[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | | Home]

I'm a Forestry Technician. Ask me anything about trees.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 137
Thread images: 24

File: 1213311284194.jpg (700KB, 756x1008px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1213311284194.jpg
700KB, 756x1008px
I'm a Forestry Technician.

Ask me anything about trees.
>>
>>718679362
rob? is that you?
>>
>>718679408
No it's dan
>>
what is the technical term for drilling a hole in a tree, lubing it up, and fucking it?
>>
>>718679362
do you think she'd like my wood?
>>
>>718679481
dendrophilia
>>
>>718679362
how thick must be a branch to support the weigth of a 12yo girl?
>>
>>718679605
Not much. Especially if she's going to just slowly get onto it, instead of dropping from a high point and breaking her neck like she's supposed to do.
>>
>>718679362
Have you ever seen anything that surprised you and remains unexplained?
>>
>>718679703
I've seen some shit, but it was all explained.
>>
Have you hugged a tree today?

Have you decimated a forest instead?
>>
>>718679731
I have done neither.

But yes it's a two edged sword: trying to improve the ecosystem AND extract wood fiber from a stand.
>>
>>718679605
Not OP, but I saw a documentary a few days ago about suspending items from a tree in Georgia because shes an attention whore....held pretty good
>>
>>718679440
oh, well, shit.
>>
>>718679362
name of the girl pls?
>>
>>718679968
No idea. I've had that pic for at least 10 years.
>>
File: GundGrl.png (238KB, 500x500px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
GundGrl.png
238KB, 500x500px
>>718679362
Any good book recommendations for identifying North American trees? I don't even know what's in my yard.
>>
>>718680016
You'd have to get more specific in what area you're talking about, but my go-to handbook is called "Forest Plants of Central Ontario"
>>
Will you spit or swallow after you suck my dick?
>>
Here in North Florida, I am mass-planting native/common/wild persimmon trees which grow in the area, which, once they are a couple inches thick, I will begin grafting Fuyu and Jiro cultivars onto the nematode-resistant native rootstocks.
Just wanted to tell ya.
Trees are friends.
>>
>>718680016
Got any pictures? Maybe I can help.

Or just do a google search of "forest plants of x location"
>>
>>718679362
Which one of these is a larch?
>>
>>718680258
But why?
>>718680300
Assuming there is one in that picture, it's in the front and center.
>>
File: Fbun.gif (29KB, 500x500px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Fbun.gif
29KB, 500x500px
>>718680081
>>718680295
I'm in Wisconsin. The trees in the midwest I guess.
>>
>>718680358
Because non-astringent persimmons are my absolute favorite fruit from which syrups, sugars, wines, beers, preserves, and many other culinary derivatives of these products can be made. That and I bought a house on some acreage this year, and I would like to have an abundance of fruit on it.
>>
>>718680583
You are a dedicated man.
>>718680482
Yeah, sorry. I wouldn't know where to find those books except with some googling. I got all mine at the school I attended.
>>
>>718679362
how i get my bike back? treefag
>>
>>718680681
thats the giving tree, you just ask.
>>
>>718680681
You don't. Mother nature is greater than us all.
>>
>>718679362
any interesting fungi?
>>
>>718679362
Why can't I find that pic with any reverse image search?
>>
>>
>>718679362
is being a forestry technician as boring and gay as it sounds?

the fuck do you do? jizz on trees and cry out for mother earth all day?
>>
wtf how fast can a tree grow
>>
>>718679362
more pics of trees like this one
>>
>>718679729
Thank you for that answer--it's appreciated!
>>
i thinks sumthing going on in the world i missed... why all them bikes in trees?
>>
>>718680870
Found a perfect red amanita muscaria one time in Algonquin. It was all nestled all alone, framed by moss. It was a pretty sight.
>>718680906
Because I saved it at least 10 years ago.
>>718680971
It's really quite stimulating. I won't go into it all, but I've done tree marking and timber cruising.

You gotta use your mind and body all day long.
>>
>>718679362
What is the most effective parasitic creeper vine you have seen?
>>
>>718679362

What kind of / how much education do you need?

Do you like your job?
>>
>>718681025
not OP but that looks like that tree just wants to feel the wind in its branches
>>
>>718681126
>parasitic creeper vine
I don't really know what that is, but here in Ontario there's a lot of "wild grape vine" It can get more thna 6" thick and is quite invasive.
>>718681181
Just a 1 year condensed diploma program.

The job has it's ups and downs, but like I said earlier, it's very stimulating and never boring.
>>
>>718681116
take a picture of the tree in front of you rn Cananadian Forestry Technician (AKA tree humping liberal)
>>
File: michaela.jpg (22KB, 225x300px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
michaela.jpg
22KB, 225x300px
>>718681116
Well I found one more pic. Where did you saved it from? You probably have no idea right?
>>
File: images.jpg (9KB, 282x179px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
images.jpg
9KB, 282x179px
never mind got my bike back
>>
File: funguy.png (1MB, 896x672px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
funguy.png
1MB, 896x672px
>>718681116
>Found a perfect red amanita muscaria one time in Algonquin. It was all nestled all alone, framed by moss. It was a pretty sight.

awesome

help me ID this bad boy
>>
>>718681369

Where did you saved yours from?
>>
>>718679362
the romans thought that nymphs were living in trees
therefore any tree was feminine, which is the reason why they used feminine suffixes for trees only

my question is: is that true?
the part with the nymphs, obvs
>>
File: 1484067989198.jpg (25KB, 418x475px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1484067989198.jpg
25KB, 418x475px
>>718681289
>It can get more thna 6" thick and is quite invasive.

thats what she said
>>
>>718681314
It's a not infront of me (my monitor is) but when I look out the window it's all manitoba maple. Nasty fucking tree but it does provide shelter.

I have no camera and am living in a city.
>>718681369
Probably saved it from here
>>718681402
I recognize it, but it's not in my book and I can't remember the name.
>>
>>718681516
Never heard of that.
>>
>>718681553
>faggotry technichian
>no latin

why even bother
>>
File: michaela (1).jpg (731KB, 756x1008px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
michaela (1).jpg
731KB, 756x1008px
>>718681440
I don't know m8, but here is a larger version.
>>
>>718681516
Have you ever found a nymph in a tree?

Really?
>>
>>718681616
We skipped latin in the condensed program I was in (it was offered almost every other year that I wasn't there for) and I regret it.
>>
>>718681647

i have not
but i am not a technician, so fuck my opinion
>>
>>718681661

i just gave you a stepping stone
start from there and learn it

srsly
>>
>>718681630
That is the best looking tree I have ever seen.
>>
>>718681807
Meh. Today is not the day for learning.
>>
>>718679362

which tree is the best and why?
>>
>>718679362
If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is around to hear it does it make a sound?
>>
>>718681523
>im not outside
>i live in the city
>i have no phone
what the fuck kind of wasteful government spending is going on up there in the wasteland of Liberalstan?

You get a 1 year diploma and work in the city as a forest technician? the fuck lmao
>>
>>718681289
I guess a vine more like dodder vines. I don't think that those grow in ON though. Basically any vine that feeds off of or kills the plant that it is growing on.
>>
Anyone have any moar delicious forest nympfs
>>
>>718679362
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aekiMlGQDLY
>>
>>718681841
Right, love that tree!
But it looks underage.
@OP, what is an appropriate age to make love to a tree?
>>
>>718681951

you, my friend, are your worst enemy
not only are you content with what you have, but you are wasting your potential as if you had a lot of it
fucking google "i wanna learn latin" and by next week you'll be churning out latin like a pro

but noooo, you are too busy sucking dicks to do so
>>
>>718681961
Red oak (objective) or white pine (personal favorite)

Oak is obvious because of the grain. Looks sexy af. Also a pure oak stand is truely a sight to behold. Huge straight trees. Looks really nice when managed properly.

And white pine because it's the biggest tree in Ontario and is very recognizable. It also has some pretty cool wood to work with.

This is just Ontario, though. Red cedar is amazing to see, as well, in BC.

>>718681965
It's only considered a sound if there is someone there to translate vibrating air into a sound.
>>718681981
The government doesn't pay me
>>718682010
Yeah that would be the wild grape vine.
>>718682064
The more times you post that the less funny it gets.
>>718682162
I'll learn it eventually.
>>
>>718682258

do you really believe that?

the worst kind of liar is the kind who lies to himself
>>
>>718682350
What are you replying to? Quote it
>>
>>718679362
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
>>
>>718682527
None.
>>
>>718682397
the one about learning latin and being a fag
>>718682162
and you didn't object to faggotry technician

>>718681616

so that'll be your new job description
>>
>>718682258
who pays you then? if your a forest technician and canadastan doesnt federalize their forests/national parks who keeps them up?
>>
>>718682715

what if he works on private properties?
>>
>>718682609
wrong
http://www.news.cornell.edu/Chronicle/96/2.1.96/facts.html

You Sir are not an expert on anything
>>
>>718682639
>the one about learning latin and being a fag
dominus?
>>718682715
Private forestry companies.

Like 80% of the land is owned by the crown, but it's divided up into "stewardships", which are managed by smaller companies.
>>718682779
I happened to work at the biggest private woodlot in Canada
>>718682854
Shit you found me out.
>>
File: deep links.jpg (29KB, 544x508px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
deep links.jpg
29KB, 544x508px
>>718679362
New Updated 2017 Tor/Deepweb Links! Enjoy!
>>
>>718679362
do you think the trees cry and scream during and after you rape them?
>>
>>718683139
I don't think screaming would be the word, but yes I think trees can think more than we know.
>>
>>718683254

that'a actually bullshit

some guy once hooked up a polygraph to a plant
it produced gibberish, because it always does
but instead of concluding that polygraphs are unscientific pieces of shit he concluded that plants have emotions
>>
>>718683254
wtf are u doing on this boiard you leftist hippy retard ?
>>
>>718683726
Maybe I enjoy the idea that I'm torturing the woods.
>>
>>718683726
must be the retard part of him that wants to come here
>>
>>718679362
Hey op, how easy is it to get work after your schooling? Also I moved to a major metropolitan area for work, if I was to pursue being a technician would I be able to find easy work here or would I have to move back to the country?
>>
every time i come here i am dumbfounded by the new levels of stupid on this board

rip human kind, we had a good run
>>
>>718684039
It was pretty easy. I got my job with Toronto Conservation right away because of the diploma. I could still get the job otherwise, but they gave me the job right away and I ended up using my expertise more than I thought I would.

Right now it's a little bit difficult to find a propper forestry job, but there's a huge number of people retiring, so if you stay in it and get known (its a small community) you'll get a nice cushy job in a couple years.
>>718684049
I'm sorry, do you have a spicy pickle up your ass?
>>
>>718684352
>I'm sorry, do you have a spicy pickle up your ass?
if only
>>
File: 1484217113069.gif (2MB, 260x152px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1484217113069.gif
2MB, 260x152px
>>718679362
Do surveyors still mark line trees and if so, does it hurt the tree?
>>
>>718684352
Based fucking Op, I live in T.O. as well. Where would you suggest getting trained then?
>>
>>718679362
How heavy is the average tree?
>>
>>718684694
it depends on the region anon
>>
>>718684596
>mark line
What is this?
>>718684645
Algonquin College is where I went, but I think Flemming has a better program.
>>718684694
About 0.5 the mass of your mother
>>
>>718684780
A forester that did not study any surveying. I am not impressed with your lack of credentials OP.
>>
>>718684913
What the fuck does marking a line tree mean? Like do we mark lines? Obviously.
>>
>>718679362
Hey I cut trees in a shithole. How do you decide where to go cut timber? Do you do the cutting?

>>718684694
What's an average tree?
>>
>>718685058
No I don't do commercial cutting. Sometimes I'll have a job to cut dead trees along a trail, but that's about it.

It's up to the forester or steward where and when forestry needs to take place. I just go in and mark the boundaries and roads and what trees to be cut.

I also take inventories of various stands for the office to decide if it's time to harvest that area or not.
>>
>>718685217
What kind of forests do you have over there? What's the terrain like?
>>
>>718685321
Ontario is mostly second growth forests, very un managed with very few climax forests.

It has a history of hygrading, but it's a little better now.

Mostly a mix of deciduous and conifer trees, some plantations. The nice thing about them is the biodiversity. There's like 50 different tree species in Ontario, compared to like less than 10 in BC
>>
>>718679362
more?
>>
>>718685655
read the thread
>>
>>718685531
If I wanted to come over there to work in the logging industry, how should I proceed? I'm from eastern europe
>>
>>718685834
Go to algonquin college in the Ottawa valley. Frank Knappen has all kinds of connections.
>>
>>718679362

>trees
Why do they never come in ones or twos?
>>
>>718686042
Because most trees are total sluts.

Arborists do that, though.
>>
File: 1484236929937b.jpg (397KB, 756x1008px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1484236929937b.jpg
397KB, 756x1008px
I found them really fast. All set... just search better.
>>
>>718686182
proof or pizdabol
>>
>>718686020
I don't want to be a forester I'd like to get a job in cutting. I work with chainsaws mostly
>>
File: proofffff.jpg (392KB, 1443x790px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
proofffff.jpg
392KB, 1443x790px
>>718686538
.....
>>
>>718686672
Just get a chainsaw ticket and start calling around...the real question is why? It's one of the most dangerous jobs out there.
>>
File: type it.jpg (6KB, 441x21px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
type it.jpg
6KB, 441x21px
>>718686538
>>
File: 1472297397319.jpg (120KB, 500x537px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1472297397319.jpg
120KB, 500x537px
>>718686738
>>718686870
well done, lol, but i love 3d
>>
>>718679362
How many trees need to be on a piece of land for it to count as a forest?
>>
>>718686783
Because that's what I do already. Here we work with tractors from 50 years ago with no protection equipment or insurance whatsoever and I get paid at the end of the day.
I have never been to canada I'm currently in my home countr. My question was about the immigration procedure, and even if I manage to get there do I have a possibility to make a life for myself or failure is most likely?
>>
>>718679362
have you ever cut down two trees in one go
>>
>>718687233
I have no idea, man. What country are you from?
>>718687371
No. But my proff almost killed us all with a domino effect once.
>>
>>718687131

189
>>
>>718679362
Where am I most likely to find a rowan tree?
>>
>>718679362
Do you think the mass deforestation going on correlates with climate change? Do you think climate change is real in general? I'm interested to hear your perspective on this issue.
>>
File: 386.jpg (118KB, 1200x900px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
386.jpg
118KB, 1200x900px
>>718687098
ok.... O_o take
>>
>>718687618
In the town of rowan
>>718687650
Mass deforestation is usually caused by man. Climate change is real and people in the profession are making claims to land that in the future will be warm enough to host other trees.

If it's a bad thing, or a good thing, or not something we control I have no idea.
>>
File: Photo0081.jpg (130KB, 640x480px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Photo0081.jpg
130KB, 640x480px
>>718687371
I've cut four or five all together some times when they were all tangled at the top. It's not the safest way to cut down trees. Here we have mostly beech oak and hornbeam that we cut for firewood. Healthy beech is by itself dangerous to fall because it splits easily but very big hollow ones are death traps, they fall unexpectedly and when they hit the ground they explode in all directions. More experienced fallers than me cut a notch in them, not enough to fall them, and then use domino effect with another tree to fall them down at a safe distance.

>>718687470
np man it's okay. I'm from serbia
>>
>>718687650
ofc climate change isnt real. anyone who thinks that is a retarded sheep
>>
>>718679362
Are trees real? And could you tell me why or why not?
>>
>>718688003
>I'm from serbia
My neighbor is from there. Interesting to hear the challenges of forestry there. I can safely say it's not MUCH better here.

There are huge machines that some people have that can fall an entire stand in a day and throw 50 cm+ trees a good 10 ft, but in my experience it's still mostly people like you cutting trees down and getting dragged out.
>>
>>718688176
Nothing is real.
>>
>>718680681
train a team of beavers
>>
File: hockey-stick.jpg (51KB, 400x225px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
hockey-stick.jpg
51KB, 400x225px
>>718688008
and jesus will save you too....
>>
>>718679362
Have you ever climbed a tree and done a poo from it? or fallen out of a tree and landed in some poo?
>>
>>718688318
No. Forest poo isn't that bad, though.
>>
>>718681025
depends on the species... softwood generally grows faster than hardwood, but some hardwood trees like paulownia can grow 6' in a year
>>
>>718688267
good thing jesus isnt real then you retarded sheep. Ofc a religious nut ball would also think that climate change is real bacuse hey i believe a man that walked the earth 2000 years ago turned water into wine and devided a whole fucking ocean lol
>>
>>718688318
One time I peed off a 300 ft cliff.
>>
>>718688318
ive poopd from a balcony once does that count
>>
>>718688406
>The joke
>Your head
>>
>>718688191
I guess there is not much difference afterall. I've seen those machines that fell and limb all together but here we have mostly very steep forests and all the wood is winched with a tractor and dragged away to flatter ground. There are a couple skidders (the one that have the joint in the middle) but again they are big machines and small tractors are easier to maneuver in tight forests. Also roads are mostly very bad.
Most wood is all cut into pieces 1 meter long and sold as firewood. Meter logs make loading easier because it's done mostly by hand in trucks or trailers, also easy to calculate the volume, you just stack them in a pile 1 meter high and measure the lenght.
>>
>>718688406
Oh sorry, I though you could be retarded enough to believe in god, you are just a bit retarded :) my apologies. Now go study something :) (take a candy)
Thread posts: 137
Thread images: 24



[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.