b/ i feel dead inside wat do? wat helps?

>>717451819
Been to hell and back OP
Still don't know.

>>717451819
You can talk to me while the thread is up though

>>717451819
I'm 36 and still haven't figured this out. If you get an answer before I do, come back to /b/ and tell us.

>>717451819
Best of luck OP.
It truly changes.

>>717452429
I hope everything changes in a good way for you

>>717453398
when does it change?

>>717452510
I'm not sure whats wrong with me it feels like i'm missing something in life

>>717452510
I see these religious people and feel like i'm missing out on something. How can people love a God this much? How do they know that it even exists? Does love feel different when you're religious?

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106KB, 780x918px

Be a man and end it! Gay nigger

>>717453936
How should i do it? Don't want my fiancée to have to deal with the mess?

>>717453890
It sounds pretty confusing for you right now.
In my experience, yeah. When you're religious you often put god before everything. A lot of people do anyway. Have you ever considered believing in god yourself? Do you feel as if it would help you in any way or answer or open up some of these questions you have?

>>717453936
wouldn't be a 4chan thread without "Kill urself op u gay nigger"

>>717454083
I don't think so honestly i think i hold a grudge against "God" for all the abuse i went through when i was younger. I don't feel like i can believe in a higher power that would allow any kind of suffering, theres no answers to a lot of questions i have and science seems to be able to answer a lot of them. I just feel like maybe i'm missing something in life

>>717454298
Sounds like I have a similar story to you. Have you tried LSD? It helped me know a lot of shit in life and calm down a lot of things going on in my life and the thoughts in my head.

>>717454419
No i haven't i'm in a pain management clinic that drug tests me, is that any way to pass a drug test every 3 months with doing LSD?

>>717454574
LSD is out of your system within 24 hours and most tests don't even test for it anyway. You're basically 100% cool there.

Anon you're replying to is a retard though. Psychedelic drugs don't magically fix people with mental issues. In a lot of cases they can make them worse. That said, though, there's only one way to find out.

>>717454574
I can't remember the specific ways but yeah, there are. Head over to r/LSD and r/ASKDRUGS to find out (I know, I know, reddit, but there's shit tons of information there. Errowid has good info about it all too)

>>717451819
I've been there. Even had that awful scary dead look in my eyes for quite some time. At my lowest point I was smoking a lot of weed to distract my mind from all the dark thoughts, but being a stoned took my self-confidence to an all time low.

Then one day it all turned around, simply by a change of mentality. I started looking at everything more positively, started smiling and laughing A LOT. Even though they were more or less fake forced laughs, it started making me happy. Started enjoying small things like having a walk on the beach or in a forest, looking at the plants and little insects being amazing. I know it sounds very hippie but sitting in a concrete cube all day just isn't good for your mental health. Started to be more kind to everyone and especially my friends, basically creating my own positive pink cloud to stick my head in (still realistic about things, but stopped paying too much attention to the negativities). And of course stopped smoking weed which made me look and feel a lot less dreadful.

My mood slowly kept increasing for a couple of years and now I believe I'm at an all time high. Now I'm a very satisfied person with a group of amazing friends. Not being too materialistic helps too, spend more on having a good time than on expensive goods. The last problem was that I still didn't have a job, like the many years before. Recently I found a job at an amazing food company via a new friend that works there, and the people there are now like family to me. I'm having a blast.

Maybe it's totally different for you, but I hope at least that my story has given you some insights.

>>717451819
can relate

>>717454790
Oh, totally agreed. However it helped me and a few other people I know get over a load of trauma from our upbringings.

>>717454926
I have heard that faking a smile can bring actual happiness, i'll try this route! Good for you about your life changing and congrats on the new job

>>717455044
How exactly did it help? did you relive it while rolling?

>>717455005
I actually wanted to off myself once because of that. The closest thing I did though was that I took a picture of the place where I wanted to do it.

Cheer up OP. There's a lot more to see, don't end it just yet.

>>717455108
Thanks bro, and the best of luck! Just telling you that you can climb up from even the lowest point if you change your way of thinking. It's a negative spiral you have to get out of. Faking smiles did help, it affects people around you too and they'll be more cheerful being in your company.

>>717455172
My mother's BPD and my father is Narcissistic. on 180ug it allowed me to feel a lot of the pain they never let me feel, and it started breaking down a lot of the beliefs I held on myself that where wrong (Enforced by my parents as a way of manipulation) and I got to relive a bit of it.
On 400ug I got to experience what it was like to not have any of those traumas and manipulation tactics controlling my life. Coming down I felt like I had learnt my lesson and can now largely control the control they once had over me. I can feel happiness and love without feeling stupid levels of guiltiness now.

>>717455497
How do you make non toxic friends?

I find eating jam toasties with a cuppa tea makes me feel better OP.

Also consider the following;
You can literally do whatever the fuck you want in life.

>>717455780
Is there any way not to go on a bad trip?

>>717455978
I want to do Youtube and become a big youtuber but i don't know how the fuck to talk to a camera like it's a person also jamie toast is so good

>>717456210

Got a camera? Start filming yourself, even if you delete a video 100 times before you find one you're happy to upload it'll be a learning experience what with the editing.

>>717456139
Sometimes you will go on a bad trip sometimes you won't.

It's all about safety if things do start to go south.

A trip sitter is absolutely essential if you don't have much experience with psyches (Even then in most cases experienced trippers will too). Preferably

Set and setting and real important too. What you see can greatly impact on how you feel, so make sure you're somewhere that you like, with things around you that you might want (Water's good, fruits are absolutely insanely beautiful on LSD).

Music will take you away to other places.

The best piece of advice I could give you is to practise mindful meditation. Being aware of your thoughts and how to control them and all. If you do this meditation regularly you can direct the way your trip goes a lot easier than someone who doesn't meditate. It can also pull you out of a bad trip. However if things do really go south and it's a bad trip for sure, you just have to have a way to remind yourself that it's just the drugs and you'll be fine in a few hours.
Oh yeah, you can also take anti-psychotics as they'll negate the trip and you will return to almost sober again (DO NOT DRIVE FOR ANOTHER 12 HOURS OR OPERATE MACHINERY IN THIS TIME THOUGH). Just make sure to research the kind of drug it is that negates the LSD. Any drugnerds on here that remember the name of it?

>>717456917
I'm trying to learn how to get adobe, shit is expensive

>>717456921
Meditation sounds like a good way to go, hey thanks for being genuine and not being a 4fag. I appreciate it and wish you nothing but happiness. How does LSD effect PTSD?

>>717457244
No wurries homie :)

Well unfortunately we don't exactly how it can help because of Nixons little war on drugs that pushed scientific research back decades, but my friend who has PTSD said it helped her (She's tripped 4 times).
I found these two links off the top of my head about the healing factors of LSD and MDMA.
https://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=9813
https://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=81957
God fucking damn Nixon.

Ah shit wrong link on the second one there, sorry anon. Do some digging around on youtube and reddit though, there's a wealth of information out there about it

>>717457244
Wish you all the happiness in the world dude. Your existence is a valuable thing.

>>717455802
I don't know, it's kind of like a chain reaction. Chill people attracting more chill people. I always kind of filtered them down to only the ones I felt a strong connection to. Then there's a much larger group of friends, but more the kind that I only see from time to time and it's always a blast with them, but they just don't have that best friend click. I don't have any toxic friends in these circles because I just kept everyone I didn't feel comfortable with at a distance. I think you should be open to everyone, but pick your friends with great care.

>>717458364
This.
The wrong friends can drag you to places in life you shouldn't be.

>>717451819
You could kys, hence become also dead on the outside.

>>717457124

There are working torrents of all programs online bud

>>717459095
How do you torrent and not download a virus?

>>717458921
Working on it bud

>>717458802
I'm a loner so i guess i'll try to get new friends

>>717459216

One of the great mysteries of the world, I jus pirate proxy the link and use u torrent then hope for the best.

I've yet to get a virus that I couldn't manage though, and I have herpes.

>>717459414
good lcuk with the herps utorrent is good?

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955KB, 360x360px

>>717459493

Works for me and has done for years, I'm not the most savvy at torrenting and whatnot.

>>717451819
Volunteer. Sounds trite, but it works.

>>717451819
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>>717459375
I really wouldn't know how to actively find friends, but in accordance with the whole more smiling and being more kind thing, I believe it will just happen. Deep inside I'm a loner too, but at the same time I'm just open and kind to people and it creates bonds automatically.

>>717451819

fapping dude... fapping

>>717460505
....Just fap?

>>717460680
fap on acid.
best orgasms ever
literally mind blowing

>>717462007

2nd this

>>717462007
>>717463016
I fapped on acid once just for the hell of it. I couldn't really get into it. I finished and got my nut anyway but it was pretty meh.