Looks like it's the end of the road for me /b/ Can't take much more of my life. I've gone through a lot of this but this is an obstacle I can't go through. I have 80,000 followers on twitter and a big community of people who care for me and I want to do something big. I know it'll hurt all of them but I just can't do this anymore.
So as of now I'm asking you guys suggestions of things I should do. I could do it on a stream whatever, I'm gonna tweet it out hours before it happens. I have only a few hundred dollars in paypal left and I'll post my login info on my twitter or here /b/. I need suggestions I want to make this a big deal if I'm going out.
Just wanted to stop by and let you guys know. at the end of this thread I'll be posting my twitter. I just wanted to say thank you /b/ I know we all have a reason why we've been here all these years and through all the shit we stuck together.
>>720104547 Why don't you leave your paypal info and just go into the woods and try to wrestle a bear or a wolf or something stupid like that. Either you die and feed the animal or you kill the animal and then die anyways and feed the other animalas. Small % of surviving and telling the tale of how you defeated a wolf or a bear.
>>720106155 You know how there are lists of films to watch before you die? Well, you cannot die without watching the films on this list of films that YOU should watch before you die: Inglourious Basterds Before Sunrise Before Sunset Annie Hall Arrival Crimes and Misdemeanors The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Fight Club Y Tu Mamá También Inception Living is Easy with Eyes Closed The Master Punch-Drunk Love
>>720106306 Give me something to look forward to... I know you don't know me personally but something.. Cause there's nothing I can possibly see that'll make me happy, whether it be now or later. So...
>>cause 80,000 followers means any of them actually give a fuck about you >>announces he will kill himself as a subconscious way of reaching out for help but says he doesn't care Who are you trying to fool OP. You feel lile shit and maybe you had a shit life. It's true that we all experience things differently. But do you honestly believe there is nothing else in the world for you? Go blow some money fucking off, get away from all those people who show an artificial interest in you because you're the "flavor of the month". I don't even know you. But I know what it's like to be depressed. Your brain spews all sorts of shit to you. Get yourself feeling better, get on the right anti-depressents for a while to help get your chemistry balanced again, do stuff you love, and see if you still want to an hero at the end of it all. What more do you have to lose, right? In the end, it's your decision. But just remember you won't get another one. It's obvious you care and you want people to care. Keep that in the mind when you're holding that cold steel to your head or whatever you're planning to do. Just remember that.
op really don't do it, this is not only about your life, don't you think that your family and friends won't be hurt? You'll leave this world and the pain would stop, but would you make your closest people around go through horrible pain because of your selfish act?
>>720106430 Noted, thank you anon... And yeah I know if it. I appreciate this.
>>720106568 I just don't know anon... I don't know if that'll do anything to change my decision anon. I want to but I know in the end I just can't do this anymore. but I really appreciate you doing this, you don't know how much it means.
>>720106691 What this anon said. They will carry that pain for the rest of their lives. You will leave them heartbroken and even worse, with a feeling of regret that they could have somehow avoided this -- regardless of anything that you write n a note. They will carry a general sense of uneasiness with which they will have to learn to live, and they will not be able to feel complete happiness again.
OP think of everyone you love and don't do it please, even if you don't feel that much love towards them, if they love you, they will feel hurt when you'll go, you really will, don't make them go through shit like this, go talk to them, go out in town with people that care about you, have a pint or two, go to a movie, life is beautiful if you want it to be...
>>720106788 Health reasons, nothing to look forward to. Can't play anything anymore, it's almost impossible. Can barely go outside without having these anxiety attacks... It's not like im saying that's all I ever did I did a lot and I traveled, its just that was a massive outlet for me but note that isn't mainly why I'm doing it. My health is a bigger factor I could care less not doing what I love for the rest of my live if all I was was happy but im not just don't want to live anymore...Just can't do it...
>>720106691 >>Selfish act That's completely subjective. If you really understood depression you wouldn't be saying that. I can absolutely see how it feels selfish. But you need to also understand their point of view. To them, it's nearly impossible to give meaning to life and have happiness lasting longer than a moment. It's like a nightmare you can't wake up from. You don't want to live like that every day so suicide seems like the only way to end it all. And how many people actually give enough of a fuck to do something about it? "Oh don't kill yourself", but then no one gives enough of a shit to do more than just say that. I understand what you're saying, but you need to also understand them too.
dont do it fag. Find some friends, have a beer, fuck you job, use your last money to make an amazing journey around the world. If you still wanna die after that, just do it. If you've been eating tendies all day while browsing /b/, of course you'll wanna kill yourself
Just don't botch it. I spent a year in a mental health institution after being diagnosed with clinical depression, and let me tell you, it's like Catch-22 (or Hotel California, I guess). Leaving is quite tricky. The whole business is such an inconvenience that if it weren't for the few meaningful things I learned there, I might've been happier dead.
Then again, an infinity of nothingness sounds frightening compared to the monotony and balderdash that I'm used to dealing with every day.
In any case, take your gamble if you're willing to. Just be sure to aim true and die efficiently.
>>720106898 >>720106847 >>720107081 >>720107017 I really appreciate these comments, I know it's selfish but I just can't anymore. I wish the best for everyone I've ever known but they have to know it isn't because of them
>>720107047 Look, you're right, I've never had depression, was quite a lucky guy in life, but let me tell you this, never will you see someone whom a friend has killed himself that will act normally and say "well there ain't shit we could have done, at least he's peaceful now", no they will cry, they will feel empty in their hearts, I firmly believe that life has a meaning only if you give it a meaning, depression is tough even though I don't relate to it, but I believe that you can escape from it and I really wish OP would escape from it, with help, not necessarily our help, there is medical help and there are friends, real friends, real family out there, I believe in you OP.
>>720107007 What kind of health reasons? I'm in my 20's and have crippling osteoarthritis all over my body. My elbows, fingers, knees, lower back. Every day I feel some form of pain and it hinders my motions. I've lived in a mold and shit infested home for most of my life. It's caused numerous health problems for me. No one to understand, but have had a friend or two in my life who have been there for me ever since after many years of all of that. Not physically there, but they're there. I still try to do what I can. I joke that I'll eventually be like stephen hawking. Humor has always been my way of coping, even if I get depressed from time to time or demoralized. I want to exercise so bad but it's unbelievably difficult to. Fortunately I'm not some fat slob who eats his worries his way. It's hard anon, and I'm not saying all this to trivialize any of your hardships. I'm just saying it to try and give you a bit of perspective. Not everyone feels or experiences things the same way. But maybe you should try to tell your depression to fuck off for a moment so you can get someone to help you get back on track. Someone you really feel would spend the time and care to help you out.
Would you be able to email the details to [email protected] I wanna buy a couple small things. Also a shotgun through the roof of your mouth is the quickest and most successful way to go. Just think about the people who love you before you do it, you will be missed
Could never slit my wrists. The idea of slashing my veins open and bleeding out is not a nice one.
Overdose on pills? With all the meds the doctors have me on right now, technically I overdose every day. If I did a huge overdose I know I'd end up getting my stomach pumped and wake up in a hospital feeling terrible.
Hanging? I tried to hang myself but I was so damn fat the tree broke in half. I ended up on my ass on the muddy ground with splinters all through my skin and a sore neck.
Drowning never worked for me. I'd weigh down my pockets with rocks, but by the time I started feeling faint I impulsively threw those rocks out of my pocket and swam back up to the surface.
Can't shoot myself because we're not allowed guns in this country.
I could go on.
I've given up on trying to off myself because it always fails.
Yes I could jump off a building, but a part of me wonders if I would miscalculate the fall and end up alive with all my bones broken instead. Same with jumping in front of a vehicle. And even if either effort were to kill me, then those poor people will never recover from the trauma.
Imagine running someone over, or someone jumps down and goes splat right next to you, or you are a traindriver or a passenger and the train minces you. They would never get over that.
My point is you may very well fail and live on to regret it and feel a thousand times more worse off than you do now.
>>720104547 I support your decision OP. I was where you were and someone stopped me. Never been able to work up the courage for another attempt. Don't let anyone take that away from you because it never gets better.
>>720107416 Idk.... I feel like I'll just have a panic attack and wanna leave. I'm not sure anon
>>720107442 I'm pretty sure I have skin cancer, I don't know the symptoms... Im nearly blind, I have trouble breathing sometimes... Problems I never had a few years ago and shit just hit the fan one day when I woke up... Now it's hard for me to sleep, I can barely walk around. and I just don't know what to do anymore...
OP, 4:12 to end of video on repeat. Think about your life and what has happened, let it all build up. Tell us what you feel when it becomes too much. Let the tears run down your face and the effort you can into that keyboard. What is wrong?
OP, look man, we both agree if you're here and you wait 3 hours sitting on 4chan before you do it, it's because you're waiting for something, you're not sure yet, and please let me tell you that there's a better world for you, if you allow it. Open up to your friends, make new ones, people aren't born evil, and some never became evil, they will care about you, I care about you OP, don't do it
>>720107400 Thanks for admitting that. I do agree with you that it's unbelievably painful for the people around the person who killed himself. Regrets and all the other feelings that come. Depression comes and goes for me(I don't totally know why) after I finally kicked it a little while back. After learning what depressents were scientifically and how they help, I actually considered them. I had a bunch of people say "Oh it helps" but they never explained how, so why bother? When the depression comes back, I remind myself consistently that they're a bunch of bullshit thoughts and that I don't truly want to end myself. It's just a delusional attempt at escaping. But as this anon said, OP, try out some of those methods. You are your own worst enemy in this struggle. You have to overcome yourself.
>>720107752 everyone here is just faking that they care and really want the money because they are being "nice" to op no one here gives a shit about op, and the ones that actually do agree with his choice the dude's already made his choice, just let him do it already
you're about to waste a life, i understand wanting to end it, maybe not to the extent you are currently feeling, but if you wanna go out with a bang or whatever the fuck you're talking about here why not try to make a difference with it. if you already don't give a shit if you die why not leave and go die fighting for something you believe in. if you are already gonna give everything up why not drop everything here and go do something that might at least give you a sense of acomplishment to die with. do you really just wanna be some shitty news story of some popular twitter fuck who decided to end it on the internet
Indeed what you are going through health-wise does not sound like a very happy existence.
If it is any comfort, neither is my existence at all happy.
I am only 22 but I am in and out of hospitals constantly. I currently suffer from megacolon, pancreatitis, GERD, advanced liver disease, eczema, tremors and other Parkinsonian-like symptoms due to alcohol withdrawal, glaucoma --- all at the same Goddamn time.
shit is not fun. But somehow I have to go on and on and wear a smile and it is killing me inside. So I understand.
>>720108168 I really appreciate your kind words. I might just reconsider... but I don't know what to do anymore, even if I don't Ill still have to live with it.'>>720108268 I could go see a doctor. I'm just afraid that's all.....
Don't do it OP! Be thankful for what you have. With all due respect lot's of people went through the same as you and lots have been through worse yet they didn't commit suicide. Please don't do it OP remember that you're loved! Remember that your life is valuable and that despite this religious bullshit there is not after life and that when you die that's it. How do you know for sure your life won't be much better in the future? Are you really willing to not experience the greater things of life?! Don't you understand that we care about you?! Just don't do it... It will get better I promise.
>>720108130 >>>720107981 >I want to but Im afraid of what they'll say... Like I'll like this for the rest of my life, and I don't want to know the answer to that question.,, just wanna take the high road anon From personal experience of growing up with people who procrastinated and didn't give enough of a fuck to send me to a doctor when it was early and I needed it badly, let me tell you that you should go now. As soon as possible. You already have an idea of what the worst could possibly be, so you'd be better off seeing what kind of options there are. Maybe there are treatments for what you have early on and you can get at least ONE of your problems fixed. Choosing someone who cares about you to help you is important because others might make you feel like shit or try and trivialize your issues. You need someone to be with you and help you take the steps you need. If you can do it alone, all the more power to you. You'd be best off finding out the possible solutions(if any) to your problems before trying to take yourself out, yeah? ALSO! Remember that some doctors are fucking hacks and there are people all over the world inventing new medical break-throughs or who are more competent. Don't let a single or a few doctors put you down. Hell, when I had my osteoarthritis, the first doctor got it right! The few after that said he was nuts. Fucking idiots. If I knew who the first guy was, I'd go back and thank him. It was a long time ago though.
>>720108577 It's up my rich ass you pathetic poorfag. Now eat dirt on the ground peasant. You're lower than me since you're pathetic little faggot who can't afford his bills lmao I bet you can't even afford food! hahahaha
Hey dumbass, don't give up on life just because shit's getting tough. Get the fuck up and think about all the people that care about you, not to mention how your death will affect them. However, if this is b8 suck my dick m8
>>720108740 Kek then get a job you lazy shit. My grandfather single handedly got my family rich literally from the ground up. He found a gold mine and had a shit ton of jobs. If he can do all that then you're just a miserable lazy shit aint you? I can buy your house and your little hoodrat street 5 times over if I wanted to.
every fucking day you come in here with this shit, either do it and face the hell that awaits after death or accept Jesus. For fucks sake, just shut the fuck up though. You won't do it, you are just crying for attention because Trump won and all you libtards lost. goddamn you are one massive faggot.
>>720109094 NOTICE TO CHATTER: The Federal Bureau of Investigation has logged a record of this chat along with the IP addresses of the participants due to potential violations of U.S. law. VIOLATION: Solicitation of a minor. IMPORTANT WARNING: If you think this chat session was logged in error, please state your reasons to the F.B.I. agent currently monitoring this chat and quote the reference number #2334531343. Failure to do so within the next 2 minutes will result in your IP and address being entered into our criminal data base and legal action. Skrrrrt
>>720109222 trips but it also may make him kill himself because of where he is mentally. this is a good idea with a tripsitter and some benzo to calm the trip down when he decides he should kill himself
>>720108822 Edge would be saying all that and really giving a fuck deep down.
What we have here is a random person about to commit suicide expecting an anonymous board of degenerates to give a fuck.
Why should i care that some random is killing themselves and thinks writing about it means anything.
There will literally be more suicides in the world before this guy maybe kills himself maybe i should care about those aswell..... you know what i cant see and what isnt put in front of me to easily digest.
This is facebook tier giving a shit.....because someones writing about it....... because its on a place you visit frequently you didnt have to try hard to find these feels they found you.
>>720109302 Yes not as in right now but gather himself enough to try some.
OP just needs right anti-depressant. I have been off them for years just recently this week back on them as had end thoughts creep in cause im under immense presure - A few days later im chill as - even got made redundant yesterday: with anti-depressants Helping me retain my own serotonin Im thinking straight first time in a long time.
OP - go see Dr, and if yiu dont like that Dr see another Dr until you get one you can work with.
>>720106472 You know, the bear thing actually sounds like a good thing to do if you are really set on killing yourself, But if not, if there is even the tiniest shred of light that you can find then try and pull yourself out of this dark hole m8. take kare.
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