ITT: Your Most Fucked Up Pickup Lines.
pic not related.
roses are red, violets are blue... I have a gun get in the fucking van
(cashier at a store)
Cashier: Did you find everything?
Me: No, there was actually something I couldn't find. I thought I might find it up here.
C: What are you looking for?
Me: Your number.
(she called security and I had to be escorted out)
(I'm not allowed back at that store any longer)
I once was at a party and saw that a girl had scars on her thighs and I said something like:
>I couldn't help but notice the scars on your legs
>oh.. haha.. yeah, I-
>I'd love to see if you have more
Long story short she gave me a bj while I fingered her. She thought I was into emo shit like her but didn't realize I was just drunk and was being kind of autistic by blurting things out.
"This penis is going in that vagina. You decide if you want to be in the paper tomorrow"
>Her: Did you find everything you were looking for today?
>Me: Well, I couldn't seem to find your number anywhere
Also at stores where they use your phone number for discounts and stuff:
>Her: CVS card or phone number?
>Me: (give phone number). Okay, now what's yours?
these actually work for me. Just saying.
>go up to a girl at the bar
>ask to buy her a drink
>once she drinks it bet her you guys will fuck in the next 20mins
>when she gets angry and tells you to fuck off
>ask her so you don't want the antidote? And walk off with a smile.
Clearly he added the irritating later and didnt change the and for a ,.
M'lady, if my dick died, might I bury it in thine asshole?
Are you a bot pushing narrative by use of negative false opinion? anon modded the text because he edited.
he didnt fix the grammar after.
Pro tip, your newfag shows when you dont use argumentation on 4chan.
> 20-year-old me working at a video store
> spots a 4/10 girl walking in store
> figure she wouldn't say "no"
> or at least would be a bit flattered and not totally reject me
> she comes to the counter
> now I am nervous as fuck
> y tho?
> I don't fucking know
> all this pressure on my shoulders to not get rejected by a 4/10 girl
> puss out with any line and decide to do transaction as normal
> feel it slipping away -- fuck it
> "d-do you want free videos?"
> "you don't have to p-pay"
> "can I have your phone number?"
> bitch leaves videos on counter and leaves
Hey babe, are you a mathbook?
Because it looks like you have a lot of fucking problems.
>Con ese culo, cagame en pecho y decime Marta!
>walks to corner store where a 6/10 and guess her friend 4/10 chilling smoking.
>walk right up start small talk
>she smiles and friend is digging the convoy too
>*drunk balls activate*
>*move in a little closer to her right side*
>"oh wow that looks heavy let me hold that for you"
>*placing her hand into mine*
>she smiles and blushes and let's me hold her hand
>her friend looks
>"awww. That was slick!" She says
> got both their numbers
>went to their place because they were roommates
>had three some
>Talking to sisters hot friend
>She is kinda flirty but not known for being open to dating
>Decide to take my chances
>Get full confidence boost mode
>Listen to motivational music for an hour
>Finally grow the pair
>Walk in to my sisters room where she was chilling while my sister was picking up a third friend
>Completely choke up
>"Uh hey... Ask my sister, she'll tell you I can eat pussy like a fucking legend, can we?"
You sure have good thumbnails
Real simple start with something about how nice it is out tonight, then wing it a bit compliment her shirt or her hair, look for tattoos, or something you can have in common, when in a group talk to everyone but keep looking at your target. Smile gently, have a low key god complex.
Me: hey want to dance?
Me: no, you misheard me I said you look fat in those pants.
*moon walk away*
my pickup line is a direct command that is irresistible to the feminine sexual stimulization construct
blow to me
>look for tattos or something you can have in common
3. Tattoos went out of fashion (if you can call it that at all, given that it was just losers trying to be different, now all the same=losers) like 15 years ago.
4. Only losers dress up their skin like pirates. A woman who is that trashy is going to have a stinky, diseased cunt.
5. Enjoy your AIDS.
Btw, lol if this is "in common" with you, loser. No go make me another cup of coffee, permanent barrista boi.
>How many dicks do take in your latte?
Just straight coffee, faggot, and the only "dick" is the one fetching it for me. Here's a quarter for your plastic tip glass you fucking loser. Be sure to kill self soon now, k?
not him, but you >>724760776
are the one who seems buttblasted by your replies
btw, he has a point you know
tattooed women in general tend to be nasty and cheap whores who lack personal hygiene
hard to argue otherwise
and yeah, tattooes are so 00's
they look dumb now
If I asked you to sleep with me, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one?
Just because one says no, doesn't mean they all will. Got to dig through mud and dirt before you find gold.
I bet you one rape that you wouldn't want me to rape you right now
>60% of the time, it works every time
Myrtle Beach...... Summer 94.."Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't I know you? "
At the bar with girlfriend. I go take a piss and while I'm gone some guy walks up and asks if he can buy her a drink. She says "sure" and asks for a whiskey coke (my drink).
I walk up and put my hand on her waste as she hands me the drink.
This guy scowls at me and walks off and I didn't know what had happened. She tells me the story and we both Lol as I sip my drink.
>bad fuck off
So bad it worked..... Before I said it I asked if they wanted to hear the most fucked up pickup line, and if they couldn't reply in 5 seconds they had to chill with me and my battle buddy for the evening.... Point being, sometimes a fucked up pickup line can be an awesome icebreaker...and fuck off
You should see it, anon.
They finally did Logan justice by making his last movie R-rated, and a fucking awesome one, at that.
Definitely worth the money.
Plus you get to see a little girl main dozens of people.
What are you saying, my friend? I think the pickup line was top kek ;)
I normally just say hey or make a joke about something during that time. I'm assuming we're talking face to face here.
But I guess you're all so incredibly ugly to get a response back. Then from there you let your charisma, jawline, and pearly whites do all the work. The icebreaker/pickup is the most useless shit ever. Only uggos worry about it.
Hey baby do you like dragons?
Coz I'm gonna be dragon my balls across your face later.
Used to have a shirt that said "SHOW ME YOUR TITS" and it would light up under a blacklight. I wore that once to a dance party and a bouncer fucking asked me to take it off or turn it inside out.
That reminds me of something I once anonymously signed in this chick's yearbook my freshman year of HS. "Roses are red / violets are blue / just like you'll be / when I strangle you"
Does his napkin smell like ether or chloroform?
You look easy. Are you?
I'm feeling generous, I'll let you have sex with me.
Come home with me or I carry your roofied ass home anyway.
I'm drunk enough to consider you hot, let's fuck.
don't Fucking MOVE!! Scream and i will put this knife in your throat.....i said fucking shut your mouth....breath through your nose....YOUR NOSE....that's it....good girl.....yeah you like it don't you, you are a fucking whore.....fuck you, i fucking hate you and sluts like you.....you wonder why men do this to you....FUCK YOU....
Woke up this morning 5:30 sharp with a blowjob from two bitches, one was trying to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking halfway on my 18 and 3\8 inch dick. Must have came about a quart of sperm. They wanted more, cockslapped them unconcious, I had to hit the gym. Frontflipped from my 14th floor loft into my valet parked 2014 Ferrari (I got connexions) and gave the valet 3000$ in loose change. Pushed my shit to about 4 hundo (mph, mind you) and I was at the gym in no time. When I entered, the room scent suddently changed from sweat to wet pussy. That;s just the effect I have on hoes. Did my usual relax routine, 6000 push-ups, 8500 crunches, bench pressed 30 plates, etc. etc. you know the drill. After doing my shit in 16 minutes, my super strong senses got in action, I was smelling pussy. I looked up, and sure enough this fly honey was coming towards me. When i say fly, I mean that bitch was fine as a fucking umbrella. 18 years old, 44DD titties on a tight fucking frame. I mean a real skinny bitch, the type you losers jack off to, she didnt weigh more than 5 pounds. Took out my trouser monster and she started to squirt hard, she was convulsing and having 6 orgasms at the same time. Then I gave it to her while all the guys were giving me high fives and all the hoes were on the floor squirting like motherfucking fountains. Made the slut beg for my cum, but I didnt give it to her to prove a point, I still came but only compressed air came out, imagine your best orgasm, then multiply it by 35. Didnt say nothing, hopped back in the Lambo and went back home. Now I'm sitting here, drinking 15 000$ champagne and eating gold plated sushis made by the 2 bitches from earlier. Its only 6:30 and I did more in 1 hour than you faggots will do your whole life. Enjoy jacking off to stupid drawn pictures.