I've been thinking a lot about life lately and I've reached the conclusion that shit we do here don't matter at all.
I could be a really good guy or girl and do lots of good shit to get some good karma or I could also be a fucking prick to everyone and don't give a shit about anything and get away with it as well.
I don't believe in fate or in a destiny, even though I've been lead to think that somehow we all have one of the above.
Lately I've been really depressed, maybe because I just realized it doesn't matter that I'm a good husband to my wife, a good brother to my siblings or a good friend.
Everybody surrounding me, my friends and my family may still be naive and think that there is something to life and that we are here for a reason, I don't.
You guys probably think that I've been through a lot, well I haven't. Some casualties, uncle, auntie, niece and cousin, not more than the average joe. I've dealt with sadness, anger, frustration and all the other bullshit feelings you can make up.
I've got a good paying job, my own home that I bought, a nice car and look pretty decent.
So why the fuck am I contemplating that I should take my own life?
Been to therapy a few times, I even got "happy pills" but they just made me feel shittier than I did before.
They do matter, but what if it's my destiny to take my own life? What if my meaning in life is to impact the ones around me so they finally come to a conclusion what to do with their lives? The sorrow that comes from my death, maybe will help them in the longer run.
I'm pretty sure everyone who has ever lived has gone through the same thought process as you. Basically, life is literally a big game. You're right that nothing matters, but humans are designed to enjoy certain things and not enjoy others. Play the game, find out what makes you happy and do that until you die because what else do you have to do?
>>717551744 It's probably hard to believe but a few years ago I was saying exactly this type of shit and feeling either empty or a deep sorrow all the time. You can change the way you think. Right now you are Thinking in terms of "Determinism" which is a huge mistake in my opinion. Me and a lot if other people believe in Free Will which means everything is voluntary and you can do whatever you like. When you do things you love and sincerely want to do you are absolutely able to feel happy in the future. Now you have the knowledge, you have the choice so you can either CHOOSE to stay miserable or you can work toward sincere happiness. For me dancing and good social interaction did the trick.
Also the best thing you can do to help them in the long run is to be a positive role model and influence.
I have enjoyed lots of things during my life, I've been practically around the world, tried a lot of stuff. Never let anything come between me and a good/bad experience. Born and raised within a christian family, didn't let that ruin my view of the world, made friends with a lot of people with different views of life. Found things that make me happy, also found things that made me miserable.
>>717552553 I don't think I've found it yet. I'm just floating around at the moment. I'm in college now, trying not to overthink everything and just be ya know? I don't have stress, I don't worry about much, and I'm just chilling. Shits pretty great. I think if I get bored of what I'm doing I'll just sell all my shit drop out and just travel. Might fuck up my future but at the end of my life the amount of money I make won't matter, what will matter are the experiences I had, so basically everything works out no matter what, you decide if you're happy or not
I understand your point completely. I also believe in free will, do whatever makes you happy, that's pretty much the life rules I've been living after.
I'm 100% different from my family, I'm not like the common man either, I tend always to see a point from all perspectives and then come to a conclusion. I don't judge, I listen and I see.
Maybe my mindset is set in between determinism and free will? I want to fuck 100 different women but at the same time I love my wife to much to do that kind of shit to her. I restrain myself, such as I'm restraining myself from taking my life.
Thats why I've understood, you can be a perfect human, be a role model, be an influence for the ones around you but what's the endgame of playing this game?
Like all of you, when we've beaten a game we look for a new one that's more challenging. I honestly don't know what to do anymore.
I'm very glad for you Anon. We are all humans but we can differ so much, race, language, mindset but in the end we all have one international language what we can communicate through and thats feelings.
Right now my feelings are making me feel empty and tired of everything. I wish you the best of luck.
>>717553834 Thanks man, good luck to you too. Don't kill yourself though that shit is wack, just keep going through life, think happy thoughts, be kind. Also watch trainspotting if you haven't yet, doesn't really have to do with what we're talking about but kind of does. See ya
i used to be a fucking real prick. i cheated, i stole from people, i fucked my friends wives and mothers. i broke into houses of people i knew, and people i didn't know. i was about the lousiest SOB you can imagine. then i turned 20 years old and i got a little better. and things started to get better for me. but i was still an asshole. i got married, but constantly fucked around on my wife. i got so many DUIs that they don't even let me drive anymore. i spent time in jail. i hit rock fucking bottom. but then i met a woman that turned me around. since then, i've been a good person and things have gotten good for me. bottom line, bad things happen to bad people. clean your act up and shit will get better for you.
You've been on a nice trip. I'm happy for you that you are on the right path for you.
However, I haven't done anything to deserve "bad karma". I always try to be there for all of my friends and family. So using your logic shit should already be better for me, so why the fuck do I feel like I do?
not OP, but i'm that SOB, and that's kinda funny. given that, i could rip your fucking throat out and drink your goddamn blood. i told you i'm not a nice person. i'm probably not someone you should shit with. but that was kinda funny
>>717557395 well what has happened to you that you consider bad karma? good karma doesn't necessarily mean that you get rich and marry a model. sometimes it just means that things go even for you. did you have something really shitty happen?
>>717557740 keep in mind that you aren't dead yet. you have a life to live and the evening out may not come right now. it will be over the course of years. but it will occur. some folks get it in a splash, some as a trickle. just like water
>>717557740 the good karma doesn't always come in a certain form.
for instance, i've found a lot of happiness being able to pass on what i've accumulated. i give to many charities, i have rescued many homeless dogs, i've found a lot of them abandoned on the side of the road. my housekeeper has a daughter that is on a music scholarship but it doesn't pay for the basics, and definitely doesn't pay for the instruments. so i gave her a full boat guitar/amp/everything setup for christmas, about a grand worth. hell, i gotta pass it on to someone, nobody else in my family plays. all this makes me happy and i consider this as karma coming back. i had good things happen to me, i pass it on and it makes me happy
>>717558231 everyone has to deal with bad splashes in their own way. the good splashes are no problem, anyone can have a good thing happen since that's just fun. it's the death especially that hits me hard. and when you start to get up in years and you start to lose the people you love, it gets harder and harder. there is no easy way to deal with it. you just have to hunker down, grit your teeth and be a man. that's how i got through my dad and my two best friends dropping dead in front of me. sucks but ....no, it just sucks. you gotta got hard then
Of course, even the smaller things matter as well. As long as you can be there for someone or help people, it will be cherished.
I feel like after my uncle passing, I've become very cynical towards a lot of shit. I feel like I can't trust people anymore, it always feels like people have a hidden agenda, which is very fucked up from my side.
I've manned up so many times last year, I just set aside the feelings and came to an understanding that it was just his time. But now and then the feelings come up and I can't do anything else than to feel sorrow.
>>717558965 i know what you mean. i've never trusted anyone for the most part, so i didn't have far to go to get there. my pop was about the only person i trusted. then i had a friend that was like a 2nd father to me that i worked with for like 25 years, and they both went within months of one another. it's tough, it's bad tough. you have my sympathies. i do understand
my condolences. I think the trust part has to do with a defense mechanism by your subconscious, meaning that you don't want to let anyone more in, because it was already hard losing that person. so you passively don't let anyone into your personal space. I just don't know how to get past that stage.
>>717559654 i don't know that there is anyway to get past it. seriously. it's been 10 years now and i still don't even act the same toward my wife. we're still all cool, but really, that fucked me up kinda bad. i just have to set my mind to not acting like an ass and force myself to be a good person even when i don't want to. i have to think of all the good that i have and i can do, that helps me keep an even keel. i have people that love me for some silly reason. not sure why but they do. so there's the karma again
There is no objective point to life. However we all realise, sooner or later, what the actual fuck we're supposed to do with life. The majority of people already know, the rest are still out there questioning everything.
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