[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | | Home]

*gotes tactically*

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 235
Thread images: 151

File: Tactical corset.jpg (993KB, 2478x3488px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Tactical corset.jpg
993KB, 2478x3488px
*gotes tactically*
gay niggers from outer space
File: 138347659724.png (50KB, 540x600px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
50KB, 540x600px

Judge me harder.
Especially for my bad eating habits.
oh shit fiction is on since he's been too inactive to get floated

he's gonna fuck this poor kid up fiction is amazing
File: 1484942193446.jpg (621KB, 1032x1438px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
621KB, 1032x1438px
are better than fucking furfags
No, but she did eventually bring me freshly made cinnamon toast.
tfw no lando calrissian bf

I can't judge you for that since you're skinnier than me.

that's close enough
File: 0085-1405397078352.jpg (274KB, 443x772px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
274KB, 443x772px
>tactical corset
where's the tactical stockings?!
they're right there

with the garters?
File: 1339873455.jpg (197KB, 550x890px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
197KB, 550x890px
Probably not when I've had enough food, especially salty food that increases water retention.
File: 1477860241714.png (150KB, 500x493px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
150KB, 500x493px
File: 3.png (39KB, 107x147px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
39KB, 107x147px
you are probably less skinny than me in the rare moments when I haven't eaten all day and you've just gorged on pizza

File: 0003-1400964115802.png (297KB, 765x800px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
297KB, 765x800px
that's a leg strap. the stockings and panties aren't tacticool enough!
File: 1475423689920.png (584KB, 1280x972px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
584KB, 1280x972px
You can't nerf me
it's hard to make stockings all that much more tactical. They're probably ventilated or something.

The fuck op
why am i..
File: 1339873458.png (559KB, 500x872px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
559KB, 500x872px
No, you could even have eaten; it wouldn't matter.
It's seriously bad. I am infinite at times.
Or maybe it's good if I'm interested in any sort of competitive eating.
File: 1475295227846.png (160KB, 500x500px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
160KB, 500x500px
The one and only
asriel is oper8ing, but also he might need to ride a dick later

I mean that happens to me sometimes too.

Shit the humans are making porn I'm getting out
embrace it. it is your. destiny.
this is the single ugliest gote picture on the internet
File: 1475311517330.jpg (66KB, 907x605px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
66KB, 907x605px
Whose scruffy looking?
File: 1338734955.gif (1MB, 358x285px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1MB, 358x285px
Happens to me like every other day since I'm fucking awful.
Fuck this I'm out now
File: Kamon00139.png (194KB, 434x355px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
194KB, 434x355px
The lack of breasts is a great example. In most of the pics I've seen with his arms exposed, especially upper arms, the thickness at a glance is very much more aligned with how a guys arm would be as opposed to a girls. The snout and face feel overall more masculine than feminine (there's a drawing I used to have of the same pony drawn as both a male and a female, and the softer edges to the face gave a very distinct impression of gender in the female version.) The clothes is a weaker argument, but also does give off a very male vibe.

Not really a terribly hard thing to do.
File: gaggedgrimace.png (36KB, 143x110px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
36KB, 143x110px
im so glad you responded correctly
the meme is complete now

you honestly do have the strangest eating habits of all time. I can't eat the ways you do, like the thought of it repulses me automatically.
File: 1435156173578.jpg (216KB, 920x1300px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
216KB, 920x1300px
File: 133873498453.png (178KB, 500x1023px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
178KB, 500x1023px
It's pretty hard when you're pathetic.
I kinda nullify any of the good habits.
Eating like shit right now.
I am only convinced by the breasts, is the thing. The arms are variably thick and slim depending because the artist's style isn't entirely consistent, and at any rate I have known more than a few girls with thicker upper arms than would be proportional to the rest of them. Also, dog faces are not innately masculine or feminine. It's a dog's face.

The clothes are irrelevant since white dog is supposedly genderfluid or whatever the retardation of tumblr says it is.

you could stop doing that
File: 13389347985.png (513KB, 800x877px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
513KB, 800x877px
I've tried many times.
Just not strong enough to stick to it.
Oh I thought you meant RIGHT now.
File: 7346772467272474.png (245KB, 1280x556px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
245KB, 1280x556px
Boiling hot butthole.
>peach puff is on
have you tried a meal plan? only buy and eat what you have on the plan?
File: sad_birb.jpg (12KB, 512x512px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
12KB, 512x512px
I did, I just thought you meant in general.
Well, I'm almost done, so it doesn't matter.
File: 1441925587961.png (214KB, 602x845px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
214KB, 602x845px
File: downcast.png (58KB, 158x213px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
58KB, 158x213px
what're you eating? I just had a tuna melt and sweet potato fries.
File: Achacha.jpg (180KB, 600x586px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
180KB, 600x586px
File: Kamon00076.png (147KB, 321x304px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
147KB, 321x304px
I dunno, I've seen some pretty pathetic people that aren't consistently intoxicated.

Referring back to a previous point I made, I would be completely on board with the "it's a dog's face" if it were just a dog and not an anthropomorphic dog. I wish I could find the picture I'm referring to so I could better get my point across.
File: catcoat.png (62KB, 165x234px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
62KB, 165x234px
It doesn't have very many human facial features. It just has big anime eyes. The rest is all entirely stylized dog.
File: 84535362.png (317KB, 524x820px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
317KB, 524x820px
Military Grade Anal Lube
File: 1338744953.jpg (136KB, 700x475px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
136KB, 700x475px
I have a dining hall meal plan, does that count?
I could eat healthy at the dining hall, but the cravings get me. I have plenty of money, so I just go out whenever I want.
To be fair, I'm not constantly intoxicated.
I've recently turned 21 so I'm uncertain as to what the future will hold. The food problems have been going on for a while, so I wouldn't be very surprised if it extended to encompass alcohol as well.
More of a local specialty that I always have.
File: ewmoney.png (68KB, 130x284px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
68KB, 130x284px
oh those nugget thingies
File: 1457143830041.png (486KB, 644x900px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
486KB, 644x900px
ah, cringe came.

ffs roleplaying is like the second most autistic thing you can do
File: 133643875499.png (191KB, 800x800px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
191KB, 800x800px
It definitely bothers me that saying the whole name of the food would provide an easy way for anyone to find out where I live.
File: Kamon00140.png (116KB, 302x274px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
116KB, 302x274px
If I ever find this picture I'm talking about, I'll let you know. I'm pretty terrible at trying to get this particular point across.
I guess a good point of reference would be to see if this tumblrfag has female characters drawn as well.

That's not a magical number. You could be 18 and think that. You could be my age and think it, you could think that into your 40s. No one is ever certain about what the future has in store for them, if anything at all. Doesn't mean you need to constantly think about that and not carry on with your life.
what's first?

conveniently for you, I can't remember what they're actually called or I would've just outed you.

Right, the artist's style as a whole is more important. I know what you're talking about, incidentally, I'm just not sure it applies here.
File: 1433687976547.jpg (328KB, 1079x800px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
328KB, 1079x800px
File: Kamon00143.png (226KB, 518x418px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
226KB, 518x418px
Very well might not. In any case, white dog will probably forever be male to me. This genderfluid/neutral/queer/airbased/tempconditional bullshit is getting ridiculous.
File: 1484870214046.jpg (130KB, 1280x960px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
130KB, 1280x960px
suddenly want deer
File: flinch.png (74KB, 178x271px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
74KB, 178x271px
anyone who claims to be something other than male or female without a biological intersex condition should be dragged out and shot
File: 133987568933.png (1MB, 1000x1020px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1MB, 1000x1020px
I was just referring to the fact that I can now legally buy alcohol, so since it's no longer limited to whatever rationed bits of booze I can get from friends, I can't say what I'll do. My self control isn't the best.
Thank you very much for having a bad memory on random things.
I mean I doubt many people would bother to look it up, but still.
File: feeding.png (89KB, 211x251px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
89KB, 211x251px
I'm glad you like my awful memory. Just for you, I'm going to get shitfaced tonight and make it worse.
File: Litten.full.1999836.jpg (423KB, 1000x1000px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
423KB, 1000x1000px
Anyone who claims to have a feminine penis must have it cut off.
stupid pretty boys
File: devils.png (83KB, 237x227px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
83KB, 237x227px
but feminine penises are CUTE
File: 1450856442166.jpg (984KB, 999x1194px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
984KB, 999x1194px
Have a Deer n' a beer.
File: 13374826739.jpg (61KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
61KB, 1280x720px
To be fair, you were going to do that anyway.
I like my men to be men.
Its not gay if its fem penis.
Yeah but now it's DEDICATED to you.

That's just because you're a bottom bitch with a feminine penis.
File: Kamon00141.png (184KB, 270x463px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
184KB, 270x463px
Hear, hear.

I can see how that might be an issue for someone with horrible self control. Can't help ya there I suppose.
>when a professor who scheduled an appointment with you sends a fucking tilde
jesus christ why
>*Wink wink* little boy, come to my "appointment" alone.
File: m_1459673304527.png (322KB, 650x650px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
322KB, 650x650px
>Trump inauguration
>Gabe the dog passes away
Truly a terrible day...
File: 1338734598891.gif (286KB, 500x281px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
286KB, 500x281px
My penis is just all around pretty normal.
As long as I get drunk and nearly sick on a form of alcohol, I'm very likely to not have it again.
So I just need to get very drunk from most types of alcohol.
very good
As a falco main, this is glorious

your penis is an adorable girlcock

as a fox main I like it too
File: 50053289_p0.png (9KB, 400x450px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
9KB, 400x450px
File: 13398374958923.gif (686KB, 500x281px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
686KB, 500x281px
You main gay niggers you slut.
Time to cut it off, then.
no, wrong. but that toy you bought is appropriate for it.
Do like me sum deer boys.
File: Kamon00100.png (314KB, 397x440px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
314KB, 397x440px
That just about sounds like the most faulty logic I have ever heard. I would counter argue, but I think you actually want to get alcohol poisoning.
Shes going to get your dunk and hop on your dick. Shes probably old, single, used up and wants kids and you're her last ticket.
Hope you're prepared to be a father.
who doesn't
of course you have an appropriate image for this fantasy

File: 3264263456742.jpg (252KB, 600x900px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
252KB, 600x900px
Dirty brown people.
File: 133983457982.jpg (41KB, 800x450px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
41KB, 800x450px
It's just how things should be.
It only took about 10 standard drinks to get me nearly sick last weekend.
My friend does like 20 shots for fun, so I can't be that bad.
fuck combo broken

no penectomies allowed, cait
also it only took me like 6 drinks to actually throw up last weekend fug
its always his fault
File: 43564353252.jpg (248KB, 500x750px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
248KB, 500x750px
Human fantasy is an amusing thing. I do enjoy the murder-rape ones the best.
over the wall with him

I fantasize about stopping you from committing a murderrape, turning you to the light side of the force and then having tender affectionate sex with you
File: 1338934958982.gif (234KB, 500x281px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
234KB, 500x281px
You should get a penectomy you slut.
I'm glad I've never thrown up from alcohol.
File: Kamon00053.png (299KB, 720x480px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
299KB, 720x480px
Hey, if you want to ruin your liver and life expectancy, by all means go for it.
but y tho
but I like having my penis. And it's not like I'd replace it with a faux-vagina like trannies get, those things are gross and I already have a perfectly serviceable boypussy.

I've done it twice in my life now
File: 1465166499637.jpg (73KB, 630x770px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
73KB, 630x770px
we must use him for labor
>falco strikes peach to dl
File: Whatever.jpg (217KB, 800x905px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
217KB, 800x905px
There's no stomping faces anywhere in that.
no, nibbles, that's BAD. stomping faces is BAD.
File: 1339837498523.gif (916KB, 500x281px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
916KB, 500x281px
Living till your 90's isn't something to aspire to, in my opinion.
Boypussy isn't a real thing.
Don't be an alcoholic.
>Boypussy isn't a real thing.
what? Yes it is. it's right there.

I literally drink less than you do.
Because they're yukky, duhh.
File: 13389347985891293.jpg (79KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
79KB, 1280x720px
The only kind of boypussy I know is what I've been posting.
Wow, LITRALLY? You appear to be intoxicated more than me, though.
File: disoriented.png (39KB, 130x134px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
39KB, 130x134px
that's a boy pussy with a boypussy

and that's because I have no tolerance.
File: Kamon00080.png (212KB, 453x336px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
212KB, 453x336px
Well, that's your outlook on life, then. Hope you've got deep pockets to sustain your alcohol dependency further down the road
File: 133749374592.jpg (76KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
76KB, 1280x720px
Not cats please.
I have no tolerance for your drunkenness.
Should be fine. I'm good now, and I should get a decent job with my CS degree, probably.
Well it HAS one.

also stop being a bigot
Oh good, someone good.
I dont care what you say, I like stomping faces REEEEEEEEEEEE
>winning the set off a stitchface and taunting

jesus /r9k/ chill
File: 1338739489823.jpg (134KB, 679x673px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
134KB, 679x673px
No. Impossible.
I'm incurable. You still have hope.
You fucks are still alive?
>22 minutes of battery life remaining
>21 minutes of office hours left
race to the finish

I don't know why you think I have more hope than you.
you're still alive?
there must be purpose here since most of us keep waking up
oh jeez it's this guy
Kind of, yeah.

Too cool to quote posts?
I always look at that board and thing /rk9/ the pokemon, I probably have dyslexia.
nah, just furfaggotry
arcanine a cute
File: Fry 02303.png (116KB, 281x249px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Fry 02303.png
116KB, 281x249px
while you were gone i became so fucking cool

i dunno if i can even be seen talking to you right now
File: 1338734958244.png (993KB, 900x688px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
993KB, 900x688px
What even is Nibi.

Because I'm very aware of my own faults and blunders and I can't see your mistakes and situation as clearly as my own?
File: 1427606354972.png (803KB, 954x850px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
803KB, 954x850px
File: 1475797397277.jpg (172KB, 1280x836px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
172KB, 1280x836px
that sounds literally correct
File: rd24txJ.jpg (334KB, 1100x2160px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
334KB, 1100x2160px
i'm good?
since when
While I was gone you probably became an adult too, in the legal sense.
It's been a while.

I jumped on /b/ to see what shitstains are posting about Dolan Chompsky and find you guys instead.


Any of you still have contact with HAL? I'm pretty sure he has my old avatar folder.
File: 133638459243.png (242KB, 714x800px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
242KB, 714x800px
Tell me all about how pathetic you are.
File: 458681.jpg (36KB, 640x480px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
36KB, 640x480px
that also happened

i havent heard from Hal in many years
I only have friends because of a video game that I'm not even good at and I spend most of my free time fantasizing about cocks and star wars.
File: 0 (13).png (115KB, 600x450px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
0 (13).png
115KB, 600x450px
Pretty sure he got eaten by sharks
File: m_1427358401243.png (370KB, 525x1234px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
370KB, 525x1234px
Since Subby's not drunk yet and I'm sad that Gabe the dog died.
File: 13379345823.png (67KB, 287x452px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
67KB, 287x452px
I don't have any friends at all except for my fucking roommate.
I think my deal with thinking about food is definitely worse than cocks.
Oh shit, is this a contest now?
File: disgusted.png (77KB, 158x250px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
77KB, 158x250px
it can be if you want.
File: 1338734798524.png (170KB, 352x497px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
170KB, 352x497px
Beer is a pretty chill way to drink.
I never realized in all my Jim Beam filled days.
Still don't like the carbonation though.
Shit. Oh well. I probably wouldn't be around long enough to use it. I have my own shit to deal with.

How's you, kid? Move on to Uni or did you drop out to fap in your parents house for the forseeable future?

Is that fucking Nef?
What's up, Drongo?
I like beer, a lot, but it makes me so fucking sick after I drink it.

>not going to university AND jerking off in your parents house
git gud
File: Fry 00211.jpg (55KB, 588x362px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Fry 00211.jpg
55KB, 588x362px
there's nothing to come back to here anyway, i wouldnt bother

im in my dorm right now
just signed up to work on a film shoot for two weekends and been editing vidya for a radio station

and also fapping
File: 0 (192).jpg (488KB, 1200x900px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
0 (192).jpg
488KB, 1200x900px
Not much mate

Got a second kid, moved house, crippled self.
wait, has drunky been gone long enough that he wouldn't have known about your second kid
drunky hasnt been here for at least 3 years
jesus h. christ I'm so old
File: 133873497582.png (330KB, 783x800px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
330KB, 783x800px
I finally looked at the price of the 40's today and damn man, that's some cheap shit.
Two fucking dollars.
Most definitely. I had been around for a while when she was born, and I haven't seen drunky since I first started posting.
for an entire 40? seriously? goddamn

time is gay
That made me audibly laugh really hard for some reason.
There's you, you stud.

Congrats mate. You're more involved than I was my first year, that's for sure. I spent my time getting drunk and fucking landwhales. Rise above. Focus on science.

Wasn't aware you had a first. My own first is due in July. Grats on the second.
I too, just moved house. Hopefully I don't have to do that shit for another ten years.

Crippled? Ebabolorate.

probably not
File: 13343587871783.png (102KB, 432x400px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
102KB, 432x400px
Some brands were 3 bucks, but the ones on the bottom shelf were two bucks.
My dignity somehow held me back and I got more good beer.
Anyway im out stay cute~~~~
File: Fry 02290.png (140KB, 157x416px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Fry 02290.png
140KB, 157x416px
i'm not nearly enough to make it worth your while

so far ive done neither of those
Better beer = mild hangover

Not to mention superior taste

I don't even like getting drunk anymore, just like having a couple brews and getting a decent buzz on occasionally. Getting stoned is way better for most situations.
File: 0 (4).png (167KB, 450x600px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
0 (4).png
167KB, 450x600px
>Wasn't aware you had a first
Wait really? Samjam is like 10 years old.

>My own first is due in July
gratz man

Spinal damage. Mostly healed now, left leg looks like it's going to be slightly numb forever though
File: 1339834759824.png (571KB, 900x860px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
571KB, 900x860px
Stay drunk.

I can just appreciate a good deal.
Never done weed and probably never will.
File: 3453746346.jpg (161KB, 1890x1417px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
161KB, 1890x1417px
>Get beer
>Do this later
File: 1484412791783.png (288KB, 640x800px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
288KB, 640x800px
oh, that's a little specific for what makes me "good". speaking of drunk i'm gonna finish my booze off tonight too
gabe the dog? like the meme one?
I still intend to drag your ass to an ELO show when they hit the U.S. again. Don't think I've forgotten. We were friends, Eisen.

>Samjam is like 10 years old
We never really talked about your personal life. Mostly bullshit about alcohol and the shitty club scene in Sydney and Melbourne. Also cats.

>gratz man
Cheers. Do you have any idea how fucking scared I am that I'm about to be responsible for what is essentially a little me? I still shiver thinking about it, and I've known for a month.

>Spinal damage
What the fuck were you doing? I'm glad you're feeling better, but ... what the fuck were you doing?
do me later
File: 1407876526771.jpg (384KB, 850x1100px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
384KB, 850x1100px
Goddamn, I feel just about ready to murder someone. Why do children have to exist?
File: m_1407461898761.jpg (284KB, 854x1280px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
284KB, 854x1280px
Yeah, the borking one.
File: Fry 01120.png (18KB, 639x511px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Fry 01120.png
18KB, 639x511px
you won't have to drag me

>We were friends
cause people like me can't keep our dicks to ourselves or be arsed to wrap them in rubber... or... lamb skin, or whatever the fuck they make those cock prisons out of.

It's not like I've been around enough to maintain healthy relationships.
It's not like the relationships were healthy when I WAS around.
Well they do have that lube aimed at the gay community called "gun oil" that comes in a bullet shaped bottle
File: 474773.jpg (52KB, 640x480px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
52KB, 640x480px
i considered our relationship perfectly normal
File: 52488877_p0.png (23KB, 500x500px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
23KB, 500x500px
>Do you have any idea how fucking scared I am
Yeah man, I know. I was 16 when I got a girl pregnant.

>What the fuck were you doing?
Appears to have stemmed from a misdiagnosed vehicle incident injury.
File: 1407871712400.jpg (136KB, 934x721px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
136KB, 934x721px
So do I have to murder you now?

I consider you perfectly normal.
My days of grade and middleschool made me realize how id probably murder kids given chance.
because they normally to grow into non-children at some point
how's it going

i have to say my favourite (and only seen) thing with them is
hey drunky you got a bitch preggy?
File: 1479020312923.png (524KB, 900x1200px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
524KB, 900x1200px
>grade and middleschool

File: 1407871601016.jpg (547KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
547KB, 1280x720px
My soul has left my mortal shell, but it's slowly creeping back to it now that the brat has gone to bed. How about you?

[spoiler]it wasn't a compliment[/spoiler]
And I considered my relationship with you friendly, despite it being flirtatious in nature and you were underage.
I don't consider that normal.

That's a little different. At least I have a form of self establishment to fall back on.
Can't imagine what you were going through.

So you... got into an accident, or drove your kangaroo into a rock or something, and they misdiagnosed it, and it became spinal damage?

I knocked up my wife, yes.
It was bound to happen, we fuck like monkeys that have unlimited access to Viagra, and we don't use protection. I'm just amazed it took this long.

I originally thought that if I were ever stuck in this situation, I'd become Coathanger Cave Explorerâ„¢, but I guess I'm stable enough to handle the idea of raising a kid.

The $500,000 USD price tag isn't looking so sweet though.
File: Fry 00055.jpg (42KB, 305x254px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Fry 00055.jpg
42KB, 305x254px
t-thats fine

i mean yeah, there is that
File: 0 (5).png (61KB, 500x450px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
0 (5).png
61KB, 500x450px
They thought it was just muscular. Gave me a few days off and sent me back at it.

It wasn't muscular, and it just never really healed
Regardless, I'm much less obtrusive, less drunk and you're no longer underage, so I guess we can have a normal relationship now.

Would you do me the favor? Preferably before my wife gets home.
File: Fry 02306.png (102KB, 246x247px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Fry 02306.png
102KB, 246x247px
that would be lovely

despite not being able to imagine a less drunk drunky
File: 1407871693886.jpg (96KB, 933x644px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
96KB, 933x644px
y-you're fine!

too big a risk considering the near-nothing payoff I get for it.
they really that much of a pain for you? not in general but the one you're talking about
eh, i could be better, today's not been a good day for me
Dude, that fucking bites.
I guess better your leg than your arm or something, and spinal damage could be a lot worse, but.. still. Shit.
Think the numbness will permanently affect you?
Are you going to become one with your sofa?

Well I'm not exactly a bachelor rebelling from his parents with suicidal tendencies anymore. I've calmed down a lot recently. I mean, I still drink, but not nearly to the extent I used to.
It's more like a couple of rum and cokes when I get home from work or class, not taking a water bottle full of vodka and sprite with me to Uni.

You get the satisfaction of ending my life and the justification to tattoo teardrops on your face like a mexican gangbanger!
File: 724973.jpg (49KB, 640x480px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
49KB, 640x480px
"a couple of rum and cokes" pretty much entirely describes my drinking history
File: 0 (111).jpg (330KB, 1000x1158px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
0 (111).jpg
330KB, 1000x1158px
Yeah. All it means is that it feels funny when I touch it, like I've been sitting down too long.

I also need to check it once a day or so to make sure I haven't cut myself or something. I might not know if I did and it could get infected. Basically gotta act like someone with diabeetus

Will be seeing a specialist next month to see what the future holds.
You should let loose more. Have you ever been genuinely intoxicated?

Dude... I'm sorry to hear that. I can't imagine living with permanent numbness. My legs fall asleep enough as is and I have trouble standing with the temporary problem.

Were you at work, or just driving, or what?
File: Fry 00160.jpg (83KB, 345x298px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Fry 00160.jpg
83KB, 345x298px
the first time i drank i drank an entire 40 and that bummed me out
File: 0 (95).png (466KB, 600x800px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
0 (95).png
466KB, 600x800px
Just driving.

The numbness isn't total or anything. It's more like when I touch my leg, it's like it's someone elses hand
File: 1407877731764.jpg (274KB, 1044x900px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
274KB, 1044x900px
I feel drained, exhausted and ready to fall asleep and just not wake up ever, so yes, he is that much of a pain. I was expecting to have a relaxing weekend of lazing about in my own company for the first time in a few weeks, but apparently my mom and sis had a different fate planned for me.

If I'm gonna get any kind of tattoos, they're preferably gonna be russian prison tats.
did they just drop him on you out of nowhere?
File: 1407872376929.jpg (85KB, 1023x681px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
85KB, 1023x681px

I'm glad I don't have to tolerate him 24/7, but it's close enough to that to make me remove myself.
File: 1483905999610.jpg (190KB, 980x812px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
190KB, 980x812px
you couldn't just tell them (assuming you didn't) you wanted some time on your own?
so whos the brat? your younger brother? son?
>Cheap beer
Well there's your problem.

Damn. I was terrified to drive in Sydney when I was there, but I didn't see a single accident, despite everyone driving their cars like they're fucking go-karts or something.
So like your leg is asleep.
Too bad it wasn't your right arm.
Joking aside, does it fuck with your ability to walk?

Because you'll have been in Russian prison, or because you feel the need to express your creative tendencies with another culture for fear your own isn't unique enough?

also; when he wakes back up, give the kid like, a quarter cup of nyquil and mix it with his juice.
Is it ethical? Probably not.
Will it slow his ass down? For sure.
File: Fry 01640.png (95KB, 360x236px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Fry 01640.png
95KB, 360x236px
other than that i really just smoke

even that i'm not really big on anymore though
File: 0 (1410).jpg (262KB, 600x600px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
0 (1410).jpg
262KB, 600x600px
>Joking aside, does it fuck with your ability to walk?
No, it doesn't cause me any problems. Lower back is still not great though so I gotta be careful. No lifting, bouncing. Taking care at work
Tobacco, Pot or Amphetamines?


What do you do again? I want to say you're a casino dealer.
File: 123789.jpg (56KB, 640x480px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
56KB, 640x480px
>no lifting or bouncing
poor wench
This ELO show is going to be a lot of fun.

File: 0 (125).png (454KB, 727x720px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
0 (125).png
454KB, 727x720px
That is correct.

I have also started going back to school. Accounting

Don't worry, we find ways
File: 52685.jpg (60KB, 640x480px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
60KB, 640x480px
excited already
Also that was my favorite line in the show.

>"Where is the device that speeds and slows the passage of time?"
>"Under the seat."
File: 518150.jpg (56KB, 640x480px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
56KB, 640x480px
probably the greatest episode of the series
post wife
also what do you do for a living?
File: 58769170_p0.png (873KB, 1000x1000px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
873KB, 1000x1000px
I'm sure you have a large playbook.
File: 61024032_p8.jpg (541KB, 1000x800px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
541KB, 1000x800px
The Nefel Sutra
Score one for Drunky's terrible memory.
I guess if there's any field to go into with your line of work. I assume you'll transfer to banking or something?

Shame they're only doing GB this year.

Nah, the interdimensional box one, by far. So many good lines in that episode.

"Satan! You owe me!"
"So I did what I always do in those situations.", "Oh lord."
"I got beat up at a Neil Diamond concert by a guy NAMED scrunchie!"

I wont upload her face, but I have plenty of nudes. Blanking out her tattoos just incase any of you sleuthy pricks decide to go on a hunt.
Give me a few minutes, they're on my old phone.
Currently bartending again, as my small business crashed after the E-Cig craze of 2015 died. Back in school for yet another associates degree. This will make two complete, and one half. (First, Law, Second, Computer Science [half finished]. Going back for Secondary Education. This semester I'll have enough credits to start student teaching and working on my Teaching Cert. I figure with the money and equity I put away and currently have, the wife working full time until the kid comes along, and the current cost of living in Arizona, I can get away with a teachers salary. Plus, it's something I always wanted to do but never thought would be a realistic option in this economy. Thank god for Arizona deciding to treat their educators a little better. This year, the minimum salary for high school teachers is jumping from 35,600 to 48,800.
After three or four years of teaching high school, I'll have finished my masters in English and I can move on to teaching Uni (Which is in dire need here,) pick up tenure, full benefits, a cushy 75K a year position, and just coast that out while I do what I actually wanted to do; write.
File: boned.png (1MB, 914x1280px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1MB, 914x1280px
File: 1407934424892.jpg (83KB, 1280x960px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
83KB, 1280x960px
I arrived home, as soon as I walked in, I was told he was coming over. I tried to tell him once I arrived that I'd like some alone time to relax, he didn't grasp the concept, but instead kept pestering me to play games with him he didn't understand in the least.


Finland doesn't really have much of a tattoo culture. Closest to our own would be Russian tats.

1. I have no idea what that is.
2. I probably don't have any lying around.
3. I'd get my kneecaps crushed by my brother-in-law with a sledgehammer.
File: Fry 00147.jpg (92KB, 387x450px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Fry 00147.jpg
92KB, 387x450px
if they come to lansing you can crash in my dormq
Once I can. Job has become a bit of a dead end, since they did "restructuring"
File: 59389769_p3.jpg (125KB, 640x480px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
125KB, 640x480px
Where can I buy it?
File: 59273674_p0.jpg (133KB, 768x768px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
133KB, 768x768px
It is available at all good book retailers, in the self-help section
Wife and I will probably just get a hotel or something, but if we're dead broke at the end of the trip, we'll take you up on that.

That.. bites. So you can't advance any further than you have already?

It's drowsy cold medicine.
File: m_1403900108299.jpg (1MB, 1200x927px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1MB, 1200x927px
File: 59713542_p4.png (754KB, 1094x1239px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
754KB, 1094x1239px
Where do I apply for my internship?
File: 0 (9).jpg (78KB, 480x600px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
0 (9).jpg
78KB, 480x600px
Basically yeah

They made a full half of the staff in the two tiers above me redundant

There hasn't been a promotion in over two years
That sucks. At least most dealers get tipped well. Is that the case for you? Or are you stuck with shit hourly and tipshare?
File: 0 (140).png (165KB, 589x589px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
0 (140).png
165KB, 589x589px
Send your resume to [email protected]

No tips but good wages.
How do you not get tipped as a dealer?! That's a downright travesty.
File: 0 (49).jpg (227KB, 1000x869px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
0 (49).jpg
227KB, 1000x869px
American dealers get like, $6 + tips

I get $27 + bonus on weekends.
File: zF4yJMW.jpg (293KB, 1014x1200px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
293KB, 1014x1200px
hmm.. that's pretty shitty to come home to. kids are like that, yeah, they just don't know or have developed enough brains to grasp what you mean. at least they're not being that big of a pain right now, right?

nyquil is just cold medicine that makes you drowsy, works really well for settling kids before bed if you use a bit.
File: 1407887723032.jpg (339KB, 1280x1024px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
339KB, 1280x1024px

yeah, now I've got some small measure of peace.

Okay that's pretty fair.

Granted I don't know which city you live in or the cost of living, but relatively, that's fair.
File: 48783800_p0.jpg (244KB, 1149x1645px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
244KB, 1149x1645px
Cost of living is fairly high, but for an entry level position it's still pretty huge
File: 1445726792530.jpg (50KB, 1000x1000px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
50KB, 1000x1000px
File: 218 - 8Ro3FUt.jpg (139KB, 800x799px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
218 - 8Ro3FUt.jpg
139KB, 800x799px
won't you do me the favor, man

of a giving mind
hopefully it lasts long enough to not drive you to insanity. are they with you all weekend?
Thread posts: 235
Thread images: 151

[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.