please state the nature of the medical emergency
I took too many Steroids but that isn't really a problem. I actually have this poisonous Ethiopian caterpillar on my upper lip and it wont leave. It controls my life, it's name....is Slick Daddy.
perhaps you should try some halodeck therapy. I can set up Mr. Tuvoc's pan farr program.
hmm...I will need to scan you. please lie down on that bed over there.
Perhaps Seven of Nine could better assist with this sort of technology. The Doctor to Seven of Nine, I could use your help in Sickbay.
Crew member, I know copping with the distance can be difficult. Perhaps you should peruse more extracurricular activities
I am sure that Mr. Paris would be happy to take her off your hands.
A bunch of urban gentlemen of color accosted me in the parking lot of a circle K because when they asked me "WUT DAT SOUND OF A BUSTIN LOOSE NIGGGAAAAAA" I replied "I have no idea what you are talking about, please leave me alone as I only wish to purchase a hotdog and some orange juice"
found some documents for you to review. I have no time to lie down, I need to be at full momentum at all times
Sometimes when i pee my dick farts and i start halucinating. Next thing i know, im down in a holosuite fingerblasting Harriet Tubman in a smokey room while christmas music plays softly in the background.
who is your daddy...and what does he do?
You could benefit from some meditation. Perhaps Mr. Tuvoc could help you, restrain your frustration. Personally, I have always found music to be almost as useful as medication, almost.
What do sub-aquatic invertebrates have to do with your well-being?
There's no more fungilli
System Warning: segmentation page fault in Emergency Medical Hologram. Please re-initialize from last backup and restart system.
I can't seem to get my sleep schedule in oder. It's just all over the fucking place. Today I woke up at around 1 AM, and couldn't go back to sleep. It's not a case of insomnia, it's just that getting it to fit the expected "wake up in the morning, go to work, get to sleep at night" cycle. I fequently have to stay awake 24+ hours just to make it compatible with the day-night cycle and don't just oversleep and be late.
I can only maintain an erection while playing The Game. You should try it out
Transferring program to the mobile emitter. Doctor to Lt. Torres. You are need urgently in Sickbay.
I see Mr. Nelix has been using his Talaxian spices again...
I am sure Mr. Nelix will come up with an alternative.
Your race must be one that still places value in currency. I am afraid it is against Starfleet protocol to interfere in the cultures of evolving species.
I'm frustrated, and have constant headaches because I can't figure out if you're a hologram with true emotions of your own, or if whether you're just mimicking human emotions based on programmed responses.
OH SHIT DOC I'MMA LET YOU FINISH BUT TUVAK WAS THE BEST CHARACTER OF ALL TTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMEEEEEE
Captain, I am simply a hologram...though your encouragement to expand my subroutines into art, culture, music have granted my insights into much more than I was...and I think I am a better physician to the crew for it.
I have no time for such trivial matters. However, something tells me you just lost.
It seems that you need to spend less time with Seven of Nine and more time worrying about your needs Mr. Kim. After all, what good is "perfection" without the ability to stay awake. By the way, I think the Captain needs you to report to the bridge...something about night duty.
I've been assimilated by a gay drone and now I have borg AIDS
My child is crying. I dont know what to do. I've tried everything, but she won't stfu. Im about to lose my shit here doc!
You died, came back as a God being, then lost your shit, gained weight, did drugs, and exposed yourself to a mom, and her two kids.You're fucked. Should have stayed in shape, and kept better care of yourself.
Doc I need you to tell me everything you know about the Klingon Gik'tal Challenge
Naomi, why were you alone with Icheb again?
And excellent diagnosis, but you forgot the temporal directive.