Come home from work and find this standing on your driveway... what do?
Spill spaghetti everywhere
I literally wouldn't even know how to say actual words to her.
Stutter uncontrollably as i try to make faint attempts to hold a conversation. Start thinking about how ugly and fat i am and become very self conscious then quickly run into my house and close to door. an hour or two later after my anxiety calms down, ill beat off to the thought of how alpha i was that a cute girl came to visit me.
That's sick! Where do you think you are?
>like a cannibal, obviously
It's all angles and filters my dude, she looks a bit weird honestly. Love the skinny legs doe
I would literally become a normal person for a grill this delicate and beautiful. Id pick up the kids from their activities, go to gay ass dinner parties, clean the cat shit off the floor, run out to the store to get her her favourite food. All just so that every now and again i can bend her over, pull her white cotton panties to the side and sniff her pretty pink asshole. Thats evolution for you
TWO hours later this shows up in your front door...
It's the older sister come looking for the cute goth girl in your driveway...
What do you say anon?
Attempt to have a conversation with the girl.
It'll go like this:
>Woman see's my horribly disfigured face and body, instantly forming their opinion of me
>Greet the person in a forgetful manner, hardly being able to maintain eye contant for two reasons. Too ashamed of self to look the other and the other is too disgusted to look back
>Get ignored or at best receive a disgruntled hello back
>Numbed by initial greetings, either go complete aspergers and ask something dumb like "how's the weathergirl, girl" or at best, leave. At this point spaghetti sauce is running down my leg in ALL SCENARIOS
>If everything has gone "perfectly" or as good as it ever could, conversation is still being had
>Now if ALL of the stars align and a thousand genies will it, the girl will be roughly equate amount of aspergers and autist as The One. Spaghetti without meatballs would dribble down her panties out of the skirt right about now.
>Now if flying spaghetti monster wills it, a spark would fly and amazing things happen
>She would slip and fall and me, having put all my charisma points into agility, would catch her gently
>She would stumble in her words too, leaving me to say something cheesy like "Careful there, darling" and kiss her gently on her forehead
>She would blush and stutter more, before returning a kiss on my lips
>I would pull her up and ask her name, giving my name in return
>She would look down and ask me out on a coffee (pic related) and I would agree
>She would get on my '88 toyota and with heavenly luck the machine would stay in one piece until nearest cafe
>We would both get the same latte or some shit and both of us would try and pay for the others cup, resulting in more romantic comedy which would bring us even closer
>At table, she would tell me of her miserable life, losing her parents and younger sister in a car crash and having moved to town on her own, looking for a place to stay
>Ask her to stay at my place for a couple of days...
>She comes over to my place. With a little purse and a backpack with a change of clothes and some cosplay items
>At this point we're the best of friends. She has told me of her hobbies which include a bunch of weeaboo shit and exposing her in public
>I find some booze and we start drinking
>At some point, she gets the wild idea to undress and she insists on showing me the cosplay she made herself
>She dresses up as princess leia. Standing up, making poses for me I can see water running down her legs
>She gets on the floor in front of me and approaches, crawling
>She sees my raging hardon and unzips my pants
>My small cock, below average length, pencil width throbs hard as she licks it like a lollipop
>She doesn't comment on it but instead turns around and pulls the skirt bit on the side, revealing a shaved puffy innie pussy, dripping in juices
>She says "Anon-san, you're my only hope. Please put your cock in me"
>I approach and put my miniature wiener on her pussy lips, moving it up and down, drenching in it pussy juice
>She grips my shaft and guides it in
>Her pussy feels incredibly tight, even for my pecker
>She moans in pain?
>I see blood on my cock. Ask her aspergerly if she's menstruating
>She blushes and says no, but that it's her first time
>Suddenly, hardon doubles in size as if magic happens. As the hardon rips the phimosis foreskin around itself, she starts convulsing immediately.
>Minutes of continuous squirting orgasms and a creampie later, we both collapse on top of each other and fall asleep
>I wake up only to realize I'm not that ugly, I don't have a small cock and that all my problems are really mental.
>Still, having felt the absolute happiness with an imaginary soulmate, I wallow myself back to sleep.
>As much as I try, it wont happen and I'll drown my sorrows in booze, once again. Fuck you /b/ I love you
Wow faggot grow a pair of balls and lower your standards if you're ugly as fuck. Maybe then you'll build up the courage to get a girl. Another tip, quit pretending your life is a romcom and fantasize about creating a better life for yourself and you can finally leave the gutter that you currently reside
Take a look at her collar (notice the leash ring) and see if there is an owner tag on it. If not, ask why she is there. If she is a present from a friend of mine, I check it out to make sure she not a Mata Hare indented to get information or kill me in my sleep. If all is good, bring her in. Strip her down to just the collar.
If she is a good sub, she will not fight it and have my way with her for the evening. Find out if I need her returned by end of evening or I get her for the night. Then dress her back and send her off. Thank my friend of a nice piece of ass.
Too late anons, whikemyiu stood there gawking at her your neighbour (guy in pic) swooped in and captured her for himself. Quit being such beta fags.
>LOOKS LIKE A 6 YEAR OLD CHILD
>PEOPLE WILL NEVER TAKE HER SERIOUSLY
>WILL GROW UP TO ME MIDGET
>WILL ONLY BE DESIRED FOR SEX KUZ LOOKS LIKE A CHILD
>neck yourself squirt
Word for word I would say "hello m'lady. I knew one of you would come looking for a real gentleman soon. Why don't you come inside and join me for a glass of wine? We can chat about religion and how we don't buy into such delusions(she looks like atheist). So tell me. What's your favorite videogame(she looks like maybe plays games) Mine is mine craft? Please join me inside m'lady"