Anything Skyrim edition (greentext,ylyl,fanfiction, webmds,rule 34,gifs,ect...)
Body nice cuz of easy ass mods but armor is shitty-looking and... it's a fucking Orc.
Like part of me is into but after meeting Orc women in Skyrim I could never be attracted to them.
Like, they would only be interested in pegging me or whipping my back while they punched my balls.
Prolly couldn't have children with them because every time I cum in them they call out to their daedric lord to punish their lover for thinking he could ever own a part of them and inflict holy hatred.
Like how the fuck could you even fuck an orc.
I'll bet every one of them got teeth in their vagina like that horror movie and shit.
Probably gonna bite your dick off with their mouth vagina and bitch about you not having a big enough dick to be two-handed and give them experience.
Orc women don't want one-handed experience.
Waste of their scary ass time.
praise malacath for the safe return of my fucking sides
here is a flaming hot Breton Chick for yah.
She looks like a DBZ character getting ready to fuck me up.
But I will say she has nice ass tits.
If I remember correctly Breton have magic defense so I can't use my illusion magic to make her think I'm attractive, so I guess I'll have to actually have some game.
After that I can see us having a nice time together.
She looks pretty battle ready so she'll be solid on readying the household on defensive measure and shit.
Like she's probably the housewife that makes you and your kids go over the fire escape drills and it's such a pain in the ass at the time but when shit really hits the fan you are just so damn thankful your wife knew what the fuck to do.
She wouldn't emasculate me like the Orc bitch but I still feel a need to beat her in an arm wrestling contest even though I don't arm wrestle.
At any rate she'll probably be down to fuck me if I land her, but I would be afraid she would magically make me forget that time she fucked the big Redguard dude in our bed with illusion magic.
Still worth fucking.
Kind of afraid of marrying.
Amulet of Mara considered.
OK what about her cave mate.
She has a fucking "cave mate"?
I guess I just see that as competition.
If I'm being honest, in the skyrim world, I'd probably just murder her "cavemate" and think about what she has that I don't.
If I'm really gonna go all-in for this Breton bitch, I might as well try and give her what she likes.
I'm not sure if killing her cave mate would come in between us, but hopefully I can just avoid the whole killing and join both of them.
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
I'm a fucking cave mate now.
We have the freakiest sex and my Dovahkiin powers clean up whatever mess we get in to.
Fuck the greybeards, fuck the elder scrolls, fuck the Skyrim Civil War.
I'm spending my entire Dragonborn life on the strange dynamic of this sexy Breton bitch and her "cave mate".
If ANY Orcs try to fuck with her, let me know.
I will shout their ass into literal Oblivion.
Nine help me, I'm busting a nut.
I played Skyrim once. I collapsed from sleep deprivation. When I woke up I was like "holy shit! I'm late for work." I got ready as fast as I could and got to work. Boss grabbed me and took me right into the office. I apoligized for being late. He said "I replaced you a week ago when you vanished for a few days. Where the fuck were you?"
Done trying to post funny skyrim shit but damn I always thought PC players mainly were into mods for the porn.
I have yet to be proven wrong lol.
Like they all just wanna see their big Nord cock fuck up some tight Bosmer pussy...
... I mean me too but hey fuck off.