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please state the nature of the medical emergency

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 45
Thread images: 22

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please state the nature of the medical emergency
>>
I JERKED AND BLOOD CAME OUT
>>
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I took too many Steroids but that isn't really a problem. I actually have this poisonous Ethiopian caterpillar on my upper lip and it wont leave. It controls my life, it's name....is Slick Daddy.
>>
Yes I've been suffering from Priapism for the last 12 and a half hours.
>>
My erect dick turned to tungsten carbide
>>
>>719709950
I just fapped and came to a woman online for no real reason but to cuck out her boyfriend. Kill me.
>>
>>719710365
And yes, this was via a skype call. yeee
>>
>>719709950
My wife is like 2?
>>
>>719709950
Uhh yeah my doctor is a synth and my captain is a hot mama
>>
I voted for Hillary and I'm very butthurt...
>>
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>>719709950
>>
I work in the ER.

Funniest chief complaint I've ever seen written down is "Collar bone sticking out I have AIDS."

We lol'd before we called them to the back.
>>
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>>719710091
>>719710265
perhaps you should try some halodeck therapy. I can set up Mr. Tuvoc's pan farr program.

>>719710233
hmm...I will need to scan you. please lie down on that bed over there.
>>
>>719709950

I voted for Trump and started strokin my lump, now I can't help but release mad dumps.
>>
>>719710814
Pottery
>>
>>719709950
i like turtles
>>
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>>719710310
Perhaps Seven of Nine could better assist with this sort of technology. The Doctor to Seven of Nine, I could use your help in Sickbay.

>>719710365
Crew member, I know copping with the distance can be difficult. Perhaps you should peruse more extracurricular activities

>>719710498
I am sure that Mr. Paris would be happy to take her off your hands.

>>719710365
>>
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>>719709950
A bunch of urban gentlemen of color accosted me in the parking lot of a circle K because when they asked me "WUT DAT SOUND OF A BUSTIN LOOSE NIGGGAAAAAA" I replied "I have no idea what you are talking about, please leave me alone as I only wish to purchase a hotdog and some orange juice"
>>
>>719709950

CRABS!
>>
>>719709950
My daddy fucked me, and I loved it.
>>
>>719711477
That pic is fucking dope.
>>
>>719709950
If I don't get some sex I'm gonna die
>>
>>719709950
I'm dieing of anticipation for the premiere of Discovery
>>
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>>
>>719710672
found some documents for you to review. I have no time to lie down, I need to be at full momentum at all times
>>
I shat blood twice today.

Is that normal?
>>
Sometimes when i pee my dick farts and i start halucinating. Next thing i know, im down in a holosuite fingerblasting Harriet Tubman in a smokey room while christmas music plays softly in the background.
>>
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>>719711662
who is your daddy...and what does he do?

>>719711758
You could benefit from some meditation. Perhaps Mr. Tuvoc could help you, restrain your frustration. Personally, I have always found music to be almost as useful as medication, almost.

>>719711607
What do sub-aquatic invertebrates have to do with your well-being?
>>
There's no more fungilli
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>>719712417
>who is your daddy...and what does he do?
My daddy is a millionaire who runs an e-cig business!
>>
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System Warning: segmentation page fault in Emergency Medical Hologram. Please re-initialize from last backup and restart system.
>>
>>719709950
I can't seem to get my sleep schedule in oder. It's just all over the fucking place. Today I woke up at around 1 AM, and couldn't go back to sleep. It's not a case of insomnia, it's just that getting it to fit the expected "wake up in the morning, go to work, get to sleep at night" cycle. I fequently have to stay awake 24+ hours just to make it compatible with the day-night cycle and don't just oversleep and be late.
>>
I can only maintain an erection while playing The Game. You should try it out
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>>719712610
Transferring program to the mobile emitter. Doctor to Lt. Torres. You are need urgently in Sickbay.

>>719711967
>>719712292
I see Mr. Nelix has been using his Talaxian spices again...

>>719712486
I am sure Mr. Nelix will come up with an alternative.

>>719712599
Your race must be one that still places value in currency. I am afraid it is against Starfleet protocol to interfere in the cultures of evolving species.
>>
>>719709950
I'm frustrated, and have constant headaches because I can't figure out if you're a hologram with true emotions of your own, or if whether you're just mimicking human emotions based on programmed responses.
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>>719709950

AAHHHHHHHHHHH

OH SHIT DOC I'MMA LET YOU FINISH BUT TUVAK WAS THE BEST CHARACTER OF ALL TTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMEEEEEE
>>
I need to ejaculate.
>>
>>719709950
Liberal butthurt in the millions
>>
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>>719713776
Captain, I am simply a hologram...though your encouragement to expand my subroutines into art, culture, music have granted my insights into much more than I was...and I think I am a better physician to the crew for it.

>>719712883
I have no time for such trivial matters. However, something tells me you just lost.

>>719712678
It seems that you need to spend less time with Seven of Nine and more time worrying about your needs Mr. Kim. After all, what good is "perfection" without the ability to stay awake. By the way, I think the Captain needs you to report to the bridge...something about night duty.

>>719713979
Please elaborate.
>>
>>719712883
And I just lost


> Riker should have known better
>>
I've been assimilated by a gay drone and now I have borg AIDS
>>
>>719709950
My child is crying. I dont know what to do. I've tried everything, but she won't stfu. Im about to lose my shit here doc!
>>
>>719716011
You died, came back as a God being, then lost your shit, gained weight, did drugs, and exposed yourself to a mom, and her two kids.You're fucked. Should have stayed in shape, and kept better care of yourself.
>>
Doc I need you to tell me everything you know about the Klingon Gik'tal Challenge
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>>719715464
Naomi, why were you alone with Icheb again?

>>719716667
And excellent diagnosis, but you forgot the temporal directive.
Thread posts: 45
Thread images: 22



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