Pretty much. I figure if I eat really bad food I will have heart failure in my 60's so I am half finished. I just put my head down and go to work. Let the days float by. I just hope I don't drag on into my 70's and 80's in some shitty old folks home.
Practice love and you will never feel this way again. You are so much more than you know. You are all. You are light. You will continue to be forever. Get used to it. Embrase the absurd world we are forged from. Embrase the light.
>>720161642 Exactly >>720161441 Life is meaningless itself... What´s the use of being alive? You can do whatever the fuck you want while alive!!! Remember the last time you felt happy? Well, you can be happy again, and again, and again if you want to.
Make yourself some nice friends, travel, experience new things, try new food, fuck all the whores you want... BE HAPPY
>>720161441 i feel you. i am happiest when im comfy.. playing video or watching movies on the weekend while its pouring outside, eating good food and drinking good alcohol. for me, I work so I can afford to be comfy and i enjoy my time out of work, even if its a little lonely I happy enough to not kill msyelf lol
Feeling kinda shit lately. Just ended a relationship with a girl I really had no business dating. We knew about eachother for years but were barely acquainted and since I was getting really desperate I made a move and somehow got with her. We started it off as a friends with benefits thing cause I honestly had no feelings for her but turns out later she did, she developed some. A month goes by and we decide to put a label on it and try being a couple. I spent the next month and a half convincing myself I liked this person and wasn't just doing it for the sex. I realised I was and broke it off. Tbh I already miss it but hey, either or. Being 19 with lackluster social skills doesn't help either. Makes me feel like it was the only sex I'll get in a long time haha During the breakup itself though she asked me if there was someone else, I couldn't help but laugh cause even before we started it all I kind of developed feelings for one of her close friends but we both decided it was for the better not to take it any further and I assured her it was nothing. Turns out I still did have some feeling towards her friend and my now ex figured it out. Of course she got pissed, I ended up looking like a douche for essentially dumping her for her best friend, now my ex pretty much hates me which I honestly couldn't give a shit about but the friend, which is mutual by the way, has now been told all of what I said by my ex and doesn't know how to feel. Worst thing is before I started everything with my now ex I could have easily been with her friend since we vibe and got really close on a trip we took with our other mates last summer. Back then I wasn't sure of how I felt but had a chance, now I'd like her to be more than a friend but after a quick chat I realised she was over it. All of this doesn't even scratch the surface though... It's quite the shit show. Oh and yeah, we took eachothers virginity so I end up being even more of a douche for dumping her.
We're nothing more than monkeys on a rock, anything anyone is passionate about is meaningless. Anything you care about or any problems you have really don't matter, because one day we're all going to die. Drama, arguments complaining about your feelings is pretty cringe in the grand scheme of things.
>>720163754 When I used to drink. I liked to take shots of GG vodka and chase it with monster energy drink. Hardly any after taste. I would always wake up in odd places though. Have to chill without it for a while.
>>720164200 gin and vodka are 2 very seperate things, trust me, you can trust me when it comes to alcohol.
Look at russia, everyone is drinking vodka like it was the key to eternal life and they are fucked up and doing stupid shit, gin makes you inward and socially awkward and will naturally isolate you from other people, you will want to sit alone, at home, listening to relaxing music that makes you think and go to bed early
I drink beer on regular days, or as warm up i drink gin when im bucked out and need to think and be alone and i drink vodka when i want to get out and have a good time When i want to party (which is rare), i find a mid range wannabe-tryhard-fancy restaurant, go to the bar and order literally one of each and 2 beers
Finish a beer, pour one of each into beer glass, try not to get kicked out, tell them you will leave shortly, drink second beer and enjoy your blackout
>>720165182 Nice. I might try doing some gin and tonic. I have used it in the past but it's been years. If I am going to go back to drunken numbness, you are probably right. I should drink something more chill.
>>720165825 Well you can do what I currently do and just find a hobby. If you have a good job it helps to fully partake in a hobby. I like home theater and building computers so I usually build bombastic super expensive shit just to keep my head out of my ass.
>>720165485 you really should, and you should really find your own golden limit (high-funtional alcoholic reporting in), what i wrote works for me
as you know, or should know, your alcoholic powerlevel will eventually increase and you will need to drink more, do not do that, when you reach the point where you dont get that "meh" going, what you really want to do is sober up and reset, or almost reset your tolerance, this also helps you not turn into a fullblown bench warmer in the local park, if you find yourself fired, lonely or generally reaking of piss you want to reset and lower your dosage, its absolutely key to maintain a normal life while doing this
Its perfectly natural, and quite normal, to ingest alot of alcohol on a daily basis, the key is to maintain a regular life while doing it, pretty much no matter what you do, theres a 50% chance your boss/CEO is drinking too much
Someday you will find that special someone that literally makes you forget about drinking, it happened to me twice, i quit from day to day without any problems, and ive been drinking for 2x 7 years, one day you will have a reason to live, if you dont now and really cant be arsed doing so you might aswell off yourself, if you dont have anything keeping you alive, why would you?
>>720166382 I am not OP so I can't speak for him but I am not suicidal. I wouldn't mind if a bus pulled into the wrong lane and took me out early but I don't like to make uninformed decisions so it's not the cards for me. Like I mentioned before, I am not currently drinking anymore either.
See, unlike you motherfuckers, I've got a train that runs through my town. I want out, I know right were to go. 'till then, I learn each day to accept that not everyone finds love or happiness, and that I am one of those who in all likelihood will not.
My problem is keeping busy. I stopped drinking and like I said, I dive into my hobbies to keep me occupied.
My problem is not social anxiety. I can fake my way into any group of people and pretend to have a good ol time. The issue is that I don't like doing it. People come off as fake and I get annoyed with them in short order. I don't like being alone but I can't seem to be happy with others either. Guess I'm just a fuck up but I just keep going. I am skinny and in good shape but I eat foods that clog the arteries hoping I won't get to old.
I feel like I am trapped in a half cooked piece of rotting meat and I am hardwired into it through the nervous system so I can feel it break down for 100 years or whatever. I find the world to be a depressing place because of what man has done to it. Really I just want out but you never know if anything comes after this shit or not. If I knew that everything would just end and nothing came after I would probably blow my head off to be totally honest.
>>720167980 I am not sure what you mean. I am already successful. I could move anywhere on the planet with my skill set. I choose to remain inside and build my home theater and computers just because I have nothing better to do.
>>720168540 I don't interact with people. I think that may be the problem. I have been in isolation for a long time. I think it has taken it's toll on me but I don't like being around others either. It's a problem.
>>720168828 I have this persistent issue where I like others and they like me, and I feel lonely and miserable, but after a couple days of interacting all I want to do is crawl into a cave and sit on my laptop for awhile. This is why I ended up failing out of college the first time, having to share a room with a really really social dude freaked me out. I had plenty of friends, just no outlet for my introversion. It's a problem.
I have intellectual disabilities and a low IQ. Life is pain, it's hilarious to me seeing smart people bemoan their intelligence as if it's a curse--try struggling for your whole life to put food on the table for yourself and bring treated like abject garbage.
>>720161441 My wife comitted suicide about a week ago, she suffered sever depression since we had a miscarriage. I live alone no away from the suburbs and drink all day. I don´t plan on killing myself because my cat reminds me of how life can be so innocent yet cruel at the same time. I try to be in the middle. I am 42 and stopped going to work.... soon ill ran out of money but i dont have any strenght to wake up to a rutine
>>720169435 >knowing the word abject and using it correctly in a sentence You're smarter than most people I knew in high school. I have a high "IQ" whatever the fuck that actually means and my life is pretty shitty. I have no motivation. Nothing grabs my attention and pulls me towards it. I've trashed three relationships by becoming exceedingly distant for no good reason. At least you work hard. Be proud of that.
>>720168828 Well, my problem is that I live with my parents and can't stand them, nor many other untrustworthy people that I meet from time to time. Last New Year's Eve's dinner I had to defend myself from the rest of my paternal family blaming me for wanting to be alone
Anyway, just going for a stroll, walking up to the hilltops near my city and back again, with an occasional chitchat on the way is enough for me (usually). I can spend the rest of the day playing a comfy game in my desktop.
Perhaps, learning to code something nice and getting extra bucks just for the sake of doing something I enjoy doing would make it even more perfect.
But to me, a social reset would be terrific. As long as I can get new acquaintances just when I need them, and leave as soon as they get too manipulative.
>>720169996 Btw, seeing the live as a journey where you meet and say goodbye to different people as time goes usually helps to not to miss so much other people. You were together for some time and that's what it counts.
>>720169579 This happened to one of my friends. His wife had the same issue and did the same thing. He was dead to the world for about 6 months and moved back in with his mom. He lost so much weight I thought he was going to die.
Then one day he snapped out of it. He now re-married and has a kid. He is happy. You never know what's going to happen or who you may run into. That is one of the reasons I don't make uniformed decisions like suicide.
>>720161441 Yep, I feel you. We're absolutely worthless creatures with no true purpose for our existence. We just live to die. That's what we were made to do from the very first day of our lives.
However, think of it this way. Since life is so meaningless and we all die anyway, why give a fuck? Instead of just moping about it, why not go all out and live life on the edge? Go skydiving, climb Mt Everest, do the craziest shit you can think of man! We'll never truly know why we're here or why we were created. I get that. But sitting on your ass and whining about it won't get you anywhere. Go find something that will inspire you to keep living on this worthless rock . Anything you want in the world anon, just say 'fuck it' and go do it!
>>720172551 it's not like life is imbued with meaning until death happens. life has no intrinsic meaning except perhaps to procreate, to foster the continuation of the species. this doesn't mean it's our only drive, but all drives are indirectly related to making more people. nothing "matters" because there is no god and your impulses are the mechanical drives to mate, because, simplicity itself and often overlooked, without the desire to make more we'd be bad at it, and all those ones bad at it didn't make more because they were bad at it.
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