sitting pressing the knife against the skin and trying to decide weather to slice or not. then I realized that I only wanted to kill myself when I felt bad but not when I felt good. it was clear then that I did not want to die I just wanted not to feel the way I felt anymore. and somehow the first and strongest impulse was to kill myself. never wanted to do it again since then.
>>718555241 Cousin had a retarded baby. Second baby came out black. Put a pistol to the temple. I only have 1 memory of him because his banging hot tramp was a hot blonde with fat tits on a petite frame and my grandma had a pool. I feel like he missed out on Trump 2016
>>718556130 His mom is messed up, she posts a picture of him daily writing a long poem every day about how much she misses him and how she wants him to come back to her. She is utterly destroyed. Don't know that much about his dad as he did leave the family at a early age but his step dad was a mess too.
Dude if you fail have a really good time in a psych ward for a few months. Then you will really want to die as they try new meds on you on a weekly basis, you'll be a zombie walking around complacent that you're literally being tested on. Oh yeah, and then there is the group therapy you're forced to go to, where you have to listen to fuckin wackos talk about conspiracy theories. There might be the one druggy in there that will tell you what to say to get some good shit from the nurses. Also they will prob claim you have some sort of BPD going on and pump you with haldol. You'll sit in a flourcest white room drooling for a few weeks. Fun times. Happened to me a few years ago.
>>718556466 Drinking as we speak I feel like my friends are tired of my bullshit and they wouldnt know what to tell me not sure how to approach a priest, what to tell him and how to start. I even feel weird about going to my doctor soon about it,,
>>718555241 most effective method of suicide is gunshot to the head, preferably a shotgun, or hanging chances of surviving all other methods are surprisingly high you need to fall from at least 250 ft (preferably more) to die from that, otherwise your chances of surviving as a cripple or a vegetable increase with each foot you take away pills almost never work, slitting your wrist is slow and painful and fucking it up might just result in your flesh coagulating even if you do take enough pills or drugs to overdose, death is slow and agonizing. lots of pain, vomiting, etc, I wouldn't recommend it hanging takes about a minute or two as long as you don't royally fuck it up, obviously a shotgun blast to the face is lethal unless you aim it wrong. aim for the center of your head, don't aim straight backwards (could miss your brain) or straight up (could just take off your face and a bit of your frontal lobe, leaving you alive and conscious with brain damage) exit bags are a joke
>>718556903 One of the families has a shrine sort of thing in their living room, I don't really hear from them much but they always post on Facebook about him. The other actually started a charity in his name and regularly does community events to promote Lifeline, they seem to handle it pretty well but behind closed doors I suspect they struggle with it a lot.
>>718555241 Not sure if there is an easiest way.... My brother took his own life in the same way as the op pic in our school bathroom, it was horrible. This event was the absolute turning point for my family falling apart, in the 25 years that have passed since that event, my close family (Sisters, brothers, parents) have only been together fully once. I am the only one in the family that doesn't feel like there was anything that I could have done to change his choice, and yet I am the only other family member whom has been tremendously suicidal. Its definitely a hard choice to make, and its impact is huge.
>>718557153 your body still reacts to helium and nitrogen even though they are inert gases, plus it's hard to get "pure" bottles of either gas without it having some sort of bitterant or extra thing in it that makes death painful lots of people report discomfort when using an exit bag and stopped trying it seems like it requires a bit more commitment than hanging (once you lose your foot support, that's it) or gunshot (bang and you're done)
Had a cousin who's wife cheated on him. He was diabetic and decided to kill himself by OD'ing on his insulin injections. Smart guy, but had some physical problems from parents drug use when he was born. Pretty much thought he'd never find another girl and life wasn't worth living. Had told his mom at some point that if he ever died, he wanted to be cremated and his ashes scattered in the NM mountains of Philmont Scout Camp. Mother couldn't do it, buried him locally instead so she could visit his grave. I was always saddened that he gave up everything over some whore. Hopefully that's not your plan, too.
>>718557362 Go fuck yourself spreading false claims. Those balloon time one time use tanks are now diluted with oxygen because the manufacture said it would prevent suicide. I can't recall the company name but that was the only damn company to dilute helium. The rest of the manufacturers of helium still produce clean pure helium.
>>718557349 Thats horrible anon, I'm sorry to hear that.. How come your family didnt come together for a diner meeting or something? I really think that it would be the best for all of you if you talked about it or stayed some time together as a family.
This is the reason why I cant do it. Family is the only thing keeping me sane, but in a way also more depressed because I feel like only an emotional burden and failure to them
>>718555241 one day you will get out from this hell, i gurantee you that you will laugh about how stupid you were that you even thought of doing an hero. its just temporary, i suffered from depression for longer time but recently my life changed, you just gotta wait. you will understand what im sayin when the depression goes away
you will need: wire, superglue and a tall building.
wrap the wire around your neck and secure it to the building, superglue your hands to either side of your head and then jump off, the wire will cut your head off but to everyone else it'll look like you ripped your own fucking head off.
>>718555241 I guy I worked with shot himself in the head with a 12 gauge. He was kept alive for a couple days before he finally passed. His wife tried to kill herself with pills when she found him (he did it when his family was in the house), but she was saved. He ruined the lives of his whole family and his friends. And it was all because he got busted for cheating for the second time. Suicide is really fucking gay imo. Death comes to those that are patient. There's something to be said about living a clean life and having your shit together.
>>718558020 few friends knew what i was going through, they got me a dog for christmas, very risky decision giving a pet to someone on christmas, i was angry that i cant take care of the dog but turns out its not that hard. they did good. i am very thankful for that gift, my dogs company makes me stop thinking about negative things, its really helpful
>>718557744 >>718557839 My parents seperated and divorced within a year of the event. All my siblings moved out in that year as well. My father was a recovering alcholic whom worked around 14-20 hours a day and would often not come home. I got hooked on drugs for numerous years. It was just a bad situation all around. My family has a lot of love to share, but its hard to negotiate the demands of life. I am the only officially diagnosed autistic in my family but all of them exhibit traits on the spectrum. In the year that followed my brothers suicide, with us all grieving and most likely all of us on the spectrum (this was in 1990) it was very difficult for us to support each other, and being in a northern community in Canada the supports just were not there in the community either.
>>718558129 same thing happened in my city few days ago, guy shot himself in the head, wife found him, called ambulance but she was sure he was dead, when they came they found out he was still breathing, hes currently in hospital and alive
>>718555241 My 16 y/o cousin jumped in front of a train back in 1998/9 (don't remember exactly). Didn't know her too well so I didn't really care but I remember my mom being depressed as fuck for a few months.
More recently my girlfriend of about 6 months attempted suicide by slicing her arm open. She had BPD so no surprises there. The stupid part was she did it the night before I was to take her for a consultation about getting a tattoo sleeve to cover up her scars but whatever. I called the cops to her house, we had a huge fight and I just ghosted her. This was back in like October.
>>718555241 Easiest? I'd say either gunshot to the head, exit bag, or monoxide poisoning (car is storage unit)
And yes To me it felt like as if they had died any other way. I felt sad, I missed them, I eventually got over it. Of course I asked if I could have stopped it/saved him, but i asked that when my grandpa had a heart attack too.
>>718558925 Judgment from others is just one of those things that is a fact. My first suicide attempt was when I was 5 years old, and I have been suicidal since. I know that I am the biggest cause for my families deep aloofness to each other, because I have just torn at their care metres deeply because of my attempts. So its just easier that they and my friends keep more of a distance. I do try to do better for myself by practicing yoga, running, staying social, and eating healthy, but I have seasons I slip back into old behavours. Life is damn hard....
>>718559234 >>718559462 I felt depressed/suicidal for years now, it started by the end of high school over stupid teenage shit like grades, love and so on... all these problems that were bugging me eventually dissapeared, but not the feeling of depression. I wasnt sad about something bad that happened anymore, sadness kinda become a part of me.
Today, the biggest stress and depression source for me is college but somehow I'm still pushing it. I'm also very lonely when it comes to relationships with girls.. I was only once in it as a teen.. and I miss the feeling of loving and being loved back
I said to myself that I'll seek help by the end of the 2016 if something "magical" doesnt happen. And just like that. Like in some gay movies I met her at new ears party and we kissed, laughed, had a great time and made plans for the other days I really thought this was a gift from universe/God/destiny call it whatever you want. She was the most beautiful girl I ever ended up with
We went out on a couple of dates and eventually she lost interest in me when realising how much of a mess I am. Sucks tbqh. When your autism and fucked up emotions screw everything up, an opportunity that happens once every few years
Anyway, I'm not going to kill myself over her. That would be dumb af. But I cant help myself to feel like shit and that something is wrong with me, that I'm not good enough.. but maybe this was a good thing, because now I finally told myself into seeking for some sort of (medical) help
>>718559234 this guy know how to fight it, find some hobbies that you enjoy and just do them. I started with motocross few months ago and i love it, its fun, sets my mind free and i dont have to care about anything else. i just ride till i get exhausted, go home and sleep. nice day spent for me
Don't listen to this anon...cyanide would be a "medium" pain death. Admittedly it would be easy and extremely quick and takes less willpower than pulling a trigger or keeping on a exit bag as you start to drift out of consciousness.
What would it do? It would burn your stomach (think intense heartburn and stomach cramps, people who use cyanide often hold their stomach and convulse right before death), you would feel like you couldn't breath (this is actually how the cyanide kills you, it chemically stops your cells form transporting oxygen, people who die from cyanide usually spend their last minute gasping desperately for air.) Other systems include elevated heart rate, sweating, anxiety, and nausea.
The good news would be that as soon as the "bad" and painful side effects start, you only have about a minute left to live.
>>718559553 i dont know why but i always thought that therapists are for pussies, anyway with the girls, yes its hard, find a ugly girl and befriend her, learn how to talk to her, you will eventually find out its not that different from guys. then you can then try talking to girls you want
>>718558668 People that swerve into transport trucks too. My company has had that twice. The retards that did it had FB walls full of gay shit about some forlorn teenage bullshit and stolen quotes. It really fucks up the drivers when they get used as a suicide tool.
>>718558559 That sucks. I'm semi autistic as well my dad too. Hard to communicate all around with each other. I only ask because I just want to envision what my evil family will be going through when I finally break and die. If I know that my death will separate my family, I will be glad. That is the last thing my dad wants and he is the sole cause of my death so whatever I can do to get revenge humbly.
>>718559234 The most depressing thing in life is when an innocent child(i can speak for myself) attempts suicide. I was also quite young(10) and just wanted out. So in attmept to die, I would bang my head on the wall for brain damage as well as swallow a bunch of prescribed pills. I unfortunately threw it up and felt nauseous. All my attempts, not a single soul knew. I really just wanted to die at such a young age because of abuse. My younger sister was the same. I feel so bad that I could not talk to her about it. I just find it difficult to express emotions.
>>718555241 Press your finger behind your ear lobe, A gunshot there would be the most effective way.
As for the second question, When I was seventeen Two popular guys in a school close to mine killed themselves. I didn't know them but lots of other did. I was shunned for almost three weeks because I didn't give a fuck about their deaths
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