[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | | Home]

OUTRAGEOUS CLAIMS!! March 23, 2017

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 306
Thread images: 54

File: claims.jpg (101KB, 1152x800px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
claims.jpg
101KB, 1152x800px
OUTRAGEOUS CLAIMS!!

March 23, 2017

Let's go, things can be subtle, as long as they're true and interesting.

I collect claims people have made in these threads over the years....at least photos associate with those claims.
>>
File: 1368338310135.jpg (401KB, 1549x1037px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1368338310135.jpg
401KB, 1549x1037px
there was the anon who worked on a charter yacht, and got to fuck Memphis Monroe and some other porn star one night.

he delivered pics.
>>
File: 1369453748498.jpg (74KB, 768x1024px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1369453748498.jpg
74KB, 768x1024px
there was the anon whose father played for the 1994 Stanley Cup champion New York Rangers.....
>>
File: oscar timestampe.jpg (168KB, 459x612px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
oscar timestampe.jpg
168KB, 459x612px
yeah, the oscar winner posting was pretty interesting.

we believe it was an animated pixar producer.
>>
>>726641374
No proof but I am a high ranking police officer and use my position to fuck young women 18-25 and make sure my officers don't go to court so the charges have to be dropped.
>>
>>726642624
but are those two things related? or its just two shady things you do?
>>
IM NOT A FAGGOT.
>>
I have $3.5 million dollars net worth, self-made from selling my software company, with about $2 million of it liquid investments in my brokerage accounts. I make or lose about $20K a day in the markets and don't give a fuck.
>>
>>726641374
I have never had an orgasm during intercourse because my circumcision left me too insensitive to.
>>
I am the current President of the United States of America.
>>
>>726642059
Did he only have the ring? cause you can buy every Stanley Cup winners replica ring on ebay
>>
I've had sex
>>
ITT claims about people other than themselves
>>
>>726642760
I get to fuck them because I make sure the charges get dropped. I usually try this only on collage students who wan to avoid getting thier records fucked up.
>>
>>726643022
Hi Donald
>>
File: 1370233440403.jpg (80KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1370233440403.jpg
80KB, 1024x768px
>>726643038
no posted all kinds of personal shit that was above and beyond what a fan could get.
>>
>>726643022
Oh its good to see that Mr. Trump is a /b/tard like the rest of us.
>>
>>726643022
Hey Don! Whasssup? Build the Wall, man!
>>
I have never had sex
>>
>>726642834
Hook me up with some cash via PayPal
>>
I commit fraud at an insurance company together with the CEO
>>
>>726643022
>>726643311
Was there EVER any doubt Don was a /b/tard?
>ONE OF US
>ONE OF US
>>
>>726641374
My sister passed up the opportunity to play on the US women's Olympic Soccer team so she could roady for Rod Stewart. I think she made the right choice.
>>
File: Paris.png (852KB, 631x894px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Paris.png
852KB, 631x894px
fucked her in a club 7~ years ago
>>
>>726643311
That would be so cool. POTUS cruising /b/ when the wife is in NYC and he's tired of fucking with the Libertards... Rock on, Funky Bro!
>>
I once defeated an aimbotter in Halo 1 on the PC, 1v1.
>Snipers
>No shields
>Blood Gulch
>25 points to win
>>
File: gold medalx.jpg (883KB, 1936x2592px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
gold medalx.jpg
883KB, 1936x2592px
then there's the time the anon timestamped his olympic gold medal.

he was a swimmer who competed in early heats, but still gets to share in the medal. I won't name him out of respect, but it was damn cool he actually delivered.
>>
I'm a normie
>>
>>726643431
I also look at people like you begging for $50 or $100 and just can't relate, so I ignore it.
>>
>>726643513
I think we'd have a shorter read listing the people who've NOT fucked her.
>>
I have sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.
>>
>>726643513
Was it worth the herpes ?
>>
>>726643226
Hi!
>>726643323
Very soon, friend.
>>726643311
More than just /b/!
>>
>>726643513
Was it as skanky as I imagine it?
>>
>>726643298
Wow that's actually really cool

>Fuck the Rangers tho
>>
File: uC6nYNm.gif (291KB, 500x225px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
uC6nYNm.gif
291KB, 500x225px
>>726642834
i challenge you to simply post a screengrab of your accounts. you can censor anything you'd like....i just would like to see some proof
>>
>>726642624
what charges? 18 is legal everywhere
>>
I live in same house with OP
>>
I have currently 2 girlfriends. One knows of the other´s existence, but doesn´t know I am basically a boyfriend to both of them.

The second one has no idea about the first, is kinda religious, is very in love with me and would be incredibly hurt if she knew about the first one.
>>
>>726641374
I hang out with the most annoying fuck on the planet because he makes dank beats.
>>
>>726643672
You're a monster.
>>
File: rangers ring.jpg (109KB, 768x1024px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
rangers ring.jpg
109KB, 768x1024px
>>726643736
even timestamped the Key to the City of New York.
>>
>>726643700
is this the real man?
>>
>>726643621
Yeah okay sure
>>
>>726642827
outrageous, unbelievable!
>>
Poor whites do more crime than rich blacks
>>
File: GoatofMendes.jpg (230KB, 480x784px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
GoatofMendes.jpg
230KB, 480x784px
I am satan and you are my personal hell.
>>
>>726643700
Hello Mr. President.
I hope you are well and just wanna ask you: Why haven´t you nuked the Cube yet?
>>
>>726643022
Good luck and godspeed. Been calling you President Trump since you started running. Cant say I'm a total supporter. But I'll be damned if I don't think you can get shit done.
>>
>>726643643
Well let's start with you. Have you fucked her?
>>
>>726643700
Hey, Mr. President, If Obama had you tapped, why not release the documents on /b/? That would let the media know YDGAF. When that terrorist ran over people yesterday, I didn't go to CNN or Fox, I came to /b/ because (believe it or not) the most accurate info was being posted here. Crazy.
>>
I was on a school field trip for our gifted class and got to watch the shuttle Challenger explosion from the Kennedy Space Center launch viewing area.
>>
>>726643621
I didn't give you a dollar amount though
>>
>>726641374
I exercise.
>>
File: rockefeller2.png (119KB, 1075x390px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
rockefeller2.png
119KB, 1075x390px
I stalked this guy and felt kinda bad about it because he deleted his shit as soon as i realized who it was.

his uncle died last week too.
>>
File: winni.jpg (153KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
winni.jpg
153KB, 1920x1080px
>>726643721
naw she is pretty cool and pussy is actually nice. She was high on something(MDMA?) and when she came her pussy was massaging my dick bigly
>>726643676
No herps
>>726643643
These days she is pretty smart and making bank selling perfume or some shit to skanks
7 years ago? Towns bike
>>
>>726644083
I call bullshit.
>>
>>726643905
Did he give out the actual name of his Dad? or at least position
>>
>>726642974
Awesome. I'm glad my government allows that to happen
>>
A long time ago I fucked Salma Hayek between two cars in the club parking lot.
>>
>>726644030
Sadly, yes. Worst sex I've ever had.
>>
>>726643813
>>Young girl 18-25 gets charged
>>Make a tacit agreement that if we fuck I will make sure charges get dropped
>>Hit that raw, always pull out
>>Make sure officer is not available for court
>>
File: rangers jersey edit.jpg (443KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
rangers jersey edit.jpg
443KB, 1024x768px
>>726644194
nope....posted the jersey pic but from the front.
>>
>>726644060
Damn, dude. You saw Jet Fuel melt Steel Beams for real.
>>
>>726643913
No.
>>
>>726644114
So a Rothschild?
>>
>>726644247
You are my Hero.
>>
>>726644292
you know with some real autism we might be able to narrow that down...
>>
My dad actually works at Nintendo.
>>
>>726644444
>>
>>726644064
But that's what you were thinking.
>>
>>726644276
damn I wish I had that option when I got arrested. Are you attractive at least or are you ancient?
>>
>>726644294
It was one of those situations where we couldn't really SEE much (the pictures I've seen must have been really zoomed in), but we could tell from the KSC staff's reaction that some shit had gone seriously wrong.
>>
>>726644441
you were this close anon
>>
>>726644366
filename!
>>
>>726644458
Shigeru-san?
>>
I jerk off at work everyday.
>>
>>726641374
Back in highschool I used to fuck my mom until my older brother caught us.
>>
>>726644548
38 year old about 20 pounds overweight
regular looks. 20 years on the force.
Get lots of action in the weeks after spring break due to marijuana being a felony here
>>
>>726643022
proof faggot
>>
>>726644550
Seriously a drag tho. Obama killed the Space Shuttle too. So now we get to give ol' Vlad all our money to launch astronauts. Good going, Barry...
>>
I'm a sociopath and have eventually pushed away nearly everyone I was close to
no pic to support
>>
>>726644292
>>726644441
>>726644606
http://www.hockey-reference.com/teams/NYR/1994.html#all_roster

anon said that he had played some hockey on a decent level, and also referred to dad golfing a lot in South Carolina in recent years
>>
>>726644606
Fak, oh well, time to wait for the next 11,111 post to roll by...
>>
>>726644704
Wow, what a coincidence... kek
>>
>>726644114
O shit nigger he's a Rockefeller ain't he
>>
/b/ isn't actually horrible tonight and there is enough humor to keep me coming back for the next few weeks outta shear hope we killed cancer with cancer.
>>
>>726644784
IKTF /b/ro.
Nobody to talk to, cause can't into phony shit anymore.
>>
File: zuck.png (618KB, 1425x696px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
zuck.png
618KB, 1425x696px
>>726645000
the exif data led to Mark Zuckerberg's address.
>>
>>726645000
Zuckerberg can suck it. Facebook is one of the worst things to ever grace the internet.
>>
>>726644911
How so?
>>
>>726644951
Yeah, the kids must be back in the basement playing TF2... kek
>>
>>726643904
>>726643672
i hate this meem so much
worst thing 4Chan does, by far
>>
>>726645190
Man, he's the kind of guy who takes photos with his iPad. Explains a lot.
>>
File: MissionaryPosition.jpg (37KB, 586x316px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
MissionaryPosition.jpg
37KB, 586x316px
>>726645248
Fuck you, Hitler.
>>
>>726645215
I was leading you to the statement that "I used to fuck your mom too, until your brother caught us..."

Joke sucks when you gotta explain it.
>>
>>726643672
Bullshit.
>>
>>726645097
that reminds me -
why weren't the 15 jews worried when they all had to fit into a tiny rowboat that seats 3?

because jews don't tip
>>
>>726641908
Is there a set?
>>
>>726644292
>>726644441
Well we can eliminate him being a Captain, Alternate Captain, or Goalie
>>
>>726645097
Most unbelievable post in the thread.
>>
>>726645329
Zuckerberg is such an Autistic Cancer Faggot. I'll bet the Winklevoss's wish they were back in college beating his lame ass all over campus...

Seriously, I know dudes like "Zuck" - faggots that take your money and ideas and try to profit on them themselves. Fuck Him.
>>
this is 100% true.....

i once found this gargoyle in an empty NYC subway station at 2 am.

It weighed 50 lbs or else I would have taken it with me.

i still wonder if its worth something, or if it was stolen.

hell, in that moment, when you see that package in an empty subway station, it looks like a bomb
>>
>>726645723
Jew here. I know a lot of them myself. I tend to run into them at Family Reunions.

Not a self-hating Jew, but a lot of the stereotypes are accurate. I can't count how many people in my family are in the finance market and pull some really dodgy deals.
>>
File: 1368338428915.jpg (274KB, 1162x778px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1368338428915.jpg
274KB, 1162x778px
>>726645615
only like 4 or five pics.

anon gave out too much trackable info about his yacht and could have easily gotten doxed and fired.
>>
File: 1368338062595.jpg (746KB, 1936x1296px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1368338062595.jpg
746KB, 1936x1296px
>>726646169
>>
I stabbed Sean Bean in the arm in a barfight.
>>
>>726645097
I'm also Jewish and I regularly tip over 20% because I've worked a tip-based job and it's hell.

Catholics, in my experience, are the cheapest fucking people. I regularly donate to charity and tip well and lend friends cash or food without asking anything in return. Catholics I've met/delivered food to laugh at the concept of leaving any money for a waiter.
>>
>>726646208
>>
>>726646169
>>726646208
Tyvm anon
>>
>>726646266
>>
>>726644615
Ah shit didnt notice.
>>
>>726646266
so wait. who's taking the pictures?

And what a pain in the ass that must have been for the girls. I work in IT and I hate it when people ask me to do work on their computers. Nothing worse than having to do your job for free outside of work.
>>
>>726646152
Doesn't have anything to do with being Jewish, a cunt is a cunt. I understand competition and all, you gotta provide for your family, but Zuckerberg got HIRED to create something, and then stole the idea and claimed he "created" it. What an asshole. Ass Cancer would be too good for him.
>>
these threads are often ruined by the cancerous "Taylor Swift lurks /b/" meme. I'm responsible for that. and i'm a neckbeard. I did it for two years, but the fun of it was to drop hints without making any reference to Taylor. it was all about subtlety.

but once reddit got a hold of someone's screenshot collage of the clues, the meme blew up and became cancerous.

immediately i stopped impersonating her, and in came the shitty copycats who didn't understand subtlety.

I apologize
>>
>>726644292
Kypreos?
>>
>>726646534
anon worked on a charter yacht.....him and two or three other guys and a captain. none of them owned the yacht. so its a situation where they would be able to do debauched shit if they had some time to themselves. apparently the captain met the porn stars somewhere and got them drugs or drinks and invited them onboard.
>>
>>726646719
Post said screenshot collage because I have no idea what the fuck you are talking about other than that cunt's cat being named.
>>
File: anon_t_swift_4chan.jpg (635KB, 2029x2421px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
anon_t_swift_4chan.jpg
635KB, 2029x2421px
>>726646936
all of these except for the autistic webcam story on the bottom left are from me.

i was always trying to be subtle.
>>
>>726646719
It's ok, Tay-Tay. Make sure to send the nude Snaps to me: hotdaddy4u We'll keep it our little secret...
>>
>>726647155
i'm telling you, you've never been creeped out until you've found yourself in a world where people think you're taylor swift.

look at this twitter.

twitter
.com/seraphimsun/with_replies
>>
>>726647116
very well done anon, Please keep doing what you do just find some new person to be. You keep /b/ interesting in a way.

+ 1 internet for you.
>>
File: IMG_1396.jpg (2MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
IMG_1396.jpg
2MB, 3264x2448px
I've spent easily over 100k on escorts and brothel girls over the past few years, including several European pornstars.

Pic related is for my trip next week.
>>
>>726641374
In 2002, I drove a red, 1999 corvette into the center area of a woman's prison to work on a project for the state. I am not ugly. The car was not ugly. No matter how hard you try, you can NOT imagine the amount and volume of the sucking sounds that were coming from the surrounding buildings. I told a bulldyke guard to pound sand when she asked for the keys to the car...lol
>>
File: incisionupdate.png (551KB, 718x517px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
incisionupdate.png
551KB, 718x517px
>>726641374
I literally have half a brain
>>
>>726643551
Special Olympics
>>
>>726647412
I can't. I've come face-to-face with delusional nutballs and it has taken away my desire to play to that human instinct.

i've seen too much desperation up close.
>>
File: image (1) copy.jpg (2MB, 2592x1936px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
image (1) copy.jpg
2MB, 2592x1936px
>>726647705
>>
File: RegretNothing.jpg (48KB, 620x436px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
RegretNothing.jpg
48KB, 620x436px
My dad's an oncologist and his job will fly him all the fuck over just to have meetings in San Francisco or New York or whatever.

So one day i invite him to my home while I was BBQing and I had Top Gear on the tv. He asked who the tall one was (Jeremy Clarkson) and told me he had a conversation with him at a pub in Essex after some conference he attended.

Apparently he had no idea who he was and he just started shootin the shit with him to pass the time.

They talked about guitars and classic rock.
>>
File: 1464377283017.gif (358KB, 500x281px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1464377283017.gif
358KB, 500x281px
>>726647758
Fair enough, either way thank you for being creative, I hope you can find something else to fill your time and creativity.
>>
>>726647953
Clarkson probably appreciated a stranger NOT talking about cars
>>
I was raped by Bugs Bunny under the Log Flume at Six Flags.

He's a lot bigger in person.
>>
>>726643621
I sincerely have a business idea that i'd love to pitch to you. No strings and not a scam or anything, would still love 10 mins of your time.
>>
OP here I'm not a faggot
>>
>>726643525
>on
Dude, nice. I have too, but it wasn't 1v1, just a regular game. Used to have some of the vid on my xfire account. Good times.
>>
File: 1488431265953.jpg (258KB, 815x734px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1488431265953.jpg
258KB, 815x734px
>>726644292
Played Golf in South Carolina, not a massively popular player, not a Captain, Goalie, or Alternate Captain, decent level of hockey played, Facebook shows he has a son.

Has to be Darren Turcotte, and vaguley seeing some letters on the back trhough mesh I can almost match it up with his replicas for sale.
>>
>>726648649
you know this nigga is serious when he mentions his XFIRE account LOL
>>
File: 1486760137786.jpg (98KB, 640x634px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1486760137786.jpg
98KB, 640x634px
I AM LORD KEK
>>
File: 1469059029227.jpg (78KB, 500x500px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1469059029227.jpg
78KB, 500x500px
>>726648139
I did ask him "Did he talk about cars?" and "Did you see what he was driving?"

Dad's answers were "No." and "Yes, but I don't know what kind of car it was." respectively.

Not sure why but those answers made me laugh.
>>
>>726648827
Any pictures of the home we can match background wise or style at least?
or perhaps the EXIF file?
>>
>>726643022
Wall or GTFO
>>
Once was getting head from 19yr old step daughter and almost got caught when wife arrived home early one morning. Thank kek for table cloths
>>
>>726644294

Hydrazine gives astronaughts dreams
>>
File: Autism_image_puzzle.png (166KB, 1000x1267px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Autism_image_puzzle.png
166KB, 1000x1267px
>>726648827
thanks
>>
>>726645000

I have a bunch of $100s in my desk too
>>
>>726641374
I've won a Nobel Prize.
>>
>>726641374
I once tried to write a song for Green Day when I was in high school. I sent them a letter and everything, told them i don't want money and that they should keep rocking.

They came to town four months later, I went to concert, and in between Dookie and Saint Jimmy while performing random covers of classic rock songs, Billie Joe said he was going to try 'something they were working on' and played a song i didn't recognize, but the lyrics were my lyrics.

It wasn't how i imagined the song should sound, and the crowd half-heartedly cheered for it, and I've never heard of them doing it again.

Close, but no cigar? Or did they think I would be at the show and just thought it would be cool to do it hoping i was there? I'll never know i guess...
>>
>>726647618
what happened ?
>>
>>726643022

How many teen girls have you and Epstein power-boned?
>>
>>726649947
that feels bittersweetly credible.
>>
>>726650103
sameanon again, on my honor as a United States Submariner this is a true story.
>>
>>726649102
Going just from what I can find i'm not seeing any photos of the home in the pics anon has, and he has also moved a lot since then to coach inline teams and peewee hockey kids
>>
>>726650400
>United States Submariner
that's delicious
>>
>>726649843
pic with timestamp
>>
>>726644292
jesus christ, so much doubt about something so dumb. "Err, my Dad was a professional athlete guys...durr" Give it a rest, faggots
>>
>>726650768
for what it's worth, the 1994 NYR team was a pretty big deal for hockey fans. they broke a 54 year "curse"
>>
>>726641374
I'm watching you through the window.
>>
I lost my virginity at age 39.
>>
File: 146995054961456.jpg (63KB, 250x323px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
146995054961456.jpg
63KB, 250x323px
In 2005 I drove my old Tacoma through a guy's house.

Not into, THROUGH.

I fell asleep driving home from San Antonio, Houstonfag here, went off the road, cleared someone's yard and blasted right the fuck through his porch and into his living room. Woke up, panicked, floored it through the sliding glass doors in the back, hopped on the semi-circle driveway and hauled ass for a good 2 miles on 3 flat tires.
Thankfully there were no cars in the driveway so i assume no one was home. Can't remember the extent of the damage or how much it cost to repair it, but shortly after that i just bought a new car and put the truck out to pasture.

I'll tell ya this much though, a few miles and 3 new tires later I got to thinking about this family coming home to a fucking truck sized hole in their house and started laughing so frantically i had to pull over.
>>
>>726650960
Yeah, I know. I'm a hockey fan. And if it were Messier himself then you might have something. But who gives a shit what some kid posts about his Dad?
>>
>>726651404
OP here.....I actually think the Olympic gold medla and Oscar are the most interesting things in this thread.

>>726642156
>>
I touched a boob once.
>>
>snuck out of my house at 3AM back when I was in 8th grade
>I was playing FABLE and my Xbox controller was running out of batteries
>dug through my savings and had hundreds of pennies
>sprinted 2 blocks to the local Walmart just to buy some Rayovacs and payed in pennies
>fucking AAA
>>
>>726641374
After struggling with competition for two years I finally have my dream job of making and selling dragon dildos for a living.
>>
>>726641374
I hit kaepernick in the balls during P.E. class in high school.
It was an accident but he deserved it.
>>
>>726649947
nice pasta
>>
I can insert moderately large objects up my butt.
>>
File: McPick.jpg (14KB, 190x224px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
McPick.jpg
14KB, 190x224px
>>726641374
If you was cash you would be fat stacks
If you was pork you would be fat back
If u was drug you'd be best crack
If u was a dick I would suck it.
Clean it up with a bucket
Feed it some chicken nuggets
Don't know where I'm going but fuck it
If you was beer I would chug it
If u was rats I would rug it
I you was o'war I would tug it
If u was a tree I would hug it.
>>
File: amazingcock3.jpg (198KB, 600x800px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
amazingcock3.jpg
198KB, 600x800px
>>726652229
how moderate?
and could you maybe show me your butt with timestamp thx
>>
I came in 2nd place in the 2014 Berlin inline skating marathon
>>
>>726651137
holy fuck i can't stop laughing
>>
>>726646237
hai there
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2003338/Sean-Bean-stabbed-arm-following-row-glamour-model-April-Summers.html
>>
>>726646324
>>726646266
>>726646208
>>726646169
They are both total butterfaces
Also fucking a porn star just seems like a bad idea/great way to get HIV or Herpes
>>
>>726643992
So...how's third grade going, chap?
>>
>>726644276
Post stories
>>
>>726652104
No. Just sat and tuped this up.
>>
>>726647492
Gimme a bitcoin nigga. I wanna save up bitcoins and buy myself a mail order bride.
>>
File: 1490055936909.jpg (12KB, 306x335px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1490055936909.jpg
12KB, 306x335px
>>726654288
then it's the sweetest thing
>>
>>726649892
Proof of some kind pls.
>>
File: IMG_0013.jpg (43KB, 800x175px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
IMG_0013.jpg
43KB, 800x175px
>>726641374
>have an IQ of 142
>have read 500+ full length books
>can't FUCKING PASS ALGEBRA 2 FUCK
>pic related
>>
OP here. i am out. carry on if you wish.

thanks for the tales
>>
>>726649947
We knew you would be there and wanted to make a *special* kid happy. You welcome anon.
>>
>>726651137
A truck wouldn't keep running after smashing through a concrete porch. or a house at high speed. Nice story though. maybe next time figure out something more believable than "i got three new tires magically" though. Also replying to yourself with "I can't stop laughing" is fucking sad.
>>
>>726654682
aren't you embarrassed posting that score here?
150+ master race here (158)
>>
>>726652007
lmao
man that would seem like a crazy awesome adventure at that age. That's a cool story anon.
>>
>>726641374
I took a persons life before i could legally drink.
Sometimes i wake up with sleep paralysis and i see him lying next to me. Now that i think of it its kind of like how William Wallaces father is lying next to him in braveheart. only the man doesn't speak, he just lies there and looks at me with fear in his eyes. Ive tried explaining to psychologists, friends, family. but ive had the easiest time just speaking my mind on 4chan. Only real place where i can dump everything without being judged. other than being called a faggot of course.
>>
File: Dr.pepe.gif (15KB, 343x338px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Dr.pepe.gif
15KB, 343x338px
>>726654682
This isn't coming out of a place of envy or spite or anything like that, I'm admittedly probably dumb as fuck, but does IQ have any kind of purposeful meaning?

More often than not I'll see someone whip out their IQ to prove how smart they are, but is there anything it's actually measuring?

Can you lift a car with your mind or something?
>>
>>726654221
Nothing exciting.
Usually I just see the guys bring in a young girl who is crying
As the Station commander I get her taken to my office where I say I am interviewing them for any problems or wrongdoing.
If I think they are good candidates I explain what happens if the officer does not get to court on time and the 60 day period after filing charges goes by without an appearance by the officer.
Then I tell them I control his work schedule and sometimes have to give them shifts that make it impossible for courts appearances. I make sure that they make the offer and usually call them later that day so we can meet and talk.
Usually end up fucking them in a cheap by the hour motel or in there apartment if they have one.
>>
>>726655461
whatever faggot.
Also thanks, now i'm going to have a new kind of nightmare. fuck why do i come here before bed.
>>
>>726655249
Good for you! (fr)
Have you done anything special with your gift, or are you planning to?
>>
I operate a nuclear reactor.
>>
>>726654682
Are you me?
>>
>>726641374
i mentally projected the deaths of three people, all in different specific circumstances, all coming true within 18 months.
>>
>>726655709
jameson helps with some of the nightmares, might work for you. I guess thats a pro-tip
>>
>>726655565
It's how well and fast you can learn things afaik
I guess you really have to put effort into shit :/
I'm severely depressed and suicidal, so I just kinda gave up on everything at this point :(
>>
>>726655203
1. Porch was wooden and apparently already deteriorated as Hell judging by the bits i found in the bed.

2. There are a metric fuck ton of Ma n' Pa used tire shops in the rural area outside of Houston

3. I can screenshot that dude's post to prove it wasn't me if you want, my guy.

No need to get all pissy.
>>
>>726655813
Lolwut
>>
>>726655727
i wanted to be a physicist but FUCK ME EVERYONE IN THIS FIELD HAS AN IQ OF 175+ AND I CANT COMPETE
>>
>>726655461
obviously your brain is telling you the guilt of your actions is weighing you down.

when your alone at night, before bed, try verbally apologising for what you did.

i can garentee it will stop.
>>
>>726655796
Pics
>>
>>726656257
Uhh I thought you can only get an IQ of 162 (perfect score)
>>
>>726656080
Knowing all that I'm not sure why you'd trot out a high IQ considering it doesn't amount to shit.
>>
>>726656193
IQ 164 but couldn't pass college level Algebra and gave up on getting a degree. Now I work as a janitor because I don't have the confidence to do anything else and get stressed easy.
>>
>>726655249
"master race"

clearly you have a long way to go in terms of ego.
>>
File: 20170323_211258.png (2MB, 1243x1560px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
20170323_211258.png
2MB, 1243x1560px
>>726644152
Huzzah! Proof!
>>
>>726656275
Haven't really got any good ones that wouldn't identify the plant. Last thing I want is to get doxxed and get shit canned. I will say that we all take pics of shit we're not allowed to.
>>
I got a 1600 on an SAT
I can provide proof if anybody is interested I'm not right now because I would have to get out of bed
>>
>>726656434
I literally just told you what it amounts to.
The only person smarter than me in my entire grade is some fucking freak of nature genius who's taking highschool in 7th grade
>>
>>726649994
he became a frequent /pol/ goer
>>
I can touch my toes and get dubs on command, check em'
>>
I have an IQ of 146 but I work a low paying job and barely do anything with my life.


As an added note, I don't believe that a high IQ score makes smarter than anybody else, I'm just better at pattern recognition. Being smart isn't all its cracked up to be either. I can't shut off the active part of my mind in order to relax, so I suffer from stress and anxiety constantly.
>>
I'm 32 and have a net worth of $7 million. I inherited it at 27, mostly in property form, and very few people who know me know about it.
>>
>>726656402
?????????????
there are people with impossible IQ's alive today
Benjamin Nettan Yahu (however it is spelled) has an IQ of 180
Terrence Tao has an IQ of 230
>>
I live a savage life, I'm in the streets thuggin, used to serve and rob, went to jail for burglary didn't give a fuck once I got out I went back to what I was doin b4 I went in.

Now I'm just coolin wit my niggas doing thangs the kegal way but we still active. when I'm stuck at home I browse /b/ and shit post.
>>
>>726656709
Sure
>>
I completely stripped my cousin while she was sleeping and took pictures of her nude, and still have them. It's technically cp, so no sharing, but you get the jist
>>
>>726656779
"only person smarter than me in my grade" this is incorrect

a more accurate statement would be, "the most adequate in the class to be able to identify and collaborate data into information"

high iq people tend to think they are naturally smart and neglect the necessary work to achieve what they want. whilst an average student isn't blindsighted and ends up doing more because he put the effort in

high IQ=/= smart
high IQ= capable
>>
>>726655565
Not everyone with a high IQ is brilliant, but every brilliant person has a high IQ
>>
>>726656893
I must've done some shitty research lol, thanks for enlightening me :)
>>
>>726657075
You know what I meant
>>
>>726657089
yeah.
Einstein was barely around 160, yet he does more than most people in the 190's
>>
>>726656258
I've apologized so many times, in prayer, out loud, in prayer in Arabic (in case his ghost doesn't speak English) I've tried falling asleep whilst constantly apologizing. all it does is bring the scene back to my head. Honestly if this keeps up im gonna just OD on sleeping pills and booze so i can apologize in person.
>>
>>726657241
yes, and im just checking you on your arrogant attitude.

the slipperyest slope of them all
>>
Not too outlandish but...

>Pancho motherfucking Villa ransacked my grandpa's ranch, was a pretty good one
>We could have been a moderately wealthy family
>instead, im poor grad student looking for employment
piss off villa
>>
File: IMG_2220.jpg (175KB, 983x2204px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
IMG_2220.jpg
175KB, 983x2204px
Here it is
>>
>>726657330
your not meaning what you say, and no need to pray.

pro-tip, your not apologising to him as much as your apologising to yourself.
>>
I've killed 7 homeless people by luring them to my house within the past 5 years
>>
File: Capture.jpg (96KB, 849x1281px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Capture.jpg
96KB, 849x1281px
>>726641374
I took a girl's virginity in middle school (yeah middle school) and she grew up to be a playboy model who dated a movie star. Pic is actually of her.
>>
>>726657366
I didn't mean to come off as arrogant, I'm just saying that high IQ means that you're given an advantage. Doesn't mean you'll achieve more than a hard working person of average intelligence, just means that you can achieve more with less effort.
I agree, arrogance is a very slippery slope, and I apologize for coming off as arrogant :)
>>
>>726657586
I have fucked a few homeless women. Invite them over let them shower and feed them. After a few drinks most will let you fuck them. I often slap them around but don't have the balls to go through and kill one.
>>
>>726654003
Always have to be a faggot who instead of congratulating like an alpha male he wants to hate like a beta male.
>>
>>726657524
Nice! Have you applied for a college yet?
>>
>>726641374
I used to own 4chan
>>
>>726658011
OUR KING HAS RETURNED
>>
I have 5 degrees including a PhD in history and Science of Philosophy and I'm only 33. Also, I fucked Olivia Munn before she was famous.
>>
>>726658011
moot you fucking faggot fix 4chan now, dont run away from the mess you created
>>
>>726657929
Ow, I should do that to :o
>>
>>726658011
dubs for comfirmed moot
>>
>>726657994
I'm still a sophomore I'm thinking about an academy and some other smaller D1 schools that are good in education. I'm trying to be a student athlete and major in Physics
>>
File: 1421931543535.jpg (649KB, 4750x2693px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1421931543535.jpg
649KB, 4750x2693px
>>726658011
>>
>>726658351
Sounds hard :(
>>
My dad got his head smashed in on the walking dead and made over 1000 people literally cry when it happened.
>>
i got trips on /b/ once
>>
I'm ranked in the top 10 on Gas Buddy. Long haul trucker with nothing better to do sometimes than update gas prices. I've won many gas cards and gift cards.
>>
>>726658987
Proof or gtfo
>>
>>726659052
Fuck you, you lying cunt
>>
>>726641374
I masturbate more then 8 times a day
>>
>>726659143
I'm at college and he's in California, no can do, anon.
>>
File: 7dHyZeJ.jpg (443KB, 1535x2303px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
7dHyZeJ.jpg
443KB, 1535x2303px
>>726641374
I once tried to rape my dog....
>>
>>726659237
Lmao so you can't send us any time stamped identification with the last name of yeun.
>>
>>726659237
Actually, you lying fuck cunt, Steven Yeun, the guy who plays Glenn, only have an infant child, so I have a hard time believing that you are his son in college, shitfuck.
>>
>>726659510
Not yeun, Cudlitz.

>>726659690
cumgrabdulations, dip.
>>
>>726646266
>all those years of sucking ungodly amount of cocks
That kiss sure must've felt good
>>
Ive insemination half the world's population
>>
>>726659740
max or mason
>>
I attended one of the top boarding schools in the country on a full scholarship, but got kicked out after a year because I didn't do my schoolwork and couldn't keep my room clean.
>>
>>726659740
Alright "Max or Mason". Next time provide proof (not that you have any) if you want to tout an obvious lie
>>
>>726660064
Wow bro sucks to be you
Doing schoolwork and keeping shit clean are the two easiest parts of the day
>>
File: IMG_7945.jpg (102KB, 1242x571px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
IMG_7945.jpg
102KB, 1242x571px
>>726648462
I'm not the poster you replied to, but I am a legit 1%-er (pic absolutely related).

What do you have in mind?
>>
>>726641374
I had Sex with Lindsay Stirling before her first CD came out
>>
>>726660202
It was fun while it lasted. Made a lot of friends, they had a lot of school related parties, got to learn Latin and taught myself to read a bit of Japanese while i was there- it was nice
>>
>>726660315
you sir are the only man im jealous of in this thread.
>>
>>726660280
3 mil != top 1% lmao
>>
>>726648149
kek
>>
>>726660365
You couldn't do all that and study?
>>
>>726641374
I fucking wish i had photos to prove.
>found out from cousin's fiancee that my cousin was abusive
>fucked my cousin's fiancee in front of him to help her prove she was no longer in love with him
>proceeded to then fuck cousin because he is a twinky little beta
>find out a couple years later that he is dating again
>find out he is abusing again after taking a few months to befriend her because wife (cousin's ex fiancee) is a co-worker and ironically wanted to hookup with her before finding out she was dating cousin, shows wife bruising to prove it
>end up helping her out by making him sit and watch my now wife fingerbang his current gf
>fuck him again to get the point across
>they stay together, but they move into our guest house so we can keep an eye on him
>she has reversed the roles, completely doms him, plays with us while he watches
>he has managed to become a productive member of society
>after several years, we have gotten way more laid back in our treatment of him, no need to be so dommish, we both have kids, (pretty sure one of theirs is mine but no biggie)
>he is now off all antidepressants and shit that he was on before meeting my wife in the first place, shows no signs of mental damage per say
>still keep an eye on him in case he pulls something down the road.
>>
>>726660452
I was just bad at getting organized and motivating myself to actually do work. Shit excuse but it's the truth
>>
I got my first blowjob in a mall photo booth
>>
File: IMG_0251.jpg (797KB, 2208x1744px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
IMG_0251.jpg
797KB, 2208x1744px
>>726650755
Not OP but i can too
>>
>>726641374

I used to be a priest.

And a physician.

Now I live in my mother's guest room and run an escape room one day a week for beer money.
>>
>>726643621
How about a substantial (low interest)loan to start a meadery?
>>
>>726651137
Fucking hell, this is too funny
>>
>>726645190
1455 edgewood drive.
https://www.google.co.nz/maps/place/37%C2%B027'15.0%22N+122%C2%B008'21.6%22W/@37.4541775,-122.1391658,3a,75y,185.47h,74t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1snuaqUR1CJ8le-51sm-Mkzg!2e0!6s%2F%2Fgeo2.ggpht.com%2Fcbk%3Fpanoid%3DnuaqUR1CJ8le-51sm-Mkzg%26output%3Dthumbnail%26cb_client%3Dmaps_sv.tactile.gps%26thumb%3D2%26w%3D203%26h%3D100%26yaw%3D311.6462%26pitch%3D0%26thumbfov%3D100!7i13312!8i6656!4m5!3m4!1s0x0:0x0!8m2!3d37.454167!4d-122.139333

something is blurred out on google maps in front of that address
>>
>>726660482
Weird boner.
>>
File: vortex2.jpg (148KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
vortex2.jpg
148KB, 1024x768px
I can sense the stream of live
what gives me the ability to know stuff that is about to happen. and i know what people will do before they do it. i can sense the future.
for example i already know that you wont belive it and you write that you belive it just to make me look dumb ;) but i dont care if people will belive it
>>
>>726660930
Pediatrics?

Couldn't stop bad touching the younglings, eh uncle Larry?
>>
>>726662006
when will someone roll dubs
>>
>>726662153

ha ha. Entertaining guess, but no. Pathology.

Couldn't stand wasting my life sitting in a windowless basement, getting pissed on by surgeons and administrators for shit pay.

Finally grew some balls and started doing whatever the fuck I wanted to do. Right now, that's creating escape rooms.
>>
>>726647492

> including several European pornstars

a few examples? which was the best fuck?
>>
>>726662006
k tell me what other thread i have open?
>>
>>726662659
Nice. Path sucks balls. Two fellowships to be competitive? Fuck that noise.

What city?
>>
>>726660280
you're upper middle class my dude
>>
>>726643473
How were those two years in jail after I caught you two fuckers?
>>
>>726641374
I once did not eat for a month, because my father was starving me as a punishment.
>>
>>726662967

Was in New York. Moved west. ;)
>>
I've committed some pretty serious war crimes. I greentext about it once in a while, but every time I do, some one tries to call it out as pasta, but I've never seen it posted as pasta.
>>
>>726663969
post it, im curious
>>
I once briefly led a cult.
>>
>>726657524
not how timestamps work dumbass
>>
File: 1482565419017.jpg (299KB, 1080x1920px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1482565419017.jpg
299KB, 1080x1920px
I live a normal life, with normal friends, with an ok job and ok car. My wife is stay at home furry artist and as such we've got a cat a dog four fish tanks and two birds. And we're happy.

On my downtime I sell meth to h-town elites. I write it in as labor done on their office aquariums on my taxes, which I also do so there's evidence of it on camera. Do the hand overs in plain sight of the cameras, make it look like I'm adding salt to the sump underneath the stands.

I get a nice little nest egg, cash is all on the up and up, and no one gets hurt except some desk jockey who otherwise would get his shit fucked trying to buy at a club.
>>
Created and exposed myself to Hydrogen Fluoride using pic related and suffered no blindness or burns.
>>
>>726664999
Sorry, here's pic related
>>
>>726664244
All right, but just one, because it's my favorite one

>Be armyfag
>Kandahar Province, Afghanistan, 2010
>Be Weapons Technician
>Infantry are going to all the villages and confiscating weapons
>Make me come incase they find something weird
>Am in village
>Be guarding confiscated weapons with infantrybro
>Rest of section are searching houses
>Sandnigger comes to talk to us
>English is broken as fuck, but can basically understand him
>Says he is glad Americans are here and now his kids can go to school
>mfw I'm not even American, Americans aren't even in Kandaher
>wonder what it's like to kill a sand nigger.
>Never likely to see combat because I'm not combat MOS
>Yell at him to drop the weapon
>He is unarmed
>He is confuse
>Infantrybro is confuse
>I shoot him twice
>Whole section comes expecting firefight
>Section commander asks wtf happened
>I say he tried to take the weapons
>infantrybro backs me up
>No investigation
>get away with murder
>>
>>726658011
fuck off moot
>>
I am a former world record holder.
>>
>>726643183
well, you do spell like a cop
>>
>>726641374
I'm 6 foot 9
>>
>>726665488
For most dicks sucked in an hour?
>>
>>726665184
Funny story actually. There's enough information here that one butthurt anon was able to figure out my country and unit and said he was going to report it to my chain of command. I never heard anything about it. I guess he realized that greentext on 4chan isn't enough for an investigation, let alone a conviction.
>>
I've spent over $2000 on sex with at least ten different hookers and I'm only 20.
>>
>>726665184
You are the reason they hate us.
>>
>>726666448
Those are some cheap-ass hookers. Fuck. How many STDs you got?
>>
>>726665184
>>726665748
Fuck dude. You do realize that you're fucked in the head right?
>>
>>726667048
Nah man, they hated us before I got there
>>
>>726666448

2 grand is barely enough to hire a high class escort for 1 or 2 hours.
>>
>>726667058
I've only fucked my three favorites, the rest were just hj's and bj's.
Thread posts: 306
Thread images: 54





[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.