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Do it. You know you need to.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 271
Thread images: 39

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Do it.

You know you need to.
>>
Had 15 decent relationships fail because women are whores, nuff said.
>>
I'm so.. tired.
>>
I eat my own cum
>>
irineu
>>
my farts make me diamonds
>>
I beat the shit out of a pillow once or twice a day pretending it's Cara Delevingne
>>
This faggot at my hs is trying to start shit with me and I wanna fight him but I think if I did fight him I'd seriously hurt him.
>>
>>721797274
why? I'm not judging, I just want to know the reasoning
>>
I love you Sarah!!!!!
>>
I jerk off in random public bathrooms sometimes as much as 3 times a day.
>>
I've practically molested my 12 yo sister
>>
I just found out today that there is 2 holes on the vagina
>>
im fat, god i should try to lose weight seriously
>>
>>721796648
my dog died and everyone around me is really sad about it and I don't really feel sad, am I bad person?
>>
>>721797521
You wanna go into some deets?
>>
Why the fuck dont u just tell me you love me?!
>>
>>721797391
I have this weird obsession with beating and killing Cara Delevingne. She's my favorite actor and I love her as a person but I would love to beat her to death
>>
>>721797612
Fuck off pedo
>>
America = go blow the fuck out of other countries in the name of democracy. Trump wins, we can't let this happen. You motherfuckers are just proving to the world what we knew all along, and that's how dumb you really are.
>>
>>721797726
why does that make so much sense to me?
>>
I wish people would just chill on me. I dont wanna go out and do shit. Im at college to get a degree and not fail.
>>
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iv skull fucked my younger cousin a hand full of times, plenty of times I had her guzzle down my cum while fully in her
>>
I piss sitting down because of ocd
>>
>>721796648
I'm too lazy to make it in life, always slacking off, getting fat, wasting time, dumped twice and hate people :D
>>
I'm moving halfway round the world to chase my ex.
>>
I once fucked a mildly retarded person
>>
>>721796648
I don't think this is working out. I've been with you for 5 whole years now, I've worked my ass off to get to where I am now, and you haven't accomplished a damn thing. You're still morbidly obese, you work part time at Arby's, and have absolutely zero motivation to better yourself and apparently, do anything other than mooch off my paychecks. You can't even give me children. What the fuck good are you if you can't even do something as simple as that? You've had 5 years to prove something to me - anything. And I have seen absolutely nothing.
>>
>>721798331
How was it?
>>
>>721798232
Pissing while sitting is not that abnormal
>>
I beat up a retarded kid in highschool
>>
>>721798419
disturbing
>>
>>721798533
was it fun
>>
>>721798376
I regret ever having asked you to marry me. Yes, you made me happy once, but now you cause me more stress and depression than I can fucking deal with anymore. Fuck off.
>>
>>721798533
Story?
Was he a downy?
What grade?
>>
I'm an arrogant selfish smartass and one day I'm gonna get hurt because of it.

I don't feel like I deserve any girl worth having but my ideals are also unrealistic

God I've got to break my fapping habit or it'll run me

I'm kinda self pitying and I unconsciously fish for complements
>Mfw this entire comment

I'm afraid I'll never amount to anything and I'll degenerate into a consumer, as opposed to a creator of content

I wish I didn't obsess over everything in my mind

I want her so much, but I don't deserve any of it

Hgh
>>
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My IT teachers buddy makes me want to unironically kill myself. His words hurt me. He hates me. I'm the kind of guy that wants everyone to like me, especially the ones i deem cool, and Ed just demolishes my esteem
>>
I hate myself, my lazyness and beeing a whiny little faggot. I don't have time to have friends since i'm on train 2-3 hours a Day traveling to school and back. I don't have the energy to keep up with stuff for school and furthermore to work out and stop beeing a fat little cunt. Didn't have girlfriend for a year now and Didn't have sex for about half a year, which drives me nuts
>>
Hey you /pol/-browsing fuck. You can't claim me as your girlfriend, introduce me to your family, introduce your parents to my parents, then do this bullshit of not talking to me for days on end when I return home (1500 miles away). Pick. Am I your girlfriend or not? Because I'm about to make the decision for you.
>>
I once felt up this chick while drunk as fuck.
>>
>>721797521
Green-TEXT, green-TEXT, green-TEXT!
>>
>>721796648
>get stabbed with 5inch piece of glass
>pull it out
>didn't realise it was so big. otherwise.
>blood poures from me
>blood plasma.

Fuck I loved watching the blood pour from my body.

I have a craving.
>>
Yameroooooo
>>
>>721798295
Good for you. If my current doesn't move around the world with me, I certainly won't be waiting for him.
>>
i slowly come to accept that morality is uselss

going to go into big biz and just fuck up ppl that didnt do anything wrong for my own gains is starting to sound like a really good idea

and on the other side it makes me really sad to see traditional values get crushed by how the world is changing

internally troubling conflict

also can you put children into a world like this?
>>
you fat feminist bitch go die in hell
>>
>>721799273
>>721799723
Post the whole story. For how long did you know eachother? How did you meet in the first place?
>>
Did they just start deleting all of these on /adv/? Why? I hate it here.
>>
>>721798746
To lazy to greentext, there was this autistic kid in gym class who would suck at every fucking sport so we started bullying him for a couple of weeks, saw him in the hall one day and shoved him really hard into the locker. He then pushed me back and started to runaway so I started to chase him. Ended up cornering him in a stairwell and gave him a good beating for like a minute before teachers broke it up. We both got suspended but mine was shorter because my friends and I said he swung first which he actually didn't. I think that really fucked up the kid mentally because the whole school started to bully him and he sprinted away everytime i saw him.
>>
>>721800169
literally scum of the earth
>>
I'm coming up on a 3 year dry spell here in a few months.
This usually wouldn't be a problem for me. I'm a pretty disciplined dude. There have been times where I've lost my cool or just done a dumb stunt, but usually it's explainable and completely understandable when my side of the story is explained. I exhibit good self control. A long dry spell is no big deal usually.

But seriously, every time I have to go run an errand or I start work somewhere, it's like, there HAS TO BE AT LEAST ONE FUCKING BITCH, that ONE bitch, that just shows a little too much cleavage or butt crack. And I know it's on fucking purpose too. They do this shit on purpose and it legitimately pisses me off. It's like dangling a juicy 12oz steak in front of a starving pupper. What kind of sick bastard would do that? The pupper can tough it out, he's a tough pupper, but dangling the 12oz steak in front of him? It's just cruel. I hate when bitches do this.

Like holy fucking shit. It's like, hey, you hate your life faggot? Here, let's collectively all play our part in making your sexual frustration worse than it has to be.

god I fucking hate djokjrdklnrfmknckj4ncjkl4tnckml,edm.skloiu you all
>>
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>>721799832
Listen newfriend. I'm sick of your shit. To reply to a post. Click the post number.
Good lad. Now scamper along.
>>
>>721800383
He's not replying to someone you autist fuck
>>
>>721797475
bitch
5
>>
>>721796648
It's not the highest murder rate in 47 yrs or even close!
The media doesn't cover up terror attacks! Hell, they're good for business. Why the fuck would they cover them up????
America elected a delusional whiny manbaby as president.
>>721796981
If you had 15 relationships fail it might not be because the women were whores
>>
hoe
>>
>>721797475
Cool. I'm a janitor at an office. I make $15 an hour doing the easiest shit in the world, full time mind you, and I get to jerk off in the women's bathroom and wipe my cum onto the seat. It gets me off thinking that the hot ass secretaries are sitting on my cum
>>
>>721799990
Mutual friends. We've been LDRing it for seven months. Wasn't my idea for the parents to meet, wasn't my idea for him to refer to me as his girlfriend. I'm not content with where he's going in life yet and I - in my final semester of college - am just figuring out where I'm going. But I'm kind of of the mindset that if we're going to have a relationship, we should have a relationship.

Also, consider your sick quads checked.
>>
>>721797186
vc n sabe nem eu
>>
>>721796648
I let my dog lick my dick once. I feel terrible because I love him like a child.
>>
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>>721800497
Autistic*
>>
>>721800749
I also sniff the used panty Liners and tampons that are placed in the feminine hygiene box before I empty it
>>
>>721801050
Oh man, that is gnarly.
>>
I have tomorrow, Friday, and every Saturday every week to look forward to. I have to hold onto that, and I can be me again if I stick to that for a while. And when I finally visit you like I said I would for so long, you may have to deal with a turbo virgin for a few hours before I'm comfortable to be around and stuff. But I'm working on my music seriously again, I'm getting a job, and I'm getting out of the house. I'm losing weight too, so I'll be all thin and cute and fuckable again. I can wear pretty girl clothes and a wig and makeup and we can go out to movies and stuff like that book that made me want to do that with you. Just go out and act like we're girlfriends in public doing girly stuff when we're out at new places. I'll be a handsome guy when we're out with our normal friends and all that. If I'm lucky and work hard, I'll be the person you had the highest expectations for.

I have stuff to look forward to, I can hold on and do the stuff I need to do here for now.
>>
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>>721801050
You do you anon.
I ain't gonna judge.
>>
I'm a Freemason and it's not Illuminati as far as I can tell. Want to know more?
>>
>>721800762
I've never seen a ldr work. had 2 friends whose relationship went to shit after they visited their gf.
>>
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>>721801110
>>
I have:
(1) boyfriend/sexual partner
(3) guys I flirt with/let take me on dates
(5) betas, four of whom are professors
(2) girls I flirt with on a regular basis
(1) soul mate who lives in the UK (I'm in the US)
>>
My dad would fuck all of your dads
>>
>>721801460
can i give your dad the adress of mine?
>>
>>721801460
Questionable
>>
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I can't get dubs lately on 4chan... I..... I just can't!....... and everytime I do I..... I always get singles!...... what is wrong with me???
>>
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>>721801460
Good luck mines dead.

>cremated.
>>
>>721801460

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21UP0frYg-E
>>
>>721797726
t.autism
>>
I thought girls peed out of their asses until I was 13
>>
>>721801537
xd
>>
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>>721801537
>>
>>721801194
Yeah... I am questioning the sustainability at this point due to where he is in life and his contentedness with it. If we're together for a week, it's an amazing time. If we're together for longer than that, I end up frustrated.

It has been seven months, I go through loving him and hating him, and recently I've been having dreams equating him to a total shit head of an ex. Things are not looking good, but I guess I'm just holding out to see if he makes some grand gesture? Or at least gives me back the $40 he owes me...
>>
>>721801614
Same
>>
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>>721801641
>>
>>721801537
I've got your dubs right here fag.
>>
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>>721801694
>>
i've hopelessly fallen for someone i havent met yet
whenever it goes too long without talking i feel worthless, hollow and bored

its like i cant be myself without the affection of someone else

do i even like them ir do i just like how they make me feel about myself?

i miss you, i know you have your own life but goddamn it, surely you know im too shy to double message you because then youll see how needy i am
>>
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>>721797399
.... Eric?
>>
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>>721801761
>>
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>>721801543
Thanks for that cheery message
>>
My dick stopped working two years ago due to a circulatory problem after 7 years of a average sex life. I've always been a giver in bed and some times I can get off on eating a girl out/fingering/etc but sometimes when hooking up I think about how much I miss fucking and I kinda want to die
>>
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>>721801852
>>
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>>721801810
>>
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>>721801957
>>
>>721799731
I can relate to this

Stuff is messed up, just gotta push through it

Also my desire to raise children is far stronger than what I fear they will grow up in
>>
>>721802247
Don't have kids. Those dream-killers are expensive and they hold you back from doing what you love.

Inb4
>But anon, your parents had kids! That's the only way you're here!

Yeah. They did. But doesn't the outlook I have on kids say something about how they did parenting?
>>
>>721801460
My dad would fuck your dad first.
>>
>>721800169
top kek
>>
I've dick slapped my teacup poodle really hard.
>>
>>721802247
>>721802395
i am fairly i am still going to have children out of really selfish self validation (dad left)

well in the direction i am heading you can make a lot of money by being an asshole probably will be able to get them through quite comfortably

>>721802395
i can really understand your argument though not everyone was raised as shitty though
>>
>>721796648
There's this girl I met a month ago, we're going out since the beginning of the week.
But at the same time, a girl I used to talk with on Telegram (she would text me litteraly everyday since october) just blocked me today. Nothing in particular happened, she didn't message me for a whole week and she blocked due today.

Don't really give a fuck tbh but I sill was curious so sent her a message on Skype saying we need to talk. She didn't answer despite being online. So fuck that slut.

Hope this girl I'm with right now won't turn out to be shit.
>>
>>721802395

Boi

*Shaking head*
Boi listen

I was raised in a family of six kids

I've seen/been a part of almost every stage of raising a kid

I know kids take a lot

But if they're not the center of your universe of course they're gonna feel like parasites

I know I'm not gonna change your mind, but I can't imagine any greater joy than raising a child of my own
>>
>>721801184
yes
>>
>>721796648
I cheated on my girlfriend with over 20 different women. All people I got to use over and over again, telling them I wasn't interested after using their mouth and pussy multiple times. Returning to my girl every time. They all know I'm with her and she knows now. Guess I am not a cuck. Just a sociopath.
>>
>>721802808
That's just it - I wasn't raised shittily because my parents have money. On the flip side, I wasn't really raised because my parents have money. I prefer to call it 'trained'... from a distance... mostly by other people.

So don't just revert to
>Oh, I'll be able to support them financially, so it'll all be golden.
Humans need more than what money can buy, especially when they're young.
>>
i have fetish dreams about my sister and i do not feel attracted to her
>>
>>721803166
Ask me questions and I'll answer as much as I can tell you without breaking my Masonic vows.
>>
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>>721796648
I talk to women to get nudes then I drop them.
>>
>>721802999
That's exactly what I'm saying: I wasn't the center of their universe and am still not. I'm like a moon. Or a comet. Something passing, fleeting.
You aren't changing my mind, but you're making me feel feels.
>>
>>721803398
how were you introduced to it?
>>
>>721802999
Trips checked.
>>
>>721803324
happens to me too every once and a while
>>
>>721803398
How do i join?
>>
>>721801614
They don't?
>>
I fucked a depressive girl while she was at the lowest.
She turned out to be a legit schizo and keep spamming me about how she's afraid she gets put in an asylum by "those normal people who can't understand me" because she "sees the future". I ended up dumping her and telling her that I don't want to have anything to do with her anymore.
She committed suicide a week later.
>>
>>721803258
well i can give you a quick rundown

no dad

mom always there as small child

mom never there as medium child

mom always there from teens on because cant get into job anymore

felt the high and the shit life
she said she sacrificed it fully knowing it would be better for my upbringing and i think it worked out quite well in the end

but i can just see how easy this would have been if there was a second part raising the child it seems SO easy to manage all then

dunno maybe its one of these cases where single moms do more than you can understand later on

money would have solved around 95% of the problems we had over the time though
>>
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>>721796648
>>
>>721803473
My uncle and cousin are Freemasons but I don't see them that much. I was intrigued and applied for more info through the United Grand Lodge of England site.

I met up with Freemasons at a lodge near where I live in the UK, and socially they seemed like a good fit so I thought I'd join and see what it's about.

It's easier to get in if you have someone you know already, but if you don't then Freemasons will be happy to spend time getting to know you and telling you about what they do.
>>
>>721797726

cool. kinda normal in the world of parasocial relationships. was thinking about john lennons killer today
>>
I've had sex like 5 times in my life and never EVEN GOT TO CUM ONCE!
>>
>>721803595
You can find a local lodge and ask around, or enquire with the Grand Lodge of your country.

There's no obligations to join if you do have a look so I'd say it's worth checking out for your own curiousity.
>>
>>721796981

the only common denominator is you. You jackass.
>>
>>721803456
Omg whenever I see or hear about parents that treat their kids worse than their dogs
>Feeding their dog, holding it, hugging, kissing, training, caring about in every way
I seriously want to punch them in the face because I don't feel like they even deserve in any capacity to have that child

Your child needs to be everything. I want to be involved with my kids as much as possible
I mean you don't want to smother them
But jeez, parents who treat school like daycare and children like goldfish set my blood boiling
>>
>>721796648
Fuck you op , fuck this moronic threads!
>>
>>721803665
This is my roommate (he's my brother, best friend, awesome guy). His dad was a shit head who left, but his mom worked way too hard to give her kids what she could, and what she couldn't she made up for by showing immense love.

I have a mom, a dad, a college fund, a down payment on a house fund, a monthly stipend, a million-dollar spine... and at various points in my life my parents have dipped out on things that were important to me to work unnecessarily and have let me know they regret having me/giving me what they have. One night, post spine-surgery, my dad got angry at me for something, called me an ungrateful little bitch, and told me he shouldn't have spent the money on my 'new spine'. Without the surgery, I would have collapsed in upon myself and suffocated/died (scoliosis).
>>
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I love you and want you to move to CO with me.
>>
>>721803696
what is it really about?
there's a lodge in the middle of my city that i drive by every few days and i've always been curious.
>>
>>721803665
I guess it comes down to the fact that nobody's childhood is perfect; it's all what you make of it. But I DO think it's important that I realize I couldn't raise happy children. I KNOW I would get immense postpartum depression and the kid(s) would grow up knowing mommy didn't love it.
>>
my name is jeff
>>
>>721803759
Femanon?
>>
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>>721802793
I turned my 360 on and open the disk tray with one quick swipe of my dick.
>>
>>721803937
My parents are the kind of human beings who couldn't find a kindergarten 'good enough' for their kids, so they just started a school. It was one-room-schoolhouse style.

They literally paid other people to home school their kids for them.
>>
I've been jacking it to my older sister for like 5 years
>>
>>721801379
You have:
Sociopathic tendencies and no regard for the feelings of others.
Delusions of grandeur.

I have:
Unresolved issues about a girl who did this same shit to me and fucked me up. I was the boyfriend for a few months and it took me years to get over her because she kept dragging me back in and manipulating me.

I wish I'd told her to fuck off after she dumped me the first time. I still have sex dreams about her from time to time. I haven't seen her in over a year and I'm happy with the girl I've been with for the last two, but I still get fucked up thinking about it sometimes.
>>
>>721804465
pics?
>>
Trump won't get a single cent from me to waste on his idiotic wall. I'm stashing all of my taxes overseas
>>
>>721804465
Are we supposed to be shocked or?
>>
>>721804289

Does it matter? I guess so but it's frustrating when every time you just wanna have some mutually enjoyable sex you end up giving head for like an hour until they cum in my mouth and leave :(
>>
>>721804436
Holy-

I would personally like to throat punch them both
>>
>>721804533
...fair.

And yeah - why do guys always come back, telling me I'm 'special' and that they 'just can't seem to get over' me. Recently, I guy I broke up with by letting him catch me cheating on him started texting me. I have been ignoring him.
>>
>>721804587
Not any more.

You're on some list now bud.
>>
Im going to kill myself in just over a year. I dont have the money to do a last year on earth independent vacation which also incentivises me an heroing
>>
>>721804177
It's a brotherhood and a framework for self improvement, it's a great way to socialise and meet new people. If you're intrigued I know that your local lodge would honestly appreciate you dropping in. There are secret passwords and handshakes and so on, but you'll be surprised at how openly they look after and inform guests about all of it.
>>
>>721804735
But that's just it - I can't hate them! They provide for me SO well... financially.
>>
I nutted in my mouth
>>
Sydney, I really really had some actual feelings for you. I'm sorry I was aloof or whatever but I was only trying to protect us both, it was no reason to completely cut me off you stupid fucking bitch, I hope your life falls apart so I can find you and rub my success in your stupid face
>>
>>721804826
... so it's a frat.
>>
I don't need her
>>
>>721804707
>does it matter?
1) yes it's v important.
2) you either aren't or you are
3) if the latter. Tits or gtfo
4)you're just a faggot not a femanon.
>>
>>721796648
I fucking miss you so fucking much every day it goes by I keep missing you. When I saw you this December you ha changed completely and now I'm still in love with you but you don't want to give it another try because you probably just used the fuck out of me and I'm sitting here more than 5000 miles away wishing I could just see your face one more time because after all the shit you put me through, after all the pain I went through I still miss you and I keep all the fucking letters you wrote to me, all the pictures, the receipts from those times we went out. I still remember how you hugged me one last time before you left and asked me to get as much sleep as I wanted. Because you knew that when I woke up you'd be gone and I couldn't do anything about it. All I want is to go back to the wedding plans, to bbq Sundays with you and my family and talking about how we were like Forrest Gump and Jenny just because you were from The south and had that stupid accent that sticked to me. And that time I told you that I liked you at the food stand and you bought me a taco and you just screamed at me that you already knew I liked you and to shut up. I was scared but you didn't noticed but I still hugged you and kissed you on the car. The first time you kissed me you asked me before we did and after that I couldn't stop at all. And I suffered all the way in that relationship whenever you'd be late, or cancel last minute, whenever you'd just not talk to me and left me there to boil my anger away. But I also lived, the first time we went out and you showed me your music and we went to prom together and got so drunk my parents almost made me cut you out of my life but you begged them for another chance. And I carried you upstairs and sat next to you and played with your blond hair while you rested on me because there was nothing else I wanted to do that night. There's nothing else I'd rather do anymore
>>
>>721804953
Haha it literally is. A very old one. No hazing, some drinking (generally), and overall good vibes.
>>
>>721804826
thanks anon. i'll consider it. i feel a strange pull.
>>
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Isis, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>
>>721804855
>>721799273
Which is probably why I go for guys like this. He has a big family. They even get PJ pants on Christmas morning and they all like... do things together! It is absolutely magical.
>>
>>721805032

So then why would 1-3 apply? Holy fuck
>>
>>721798295
I wish you were my ex
>>
>>721796648
This planet is a prison and I have seen the guards.

I had excrement burst out of my asshole as well as urine from sheer fear

You wouldn't fucking believe what I saw that night
It was real, I have proof
I won't die for it
Nor will I show
Nor will I say more


But know this, this prison is a full blown literal prison
>>
>>721804707
It sounds like you need to find higher-quality sexual partners by having a higher sense of self-worth. Sex is give and take... not just give.
>>
>>721804855
No, hatred isn't right, but at the same time being a parent is about more than money

Imho, there are too many kids in school with therapists because their parents don't take the time to talk to and raise their kids
I understand that parents aren't always equipped for bad depression and stuff, but maybe it wouldn't be that way in the first place if they cared

Idk

Parents just need to care about their kids in every way that they can

And it kills me when I see parents who don't
>>
>>721805042
DRINK, PLEDGE! REEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>721804756
I doubt that fat moron even has anyone running the IRS. Besides, it's a done deal. All the paperwork and everything. I actually don't mind paying taxes if I believe in the direction of my country.

It's very fucking simple: don't play with my money. Don't cut into my hard earned dividends so you can throw money at a fucking wall in a year when more immigrants are leaving than coming in. Seriously. I came into this world wit fucking NOTHING and worked for every FUCKING CENT and this cunt who inherited his wealth wants MY FUCKING MONEY to just fucking dick around with it and blow it on some concrete ad campaign?

He can suck my long, fat dick and fuck the right off. Fuck his wall tax and fuck the American government
>>
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Isis, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo. yeeeeeet
>>
>>721797604
It's just a fucking dog
Everyone mourns in different ways
>>
>>721805168
Forget your ex.

The right guy has been infront of you for months.

Take a chance. Give him a shot.

He can't hurt you any worse.
>>
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Isis, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about too bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>
Here's a Gravity Falls fanfic I wrote.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/9628799
>>
>>721805212

not them but this. truer words have never been spoken. Ex gf was a major bitch that way too
>>
>>721797958
Get a job faggot
>>
>>721805378
Sorry, didn't mean to post this here
>>
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Isis, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. I HATE NIGGERS!. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Isis, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking ded, kiddo.
>>
>>721797958

Asian detected
>>
>>721796981
just move on my dude these bitches never change
>>
>>721805042
Haha! No drinking in my lodge during the meetings, but plenty during our 'social board' if we choose to drink - our dinner after each meeting.
>>
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Isis, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>
My partner made a hurtful remark about my penis size

I understand she was a whore for doing so
I understand she was stupid
I understand it was a jab
I understand it probably isn't as bad as I think

But I can't get over it, and now I have lost my will to fuck because of her

I destroyed her in revenge, yet I felt nothing
I didn't feel good about my dick

And now I wonder why I even fuck my current gf
I wonder if she is faking
I wonder every time she goes half dry

And all I want is to grow my dick, yet no medical way possible

I understand I got trolled, but I don't know how to stop
>>
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Isis, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury alllllll over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>
>>721797958

FUCK YOU FAGGOT. seriously Fuck you. I have literally zero friends. I NEVER get invited to go out, I never even meet people who even show a faint interest in getting to know me and here you are fucking bitching because people actually WANT to be with you
>>
>>721805268
My parents DO talk to me, but when that amount of money is invested, it's like they're checking up on their investment, so there's a lot of pressure for the conversation to go as follows:

>Good evening, young lady. How are you?
>I AM GREAT DAD EVERYTHING IS PERFECT, JUST LIKE I AM. ALSO I AM HAPPY, PRODUCTIVE, AND HAPPY. EVERYTHING IS COOL.
>Are you keeping up with your schoolwork? That's your job right now, you know.
>YES SCHOOL IS GREAT.
>Good. I am paying a lot for you to be there. Work hard.
>THANK YOU FOR YOUR ABUNDANT GENEROSITY, DEAREST FATHER.
>I'm glad you're thankful. I'd like to retire some day, but you, your mother, and sister have me on the earnings treadmill.
>polite laughter<
>Well, keep working hard. Maybe some day you'll do well for yourself.
>THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORDS OF WISDOM AND ENCOURAGEMENT(?). I LOVE YOU.
>...

God I must be a freak in bed.
>>
>>721804751
That girl wasn't special and neither are you. The guys are just feeling low enough that they don't notice or mind that they're being taken advantage of, or they think that you "get" them. Or at least that's what I felt like. I thought the girl was legitimately interested in staying friends after the breakup but she just wanted to keep me in her orbit of people who made her feel good about herself and occasionally have sex with me to keep me interested.

The worst part is, she was the first person I told that I tried to kill myself, and was also a significant part of why I finally admitted that I was depressed and went to get help for it.
>>
>>721804707
I get you, I really do :(
>>
>>721805751

Can you stop acting like you're defending a good board/helping anybody by doing this? They get deleted on its previous home, and this is the place to put it. I'm glad I don't see you do this on other boards, but you are especially not helping anyone at all here. Shitposting will have power on other boards, maybe, if there's something to actually defend. This board is for people who just found the website.
>>
>>721805831

Just be grateful you even have parents you doughy fucking candyass cunt grow a fucking backbone. why don't you have a job bitch? Typical cunt. What are you taking gender studies? Fuck off /b/
>>
EASY D
Easy D
easy d
EASY D
Easy D
easy d
>>
>Warning long wall of text coming


>What career did you pick and why /b?
I'm a systems engineer and love this job and I'm actually very good at it
>Do you regret your decision?
Nope, but I do regret some decisions I have made at my current employer and I a looking at leaving this company
>Why?
I made the mistake a lot of mistakes in this field and I feel like shit these days and can't move on in life, I still remember the good days and just can't seem to move on. Basically at one point I was looked at as one of the best engineers at the company. I was also one of the guys who always worked on everything and always had an answer about something, Any question you might have in my dept, or outside of the dept I would be the go to guy. Unfortunately, after a long time of proving myself to my clients and upper management I started to relax and I began to teach and offload some of my work to other engineers, because they really didn't have much to work on as I had a hand in every cookie jar at the time. Wait ended up happening is some engineers would learn a lot from me, and they ended up taking lead roles on certain projects and assighments, and I wasn't even told about what was going on, since I made it an effort to show upper management I wanted to offload work to other engineers sometime late 2016, at this point I am no longer looked at as the lead guy, and I have a very negative attitude on occasion, I believe other people want me to just leave at this point but they won't say it, they just "learn" from me and ended up moving up in this company. I made a serious mistake of relaxing, and not continuing to work over 10 hours a day, and not be paid overtime. The company won't pay me overtime, as they know the work load can increase and they don't want to pay for someone working extra hard... I still feel bad about this, and I can't believe I let them take things right under me, while I was focused on other things
>>
>>721805730
Holy shit anon I'm sorry
I mean...How small is it?
>>
i planned out a complete psyop involving a false flag operation regarding the "underground church" christian terrorist organization.
i did this under the premise that obongo was the antichrist and that i would be helping him to setup the christians for mass execution and persecution.
now that God Emperor Trump is in office, i feel much better and am considering deleting this digital body of work i've established regarding this psyop.
>i've fooled thousands of ppl with this shit
>im gud at muh job, former 8431 and 0522
>my propaganda game is strong af
>gotta admit, im kinda glad obongo isn't the antichrist and i actually can live my life now..

gotta say though, i'd help out the biblical antichrist if he ever did actually come along though.
I mean, wouldn't you?
>>
>>721806000

Nice get for your sore neck
>>
>>721805367
I wish I could, I've had around 12 rebounds but nothing works for me, I keep hoping that after we are done with college and we are ready to settle down, then it will be the right time and we will be able to give it another shot
>>
>>721796648
Budget Money
Bud-Get-Money
Bud Get Money!
>>
>>721806370
Thnks man, how do you deal with guys using you? Like at least with the emotional part. It's always hard for me to find out I'm just being used.
>>
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I feel like i figured life out. I understand why people act the way they do, make the discisions they make, i know how to make money, I know how to earn respect, I know how to go about doing things, challenging myself, meeting people, blah blah. But no matter how much I try I just can't give a fuck.

I tried meds, but don't like the affects, I've tried talking to professionals, friends, family, tried exercise, meditation, blah blah.

Just can't care. I just sit playing games and smoking weed all day and for the most part really like it. The only real issue is people just will not stop bitching at me.
>>
>>721806566
being used turns me on
>>
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>>721796648
I have this shit apear all over my arms and legs from time to time.
I have no idea what it is, if you can't see its tiny white patches.

Pic v related.
>>
>>721805730

Find someone so tight that you feel huge to them!! It's possible. I'll let you pity fuck me
>>
>>721806816

its cancer
>>
>>721801810
just how I feel
Im too much of a faggot I guess
>>
>>721805831
Idk
Honesty is the most important thing in my book, but that's also wrecked a lot of people's lives

Just do your best, but not to make up for what they've done for you, otherwise you'll never feel satisfied (in a bad way) but just for the sake of doing the best you can, and being the best "you" you can be
>>
>>721796648
all women are whores who use you for whatever you can give them, and when it runs out or they find someone with something better they move on.

In the long run, prostitution is cheaper and more honest.
>>
>>721806968
What if it really is anon. How would you feel then.
>>
>>721807215

I wouldnt care cause like 100,000 people a day get cancer.
>>
>>721806566

Just forget them and move on. This might crush your feels a little bit but it's just called maturity. you eventually kinda just learn that life sucks and you can't have everything you always wish for but at least I'm not one of those smelly Syrian fucks right. Lol
>>
>>721798376
Lmao legal system gonna steal half your shit
>>
>>721805801
Spending time with people is overrated. I used to have tons of "friends". I'd meet people like it was nothing, I'd get invited out 7 days a week.

Guess what, when I was at the lowest point in my life not a single one of those fuckers was to be found.

Now I stick to myself and I like it that way. Most people are just repeats anyway. Learn to love to be comfortable with just being you and being solitary.

But if you're dying to meet people, it's not just going to fall into your lap. Get a fucking grip and at least try to be outgoing
>>
>>721807215
Looks like what I look like when I'm cold or something, if the color is from the skin itself it may just be you shedding the top layer of skin unevenly?

Idk I'm not a dermatologist
>>
I had to find my dad hanging last year... nobody to talk to about it as nobody in my family gives a shit about me. Came to /b/ and everyone thought I was attention whoring when I posted. Some believed me. I view /b/ as my family and one day I know I'll probably kill myself.thank you to all those anons on here who were there for me. I love you. I miss my dad. I love you dad.
>>
>>721806567
"The only real issue is people just will not stop bitching at me."

Sounds like there is something you havent figured out if you ask me.

Try to stop smoking for a while, and at the same time do new stuff. You will feel better, trust me.
>>
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>>721807284
But I'm young. Got a feeling about a decent girl. Get paid enough to live and have fun.

Also not incredibly unattractive.

I don't want cancer m8
>>
>>721807409
Should've sucked his dick
>>
>>721806567

I remember being 15. There's actually literally nothing wrong with this. Basically you described nihilism and as long as you're able to fully support yourself and pay bills
>>
>>721807409
I'm sorry that happened to you anon. RIP to your father. My ex girlfriend and current girlfriend's fathers both killed themselves, and it really fucked them both up. I hope you find comfort and peace. Don't pass your sorrows on to others by killing yourself.
>>
>>721799501
Disgusting
>>
>>721807629
Exactly the response I thought I'd get. It's the sick sense of humour that helps me deal with life so in a way your helping
>>
>>721807409
well bro i hope 2017 brings you good fortune. who knows man you may even get a new dad
>>
>>721807427

Ive done that anon, stop smoking for a month or so at a time, and tried new things. Doesnt help. I just get angrier at stuff cause i cant just chill and smoke and the new things are generally boring or get boring pretty fast. Plus most activities involve being around lots of people and I hate that.

I took on offer to go on a trip this summer with a family member, China and Philippines... Im extremely anxious about it and kind of dont want to go but am forcing myself to try it anyways. But Im pretty sure im gonna return with the same opinion. But am still open to finding out anyways.

>>721807654

I have pretty strong moral principles though and don't necessarily consider life meaningless. I find most of the things people do to be meaningless though. Like itself is pretty meaningful and precious.
>>
>>721807721 NEWFAG

V.S.

>>721807629 OLDFAG

>my sides!
>>
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Heaven's Gate did nothing wrong.
>>
My feet fucking stink!
>>
>>721808002
That's my fettish.
>>
I want the teenage romance that got me through secondary school to come back and/or the feelings I felt, but this time to not be halfway across the world from eachother.
>>
>>721807409
I'm so sorry about this man, I really hope good things come to you soon and that you get to remember him for all the good stuff and times.
>>
>>721807910
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF /b/
>>
>>721808059
Greentext pls
>>
>>721807721
Lol what do you have a suicidal dad fetish m8?
>>
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>>721808077
You're genuinely a fagoat.
>>
>>721797726
My best friend says he cfantasizes about killing people really brutally, like tearing them apart and shit, but he's super nice in reality. Reminded me of this.
>>
>>721797521
" Practically"
Either you did or didn't pervert.
>>
>>721808054
Smelling man feet?
>>
23 balding for over 3 years, haven't had sex in a year because I'm too self conscious about my balding. Can't gain weight because im too lazy, and eating too much makes me sick in the winter for some reason. Too scared to go to gym. Just started CC on my 2nd semester and cant even talk to anyone because I'm too fucking scared to be judged. Also the shit that comes out of my mouth is autistic most of the time. I match with girls on tinder and I cant even respond cuz im too scared. I wear the same shit every day because I'm fucking broke and the place I live in is a shithole. I want to move out but I cant afford it, and I can't bring my dog who is my best friend anywhere. Speaking of friends, my close ones don't even hit me up anymore when they go out.

I quit my 60-hour week job to go to school where i was making 16/hr because I know I can make more & work less. I start my new part time job for 10/hr and I'm kinda fucking pissed I didn't get more money.

My mom died 2 years ago at age 48. I stopped getting upset after a week of her passing. My father and I are close, and he has more of a social life than anyone I know. He tries to drag me out with him but I cant game girls with my dad, even though he expects me to. Its weird.

In the end I guess everything is alright, I just need to apply myself and stop being a bitch instead of shitposting on 4chan.
>>
>>721808238
That's something my fucking 12 year old sister would say you raging homo.
>>
>>721808180
It's a weird coincidence. My ex's dad killed himself by wrecking his car about three months after she broke up with me. My current gfs dad shot himself in the head in August last year. I've been with her for over two years.
>>
>>721808211

negroid
>>
>>721808436
You should convince your dad to kill himself to make it a triforce of kill
>>
>>721808371
You got looks my dude, Idk maybe bald (shaved) wouldn't be bad for you?
>>
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>>721808436
Your current gfs dad became an hero.
Stay with her.
>daughter of an hero.
>>
>>721807902
>I just get angrier at stuff cause i cant just chill and smoke

I think i know what you feel like, kind of. And maybe the advice i gave i just gave because thats what i'm trying and i want it to be true... But i still believe that it's the way to go. And you have to believe for it to work (yea i know it's obvious).

And btw, have you tried mushrooms? I know it's cliche in todays world and im not one of those who claim psychadelics to be something they arent, but mushrooms are fucking great. Really.
>>
>>721796648
I had sex for money last night. I am a man and he was a much older man. I FUCKING loved it. He was so weak and such a fag! Fuck, I could do this for a living.

I had so much power over him and he paid me for it. A hahahhaha! I feel on top of the world right now. So what if it was gay sex for money. I am all powerful. I fucking love this feeling.
>>
>>721808371
You got the same eyes as me my nigger.
Shit stands out. You can play off the compliments on them I know you get.
>>
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Wish girls would just tell me how they felt instead of dragging me on with mixed signals. Also fuck you aly.
>>
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>>721808888
O shit.
>>
i had a girlfriend who's a nymphomaniac, i couldnt keep up...
>>
>>721808623
thanks, i usually buzz its just winter and I'm too lazy. super self conscious about it tho, I'm always wearing a hat out of the house. Everyone knows, I just don't want to deter new people because I'm young & bald.
>>
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>>721808685

Ya I tried mushrooms a long time ago and genuinely loved it. The best part was when the people I was with decided to leave... I told them they were still fucked up and shouldnt drive but left anyways. I had my notebook with me and I started writing and drawing and felt a ton of inspiration. Then I went in my room and started playing WoW and was enjoying the fuck out of it. Then I get a phone call saying uhhhh can we come over? We are too fucked up to drive home. Then I had to deal with a bunch of retards on shrooms again.


But ya I should do it on my own again sometimes. Dont know where to get it though and not gonna go through the hassle of growing or picking my own. Dont wanna step in cow poop on some farmland where i might get shot, would rather play vidya.
>>
>>721808888
Quints, They'll get the message now
>>
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>>721808988
>>721808888
I'm blessed niggas.
>>
>>721808888
Yeah but other than thanks I don't know what to say. Any tips my nigger?
>>
>>721809142
You compliment them back mayn, say something about their eyebrows or make up, fashion sense.

Man you know how you'd want a girl to approach you, and converse ect.
Use that to your advantage
>>
>>721809040
trade me lives
>>
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Just found out this girl i been kind of chasing for a bit is talking to one of my good friends. Got me all in my fuckin feelings. Im 32, this isn't a high school thing tho it feels like it
>>
i feel ashamed after falling for the same girl again. she broke my heart again, shouldve saw that coming. it sucks
>>
My dog died years ago.
Yet I still miss her.
>>
>>721809739
Hey faggot. Don't worry. Fuck that bitch.
You're a good anon I can tell.
They say there is plenty of fish in the sea, but it feel so empty without me. Dudududu.

Nah I gave a girl another chance. It's been perfect. Sorry not sorry
>>
I fap to my aunt on a day to day basis.
>>
>>721807407
Hives when you get cold is more common amoung young women. I live in canada, and my younger sister cries when we go outside and her thighs cover in hives.
>>
>>721808720
Greentext
>>
>>721799033
i dont get people like this, like why tf would you care ? is it there life ? fucking noooo
>>
>>721808720

Fag.
>>
>>721797521
WHERS THE GREEN TEXT WAH TH EFUCK
>>
>>721808054
you mean feetish?
>>
>>721810522
Word.
>>
>>721807407
It doesn't happen when I'm cold, it's also not dry skin, I get really pale white patches all over varying in size, thanks for your insight tho anon.

>>721810715
I'm not a female and I also don't live anywhere that cold.
>>
>>721796648
i have a continually itchy patch of skin on the bottom left side of my scrotum (the left nut hangs lower and thus less air circulation). it's wrinkly and lighter colored and antifungal cream hasn't done much to remove it.

any advice /b/?

inb4 stds
>>
>>721811592
Sounds like an std anon.
>>
I'm a born again Christian and I can't help feel sorry for people on this planet. Anyone who reads this, turn to Jesus, He will wash your sins clean because He loves you. Fire awaits those who love their win. Anyone who runs after evil will die.
>>
>>721811592
Talk to a doctor, they don't care, they've seen worse.
>>
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Any one here can please help try identify the raptor
>>
>>721811857
Country or at least continent?
>>
>>721809582
it was awesome i must admit.. but not for long... its like fucking a machine that never gets out of energy... and never fed up...
awesome for a while then u go NO No no fuck this
>>
>>721811857
That's either a hawk or a P falcon.
>>
I do not think I'll ever be satisfied with one girl.
>>
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>>721811757
>>
>>721810752
>be me at home drinking
>get message on grindr wit $ in it
>start thinking, "this is why you made this account"
>message back, I'm still in the closet but bi
>dude offers $450
>think fuck yes
>he shows up in an audi a8
>jizz my pants over the car
>goto his place
>sit in hot tub and have a few drinks
>I start making out with him
>tugging on his cock
>he says ouch
>me being too rough
>I feel great making him hurt
>we got to bed room
> blow him
>fuck him
> get ride home
> wake up with a wad of cash

I totally want to do this more
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