute i have a mind shattering orgasm and scream like im being sent to auschwitz
>sudden commotion downstairs
>oh shit
>someones home
>im high as fuck
>im in a fur raver costume
>feet coming up the stairs
>rolling frantically off legwarmer, huge cumstain leaking out from panties onto floor
>door opens
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>be me
>10 year old
>in school, math class
>got pretty good grades around those days
>hot teacher tells me to sit with the "cool kid"
>he's pretty fucking bad at maths
>i'm kind of friend with him (he is a very close friend to my best friend) so I agree
>several minutes pass, bell is about to ring, class is about to end
>sitting in front row
>he stops writing
>he looks at me
>he opens his mouth
>"How long is your dick anon?"
When I was a kid I was very shameful about sex and stuff, so I didn't really liked to talk about it. Probably it was because my granpa once told me "if you masturbate when you're a kid, you will be short and bald when you grow up". That shit fucking scared me.
>i stare at him confused af
>bell rings, break time
>i didn't hang with him until the next class
>fucking art
>i fucking hate this teacher and I can't remember why
>we can sit on groups of 4-6 if we want
>sit with best friend and another three friends
>one of them calls the cool kid and invites him to sit with us
>let's call the cool kid Luke
>Luke joins
>we're just drawing with crayons like a bunch of faggots when the teacher leaves
>Kids running all over the place
>one of them fell and broke his elbow
>fucking faggot didn't even know how to run
>the only Kids who are not running/fucking around are us, we're just talking
>eventually Luke broughts it up
>"Hey guys, how long are your dicks?"
>they answer in a very natural way: "I don't know, like 7cm?", "Probably 6cm or so when hard" and things like that
>boys around that age have small dicks you know, so did I
>then he asks me "how long anon?"
>"I don't know m8, I'll surely check that out today"
>Luke starts laughing
>we're all confused
>"You small dicked faggots haha I bet you can't even cum!"
>then he starts telling us all of these fake-ass sex stories
>I call it bullshit but play along
>ffw to late evening
>ruler in left hand, dick in the right hand
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Praise kek is an anagram for Rape kikes



ヽ( ・ω・)ノ

<コ:3ミ <コ:3彡

( ´θ`)ノ






( ´_ゝ`)




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I've done similar things (Even SUCH same) and Nothing happened , ONLY as long hair warmed WILL UNTIL hot, then I tipped it to cool , the spots on the IHS is already let se peace can convert point and remove (point and press the cooling or rewritten. . of course it comes to lowering , because by IHS joke Cooling above and is suitable pressure aimlessly you've got to play lightly : . D) how to do something that I'm Polish and I explained everything on the Pen
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I'm a 40 year old homosexual and i've been happily married for 5 years now to my (thai) husband, ya i know i'm a total ricequeen lol :-D and i'm just sooooo happy to see you guys all in to M2F that much! it just goes to show you that our church's agenda is working.
i hate to say it but i just don't like women they are disgusting in how they treat their man and i think you are all just way better off boys with each other. and if he dresses up as a beautiful girl for you and its working hey never change a winning team. and WE ARE THE WINNING TEAM!!! CLEARLY! GAY PRIDE
PS I love that trap thing you guys have going here my husband and I love it!!
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Funny I was a virgin until 3 weeks ago. Made a tinder, posted good face pic and me dancing, I'm 300 ponds by the way. Anyways spent 10 bucks on unlined swipes and went 2 town on that shit. Matched with a 21 year old chick weigh about 130 a solid 6 out of 10 pushing 7 anyways I nervous as fuck go to town doing foreplay ect... ( Ps: I learnt how to tell when a girl is asking 4 it with their body language it's weird it's like she sends a signal and u just pick it up like tome freezes) anyways foreplay and shit start kissing my way down 2 her vjj Jesus Christmas it smelled she might have had a yeast infection. Anyways lost my boner so I figure her end up making her squint 4 times by then my dick is responsive again but still half Chung (5 inches by the way) so she blows me for like 15 minutes until I get hard she slaps the condom on and rides me. Anyways my point is expectations vs reality is world's apart and try tinder and just like everything. My first text 2 her was Netflix and chill cause in my bio I has Netflix and chill.
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Too drunk I'm done spamming pasta. You guys take over.
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