>>717428193 >suffer through college and finish your degree >don't take life so seriously because it's pointless >stop being an autistic spurglord all the time >don't worry about making friends because they'll all leave you at some point >don't obsess over girls in high school because you find our you're a fan got in college >you'll never outgrow your dogs
Have Claudia as friend with extras just don't fall in love with her and know when to stop
Don't ever let go of Rebecca, she could be the one if you don't mess up like I did
You'll meet alcohol at the age of 15, get wasted a few times but don't use it as a tool of escapism and learn the limit, if you don't you'll regret it by the time you come close to 18
Eat less & healthier and take a better care of your dental hygiene. Don't hesitate to start working out - it'll have great results.
At 14, you'll begin to have a crippling depression because of losing someone who meant the world for you. Take your time for grief, make a sacred place for her in your heart, but don't let it ruin your life. Don't worry, you'll never forget her and what she meant to you.
Stay strong and be victorius, kid. You are more important than you think you are.
>>717428193 Turn the computer off and pick up the guitar. You're more handsome than you think, so use that gift and ignore your self-doubt. Don't move from video games to fruit machines. Save up. I know your future wife is a frigid, moaning, unromantic cunt, but she gives you your daughter, who is the single most wonderful person you'll ever meet. So you'll have to endure the pain of a loveless marriage, but get laid as much as you can before you're 20. Try that Lucie girl, she's a fucking slut.
>>717431506 This. Was working the door at club, guy shows up with like 10 other guys. They were sandniggers/little brown dudes and they were in these robes and sandals, which is against club dress code (nice shoes, polished, decent pants, no jeans). I told them they couldn't get in. Lead guy starts throwing shit around, gets all religious, screaming about how it is his fathers house.
Turns out it was Jesus and a good friend of the owners. Got chewed out 3 times, let go later the next day.
>>717428193 1) Don't fall in love so easily, it will cause you more problems than it will solve anything.
2) Take schoolwork seriously, develop different ways of studying and utilize every resource you can. Don't be afraid of asking for help you prideful shit.
3) Get a job early on so you can get that temper of yours under check. People will piss you off, and the sooner you get this shitstorm out of the way, the more motivation you will have to not have to deal with the shit jobs.
>>717432085 No. But then I don't want to be. I just want to strum out a few things, and having lived in this timeline where I'm pretty fucking good at computer games, but my soul is empty, the advice is to try the alternate timeline.
Not everyone who wants to play an instrument wants to be a rock god. What are you fucking 12?
Learn to speak your mind earlier. Also, don't wait til senior year to start working out, and act like you know you can get pussy. At 19, Do not leave your girlfriend's dorm to have drunk fun with your friend; you'll end up with a felony.... stay in and shag that thang. At 24, Do not consider the abortion, you're going to feel guilty about it every time you look at that magnificent little bastard.
>>717428193 At 12 or 13 years old your parents will get into arguments that turn into shouting matches at least once every 1-2 weeks. Calmly tell them to sort this out as they will vent their hatred for each other out on you. It will fuck you up. You will hate yourself and have major depression
If they are unable to get their shit together still, the moment they have finished helping you move your shit into college tell them to fuck off and never visit them again. Your relationship with them never improves. It's just not as loud and shout-ee any more
Don't fall for the computer science major meme
Don't join the military either
You don't have to do sports, but do work out
Stop worrying about your acne. It is bad, I know, but most of it clears up sophomore year whenever you actually take care of your face. It's gone forever at 21
>>717428193 Women (whether feminist labeled or not) typically see men as disposable utilities to extract benefits from, or a meal ticket or an emotional tampon. They behave like materialistic children who never grow up, throw tantrums, constantly need emotional support and verbal reassurance, have no concept (or need cause meh vagina!) of loyalty, gratitude, sacrifice, patience or humor. They have a manipulative nature, they cannot give with one hand without taking with another, sending mixed messages, playing mind games and taking everything personally. They’re artificial, overly dramatic and require material props to have the same inner-existence men enjoy. What is being independent and alone to a woman? That is the opposite of womanhood. The only connection women have to the world is their vagina, and most of them don’t know how to fuck and just lay there like a corpse, and once the sex gets boring, they cannot cook or clean and are literally good for nothing. I’ve got better things to do than be bothered with all of that shit. https://vimeo.com/94799016 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9W6wvHSMmzY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vp8tToFv-bA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5OnPJoZG8A https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQfBt_GxYaI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eCX2bKH7S8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsTt1_Wqwm0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zr162OZ2Z0w https://www.youtube.com/user/barbarossaaaa https://www.youtube.com/user/JockeVXO/videos https://www.youtube.com/user/Stardusk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1Ss1qyDiKY TL;DR = Realize women can only offer you pussy, and it’s not worth the work (and risk!) when you can jack off to kinky porn she’d never do and save your money. Learn to enjoy hobbies.
Enjoy the time you had killing the neighborhood animals and don't be scared of what you become, it eventually leads to an amazing experience of killing a young Australian boy that made the headlines. It's still funny having his bones buried in your garden only a few houses from the parents.
>>717428193 hey it's me from the future! Yes for real I finally came you see? You didn't want to believe time travel was possible, well it actually is!
Now here is my advice : you remember that time the grill you liked asked you to kiss her in order for all her orbiters to leave, well this was a FUCKING HINT YOU STUPID RETARD NOW GO GET HER YOU STUPID LITTLE WEEABOO SHIT NO YOU WILL NEVER LIVE IN THE NARUTO WORLD FUCK OFF AND GO GET HER CUNT OMG WTF ARE YOU DOING YOU STUPID FAG
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