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hey /b/ ive got a question for you, let me explain first: so

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 88
Thread images: 6

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hey /b/ ive got a question for you, let me explain first:

so theres this cat my mom feeds and lets in the house and stuff. shes basically adopted him since our last one died and she wanted a cat.

the problem is that hes an asshole to me. im nice to him, pet him and give him food and let him in and stuff but then he'll decide to claw the shit out of and/or bite me for no reason. I yell at him and he goes running and i make him go outside. ive ran after him and clapped and stuff so he runs but he keeps coming back. I actually saw him on the porch just now and went and chased him off yelling and clapping while in my underwear.

How do I make him go away for good? I hate this little cunt. He's nice when hes good but the random hissing and clawing me pisses me the fuck off.

I'm considering trapping him in a carrier and taking him across town and letting him go, or taking him to some shelter(that that might cost money and also they will wonder why i have this cat)

I've also considered drowning him in the tub while he's in the carrier.

Poison?

I'm an animal lover and do not like the idea of harming even bugs but I hate this faggot cat and want him out of my life.

pic is cat

what do /b/?
>>
Boobs
>>
no answers?
>>
Here's the best course of action.

Move out of your mom's house and the cat isn't a problem. You pathetic fuck.
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>>719978066
not a valid answer

ill just repost this and say its my gf or wife or something
>>
Put the cat in your car, take it somewhere far away, and leave it there. Rules of nature.

If your mom asks where the cat has been just say you haven't seen it. She'll eventually think it either ran away or died.
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>>719978118

>not a valid answer

how many GBP you got saved up kiddo?
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>>719978133
pretty much what im thinking, he disappeared for a couple weeks when she fell down the stairs near him and scared him.

if i let him go in some rich neighborhood someone will deal with him
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>>719977363
You'll do nothing, because the cat has cucked you. The cat now is the dominant one in the house
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>>719978133
next town over or something would be good i figure
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leave the cat alone

anyway, you should move out of home
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>>719978066
^This. Learn to tolerate the cat, a cat your mom loves (or at least likes), or move out. Any other action is pathetic and-or plain evil.
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>>719977363
ignore it.
pretend it doesn't exist.
>>
Dáselo a alguien más
>>
To preface this is a bad forum, let alone board for serious answers. You also need to be 18 to post here.
That aside; cats tend to 'choose' a single individual in a household and develop an attitude of, at best, mild enthusiasm to complete disdain to the point of violence towards the others (you).
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>>719978328
>>719978335

I didn't ask for living situation advice
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if dubs you seal him in the carrier and make it airtight with duct tape and let him suffocate
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Go to the shelter adopt a mean dog let him do your wet work. Your happy, your moms happy cause puppy, and you got a real mans pet a dog.
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>>719978342
Been trying that. he still comes and meows at me wanting to be let out and wakes me up and won't leave me alone.
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Helium?
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>>719978399

No, but you did ask for a solution to your problem.

A solution that does not harm you or the cat is moving out.

Or are you going to miss the tendies too much?
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>>719978499
just keep ignoring it.
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>>719977363
Why don't you learn some cat behavior and let your mom have something to fucking love. Sounds like the cat may have been abused, and likely you're startling it or not reading it's cues to leave it alone. Ever wonder if maybe it's trying to play and is going overboard?
My cat did that when she was younger and I had to basically let her wound me bad, scold her, then let her do it again, she finally started to get used to how much I can take. Also you could try catnip, once they associate that with you, you're golden.
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>>719978603
I own 60k in cars and motorcycles not having worked a day in my life, along with a ridiculous gaming PC and everything else i could ever want so im not going to move out. i dont have any money or a job.

i dont want to harm the cat, thats why i said i was going to let him go the next town over or something.
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>>719978655
>Also you could try catnip, once they associate that with you, you're golden.

I've given him plenty of catnip and treats and stuff. Doesn't help.
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>>719978704

>i dont have any money or a job

so you ARE going to miss the tendies. like i said originally,

fucking

pathetic
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>>719978704
not to mention i couldnt live with myself if i killed him, but damn would it feel good to do right after he's hurt me
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>>719978824
says the wagecuck

i bet you have to wake up early, actually do work(lmao) then you get home with barely any time to play video games or do anything fun before you have to go to bed and prepare for another day of slavery
anyway this is getting a little off topic
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>>719978774
Then just leave him alone, some cats are just a bit too feral. I don't see any reason to have an issue with the cat if it's not chasing you down to do those things.
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>>719978844
Look strays die everyday, there are some people mostly farmers who shot them with pellet guns. I doubt your mom would be upset if he was missing
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>>719978960

not the guy you're responding to but hes right, you're pathetic as fuck. leave the cat alone if your life is so good?
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>>719978970
but i want him gone

she buys him giant cases of food and shit its annoying as fuck

>>719978983
I'll just have to always stick to the "idk what happened to him" story

>>719979075
thats cool have fun having to put forth effort in order to receive money
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>>719979157
Holy fuck you're a piece of shit.
Like, you're jealous of a cat.
THAT is why it hates you, a cat can spot a shitlord from across a street.
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>>719979433
nah the cats a faggot that attacks me for petting him its not acceptable and im not going to tolerate it any longer
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>>719979467
You keep doing those mental gymnastics, Cartman.
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>>719979552
doesnt take a lot of gymnastics to acknowledge facts
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>>719979467
Either understand your cat hunt catch kill sleep or get a dog to protect you. Dont shoot it it or posion it thats just fucking mean.
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>>719978399
You didn't ask for it but you NEED it tendie boy
>>
looking through this thread, its fairly obvious OP is a piece of shit human being.

kill yourself and the cat will leave you alone. problem solved
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>>719979783
If dubs this OP
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>>719979783
samefag harder
>>
You sound like a terrible burden on your poor mother. I always thought tendie fags were a meme....
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>>719977363
Drown the cat. Cats are disease carriers and you're just asking for fucking rabies. Dogs are much better, they've been an invaluable evolutionary partner to human beings for thousands of years. If you don't kill the cat you'll get blood borne parasites, if you kill it you'll feel better. Drowning in the carrier is ultra-quick, and it will leave no mess. Do this. Don't listen to anyone else, just do this.
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If it bothered you that much you would've killed it by now if you had balls, so just catch it and release it far away ?
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>>719979613
Your entire argument has been "Mr Kitty's food is cutting into my cheezy poof budget and it won't even respect mah authoritah." That seems like a hell of a job to rationalize.
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>>719977363
When you live on a farm with too many cats to neuter, you learn quick to live with yourself with this task. food in hand, hammer in the other. Don't pinch a finger with it either. He'll likely run after a failed hit to the head. Don't fuck it up. Plan on cleaning up for at least two hours. shouldn't take you more than 45 min but you never know when you'll be needing extra time. Plan ahead. I always dig first. Try to keep massive chunks of grass available to conceal the hole you bury it in. Also, hit / kill him where blood soaks into the ground and have water or a hose ready to get the bright ass blood of the grass. Avoid gravel, it'll show up within a few days if it doesn't rain heavily immediately after the deed.
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>>719980168
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection
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>>719979157

>have fun putting forth effort to receive money

OP basically admitted he gets Good Boy Points from his mom

is this real life?
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>>719980125
thinking about releasing him off a bridge or on the side of a very busy road
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>>719980232
also, a trim hammer is too light. A 5lb head is too heavy and you'll fuck it up. Use a 3-3.5 ballpin hammer if you can find one.
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>>719980308
I'm starting to feel like it's a troll
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>>719980461
He's a big cat. I have all kinda of special tools and hammers.

>>719980470
Not trolling.
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>>719978066
this
>>
a feral cat,it might have been abused,maybe has distemper,,or cattenheimers
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>>719977363
how old are you
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>>719980622
Then take him to the pound and you just say you found a stray and no one on your street claimed it.
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>>719977363
Take it to a vet saying you managed to coax it into your old cat's carrier (you had in your trunk) and brought it to them to see if it's chipped.
That way you don't hurt the cat and if it DOES have an actual owner, you will get it to them.
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>>719980830
>>719980926

is this free?
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>>719978960
Hahahahahaha
This must be bait
>>
>>719978844
>after he's hurt me
You're talking like a holocaust survivor. the cat scratched/bit you, I'm sure you'll live you special snowflake. Maybe because everytime he sees you, you start flailing and flapping at him.
Be nice to the cunt and maybe he'll be nice back. But cats hold grudges and take a while to warm up.
Just ignore him and don't go near him. He's a 1 foot mammal, I'm sure he doesn't get in your path too much.

Don't take it across to another town, many cats go into multiple houses, wherever idiots like your mom is willing to feed them.
Maybe their owner is a block away and by dumping him somewhere is causing a family upset and you're also probably letting teh cat get eaten by foxes or feral dogs.

Just tolerate a tiny mammal, eat your hot pockets your mom is microwaving for you and go have fun on 60k of shit you don't deserve you spoiled, underage faggot.
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>>719980093
Dogs helped with hunting and herding. Cats kept vermin form eating stored grain. Guess which one permitted civilization.
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>>719981152
>mad wageslave
anyway if you'd read the thread you would know i have been nice to him, its been months
>>
you yell and clap at the cat like an the autismo sperglord you've shown us you are, and you wonder why it doesn't like you?

has to be troll
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>>719980969
They charge for surrender, but waive it if you're not the owner.
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>>719981425
nah im nice to it, i only yell at him after be bites or scratches me. how is that hard to understand?
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>>719981352

>wageslave

confirmed autistic. no wonder you won't move out. i feel sorry for your mother.
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cats are best

move out of your mothers house you fat cunt
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>>719981535
I feel bad for you having to pay bills

I bet you get sweaty and tired on a daily basis
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>>719981468
thats good

what if i let him go inside a walmart or something lol
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>>719981582

at least i don't get sweaty and tired going up the stairs.

and have a gf

and don't live with my mom

and am not autistic

i think i'm okay with working
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>>719981352
I did read the thread. I own 7 cats and none of them scratch or bite me. they all come up for affection, they are not hard animals to get along with.
I don't see why you have some weird vendetta against people with jobs. When mommy and daddy die you'd better hope you'll get a decent if any inheritence or you're going to regret never securing your future.
I don't give a shit about your petty little life, but the fact you're willing kill a fucking cat or severly endanger its life) over him scratching you when you go near him is so pants on head retarded it hurts.
"Oh no this cat scratches me when I go near it". Solution = man up and deal with it or don't go near the fucking cat. That's the simplest solution. Like, what kind of retard goes near to something that will cause you (albeit small) pain? That's not on the cat, it's on you.

Also, not having a job automatically makes you a useless society memeber. i don't like working either but at least I'm not sponging off other people. I wish i could change society and the way things work but nobody can on their own buddy. I'd rather die tired, old and on my feet than live on my back, having my ass wiped for me and being spoonfed. I pity your parents, but I guess your dad left home or something.
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>>719981674
That's a lot of projection there
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>>719981717
u mad
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>>719981773

So basically you have no response to getting rekt
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>>719977363
If a cat hates you, there's not something wrong with the cat. There's something wrong with you.

Become a better person, OP.
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>>719981582
Please don't tell me you think you have something up on others by living at home with mom.
Having your own place isn't synonymous with being a wage slave.
Some people worked hard at your age, when you're supposed to set yourself up and got good jobs at the end.

But hey, you can stay living with mom where your biggest problem is a contemplating drowning a cat because he scratches you, go ahead.
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>>719977363
Maybe it doesn't like you because it knows what an autistic faggot you are, stop abusing the cat and it'll stop clawing you dumbass.
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>>719977363
That cat looks awesome why are you such a faggot?
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>>719981841
>Everyone in the thread tells him he's a turbo faggot
>Picks the biggest reply he can
>u mad

OP confirmed for fat fuck crybaby
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>>719980461
also also, double down. Wait until the spasms stop so it's easier to carry without getting blood splats on your pants and shoes. try to do it next to the hole or you'll be washing a lot of grass. Keep the head up if you have to carry it, the blood will run down the body and the fur will absorb a fair bit of it.
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>>719977363
If you harm the cat I will find you and beat the shit out of you
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>>719981582
like you arent going to pay bills in the future...

lmao grow the fuck or stay at your mom's house for the rest of HER life not yours cause it'll end the second your mom's does
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i hope worthless fuck OP kills himself
>>
So many white knights
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>>719982284
>>719981980
Edgy pre-teens please leave
>>
Looks like a Norwegian Forest Cat if so is a very valuable cat and explains how it acts send pics of under paws and if its fangs hang out of mouth
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>>719981502
Bites and scratches mean you've done something the cat finds objectionable. For example, many cats don't like people rubbing their bellies, even if they roll over like a dog would to invite belly rubs. Individual cats have certain places where they like to be petted, and going outside those areas can get you growling or worse. Further, many cats will only tolerate a limited time of petting, and will discourage further contact when they reach that point.
>>
Find a gf that likes cats, watch her hug and kiss the life out of the fuck8ng thing, contemplate killing it cause cat eats into your fucky time. Only thing worse than 1 cat is 4.
Thread posts: 88
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