>Be 16, meet handsome shy guy a year older than me >6'5", dark circles under his eyes, kind and quiet >Start talking with him, one of the nicest guys I've met >Helps me with chemistry homework >Hit it off so fucking well, burning crush on him >Commence relationship with him, fall in puppy love, highschool sweetheart >Learn he is depressed as fuck, decide to carry on with relationship >Spend time with him, teaches me about CS:GO, PC builds, lets me play Goat Simulator on his computer for hours, downloads games just to watch me smile and giggle >Find out his dad had an aneurism and became paralyzed, never had a good relationship with him >Mom detached and spoils his psychopath delinquent sister, always ignored by family >Relationship keeps going pretty well >Lose virginities to one another, always gentle with me and patient >Gives me mindblowing orgasms, crying while cumming on his cock cause I love him so fucking much >His depression progresses, he begins to lose interest in everything, no more biking, longboarding, disc golf, failing classes at school >Spend hours every week comforting him, a year passes like this, he is super sensitive and progressively getting worse >Develop motherly feelings for him, taking care of him any way I can >He used to have a great circle of friends, be active, but becomes a recluse and loses interest in everything >I try to get him outside, get him counseling, get him on antidepressants >All he does is smoke weed and sleep, playing H1Z1 and CS:GO all night >One night he thinks he hears a UFO outside, he gets more paranoia, thoughts of suicide, calls me uncontrollably crying, wanting to come to my house and sleep, I agree >Does too much LSD one night, freaks the fuck out, calls me panicking, doesn't know where he is and I have to help him out of his bad trip >Tell him I'm here to protect him, help him stop freaking out
Cont'd:>After this, he completely loses grasp of what is happening in life permanently, depressed, no job, delusional, I watch him spiral into someone I don't know >Wants to seppuku, I talk him out of it >Some good times together, still fucking sometimes, he never leaves the house, I buy his groceries and pay for his counseling, watch him down bottles of liquor and starve himself >I can’t do it anymore, break up with him after 3 years >He goes nuts, shoplifts food from a grocery store, running around outside yelling and screaming, vomits up all the food he stole >He spams my phone with hundreds of messages >A week goes by of him binging and purging, his mental state declines, loses tons of weight >Calls me crying his eyes out weekly, messaging me talking about suicide and how his life is pointless >He gets diagnosed with schizophrenia shortly after, taking antipsychotics now, he doesn’t have a home, got kicked out of both his parents houses >Months after we broke up, he is telling me he still loves me and I was his only happiness
He is admitting himself into the hospital tomorrow, he is on suicide watch. I honestly don’t think I can help him anymore, /b/. He was so amazing, he understood me in the beginning, but his old ego was totally aborted. It is so fucking weird watching someone spiral into abstract delusions and question reality along with them. He kept experiencing synchronicities and odd connections between everything. He sincerely thinks I’m some sort of goddess and I’m the only one who can comfort him. He is obsessed with me. I broke up with him and told him that if he was stable and working by 11/27/2017 then I would date him again but I don’t think he will make it until then, and if he does, I won’t even know who he is anymore. It almost feels like, unless medicine advances so much in our lifetime, he will live a life of pain and fear. It is almost like if he really does an hero, he will be in a better place.
>>721830501 Maybe it hasn't registered yet, sometimes grief takes a bit. You'll probably feel it when you have to give away her half eaten bag of food or when she doesn't greet you at the door when you come home.
>>721829854 Sadly i feel like thats gonna be me in the future literally im starting to fail my classes cuz of 0 friends and starting to lose interest in things,start to develop extreme anxiety alonh with a bit of depression.
>>721830252 This. >>721829946 I had to give up my dogs against my will. Had them for nine years up until that point. Saw them taken away in the back of a strangers car in an attempt not to have them put into a shelter. I'll never forget the looks on their faces when that car drove away. Life all shat on me during that time frame.
>>721831448 Yea that was me last year, failed 3/10 of my classes in 2016 was drinking prob 4 nights a week min and high all the time. Luckily my standing academically was able to suspend itself due to previous years of good work ethic.
So with that said, my lifestyle has been improving recently but due to discipline and attempts at keeping an objective mindset toward inputs and outputs of life decisions.
My only advice is go talk to someone, maybe a professor you liked but no longer have a class with anymore and just have a conversation with them. This will likely lead to a full fucking breakdown on your end. That's alright though it will feel great to be heard and also hear yourself.
>>721832508 Fuck it, story time because I'm fucking miserable. I'm on my phone so forgive grammar and auto correct errors.
>be about 3 years ago >sophomore at uni, and things are going alright >just got out of a year long relationship and was recovering from that >meet 10/10 girl in mess hall for a brief moment >short hair, huge tits, nice ass, perfect figure >exchange a word after we both realize a lack of milk to go with cereal >part ways >friend says I should've gotten her number, but I justify that I'm not a home wrecker, as she was already sitting with some dudes >don't think much of it >some days pass >she's sitting with some dudes I know >decide I'll get her name at the very least >find out her name is Deb >brief conversation ensues but I leave because I have to go be responsible
Ima get my computer and continue if anyone is interested.
>>721829854 I started talking to this girl on discord a few weeks ago. She's a couple years older than me, she's married and has 3 kids. She's really sweet, funny, caring. She seems like a really good person. She says she loves her husband (I can tell she does because she has cute nicknames for him) but she says she isn't attracted to him physically anymore. She says sex is more for him than it is for her... but he's still a great father and and really cares for his family
I can tell she's really into me and I'm into her too. She goes out a lot to "shop" but I can tell she's just doing it for some alone time to talk to me without having her kids and husband around. She lives across the country from me so meeting up is not possible. She's already emotionally cheating...
This just makes me depressed and makes me reconsider getting married some day. To think that my wife can lose all attraction for me and only keep me around because I'm a "good man" for her and her kids. I genuinely feel bad for her husband.
>>721829854 can schizophrenia develop from paranoia. I don't necessarily hear voices but when i'm thinking about something for too long i hear it outside my head. Like if im thinking of a song in my head out of nowhere i'd hear someone whistling it even when im home alone or some shit. Or if i'm thinking of someone i might hear their voice outside my head
>>721834156 You know what he means faggot. She's taking little steps in her head to actually start fucking other men. She's finding console by crying on other men's shoulders, next she'll be crying on their cocks.
Cont >skate around my campus because I'm an edgy faggot >actually its because I couldn't make friends in high school and I needed a hobby to distract me >anyway, run into Deb again, and she stopped me >barely noticed her, but I stopped to chat >long story short, I talked her into taking me to her favorite little mom and pop shop down town for some coffee >fast forward to aforementioned day >we take the bus down town and get to this shop >best coffee I've ever had >learn more about Deb but mostly that she's really into some kick ass music >talk about all our favorite bands >evening comes >she has a nickel board and we skate around campus and hang around >end up on a hill overlooking the town I know this is starting to sound like a cheesy romance story, but bear with me >didn't plan on it but ended up just sitting there and cuddling sort of >as we begin to leave we sort of face eachother and next thing I know, we were exchanging spit >end up spending the night at her place >fast forward some months after this day >we hadn't really done much because she said she felt we were moving too fast >I agree and we remained friends who talked
>>721834452 Nope, but I do believe that those with a genetic predisposition to mental issues can have the symptoms amplified by drugs. Or they have issues with drugs because they are mentally ill and it is an escape.
>>721834419 He's just saying that if it was his wife doing that behind his back he would feel very depressed. You know, usually you expect the woman you love and that says she loves you to not do shit like that.
What's your point faggot? You're just manipulating shit and missing his point.
>>721834562 I always feel like something bad is going to happen when I used to smoke weed. Like I'd rarely enjoy it, it would make me very full of anxiety and paranoia and it seems like it just amplified by much more what i already had.
Many doctors say that marijuana smoking can cause schizophrenia, since it's very in your head.
My friend's brother was an ambulance driver and he used to smoke weed daily...well it got to the point where he locked himself in a hotel for a week and he thought the TV was talking to him. So yeah, even weed can cause you to lose your mind, and you're talking LSD and stuff. That's crazy.
I hope he makes it. He needs to find beauty in life anew, he needs to find something worth living for again. And that's not in you I'm afraid, he needs to find something inside of him that's worth fighting for, worth living, worth building.
If it's just you then he'll always be dependent on you like you're his mother or something. He needs to find the strength inside himself again. He needs to figure out why he's broken inside.
He must get counseling. He must. THere's no other way. Meds may make it worse eventually, but if he's on the verge of suicide maybe he should stabilize himself, at least should use anti anxiety meds but he'll probably just abuse them.
>>721834684 Nah, that kind of thinking is for degenerates. Go through life being a degenerate, enjoy it while it lasts. Let's see where that gets you. Just remember don't have an identity crisis at 40 or eternally because you're not a decent human being.
>>721834698 Bro you have to realize that life is more important than just your looks. Most of the time people don't care about your looks unless they're thinking about you romantically or sexually, and most people don't want to fuck most people in general. So why are you worried. Post your picture and I will tell you the truth.
I've struggled with the same problem, and started balding at 17, but I'm 27 now and more or less accepted it bro.
Post your picture, I won't save it and no one on the internet will ever know who you are.
>>721834748 Smart. Doing drugs will only make those prone to mentall illness and suicidal thoughts and depression 10 times worse or more.
Don't even think about it besides an occasional beer.
I'm depressed, tried heroin, now I've been struggling to get off of it for 3 years, and I was the last guy to get addicted to anything. Thought I'm smarter than anyone else. I was hooked within 2 months and didn't know it. By year one i admitted i was addicted.
>>721829905 If you really love him you shouldn't have broken up with him because it's not his fault he has a mental illness, losing you probably just made his depression worse, I understand this shit isn't easy but he needs your support. Getting him on the right drugs should help, although it depends from person to person, weed can greatly help with many mental disorders. I have a mild form schizophrenia that I manage to keep in check without antipsychotics, weed helps when depression or being upset threatens to cause an episode.
>>721834326 cont >slowly, I try and work my magic and at the end of the year, we were dating >what ensues is probably one of the best summers I've had >we go swimming all the time >fuck constantly >go outdoors and stargaze >go see some concerts >overall, we grow a lot closer and she ends up practically moving in with me by the end of the summer >fall hits and something seems wrong >out of nowhere, Deb doesn't know if she really wanted to be with me >I don't understand but there's a month break in our relationship >we end up getting back together but with some rough times ahead maybe you guys were expecting a feelsy love story or some bullshit, but this is where shit really starts to hit the fan >after about a year of dating, Deb breaks up with me when I thought things were looking up again >beg her to stay >last words she says to be before I leave her place a fucking mess >"I promise you mean so much to me" >I don't know why those words get to me everytime >FF about a month or so >my parents are talking about getting rid of our dogs that we've had for 9 years because no one is home to pay attention to them >suggest that I take them to my place >have dogs for a brief period before my landlord throws a bitch fit to get rid of them out of nowhere >given 72 hours to try and find a new home for them >knew if they were in a shelter, they would be separated and would probably end up euthanized because they weren't too young >found a girl to take the dogs >she has cats, which they hate, but I have no choice >last I saw of those two was their faces in a car window of a strangers car looking confused >probably dead now >FF another month or so >landlord is kicking us out and not letting us renew our lease >given a month to find a place during a time when houses/apartments aren't really available >stressing out but find a place in the worst part of town >literal Mexican gangbangers and occasional gunshots
>>721835041 People don't want to associate with someone who's ugly af. I've been called creepy for just walking around places minding my own business. I have most things I want in life, I just need an SO and other people to interact with, like a normal, social human being. Doesn't work though
>>721835189 Dude I tried for 3 years to help him and it only got worse and worse. It isn't easy to financially support someone when I'm still a young adult. I do still love him, but I'm putting distance between us for a year until he is stable, unless he an heros before then.
>>721835311 >Real medicine There are no "Happy pills" friend. Chemicals don't make you feel, Do they sit there and weigh out the chemicals to see if you have an imbalance? no.. they just say oh well you have a chemical imbalance lets just make you take all this shit that will make you high in different ways.. most of which increase the chances of suicide. Why? Because it induces an altered state of mind.. it doesn't magically make you feel happy.
>>721835327 cont >not very much later, get robbed about 1000$ in a car insurance claim fraud >at this point, too broke to try and sue, so I bite the bullet and pick up hours at work >start failing classes because shit hitting the fan and no time to study >starve for about a month because I can't afford groceries, rent, utilities, tuition, health insurance, and being robbed all at once >semester is coming to a close >walking with my head down to one of my classes one day >look up at the sound of my name being called by a familiar voice >Deb is arm in arm with another guy >she smiles and waves and walks on by >I nod and watch them go by >at this point, I'm numb, for a lack of a better word. I don't know how else to describe this >wonder why I haven't killed myself >friends stop giving a shit about me because they either think I'm being a bitch or they have other people to attend to >keep pressing on in an attempt to move out of the ghetto >at the end of the year, end up failing a few classes, but move out of the ghetto
anyone even care if I post the rest? because I'm stopping here otherwise.
>>721835481 > Yeah I know what you mean. People tell me i look unapproachable or some shit. Been in college 4 months now and still not friends, eat lunch by myself. Idk if I'm ugly or look mean or what...anyways....I know what you mean man.
>>721835311I'm A biochemical engineering student so I design drugs study their effects etc... As for weed it doesn't cause mental diseases such as schizophrenia however if you have a dormant mental disease such as schizophrenia it can be triggered by drug use (including weed). However weed in particular does not worsen the symptoms and can help manage with the anxiety component of the disease as well reduce the chance of having episodes in certain people.
>>721835654 True, you're not the same "you" under antidepressants or whatever...Guess you're under some "fog," even if the fog is one that makes you productive. That shit is unnatural, true.
I wouldn't take it unless I was a total mess. I guess some depressed people take the meds and see how shitty their life is and now have the guts and energy to go through with anhero cuz they see how much behind they are in life.
>>721836311 I will complain because she's trying to get support and advice on what is happening in her life and alot of these guys don't care and just want to see her body. Probably gone by now too. So disrespectful.
>>721835654 Depends what you're talking about, benzo type antidepressants won't incrase the chance of suicide, the altered state of mind is also the whole idea of antidepressant medecine, they alter you're depressive state of mind to a state where you can be more functional and are able to forget what's bothering you more easily
>>721836068 Well then how would you explain someone like me who has social anxiety and only feels his best or at least comfortable or OK at home and when I take 3 or 4 hits of weed I become so anxious I feel like I'm gonna die. I overthink things so fast and so much, I feel how people judge me when they stare at me, I feel judged, I feel like a loser, I feel worthless, I overanalyze every decision I made in my life and instantly think of 100 embarrassing things I've done all at once.
Yeah, I don't enjoy weed. Guess I'm just not the type for weed, huh?
>>721836585 I don't know if you post was bait but in the off chance that you were being serious... Wtf dude who gives a fuck... give some shitty advice and get on with it. Why do you honestly care so much?
>>721835373 Nice. But onto your problem. Don't get back with him. Not only will it hurt you because meds or not he will always be unstable. There is no cure for schizophrenia. My grandmother had it. And I suffer from a milder mental illness. But you also have to think of him. You CANNOT be his only reason to live. That is not good for him mentally. He has to learn to cope with his disease. You would only be enabling him otherwise.
>>721836448 Yep. And now from 20 to 27 I spent 90% of my life in my room. I have no one or nothing to share anything private with like a good friend. For my 27th no one wished me happy birthday even, not a single person nor family.
My mom remembered a week later.
Yeah, well those people tend to be people who are very manipulative so they gossip about people, cause drama, enjoy drama, so people keep them around cuz they're interesting.
Post picture bro, maybe all this is in your head. I'll be honest.
>>721836649 I understand, but if you make a habit out of this online, it can easily carry over into real life, and once again, her feelings, anyone's feelings, should be paramount. You know, being Human.
>>721836897 Yeah I know what you mean. I actually agree with you. There are a lot of good people on 4chan, a silent army, a silent guardian. We watch, and we observe. But we're ready, we're ready to protect what's good if the time comes.
>>721836840 >>721836739 >>721836481 I have been trying to move on a bit and date around but I keep having too many feels. Recovering is a bitch. I am in contact with his mother and she knows what is going on. I am thinking of giving him a shot again in the future unless I find a new guy, but I know I was an enabler when we were together.
for you dudes then >>721835951 cont >trying to slowly build up my finances again so I don't have to face the same situation as before >life begins to get as good as it is willing >working and going to class >nothing more, nothing less >friends are all now in relationships or found new people to hang out with >pretty much distracting myself with work and school >graduate and my parents seem to be the only ones that are proud >now trying to look for jobs so I can get on with moving out of this town >about a week ago, around the same time as my birthday >learn that my grandfather is dying >haven't seen him since middle school >feeling reasonably pissed about life, but no one to vent about >be my birthday >few friends show up >have some drinks play some games >feels like old times >begin to open up because I haven't had decent human interaction in a while >talk about how useless school was >my friends take offense thinking I'm undermining their college career and the night almost ends in a fist fight >decide its not worth it and apologize >only good thing to come from my birthday is the fact that my grandfather didn't die >he makes a miraculous (and I mean miraculous) recovery after a 95% blockage in his heart was cleared >begins to recover from pneumonia he had also caught because of how weak he was >be today >been a few weeks since my birthday >now sitting at my office applying for jobs at 1 AM >got to be up for work soon
Thats all I got. I'm just feeling super down at the moment so I thought I'd share my story with some of you because I've held it in up until now. AMA if you wish. I'd appreciate questions actually
>>721837114 Nah, white knights are cucks and fags. We are real men. And we charge. We charge your life and your pride and after our punishment we install some dignity into your hard drive fegit get rekt m8 8/8 b8
>>721836575 As I said it differs from person to person, our bodies process chemicals differently and they effect different people in different ways. That said, High THC with low CBD strains(more sativa genetics) are more prone to causing panic attacks and paranoia than strains with high CBD, also when you're not used to smoking or haven't in a while this can happen as well as when you smoke too much. As for controlling such anxiety or bad thoughts, its all about telling yourself its just the effects of the drug and thinking about something else, I usually watch some series or game while im stoned so I won't end up thinking about my depression and shit.
>>721837129 It will take time. It may even feel like it will never get better. But it will. If he is like you say he is, then this is life and death. He has to be able to learn to cope without you. With meds and enough time and therapy he can be relatively normal. But not with you enabling him. I hope that doesn't sound harsh. It'll be better for both of you to be apart.
Plan on killing myself in just over a year if things don't get better. I feel really stupid for feeling 2017 was going to be better, and it was for a short while until everything fell apart in the same week.
>>721837392 Just because noone was there for me in my time of need, doesn't mean someone else doesn't need someone in theirs. Beyond that, I can't really explain it. Also saved many people. About 8 different people who were about to end it, and I stopped them.
>>721837407 I wonder the same thing sometimes. But to be honest, I'm just afraid to be alone for the rest of my life. It feels good to have someone who loves you and to be able to make them happy as well. It sort of makes life worth living. Its what I've come to realize recently. Life is hard to live without someone to live for. And I know people always say live for yourself, but it can only be so satisfying. I'd say its worth finding someone if you can.
>>721837810 reminds me of my birthday, just usual loneliness and depression. My crazy aunt got hissy with my aunt to leave early because my aunt was being nice and drug me out early in the morning to a vetrans day parade. I mean im not really depressed i do hate myself badly sometimes im kinda lonley but i have a roaring thunder everything will be ok.
>>721837836 Plus if he was having a rough time while you two were together it might trigger his depression again if he did get better and you two got back together? I know with my anxiety I will naturally get it around certain people/situations and it takes a massive amount of willpower to get over it.
>>721837869 Got no money beyond that I need to survive, which isn't much. >>721837990 People have been saying that, or something to that effect, for years now. And it hasn't gotten better, not once. It's steadily gotten worse. When I look at the future I see an abyss.
>>721837612 Why not do heroin instead and at least enjoy some of your life before you kill yourself? I mean, let's say you killed yourself? Then what?
Might as well do some drugs, some good downers and watch some good shows and movies while you're high.
That's what I did. Best decision ever. I'm addicted now though and I spend all my money on heroin. Been addicted for almost 3 years. Best and worst decision ever. But whatever. I didn't kill myself tho.
>>721837614 I'm glad I could help. I know it's going to be hard. But I think you can do it. Who knows. Maybe years from now he'll even thank you for giving him that distance. My wife's cousin is bipolar and has tried suicide multiple times because of breakups. That kind of obsession has to be cut immediately or else it only gets worse. You can do it OP.
>>721838053 To be honest, I'd never talk to him again if that would help him get better. We occasionally send one another memes and we are still friends on social media, maybe seeing me post things just makes it harder on him and "triggers" him, so to speak. >>721838115 I am gonna be okay, thanks for asking. I am actually pretty surprised at the kindness of this thread, thanks fags <3
>>721837893 Honestly, the more I think about it the worse the outlook. Just like how that girl left you and you didn't even know why, all girls eventually will. It's because we as men look for women to confide our feelings in because if we tell men then we're ridiculed. We think we can only trust our secrets with a lover, but women aren't built for it. They'll get bored after they know everything about you and they don't need to confidence their secrets in you because they don't have any. Everytime I think about it I can'tell see a good way other than to become gay, but it would only work if you became gay with another straight man.
>>721838282 Not gonna lie, but that is kinda cringey. Something I'd see on facebook. But I'm open to my life getting better, to try and seize an opportunity if I see it. I just feel like it's basically over and I'm simply prolonging the inevitable. Nothing's ever worked for me and any time things could get better it gets worse instead. I'm 28 and alone and, based on how life has been, it'll stay that way until I die.
>>721838183 Nothing that I could make a decent amount off of, I don't own much.
>>721838179 It is hard, I'm grateful for the support, stranger. I don't know why anonymous words of kindness are so fucking impactful >>721838213 I have been doing pretty well as far as work and responsibility without him. If we put it into perspective, he is stepping closer to stability/recovery with his new meds and counseling than when we were together so I guess that is positive.
>>721838481 Okay, it kind of was. XD But if you carry yourself with confidence, use your resources, make an effort to be happy, and show compassion to the people you meet, I'm positive it'll all be alright.
>>721838696 Here's the thing, I did/do all of that anyway. I went into this year feeling pretty good about things, confident about work, laughing more than I have in quite a while and while I'm a somewhat cold person on the surface I do feel for others and try to help out as much as I can. It's not really reciprocated and anything I try doing to change my life for the better ends up making things worse.
>>721838736 Like I said above, I've gone into things with confidence and a positive attitude but things go to shit. And it's not just a few months, or even a year or two, it's been like this almost my entire teenage and adult life. I haven't had a good life and I'm tired of it.
>>721838405 >become gay, but it would only work if you became gay with another straight man. I giggled. But I get it. Unfortunately, I'm a straight dude and a straight dude for life. Another thing we rely on women for is their sexual favors. It may sound shallow but its true. A relationship can't survive without matching libidos >>721838784 Thanks for listening, its all I really need at the moment I think even if its from complete strangers and underage edge lords. This thread has gone to shit
>>721837218 Thats some shit my dude, I would have just ghosted that girl when she said Hi to you with another man. Like no, bitch, its not okay. Anyway, youve made it this far. Keep on keeping on my friend.
>>721839153 I've moved four times in the last three years. I've been to new places but happiness eludes me. And now I have to move back to my home town where there's basically no one because I was screwed out of a job I was promised and my brother's landlord doesn't' want me living with him anymore. Canada by the way.
>met girl valentines day last year, lets call her rose >typical troublemaker, tumblr girl, father issues. >has two children already, but fuck it >wasn't aware of what I was getting myself into because my father passed away a month before and I was in a fuckin daze >inseparable >mother didnt like a thing about it, had rose move in with me and my mother because she had nowhere to go >eventually move out to a shitty property being foreclosed soon but my mom said it'd be better if rose was there and i wasnt >being the person I am I defy her and move into the apartment with rose >FF a couple months, shits crazy, too much partying and drugs, wasnt interested anymore, so we break up and I dip back to moms >5 weeks later, she tells me shes pregnant >attempt at all costs to get her to abort, she declines, continues to party, drink, and do drugs >kind of hoped sometimes she'd miscarry >we try again to date but that only went about a month and a half >rose continues to party >im losing my mind, had to drop classes, worry about my not born yet baby because drugs >eventually she tells me she's aborted >start to get my shit together, applying for universities, saving money, life getting so much better, actually happy >two months later I recieve a picture from her mother that she's still pregnant, in which absolutely nobody knew except a select few >life goes bad again, depression, anxiety, and overthinking more than ever >im going to be a father. >get my shit together quick, rent a shitty apartment in a shitty part of town, but it's not bad compared to chicago south side >get absolutely everything ill need >meet another girl, lets call her lilly >start to date lilly, its nothing like with rose, actually a human being, normal, in college, has a good head on her shoulders >my first born is born, child services take him immediately and place him in my full care, rose isn't allowed to see or care for him ...(cont)
>>721835627 I don't mean financial support, I mean emotional support so that he can keep himself together and not an hero. Me and my girlfriend both of depression issues and if it wasn't for my support she might have become an hero by now. Anyway I'm not trying to judge, I just think that if you really love the person you'd do all you can to help them and walking away the way you are saying I'll date you in a year if your stable will just make him worse, all he'll be thinking about is you with other guys and that's a good way to get someone to an hero
>>721839245 Yeah, I didn't know or see her. My head was down and I just heard my name. In an attempt not to be so rude, I just nodded my head and was left in disbelief and what not. I tell you that shit was hard to get through though. Thanks for the encouragement
>>721838279 Well of course missing you will make him worse, either make it clear that you still love him and will wait for him if he can become stable or just cut off contact because if he's just thinking of you dating other guys and reminiscing when looking at your stuff feeling like he blew it he'll just an hero eventually
>but I still love rose for some crazy reason.. i think? >i begin taking care of my first born, and rose is shortly thrown in jail for a warrant >tell rose ill wait for her >begin to realize how shitty of a person rose is, that our relationships were so fucking terrible, shes crazy >she spouts that she's changed, she was an addict, blah blah yadda yadda all that love shit >begin to realize it'll be a year or longer until shes out >start to miss lilly, how quickly we latched onto eachother, how similiar we were-.. it was actually a healthy relationship >im so used to crazy and fucked up I thought I wanted that over a healthy relationship >dont know what to do
I feel like im obligated to stay with rose because shes the mother of my child, and because im basically her only source of support, that she actually may be changed and better now, because in the entirety of our relationship, weve had some pretty good times, but a lot of bad times as well. Im scared that ill put all my effort into rose and get nothing in return
lilly said shes up for a relationship with me anytime no matter what, because we broke up on good terms
should i stay with the mother of my child or get back with lilly?
>>721839649 >>721839676 I am still here, I'll post face pics if you post pictures of your dogs/cats/cute animals >>721839755 He does worry about me dating other dudes. And I do post a lot, he heart reacts all my stuff on facebook and shares my things on his page, I'm afraid it'll destroy him if I block him out, but anything is worth a shot if there is a chance at him getting better
>>721839834 I'm a practical person, so I don't believe things will just 'happen'. And if they do happen, I don't want it to be so late that it won't matter. I don't want to be in my 50's settling for some even more pathetic woman who doesn't even like me.
>>721829905 Fellow schizobro here, this is normal behavior around 20 years old. The LSD helps some of us, drives others into madness. He's gonna go thru some shit, but he'll mature, his hormones will get back in balance, he'll learn to manage his emotions better and he should be fine by 25-28. I went through similar shit, I'm 30 now, and by the grace of a beautiful woman who refused to quit on me, I'm a hell of a lot better now.
If you love him, then love him, don't abandon him. If he's actually going into the hospital, good for him. Visit him. It will be hard to see him for the first few months, but you'll notice improvements. Don't let him get out half-baked though. He's going to tell you and everybody that he's all better in a couple months, and he won't be. Honestly, he won't ever be totally okay, it doesn't go away, you just learn to suppress it and distract yourself better.
If he can stay away from sharp objects long enough, you'll have the guy you fell in love with back in about a year.
>>721839676 Actually I have a lot of experience in the matter, what I meant was that if you love someone who an heros and could have supported them, maybe even stopped it you'll regret it for the rest of you're life, trust me, I know from first hand experience and can thank it for my schizophrenia. My gf had a childhood that broke her mentally, our relationship helped her out of her depression and got her to plan for the future. Being with her has also helped keep me stable and in check the rare times i'm not.
>>721840142 I will just have to do what feels right. It doesn't feel right to block him out yet, but it also doesn't feel right to hope our relationship will work. I'm considering moving on if it helps him. I'm pretty much at my wit's end. >>721840147 Posting face pic shortly
>>721839919 please answer this to me how did he start with the schizophrenia? I am currently very depressed and with anxiety attacks and issues and its hell honestly and the last thing I want now is that to happen to me, the schizophrenia that is
>Be 15 >Started dating this one girl super pretty very nice and i quickly ended up flling in love wit her >Girl is bisexual fucking cool no problem >Has this one female friend who she acts way to friendly with >Tell them to calm it down because it makes both me and her friends bf uneasy >Tfw a shitstorm happends >GF let's call her Lili makes accusations i talk shit about her >Everyone believes it >My navie gf actually takes offense that i got "jealous" claiming i think She and Lili would end up cheating on me and Lili's gf with each other even thought i never said anything close to that >We break up >Three months later hearing Lili and her are now dating >Mfw i keked hard
it's so fuckin annoying, when im on the phone with her in jail, its as if shes guilting me into staying with her and she continuously says that not that same person anymore, or that im her only support, all that shit- its more of a problem that im so close with her family, its as if they are my family sometimes
I've got this stupid idea in my head about a white picket fence, house, and cars with her because weve got a child together. Sometimes I even think i should stay with her so she wont create anymore children. shes basically a surrogate(person that becomes pregnant for the sake of another couple) because all her children are with different baby daddies. im so scared my child will be messed up because his mothers got so many different baby daddies, it's three now, god knows how many more shell do.
>>721840630 His schizophrenia started with depression, anxiety, lack of sleep, loss of appetite, loss of interest in his favorite activities, unexplainable and profound sadness, delusions that his family members were trying to kill him, delusions of aliens coming after him and that tap water was poisoned. It started between the ages of 17-19 for him. He also had a rapid personality change.
>>721840257 I can't speak for all the schizos out there, I'm a highly-functioning schizophrenic, and mine was drug-induced. So I can only talk about my own symptoms reliably...
I have constant auditory hallucinations, it always sounds like I'm in a crowd. No single voice is distinguishable, just a lot of murmurs, whispers, the occasional startling shout of nonsense. My visual hallucinations are also constant. The whole world is covered in shimmering, tesselating patterns. Like being on a low dose of acid, 24/7.
However, add stress, negativity, general malaise into the mix, and those symptoms become more pronounced. At its worst, those shimmering patterns turn into portals in the wall that manifest extra-dimensional beings. Voices get louder, start addressing me personally, arguing among themselves about what action I should take next, etc...
But mostly, I fluctuate between manic and depressive on a monthly to bi-monthly basis. Sometimes I'm so low that I can't figure out how to eat a bowl of cereal without having a nervous breakdown. Other times, I think I'm the master of the universe and nobody 'gets it' except me. Just wild swings between feeling like I'm personified dogshit or absurdly all-powerful.
But honestly, if you met me on the street, you'd never know...
>>721839586 My girlfriend mentioned a break once, I got pissed and went through with it, long story short we got back together because we realised we loved eachother and didn't want to be appart, the whole thing did leave a scar on the relationship though, although now its hardly relevant anymore.
If I were you I'd go spend some time with him, feeling alone isn't going to do him any good, also speaking from personal experience when my girlfriend said she'd break up with me in 2 Years if I didn't stop doing as many drugs when I partied I felt like our relationship didn't matter to her as when she said we could take a break, I felt like whether it was me or someone else it wouldn't matter. That's not how she meant it but that's how I took it. So I bet he feels the same when you say that you'll get back together in a years time, its a long time and you'll probably meet other people.
>>721840705 >>721840122 There's a reason that she's not together with the other fathers my dude. You should try to escape the hole you're in with her family and date Lilly or someone while your kid is still young so that they grow up with a mother, but not Rose.
>>721840983 Don't be afraid, there are great resources out there especially if you have healthcare. There are also low-cost counseling places you can find in your areas usually. Meds and therapy help, especially if you start getting treatment before shit gets worse.
>>721829905 >It almost feels like, unless medicine advances so much in our lifetime, he will live a life of pain and fear. Treating schizophrenia has some pretty good results these days, especially when it's diagnosed and treated early in its onset.
It's the root of his issues it would appear, and he's currently dealing with it. Try giving him some support at least for a little while, it can help a lot, rather than putting pressure on him. It's an understandable reaction, but it's counterproductive in treating mental illness.
>>721841073 the only thing close to hallucination I've had. are weird patterns like this guy says >>721840865 but only when I wake up in the middle of the night and just for the first few seconds depression and anxiety and paranoia are there though how can I know for sure?
Gonna come forwards with this. >I'm a Senior in Highschool >Gf graduated >She ignores me on weekdays, won't even reply to text >Only acknowledges me on weekends, and she is frisky on weekends, and frisky is fun and all, but I like normal couple lovey-dovey things as well. Get the feeling she only dates me for sex. >Love her, but I need her more in my life then only weekends. >Made it clear many times but nohing changes. What do?
Haven't posted in a feels thread in over year. you guys always cheered me up. Thanks for that. I miss those nights where I was confused and needed advice and you all would help me out. Now life just feels boring. >I had to leave my home town and start over in a new place because my ex tried to kill me. >a decent looking guy in a college town >but I have a gf and so now all I do is work,play video games, and occasionally drink with a friend.
Don't know if this is better then last year. I don't feel as shitty but at the same time I'm not getting that natural high on life feeling.
>>721834268 I sometimes think about songs or shows that I normally wouldn't think about, only to realize it's playing in the background quiet enough that I can't hear it but loud enough for my brain to pick it up
>>721841543 gtfo whiteknight. we're on /b/ and this attention whore knows what she's doing. I dont come on this board to express my morals, I come here to act like an ignorant racist neo nazi and jerk off. now shoo, faggot
>>721841194 Not sure where you're getting your info, from personal experience or otherwise, but TREATING schizophrenia is more or less non-existent. The best they can do is suppress it with anti-psychotics and mood stabilizers. Problem with schizophrenia is that the underlying thought patterns are affected. So while they can suppress the visible symptoms by fogging up your brain chemistry, the disjointed thought patterns are still present.
Schizophrenia is, literally, a schism (or break) from reality. Simply the inability to differentiate between what is real and what is not constitutes schizophrenia. Often, schizophrenia is combined with psychosis (hallucinations), or multiple personality disorder, but these are separate issues, exacerbated by the thought processes of schizophrenia.
>>721841880 I didn't post it, a different anon did. He isn't my bf, he's my ex as of now. I was supportive for 3 years so I'm not sure I could give it much more. But thanks for the well wishes my dood.
>>721842153 Hey man different anon, but seriously you don't need to be defending every woman that you meet. shes knows what she is doing and doesn't need to protecting her like she is a defenseless animal. You go to respect women but at the same time they are human just like any of us and don't deserve any special treatment.
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