Lets get some Ridgefield and Fort lee.
All other parts of Jersey are welcome.
I don't think you understand. No women that I've ever talked to were even remotely sexually interested in me.
There was this one time though I got my dick sucked by a local whore, but I couldn't stay hard, nutted in her mouth somehow, then she left, and never spoke to me again. Probably out of disappointment and regret.
Hell, I know how to TALK to women, but I don't know anything to talk ABOUT when I'm talking to women.
So you see my problem here?
I couldn't even think of where to start asking for nudes or trying to talk sexual with someone via text or instagram or facebook or some shit.
It's just something so outlandish, because growing up I was taught to keep to myself, not touch others, mind my own business.
So throughout life I did just that.
And now i'm a sperglord who smokes/drinks/jerks off all day and only plays vidya and watches anime.
I go to community college too but that's just me showing up, going to class, and leaving so I can repeat the same toxic lifestyle.
I would kill myself but I feel like I'm already dead. Literally the same shit every day.
For years. It's been this way for years.
Youre doing the same shti for four year and youre unhappy then do something and change it man. Sign up for the gym tmw and hit that shit as much as you can. Most people don't know how to flirt / talk to the opposite sex naturally, it takes tons of practice liek everything else in life. Stop being so toxic and change yourself man
For those looking for ridgefield, This kid is from ridgefield I think
Idk man shits tough. There's a lot of shit I'm leaving out for obvious reasons, but I am in no way just a "normal" 22 year old community college student.
I've done things that make me genuinely feel like I have no soul.
Like I've killed small animals growing up just out of the thrill or for the fun of it.
I hurt people closest to me. I hurt myself and have scars to back it.
I've lost my whole family due to my own stupidity.
I constantly push everyone out of my life when people want to get close because I can't bare the pain of being hurt again.
I've been hurt and let down and ridiculed and shunned so much growing up it's become part of me. I'm literally walking anger.
Some days I wake up and I'm just angry.
Some days I just can't get out of bed, so a day of sleep turns into days of sleep.
I shit blood frequently and feel like I'm dying mentally and physically.
Even though I should be in my prime I feel as though my prime was ten years ago.
So yeah for me to connect and try to find and relate to people is a bit hard. I have no problem sympathizing and feeling for people.
So yeah I would love to love and be loved.
I have such a big heart.
But then again I'm a guy who can watch someone be brutally murdered and eat dinner at the same time. This even sounds edgy saying it.
I just live a life that has minimal amounts of joy and happiness. It sucks because I suck.
Listen man, you recognized your problems. Most people even me are not normal but just try to fit in our best. We all have issues. Honestly man, if youre tired of living life this way and really want to change. Call a therapist tmw, not in a week and not a couple days but tmw.
Oh man if a therapist or therapy or therapist(s) could work that would be great.
But I've seen many before and multiple different ones.
It's sad to say but I don't think anyone can help me with my problems.
I'm just a fucking terrible person.
And the worst thing is that I know and I feel every action that I do.
Incredibly connected to the world around me and the emotions and feelings of every last living creature.
It just hurts so much to live and be sentient while at the same time ignoring the pain of the past, present, and future.
I think it's the pain that helps you unlock the unconscious mind.
It allows you to view the world in ways others cannot perceive. That everything is cynical, white washed, and bland. That life loses it's special "meaning," and you realize that there is no meaning to life at all.
Then I sit here and wonder why I'm forever alone and chad has a wonderful life and girlfriend.
It's almost like too much knowledge drives a man crazy. It's definitely driving me crazy.
see a cognitive behavioral therapist dude
if this isn't bait, you sound like a textbook psychopath, and should try medication before killing Peter Rabbit turns into murdering a convenience store clerk
Who the fuck is Derya?
Did you not read any of the shit I said?
Women don't send me nudes.
Women rarely ever acknowledge me.
Women don't even see me in a sexual way.
I've tried so many times with so many different women and every single time it ends up with my time wasted and a bunch of mixed up emotions.
If I wanted to go on an emotional roller coaster I'd go to fucking six flags in Jackson...
There is no amount of "talking about it" that's going to change the forever alone aching feeling in my chest that I feel multiple times weekly. Thousands of times yearly.
I literally sit here night after night doing the same shit with no means to an end.
The person I am will not let me change.
The attitude I have will drive people away. I am unstable.
My parents would tell me growing up that I "have something wrong with me."
I also vividly remember my mother calling me a bastard which she has done of many occasions.
And I also remember the one time my dad told me to "stop being such a pussy."
That was before the multiple physical arguments that escalated monthly growing up in my household.
I've broken my fathers foot in a fight before and I think I've broken more than my share of property being blackout drunk.
The reason I get drunk is to escape this fucking life and these fucking feels. But yeah, oh well.
One day we'll see. I won't die a pussy.
bumping with more Derya. No i don't have wins
You deserve to be happy, anon. I'd look into therapy if you aren't already going. If you tried it and stopped, find a different therapist. There are people who are not you who care about you. It's time to join them.
Does anyone know her or if more of her exist? Only got one
Ive only seen one nude. Didnt know there was another. Whats it of? Can someone post it.