Some jew is gonna getsoon, whoever gets it predicts 2017
In 2017 Dat Boi will cease coming, and finally arrive
This is my prediction
> 2017 is going to be the year of gimmicks
> That is...
> ...technologies which pretend they're innovative, but are really just stupid marketing shit
> Remember the fucking hoverboard that caught on fire, which wasn't really a hoverboard at all?
> That's the kind of shit we should expect
> And 2017 is just gonna give us a shitload more
> Driverless cars that aren't really driverless
> --- I mean eventually fully autonomous cars are going to happen and it's going to be awesome as fuck
> --- And there are a shitload of driver assistance features that currently exist
> --- But in the in-between stage, some shithead drivers are going to be not paying attention to the wheel because they expect their tesla to do everything for them
> --- There's going to be a really bad, high profile accident
> --- Which will temporarily sway public opinion against driverless cars, even though it was a shithead human's fault completely
> Stupid as fuck wearables
> --- For example, Fitbits that claim they can measure your blood pressure "using sensors and machine learning", even though they actually are just using an accelerometer and some shitty statistics with a wide margin of error
> --- A Facebook plugin that lets you share your heartrate will become popular. It will compare your heartrate to your friends and then pair you up. People who believe in horoscopes will take is as a sign and the shitfest will continue
> --- More "health apps" on smartphones "that use the cloud and advanced technology", which will actually just be a useless as shit service with no useful sensors
> More VR
> --- And I don't mean cool awesome holodeck VR, I mean shit.
> --- VR is making a lot of great progress, and a lot of companies are doing awesome shit
> --- But a lot more companies are going to jump on the ball and output a lot of crap
> --- And people will buy it "because the future is now"
Michelle Obama will become the Führer of the Fourth Reich