W-welcome to Cooking with Alice3D! http://vocaroo.com/i/s14

>>719694282
*glops cheerfully*

gay

>>719694282
Hello again. What are we having?

Hello Alice :)

>>719694282

Hi Alice! What's on the menu?

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Have a bump back~

I heard Alice leaks poop. Can anyone confirm?

>>719694282
Hey Alice! How are you?

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>>719694282
>female

My favorite cooking thread!

It's my fathers birthday.

I got my Notebook ready!

>>719694338
you can take your clopping and get the fuck out of here, ponyfag.

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Cringy shit for cringy 14 yo/S

hi alice!

what are we cooking!?

Lurking for interest, I'm hungry as fuck right now.

Tits?

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>>719694539
G-glad you asked. Let's g-get into it as quickly as possible, s-shall we?

T-today we w-will be making a pasta dish, quick, easy, k-keeps you going, center piece of many meals <4

>>719694282
Goddammit, the shitty gloves are back. you had one job.

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>>719694338
*ripples*

Learn to read!

Hello Alice, how are you tonight?

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Good evening, Alice! Happy to see you here tonight. I'll be lurking quietly as usual! How was your day today?

>>719694711
Start cooking already faggot!

>>719694282
I wanna see the fridge, may I?

>>719694711
what made you pick fettuccine alfredo?

>>719694543
Might, shes a crispy critter after getting burned up so if her poop hole is as damaged as her talk hole that might be true.

>>719694711
nice dress alice, is it new

>>719694711
I just made that for dinner ^^

>>719694711
Fuck yeah alfredo.
Excellent taste in sauce for your pasta.

100% a dude
100% ok with this

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I'm ready for some vodka and vidya, but first this thread.

>>719694282
>covering up manhands with gloves

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>>719694711
I'd much rather get a taste of your Futtaccine, Alice

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>>719694761
L-look, first I h-have to show you the ingredient list! S-see? Without t-this, you are screwed!

>>719694776

because its so easy even an autistic trap can cook it!

Aliceeeeeeee
Read my whisper on twitch

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>>719694282
Monitoring the thread.

Would be so kind as to post your stream? I have it on good authority that there is to be one shortly after this thread?

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>>719694338
*pats gently* H-hello dear <4

>>719694498
Hello l-love, how are you?

>>719694539
>>719694410
You'll j-just have to wait and see!

>>719694560
N-not great tonight.

>>719694593
Happy t-to be of service <4

>>719694927
don't think you made that work as well as you would have liked, m8

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bump

>>719694934
nobody cares. just start already

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>>719694282
What's with the gloves? Tired of people posting "I can tell by the hands" over and over? We can still tell.

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>>719695021
T-there will be one tomorrow; I am much too tired tonight.

For everyone:
Twitch: CeltyPlays (will stream tomorrow)
Email: [email protected]
Skype: alicemargatroid2
Steam: Aneki Margatroid
Chat: https://anekiho.me/chat2

>>719694282
LET ME LICK YOUR THIGHS PLEASE

>>719694934
Decent proportions, I like a little bit more cheese in my alfredo.

>>719695072
What's wrong?

Wait, why is my psychologist cooking? Why is she after attention now?
Why does she look like a man?

>>719695072
What's wrong Alice?

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>>719695110
Look, t-there is an order to these things Anonymous!
An order!

F-first we select tea.

Hey Alice! How have you been?

>>719695072
What's wrong Alice?

>>719695072
running a bit late tonight, alice. long day?

>>719695072
Lemme reword the question, it may have come off a rude before:
May I please see what's on the fridge? I know it's a schedule, but it looks off...

>>719694934
Why would you even need a roux? All you need is cheese and cream.

>>719695159
Do you keep it up, after you're done streaming? I got's toonami to watch.

>>719695233
so cute!!!

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>>719695233
TFW no extension to play webm's.

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>>719695210
*blinks* I've d-done this for literally years.
Why would I w-want attention? I just w-want to teach Anonymous some things t-to cook.

>>719695257
It's 10PM; t-this is the time I r-run cooking theads.

They take longer to edit, so they are later.

>>719695225
>>719695254
I've j-just had some dental work done s-so I'm quite uncomfortable dears. N-nothing too serious.

>>719695388
It'll s-stay in the archive f-for a while.

>>719695284
This is t-the diagram.

Alice sits on a vibrator while she does these threads, that's whys he shakes so much

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N-now my dears, s-shall we drink the tea? I'll p-pour you a cup <4

>>719695233
I want the green one..

>>719695553
You made a mess.

>>719695484
sounds right.

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>>719694793
>
It is indeed, I j-just got it in <4

>>719695467
No-no....the written stuff, not the chart. That nigga is on the wall, I'm referencing the shiny thing you keep food in.

>>719695484
Sounds legit to me.

https://discord.gg/HfT5S

>>719694282
How do you remain this cute?

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>>719695707
Sorry, w-we've got to move on <4 I'll s-see if I can get one after t-the thread.

For now, I've written you all up s-some instructions to print out, h-hopefully that will help <4

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>>719695807
Oh s-silly Anonymous, I'm not cute. I'm j-just Alice <4

>>719694282
Sauce on the trap, please!

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>>719695553
No Alice brewing tea leaves is much better! >.>

And I lost the Uzume folder so I'll be Erina for today.

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>>719695951
...Anonymous, I'm l-literally posting still. And I'm n-not a trap.

>>719696063
I want to lick your legs

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>>719696160
...m-moving on, we n-need to make the cream f-for this pasta.

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*pours myself another cup* Slow start to the thread tonight. I'm sure it will pick up soon~

>>719696063
Do you like BARI-BARI GUSHA-GUSHA BAKI-BAKI GOKUN?

>>719695910
Cute and modest

I know your paid listener told you to keep doing these threads because it's a small bastion of pleasure in an otherwise horrific existence, but come on man you know this shit's degenerate

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>>719694282
hay

T-THE STUTTERING IS SO ANNOYING FUCKING KILL YOURSELF!

NIGGER

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>>719696327
*blinks* W-who? What?

>>719696291
I t-try my best.

>>719696352
S-sorry, not today.

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>>719696244
I wana pour some cream all over your boypussy

>>719694282

why dont you cut the bullshit and show us your cock

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S-sadly, I wasn't actually able to complete this recipe, d-due to dental work making it impossible to eat!

S-so I went with something a little easier to swallow whole.

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>>719695910

>>719696551
Then why the fuck did you start posting the other one?

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>>719694934
Alice why are you wearing those OJ Simpsons?

>>719696551
I've got something easier you can swallow whole heheheh show penis plox

>>719696551
RIP Alfredo. :(

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>>719696662
I'm g-glad you asked!

>>719696551
uh ok i guess

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>>719696551
I'd like to butter your noodle and give you somthing easier to swallow whole

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S-so let's rewrite this story a b-bit....

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>>719696551
Buttered noodles?

>>719696718
What are you a chinese restaurant, go inspect your own damn cheese before you buy it

>>719694282

Wow, his may actually be a thread worth enjoying.

>>719696551
this doesn't sound very healthy.

>>719696843
>this doesn't sound very healthy.
I know, this dude has been pretending to be a girl for quite awhile now

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>>719696802
P-please. I'm half Korean, we g-get only the finest ingredients f-from Amazon Prime Now.

>>719696808
P-probably not.

>>719696843
It's n-not unhealthy either; heavy cream and cheese isn't better t-than butter.

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I'm awful posting here but i'll try my best, how do you see yourself in 5 and 10 years Alice?

>>719696785
yea.... Those are totally manly hands.....
idfc anyways

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>>719696967
*nervous laugh* T-that's a silly question Anonymous.

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>>719696718
That door... do you really live on the East side?

if i get dubs then its confirmed that alice3d has a penis

>>719697045
but you already got it

>>719696843
All the recipes she cooks are autist tier junkfood, it's a paragon of western cuisine or lack thereof
Makes sense though, this is food that can be cooked while indulging in self-obsessed dysfunctional sexual fantasies and sharing them on the internet. Perfect for westerners.

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F-first, we n-need to make noodles. Noodles are p-pretty easy and a g-good way to get started. Lots of s-starch and carbs, n-not healthy b-but a firm foundation.

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>>719697119
*blinks* G-grilled chicken is junk food? I'll inform m-my fitness trainer...

>>719697126
Man arms.

>>719697126

>firm foundation

like your cock right

>>719697126
I kek'd

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>>719697126
I'd like to give you a firm foundation to sit on, by which I mean my cock.

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>>719697126
That fire! What the heck is wrong with you, Alice!

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Of c-course, you also n-need to get those noodles wet, s-so be sure to stir them all thoroughly.

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>>719697039
Why is it a silly question Alice?

>>719697220
I missed that one, what was the grilled chicken with? Mashed taters? Only way I could see grilled chicken as healthy is if it's pared with vegetables, and not the kind you microwave from a can.

Alice is the most /b/ thing I've found here in seven years (minus the murders and such).

>>719696718

>i cant eat it because of dental work
>i cant eat it because its moldy
>i cant even show you a picture of it

you could leave a block of parmesan on the floor in your kitchen for a month and it would still be safe it eat

>>719697126
you're so weak, but you look like you're jacked.

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>>719697427
B-because I will b-be here until the day I'm buried, d-dear.

>>719697461
Corn or m-mixed vegetables...b-but also, what? Grilled chicken (especially when low temperature grilled without sugar based sauces on it) is a g-great source of many nutrients.

>>719697523
I d-do my best.

How much water is in the pot? Is there olive oil to make sure the noodles don't stick together?

>>719697523
Stop using the translator dude

>>719697399
look are we gonna see tits or am i just wasting my time here

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>>719696967
I like this question. What I would like to know is when will OP commit suicide or hang up their apron. My guess would be when she can no longer can feel love.

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>>719697590
>olive oil

T-that in no way helps the pasta not s-stick together.

>>719697628
You are w-wasting your time if y-you want mine dear.

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>>719694282
*hug*

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Obviously its a trap
still its quite entertaining

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it begins

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>>719697676
I w-won't commit suicide dear.

T-time to take the noodles out! Don't l-let them drown!

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>>719697399
I'll get your noodle wet

Holy shit youre back lmao, I thought I would never see this thread again

>>719697676

>she

>not relizing that alice has a cock

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>>719697765
B-behave, and be sure t-to mix in butter w-with the pasta.

>>719697788
I've...I p-posted every day last week, did streams, and n-now Nano is peeing in my kitchen.

...

>>719697905
needs to be updated to trump holding the banana

>>719697863
missed that last step cause of the cute dog and got my dick stuck in fan, wut do

>>719697126
This guy is a fucking weak faggot!!

Make me a sandwich, please

>>719697863
Havent been in /b/ in a while, last time I was on this board was like 2 months ago

>>719697461

there is nothing unhealthy about canned or frozen vegetables. in many cases they have actually been proven to contain more vitamins than the "fresh" produce because they were stored at peak of freshness (more vitamins) instead of sitting in the back of a truck for a week

grilled chicken is about the healthiest source of protein you could have

dont know why i am seriously posting in this thread right now...

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>>719698013
K-keep going, and add salt f-for taste.

>>719698018
I'm an 88 p-pound girl, sorry.

>>719697863
are you going to show us your dick or what?

Show us your panties Alice!

>>719695443
Get off /b/, Alyssa.

>>719697399
Nigga did you just put the pasta in cold water?
Porca troia, stop this madness.

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>>719697578
What if 4chan disappears before you die?

>>719697863
NANOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>719697863
DOGGO <3

>>719698079
Even tho you're a raging cross-dressing homofag, I find all this entertaining. Good material!

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>>719698153
T-then I'll buy t-the domain and raise it from the d-dead.

W-well Anonymous? How d-does it taste?

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>>719697863
>B-behave, and be sure t-to mix in butter w-with the pasta.
nah, I am all hot and bothered. I got something better than butter for you to mix in.
Call me baby [email protected]

>>719698368
i'll take it. thanks alice

>>719698368
>sprite
>buttered noodles
the fuck are you doing

>>719698079
So, Alice is an 88 pound female OC. Is the cosplayer also a girl?

>>719698368
I see Sprite, I think I'm in love

>>719695072
W-why d-do y-you s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-stutter l-l-l-like a-a-a-a-a d-d-d-d-d-dumbass-s-s?

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>>719698368
It tastes amazing, thank you for the dinner!

>>719697863
10/10 doggo

>>719698368

I hope you're a girl because i find you cute af.

>>719698053
Frozen vegetables are the same as fresh since they were flash frozen upon being picked, canned is different. You still have to boil them to warmth which is beyond most people.
And one piece of chicken as a meal is what poor working class people eat, that's why the stereotype of black people loving fried chicken is based on cultural history. If you're hungry a "piece of chicken" is an American colloquialism for a minor or insignificant meal.
Oh, and healthiest source of protein? Goat milk and legumes.

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>>719698475
*smiles warmly* H-happy to be of service, Anonymous. I'm s-sorry it wasn't exactly w-what I planned.

>>719698519
The cosplayer is Alice s-silly.

>>719698549
M-my pleasure

>>719698588
I am, s-sorry to disappoint.

Oh wait, you said you prefered me not to be male. Usually it's the other ways these days for some reason.

>>719698580
S-she peed in m-my kitchen.

>>719698588
>cute
>never seen his face

>>719698368

I'm disappointed. Not in you Alice, but in myself for not teaching you better. Next time, know you can cut the mold off the cheese, or scoop it out. It won't harm you or the meal. Parmesan, good, real parmesan, should be able to stay for decades if kept cool and dry. There are stories of people burying parmesan cheeses in wartime and coming back to their homes years later to retrieve them.

>>719698079
Need to see your boobs so we understand the cooking ok?

ok.

>>719697863
God, a faggot in the kitchen.

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>>719698368


who the fuck do you think actually believes your a girl. your a faggot.

-sincerely a non-degenerate

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>>719698696
I w-was short on time, given I w-woke up very late today d-due to opiates.

>>719694282
thats a man

>>719698625
>Frozen vegetables are the same as fresh
Wrong. Frozen veggies hold less proteins since the crystallization of the water destroys a great amount of said proteins. They're still way better than canned, tho, and have a lower amount of added sodium.

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>>719698778
>>719698785
>>719698789
T-thank you for coming t-to my thread tonight <4

as I s-said earlier, I m-may be reached at the following places
Twitch: CeltyPlays (will stream tomorrow)
Email: [email protected]
Skype: alicemargatroid2
Steam: Aneki Margatroid
Chat: https://anekiho.me/chat2

>>719698659
Good knight your majesty.

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>>719694282
>>719694338
Dear god. What on god's green earth is going on here.

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Thank you for the lovely meal, Alice. I always appreciate you teaching these degenerates how to cook <3

>>719698790
Nice, you dress up like a woman, don't leave the house, and apparently you take lots of drugs too. You sound like a very well adjusted person.

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tf did i just stumble into

>>719698800
Grade S autism

>>719696921
kek

>>719698368

You're the worst cook in the world.

>>719698905
What time will you stream tomorrow?

>>719698905
Aww, I wanted to do a cum tribute for you. Next time I guess.

>>719698659
GTFO, you fucking faggot!!!!

>>719698905
Whoa-whoa-whoa....I still need to see the fridge

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>>719698946
I h-had three teeth removed yesterday, and I h-had to walk around Manhattan f-for about five hours to find a pharmacy to fill my prescription s-so I could sleep.

But sure, that's me. Nevermind I work five days a week and do these threads consistently after my work day. Clearly, I don't leave the house enough.

Reasonable.

>>719696718
>delivered
Nigger you think you a maid? can't even fucking do your own shopping.

>>719698905
Why you are a men dressed like a stupid bitch in heat???

>>719696785
"cooking"

>>719697863

I would hate to be that woof woof

>>719699165
chillax, don't fall for the h8rs

>>719699165
And how do we justify (r-r-r-rationalize) the dressing like a woman and posting it on the internet thing?

Will you face reveal if I payed you $30 bucks through paypal

>>719698625

>eating moderate amounts of food and not being obese is for poor people

Juts be straight with me here, is this another trap or is it an actual women. Not judging i just dont wanna waste anyone time because im not into traps.

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>>719699032
P-please. I've never burned water.

>>719699063
P-probably 5PM EST

>>719699254
I usually buy locally b-but today I w-was in a bit of a coma for most of t-the day.

M-my apologies, Anonymous.

>>719699306
I'm n-not.

>>719697221
Marms

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>>719699376
Alice is a woman.

>>719696718
What flag is that near the door?

>>719694282
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>>719697760
>>719697863
>>719698079
>>719698368
>>719698659
I mean, as far as attention seeking goes, at least you've got a gimmick. And you're contributing. A+

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>>719699368
I d-dress like a woman because I am one.

>>719699370
P-please, check me on p-patreon if you w-want something like that. "alicemargatroid"

>>719699376
I'm a w-woman, and c-clearly you are into traps if y-you feel the need to question y-your choices so often.

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>>719694282
Thank you for the wonderful thread. Until next time.

>>719699387
Added on skype <3

Cooking skills is love.. is life <3

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>>719699492
It is m-my apron.

>>719699526
L-let me accept you.

>>719699506
*smiles softly*

>>719699498
>I'm a w-woman, and c-clearly you are into traps if y-you feel the need to question y-your choices so often.
If I get off I dont care, I wana blow my load all over your frilly little dress

>>719699387
No you're a faggot in heat, you fucking sick!!!

>>719695553
>fucked up pouring tea
would not wife/10

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>>719699678
Nano is t-the one in heat, she w-won't let her giraffe alone!

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>>719699498
FOR GOD'S SAKE WOMAN, THE FRIDGE, PLEASE!

>>719699387
I know you're a liar because you always have a quick answer for everything. You try to diffuse the lies by acting cute or playing the burn victim card. I've met many people like you, and I used to be fooled every time because I'm so naive, but now I've learned the signs.
How to spot a liar? Their answers only bring up more questions.
She got moldy cheese because it was delivered, it was delivered because she was on painkillers, she was on painkllers because her teeth were fucked up, why were her teeth fucked up? I guess it's just the mystery of the universe.
Grow up, you live an isolated disgusting life and the consequences have already made themselves known. Either change or die.

>>719699498

You don't dress like a woman you dress like a mentally ill trap

Nailing your audience though good luck with the patreon

>>719699652
Oh, my bad. What's the apron say on it then?

>>719695553

get a new table,that shit was shaking like it had parkinsons disease

>>719699768
Really, just tell me what is the point when you cook in a fucking dress?
A girl dress, when you are a guy??

>>719699498
5k...
Goodluck with that

>>719699652
>alicemargatroid
5k to see the true face of alice huh.
Okay, one day.

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>>719699820
M-my teeth were fucked up because genetics; this w-was known....days? in advance, and I m-mentioned it several times.

*sighs* Call me a liar if you will, I don't mind. But my question is this: how do you get "isolated" and "disgusting" from any of that?

>>719699888
As s-someone well versed in mental health, I'm p-pretty sure maid outfit is not stereotypical for any illness in the DSM or ICD.

>>719699969
I'm a g-girl.

>>719699991
>>719700033
Welcome t-to the joke!

>>719699969
pretty sure she told you like 5 times.

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>>719699820
>This textwall
You need help anonymous.

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>>719698659

I'll take your word on it. Good night, looking forward an other of your threads

>>719699820
>I don't like things that go against my train of thought
wew lad

>>719700081
You're a guy, a fucking faggot i mean.

>>719699370
>>719699498

Really Alice, $5,000 to see your face is no laughing matter. I will see who is behind the paper

>>719698079
What state does op live in?

>>719694792
he *

>>719700213
Don't forget to share

>>719700213

Pay for me i'm broke

>>719700280
denial

>>719694282
I've lost control of my life

>>719700280
nyc?
I'm not from usa i don't know if that's an state

>>719700081
>disgusting
I've seen your house, you put a camera in it for me. It's not the worst I've seen if that makes you feel better, but that stove is gross and I just know that dog pisses everywhere
>isolated
You live in new york, get food delivered to your house, and you use said food to do a cooking thread on the asshole of the internet. Sorry if I don't believe that you close the thread and go see a movie with a bunch of friends.

Does it matter if he/she is a guy? Like not like you are going to fuck her

>>719699498
Ok im out of here. You guys have fun and shit.

>>719700385
new york city

>>719700081
If you're a girl, then why do you look like a guy in a dress?

>>719700385

i fucking hate you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9NEXPoepO4&t=6s

real cooking

>>719696551
Where did your gloves go?

Alice, you are a very cute trap, why don't you just accept it? you would be 10 times more likeable

>>719700213
Y-you may wish to read the entry better.

>>719700280
I l-live in New York City.

>>719700183
I'm n-not. And we've r-reached image cap.

>>719700506
WHy? LMAO

>>719700471

>i was just about to hang out with my friends
>right after i lurk this trap thread

yeah... doubtful

>>719694282
I liked it better when you gave advice. But you are weird, and I really like that.

Can someone please explain to me what this weird shit is? No one has expressed any surprise at how fucking weird it is that some dude is in a maid output posting cooking webms.

>>719700697
You must be new here

>>719700697
Do you know where you are?

I have a picture of OP's face, but we've reached the image limit.

Oh well. :/

>>719700588
You have a men arms, this is gross!!!

>>719700794
Totally not a bait

>>719700697
Lurk moar. Fetishes like these are common here.

Does op have a YouTube channel?

Alice, whether or not you are a girl,you have enchanted me with your textual purity and I love you. With all my heart I love you

>>719700794
Make a new thread if so, but it's prolly fake

>>719700471
>dog pisses everywhere

S-she is one pound; she pees in the kitchen maybe once a w-week. As f-for my apartment, I've n-not cleaned up due to, you know, being in bed sleeping all d-day.

I l-live and work in Manhattan, and while I w-will be going to sleep after this thread, t-tomorrow I will certainly be up and about w-with friends.

Sorry if you want to make assumptions about someone posting on the asshole of the internet, but we're not all bad you know.

>>719700503
S-same reason you look like an asshole on the internet.

>>719700543
B-because my vagina disagrees with y-you.

>>719700646
I g-give advice every damn day dear.

>>719700697
Not a dude.

>>719700794
No y-you don't.

>>719700884
No, m-my home is /b/

>>719699387
Thanks for the uploads. It was entertaining to see something that's not cancer on the site.

>>719700626
because you're a synth