does anyone else really like being submissive?
like not even in a sexual way, I just like being told what to do and pleasing people.
Anyone else like this?
So I'm curious. Does it involve neglecting yourself with the consequence of lack in self-respect. Or, is it rather a role-playing thing or lighthearted thing? I guess what I wanna know is, is it deep down based on fetishising a former abusive relationship: revictimizing to cope with a trauma?
I guess I could understand that to some extend, even if I don't consider myself "submissive".
I would say however, that to give up your will to someone relieves you of the anxiety of decision-making and responsibility. If the recipient gives you encouragement, that is a good feeling too.
As a recovering sadist, i can tell you that there are a lots submissive people.
That makes it so hard to not slip into my old ways. I have to be very careful when i meet new people or have a relationship of any kind.
I guess you would apply to my point here, not to say "wrong", but since you say recovering (sadist) I assume it was undesirable. I think there's a power dynamic to everything obviously so I cannot possible say which one is "right" or "wrong"-minded. Think of this: Do submissive people need sadists, and vice versa. Why isn't that win-win. Even if it's about role-playing these roles.
Because sadists/master types can easily be prone to actual real life abuse, and submissive/slave types can easily be prone to being abused and taking it. There's a blurry fucking line between sexual domination and actual domination, the latter of which is real abuse and can damage people and relationships irreparably.
that blurry line you speak of is interesting. We could go as far as saying practically the majority of people get off on being dominated say - by the state/government: having a politician (who thinks he can dominate people).
In my case, my sadistic tendencies led in to many negative things. As you start to see others either prey, puppets or enemies. It leads to narcissistic behavior and that is very destructive.
I'm on the opposite end. I'm dominant in non sexual was such as just sorta talking differently with a submissive, or helping tie her shoes, ordering for her in a restaurant, or generally making her feel little.
Yeah I guess haha, never really thought about it. I've sorta just always been the dominant type, in and out of the bedroom. Like it's more of a lifestyle choice than anything else I guess.
That is very well put, I see what you're saying. Interesting that you devided people into those groups, that seem very logical but first and foremost - practical to you narcissistic goals so to speak. I guess, someone who doesn't havo those goals wouldn't look at people in that way. Even if, they would realize they're not ouside of it, but only "in it" experiencing it among other people.. struggling to be happy. or something.
>does anyone else really like being submissive?
>like not even in a sexual way, I just like being told what to do and pleasing people.
>Anyone else like this?
Fuck no. Only betas are submissive. Dominant people like me are alphas. Fuck what people think. I'm not there to please people. What type of gay shit is that? Pleasing people smh
When I was at my worst, I could make those whom had fallen my prey to do almost anything I wanted. They felt loved and important and same time became more and more addicted to me and my influence. When I think how i was back then, and how i saw others, it horrifies me
i feel you, at some point the power and superiority feels werent enough (like how you need higher doses of heroin to get high when an addict) and made em cut themselves for me and make em say they enjoyed being raped and allowed it like a whore and watch em cry on camera, its really terrible when you kinda wake up and realize what you did
Just my two cents: I think betas creep alphas out. They're looking for approval all the time, and alphas be like: I can't fucking help you, what's your problem? Alphas get the shit done. Betas need it.
PS.I'm not very alpha, but I can imagine :)
here's what I think
beats: no self confidence, will follow despite reservations, do not enjoy it
submissives: more confidence (although not alpha/dom levels), follow because theyd rather follow than lead, willing to stand up for themselves if necessary
at least this is how I feel
I don't fucking know. I'm also kind of a sadist and blood and gore never really phaze me. Edgy I know but that is just how my mind works. I think I'm polarized since my sense of morality is not the best. Sometimes I'm on a good side then I'm on a bad side. It's complicated.
Logically or the most humanly evolved would be to derive pleasure from making people happy, right? Because you get something out of it. Not only do you get gratification from it, studies show it, but also you get reputation, business: happy costumers, happy kids and so on. Making people fear you has its place, for protecting yourself or others from threats. But to make people fear you in general who are harmless is weird I think.
I have to say, that nothing was more satisfying than turning someone dominant/sadist into submissive. There was feeling of danger and conquest. When finaly someone like that ate from your hand it was terrible sensation of superiority.
It's a natural trait. Especially for men. But the question would be in what way? It could be repeating trauma or just protecting yourself from something psychologically. Or do you think people are born to certain inclinations and such?
Then I guess the trauma comes first that sometimes overshadow the seemingly normality of win-win dom/sub relationship that is all too common in society and relationships in general. I think, once it becomes the primary addition to the relationship it might point to something significant in past relationship when you were actually submissive, possibly neglected - for real. Do you think a lot of people who are primary submissive are even aware of that possibility? Thx
Well I always assume that it's different people all the time saying stuff. so no worries. Yeah it's hard to know, and it might not be any clear instance of it, I guess. It might even be a mistake to look for it.
Excessive bullying, emotional, mental and mainly physical abuse everyday for a year until I got kicked out of my school because they couldn't control the bullying. Maybe some other things as well. I can't really remember nor do I really care.
Funny you would say "excessive bullying" as if a normal amount would not be too much. Okay. I think it's a bit simplistic, there's probably more to it. But you don't really care as you say and I'm really tired so.. We prob won't go into it now
Everyone wondering about betas and alphas. People seem to think that alphas like to look down on betas. What real alphas do is inspire others to be alpha themselves. Don't be a pseudo-alpha or alpha wannabe, it shines through :)
Stay away? You think I don't wanna go back to fighting? I haven't fought anyone in 3 years and that was since I got kicked out of that hell hole of a school. I fended for myself and half of time I won and the other times they won just by out numbering me. I'm a giant of a guy so that's why. Pity nobody wants to fight me anymore :(
Men need to accept themselves to be alpha and recognize their true power in life. Instead we have feminazi infested schools and politics telling "alpha"-men is bad and that it's equal to asshole. Then the result is that the only ones exercising power is the ones who are already assholes who don't care either way.
I do it because I have to. My Tarot card of birth was the Hierophant, whats urs?
Never implied I was
I feel naturally alpha but I'm an ugly manlet so I fear not being taken seriously so I act submissive instead
yeah it fucks with you doesn't it. Masochism is such a rush for me that it affects me during exam time and stuff like that. I'll do badly on purpose just to feel worthless and for everyone to treat me like I'm stupid. When i'm playing games I'll play comically bad as well just to feel the person I'm playing against grow in complacency and feel better than me. FUCK IT'S SUCH A TURN ON!
no I react passive aggressively when i'm asked to do something
to further iterate on my point I find myself to primarily look out for myself. I usually don't deal with others bullshit and I don't like to dominate people either.
I tend to "rise to the occasion". I'm happy doing what needs to be done so the other person is happy.
Admittedly I've always wished someone would take the reins and let me follow. I've not met someone that could do it properly yet.
It's ideal and sweet sounding. I'd like to have this kind of relationship some day.
Anyway, have a nice day/evening.
Do any of you fap to anything other than loli?
if you paid me enough or if I was forced to against my will. possibly from your goons.
No, I love it too. I try to serve women whenever I can even though I'm not getting off on it.
Sadly, a lot of dominant women lose interest when I make it clear I want to keep it out of the bedroom.
>anxiety of the decision-making
See, that I don't understand at all. Being told what to do makes me WAY more anxious and nervous than making my own decisions.
you're literally begging a man for sex. maybe you should reflect on your life.
Yes, I agree with you. Being told what to do raises my suspicions. But I tried to imagine how it feels for the submissive who likes to do what the dominant tells them to do. Also the anxiety of decision-making I see as a general existential concept: reality is confusing, complex and everything falls on our shoulders to decide with full responsibility - but if someone tells us exactly what to do maybe that relieves us of that anxiety and gives us comfort. However it's probably much more intricate than that, for submissives.
could it be said that you are drawn to the danger and uncertainty of that relationship. That is not impossible to understand for me. Altough, when someone gets nasty as the "wrong" people are inclined, my reaction is automatic withdraw from that person.