>>719849681 My symptoms have been light until I was about fifteen, it matured and now it's basically getting worse every day. I haven't been to a professional yet, though that's going to happen very soon. When I was younger it was more Schizotypal than anything else, so yes. Only now has it grown into the full disorder.
>>719849985 No diagnosis yet, and I don't want to take medication. I've avoided telling my parents until I got old enough to refuse treatment should they decide I should take meds. I'm going soon, as soon as I land this job I'm about to get. It was hard, my last job was at Walgreens and I had to quit after a year because I couldn't take it anymore. I have more delusions than anything, several times where I couldn't shake the feeling I was a god, even though intellectually I understand that's retarded, I couldn't get rid of the raw feeling. I have three distinct things in my head, they're not audible voices, but they're parallel thought processes that "think" to me. No matter how hard I try, I fail to comprehend my own existence, and I have zero connection or empathy with others. It's impossible for me to comprehend that anything actually exists, and I'm very paranoid at times. Sometimes I get so paranoid people can hear my thoughts, that I do everything I can to make no sense to myself in my head.
>>719850535 Yeah. It sucks, most of my personal relationships have suffered as a result, and it's getting worse. I have episodes almost every day now that can include anything from rage, to paranoia, depression and anxiety. I can't eat and I can't sleep. I feel like shit all the time and I feel like I'm losing it.
>>719850642 You ever thought that medication might not help this and instead maybe you actually have some very strong potential to help yourself and that maybe you ought to stop thinking you are crazy and stop the auto denial and just go with it? Just curious
>>719850672 It feels like I don't exist, that I'm just a shell of a human and I'm drawn to very negative and illogical things. From the time I was eight, I've been obsessed with Demonology and magic, as much as I don't believe either of those things, I can't stop thinking that it's possible. I'm exhausted mentally and physically all the time, and the fact that I'm sharing a brain with three other "things" gets really old after years of them not shutting up. I just want some peace and quiet.
>>719850325 You just sound like you're schizotypal. I knew someone pretty similar (generally speaking) and he explained how he would get those raw feelings but just knew that it was a delusion but it seriously fucked with his head. It may be that it is getting worse, as it can happen with that type of thing but you still seem somewhat connected to reality in the logical sense.
>>719850881 I've seen what meds do, my stepfather is bipolar and he took pills for so long, I've seen the damage it does and I want no part of it. Plus, it sounds weird, but I don't want to get rid of it... It's awful and it sucks, but I don't connect with people, I don't see them as conscious like I am. These things are my only real company, and as much as they torment me, I could never just rip them out.
>>719850973 Heh, I was thinking about something like that, but I love living here too much to move to some shit country.
>>719850325 Also, self awareness is a pretty big determinate for if your schizotypal who gets psychotic episodes (especially during stressful times or even social interactions) to full blown schizophrenia
Dude, you need to like, start enjoying life more, cuz, like, that attitude is not going to contribute to your, like, well being and such, like, you seriously need to, like, get treated or something, like, It's not healthy dude man, it's not healthy
>>719851225 I don't really have self-awareness. I have a higher degree of self-awareness than an awareness of others, but I just don't feel like I even exist. Given the symptoms get worse with stress, but it's getting to where it's almost constant now.
>>719851153 Up not gonna lie if developed you will have something like a superpower, if left to shit. You will drive yourself to insanity I think, don't drink don't smoke don't drink coffee just fucjing harness your brain power, think a mage, or think a warhammer psyker. When they are weak their brain falls to the depredations of the warp and when they are strong they can take on god like abilities, of course is only allegory but maybe you understand, regardless the govt. Loves any reason to chemically lobotmize someone :)
>>719851310 Can't enjoy what isn't there, that's what I'm telling you. I can't go out and be happy because it'd be like watching someone else have fun, even though I'm the one doing it. It's like I'm staring through someone else's eyes most of the time. I can't enjoy things anymore.
>>719851377 Hearing that kind of shit fucks with me, it's what's going through my head at all times. That isn't real, but it's hard to convince myself that it isn't. Also having people like you trying to convince me doesn't help kek. I love WH40K though, badass universe. I feel like I have an abundance of raw power, just that I don't know how to channel or use it. It's very frustrating.
>>719851274 Same deal with him too. Dealing with people, jobs, anything really just put him in this really anxious state. He fucking hates grocery stores and feels like someone walking down the aisle is a "psychic attack" until he leaves and he's like "shit that was so fucking stupid" it's like the stress triggers something and he gets lost in this dissociative, depersonalized state... All he really does now is just listen to Jed McKenna audiobooks and talk about how ego and shit. He's decently "trancended" in some regards, but in others he's almost too naive.
>>719851686 Exactly, I know exactly what he's talking about. I mostly just obsess over things like the Voynich Manuscripts, or The Library of Babel (spent hours in there looking through random data for some important message...) and I'm obsessed with magic and astronomy (not astrology, I don't buy into it surprisingly). Also I spend my spare time listening to music, mostly Rammstein.
>>719851153 You cannot base the idea that "meds are bad" off the experience that your father had. I understand, and empathise with how it felt to see someone go through that, and not want any part of it yourself. But the medication he was on, I'm assuming since he has bipolar disorder and not schizophrenia, will be different from what you are possibly described. I understand not wanting to suck down pills everyday, but giving it a chance may be the best thing. And if not you can always choose to stop taking them; its your body.
Additionally your attitude towards the things in your head; feeling tormented but not wanting to "rip them out" is quite common. I understand not wanting to lose the feeling of being more aware about the way the world and universe seem to work without them, but the question is if they, and not the other experinces you've had, have really shaped your awareness of your existance. Maybe keeping them around isn't the best idea?
Obviously I don't know you nor your life situation, I'm just trying to offer advice based on my own experiences. Hope I wasn't projecting too much and goodluck to you anon.
>>719851602 I study psychology, Jungian thought is my favorite perspective. Its fucking with you because its true. You need to abandon your surroundings you need to go and survive inna woods and you need to come back and work and then travel. Ditch all the other shit. You know its true and just because some fagots are fagots and are too mentally fucked to compregebd you . Doesn't mean 1 billion people in another part of the world won't anyways its your life do what you want, but you said it yourself it gets worse everyday. On that trend it can only end in suicide or permanent institutionalization I think.
>>719851436 Sounds like depersonalization/derealization. I've actually experienced what you're talking about with the whole "watching someone else live your life" like... You touch something and you know you're touching it, you feel it, but it doesn't *click* it's this very hollow feeling. Almost out of body... It was scary as hell but I have OCD and major anxiety and stress so one day it all hit this peak and my brain just sort of dissconnected and it took years to feel anything again.
>>719851962 Can you email me? I know it sounds stupid, but I hardly ever find people that believe those things. I need direction, I need someone to talk to about these things, and it also helps that you're studying that. If you want someone to prod at in exchange for my own questions, I'd love to talk to you.
>>719852018 Glad I could help. The artwork is from The Legend of Korra. Its an amazing series despite it being on nickelodeon. I'm currently re-watching and am on season 3/4. Highly recommend along with the original Avatar.
>>719852120 You're right, I should've worded it more carefully. You can't just stop cold turkey because of the sudden change to the brain's biochemistry. But if you honestly feel they aren't helping then you can decrease your dosage and eventually stop.
>>719851803 In all honesty, when watching my buddy go thru what he's going thru. What I see is like general human problems like, general anxiety with people, awkward sense of self and place in world, does anyone feel like this kinda shit... But turned to volume 11 where it gets blown out of proportion based on whatever it means to you. And considering you definitely have a unique view of the world where you are somehow still here talking to me, knowing on *some* level that I am someone else, yet being incredibly open to the possibilities, I cant even fathome what and how much you go through. That level of balance (as unstable as it may feel) sounds scary. Like teetering on insanity but knowing and being aware of it is like this mental feedback loop of solipsism and exstistental depression.... Here I'll send you a link to his YouTube channel. He's a pretty chill dude once you get to know him. Hopefully his vids can do something for you . https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wxLNEXbOQfM
>>719852578 Thanks man, I appreciate it. It is weird and stressful, seeing yourself slowly go insane, realizing it, analyzing it, and yet still not being able to prevent it. I can only watch as I run for a cliff.
>>719852839 I'm dense, are you referring to me as a god? Or are you saying God is talking to me? Strangely enough, out of all of the things that I feel like are trying to communicate with me, God is completely absent, and He's the only one I actually believe in, intellectually.
Do these other things in your head have a physical form in your mind, when you think about them? If so, did you try to draw them or something? Do they punish you if you do something they don't like? And does being drunk change anything?
>>719852738 I remember my bud saying that too. Its like this ride or something. Like you phase in and out of different states, going "underwater" in this almost alternate dimension and coming out gasping for air realizing what all that experience was about and learning a bunch about yourself through symbols and reflections of experience and shit but never being in control when the next time you go underwater is. Sounds tiring like a full time job
>>719852926 OP you are young one I assume younger than 30, you need to be honing your skills, what was said "full time job" seems to be an accurate description. You need to spend time to decode what these things all mean.
>>719853333 The water analogy being psychosis and reality. Like it seemed to me it was him coping with the information and finding an incredibly unique perspective that wasn't too off the wall like I could still understand it but definitely against the grain
>>719853181 They do, actually. They have chosen their respective figures, so when I think about them, or they "talk" to me, I can imagine them, or even do so if I'm not trying. The first one is the strongest one, and it's a sadistic and evil personality, that basically just looks like a corrupted version of me. He's always convincing me that we're the same more of less, and that everything he wants, I do too. The second one is the most attractive woman I've seen or imagined, she always dresses in provocative clothing, but like BDSM clothing, leather, etc. She calls herself "mommy" and enjoys dominating me, drawing out my desires and sinful fantasies, making me obsess over them, and is basically there to remind me I'll never have what I want. The third one is another version of me, and while he's the weakest, he tends to "take control" more often. He's a younger version of me. He's childish, submissive and yet extremely perverted. He's obsessed with "mommy" and she constantly torments him and makes him jealous, because hurting him also hurts me. He tends to throw tantrums a lot, and he can get pretty loud. He can affect my mood pretty greatly as well. I've drawn the first one many times, but I can't remember where any of the drawings are. I'm not drunk often, but it doesn't change much. When I'm high however, they can either be quiet, or get worse. It just depends.
>>719853483 If you can find practical truth amongst the sea of information, seamlessly augur it into your ability to express yourself. Who knows maybe you will be the next Mozart . when I listen to his Requiem. I hear God .
>>719853333 Exactly. I'd love to talk to him someday. The constant delving into shit that isn't real makes life really hard. How can I hold a job and fulfill responsibilities when I'm not even on this world?
>>719853475 I'm 19. I want to, more than anything. I'd drop almost everything in my life if I had a guide, but no matter how hard I try, I can't figure out how to hone or harness it. It's something that isn't physical, so you can't just fuck with it. I can't use any of this "power" I believe I have, and it frustrates me. How do I do it?
>>719852738 Also this is why I don't think you're schizophrenic. You're aware of your slippage into insanity. Albeit it gets worse with every get go, but true schizophrenia as no "self awareness". You are aware that this isn't "normal" even though that term probably means nothing, you still understand what I mean in relation to the "objective" world. You're not totally crazy, anon. Just different and most likely schizotypal.
>>719853639 I know what you mean. When I hear a lot of music (especially classical music) I think it's what Hell must sound like. I'm obsessed with the idea that Hell is musical, that the Demons play the souls like instruments to torture them.
>>719853693 I get on /b/ almost every day, but I only start the thread if I'm in the mood. Also kek, memes are fucking sacred.
>>719853752 I'm trying, but the level of self-hatred and shame I carry with me is unbearable. I have an overwhelming feeling of guilt I can't find the source of or change. I feel like it's my obsession over the whole "mommy" thing...
>>719853779 I know what you mean, who knows. That's why I'm going to see someone soon.
>>719853807 Tell me more, please. Last night someone used those words and never elaborated. Please continue, anon.
>>719854026 Uh-huh. Maybe if you'd read the posts instead of one out of context you'd realize how much of an ass you're making yourself. I could not give a rat's ass what you think, I know what I feel, and no one can convince me otherwise.
>>719850936 Not sure of my diagnosis. Since age 6 I've had insane thoughts that are totally illogical, it seems that when I was 6 it was a lot easier to push those thoughts to the side, more so than now. Most of mine include; I am god, the world around me is only real if I can see/hear what's going on at the time, I obsess over worst possible outcome in any situation almost to the point of making these delusions reality, something is always telling me to do something insanely irrational, people aren't real, world leaders are demons although I do realize that any of that is non existent, and finally fear of loss of control. Didn't hit me till I was 15 like you. Didn't know family had history of mental illness and I guess finding my mom dead at 14 and a shit ton of marijuana finally brought it out. What's good
>>719854104 Interesting. Not the guy you responded to, but the guy who's buddy reminds me of you. I always thought of angels playing humans souls like an instrument and that's what happiness was. Could be two sides of the same coin. If imagine a demon wouldn't know shit about tonality and just play you like a prepared piano haha
>>719854323 I just try to be as a-matter-of-fact as I can.
>>719854333 That's interesting. I always imagined it as twisting them into instruments we haven't even invented. Using nerves as strings, etc. Also wailing comes into play as musical as well. Interesting to think about, anyway.
>>719854462 >>719854310 Samefag, or just another cluster of retards with nothing better to do. Don't know which is sadder, kek.
>>719854416 Any kind of medication amplifies the feeling of the whole loss of control thing. I would be more content with it if I had any type of empathy for humans, but honestly my own anatomy freaks me out to the point of wanting detained, smoked a couple times since then but gives me a hell of an anxiety trip. You're not alone though, shits fucking rough but it's good to know you're not the only person in the world that feels this way.
>>719854675 >nothing better than do You're on 4chan too? I'll never understand why people use this as an argument, bait or not.
If you truly had the condition, you wouldn't be on 4chan talking about it. Might as well advertise you have Downs Syndrome or Autism. Do you think people think being fucking mentally ill and delusional is cool? Why even mention it on here? So you can feel good when some retard says "woah that's neat" when in reality you're mentally fucked? I'd kill myself if I was in your shoes bud.
>>719854757 I killed my baby sister's cat. Stared at it for a while when I was home alone and sort of went blank. Didn't really have control over my actions, so I picked it up and took it outside, and beat it to death with a metal rod. Worst part, I felt alive, I felt like I ACTUALLY existed for the first time in my life, and it lasted for ten minutes.
>>719854832 Heh, could be. I hate Spanish, I refused to learn it, so I picked up German.
>>719854840 Don't have one yet, and if I could get away with killing someone, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
>>719854851 Nothing better to do than to be a retard in public forum. I'm trying to have conversations with people, and perhaps work some of this shit out. It has a use, I'm doing this with purpose, and (as you can see above) some people might want to talk with someone like me, because they might not know people like me in real life.
Your arguments make no sense, and you're just proving my point further that you're a fucktard. By all means, give me more ammunition, I find this hilarious.
>>719854675 Ha damn, like a twisted Alex Grey painting is what I'm imagining you talking about. I guess I imagined something more "ethereal". I never imagined hell being a physical place. Maybe projected to make it look and feel physical (I.e. My life lol) but I imagine something non physical to just automatically be soothing and heavenly for some reason.
>>719855171 That's an interesting way of looking at it. I always imagined Hell as extremely physical, like that's all there is. There is no escape of thoughts, there is only the physical, because sinners chose physical pleasures over spiritual virtue. That's my idea, anyway, while Heaven is a more ethereal place like you said.
>>719855247 I don't really buy into that. I have a firm belief that thoughts and consciousness is more than just purely chemical. Obviously emotions are influenced and caused by chemicals, but I don't think the entirely of human thought is physical like that. Also badass album, Papa Franku is the fucking bomb.
Well to be honest I just can't wait until I die, there's several sources and facts on how the brain produces its own MDA in huge quantities after your heart stops, setting you up for the trip of your lifetime.
>>719855620 I've heard of that, and it could be possible. But I also don't believe it's possible to stretch a finite amount of time into an infinite amount of time. No matter how much you slow things, it still will eventually come to an end.
>>719855423 My personal definition of hell is just separation from God. Whatever the duck that really means. Just being alone by yourself in a perfect projected reality completely based on you. Hell is personal. If that means physical for you? Then maybe you're worst fear is actually feeling something real. My worst fear is feeling something unreal. Like as poetic as the idea of angels playing me like an instrument feels, that's also terrifying because I'm absolving all control over to this "higher being" like... Physically? Yeah okay a bear can mail me to death, cool. But an angel? Fuck dude... Who knows what Michael could do given the chance
>>719855717 Lots of people believe that. But what is separation from God? God is what supposedly provides everything good, be it happiness, existence even, or any number of positive things. Hell could just be oblivion, because without God observing you, maybe you cease to exist entirely.
>>719855717 Just to clarify, separation from God = pure sweet, 100%, added pulp: ego and all the entails. It of course takes the good to couple with the terrible which is why I feel sometimes like the life we are living now is hell. What better torture for a soul than an incredibly personal one. One where you always feel so close to attaining whatever it is that's closest to your heart, only to have it squandered in some strangely personal way... Of course it's only me saying it so who knows if you get what I'm saying haha
>>719855921 2 things. 1. You're implying God means good. I should have explained but I meant God in the sense of unity, universe, oneness, etc. just pure understanding of both good and bad or neither/or. However it works in the grand scheme of things. And 2. Who's to say God is separate in observation? With the first point I made, it implies that in some way shape or form, you either are God, or in some way related to god so to not be observed and not exist doesn't make sense. Even on a quantum level as if not observed I would just be "potential energy" or a wave so in some way I still exist
>>719856272 Oh, fuck that lol. Nah, I arrived at this conclusion from months of reading about it, hours a day almost every day. I hate self-diagnosis, but I couldn't see anyone at the time, so I just made sure I at least semi-knew what I was talking about before throwing it out there.
>>719856339 It's an interesting way of seeing things. It's just not the one aligned with my beliefs, so it doesn't resonate with me as well, but you do you anon. It's definitely an interesting way to think about it.
Hello OP, I've taken a DNA test and have found a lot about my genetics. One of the things I learned was that I am at an extremely high risk for Schizophrenia. What are the beginning tell-tale signs of Schizophrenia?
>>719856670 Cool. Albeit I don't believe myself to be schizotypal I have had drug induced psychosis and I understand a lot of what you're saying and feeling on a more microscopic level and would love to talk with someone who actually goes through that on the day to day. On a side note I have been told that I'm pretty weird and unique but I've always let incredibly social. I just feel awkward and feel like I think to much kinda thing.
>>719856951 I believe it exists not because I'm told, but because I feel like it does, despite what my intellect tells me. I know what you mean, fear never stand up to time, if you wait long enough, fear will fade away, but in my case fear stretches time, and while it does go away, it seems like it takes forever.
>>719856992 I know what you mean, and I'd love to talk with you as well. I look forward to it.
>>719856800 The fact that you probably will have no idea you are experiencing schizophrenia to be honest. Not OP but a major tell tale sign is not having any sense of external reality in the way you understand it now. The part of the brain that's basically the troubleshoot just sort of shuts down and you can't tell there's a problem. Other people close to you will definitely notice for sure though
>>719857131 No, I don't care about those things. I don't care about the meaning of life, I care about magic, I care about power, and how we can escape this plane, or at least change it to be something more.
>>719857251 OP here, this is pretty accurate. I only know I'm crazy because I'm (at least I hope) intelligent enough to realize it. Logically I see it, but I don't feel like there is something wrong with me, but the raw feeling is that something is right with me, that others don't have.
>>719857320 No? It's primarily genetic but it's a neurological thing. Yes, schizophrenia latent patients may be more introverted but there are many cases of social, outgoing individuals who from some trigger begin to show signs. Usually caused by traumatic stress like a bad trip, a close death, built up stress like college or a shitty relationship. But, again, it's latent so it's corellation not causation. Schizophrenia itself DOES cause isolation for sure due to paranoia for sure
>>719857320 This as well. I spent the good part of my life isolated from everyone, as I was homeschooled in the fucking backwoods with almost no contact outside of my house. It fucked with me and my perception of the world, so it just made my condition worse. Now, I'm surrounded by people, but I'm emotionally isolated. Isolation is the catalyst, that's for certain.
>>719857532 Go see someone, or read up on it extensively. You very well may have it, or at least the early signs of it.
i remember watching a lecture where the professor said that people with schizophrenia often have thing about things very concretely - having trouble with metaphors and idioms, and difficulty with abstract thinking. he also said that self mutilation especially genital mutilation is common. i'm curious what your experience is.
>>719857628 Sounds like a good idea. I've noticed the symptoms becoming worse or maybe appearing during the time I've become isolated. Now I am almost completely isolated at 20 and my mental condition is pretty bad, although it was way worse at times in the past.
>>719857528 >>719857555 That's what I feel schizotypal is. Like, OP, the part of your brain that troubleshoots and is able to tell "something" is off (non-homeostatic) is still functioning, but psychosis is powerful and stress is the common factor in most mental dysfunction. Like even "functioning" adults under stress cannot compute properly. It's no wonder why with the schizo "overtone" plus a functioning brain why you come out so unique
>>719857807 I don't believe that, but I do believe happiness comes from knowledge. I hunger for knowledge of any kind, but I do think that there is a point in which I will have had enough to be happy, not that I'd stop, however.
>>719857852 It's iffy for me. I love metaphors, when I can understand them. I often feel like I'm too dense, like I can't grasp what others are saying if they don't outright say it. Self-mutilation is something I have a very specific opinion of. I hurt myself at times, but out of a sense of penance, to alleviate (though it never works) guilt, and when "they" tell me to enough to convince me. I don't cut myself, it leaves evidence and I don't allow anyone to see what I do. I normally whip myself, and because I never take off my shirt - no one knows. I despise self-harm for the purpose of attention.
>>719857858 Oh, I see. I'll be sure to think about that, and research more. Thank you.
>>719858065 Not have empathy is NOT normal. Like maybe I'm jumping the gun but if you mean at ALL? Then no, it's not. You should at least feel something with those who you respect or feel close too. And paranoia to what extent? Like fearing a shady looking individual? Sure. The government? At this day and age? Reasonable. But the weatherman? Or the guy you never knew at all before until this very moment because you just happened to notice he's wearing the same colored tie as the communists? Don't think so pal. In moderation, sure a pretty good defense mechanism but otherwise no
Hey anons, im an artfag that has similar experiences with all y'all and what ya said ITT has been really interesting. Id like to email you and i dunno, maybe show you some of my art about this sort of thing Whats all the emails? sorry lil drunk to type
>>719858161 Look man what im saying is its not normal to change reactions so quick Therefore the reasoning governs ur emotions Meaning when u fear its just u doing it to urself to pump ur body(natural instict)
I'm OP. I'd be happy to see what you've got, and maybe even give you some ideas should you need them.
>>719858803 That isn't true. Fear is more than survival, especially when you fear things that aren't real, like I do. What's the point in losing sleep over thoughts of being that aren't real? There is no evolutionary explanation for that.
>>719858026 why does mommy make you feel guilty, if you don't mind me asking.
i've always thought that 'loose lips sink ships' was a great metaphor - even without a particular tendency towards literal thinking i find myself imagining huge lips coming up out of the water and sucking boats down into the deep.
Hey OP, I used to have thoughts like yours. I recommend trying Adderall. Adderall saved my life and made go from an introvert with intrusive thoughts and edgy interests (demonology, hentai (lol)) to an extrovert that is now getting a degree and has had one of the best couple years of his life. I have great fucking friends, about 3 different man circles of them, I'm in good shape, I'm happy and I'm really excited for the future and the now. I took Adderall for a year, once a week, and learned to appreciate schooling and fast thinking. I thought more logically and loved conversating and debating. That was two years ago. I now take st johns wort as a mood stabilizer, although I began using it as an antidepressant. Please OP, consider a pharmacological approach. You don't need to go to the doctor. Just find some Adderall or go to the vitamin store for some SJW. Life is fucking great man, and you just gotta grow into it, neuroplasticize and all.
>>719859457 Psych. Adderall is the worst thing for someone who may have a predisposition with schizophrenia. That shits practically medical meth and meth in its purest form can induce permanent psychosis to those with the latency. Given what OP has talked about and his own disclosure of experience I honestly think long term usage with that drug would fuck him over. Talk to a doctor OP. More reliable than us fucks in /b/ land
>>719849539 I have scizophrenia in my bloodline and don't really want to end up like that. Now that you look back on your life, without delusion, is there anything that contributed in becoming mentally ill?
>>719859723 Not trying to knock you off your high horse, bud, but considering what OP was talking about. What was once neuroplasticity is hardened clay that sounds pathological at this point. I'm glad it worked for you. Even I have had great experiences with adderall. It's just knowing chemically and psychologically what it may do to him I just got to put in my 2 cents
>>719860137 I appreciate the feedback. I am probably wrong in suggesting an amphetamine to OP, just wanted to let him know there's some way to reach hope and mine was through that chemical. But you're right. It would probably do him more harm than good.
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