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Ask a p-psychologist anything! But f-first, tea! I'm h-here

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 288
Thread images: 79

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Ask a p-psychologist anything! But f-first, tea!

I'm h-here for you Anonymous; h-how can I help?

inb4 trap
inb4 tits or gtfo
L-let's not be newfags Anonymous
After all, you know the rules and so do I
>>
Alice... Hello./
>>
>>718609080
I like red!
>>
Holy shit.
I didn't I'd ever return back here.

Hello Alice and everyone
>>
Hello Alice how was your day?
>>
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>>718609080
why is your outlet all weird?
>>
>>718609080
I like the stockings, Alice!
>>
How do I the things?
>>
Why do you offer psychology info whilst masquerading as a game character?
>>
>>718609080
Why should anyone trust you?
>>
awooooooooo
>>
Trap
>>
>>718609080
I need something strong. my wimpy friend from kindergarten managed to get himself a girlfriend before me and he is a fucking twig
>>
>>718609080
alice! hi! i miss most of your threads! I had two questions!

1. Were you attractive before your scars?

2. What's your most attractive feature now?
>>
>>718609080

Hiya Alice!

How was your day?
>>
Should I eat leftover pizza or wings?
>>
i'll have 2 number 9s
>>
Why did you ignore my mail Alice? ;_;
>>
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May I get some tea please?
>>
IZUMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>
>>718609439
^ Sameeeeeeeee
>>
what's the easiest way to kill myself
>>
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>>718609080
Alice seriously when the fuck are you gonna get some food in your system?

Those look like 2 sticks covered in read panties.
>>
>>718609080
psychologist, I thought you were a programer?
>>
Lol your are a gay ?...
Well i want some "Tea"
>>
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L-look, you've all g-got a lot to say and we'll g-get to that.

But first, let's select a tea okay?

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1KoXBx6Nh2o
>>
>>718609080
holy shit you're back <3
>>
>>718609502
you can hang yourself with most things, and snapping the neck is usually the best way
>>
>>718609080
woah a faggot
>>
>>718609080
how do i stop from feeling overwhelm?
>>
>>718609080
How do I celebrate Trumps inauguration?
>>
>>718609080
show feet?
>>
>>718609591
yay tea, as a brit there is nothing finer
>>
HOW SHIT I AM A FOKING NEWFAG!!!
SOMEONE HELP ME!
>>
>>718609080
-shows up for tea and brings Alice a slice of lemon sponge cake- <3
>>
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>>718609080
i fapped to you twice OP .
i want to put my meaty part in your silky hole and fill it with white cream of happiness
>>
Alice, you make my dick hard ya know?
>>
Ȝyf a man be skalt on hys membres or on his ȝerde, ley þe pouder þeron!
>>
is whiskey a tea?
>>
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>>718609173
G-glad to hear!

>>718609155
Hello d-dear!

>>718609230
W-welcome home!

>>718609259
C-can't complain

>>718609263
It isn't s-silly!

>>718609295
Oh w-wow, you understand w-what I'm from! I'm impressed!

>>718609302
N-never asked for trust <4

>>718609265
Thanks!

>>718609319
I already inb4'd silly!

>>718609367
It w-was okay!

>>718609439
W-what mail?

>>718609517
I'm s-sorry, I can't read panties.

>>718609559
I double majored!

>>718609592
And b-better than ever!
>>
>>718609591
why did this give me an erection
>>
>>718609800
FUCK OFF ANOREXIC FAGGOT THERE IS A SISSY THREAD FOR YOU.
>>
>>718609800
tea looks good.
im going to stick with my ipa.
i might fix some tea later.
>>
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>>718609709
L-looks like t-this is todays tea!

L-let's talk about that!
http://vocaroo.com/i/s17Z5H7XkfvH
>>
>>718609800
>Oh w-wow, you understand w-what I'm from! I'm impressed!
people on /b/ usually don't?
>>
is it cool if i fap
i'm gonna fap
>>
>>718609080 (OP)
idK HOW SHIT I DO TO THIS TRAP NOTICE MEH)?

Well that is my Social Life end...
>>
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>>
>>718609924
F-first, I'm not anorexic. S-second, I'm not male.

It's l-like you didn't even read the first post.

>>718609964
Correct!

>>718609983
W-what?
>>
>>718609946
hmm I once grey chamomile and made my own tea, it was ok
>>
Did you ever post out all 1000 of those Kamina glasses from way way back?
>>
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>>718609800
but it's dirty, and not level
>>
>>718609946
alice why do you sound like you haven't drunken water for hours
>>
>>718609946
why is your voice so crokey? sounds like you need some honey in that tea
>>
>>718609724
kys
>>
>>718609350
I just want to say this is in response to you saying you're not attractive because of your scars! so i want to know more about what you think of yourself..i guess it was a few months ago...
>>
>>718610067

Alice why are you so cute
>>
>>718609924

now whit that i feel great!

Show meh you Sweet tea! (?
>>
Aw hell yea. Im the guy who you just messaged on Steam with this thread link. Do you have a schedule?
>>
>>718610067
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1GXXMeTCicQ
>>
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>>718609946
Good choice, you sound like you have a cold, everything alright?
>>
Post more pics of you in stockings
>>
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>>718609080
Hello. I'd like to think I'm a pretty normal person but on the other hand I can't seem to go a day with out masturbating. Is there something wrong with me?
>>
I have avoidant personality disorder. How can I not be retarded and get by well enough to keep a job and have people like me?
>>
>>718610287
im sorry that you got burned alice
>>
>>718610308
S-so, let me t-talk to you about this tea for a b-bit, because it's super good <4
>>
IM SOO HAPPY MY FIRST KYS! <3 (This is the hell on .Org)
>>
-wanders into the broom closet and gets a bottle of lemon pledge-
>>
>>718610067
alice do you take nigger dick
>>
>>718610349
you're a dude
thats why
>>
>>718610287
Oh, fair enough. You're still too cute. But do you have a regular schedule or do you just come randomly?
>>
>>718610385
whaaat the fuck is that thing right of the knives
>>
>>718610349
Masturbation is b-both healthy and encouraged!

>>718610364
It's n-not your fault <4

>>718610355
B-by going to a doctor!

>>718610455
Y-yes, every day at 8PM
Except when I'm late
Like today.
>>
>>718609080
You have a pretty heavy schedule this week Alice. What gives?
>>
>>718610385
Please spread your legs. We all wanna see your panties
>>
What kind of tea would you recommend for a night of playing videogames and smoking pot?
>>
>>718610287
i think im getting why you have the drawings
>>
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FUCKING PET ME
>>
Oh, it's you again.
>>
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>>718610385
>>
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>>718609080
Source on trap, please.
>>
>>718610524
Can we masturbate to and for you?
>>
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>>718610597
*pets* <3
>>
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>>718610385
im listening
>>
>>718609800
wr3ct0r at gmail mail
>>
>>718610602
P-please
>>
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>>
>>718610524
Now I know when to check 4ch to see your threads.I don't why but I find those soothing for some reason. Thanks Alice!
>>
>>718610524
so alice how did you get burned
>>
>>718609080
Well miss Alice, thank you for this free therapy session. Why don't we chat over some coffee instead?
>>
Alice you are less alluring if you are really not a trap.
>>
>>718609080 (OP)

Wow , How you do to make a lot of people wanna fap whit you , i no see the "sexy" stuff ...
But you are 2 trap to meh ...
>>
Fucking traps everywhere
>>
-carefully cleans all of the wood surfaces in the thread with the lemon pledge and admires how they shine. Is glad to keep the thread clean and hurries back to the broom closet to get the vacuum cleaner-
>>
>>718610602
don't over exert yourself this year with that "everyday" promise at the least <4
>>
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Alright, n-now that we all have t-tea and are all lamenting m-my lack of a penis, l-let me ask you seriously Anonymous.

How was your day? How are you doing? How can I help?
>>
>>718609263
Horizontal
Painted
Socket frame disconnected from sockets/broken/partially attached so it springs back and forth
I zoomed in.
You'll notice it doesn't say "Ask a h-handyman".

I think what you really meant was "Fix your weird socket."
>>
>>718610524
>>
>>718610385
DAAAAMN CONGRATZ YOU DIDN'T MAKE A MESS !
>>
>>718610753
Psychologist, eh? Odd place to be putting your practice to. That's just me.
>>
>>718610740
why the fuck would you drink coffee at 8pm
>>
>>718610753
How is videogames a bad choice?
>>
>>718609080
What kind of mental disorders you habe?
>>
>>718610774
Not OP but a lot of guys find a skirt and stocking combination sexy
>>
>>718610845
D-do you have that WEBM of you praising yourself and dissing 1D and 2D girls?

Id really appreciate that cute little thing you do.
>>
>>718609080
Who are you?
What are your origins?
>>
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>>718610845
Is there anyone who fill your rotten pussy with cum?
>>
>>718610845
Do you have any charms to help me with the stress of college?
>>
>>718610067
too much dick isnt healthy dude
>>
>>718610385
......Dem thighs.....I think I might have a new fetish.
>>
>>718610845
I still don't have a gf
>>
>>718609080
Why do you fucking stutter im Internet?
>>
GOTIS
>>
>>718610886
W-what place needs it m-more?

>>718610970
L-lurk more, I've only b-been here six years now.

>>718610976
S-sorry, I deal with science, n-not fantasy <4
>>
>>718610845
Okay. You can help by posting more lewd pics
>>
>>718610982
thigh highs are my demise
>>
>>718610729
dam nigger
>>
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>>718610893
Because cawfee is better than gween tea
>>
Hello Alice!

Unfortunately I'm sick today! My entire family has been sick and it seems that it's now my turn. I knew that I shouldn't have taken my time with the flu vaccine this year!
>>
>>718611037
T-this is a t-thread for Anonymous to s-seek help; you m-may wish to ask a different question <4
>>
>>718610753
>video games and pot are a bad choice
if i asked you to marry me rn would you atleast let me down gently?
>>
>>718611090
D: -blends white and green together and lets you try-
>>
Color of your panties?
>>
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>>718611031
Man up and get one, you bloody imbecile.

>>718611044
I figure anywhere, considering this place is already condemned to an eternity of self damnation.
>>
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>>718611131
>>
>>718610845
I'm tired all the time and can't seem to get motivated to do anything
>>
>>718609080
Why didn't you become a real doctor?
>>
>>718610845
My sleep schedule is completely demolished, I've been waking up later and later every day, tonight for example, I woke up at around 7 PM. I'm up all night, can't sleep, I'm depressed.. No GF FeelsBadMan, I rage at noobs on video games and feel like a fucking ass hole afterwards, no job, living with family. On top of that I've been hospitalized recently because I was shitting blood. (21 y/o). I smoke, and I've been to jail. I'm pretty much fucked if you ask me. My question to you is, should I rob a bank, or shouldn't I?
>>
>>718610845
do you draw the faces that you use as a mask?
>>
>>718610845
I work with disabled kids who cant talk or sign (pretty much just gesture in a general direction). had a child to day and he was trying to make himself clear that he wanted something but the communication barrier is difficult. any suggestions?
>>
>>718611090
If you wanna stay up till 1am. Unless it's decaf which is sacrilegious
>>
I need help. GF and I got into a argument and she won't talk to me. How could I fix it?
>>
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Can't wait for someone to recognize this faggot's kitchen and dox him
>>
>>718611222
nice trips. Answer us, Alice
>>
>>718610845
life just seems to have no meaning, i go to work, and i sleep. havent had any sort of relationship in 8 years. i bet i dont go over 50 spoken words a day.
>>
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>>718611090
You are damn right Cofee is master race
>>
>>718611269
S-same reason you d-didn't, I suppose <4

>>718611260
L-let me help~ Listen t-to this before you sleep!

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0FbMbe6ORyi
>>
>>718610845
Hmm. Okay day. Preparing for a work trip to the US at the start of February. We're not ready yet so it's a bit overwhelming. Suggestions to cope?

Apart from that I'm slowly getting over my breakup in goddamn October. She left me and now can't stop trying to contact me for us to get back together. I know it's a bad idea to go back, so I ignore her. But it is not working. Ideas?

I'm in the early phases of a joint artistic project with a special someone, but I think I replied too late to their last message and now they've forgotten about me. Any way to restart the discussion without sounding like a jerk?

Any tips for procrastination? I have some writing to do and can't bring myself to do it after long days of work. Tips?

As always, thanks a bunch Alice!
>>
>>718611131
> Flu vaccine
Everyone taking flu vaccine is retarded. Flu is an super-mutative virus...
>>
>>718610845
I'm not doing too well today, my uncle was very rude to me today. He snapped at my for no reason and it really had me in a bad mood for awhile.
>>
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>>718611257
So why do you do this and how did you start?
>>
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I can't seem to get enough sleep nowadays. What do you recommend?
>>
>>718611160
Ok, why would an Anon >>718611193
stutter on Internet?
>>
>>718609595
no that sounds painful and unreliable

thanks for the shitty advice
>>
Can I please suck on your feet and thighs?
>>
>>718611449
you're retarded
leave medical science to the professionals
>>
>>718611565
Stop being a moonbitch
>>
>>718610845
Doing ok for once. Look forward to these threads Alice. Thank you but don't over-exert yourself
>>
Hi Alice, long time no see. I've been sort of depressed lately, even though I've recently been promoted, and find some satisfaction in working full time.

It's like there's no meaning to life, like working is a distraction that is wasting my life. Even though I'm only twenty, I feel like time is moving faster and faster, and I'm, having a hard time keeping up. Is this normal, or am I just being a pussy?

[spoiler] Also I'm stuck in the third world of dark souls 3 how the fuck do I defeat that tree? [/spoiler]
>>
>>718611319
Y-you against me, m-me against you,
Whenever, w-whatever
Fuck y-you gonna do?
>>
Can you tell us the color of your panties? Im not asking for a picture, just the mental image, sil vous plait.
>>
>>718611619
kek I was gonna say that
>>
>>718609080
Real Psychiatrist here.

You're suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder.
I have to work early so am off, look into it and help yourself.
>>
>>718611565 fucking moonbitch
>>
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Ah, interesting, you're back.
>>
i remember you. you gave me some okay advice about my possible drug related brain damage. or somethign like that. I never went to a doctor. i'm still here, and i'm still alive.

aren't you going to say, that you're disapointed in me?

okay. heres one- why am i more attracted to damaged women, or women with lose moral values/low self respect, than I am some kidn of mentally healthy person?
>>
>>718611648
Fuck messed up spoiler tag, now I'm embarrased
>>
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I would like your doggo and your tea please. English and currently pet-less.
>>
>>718611656
Where's your car door ?
>>
-hums tunelessly while running the vacuum through the thread. He lifts up the edges of the carpet to make sure it's clean under there, too.-
>>
Give the people what they want, Alice. Give us some lewds.
>>
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>>718611565
I love akarin

moonbitch
>>
I have a friend who claims to be unable to orgasm, partly (maybe mostly) because of a traumatic event in her past.

Any advice?
>>
>>718611565
moonbitch >>>/out/
>>
>>718610740
Alice doesnt like coffee
>>
>>718611597
No you are clearly retarded, taking a flu vaccine is giving you maybe 0,1% better chances not getting ill from flu. In the time you got your vaccine it already mutated again
>>
Hi Alice, how will you ignore me today?
>>
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>>718611290
Oh d-dear. L-let me think.

Perhaps h-having a picture book w-would help? W-with common items or actions he m-might wish to have or do? Then h-he could gesture to what he wants?

>>718611344
T-then why not put yourself b-back out there?

>>718611412
Plan it out. Like, this is an easy one: make a schedule, itemize all the things you need, go over and over it until you know it, understand it, memorize it.

Anxiety is happening because there are unknowns. Eliminate all the ones you can find, and you'll feel better <4

>>718611456
W-what an asshole!

>>718611487
I d-do it because if I d-don't, no one will.

>>718611565
T-try unisom! V-very effective!
>>
>>718611872
>taking a flu vaccine is giving you maybe 0,1% better chances not getting ill from flu

wow...fuck you for being this selfish AND ignorant
>>
>>718611565
Like Alice said, unisom is pretty amazing at putting you to sleep! Be careful with oversleeping on it!
>>
>>718611626
I'll b-be fine!

>>718611648
Life has meaning when you make it have it, Anonymous. Life DOES move faster as you get older, or at least your perception of it does.

Think about it. Each day is LESS of your perceptive reality than the last; the second day you have is 1/2 of your life, the fourth is 1/4th, etc etc.

That's just an interesting part of how our brains work! Nothing to it but to accept it <4
>>
>>718611412

Drugs. Next question!
>>
>>718611934
I dont feel like theres anyone out there for me. im not one for rinse repeat relationships. im also terrible at meeting people.
>>
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>>718611745
>I didn't listen to any of your advice last time, please waste more of your time on me onee-chan
>>
Oh, Alice. I've got a physics finals tomorrow. I'm really stressed out. What should I do?
>>
>>718611934
show panties
>>
>>718611934
>I d-do it because if I d-don't, no one will.

Truly an hero <3
>>
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>>718611934
why the pictures , why not a buy a full anime masks ?
also did you draw them ?
>>
>>718609080
Okay Dr. Alice, thank you by the way.

My day was a bit exhausting. My girlfriend has Asperger's and i am a fat white NEET without the benefit of upper-class liniage or a trust fund.

All she wants to do is play Pokemon GO and eat. Quite literally all of our time together for the last 6 months has been one or the other.

How do i convey to her that i love her, but the routine is bugging the fuck out of me?
>>
Im studiing a math degree, but im throwing my life and studies by doing nothing and playing videogames everyday and cant force myself to sit and study what should i do?
Today was meh!
>>
>>718612075
Do you actually have arguments or so you just murrican-style talk a lot of nonsense?
>>
>>718612075
I think the effect of the flu vaccine varies from person to person. I haven't had the shot in 10 years now and never had the flu.
>>
>>718611934
Ive tried but by the time you get to the thing he wants hes become so frustrated that he cant focus on the images and just makes louder noises
>>
>>718611711
*blinks* T-that wouldn't make literally any sense.

>>718611734
T-that's me!

>>718611745
It's y-your life, Anonymous. F-feel free to ignore my advice; t-the only person you are hurting is y-yourself.

>>718611772
>
>>
>>718612247
https://www.cdc.gov/flu/about/qa/vaccineeffect.htm
>>
>>718612169
M-m-m-masturbate (to my p-picture)
>>
I lurk a lot of your threads since I don't have anything to ask. But I will be quite sad if they stop.
>>
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>>
I need your lips wrapped around my cock
>>
>>718612303

X GON GIVE IT TO YA
>>
-empties the bin of the vacuum into the garbage can and rings the bell. Three eager squirrels bound into the room and carry off the trash bag to the curb. Such nice squirrels. <3 -
>>
This place usually full of whiny rejects in life?
>>
>>718612303
CX-5. Good SUV. What car do you drive?
>>
>>718612252
>haven't had the shot in 10 years now and never had the flu.
you're missing the point, then
>>
>>718611919
Alice... I know you, but you know me?
>>
>>718611934
My gf and I got into a fight, not physical, and she stormed off. I fucked up but we fought like this before and we always made up. But this time she was pissed. I tried talking to her and she just flipped me off. How could I calm her down?
>>
>>718612360
C-can you post more pictures p-please?
>>
>>718609080

I want to face-fuck you hard, and jizz down your hungry throat. If you can help me with that, I'll feel better. Thanks.
>>
Hey Alice. You always put a smile on my face.
>>
>>718612420
YOU DON'T HAVE A COCK YOU FLESH-LESS SKELETON BITCH>>718612477
>>
>>718610630
>>718610646

fags
>>
>>718612477
NOT UNTIL YOU CAME HERE FAGGOT
>>
>>718612232
You should study. Its simple as that. You decide you prefer vidya over studying. Its your choice
>>
>>718612525
seconded
>>
Why does I have a little "voice" in my head that says me that I cant make my girl happy and that i shouldnt trust her loyalty... Help me alice
>>
>>718612420
THERES NO COCK DOWN THERE MR BONES
>>
>>718612548
I will haunt u
>>
>>718612224

Murder-suicide. Next.
>>
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>>718612590
Hmm, faggot. Not like I haven't heard that insult slung around this website about an insurmountable amount of times before.
>>
>>718611809
B-buy a hitachi wand.

>>718611872
T-that's neither how the flu n-nor how the vaccine works.

>>718612139
S-sounds like you need to change your perspective!

>>718612169
Sleep on it. It'll help your studying go to long term memory.

>>718612224
P-please, just Alice. I'm n-not a doctor.

I recommend getting a job.

>>718612232
Math is v-very useful! I'd try to l-learn programming on the side, it's b-basically math in motion!

>>718612295
Aw t-that's really sad to hear....if y-you don't have much time b-before he gets upset, you could do what Mc Donalds does!

Make a "menu" with a series of generic pictures, even vaguely related to an activity or item. Then when he picks one, distract him for a bit so his subjective mood catches up.

Then show him ANOTHER menu, this one MORE focused than the last one, BASED on what he picked previously. For example, if he picked food last time, this would be a menu of different KINDS of food.

It should take only three layers deep to get pretty close to what he wants, and as long as you keep his focus off choosing for a bit, it should improve the changes he successfully gets what he wants!
>>
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This thread
>>
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>>718612303
What do you want in exchange for sitting and having tea with me because your flavour collection is miles better than mine?
>inb4 "look at this nerd"
>>
>>718612509

Strangulation. Next.
>>
>>718612303
>*blinks* T-that wouldn't make literally any sense.
that makes no sense

Seriously, get professional help, offering unqualified advice to people might seem helpful but can cause more damage than helping. Where did you study?
>>
>>718612324
So you telling me that you should vaccinate because there are ppl who could die by flu? If they die by flu they are anyway already near dead. And getting ill is good, it stimulates your immunity system.
>>
>>718612529
A-anon but t-that's l-lewd! B-but I would p-probably enjoy that!
>>
>>718612749
HOLY SHIT , HOW MANY FUCKING FEDORAS DO YOU OWN YOU MIKE BROWN LOOKING BITCH ?
>>
I need to go to college. Or I'll be massive disappointment. I'm think computer science, or similar. What college did you go to, Alice?
>>
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>>718612825
>>
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>>718612820
How does this make you feel?
>>
>>718609080
I got told that I run with the derelict crowds since middle school. I was also told that it was because I subconsciously need to be the ringleader of whatever group I'm in. The druggies/party/street racing crowd is fairly easy to control and be the smartest person in the room. but do you think this is valid?
>>
>>718612820
>B-buy a hitachi wand.

I hadn't thought of something so direct...
>>
>>718609080
We had a snow storm yesterday. How do I deal with all this white bullshit?
>>
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>>718613035
>>
>>718612525
F-First give me a d-dickpic with my name in your c-cock. T-then maybe.
>>
>>718612953

Yeah. Cuz you're a dude. I know.
>>
>>718613035
-cries squeaky tears in a corner while holding onto his blue blanket-
>>
>>718613035
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FUCKING NORMIEEE WASTING ALL THE CHOCCY MILK REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>718610845
My day was alright i guess. That's kinda the problem. I have a decent life, decent job, and I am no where as badly off as others have it. But the thing is I just can't seem to feel joy out of anything anymore. Work seems like a chore, everything I do seems like its way more work than it should be, and even when I do "fun" things I feel like I am only repeating a cycle because that's what I use to get joy from. Worst part is I feel like I have no choices anymore and I am only 25.
>>
>>718612650
Its b-because you are g-gay...
>>
>>718612938
yep
until we have a spanish flu outbreak again.

the one that killed young, healthy people.

do yourself a favor and do what your doctor recommends for a change. it might benefit you or someone you love.

j/k you don't love anyone.
and you wont ever listen to your doctor about your lack of diet and exercise.

yes I'm insulting you because there's nothing left but insults when you're this stupid.

it's far more enjoyable to troll and shitpost than to try and educate someone who won't listen. you should know this well
>>
>>718612477
Isn't all of /b/?

>>718612482
I d-don't have a car at this time <4

>>718612509
Apologize.

>>718612536
G-glad to help <4

>>718612650
B-because you need t-to talk to a doctor <4

>>718612852
*blinks* I d-do these threads for free silly <4

>>718612922
It makes no sense to say that your diagnosis makes no sense?

Boy, I better go tell my colleagues this, they've been gettin' it all wrong for ages!

>>718612938
...I'm not near death, but I could easily die from the flu. Due to a weakened immune system.

You are kind of a selfish prick huh?

>>718613009
CS and Psychology <4

>>718613035
Fine <4
>>
I have nothing to do today, Alice. Suggest something productive for me to do in the next, hmmmm, five hours?
>>
>>718612820
severe autism and zero real advice
>>
>>718612724
I was asking the good Doctor of this thread
Not a bitch. -sips tea-

>>718612820

Now now, a doctorate in cuteness is still a doctorate.

I am actually taking full time care of my mother who came down with a debillitating illness after i graduated secondary school.

Getting a paying job simply isn't an option until she dies or gets better (impossibly unlikely).
>>
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What are some good jobs for someone with crippling social anxiety? im smart as shit but can barely get through an interview..
>>
I'd ask for a hug but that seems so awkward
>>
>>718612820
Because as psychologist you know so much about viruses and immunity system.
>>
Can you post more pics of yourself .. For science
>>
>>718612820
thats actually quite a good idea, thanks <5

also
>hitachi wand
o.o
>>
>>718613103
It w-works for me!

>>718613113
G-get a shovel!

>>718613146
That isn't even m-me, silly <4

>>718613243
>>718613243
Y-you have anhedonia. Seek m-medical attention.

>>718613289
P-program a game!
>>
>>718609080
You aren't a psychologist, you fucking t-twit.
>>
Ok OP. How would you deal with sex addiction?
>>
>>718613277
Such a sweet lass. Don't know your gender, don't care.
>>
>>718612124
you are wrong, life move fast when you do the same thing, if you full your life new things you make life "appear" longer also this is the way to fulfill life.
now think of your last 6 years.
>>
>>718613488
>P-program a game!
In five hours? with no programming experience?

Sounds good! Where do I start
>>
>>718609080
I don't know what to do with my life. I'm 19 and in a program through my school that gets me a job (near the school, it's cities away) and they pay for a few semesters of college, but I'm not motivated at all. I have no idea what to do. What can I do to find out? Or, tell me something to do with my life.
>>
>>718610509
Spice rack
>>
>>718609591
>sodastream
my nigga
>>
>>718613523
-wipes away his tears and starts doing the dishes to take his mind off of the spilled milk.-
>>
>>718612953
Is it bad im kindve gettin turned of the thought facefucking alice? And having those legs around my neck? Urgh her stockings make me hard
>>
>>718613277
>>718613009
>CS and Psychology <4
But which college? I need advice as to where to go.
>>
C-can I eat y-you out?
>>
>>718613277
I've tried but she doesn't care
>>
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May be if I cook for Alice - dono she will notice me
>>
>>718613276
Because vaccinating against normal strains will prevent an mutation of a deadly-strain. No its more like the other way round. The harder you make the selection for the virus, the deadlier he becomes. Its like murricans and antibiotics. You idiots develop antibiotic-immune bacteria strains by giving medical for every little shit and eben preventive
>>
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>>718612997
If I keep this up, is the little vein pulsing in your forehead going to erupt to paint the wall next to you? If so, I best not stop.
>>
These threads always make me so happy. I don't think I could live without them.
>>
>>718613488
This image made me laugh. I feel slightly better now.

Now onto the bullshit.

-Nico
>>
Am currently seeing a psych dr. and team of specialists. They have only formally-diagnosed me as having bi-polar and drug-induced psychosis (used to do a lot of MDMA), but I think I've fried my brain and developed schizo, autism, and a few more disorders. It some days feels excruciating to live with the constant paranoia, regret, and self-loathing. I rarely leave the house, spend all my time smoking weed and browsing 4chan. Getting bored of the routine, but I'm too pussy to venture back into a society that I worry will reject me
>>
>>718611934
i met the love of my life a few months ago, but her mom hates me and i have no idea why. ive never even had a conversation before. one day everything is fine, the she slowly started pushing us apart. weve been dating in secrecy for about a month now. the girls name is mia, and shes the most wonderful person ive ever met. but she has lots of issues. she has depression, bipolar, and autism. despite the fact she gets sad alot, i love helping her feel better. she tells me all the time that she wouldnt have anyone else, and im the only person who listens to her, talks to her on a regular basis without avoiding her, and loves her as a person, not just trying to get into her pants. her mom is probably the worst mother a person with these issues can get. shes way too strict and freaks out and screams at her about everything. LITERALLY EVERYTHING! shes not allowed to lay down in her own home, her mom screams at her to "sit up like a normal fucking person!" shes so verbly abusive, and she actually hit her recently. shes a depressed, bipolar, autistic girl under 18 who gets abused by her mother. shes turning 18 next year and i promised to help her. the law says that any person in the USA over 18, despite disorders has the RIGHT to choose their living space. her mom says that shes not allowed to leave once shes 18 because she has special needs. so she clearly hasnt done research on this topic. i want to take her back to my place after shes 18, and my best friend who is an active duty US marine will help me explain to her mom that she cant do anything about this. and then possibly marry her. what do you think? im so worried about what will happen, and i dont know if this plan will work. please help me.
>>
>>718613374
Y-yes, as someone w-who isn't utterly incapable of research, I do <4

>>718613356
Patient. Seek medical attention.

>>718613305
T-then you aren't a NEET, dear.

>>718613503
T-that's easy! I d-don't have it!

I'm also not a sexual psychologist, sorry.

>>718613523
S-sorry, neurology disagrees with you <4

>>718613573
https://github.com/aerys/minko

>>718613617
...you have it backwards.

You GET motivation from DOING things. By making choices, by taking chances, by TRYING THINGS OUT!

If you have no idea what to do, then try a lot of things!

>>718613707
Princeton <4

>>718613721
T-then give her space, silly.

>>718613816
Oh silly Anonymous; you could live a loving, happy, successful life all on your own.

You don't need me <4 I'm just here to show you what you are capable of.
>>
>>718613488
I'm male and I have a similar issue as >>718611809
I can do it alone but not with partners. It definitely helped to end my last relationship, what could I do?
>>
do you lurk /b/ outside your threads ?
are you active in another threads as anonymous ?
>>
d-d-d-dad w-w-w-whats for breakfast?
>>
>>718613277
Classic 4chan. People getting advices from an anon who ist stuttering on internet. Like there is no better option than someone being this autistic
>>
>>718611565
I got some nyquil only take it when i really need to. Often sleep during the day since i stay up to 5:20am every day on the computer doing anime or playing 3ds. can't play during the day cause my dad is a get a job nazi and blows the fuck up if i look like i'm doing nothing.
>>
>>718613707
Community college of you're dumb. A college representative of the state if you're smart. i.e Florida State University
>>
>>718613801
boi ur hilarious
>>
I have such a love and hatred for these threads. Reminds me of the girl that I lost my virginity to.
>>
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>>718613905
Alice, I think I killed one of the people in here. I'm not apologizing.

>>718614018
Oh, there you are. You had me all worried.
>>
>>718613866
S-sounds like you are l-literally making yourself w-worse by continuing to dose yourself w-with psychoactive drugs.

Maybe stop that.

>>718613889
....it actually d-doesn't say that, given that is a s-state level issue, n-not federal level.

But it sounds like you are underage b&, s-so kindly get off of /b/ <4

>>718613921
H-have you tried prostate stimulation?

>>718613965
*shrugs* T-they are free to seek someone else. No one h-has a gun to their head.

>>718613929
I am active all over /b/ <4
>>
>>718613965
hello newfag. You will soon learn that these are one of the MUCH better threads on /b/. I say top 10%. Maybe even 5%
>>
>>718613905
She came back and just went into the shower still mad
>>
>>718613965
-is worried you're not feeling well and brings you a cup of tea-
>>
>>718609080
I would really like to get an outsiders point of view. I'm almost 23 , single. I would like to know what kind of mentality would cause an individual to avoid dating or intimate relationships. I have no problem talking to woman. I just don't see myself asking any of them out.
>>
>>718613277
Weakened immune system... Well you can die from anything since there are millions of different virus strains. Getting immune against 10 000 of them decrease s your risk not very much. And honestly I don't give a fuck. If you have an weakened immune system then its your problem
>>
>>718613905
Do you want to go ice skating with me, Alice? We can hold hands.
>>
people keep flirting with me and its making my social anxiety get worse and worse i cant handle it at all idk what to do
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