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< ------- > I use poisonous things to look for less poisonous

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 348
Thread images: 16

< -------

> I use poisonous things to look for less poisonous things in more poisonous things.

What about you anon?
>>
>>722950340

I close doors in front of people every day as much as i can just to get to the next red light 20 meters further.
>>
I'm an unnecessary step in giving the government your money for you
>>
I try to figure out how things that don't exist work by comparing them to other things that don't exist
>>
>>722950340
I count.. a lot... generally by 5s up to 30
>>
I pick up cardboard and people make face nosies at me so i can get more cardboard.
>>
I play with metal wires
>>
I think and talk about stuff, often with a tie.
>>
>>722950340

pc with art
>>
>>722950340
i show ppl this is how u hoist the stuff off the ground and how to put it back down again
>>
>>722950340
Move equipment from one place to another while sinultaniously creating space.
>>
>>722950340
I move side to side and back and forth sometimes I'll just use my hands while standing still
>>
>>722950340
I help society by helping people by letting me help them.
>>
I pick things up then put them down.
>>
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I do an up and down motion while grabbing a horse's dick
>>
I don't not not don't not don't don't do anything
>>
>>722951143
Haha
>>
>>722951244
I'm a horse masturbater
>>
>>722951122
>>722950913
>>
>>722951244
Checked
>>
I laugh at everybody externally because they can't comupetr.
>>
>>722950340
I try to find out how really small blobby bits smoosh together to turn even smaller bits into slightly different bits
>>
I kill living things in order to keep them alive.
>>
I get paid to sit around and chat with people, Occasionally I go to a different location and do a simple action like walk around or pretend to talk.
>>
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>>722951326
>>
sometimes I do the beep, and sometimes the beep gets me mad
>>
>>722951350
You're an atomic physicist?
>>
I have a machine move things from one side to another and get praised for it.
>>
I run over to people and slap them with a rubber chicken
>>
>>722951452
protein biochemist
>>
>>722951555
>>
I draw patterns on a piece of paper that tell people what other people will buy/sell so that those people can buy when the others sell and sell when they buy ▬ I'm right 50% of the time
>>
>>722950340
i talk to and direct fat and mouthy rednecks with a penchant for appreciating chrome on a daily basis

what am i?
>>
>>722950340
I indirectly kill animals to fatten other animals.
>>
I call people and they tell me to kill myself on a daily basis.
>>
I'm always in computers deleting system 32
>>
I throw rocks into sand and the sand into dust and then I send it so other people can look at the dust I made.
>>
>>722952111
I meant to write turn not throw but phone fucked with me.
>>
>>722950406
Taxi, obvious.
>>
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>>722950340
>>
>>722950410
Mail Carrier
>>
>>722950340
I currently, stay about and not do much but read and stuff about math and such.
>>
I tell people they're stupid without saying a word.
>>
I work in the hospital because I like to see people suffer
>>
I'm a student
>>
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>>722950888
Checked'
>>
>>722952222
Chkd
>>
>>722951853
That dude at the zoo
>>
I turn wheels to shape metal
>>
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>>722950340
I work for the government
I use a computer
I tell idiots how not to fuck themselves
>>
>>722952222
Check
>>
I type necronomicon worthy sentences to keep the cloud(s) from falling on our heads.
>>
>>722950340
Pharmaceutical QC?
>>722950913
Personal Trainer?
>>
>>722950340
i gather data from different departments and put them into graphs of red and green so that the board of directors can understand if we're doing good or bad.

actually, that's a pretty accurate description of my job.
>>
>>722950340
Put the peppers on the pie, or else your mother die.
>>
I help people permanently destroy their marriages, decimate their finances, and indirectly fuck up their kids' heads
>>
>>722950340
> I deal with shit going wrong all day because my company wont invest the money needed to mitigate them. I then make pretty graphs to show over paid business people how everything is going wrong.
>>
>>722952390
So... Powerpoint warrior?
>>
>>722950340
People I can't see make face noises at me until I tell them to fuck off because I'm not giving them any of my precious paper
>>
I collect money from Arabs
>>
>>722952367
IF I SEE THAT FUCKING CAT ONE MORE TIME...
>>
>>722952390
management control?
>>
i write shit that very few peoples understand and then, that is doing something that people do understand.
>>
>>722950507
Physicist
>>
I toss fabric in the air. If I do my job right, it stays up there.
>>
I consume books everyday but I don't know why?
>>
>>722952452
>>722952452
And Excel. but yea, pretty much.

i'm technically a data analyst at a hospital, and I get about 40 dashboards with regulatory and compliance data that i have to organize for presentation to the Board, along with interpreting monthly state and federal metrics.

i really do love my job.
>>
>>722950340
i type on a keyboard to help planes not crash
>>
>>722952605
Paper recycling?
>>
>>722952426
Be fair, their marriages are pretty fucking destroyed before you see them.
>>
>>722952583
Close. Mathematician
>>
>>722952426
loan arranger ..hiho silver away
>>
>>722952646
air traffic controller
>>
>>722952596
aerodynamics engineer?
>>
>>722952185
Nah, sounds morel like bus driver
>>
I tell the future with numbers and predict how much money someone will lose or win
>>
>>722952708
Yeah, good point. (but hey, I coulda been a prostitute too, tho, right?)
>>
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>>722952387
>Pharmaceutical QC
op here, correct
>>
>>722952111
Field geologist?
>>
>>722952426
lawwyeeerr
>>
>>722952426
Divorce lawer
>>
>>722952791
gropier
>>
>>722952835
>>722952838
excellent work
>>
>>722952778
No, a less common occupation than that.
>>
>>722952653
Hint: not a student
It's actually student
>>
>>722952866
haha nop, im an economist doing consultancy
>>
i tell computers what to do
>>
>>722952605
academic or professor, maybe researcher
>>
>>722952972
You're a shitposter on 4chan?
>>
>>722952829
Sampling minerals for mines in northern sweden.
>>
>>722952026
Debt collector
>>
>>722950340

I look at tiny pictures and tell people about their future.
>>
I get you drunk
>>
>>722950340
I look up and tell others to do it too, then I tell them what they are looking at.
>>
>>722953084
Bartender
>>
>>722952387
But to be fair. Op here.....I also do Organic chemistry. However both seem to fit that rambling i made.
>>
I act like a fictional character and get filmed.
>>
>>722951484
crane operator
>>
>>722953094
You're an astronomer?
>>
>>722950340
I sift through shit to find good shit and separate it to be sent to a store where we sell shit.
>>
>>722953072
Cop that gives our speeding tickets etc? :I
>>
>>722950340
I go outside and kill things or hack off limbs then remove the bodies.
>>
I move sticks and go zoom
>>
I have people recite error messages, and then Google them exactly
>>
>>722953111
Yup also checkd
>>
>>722953155
No, but that would be an interesting change from what I'm doing!
>>
>>722953094
Planetariumist?
>>
>>722950586
Cashier?
>>
>>722953137
Rick Harris?
>>
>>722953072
tarot card reader lol
>>
>>722952783
Buses aren't going to get the chance to cut people off, they're too big. At least in city traffic.
>>
I stand in front of large groups of people and say words usually written by a dead guy.
>>
>>722952912
I have no idea, well I have but I doubt it's what I think

tell me
>>
I sell propane and propane accessories
>>
>>722953137
You work at Goodwill or Salvation Army?
>>
>>722953279
Hank hill?
>>
>>722953114
actor
which movies have you been in? if you dont mind telling
>>
>>722950340
I use metal and sometimes paper to feed people
>>
>>722953267
professor
>>
>>722950937
forklift operator.

my nigga
>>
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>>722953279
tfw I deliver propane
>>
>>722953267
philosophy teacher
>>
>>722951843
Walmart greeter?
>>
>>722953158
Arborist?
>>
>>722953187
IT service
>>
>>722953169
baseball player ?
>>
>>722953318
I'm stage, not so much film. But I've done a few projects for some film student friends of mine.
>>
>>722950340
I want to kill myself every Monday-Friday.
>>
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>>722953275
I fly big-ass show kites at festivals, fairs and shit. One of the kites in this picture is mine. My other stuff is not up yet.
>>
>>722953169
skier
>>
>>722952026
Phonesalesman?
Jehovas?
Blackmailer?
Microsoft Level 5 Technician from Los Angeles named Mark?
>>
>>722953318
you probably know me
>>
i put poison in food so my company can better sell the rest of the food.
>>
I look and conduct research on very small pieces of human to determine one or another thing about the person.
>>
>>722953474
Hillary clinton?
>>
>I make decent food with drug addicts in their early 20s
>>
>>722953475
that's not what I was expecting, but rad as fuck
I'd like to do that for a living. good money?
>>
>>722952826
>>722953113
>tfw when you nail it
>>
>>722953458
>porno then
>>
>>722953263
He doesnt say cut people off, he says "closes doors. Bus drivers trying to stay on schedule close the doors instead of wait for people running for the bus and move on down the road -- where they sit at the next red light.
>>
>>722953527
Geneticist.
>>
>>722953279
You are a cartoon.
>>
>>722953515
pls say
>>
I watch chinese cartoons and shitpost on some imageboard.
>>
>>722953528
Nope, that would be every day, not just work days.
>>
>>722953516
process worker
>>
>>722953515
give us a hint then
>>
>>722953607
>obviously
>>
>>722953645
op
>>
I drive around and apologize to people that their shit is broken
>>
I tell people to not kms over the phone
>>
>>722953449
Yupp
>>
I grow things on a plate by putting them in a slightly warm oven.
>>
>>722953407
Works at a pull-a-part junkyard?
>>
>>722953644
>>722953680
I has oscar
>>
>>722953744
timestamp? no name on it is there?
>>
>>722953713
Petri dish cultivator guy
>>
>>722953697
tv engineer
>>
>>722953744
Are you black?
>>
>>722953744
Heath Ledger?
>>
>>722953261
Yea I am, work festivals and conventions across the country slinging cards and telling people what they want to hear for tons of cash.
>>
>>722953714
scrap yard guy
>>
>>722953790
am too high to take it down the cabinet and taea picture of it sorry anon
>>
>>722953817
nope sorry. It's maybe too vague
>>
>>722953744
>>722953790
wait a sec, Tarantino sometimes plays in his films, and is very much behind the scenes

holy shi-
>>
I make wheels of food that are divided up so everyone in the family can enjoy the 35$ I just charged them
>>
>>722953676
thank god, no.
i like getting paid.
>>
>>722953845
There's no way you have tons of cash if your a gypsy
>>
>>722953845
conman ?
>>
>>722953579
Not particularly good money, and only a very few of us make money at all. But the benefits, in terms of travel and such, are good.

To make money, you have to be selling or demoing for somebody. There are a few sport-kite teams that are sponsored by Redbull the like.
>>
>>722953797
Microbiologist, close enough.
>>
>>722953744
omg so many people have an oscar, ill never guess.
>>
>>722952596
Snuggles the bear?
>>
>>722953908
pizza guy ?
>>
>>722953845
Ok that's fair, I don't have tons of cash because there's too much cool shit at fairs and conventions. My life is a revolving door of swords, my new laser etching machine and shiny shit.
>>
>>722953845
can you read the cards for me?
>>
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>>722950340
i cater to the spoiled/wealthy while risking my life for the minimum wage from 9-5
>>
I sit and watch people who are off their tits, write stuff down, occasionally and make them even more off their tits before dumping them on other people.
>>
>>722953958
no problem, alot of us are here
>>
>>722953923
gypos are minted from ripping off nice folk
>>
>>722953924
Pretty much this in a nutshell. It's not hard to read people. Just apply that to some mystisim and a specific medium (hands, cards, stones whatever.) I've watched people 'read fortunes' with fucking forks before.
>>
>>722951754
That means you're wrong 50% of the time. They can literally guess randomly and have the same success rate as having you.
>>
>>722954023
organ surgeon
>>
>>722954000
Pizza delivery?
>>
>>722953908
Pizza engineer?
>>
>>722953881
that's a shame, maybe another time then

>>722953945
then is it your only source of money?
>>
>>722953970
Bingo. Overpriced, underpaid, and hate my co-workers so much. If dubs an hero.
>>
I tell people to get on the ground, then claim their money
>>
>>722954085
>>722954023
obv psychologist
>>
>>722954000
fireman ?
>>
>>722954023
Psychologist? GTFO Mariah.
>>
>>722953999
Got a deck of playing cards? Just pull 3 out, or better yet. Don't and understand that even if my 'powers' were real nothing I say tends to have any real consequence on people.
>>
>>722953999
Trips demands a tarot reading
>>
>>722954063
winrar
>>
>>722950631
still wondering about this one.
>>
>>722954113
So close but I guess it's my destiny to make da pizza. I am the light in the darkness. The gateway between safety and starvation. I'm a lite sauce guardian. The restaurant needs me, I'm the hero it deserves. I am
>The Pizza Guy
>>
>>722954148
goalssss
>>
>>722954113
winrar
>>
>>722954148
Nigger?
>>
>>722954148
nignog ?
>>
>>722953158
Lumberjack?
>>
I make hot stuff wet, some times I make shitty cabriolets
>>
>>722954276
bingo
>>
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>>722954218
>>722950631
MTG/YugiOh/pokemon sales
>>
>>722954173
i have an actual tarot deck, i could use that one hah
>>
>>722954173
card shark ?
>>
I say words that have been written down in order to show people what other people are like
>>
>>722954329
Do what I have my clients do, shuffle your deck 3 times. Split it 3 times, then flip over the card on the top of each stack. Let me know what they are, your earlier trips demand a reading.
>>
>>722954102
>then is it your only source of money?

Me, yeah, if you count what I get for selling the things as well as flying them.

Even then, my wife makes more than me -- but I get us more free trips, either through getting her n the team for an event or just racking up air miles.
>>
i type strings of numbers and letters on a computer
>>
>>722953125
Close enough, I'm an Astronomy professor.
>>
>>722950340
I sell products that are harmful and healing, natural and genetically modified.
>>
>>722954403
cool life lad
>>
>>722954085
Close
>>
>>722954452
web designer ?
>>
I put things together so that lazy people can continue being lazy.
>>
>>722954481
chemists ?
>>
>>722954403
well that's honestly a pretty chill life

good on you anon
>>
>>722950340
I issue plane tikcets for nigger doctors.
>>
>>722950340
I wear a beret, I like boats, I'm allowed to shoot people, I travel a lot, I spend a long time away from my family, some people would pay an arm and a leg to do my job.
>>
>>722954085
>>722954023
>>722954149

Nope
>>
>>722954572
sofa maker
>>
>>722954492
It don't suck. I'll never get rich, but damn if I don't have a good time.
>>
>>722954613
terrorist ?
>>
>>722954631
Well Done =Winrar
>>
>>722950410
I do this too.
>>
>>722954572
You work at a place that offers Free Assembly!!! on their product. Likely beds or sofas or something.
>>
>>722954597
ape handler ?
>>
Stage actor.
>>722953402
>>722953373
>>
I go up with a lot of people.
goodluck with finding this one
>>
>>722954402
left stack strength
middle stack temptation
right stack high priestess
>>
I press buttons and yell at people for being dumb. Press more buttons. Read what people are doing. Stop people from doing things I don't like
>>
>>722950340
I use my hands
>>
>>722954597
Doctors without borders? Exdee
>>
>>722954808
You're single and unemployed?
>>
>>722954768
lift attentant ?
>>
arrange gatherings of crying people.
>>
>>722954768
air hottness
>>
>>722954883
paedo priest ?
>>
>>722954883
you work at a funeral planner
>>
>>722954849
>>722954768
Ill make it a bit more easier.
I go up with a lot of people by pressing a lot of buttons and talking to people that control where we go however theres someone in the same workspace that can do things equally as good as me
>>
I light things on fire so that things don't light on fire and fall out of the sky.
>>
I talk to stupid people about simple things that they seem to see as magic
>>
>>722950340
I have a boner in my hand all day
>>
>>722954943
plane pilot
>>
>>722953883
thats the point, badly describe it, be vague
>>
>>722954987
prostitute?
>>
>>722954943
Pilot ?
>>
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>>722950340

I pick things up and put them down
>>
>>722955010
>>722955036
Correct
>>
>>722954642
Nope.

American detected.
>>
>>722954323
wrong.
>>
>>722954938
Funeral director, but yeh.
>>
>>722954974
arsonist ?
>>
>>722954613
Beret?
Probably a royal marine commando
>>
>>722955030
Nope. I pound meat
>>
>>722950340
I stand in an hot ass room all day and never seeing sunlight but once or twice a day
>>
I sit around receiving currency for having acquired a mental illness, however now I feel better but still receive money.
>>
>>722955104
marine ?
>>
>>722955153
a leach?
>>
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I write down what some guy tells in a room every day, then every few weeks I have to write to the dude what he has been saying, then eventually it's summer and I needn't anymore.
>>
>>722955141
Butcher ?
>>
>>722954781
Temptation? You're off the beaten bath on decks that for sure, 8-bit or something I'm guessing? Either way.

Strength shows someone who's been through many struggles, many of which haven't been physical. It's required through your life (but especially recently) for you to be patient. You've learned the hard way that such a beast is better at your side than slain. Keep working on this, this card shows up when this sort of mental fortitude and patience is a struggle, but eventually you'll win out over the beast that makes such a thing difficult.

Temptation shows me that right now you've kind of locked yourself in your own bindings. You know that there's something wrong going on, it's a big issue in your life but at the end of the day you and you alone hold the key to escaping it. I think this ties well into the strength card. It says to me that you haven't had enough fortitude to escape this situation and now you feel trapped. You know at the end of the day you're the only one with the power to fix it but it's still a struggle feeling all that weight pulling you down. Just remember, anon. You've got the key to unlock yourself from such bindings. The devil loves it when we cloth ourselves in shackles freely.

As far as the high priestess goes, your future. It's one of mystery, and leads me to believe you're at a heavy crossroads in your life. You're unsure of what path you need to walk down to escape Temptation and continue growing in Strength, but the High Priestess is letting you know that a decision -will- be made. She's a symbol of mystery and one we only overcome when we go on that inward journey to accept things we otherwise wouldn't want to. So keep working on your struggles, understand that time and acceptance, and a bit of action will help to free you from the issues plaguing your life. And know that greater things come down the road -if- you take that action.
>>
>>722955142
furness steel worker ?
>>
>>722955181
Bingo
(isn't socialism beautiful)
>>
I watch a screen, look under things, stop people, call people, and write stuff.
>>
>>722955153
>everyone on here ?
>>
>>722955243
this much of a scam kek
>>
>>722955201
stttttuuuuuuudeeeenntttt
>>
>>722955273
Ill give a hint, I love water and never see my family
>>
>>722955285
stalker ?
>>
>>722952386
>I type necronomicon worthy sentences to keep the cloud(s) from falling on our heads.
Nobody? Peasants.
>>
>>722950340
i kill people

i'm a doctor
>>
>>722955352
deep sea diver ?
>>
>>722950340
I use electrical currents to force metal to bind together.
>>
>>722952629
Do you use Splunk or similars for you job then?
>>
>>722955345
I hate to break this to you and shatter your perception of all mediums but...NO FUCKING SHIT. I stated earlier even if you believe someone has 'powers' the ability to read people when you're right infront of them is not that hard at all.

The problem comes when you say something stupid, it ends up being right and they break down crying. I fucking hate that.
>>
>>722955411
welder ?
>>
i call to old people and beg for their money without giving a fuck about their life situation
>>
>>722955135
Bing-fucking-bong!
Give that man a prize, RMC checking in.
>>
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>>722955347
Exactly
>>
>>722955411
Either u a welder and did a shitty job on explaining badly or u are a eel handler and made it really well.
>>
>>722955403
Getting warmer, but still so far away, its about 10 degrees down here
>>
>>722955243
thnks man, even if its a scam or something, this are always relaxing to read and receive in my opinion
>>
>>722955077
I would have guessed homosexual
>>
I feed, watch, and take care of 8 tiny blobs of flesh.
>>
>>722955460
Bet you earn good money doing this, kek
>>
>>722955524
130*
>>
I tell assholes who don't know what they're doing how to use things they don't need to fuck up what they were told to do by someone whose language they don't speak for more money than I'll ever get paid.
>>
>>722955538
Professional pedofile?
>>
>>722955474
charity conman ?
>>
>>722955518
Woo!
>>
>>722955584
Nope
>>
>>722955518
how many confirmed kills have you lad ?
>>
>>722955460
haha what do you do when this happens?
>>
I take things and put them in hot shit so people can get nourishment from them.
>>
>>722955181
*leech.
Read a book.
>>
>>722955638
top kek
>>
>>722950340
pick things up, put things down.
>>
>>722955626
Amateur kiddie fondler?
>>
I make fake body parts that sometimes do not work and are overly expensive to give to people who are severely injured and probably already in hospital debt.
>>
>>722955638
A gentleman never divulges how many pussies he's fucked.

(Deffo pinged 6)
>>
i get payd to assemble a prebuilt room every house has
>>
>>722955529
Always. It can help open you up to things you wouldn't normally look at either. I ride in the middle personally. If you work the circuit a lot of people will tell you that you're a psychic through and through. I try not to believe too much in that because at the day you're trying to give people direction in their lives. Sometimes just giving them good direction is better than what you're gut might tell you.

>>722955541
Seriously, I do. I charge 10$ for a 1 card reading at my table. 20$ for 3. It takes maybe 10min max for a 3 card reading. I always get big tips, and in the time of my career have had ONE person tell me I was wrong.
>>
>>722950340
i try to extract shekels by taking my clothes off
>>
>>722955682
kebab shop mudslime ..?
>>
>>722955752
Nope
>>
I take wood and put it in your house
>>
i smile at people and sell them poison in the hopes they'll give me money
>>
>>722955691
no, leach
they arent a blood sucking creature, they are draining resources.
I.E a leach
>>
>>722955805
carpenter?
>>
>>722955772
Good Work Fella !
>>
>>722955797
So either stay at home parent or 4chaner/retard tamer
>>
>>722955775
kitchen fitter ?
>>
I travel great distances without moving
>>
>>722955682
taco bell
>>
I can stab my customers and they also pay me for that
>>
Other people take different things and put them together and sell them to me. I remove some of their work, the sell the remaining to other people for more money. Then those people stick my work in the ground for even more money.
>>
>>722955882
Neither, closer to the stay at home parent though
>>
>>722955910
nein
>>
>>722955776
Respect lad
>>722955782
stripper
>>
>>722955886
yeah ikea ein shrenerein
>>
>>722955824
barman ?
>>
>>722955912
accupunist ?
>>
>>722955912
Acupuncturist
>>
I hit the buttons but not all of them so the stuff goes.
>>
>>722955906
train driver?
>>
>>722955945
chaturbate. close enough.
>>
>>722955916
grave robber ?
>>
>>722956075
Close. To my company, I'm just meat in the seat
>>
>>722955646
I normally go and hug them honestly. Quick story.

Lady comes to the castle I'm working at during a show, she wants a 1 card reading. There's no family or friends with her...she looks kind of lonely and pretty sad. She draws a single card called "The Hanged Man".

I tell her about how she had some news come to her, something she just has to accept. The wheel of fate is turning and there's nothing she can do to escape this hurdle in her life. I apologize to her and tell her that she'll have to keep moving forward for her own sake because I know this will be a struggle.

She breaks down sobbing telling me she was just diagnosed with cancer, it's bad, and she's not sure if she wants to go through with treatment. She hasn't told her family.

I just held her for a while...there's nothing else you can do, you're there to help people, to ease their fears and guide them. I don't feel like I did that well then.
>>
>>722956096
Not even close.
>>
>>722955586
yes
>>
>>722956121
airplane pilot ?
>>
>>722956049
Nurse
>>
>>722956046
Nope
>>
>>722956305
Dingggggg
>>
>>722956068
Fc?
>>
>>722955916
Gardener ?
>>
>>722956257
Nope. But, next on the chopping block is getting my private pilot's license
>>
I get paid to sit on a chair and talk to people, and when I'm done talking, they might get free candy for the next couple of months.
>>
>>722953886
How did we not notice that sni-
>>
>>722956522
>>722956096
Oilfield machinist
>>
>>722954974
A10 gunner?
>>
>>722956603
pedophile?
>>
>>722955766
prosthethics engineer
>>
>>722956733
Close, it starts with a P
>>
>>722955916
house seller
Thread posts: 348
Thread images: 16



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