When you masturbate, how do you clean up your cum?
>>721016499
I cum straight into my mouth, I've come to a realization that it's the easiest way to clean
I don't, I'm a fucking degenerate
Fuck off OP you faggot
>>721016499
i cum in to my underpants, and just change them the next morning
i dont unless it's morning
>>721016499
Put hankee/tissue on your belly button. Cum. Toss in wash/bin respectively.
Pull forskin over the tip, seal it off with my thumb, cum, go to bathroom, drop into toilet or sink, clean tip, take a piss. VoilĂ . No mess.
>>721016499
since I cum massive blasts I use big towel.
Tissues and shit are unreal for me.
I just clean myself up with my decke bitchz
>>721016499
Jesus dude drink some water. Load looks like fucking cottage cheese.
>>721016680
It's eerie how similar you and I fap.
Cum in hand wipe off with TP or towel and wash hands
>>721016499
i use thin paper and cover my tip to make a reservoir. put in toilet, flush next time i shit/pee.
I'd lick that load off your tummy.
>>721016499
If you cum on yourself, you are an authentic homosexual and you should neck yourself
>>721017218
Won't it stick to the glans?
>>721016499
I use my cat to jerk off.
Get him on there.
Jerking motions.
Everything stays in there.
He poops it out later I think.
>>721016499
Just before I cum, I squeeze my foreskin shut with my fist, so that the cum will get trapped behind it.
Then, I unload in my trashcan where it will be absorbed by bananapeels and other stuff.
>>721017131
Why is that eerie? There's only so many ways to jerk off.
You might even say...
...a handful.
>>721017286
nuh, only if you don't leave a little space inbetween. but I prefer without papers actually. I recently fapped into a plastic wrapper cup and washed it out. was nice
>>721016499
I have my wife clean me up like a fucking BOSS.
>>721016499
let the bodies hit the...
>>721016499
Your mother takes care of it, moosecock eating faggot.
Cum in homemade fleshlight, clean with water afterwards
I don't
>>721016499
When I'm in the shower it washes down the drain. When I'm in bed I just eat it. What? It came from me so what?
>>721017799
Great argument. So does your shit.
>>721017799
That is absolutely disgusting! Sperm is really bad for your plumbing and corrode the pipes while helping to create more blockages. Stuff that cum in your slutty mouth each time.
>>721017365
Fucking lost
Normally three tissues does the trick to prevent it from leaking through the bed til I can recover myself enough to move it.
Otherwise, masturbating with a condom on is probably the cleanest and easiest way. Just be careful taking it off is all.
I just cum all over myself and jump in the shower.
>>721017899
A friend's college actually had to tell the students to stop masturbating in the showers because so many of them did it that it gummed up the pipes to the point there was hardly any drainage whatsoever.
cum in my hand then lick all of it
I just jizz right into somebody's urn, hoping the Phoenix will rise from the ashes.
>>721018113
I did this once, hard af to clean your cum when you have a hairy belly
I cum in my foreskin & hold it shut and let it go down the toilet.
Clean up? Son, I dump my loads down my daughters' throats. Doesn't everyone?
>>721016566
that's hot
>>721016499
I wipe it off with my underwear, then wash it. All it takes.
>>721018163
so the proper way?
ITT foreskin is more disgusted than previously thought.
>>721018233
tell me about it. not so much fun when it hits your beard either but when you're horny you dont think about those types of things.
>>721018142
That's a widely known urban myth that was debunked years ago.
Anon, we know you don't have friends, it's totally fine, nor do we. You don't have to make stuff up
>>721016566
Most be nice being that flexible.
>>721018383
Kek
How do you clean it anon?
>>721017442
Wife = hand you use to clean up with and jerk off.
>>721017035
>I use big towel
comrade russki
>>721018529
water, conditioner and a comb. nothing really special.
Socks. I cum in socks.
I just cum on the floor or desk and then wipe it up with some toilet paper. I never shoot more than a few inches so it all lands in one place.
Toilet paper
>>721017034
This
How can you all be so retarded? Why don't you just cum in the toilet? No mess that way, and nothing to clean up.
I just cum on the fucking floor and leave it to dry. I live on my own and nobody has come over in 7-8 months so I don't even give a shit.
>>721017034
low test
when i cum it's like a volcano eruption
>>721018995
who the fuck masturbates in front of a toilet?
>>721017365
Gotta hand it to you, that was quite a reply on your hand, my friend. Hands down the best one in this thread.
cum directly into the toilet
I'm something of a neat freak
>2017
>not collecting your cum
>>721016680
Same here
>>721016499
With a girl
>>721019335
same here
I just cum on my belly and the dog comes over and cleans me up. Gives me more time to protest trump without the cleanup.
i eat my cum
paper tissue on belly > blow load = profit
>alternative
wrap paper tissue in a cylindrical shape around shaft (like a tube), make sure it surpasses head of penoos with a couple inches, enjoy!
>>721016566
It is actually the easiest way. I always do this, and it's not like I have a fetish for cum or I like the taste. I really don´t, it tastes ugly. But in 2 secons its gone, and that's the best way.
>>721018995
not knowing lying down is optimal position for male orgasm... pleb
>>721017309
usally in tissue but when i get kinky i go in my sofa dresses in my fav lingeri lays on my back sliding down my fucking mechine and while getting fucked i tend to basically get milked coming and coming som drip down and lube the fucking mechine glory
>>721019737
faggot
I always used my worn clothes to wipe off the cum , then proceed to throw them back to the laundry basket . This seemed to be a perfect way.
>>721018113
having to take a shower every time you fap though? You must not do it often, most autists on here would be in the shower 25/8
>>721018570
no not from cccp
>>721018751
PICS ANON
>>721019892
>optimal male orgasm
>faps looking at a screen
>>721020069
ya i mean i shower once a day and never fapped outside my home or hotel room. no biggie
>>721019035
Post pics anon
cum into some hand towels then wipe the tip of my ding ding
>>721020069
oh and im also married so alot of my cum is her problem lol
i cum on my stomach and have my mom clean it off
>>721020164
>Faps looking at a toilet instead of porn on a screen
Porn-star pinch off and waddle to the bathroom.
>>721016499
In the last two years I've only masturbated in the room next to my fiancee. If I get my dick out to jack it, she usually masturbates too. She cleans up after me every time. Easiest way.
>>721020411
nofap 300+ get your own shit together
Paper towel. Cum all over belly and chest and wherever else it winds up. Cleanup after. I can't in to the idea of aiming in to cleanup device or material. I don't want to be thinking about cleaning when I orgasm.
yes with my tongue
>>721018995
>>721019335
Or at my desk with paper towel on my hand.
Bought panties. Jerk off on em until they're very crusty.
Washing em does get rid of the bulk, but I just buy more to switch it up.
>>721016499
IDIOTS
Just kneel in front of your toilet and jizz into the toilet.
IDIOTS
>>721016499
>>721016566
Best and easiest way is to stop ur self from cumming while still getting orgasm. Just grip hard ur dick right at the base above the balls and dont let cum out. There is no mess to clean.
Back in college I used to cum straight into an old empty juice container and then clean up the tip with a tissue, then throw that into the container too and seal it. Damn did that thing start to reek when it was open. Only opened it to cum. It turned dark in color, then I'd use a new bottle and stealth throw out the old one. I did this because of a shared bathroom situation and didn't want to leave cum tissues anywhere else or walk passed people. I'm less gross now. I just cum on/in my gf.
>>721017034
>>721017337
Is this an actual thing?!?
>>721016499
Beforehand, I get two tissues, place one on top the other, then fold them twice, so that it's a square eight layers thick. When I'm about to cum, I place the center of the tissue square tightly over the tip of my cock and cum into it. When I finish, I fold the tissue in on itself and flush it down the toilet. No mess, no fuss.
>>721020841
yea and my balls will explode under all the pressure of pumping cum...
>>721016499
eat it
>>721020995
>diy paper towels
>>721018300
Dubs responding to dubs, responding to dubs. Dubception.
>>721021064
Yeah, but this way they're softer and less abrasive, and because they're tissues and not paper towels, they flush easier.
>>721017034
>>721017337
So im not alone then...
ez, just let me clean it up for you.
I normally just use dirty washing. T-shirts, underwear, socks...
Somebody have the pic of that towel full of mshrrooms
>>721019474
can't play that but the thumbnail looks hot
>>721021184
Yeah I used to do this when I was a teen and living with my parents. Now I realise that it's gross and should've just used a tissue.
>>721017309
wat
>>721017666
devil trips
>>721017337
yup. same for me.
>>721016499
Best way is to get a tissue. Once you get close just cover the head of your dick and seal it so it doesn't shoot out or drip down shaft. Pretty much just a condom for the top of your dick. Then just jerk it while it's around your head and boom.
>>721021792
but how? do you cum into the tissue, or do you cum on something else and then wipe up with the tissue?
>>721017034
I always wondered if I was the only guy who did this!!>>721017034
>>721020995
>>721022022
Yup exactly this.
>>721016499
Always cum into my female neighbors mouth or face. She was abused as a kid and now is a complete cumslut nympho.
>>721016499
i wash the face of my GF clean!
>>721016499
On my dog or cat, which ever is closer.
>>721017337
this, except I dump it into the toilet. and I wash my dick like a responsible human being afterwards.
>>721016499
im a degenerate, so i cum on stomach, volunteer an article of old ripped clothing as tribute, leave it under dresser and wipe my nut up with it for about 2 months before it becomes saturated in jizz
Op how do you cum so much I can't cum like you can wtf
cum in hands and eat it
>>721017034
i used to do that when i was 12
I normally come in my hand and then eat it. I don't mind the taste, and there is no mess!
>>721017034
Cum balloon is the fucking best
Out of the window.
>>721021009
actually it will go into the bladder
When at the PC, jizz and wipe it up with a sock or anything around really. When laying in bed. jizz and quickly roll up in the blankets lie a jizz burrito and zone out. When in my car I use my gfs mouth. Yea... I get a lot of road head. It's actually harder to cum from that than you think...
>>721016499
your mom licks it up
I cum right in the toilet, then I take a leak.
Clean and efficient.
in this thing. girlfriend bought it for me as a joke when she was going away for a couple of weeks. It honestly feels better than the real thing ~50% of the time. then, I just rinse it out
>>721020018
my nigger
>>721022913
Pic of gf tits
>>721019354
Not gonna lie, cumsprites would be pretty useful if you had control over them.
>>721019354
what's this cartoon again? I forgot the name
>>721022989
Doesn't that burn like a motherfucker?
>>721023381
No, as a matter of fact it's quite the contrary. It's a wonderful sensation.
>>721023304
oglaf.com
>>721023664
thnx anon
>>721016499
That dick appears to be badly damaged.
>>721017309
Cat does not work that way.
usually my sil's panties
>>721016499
i use gfs panties. I'll use clean or dirty, either or. Saves on toilet paper/kleenex
>>721024018
u freak
>>721020841
This is it, this guy gets it. Done it since 15.
Only idiots look into toilets while fapping, and dick balloons or tissue and old clothes/towels is also retarded when there is the ultimate solution.
I let your dad lick it off
>>721022066
I'd usually just go to the bathroom and dump it in the toilet. No idea why I came in my foreskin instead of a tissue
>There are people who have yet to master the dry orgasm.
>>721017034
is that healthy, doesnt it accumulate on ur urethra
>>721021718
it's 3d
>>721024468
Piss afterwards if you're worried.
>>721022259
this
>>721022315
I call this "The Classic".
>>721020841
dumb ass this can cause ejaculate to get blocked up in your urethra and can cause infections
I take my dirty towel from showering that week, stretch it out towards my computer, cum into it, throw it in dirty clothes then wash/repeat.
I've also taken old shirts i wont wear anymore and just turn em into cum rags, throw em away when they take too many shots to be soft and worth using anymore
>>721022419
Two weeks of abstinence.
>>721024018
I'm glad I'm not the only one who faps to his sister's panties.
>>721016499
I just put some toilet paper or a paper towel near my stomach and catch it on that - roll it up and throw it away.
It's so easy
>>721024637
That's going to be embarrassing to explain to the nurse at urgent care...
>>721024124
Is my mom there too? That sounds hot.
I'm in the minority, but I bought 100s of those Crown condoms from amazon... before I cum I throw one of those guys on and let it rip. No cleanup.
>>721024438
There was a point, in my past, where I could come very close to achieving orgasm through thought alone.
>>721016499
Your mum licks it up
>>721024958
nice. I look for her panties that has gussets open on the other end and slip my dick in there. it feels good and catches my sperm! neat-o!
>>721025175
You know, someone should have kept meticulous notes so future ejaculators could repeat that experiment.
>>721017171
This
>>721016499
I eat it. It is clean and I can't get any infection from it I don't already have. no left overs to worry about.
>>721025467
>gussets open on the other end
I always wondered why those exist.
Better absorbing for the moister?
>>721025736
I've been trying to do that for years and always pussy out at the last second lol
ever since i first started masturbating ive been cumming similar to OP's picture but then i just wipe it in my underwear and do this a few times a day
next day or evening whatever take a bath change undies
heard my friends saying this is pretty weird.
but i masturbate a t whatever time a day so not gonna be fucking around with paper or towels.. fuck that
>>721017034
Man all those cut/uncut threads and no one talked about this. You just sold me on foreskin.
I don't masturbate. Precum falls into the toilet everytime I pee. Other than that girls always swallow.
Quick gator roll in the sheets and move to the dry side.
Wash my shit every friday, and start the cycle all over again.
>>721018270
Hello Mr Trump
>>721025827
Look for silky panties or lingerie. But really doesn't matter as long as they have the open gusset and it must be dry. feels weird when its wet (for me)
slip your dick in the gusset and fap away.
TRY IT MAN.
No joke fellas. Last night I retracted back the foreskin of my penis over the glans for the first time ever. I'm 26 y.o. There's a lifetime of built-up smegma crusted around the corona. I'm now aware that the glans is extremely sensitive. I can't even tap it a little, it fucking hurts. How do
you deal with a hyper sensitive penis head? I can't have sex like this.
>>721026642
Remove the foreskin.
But IMO you have "smaller" problems than smegma collection.
Put it in my sister's protein shake
She has eaten hundreds of my loads
Last week she ate 3 cumshots in one drink
>>721017171
This but i don't wipe
>cum in hand
>spiderman it out the window
>>721016499
I just cum in my boxers but I've fapped with my pants on for years. Rub and squeeze dick against leg, cum on leg, no real clean up needed and I don't have to take my pants off. Very convenient.
Use tissues because they're softer, then when i'm about to cum i put the tissues over the top of my cock giving a little gap for the cum to collect and not drip down my shaft, wipe the tip and flush the tissues.
>>721026817
kek
>>721018751
desk is fine
i didn't notice to stains on the carpet till i went on holiday and came back
>>721017034
Yep.
>>721025876
i know that feel
>>721016499
Without such a gross looking dick. That thing looks like it's put in 65 years of manual labor with a meth addiction.
>>721025958
OR you put your thumb over your pee hole
>>721026299
You spelt podesta wrong.
>>721027212
>retrograde ejaculation.
>>721017309
>>721016499
I lap that shit up
>>721017034
Cutanon here.
This actually sounds like the type of "How to make cool crystals at home" kind of advice.
>inb4 jew
>>721027651
well yes, this actually creates mustard gas in low concentration and will give you dick cancer
>>721016499
u have a nice femenine penis dude
>>721017309
>inb4 disgusting picture of man fucking a dead decrepit cat.
Top ten sickest pictures I've seen. ..since 07.
>>721026642
eww
>>721027651
Im not that guy, but I do it all the time. it can make a climax a tad less thrilling, but its pleanty safe as long as you rinse thoroughly. typically I do a toothpaste squeeze of my dick to make sure theres nothing left as well. works fine for me.
>>721027766
Well I know for a fact that it hurts like a motherfucker when someone squeezes your dick while you're taking a piss.
Catching your cum with help of your foreskin doesn't sound like a lot of pleasure to me.
>>721026642
Have a bath and wash that shit right now man
>>721027283
Got em
cum into the toilet and flush afterwards
I eat it
Or do I drink it im not sure
>>721016499
i cum on a sock
>>721017034
best, cleanest, most effective way - masterrace's way
>>721016499
I never understood why people cum on themselves and clean up. Whats the point? do you enjoy having cum on your body? is that some gay fetish some guys seem to be into?
I just watch porn until I get rock hard and go to bathroom with a fresh memory of what I've just seen or I imagine banging some hot chick I know and cum straight into the toilet, flush, piss, flush again to make sure toilet is clean, wash my hands and leave. Nothing to clean up.
You fags are into some weird shit and unnecessarily complicate life for yourself
>>721016499
With your moms tongue
>>721027994
for fucks sake anon, squeeze just foreskin not dick
>>721028990
>imagine banging some hot chick I know
Degenerate
>>721016921
This guy gets it.
I used to do
>>721020995
but any kind of preparation or something takes a lot out of the joy of it.
So I cum all over my belly and chest, and then take a few tissues, clean up with it and trash them in a clump.
Sadly this is getting messier by the day, as somehow I seem to cum more and more and now its too much and also too watery to just sit on me, and ever since I gone skinny it drips off my abs to the sides, I also find stray drops around my chair sometimes.
>>721025931
I did that as a kid, I advise you against it, as it'll stain your undies yellow. Not fun when your mom asks just how that happens.
>>721029063
It's not the actual squeeze that hurts, it's the accumulating pressure inside the dickereeno that does!
>>721027651
top fucking kek'd
i have the same cum-cup for 10 years now, never used a towel or a sock, sheer thought of doing so disgusts me
>>721016499
I just have an empty water bottle handy. I shoot loads way too powerful for tissues. just line it up with the tip and blast off. good way to extend the orgasm
For those that cum on their body then clean with tissues.
What do you do about the stickiness/ smell?
>>721029097
what do you masturbate to? Imagination at least doesn't have an impact irl, you watch women getting pounded in the ass for money. Who's the degenerate?
>>721029475
Wash my hands and belly after.
smell hardly matters, as the room is full of smoke anyway and nobody else will come in until the next day
>>721018142
gb2 9g fgt
>>721016499
I've gotten to the point where I can just... not cum.
Like just tense up at the exact moment, you get orgasm with no cum.
>>721029336
it all goes into sealed foreskin, almost no pressure is there - you must have phimosis or something to feel actual pain
>>721029513
You masturbate to the act, not the face.
That's one of the bro-codes.
>>721016499
Whatever dirty clothes is nearest
>>721017034
so glad i'm not the only one doing this
I just take a clean pair of my bbw wifes panties from her dresser. Pump my load into those then put them back and wait for her to wear em.
>>721029640
You must cum very pitiful amounts.
>>721016499
i swallow
>>721029688
an act someone is paying for to satisfy degenerates like you that sit in front of their computer in the middle of the night wishing they had someone to fuck. Tell yourself what you want, doesn't change what it really is
>>721029898
Depends, I can store in there like 40 - 50 ml of piss
I just cum in a cup, or directly in the toilet.
>>721017034
Damn, i do the same exact thing, it's particularly arounsing when i cum too much and feel my forskin super inflated.
wew.
you guys are whck, try and limit your jizzing.
There is only 1 correct way to wank.
Watching porn, laying in bed, bath towel over your torso.
Shower is always fun to test your distance
i used to cum directly into the toilet but i got tired of having to get out of bed just to cum so now i just cum into a tissue. Tissues are also surprisingly stronger against jizz than toilet paper is.
>>721016499
I cum on my girlfriend's back and then use her shirt and/or a towel to clean it up
I use my cum teddy, been using it since I started fapping at 12. Clean it every 2 years or so.
>>721022419
He does this thing called not fapping 3 times a day every day.
>>721018113
This. Have a cloth to help clean up abit. Probably the best way. Doing two jobs at once.