She is his deepest innocence in spaces of bough and hay before wishes were given a separate name to warn that they might not come true, and his lithe Parisian daughter of joy, beneath the eternal mirror, forswearing perfumes, capeskin to the armpits, all that is too easy, for his impoverishment and more worthy love
>>718981320 People say "just adopt" like it's fucking 1950 and it's as easy as walking down to the corner store and buying your drivers license for 25 cents.
We've been trying to adopt for three fucking years, on private and public waiting lists. We've had to spend over $28,000 in legal and process fees etc. We've been there for the birth of three babies which the mother signed and agreed she was going to give up to us for adoption. I changed their first fucking diapers, and sang them their first bedtime songs. Then they changed their minds.
We both have good jobs, normal good looking people, nice house, not like we're trailer trash or anything, and still for one reason or another adoptions which were "a sure fire thing" have fallen through.
>>718981945 Fuck you with your arrogant entitlement. NOBODY can consent to existence. >Muh "We have jobs, look normal(however the fuck that is relevant) and have a house so we should be ENTITLED to fucking CREATE LIFE simply to fulfil our perceived emotional needs. Arrogant cunts, you deserve all the suffering you have been through and whatever else follows. Since you can't add, make like your own advice and subtract instead.
No idea... We meet with the mom after she has chosen us by our profile through various agencies, after meeting several times, she decides she likes us... couple months of back and forth and paperwork after she has already decided we are the ones. We're called when she is going in to labor and drive to hospital to be there for the birth of what everyone, including her, considers "our" baby.
Few hours to a few days later, mom decides to keep the baby. In Canada, she has up to 21 days to change her mind, even if the baby has come home with us.
From what I have been told, this is not uncommon at all. But fucking hell it is painful.
>>718983598 Where do you think we are, you dense fuck? This isn't the debate society at Harvard, it's a Goddamn shitposting thread. The pedestal you're on is made of the same shit your father fired into your mother, and God it reeks of insecurity.
>>718983294 But you’re not considering adopting someone who’s not a newborn?
Are none of those kids (who are reasonably healthy) available?
(I can understand not wanting to adopt kids with severe disabilities, because raising them is fucking hard. I honestly don't know how people who don;t have that crazy hormonal bond parents have with their babies do it.)
But if you have your heart set on a newborn because you think that's like the best or most meaningful age or whatever, it may be time to re-think. My soon-to-be 4yo is way cooler than this dumb pooping machine a baby is. I would totally adopt a 4yo (without severe disabilities) in a heartbeat.
>>718984246 We've been trying for any kid up to 5 years old (it gets way more complicated, legally after that, until after 12 years old, then it gets way easier).
Problem is, Canadian law still lets the mom have takesies backsies for a long time. And if they're in that situation, being available for adoption at that age, it is almost exclusively because the parents are unfit and dealing with Childrens Aid (CAS). So they are by nature, crazy or addicts... so they try to get the kids back by attending the mandatory programs, getting a "pass" and then of course CAS wants the child to be with their biological parents so they get taken back... parents invariably revert to their old ways and kids are taken away again... whole cycle of bullshit.
There are lots of kids out there, but it is just unfortunately really hard to actually adopt them.
>>718983294 What about adopting children who are already orphaned? Or does it have to be a brand new, fresh out the womb baby for you? I hear ads on the radio about how there tons of children waiting to be adopted, I would assume that a portion of them would be infants. I could understand not wanting to adopt an older child or teenager for your first, but there has to be more, better options than setting tentative arrangements with a pregnant lady just to have your dream crushed repeatedly.
>>718984974 >We've been trying for any kid up to 5 years old (it gets way more complicated, legally after that, until after 12 years old, then it gets way easier). That first part seems weird. Why would it be harder to adopt a 6yo than a 5yo? (It's obvious why it gets easier once kids are teens.)
Yeah, but I don't know the Canadian system. Murrican here.
>>718984554 Well then tell me how that's wrong. You can't just hide behind the hollow populist status quo. Burden of proof lies on the pro child bearer side since it is something they are asserting: "the right to bear children." Or perhaps it is even shallower than that: "the right to not think about the ethical repercussions of creating life and just fucking breed away!" How ironically infantile.
>>718984505 >Never claimed to have the right, only the strong desire. >Nobody has consent to be born, that is how life works, your argument is nonsense/nonpoint. >Only issue is that I want a child, a woman has a perceived problem because she has an unwanted child, and she wants to give it up to a good home. We make a legal agreement to this effect. We believe and are made to believe that this child will become ours. That falls through and it is very emotionally difficult and taxing. That is all.
>>718984284 Oh, I bet you tipped your fedora with a smirk, took a sip of dew and casually stroked your feather light chin tufts before tossing your hat over to your Tromp branded, fake gold plated, hanger nailed to the back of your basement door.
While I will say there is nothing that points toward everyone having some right to bear a child, it doesnt make it any easier to find out you don't have that as an option. I have a number of friends that want nothing more than to kick back with a middle income and raise a kid and enjoy life.
If your only option becomes putting down some serious income that you otherwise wouldn't initially have to, but also have mountains of paperwork, biological parents who may or may not give a fuck about you and their progeny, then you find yourself in a shitty place before it even begins.
Some people want a Ferrari, some people want a fuckin kid.
Get over yourself and find something worthy of your neck sweat to piss and moan about.
>>718985579 Turns out an orphan is a rare thing in Canada. We are on the list for any child up to age 5, who comes up for adoption. That is called a 'public adoption' (children in care of the government).
It is understandable that CAS is slow to give out kids for permanent adoption... for sure if the parents can be rehabilitated it seems nice that they could end up with their biological family.
>>718985763 Once they're settled in to foster care and in school, it gets more complicated legally. I'm not super educated on why or how. That will be our next move if nothing happens in the next year.
>>718986420 The fact we have gotten to the level of cognition and society where we can know what "natural instinct" is negates it as a justification for our actions. Is that really all you are saying? I'm gonna breed because muh nature? You know you are capable of thinking further. You don't have to agree with me but you could do yourself and your unfortunate potential future offspring the curiosity of not being such a willing mindless retard about it.
>2006 >be me 18 >in a 4 year relationship with the love of my life >one day out of the blue she breaks up with me for seemingly no reason >spend 2 days trying to convince her not to leave >3 drunken and totally fried from acid pathetic weeks later, she calls to hang out >incredibly awkward afternoon with friends trying to cheer me up and her silent >everyone leaves just me and her >she gets up and says "Please have a good life" then leaves. >2 years later bout to join the military, get a phone call from her, not much said, "Please have a good life" then hangs up >1 year later on leave in the military at the local grocery store, she her, all she says is "Please have a good life" >the same goes on year after year with random meetings and messages "Please have a good life" pic related
>>718987502 Holy fuck, I bet you want everyone to fill out a 100 question form before they are allowed to think about having a child.
Society never developed under the notion that, sooner or later, we just don't have a kid unless you really, really, really, really, really want to think about it.
Some people want a family, that is a goal, just as you have your own goals, which I am going to surmise are fucking self serving because you seem to be rolling your special needs chair down that fucking path every time you post.
Put your fingers away and take a walk around your liberal arts college for some fresh air and look up, if you watch long enough, soon enough you realise that all the shit up there doesn't revolve around you.
The black ones seem to always have some family nearby, so they go live with grandma. On the outside it looks degenerate, but those grandmothers are so paternal they will spend their last penny to make sure those kids have a home with them. Child tax benefit is a nice paycheck as well for keeping them.
We almost had adopted an adorable Iranian 1 year old girl, but the deadbeat parents managed to get a family member (cool dude) immigrated so the kid went to them instead.
>>718987966 >It just is Literality a nothing sentiment backed up the nothing assertion that "I have experienced life" We are talking about creating another consciousness to experience all the ups and downs existence and to possibly even be faced with the same conundrums we are discussing right now and you assert that is is some how your RIGHT to not think about the ethical repercussions of this. Breeder entitlement truly is the worst entitlement.
>>718988838 Haha, yeah, it is a good problem to have I guess... I mean we have issues with native/inuit babies filling up the foster care system, but they are even harder to adopt just because they feel the need to keep them immersed in their culture or whatever, so they tend to not give them up for adoption so fast either.
Adopting from the US in to Canada is something I asked about, and apparently it is a whole other legal world of hurt to even consider. Brutal laws there!
>>718989188 I only know a person who works for a non-profit that handles adoptions in Pennsylvania. From what she says, they only care about what’s best for the kid and don’t have crazy rules that have noting to do with that.
E.g., they’ve been placing kids with gay/lesbian couples, unmarried couples and single parents for a long time, when other jurisdictions had big problems with that.
I dunno, perhaps it’s worse a shot to inquire with Penna. authorities? I have no idea how much the U.S. feds would be involved in an outbound cross-border adoption.
>>718989367 Its not even a view though, you are just putting up walls to stop feeling the need to have a view on the matter and instead skip straight to the want. And if nothing else does, your childish "I win" mentality surly proves you unfit to breed. >You seem to be under the misconception that we are arguing; that there is anything to argue. There isn't, and we aren't. >In the words of the almighty Megatron: Checkmate. What is it cus it can't be both?
As far as I know, cross-boarder adoption is very complicated for US and Canada, going either way, due to some seriously strict laws designed to inhibit child trafficking, which as I have learned, is a very real and prevalent thing.
I love my mom, she's amazing. My father cheated on her, made her work his business, made her raise us, had a mistress, pushed away her friends, got her pregnant at 19, refused to use protection and made 6 horrid kids (literally all my siblings are fucking self centered pussys.)
He beat us, verbally abused us, made us his slaves (beat us if we didnt do what he said) never defendedus from thosr who insulted/sought to harm us (mom was nearly killed one day while taking all 6 of us to the store. All aged 4-15.) Gets jealous of anything she says to a man.
Now that's he's older we've all had our dealings with him. Most just ran off and dont speak tohim or mom. I told him what a sack of shit he is, how je didn't raise me. He beat me until one day when i was twelve I hit him as hard as I could in his hernia while he was choking me (was routine).
He's become such fucking whiney pussy. He blubbers and plays victim, then tells all his friends how we're bad, we kicked him out (he refuses toleave and mom wont do anything) and is a.. fuckim so mad i cant finish that thought.
When I was 5 I routinely fantasized about killing him, torturing him burning him. From ages 7-13 every Christmas I asked Santa to have my parents divorce with mom getting full custody. I want a new dad, i want ssomeone that'll treat my mom right.
Make fun of me all you want guys. I just am so jealous of all of you that had a father. If I could choose, I'd rather have a childhood with a DECENT father at least rather than stacys, money, or power. I'm too scared to have kids as I don't wanna be him. Make fun all you want. Venting all this has been quite therapetuic.
>>718991072 If we weren't arguing you would have stopped replying like 5 posts ago. We've be doing the literal definition of arguing this entire thread, but you've been asserting the issue is a non argument as part of the hollow assertion that one does not need to justify objective or ethical reasons for breeding because: >Muh nature >Muh wants >Muh lived muh life You say it's over but I bet your still sitting there hitting f5 bitch.
Thanks guys. Our lease is up in April and we're moving out no maatter if he's already gone by then or not. He knows we all hate him. He knows why
I'm currently putting myself through college, but me as well as mom are getting 2nd jobs to help with rent when we move. Brother #5 (the only one im close to, but still despise) is moving in with his gg (fucking normie)
It feels like life isfinally looking in my favor for once. I've finally gotten over gf, mom has been talking to this great guy, brother #5 is no longer condescending due to his oneitis. Sure I am stuck at Community College for this year, but we have our plans and damned if we arent fulfillibg them
Dad is probs gonna move in with his brother or one of his weird friends.
His dad was the same way, yet my dad beat up his dad for treating his mom the way he treats mine. (Stupid Italian thinking because mom is American shes a doormat.)
All in all life will soon look better and I'll never havr to see "dad" again.
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