Oh I fucked up guys I fucked up bad its like winning the fuck up lottery i never expected it to wind up like this but fuck me. Pic related. I gotta start with the back story, I need advice. I really need some clever advice to get out of this and quick bec. this is a happening right now kind of situation. Pic related. Looks like my sisters thong.
>Be me, a Neet, on 4chan too much. See a post about the guy who is crazy about ham sandwiches. He said "cant let grammy know I'm making hammy" Why did I write that quote down on a piece of paper and put it in my nightstand drawer? I cant even tell you. This is just the beginning.
>sister using my laptop. Didnt think much of it, my porn is hidden in a rabbit hole of folders. Except, she went to save a pic and it automatically tried to save in my porn folder.
>Not much of a problem here, its just vanilla porn I'm not into weird shit. She laughed it off and said "found your porn anon" in an offhand way and no big deal right? Everybody looks at porn.
>well it wouldnt have been a big deal except this happened yesterday, and today the worst happened. If there were a couple month gap between events it would be better. well no it will never be better the worst happened /b.
I'll continue in a reply, I dont have this typed out already but I will try to be quick bec. I need help asap.
type faster faggot the suspense is killing me, did you came on her thong or shit like that? kek
I can't work out if I'm retarded for posting in this thread.
Early indications say yes
MFW i bothered to read this post
OK so I was at my friends house last night. Came home to bad bad thing this morning.
Ok, so my sister is good looking and fit. I dont get off to her. I dont think about my sister. But I nabbed the panties she wore to the gym yesterday and got off to the smell. I wasnt thinking about her. I was thinking about somebody else but wanted the added pussy smell for my jack off experience.
I balled them up after I was done and stuck them in my nightstand drawer. I dont know why so dont ask me.
So I come home, remember they're in there and go to take them out and toss them in the hamper right? They're gone.
THEYRE FUCKING GONE. and my "cant let grammy know I'm making hammy" note is gone too.
My sister is on her way out to do something with friends, and I sort of catch her in passing and she gives me this wide-eye fucking glare. I'm so fucked /b. How can I play this off? She wore them yesterday so she knows I actively seeked them out and took them. Wtf can I do?
Probably, but it's not like there's anything else interesting on /b/ right now. Come to think of it I should probably check out some other boards apart from /b/, /x/ and /pol/ sometime.
I gotta give you the details man im not bullshitting I'm thinking about saying that I just wanted to wear them for my own kind of kink and not that I was sniffing them or anything. I think I can pass off the note as just something I thought was funny at the time. But I think I'm going to have to pretend to be gay or something to fix this.
Tell her that if she tells someone you will kill her
I kek'd at your expense you irresponsible fuck. Never speak of it or do that again.
Boggles my mind that you have the cognitive skills to type, yet still do shit that retarded.
sounds like it's time you give offer her a pair of your smelly jizz encrusted man underwear as an apology gift
I had a pair of your underwear stuck to my pants from the laundry room.
I shoved them in my drawer to put back in the laundry room
Now they are gone...... did you get them back.... but more importantly, why where you going through my stuff?!
yeah but they were balled up in my nightstand drawer. The day after she found my porn folder. I feel like a degenerate. It was just this whim I had bec. I was horny and saw them all sweaty in the hamper and though wtf take a sniff kind of thing... The worst thing is she left and she hangs out with other people from my school and she hasnt confronted me yet just gave me a fucking wide eye stare and walked out the door. Shes going to tell people, and I'm going to have to pretend I tried to wear them or something to minimize the damage.
no just smelled like regular pussy. Believe it or not I'm not a neckbeard virgin. I was thinking about an ex girlfriend and saw the panties and thought what the hell have a whiff of pussy while you jack off... well that jack off was not worth whatever is going to go down later.
Why dont you break it down to her and say. Hey look im fuckin autistic and i wasnt going to see any other panties in my lifetime. Was a jerk reaction to panties not your panties. Nothing personal kiddo.
I dont have any pics of my sister besides some shit from vacation thats printed and in a photo album. I dont get off to my sister, just thought her pussy smell would add to my jack off thinking about my ex girlfriend. Her pussy smelled the same. But I'm going to have to tell her I got high and tried them on or something... I havent been able to talk to her yet, and she is hanging out with other people from my school so I have no idea how this is going to play out.
Ball up a pair of your boxers and toss them under her bed. When she asks, just say you stole them because she stole yours. Call her a creep and say you took a pair of hers and hadn't figured out what to do with them yet. About the note, just tell her you're banging grandma. Bam...fixed!
Fucking tell her the truth. Just say that. You arent going to make the situation better by lying, shes your sister she is going to know you are lying. Even if the truth is far fetched put it out there and stop being a pussy about it youll be alright i promise.
Tell her that if she tells anyone you'll shoot up the school
Note ive been on 4chan for 6 years. I have a wife and im more sociall adjusted than these losers on here who dont even know who they are trying to tell you how to be. I hate what this site has come to and the only threads i reply to or give a real look at is rekt threads and people asking for help. You try anything but honesty and you will have more people to explain to than her. She saw ur porn folder if its vanilla no incest shit u got nothing saying this is a freudian slip. Dont be stupid
OP here. I have an idea, I'm going to text my sister to try to stop this in its tracks before she says anything to anybody. Literally the only things I had in my nightstand were her panties, that note, a pocket knife, a phone charger and a little bit of weed. She knows I smoke weed sometimes and I know she has tried it too. I think she was looking to borrow my charger when she went through my drawer.
I'm going to say I got high and wanted to try them on. No harm no foul right?
I agree with this /b/ro. She's your sister, she'll understand and likely keep your secret. Like Anon said, if your make the situation not about her, she'll be fine with it. Especially if you guys have a good relationship which it sounds like you probably do.
>pic not related but fucking hilarious. Laugh it off /b/ro.
dont mention it yet. Just send her a shout like, hey you wanna drink tonight / watch a movie tonight / whatever you do to hang out with your sis.
then just chat. Make it a nice evening. Have some fun. If she's really shocked by what you did she'll mention it. Otherwise, let it slide.
>OP here. I have an idea, I'm going to text my sister to try to stop this in its tracks before she says anything to anybody.
....Don't do that. Talk to her in person. She won't tell anyone if she's in form of a decent person.
Tel the truth. Don't bullshit. You want the crotch sweat smell, and her panties were available.
honestly the thing with the "i was high and tryed them on" isn't that stupid. Don't mention anything untill she does and then say "i was high and tryed them on cuz a friend told me she doesn't like wearing them because they are uncomfortable". i mean shure it's retarded but it0s better than admitting that you jerkt off with her pantyes while breathing like a seafahrer
I like it. But double it. Soon she'll be giving you extra sweaty, moist damp panties for you to sell.
Font to think of it ,I'd buy some myself . Perhaps pics of your sis are in order?
I already texted her I just said "hey I was really high last night"
She just replied
>dont fucking talk to me
I'm fucked. And she was going through my shit bec. she knew I had an extra phone charger. And the autism thing is I expected her to borrow my phone charger she does it all the time.
I'm just fucked.
You have lots of advice now, but in any case, DO something. Communication is King, and studies show that lying or doing nothing never solves a bad buzz.
You have plenty of option, just don't do nothing.
And keep us updated.
Damn, good luck then. I hope you can salvage this somehow.
You're better off playing it like you wanted to know what it smelled like then you wanted to wear them. smelling panties is on the surface "gross", wearing them is on the surface and deeper down.
time to double down my nigga.
take all the panties, bust a nut on as many as you can and put them back in her drawers.
Keep one pair, when your parents go fucking mental, come out just wearing that last pair and sporting a full diamond cutter.
Then shout 'I'll fuck you all to death if this gets out'
Tomorrow do the same with your moms.
Give me her number OP ill handle this
HA HA HA YOU FUCKING POTHEAD FUCK YOU FUCKED UP
How about this?
Think how pissed off she is at the minute. Pretty pissed right?
Is all about relativity.
Show us the God damn pics. Then tell her. If she finds it you put her pics on 4chan the panties thing will be forgotten about in her rage. You win. We win. Everybody wins.
He fucked up by letting her know that he knew that the panties were gone, let alone there. He should have never texted. He should have used the high excuse when she asked him about it.
But OP fucked up, so it doesn't matter how he was going to proceed after texting that. There's no good way to proceed, he's implied that he has memory of taking the panties, and thus had enough intention/control to actively go take her panties and fap with them as opposed to being completely blasted and not remembering anything.
This is what you do sperglord. You confront her. Say "do you know what happened to those panties I bought?" She of course asked why you bought panties. "Just to, you know, have something physical to jerk it to." Then, with a little bit of luck she laughs and says "Oh shit I thought those were mine!" Good luck anon.
tell her youre sick of your charger being gone so you thought you'd fuck with her and put her panties in the drawer WITH The charger KNOWING she'd see it and hopefully assume something awful and fuck off your chargers and shit forevermore
FUCK anon, you're fine. LISTEN just tell her you had to sneeze and grabbed the first thing you could, which happen to be her underwear. You didn't realize what you grabbed until you looked and were sooo horrified that you did this to her panties, you hid them until you could clean them up later. Never divert from that story either.
You know, you could do something crazy and actually tell her the truth. When in doubt, go with the truth. She thinks you're some creepy sister fucker wannabe. Let he know the truth and apologize and then if she keeps being a bitch, shes the one being an asshole. You can come out of this closer if you go with the truth.
>THEYRE FUCKING GONE. and my "cant let grammy know I'm making hammy" note is gone too.
Top fucking zozzle.
This is why I come here.
i've read this whole thread and this is the best answer i see. if you two aren't established as chill together you should just go with that post.
personally i could probably take all of my families underwear and horde it until they ask what's up then place the bag of loot in the kitchen and laugh aloud like a maniac. i have already crossed the line. not sexually though. they just think i'm crazy.
>mixed up in the wash
>the panties were dirty and flying solo in my nightstand drawer, trust me if I could blame it on the dog I would.
I dont have pics of my sister, like I said before, I dont get off to her. Shes good looking but shes my sis. It was a stupid lapse of horny judgement. I just wanted a pussy whiff while jerking.
I'm thinking about telling her I'll rat on her for stealing my weed (she doesnt steal, I generously give her bud whenever she asks). But my dad was a navy pilot and flew a-6s off of carriers during vietnam and my mom is a hardened military nurse. They would disown me just as quickly. I told my dad once that a-6s looked like pussy airplanes and he beat me something senseless.
Anyway, I'm gonna damage control this and beg her not to tell anybody that I just wanted to try them on while high. Better than saying I was sniffin her crotch right?
Dude seriously. Please listen to me and only me.
Don't say anything about it. Ever. If she brings it up you say, 'I don't know what you're talking about.'
Deny everything, she has no proof of anything. This will be a useful life lesson, learn how to lie.
Nigger, you got off to her pussy whiff while jerking it. You, by that act, got off to her. You dumb nigger.
You, dumb nigger. Dumb. You aren't doing damage control, you are damaging your control. Stop while your stupid ass is ahead, if you can even stop.
not OP here. that's a load of shit. i don't have a facebook nor do i want pics of my family in my posession. also stop baiting the OP for pics he's not completely retarded.
this cat gets it. this is the advice to take, OP
Learn to keep your mouth shut. Good life lesson, someday when you're getting busted by cops or in court.. silence is golden.
If she tells anyone they'll think she's the crazy one. No proof = no crime
No. OP here. I probably wouldnt get beaten. But I've been reading your replies. I'm done talking and will take the "what? waddnt me" approach now. And my dad wouldn't hit me with jumper cables, but probably smash me with his old flight helmet if he got pissed enough. He flew these things off of carriers through flack and watched his friends go down in fireballs during Vietnam. He doesnt have much of a sense of humor.
i'm in my mid twenties. i had a facebook a few years ago for all of one month then i was contacted by people i'd honestly rather shoot in the face let alone be in touch with. legit neet//hermit here.
i'd just like to see this story to the end though. OP is probably already in a cold shower freaking out.
dub 5's talking about trip 6's talking about a-6's
Finally after spending countless hours of readng all the replies I have come up with the ultimate plan to help you (OP)
>step wone: convince your sister to meet you in your basement
> while she is confused why you wanted to meet her there tie and gag her and force her to her knees
>invite the 4chin b party in to have the sloppiest gangbang of mankind with said sister
>end of plan
He only fucked up a little bit, he can play that off. If anything it might be a good idea to just reply 'why' and then that gives the lad a chance to start his denial approach.
You're also not satan for denying what you did. Fuck it lad, life is long and you'll make worse mistakes along the way. You're going to need to know how to navigate those situations and this is good practice.
It's honestly better than texting her, OP.
Just keep us posted
Tell her the truth if she brings it up. Believe me, the truth is way better than telling her you tried them on... she wont tell anyone, why would she? No girl wants her social circle to think she lives in fear of her brother sniffing up her snatch.
here is a guide to deal with women in any situation
Tell her u grabbed a tee shirt lutta the wash basket a d her knickers where stuck to it...
Either a mistake or her coochie was leaking some sticky shit or you picked it up by mistake and was gonna put it back next time u went in there.
Ps sis it sure made my t smell nice..
Giz a lick...
If you didn't immediately respond to her "don't talk to me" with an angry "what's your problem?" or something along those lines you've already admitted your guilt and have to come up with something
You're a grade-A, commie-faced, hook-nosed, pants-on-head retard if you don't just say that you stole them in order to sell them to a creep on craigslist for weed money. Thank me later for saving your pathetic social life, retard.
>and I sort of catch her in passing and she gives me this wide-eye fucking glare. I'm so fucked /b.
I approve of this advice.
who said they where HER panties anon?
how does anybody know you smashed some 10/10 and took home a trophy?
I'm sure there are a million pairs like it
You look cool
You get away with it
easy enough, that or just say you lied to your friends and you where planning on showing them the panties as proof to impress them.
Dude, buy some panties and weed, and when she confronts you start crying saying that you are a sick pothead with a sick fetish and show him that you already have ones but you wanted to try those kind of panties and youre out of control. Like a drama queen
Shes a girl, she'll pity you, and with a dad like yours she'll understand
look i was high and horny i know it was stupid, i'm sorry. we can smoke and talk it out
then you fuck that slut right in the pussy, and she won't tell a soul. trust me i have been in the same spot.
Dude. Just say you were going to impress your friends by showing them a girls underwear and pretend that you ducked a girl and got to have the underwear to take it to them for respect.
Also why don't you say you borrowed them and took a pic to send to your bro to make it seem like you had a girl over? It's way less creepy, just kinda sad. Def better than her thinking you're a perv or a tranny tho
yo here's some actual advice!
something very similar happend to me but with my mum.
just ignore it. never mention it again. she'll do the same.
things might be akward a few days/weeks but sooner or later it will be over.
On another note, my little sister's friend was over last night and she forgot these in the bathroom. They smell fucking incredible. The smell of younger pussy is like a powerful drug to me.
Don't really want to say. Here's some other stuff for scale.
I assume you're an autistic neck beard who enjoys Vidya gayms, I also assume you're a younger person, I know underage b& and all, but assuming you're like 15 or something, if she says anything about it, you tell her that your friends think she's hot and paid you like 60$ or got some new game for you or someshit, so what was incestuous perversion is now petty theft
just offer to eat her out, you know you want to.
Pic of sister and I'll tell op how I got out of similar situation with my step sister..friends raided her panty drawer and we're making believe they were outlaws in the wild west using her panties as bandanas..many beers later they wound up in my closet
You have to kill your sister and anyone who may know about this OP. Pack a bag full of basic shit clothes etc.. spend the rest of your days hitch hiking and feeding of the cum of strangers
Step sis back from first semester of college
Leaves luggage unpacked in hallway
One day goes by still in hallway
Friends see something say something
Friends come over to play Mario kart and drink beers
Decide to wear step sis 8/10 panties as bandanas
Wind up in my closet
To lazy to clean drunk
Fast forward a couple of days
Step sis boyfriend who lives out of state comes over for Christmas
Phaggot dosent bring sweatpants to coldest state in us
Our heat is low quality and barely functional
Stop sis goes in closet to find sweatpants
Embarrasses neckbeard in front of our entire family
Over for dessert one night to open earlyour presents
They looked pretty clean to be honest. Not anymore though.
This only works if you get in trouble for setting off stink bombs in middle school. She knows exactly what she saw, and denying it will only freak her more out, retard. You obviously haven't gotten far in life