Me and my fiancee decided we'd try a threesome with both another man and a woman. After agreeing to this my fiancee mentioned that her old sex buddy (who I hate, who she knows I hate), would be the best option because she knows him, it's safe and comfortable, he's good in bed, it's easy to organise, etc.
So yes, logistically this makes sense.
But at the same time, are you serious? You want to fuck an old fuck buddy with me there? For context she's just repeatedly brought him up at shitty times. Like I'll say:
>"Wow I can't wait to have anal with you" >"Meh, I did it with my old fuck buddy. It's whatever."
She's done this with multiple things sex related, to the point where I've just said "I'm not comfortable talking about him. Ever. At all. No more."
And then she's trying to get a threesome going with me and him. Isn't this just a flat out horrible, horrible suggestion? After stating "No! No. Absolutely not. This was a bad idea." She continued to push for a threeway. I thought that she was just pushing for a threeway in general to get me back on board with it. But then when I relented a little and said "Okay, give me some time" she said "Good, I think you guys will get along. You have a lot in common." And I couldn't believe it. She was still pushing for THIS SPECIFIC GUY.
So am I being unreasonable? Is she just being logical? Is it just easier for us to have this guy instead of some guy from Tinder? Am I being overly sensitive? Or does she subconsciously want to fuck him still and she's just realised the only way to do it in an acceptable manner is with my permission while I'm there?
Also, I'm 26 and she's 19. Yeah. This might have a lot to do with it.
I figure that she thinks she's missed out on a lot of experiences. And for context, she also had a threesome planned with this guy and his GF when I met her and made her go exclusive with me. Hence why I'm feeling insecure. It's like I denied her an experience and now she's desperate to make up for it.
>>720038594 Yeah I know, I'm not going to do it. But am I being unreasonable? Is it probable that she secretly/subconsciously wants to fuck him still? How could she even ask this when she knows I hate him? Does she not give a fuck about my feelings?
>>720038761 Not unreasonable at all, OP. Seems she really isn't taking your feelings into consideration. Maybe it's because she's young and has matured enough yet. She probably just wants to fuck him if she keeps pushing for him.
If anything, agree to have a threesome with the fuck buddy if you have an FFM threesome with a woman of your choice first, then dump her after that's done. I wouldn't stay with her.
If she declines then just dump her. You don't want to marry that.
>>720038184 This bitch is already fiending for other dick. She is not, and never will be, a long term keeper. Understand this and do this > agree to have a threesome with the fuck buddy if you have an FFM threesome with a woman of your choice first, then dump her after that's done. Once again. This bitch is *not* a keeper. She lost all worth when she started asking you to be okay with other dick.
>>720038184 At this point, it just seems like she just wants to fuck him without consequences. Better leave her now, because I don't think it'll be long before she's banging her ex whether the three some happens or not.
>>720038184 You're a fucking idiot m8 might as well get straight to sucking some cock at the rate you're going. Enjoy getting cucked by your slut, my girl isn't stupid enough to say some shit to me about "fucking some other guy" man you guys need to get your whores on a leash jeez
The way me and my GF do it is to make sure were both completely comfortable. If you have any reservations about doing the 3 way MMF with that guy then absolutely dont do it and put your foot down and be absolutely firm that it isnt happening. If you get sort of roped into doing it you wont have fun, you'll hate it, and afterwards you'll just be paranoid about everything and it will ruin whatever relationship you have.
Same goes for the other way too though, if you're gonna swing a 3some she has to be absolutely comfortable with who the chick is. Think about it, your GF is gonna let you stick your cock in some other chick, shes gonna have to completely 100% at peace with who it is.
>>720038184 It ain't about the threesome, it's about her wanting to go fuck her old fling. Since you said she's bi the ffm threesome is probably just icing on the cake for her, but deep down it's just a means to an end for riding that guy's dick one more time. Plus it's in a way that let's her do it without having to feel bad about cheating on you.
>>720040726 Or just pick wisely in who you are going to be monogamous with. The wife and I have fucking great sex and I have zero desire for other women. Half you faggots cant tell a good woman from a prostitute.
Venturing into threesomes is a challenge for any relationship; only emotionally mature and openly trusting couples are able to pull it off.
I could be wrong, but my take is that she wants to have sex with this guy again while technically not cheating on you. By agreeing to a threesome, you are sanctioning her sleeping with an old boyfriend. It doesn't sound like a good idea, and she doesn't sound like an emotionally supportive partner.
>>720040873 Well the thing is that some of these females put their best foot forward, the white inside starts coming out as they're more comfortable with you. That's when you have to kick them to the curb. The thing you faggots are ok with is your bitch actively trying to immasculate you right to your fucking faces and you pissy bitches are perfectly ok with tasting some other guys dick.
Don't do it guy, have a long travel and then search for a guy online, do a threesome and then block him everywhere (don't save names or number, don't give him yours of course), you both will have a good fuck and won't hear him anymore!
Addendum to my post: I wrote thinking she was your girlfriend. Now that I realize you two are engaged, I would take the time to really consider your future.
If you boil all this down, you have your future wife - consciously or not - disregarding your emotional needs, oblivious to how her actions are affecting you. Any marriage counselor would tell you this a huge red flag.
Run. Ghost her. Don't tell her the reason. Calmly pack her shit overnight, put it at the front door. Write a note explaining that your relationship is terminated, and her eviction is non negotiable. Give her 24 hours to leave. Go buy a prostitute or two and some scotch to kill the remaining sadness. Never reply to any attempt of reconcilliation or communication.
>>720041554 Thanks for the help, you summed up my thoughts really well.
Basically I said that that doing it like this meant that the only person out of their comfort zone was ME. The other guy would be having just another threesome, which he does all the time with his GF. My fiancee would be fucking two guys she's already fucked before and knows she likes, will enjoy and have a good time with. Meanwhile I'm the only one here with any question marks at all. I don't know if I could even deal with another guy fucking her. I don't know the guy, but I hate the idea of him. I don't know anything.
Basically this whole idea seems very one sided and I'm the only one taking any risks.
I said this to her and she rejected it point blank. Like "I don't know if I'll like it either. I'm nervous too."
So she was completely unwilling to grant that I'm going to be uncomfortable and that it didn't seem fair. She also said that it would be better for her to be comfortable and safe, rather than with some random from Tinder. I disagreed.
The other thing is the power dynamic. If it was a random from Tinder then it would be like an interview, pretty much. He'd have to meet us in a bar, impress us both. It's like a shared decision. I feel very in control and in a position of power. Whereas if it's her and her ex fuck buddy, it's like the whole thing doesn't have much to do with me. Does that make sense?
I think your reaction is normal and very understandable. As always, I think the best solution would be to tell her directly how you feel about that. She must be able to understand why the situation makes you unconfortable, and she may just change her mind once she realizes that its a legit problem for you.
sorry for bad english, i hope your problem will be solved
Yes, that makes sense. It is very much a one-sided decision. If I were you, I wouldn't go through with it, and would be pondering over whether or not this is the girl I want to marry.
However, if you are committed to this relationship, I'd urge you to talk with her about how this affects you. Encourage her to view it from your point of view: how would she feel if you proposed a threesome with a hot ex-girlfriend?
its strange, but maybe she will just accept that something she cannot understand is important for you ?
Its like when a couple doesnt share the same political views, they can still talk and respect the other's point of view while not understanding it
>>720042110 also i find your logic really legit, you clearly thought about it and you are not acting just by basic jealousy. Espeially the power relation thing seems very important to me too, its a very good point to bring.
>>720041863 >>720042335 its me i m just not happy with that whole.mmf stuff why op have to be a cuck why.he cant be a faking man and leave the bitch bitch is.a.bitch never trust.a bitch i feel that who have a faking partner and would like to.suck other cock dont say that she is.a.wifematerial.angel she is just a.simple.whore leave her or regret the marriage
If you were merely dating, I'd say why not. You get to fuck other women and she gets to fuck other men. If you realize that this isn't for you, dump her and start again. You are planning on marrying her. DO NOT DO THIS! Unless you enjoy wondering if it is safe to eat your wife out when you come home, like getting tested for stds every 2 months and/or the thought of paternity testing all of your children fills you with wonder, much like opening a present at christmas, do not marry this woman. Even if you never get into the mmf threesome, this woman will never be faithful to you. Her old BF will always be around to plow her fields when you are not around.
First thing first... Quit being a bitch and have a serious conversation about it. Lead with how you feel. "I hate this guy. I feel competitive cause I know you guys had good sex or you wouldn't have had him for a fuck buddy at all." Be honest. "Blah blah blah. I'm sad and disappointed that even tho I told you I won't consider it at all." Ask her if she's not satisfied sexually. Ask her if she'd just prefer a more open relationship. If that option is NOT OKAY for you, tell her you're not comfortable with her sleeping with people indiscriminately.
Maybe get on fetlife and start a profile. Head to some kink parties. Maybe get on swingular or polylife and make profiles there. Read The Ethical Slut.
>>720038184 mane, its very bad. i think its best to say something like fuck you, and leave/ but its my opinion, wtf this girl is your fuckbuddy? or its something serious? if you serious with your feelings - you have to be more radical, cos if something will go wrong later - you will be sad cos of all this wasted time on this/ or you can beat the shit out of her buddy, just for your pleasure, id did something like that
>>720038184 Fucks sake, OP, don't marry this hoe. There are SO many better girls out there, dont waste your time with her, its not worth it. Mark my fucking words, OP, she WILL cheat on you. Even if you cuck out and let her do the threesome, she'll leave your ass and fuck him. Get a girl that makes you happy and loves you. And if you want to keep this girl? Make it known that you dont fuck around. Drop little hints alluding to "I'll fucking kill you and make it look like an accident if I ever catch you with another man." Make it known you dont want her talking to, thinking about, or even BREATHING the same oxygen as this faggot. Or you could do some really saucy shit, like make her have a threesome with a girl that makes her insecure. Idolize and fantasize this other chick 24/7, and when your bitch has had enough, rub it in her face. Although this could backfire and she could end up cheating on you out of spite.
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