>>720002431 I keep a flask with me at all times, but try to keep it to pills while at work so people won't smell it on me. I'm an aspiring writer (like all teachers?) and I just moved back "home" after ten years on the road (mainly the states and China)
>>720002772 I am a mess, I'm teaching art and literature + English. My students love me, and I enjoy being around them, but as soon as I get home or am alone I get so fucking low I want to top myself. Got a girlfriend too, but I don't know
>>720003130 No, I recently returned to Sweden after ten years of just bumming around. Did some TEFL-jobs, but I've always been drinking. Or rather, didn't touch a drop until I was 18 because of alcoholism in the family.. Once I discovered the buzz I just couldn't keep away. Always kept a job though
i hate to say it, but maybe it would be easier if you start being sober again, the first weeks will be hard as fuck. but it sounds like quite a hard depression, and if you keep going this way, it'll end you
Being dependant on drugs is hell and you're on two of the worst, opiates and alcohol. If you got clean from them, I'm sure your mental state would improve. You would probably be much better off physically as well
>>720003177 That's a good idea. I've been on antidepressants since forever, the only problem with therapists is the commitment - I work because I have to, the rest is I just sort of try to take the easy way out
>>720003380 I myself just recently kicked a horrible OXY habit. Been clean for a month. I feel much better overall but still deal with depression from time to time. That's to be expected but I have medicine and coping skills to deal with it. Kick the opiates at least bro. Will do you a world of good.
>>720003380 then do it, dont just say that it is an good idea, you have to do it, Because you sound exactly like the kind of person that will mark something, and then simply forget about it, or even worse think aboout it and decide you dont actually need it, because its so much commitment, time and work
>>720003567 I agree with anon. Don't worry about your job, I'm sure Sweden has great healthcare benefits and you would be under the care of a doctor. Get better for yourself and in the long run you would be better for everyone like your students, family and friends
First off, thank you both - might seem over the top, but I'm not drunk yet and I mean it, thank you /b/ros.
When I do try to sober up, I just get so bored I either go into a state hypersomnia or the opposite, and I get irritable as fuck. But I try from time to time, but I keep falling off the wagon. Working on a novel and merely looking at the word "beer" makes me thirsty.
>>720002035 >alcoholic teacher from Sweden dude!!!! that is soooo fucking expensive in Sweden. literally you are pouring gold in your mouth. south-east eurofag(balkans) here. sorry to tell you but you don't have a proper drunk culture there, in the north.
>>720003682 In China I'd drink about two six packs a day, but I'd work long hours. Here I get off early and finish a small (350ml) bottle of whisky every day. Been off and on for a few years, so I think it's "under control", but obviously, as well as "things could be worse" it could also be a whole lot better.
>>720003805 You need to be under the care of a doctor bro. I'd suggest a 1 week detox where you can kick the habits comfortably. They'll make it real easy physically and then help with the mental withdrawal. Depression is a huge part of the withdrawal and it's probably worse than any physical withdrawal which is why people usually hop back into a bottle.
>>720004065 Not true! I had a heavy drinking problem and when I went to detox I ended up with DTs. Crashed 3 times in the hospital. OP needs to go to a medically supervised detox or go to the hospital.
>>720002035 My high school maths teacher was an alcoholic, too. He also smoked a fuckton of cigarettes. Not many people knew this besides me and my buddies, even though he reeked of booze 24/7. When we asked him what he does in his free time he said that he ,,sleeps 'till 3PM''. He was a very intelligent individual who clearly lacked purpose in his life.
>>720004065 Thanks! Yes, like I said in the op, it's a whole lot of boredom and despair. In the summer I like to walk around, just to keep myself occupied, but now it's so fucking cold I just stay indoors, plan lessons about Bukowski and the American greats, drink and wait until it's late enough to go to bed while drinking. Not much of a workout kind of person, so I don't go to the gym or anything, maybe I should?
>>720004260 Thank you, veery much appreciated! I don't do much, I read, write and like to travel. I have like three friends and none of them close by. Apart from the drinking, I really enjoy hanging-and helping out, hence teaching.
>>720004584 Thanks a lot, man! I'm usually just a lurker on /b/ and have been for years, don't want to come off like edgy or bitching a lot, but sometimes life just gets the best of you, you know? I sincerely appreciate yours (and everyone elses in this thread) support. I don't think it depressive to turn to you guys, even though I have a girlfriend, just because you're all here for some reason similar to my own
>>720004673 I start the day out with oxy to kill the aches + make me social and "fun", it's an expensive habit so by the time I'm coming down I try to be on the bottle already. Some days I feel too sick and tell myself to just quit, but usually the jazz hands kick in around noon and I sneak off to the pub on my lunch break
>>720004099 i'm from bulgaria. we have alcoholics here too. but out problems are connected mostly with local village morons who are trying to distiller, sadly for them unsuccessfully, alcohol. they don't know how to filter the alcohol from the bad stuff. and most of them are getting fucked by it.
>>720005084 I've been contemplating joining the army, just to get myself straight, but haven't been sober long enough to think it'll work yet. Apart from that I help out with the younger kids at school after hours sometimes, just because I'd feel bad if I was high at the time
>>720004966 I been where you are. Hell, I'm there now. Opiates really drain your life and numb you to emotional bluntness. I think what you're doing in this thread is great. Better to let it out over keeping it in. We all need some help sometimes. Can't be afraid to ask for it.
>>720005513 Thanks! Yea, I figured talking about it and acknowledging the problem is a start. Lots of great feedback, input and support - both from anons in similar situations and those who just want to help.
>>720005502 don't start with the cheap booze please! every time when I said to a nord that I'm from bulgaria they have 3 questions to ask: 1. Why the alcohol is so fucking cheap? A: Because, we don't have regulations about distillation like in the western countries, anyone here can make a distillery for personal use only. 2. Do you eat yogurt all the time? A: Yes, all time, all year. If it's cold out side we put a hot water in it and drink the stuff. and 3. Do you know how to make an alcohol from yogurt. A: Yes, we know but we are not going to tell you. look anon there are many different things apart from alcohol. road trips for example. btw you mention "booze". the real "booze"-the drink (called bosa)is a fermented drink under 3% alcohol and the children here are drinking it. you may switch to this stuff. you can't get drunk from it because you will die by hydration- too much water, before get drunk. or from diarrhea, because it's spoils easy and then it effects like laxative.
>>720003073 Well, you keep adding chemicals to your body that stimulates by force. You need to rid yourself of all types of "free" stimulation and find the types you need to work hard for. This works, there's no doubt about it, problem is that it's fucking horrible until you're happy.
GL, I didn't manage. Misery picks us. Live with it and find a way to use it.
>>720006456 i have been vaping weed for 10 years been smoking it 4 years before that, i drank 200 ml of vodka a day for a while, one week i drank my self in a stuper with around 350 ml a day and puked blood. now i have started drinking again, bailees for the past 2 months or so every day 3 glasses that and benzedreen meds occasionally when i feel like its a bad day, not that those help.
I just have nothing to do nothing to look out for im just waiting to die and i seen all the movies and played all the games. life isnt worth it.. i cant take fun out of my day to day life, which is nothing for me being a agrofobic for the past 10 years.
Being sober just turns me to pure rage as i get annoyed by every stupid thing that comes cross my path that and i cant relax and find entertainment sober..
Sometimes i get the impuls to start murdering ppl but whats the point. i sought help and those fuckers fuck me up even more and contact the police every time i say something that is scary.
>>720006657 Tror att det här varit enda Sverige-relaterade tråden på länge som inte gnällt på invandrare. Skiter faktiskt i vilket eller varifrån, så länge man är en hyfsad människa som kan ta ansvar för sitt eget förfall.
If you quite beznodiazepines cold-turkey you're likely to get braindamage, especially if you've been mixing with alcohol as it's impossible for you to know how much you've intensified the effects and countereffects of the pills.
It's a little different with dosage and strength but usually 4 weeks on some heavy benzo would be enough time to get addicted.
I highly recommend people to cut the daily dosages into smaller bits, so you can quit slowly with smaller and smaller doses as time goes by until you're at 0.
If you're going to abuse drugs, at least avoid the brain damage. Also do the research yourself for more accurate numbers and to educate yourself in your MAIN pasttimes.
>>720008536 oh, how i would love to have a worldview as retarded as yours. where every bad thing that happens to me or my people is the fault of the jews. life must be so easy for imbeciles of your kind
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