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My roomate and his black ass friends keep stealing everyone's

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 141
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My roomate and his black ass friends keep stealing everyone's food, ideas to fuck with em?
>>
jizz in the food

or put eyedrops in the food (hopefully soup)

instant diaherra
>>
>>720093425
burnt watermelon
>>
>>720093425
glue food stamps to the bottom of a pool
>>
please lace something with lsd but it has to be atleast 5 hits anything less might be enjoyable
>>
dont eat
>>
>>720093698
Im not gonna pay for them potentially have a good time
>>
>>720093707
Not an option
>>
>>720093499
Any specific kind?
>>
>>720093670
>>720093687
Be more creative
>>
>>720093425
bake a cake, or pie, or what ever. Put your pubes in it. Like a lot of pubes. Not like "oh im going to cut a few hairs." No. You shave your cock and balls and put the excess in the food.
>>
>>720094107
or sand whatever
>>
>>720094107

if u fuck with the food theyre going to think its a game and start hitting u back. its better to just kill one of them
>>
>>720093425
poison the food
>>
>>720094107
This might work as well, they've stolen milk, pizza, shredded cheese, soda, among other stuff but those are the most consistent
>>
Around blacks never relax
>>
>>720093425
put some Acid in the food
>>
>>
I lived with a somalian refugee for two years. Now i have my own apartment and I am realizing he was stealing my shampoo etc.

I should have put peroxide in the shampoo.
>>
>>720094563
You wanna give me some for free?
>>
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heres a real solution start eating weird asian shit and they wont eat it. eat stranger and stranger foods until you find their boundaries. Dont have easily accessible "foods" like soda and milk, if u want milk, make it from powder and just enough for when youre about to drink it
>>
Warn them not to eat your food and then put laxative in all your food.
>>
>>720093425
ratpoison in your own food, claim to have a rodent problem. besides they sneak that shit in and out so no one but us will know it was you.
>>
Buy some stupidly hot hot sauce online, can get it pretty cheap, and make something with a lot of it in, will kill their stomachs for a couple days and they'll be in hell once eaten. Yw
>>
>>720093425
LAXITIVES!!!!! We did it to our asshole RA when i was I was in college. He'd steal our soda so we crushed a bunch of lax tabs and out it into a bottle of coke. He took a huge cup and we heard him crying from his bathroom all night. It was pretty great.
>>
Use dog shit as butter then put some nutella over the top.
>>
>>720093995
Keep the niggers out of your house you fucking moron.
>>
This
>>
oh actually i thought of something else u could do. theres ziplock bags, theyre not called ziplock, theyre called mold bags, that has a graphic of mold on it, so the food looks old

pic relate
>>
>>720094934
Ya fucking kidding aye.
>>
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>>720094506
And dont have em in your house, wtf are you ppl new in this world? or just believing all the jew shit media shoves down your necks.
>>
>>720094916
They're not gonna steal butter they take shit that's easily accessible and would require a microwave tops
>>
>>720094893
Can't man, they're my dorm mates
>>
>>720094934

they would probably just throw it at the garbage.

Also anyone who has dealt with moldy bread knows that the color of the mold is blue, not green
>>
Anyone who hangs out wit black people is trouble.Forget about messing with the food, because you need a new roommate. You should move out. Why live with thieving niggers if you don't have to?
>>
>>720094107
hair cake
>>
>>720093779
Just run in with a KKK mask after two hours and start yelling at him, he will have a literal trip to hell.

You can get the needed dose for 20$ (Max. 600mg per person)
>>
>>720094605
The nigger shampoo fairy
>>
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>>720094605
Wtf is your mental malfunction that you would accept that as a roommate. ? niggers make terrible roommates as they are pretty much animals. its like taking in a pet. That has the potential to mutilate or kill you and those odds are really fucking high.
>>
>>720095268
There's a lot of variables as to why I wouldn't leave, but what good is running away from the problem?
>>
Cook some delicious cookies. Cross contaminate everything. Rub Raw fish, raw chicken, raw pork on your hands when rolling them into balls before baking.
Once baked. Repeat. Just rub raw meat on your hands and handle the cookies again. Put them in a container and wait for them to be stolen.
>>
http://www.strawpoll.me/12185010
Try not being a virgin OP.
>>
>>720095060
Jesus fucking Christ how many suggestions do you fucking need?

No wonder they steal food from you. You're a huge fucking pussy that can't even think of his own faggot passive aggressive ways of getting revenge.
>>
>>720095472
On it
>>
>>720095488
Just looking to my bros for help, someone didn't have his tendies today.
>>
>>720095414

why dont u take those niggas to dairy queen until theyre full then go back to ur house and all ur food is still there

some day they'll thank u by stabbing u during a game of basketball and it will all be worth
>>
>>720095271
There's some OTC seasick medication which is horrible in an overdose, and cheaper. Kind of causes psychosis I think
>>
>>720094744
They would just beat you up for giving them the shits, despite them stealing the food. what yha gana do, say that they should steal food, that it is their own fault?

Yeah im sure you could totally rationalize with some one who is weak minded and highly aggressive in a full rage.
>>
>>720095589
An idea worth noting
>>
>>720093425
put alot of laxatives in the food
>>
>>720094375
this. warfarin (rat poison). make 'em bleed to death internally.
>>
>>720095325
It wasn't my choice. Because it were just student apartments and the corporation just places people in those appartments.

And I know, niggers are the worst. Loud music, dirty, always cooking in the kitchen, noisy conversations on the phone, living at night etc.
>>
>>720095628
Yeah they'd have to figure out whose it was out of 5 other people so good point
>>
>>720094375
mix some poop in with the food and they'll get gastroenteritis. shit themselves to death.
>>
>>720093425
Get a new roommate.
>>
fuck that nigger with a baseball bat
>>
Buy some kfc. Keep it room temperature for a day. Refrigerate it. Take it out for another day. Then refrigerate. Leave it in the fridge at the front. They wont be able to resist.
>>
>>720095135
Dorm mates wtf does that means that dont you have locks
keep them out the room
mates
you stupid fuck
ppl who steal your food are not mates.
Niggers are not your mates they only care about them selfs you beta cuck.

>enjoy having your food taken your girlfriends taken and have fun during your years of oppression in college.
>>
>>720095846
Will do
>>
>>720094744
Sort of this.
Tell them you keep getting the shits and you don't know why.
Buy some 2 liter bottles of soda and put retarded amounts of laxatives in them.
They get shits.
You don't get shits.
They do their own deductive reasoning.
Niggers can't reason so you'll just have to keep doing it forever until they shit themselves to death.
>>
>>720095749
that one made me laugh
>>
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I had this happen to me once.
>Just moved in with new gf in her flat
>she has a male "flatmate"
>this guy is NEET, plays WoW 20 hours a day, pays no rent/board and doesnt contribute to food
>gf doesnt earn a lot due to shitty job
>this continues for months
>enoughisenough.png
>devise a plan, inform gf in advance
>the sex cake plan
>every week on payday i buy a discounted birthday cake from supermarket
>take cake and gf into bedroom
>alternate fucking the cake and gf's face
>sometimes cum on cake, sometimes gf
>make the cake presentable and put in fridge
>flatmate eats cake without asking as usual, de facto eating my dick
>escalate onto buying 2L coke and cock rimming bottle as well as sex cake
>i dont mind his food theft now because flatmate gargles my cock every week
>mysatisfaction.gif
>>
>>720093425
Adopt a niglet and let it live in your dorm. They'll never come around again.
>>
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>>720095414
So what you going to do.
>build camp
>lay tracks for rail road
>move all the nigs in to the "workcampf" wait till they get weaker.
>build gas chambers and a cremation oven

Run the fuck away you dont have to sit in that shit.
>>
>>720096046
Looks like laxatives it is, thanks guys.
>>
>>720095567
yeah and that is what he said , you are a pussy and there is no helping you, you will be the target for the duration of your stay.

These nigs talk about you like you are some bank heist. ow im thisrt, i dont want to go to the store im a nigger im lazy and dont have money. well anon had some 7up. cool lets get that bottle.
>mindset of the niggers in OPs school but with better articulation and grammar.
>>
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>>720095703
Dont affiliate with niggers, it will fuck up your grades and you will get hurt.
>im done here if you want to be a naive cunt so be it, i learned true suffering and not walking away when i still could.
>>
tiny shards of glass in food.
>>
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>>
Let's do some chemistry!

Get yourself some vodka or other high proof alcohol (everclear works best) (just make it cheap)
And a packet / tub / what have you of cayenne pepper / chilli powder

Pour out a shot of alcohol, then mix in the cayenne until you have something like a thick slurry

Let it sit for an hour and then pour the whole thing through a coffee filter into another bowl.

You can chuck the solids, that shit is useless. Let the liquid evaporate.

You should be left with a kinda red-looking sticky paste. This is fairly pure capsaicin, and it burns like the fire of a thousand suns on anything that can absorb it.
>>
rat poison in food
>>
>>720095917
When they vind out cuase you mentioned the shits they might still blame you as they cant find any one else to blame and you constitated the shits first, so they would constanly ask you the questions who did it. that means you are in contact with niggers. you dont fucking want that. avoid contact at all cost. wtf are they teaching you kids in school.
>>
Put rat poison in the food.
>>
water saturated with lsd in food
>>
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>>720095970
That makes you gay.
>gains pleasure form putting his phallus and sperm in contact with neets mouth.
>>
>>720093425
just put lactose things in food and make them get the shits or get a mini fridge for your room
>>
>>720095628
Why not "niggers beat blonde", or at least "Negros golpean a rubia"? pick one damn language.
>>
>>720093425
blend really hot stuff like ghost peppers or habeneros in your food

this is a more legal idea
>>
>>720096468
You dont know blacks very well do you, they are the most vengeful creatures.
They enact vengeances with out rationalizing.
OP pulls prank, nigs kill him or make him suck dick.

You middle class suburb kids make me sick
>>
make it so they dont know you've fucked with the food, they just get really fucking sick for what to them is no reason.

if its something that theyll obviously know you did, theyll most likely start screwing up your stuff to get back at you.

just constantly get them sick enough to get back at them, but not enough for them to think someones making them sick
>>
>>720097041
hang the niggers
>>
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>>720096981
legal idea top fucking kek, you have the life experiences of an infant.
>>
>>720096820
I'm Bi anyway anon, i have no issue with fucking a dudes mouth. A mouth is a mouth.
>>
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>>720097216
>f its something that theyll obviously know you did, theyll most likely start screwing up your stuff to get back at you.
This, just walk away as op you are a faggot, you cant win as you are a semi autisic kid that has no idea what he is getting himself in to.
>>
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Put your food in undesirable containers.

etc, put cookies in flour container.

put chips in cereal box

put candies in unlabeled boxes
>>
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>>720097446
Yeah so you are a faggot.
a spineless one that hasnt even got the maturity to open up a conversations in a mature manner.
>>
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>>720093425

Poison them with Deadly Night Shade

lace it in a pie or something, it tastes sweet so they wont know

it basically makes you have a really bad trip, like visions of A hellish existence and shit and if they have too much they can die from it so make sure you put lots in
>>
>>720097570
dont have niggers near your stuff as they are genetically designed to be thief's.
I should report OP`s parents for child abuse. how could they send a beta to a largely black college.
>>
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>>720097697
some one else thinks hey pie, steals the one slice, gets fucked up. niggs are the only one that steals food so they will start to hunt down who was targeting them.
some dipshit will see that op put the cake or what ever in or had it. op goes to jail.
Walk away from niggers or kill them, there is no in between that is safe.

I cant believe schools are allowed to expose their students to this kinda statistical violence.
>>
>>720093425
when they are a sleep yo pee in them
>>
>>720097697

Sorry forgot to give you the proper name
its "Atropa belladonna" google it for the Wikipedia page, it has everything you need to know for example what the plant looks like and the berries etc, info on the bad trips and over-dosing

try to find some that way you wont have to buy it
>>
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>>720097645
>open up a conversations
>conversations
>???
Who am I not opening up a mature conversations with anon?
Do you mean with you or the NEET?
>>
>>720093779
Jimson weed.

That'll guarantee they won't have fun.
>>
>>720098346
you are a psychopath dude it's jsut food and this shit aint the third world

you need some church in your ass
>>
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>>720098119
This
>>
>>720098467
yeah who else half fag?
>>
>>720093425
dog food and cheese baked casserole. cut one piece out. throw it away. cover rest with foil leave in fridge. 3 days it will all be gone. repeat as needed
>>
>>720098467
do you have more ppl eating your food then just the neet.
Maybe your gay lovers?
Maybe your gf`s bull?
>>
Hang them like the pathetic niggers they are
>>
>>720093499
>instant diaherra

It's considered poison, you get way worse shit happening to your body than diarrhea.

I think it's a felony now.
>>
>>720098491
Its just food, cuck religion would fit beta OP, good place to lobby christanon.
>>
break light bulbs in fine powder and add to food
>>
>>720093499
>>720093902
http://www.isciencetimes.com/articles/4671/20130311/visine-poisoning-shayne-carpenter-arrested-symptoms.htm
>>
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>>720093425
>>
>>720098773
fool I said put church in your ass

let the power of christ pump you full of that god dick

you stupid son of a bitch I work for the mafie I will fuck you up with
>night shade
and fucking
>dog food casserole
and then I'll shove your dick down your faggot mother's throat and then comes te real pain

I AM GOD BITCH

NOW GIMME DAT ASS
>>
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buy all the ingredients for whatever you wanna eat and don't make it until you're hungry. Niggers are too lazy to make their own food with the stuff in the fridge
>>
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Eat the nigger and his friends.
>>
>>720099025
Another gay in this thread. Great.
>>
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>>720099052
this i dont get, so it is a communal fridge? Is this the schools nigger feeding plan. just let them have access to the white kids that actual pay for their education pay for the food of the nigs to.
>>
>>720099271
Op was stealing from the nigger's fridge the whole time.
>>
>>720095827
Underrated
>>
>>720099892
Figures, whites keeping the black man down again.
>>
>>720093425
I had to room with dirty nigs once. Bought a used mini fridge/microwave and put it in my bedroom. Kept all my shit in my room. Bought a real door (not some cardboard piece of shit) and deadbolt lock. Also a security bar for when I was inside. Also, a gun.

Not so scared of the nigs I lived with but the city nigs they brought home would get uppity sometimes. "What you go in there?". And point too my room. All niggers should hang.
>>
>>720096560
Awesome
>>
>>720098772
How is it a felony to poison your own food?

"land of the free" indeed.
>>
>>720100753
Well if you eat it by mistake it is the taxpayers that have to pay for cleaning up after you roll around on the floor while poop and vomit shoot out of both ends as you die a slow death
>>
>>720093425
>cum in all your food
>eat out until it's all gone
>???
>tell friends what you did
>>
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>>720101384
>op is really a homosexual besides being a faggot
>>
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>>720093425
Laxatives combined with over spiced stuff. Not the lame stuff. The Kind of stuff the burns when it enters your Body and doubles up when leaving. Now mix them together and wait. Should be fun.
>>
>>720095325
And the potential of spit roasting your girlfriends while you watch putting your groceries up in sad disgust.
>>
Put some of your man gravy on the food. Put some in the gallon of milk. Let them monkeys eat that shit. Never know the difference I suppose. And you go about your normal white life
>>
>>720093425
make delicious cakes etc and leave it out on the open with a "please help yourself" sign next to it
>>
>>720093425
take the food he is commonly stealing, and make it as hot as you fucking can, i mean
HOTTEST SAUCE IN THE UNIVERSE - 2ND DIMENSION
(seriously google it)
hot

protip don't accidentally consume this
>>
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>>720103306
>state of /b today
>>
>>720093425
Listen cheap fag, if you're that hungry suck their cocks ! Then the day you decide you can stop being such a fag go tell them to stop eating your shit. I'm pretty sure they just do it cause you're being a douche all the fucking time.
>>
>goto kfc
>order chiken
>chiken chiken nugets
>tendies
>put a tendie under their door
>wait
>his friend will look for a chiken tendies
>he sees a chiken tendie
>tries to eat it
>pull the wire, which u coneccted earlier
>niga goes 2 u
>make him a slave
>tell him to kill his berbst friend
>he kills him
>u got a food nigga who will bringbt a food 2 u
>>
>>720093499

Or just go to to chemist and get some liquid laxative?

If anything happens just say it was my food why the fuck did you eat it?
>>
>>720104553
the right answer
/thread
>>
>>720104553
So how old you and how many niggers did you meet.
>Suicide.
>>
>>720104663
He is 12 and the only one he knows is your mom.
>>
>>720104663
This.
A nigger would beat the shit out of you if you would only tell him that you made him shit his pants with out him ever even shitting his pants.
>>
High scovile chilies like ghost, reapers, scorpions if you want to be a dick. Anything in the datura family if you really want to fuck with them really bad.
>>
>>720093425
rat poison is dangerous
do not use rat poison
do not put rat poison in the grape soda
do not put rat poison on the chicken
do not put rat poison on the watermelon
>>
>>720093425
get a bucket of chicken, write 'nigger' on the bottom inside of the bucket, and wait. He will only read it if he steals it.
>>
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>Blend in like this
Camo is always good, use darker top soil from north america for negros, this is midwestern clay, for mexicano camo
>>
>>720093425
Rat poison in food.
>>
>after blending in wait in pantry for the food thief
>jump out when he grabs chicken
>hug him and get your great muck all over him
>>
>>720104968
Kek.
>>
>>720093425
Black people like doggy style, you could try that?
>>
Put rat poison in the food or mix raw, rotten chicken juice into it and watch them get salmonella.
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