Greetings from the Xolian Empire. I am Kleegharr and I come here as an emissary of Overlord Xondarr, bringing with me a message of peace.
We wish to have an open dialogue with your species, especially in light of certain events in the last 30-40 years. For unknown reasons, thousands of members of our species were transported to your world. Even now they are living among you. We Xolians are shapeshifters, our molecular structure is in a constant state of change, but we believe you may yet be able to recognize members of our species among you. We would very much like to take them back home.
Present any among you that you suspect to be aliens and we will determine their true origins through our superior technology. If we find members of our species among those you selected, you will be bestowed with a great reward.
Hope Emperor Trump removes you moon niggers post haste
Kys fish eyes
We do not understand this query. Is this anus of yours a living creature we might inspect?
Present a sample of your appearance and that shall be determined.
We assumed members of your species were fluent in communication. We have stated our objectives already.
Is this Emperor Trump anything like Overlord Xondarr?
What are these indians?
Where might we find him? What does he look like?
Go home space niggers, you're drunk.
We cannot predict the future. We see the propensity for your "buttsex" being far more problematic.
We are not on your planet. We are in a spacevessel in earth orbit.
Yo, i can take you to my leader, he can give you all the wealth in the world. But i need to pay for tax fees and currently dont have money. Please paypal $500 to 1337dominoe13 at gmail dot cum
What is this wealth? Is it anything like Overlord Xondarr?
Australia. Can you provide an example of what these "aboriginals" look like?
Forgive me, I meant your overall species.
If you do not cease threatening us we will destroy Tokyo again.
What is this fapping? Is it anything like Overlord Xondarr?
Please present a photographic depiction of yourself.
Listen up ayylmaos. Everyone knows you don't exist. Take your bags, god, and unicorns and get the fuck out of my reality.
Scans indicate the subjects in question are nothing more than earthen gorillas.
Overlord Xondarr is our leader, our god, and our example. We seek to be like Overlord Xondarr in all his outward sterility, androgyny, and purity of thought. Overlord Xondarr can be your Overlord too. One day we promise Overlord Xondarr will be Overlord of all. It is the destiny of Overlord Xondarr's greatness.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
We do not understand. We will destroy Tokyo if you do not cease these sonic vibrations.
To serve Overlord Xondarr you must rid yourself of all dimorphic traits and devote yourself to an asexual way of life.
The message has been sent.
>asexual way of life
A DIMORPHIC TRAIT! THIS IS BLASPHEMY AGAINST OVERLORD XONDARR! DO YOU WISH FOR US TO DESTROY TOKYO?
OH FUCK! THE AYYLMAO'S HAVE BEEN TRIGGERED!
>We would very much like to take them back home.
What of those who may not wish to return?
>you will be bestowed with a great reward.
I've no need "emissary Kleegharr".
Your people do not interest me.
Your technology does not appeal to me.
Your wrath does not bring me fear.
Your knowledge situationally is the only currency you truly have to offer me.
Which would cause certain uniformed gentlemen to be knocking at my door in an instant.
Excuse me ayy lmaos. Would we be able to teach you about chambers of gas that make you feel younger?
Our measure of time is different than yours. And time dilation makes it even more difficult. We will take this request to Overlord Xondarr.
We have nothing against your earth cities. We always start with Tokyo.
He has survived our conquest before.
All must be returned to Overlord Xondarr.
The one called Hitler demonstrated the use of these machines for us. They did not interest us.
what is the meaning of life?
What is on the edge of the universe? are there other universes?
How advance would you consider the human race?
What is the most technological thing you ayy lmaos have created?
and what do you think about black people?
Then why have you not eradicated the Jews yet?
We have plentiful niggers to be your slaves, preferably Black Lives Matter, they love working.
Jews are greedy but they enjoy meeting new people so they're good slaves as well, also rich. Please consider the following.
have you ayy lmaos ever encountered a creature that looks like this in the universe?
If you are so insistent and the twin currencies of knowledge & understanding are accepted, I will still need something to even have a chance of assisting you.
How, if your kind are shape-shifters could one of us identify one of you with the greatest of ease?
I'm even willing to find you any I may before asking for my "reward", a courtesy I would not extend to my own species...
>what is the meaning of life?
To be like Overlord Xondarr
>What is on the edge of the universe? are there other universes?
The universe exists inside an infinite cheesewheel owned by the beginning Rogarr who refuses to eat it. He has not replied to our communications. We have seen other cheesewheels in his possession. It is possible they contain Xolians as well.
>How advance would you consider the human race?
Forgive me, but we do not understand the question.
>What is the most technological thing you ayy lmaos have created?
>and what do you think about black people?
What are these black people?
Then we shall utilize them on the people of Tokyo.
Niggers? What are these niggers?
And we are aware of the Jews. We do not consider them "our problem".
This image appears to be one of the children of Xondarr. How did you acquire this?
We requested your help in order to begin a peace with your people. We believed that a reward would further excite you. We will not alter our agreement.
This word continues to confuse us.
All hail the great Overlord Xondarr, may he make the Xolian Empire great again!