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What advice would you give today to 12 years old you /b/?

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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 93
Thread images: 11

What advice would you give today to 12 years old you /b/?
>>
>>717428193
go to college
>>
don't fuck hookers, there is enough free sluts out there
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>>717428193
I have more of a question
What is it like knowing you are part of generation retard?
>>
>>717428193
Stay on the floor out there and die. Your life never becomes worth living after that.
>>
>>717428193
Kil yourself or maybe don't, life just get worst with age but you learn to accept shit so it gets relatively easy.
>>
Continue with your hacking hobby, of course staying out of trouble
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>>717428193
Nothing. I wouldn't listen anyway.
>>
>>717428193
I would tell myself to visit Germany, it was less of a caliphate back then.
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>>717428713
wise words anon
>>
go outside
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Sleep naked and don't procrastinate
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don't fall in love with mary kathleen gartshore, she runs away after highschool and moves to the nwt.
>>
>>717428193
Don t fuck her life up by drinking and talking shit in that night, destroying her relationship with friends and family, she fucking loves you more than anything else
>>
>>717428193
See a psychologist. Something isn't right here.
>>
>>717428193
Don't quit your bread delivery job. Your boss will blacklist you as lazy and no one will hire you anymore and you won't have any money to do fun stuff in highschool
>>
>>717428193
Dont give your 12 year old Self advice or youll cause a rift in the space time continuum that will destroy the entire...oh shit my bad
>>
Save your money
Study more
Read books
Work out
Eat better
Fuck bitches
>>
You're definitely gay dude. Work hard, don't be afraid of failure, push yourself to try new things, you're gonna do just fine.
>>
enjoy as much young pussy as you possibly can. relationships are for after college.
>>
>>717429680
tell us your story chum
>>
You really don't matter to anyone, including our parents. You'll actually be much happier once you accept this.
>>
>>717428193
I'd have to give advice to 12 years old me 20 years ago when I was 12 or else I'm just talking to myself.
>>
stay single and live the way YOU want. That woman you might marry will control your life and make you hate living.
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>>717429680
Im curious to know how old they are
particularly the fap watcher
>>
Blijf bij Lisbeth :(
>>
>>717428193
>lose some fucking weight now dont wait till you're 16

>if you meet a girl called Lea in 10th grade dont break up with her she's a keeper (at least for half a year or something)

>NEVER mess around with a chick called Mirella she's a bitch and will ruin one of your friendships
>>
>>717430374
I wanted more info too... sadly his post is gone and he likely is too
>>
Stop masturbating. Work out. Trust no one. Save your money.
>>
>>717428193
that little shit wasnt good at listening.

i'd tie him down and cut his balls off.
>>
DO NOT GO TO ANY SLIP KNOT CONCERTS
>>
>>717428193
avoid 4chan
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>>717430713
>dat paradox
>>
>>717428193
I would take down lotto numbers for next week and pass them down.

I would also tell him that Trump becomes president in 2016, and to stick with his first GF coz no one was quite as good as her.
>>
>>717428193
>suffer through college and finish your degree
>don't take life so seriously because it's pointless
>stop being an autistic spurglord all the time
>don't worry about making friends because they'll all leave you at some point
>don't obsess over girls in high school because you find our you're a fan got in college
>you'll never outgrow your dogs
>>
>>717431021
>fan got

thanks faggot phone
>>
I'd kill him
>>
>>717428193
Don't find solace at the end of a bottle for issues that were going to arise, otherwise have fun, don't be afraid to rub people the wrong way because it's funnier that way.
>>
Never deny Christ, you will become a poor excuse of a man.
>>
Have Claudia as friend with extras just don't fall in love with her and know when to stop

Don't ever let go of Rebecca, she could be the one if you don't mess up like I did

You'll meet alcohol at the age of 15, get wasted a few times but don't use it as a tool of escapism and learn the limit, if you don't you'll regret it by the time you come close to 18

Eat less & healthier and take a better care of your dental hygiene. Don't hesitate to start working out - it'll have great results.

At 14, you'll begin to have a crippling depression because of losing someone who meant the world for you. Take your time for grief, make a sacred place for her in your heart, but don't let it ruin your life. Don't worry, you'll never forget her and what she meant to you.

Stay strong and be victorius, kid. You are more important than you think you are.
>>
>>717428193
Tell him that I have cool toy in the back room, and to put a blindfold and ball gag on.
>>
>>717428193
Turn the computer off and pick up the guitar.
You're more handsome than you think, so use that gift and ignore your self-doubt.
Don't move from video games to fruit machines.
Save up.
I know your future wife is a frigid, moaning, unromantic cunt, but she gives you your daughter, who is the single most wonderful person you'll ever meet. So you'll have to endure the pain of a loveless marriage, but get laid as much as you can before you're 20. Try that Lucie girl, she's a fucking slut.
>>
Stop playing runescape and go outside you stupid shithead.
>>
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Holy fuck what a way to start 2017....go leak your sister or ex gf today lol - snap-leak-cf
>>
>>717431977
im sure in some alternate dimension you're some famous millionaire guitarist, stupid faggot.
>>
>>717431506
This. Was working the door at club, guy shows up with like 10 other guys. They were sandniggers/little brown dudes and they were in these robes and sandals, which is against club dress code (nice shoes, polished, decent pants, no jeans). I told them they couldn't get in. Lead guy starts throwing shit around, gets all religious, screaming about how it is his fathers house.

Turns out it was Jesus and a good friend of the owners. Got chewed out 3 times, let go later the next day.
>>
>>717428193
1) Don't fall in love so easily, it will cause you more problems than it will solve anything.

2) Take schoolwork seriously, develop different ways of studying and utilize every resource you can. Don't be afraid of asking for help you prideful shit.

3) Get a job early on so you can get that temper of yours under check. People will piss you off, and the sooner you get this shitstorm out of the way, the more motivation you will have to not have to deal with the shit jobs.
>>
Go to college

do weed with my friend (becaues i was too chicken shit to get caught)

have the understanding that women are only sex objects and nothing else.

being rich and never ever give a fuck.

remember to fix the outside gate so your dog doesnt get out and kill itself by being ran over.

>>faggot 12 year old me was a faggot
>>
>>717432085
No. But then I don't want to be. I just want to strum out a few things, and having lived in this timeline where I'm pretty fucking good at computer games, but my soul is empty, the advice is to try the alternate timeline.

Not everyone who wants to play an instrument wants to be a rock god. What are you fucking 12?
>>
Hey kid. I'm you from the fu-

Then I would cease to exist because I violated the basic non-interference principle of time travel.
>>
>>717432243
how about you spend 30 minutes a day practicing your gay instrument instead of bitching about your wife online.
>>
Stop being such an autist and fuck Klara already
And invest all your money in bitcoin, you'll be, set for life
>>
>>717432237
Just move to a Muslim country anon, you'll never have to worry about women being people, or dogs again. And you can chill with your rich friends and smoke weed all day.
>>
>>717428193
Never believe that your dad is a proctologyst.
(docter who's study's assholes)
>>
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On November 30th 2016 under no circumstances should you get in your motorcycle. Someone will short stop on you and you will total it.
>>
>>717428193
kys fgt
>>
Learn to speak your mind earlier. Also, don't wait til senior year to start working out, and act like you know you can get pussy. At 19, Do not leave your girlfriend's dorm to have drunk fun with your friend; you'll end up with a felony.... stay in and shag that thang. At 24, Do not consider the abortion, you're going to feel guilty about it every time you look at that magnificent little bastard.
>>
>>717428193
in 2 years, Emma's going to ask you to put your finger up her vagina

Dude, she'll be 6. Don't do it, it'll fuck you up, trust me

still, pussy is pussy. Whatever
>>
>>717432490
That sucks...

Seems to me you could have avoided it by driving a car, instead of a loud annoying douchebagmobile.

Maybe the advice should be to trade in your "i'm extreme!" lifestyle totem for something more sensible. Like a Nissan Stanza or an Accord.
>>
>>717432753
Amen to this. Kids have no idea what they want. Put your dick in instead.
>>
sell yourself on the internet, buy bitcoins, invest in google and facebook, apple. microsoft
>>
>>717428193

don't go for online porn, just use your fucking imagination or get laid.

>fuckinghentaigames
>>
>>717432819
I was 14 and underdeveloped. It probably would have fit. She didn;t have a hymen so it would have been easy
>>
>>717432969
It's ok, we started fucking properly when she turned 13
>>
>>717432827
Bad advice. Everyone who bought Facebook shares from IPO (they were already gigantic) lost their ass. I am fine with the others.
>>
>>717428193
At 12 or 13 years old your parents will get into arguments that turn into shouting matches at least once every 1-2 weeks. Calmly tell them to sort this out as they will vent their hatred for each other out on you. It will fuck you up. You will hate yourself and have major depression

If they are unable to get their shit together still, the moment they have finished helping you move your shit into college tell them to fuck off and never visit them again. Your relationship with them never improves. It's just not as loud and shout-ee any more

Don't fall for the computer science major meme

Don't join the military either

You don't have to do sports, but do work out

Stop worrying about your acne. It is bad, I know, but most of it clears up sophomore year whenever you actually take care of your face. It's gone forever at 21

Pursue a relationship with Conner or Mariah
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>>717428193
Women (whether feminist labeled or not) typically see men as disposable utilities to extract benefits from, or a meal ticket or an emotional tampon. They behave like materialistic children who never grow up, throw tantrums, constantly need emotional support and verbal reassurance, have no concept (or need cause meh vagina!) of loyalty, gratitude, sacrifice, patience or humor. They have a manipulative nature, they cannot give with one hand without taking with another, sending mixed messages, playing mind games and taking everything personally. They’re artificial, overly dramatic and require material props to have the same inner-existence men enjoy. What is being independent and alone to a woman? That is the opposite of womanhood. The only connection women have to the world is their vagina, and most of them don’t know how to fuck and just lay there like a corpse, and once the sex gets boring, they cannot cook or clean and are literally good for nothing. I’ve got better things to do than be bothered with all of that shit.
https://vimeo.com/94799016
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9W6wvHSMmzY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vp8tToFv-bA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5OnPJoZG8A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQfBt_GxYaI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eCX2bKH7S8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsTt1_Wqwm0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zr162OZ2Z0w
https://www.youtube.com/user/barbarossaaaa
https://www.youtube.com/user/JockeVXO/videos
https://www.youtube.com/user/Stardusk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1Ss1qyDiKY
TL;DR = Realize women can only offer you pussy, and it’s not worth the work (and risk!) when you can jack off to kinky porn she’d never do and save your money. Learn to enjoy hobbies.
>>
>>717433727
Cool story, bro
>>
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>>717433945
Another
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>>717428834
>sleep naked
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>>717428193
Kill them all
>>
Enjoy the time you had killing the neighborhood animals and don't be scared of what you become, it eventually leads to an amazing experience of killing a young Australian boy that made the headlines. It's still funny having his bones buried in your garden only a few houses from the parents.
>>
>>717434481
So that's a message to the future, is it?
>>
>>717434815
William Tyrrell, my friend. William Tyrrell.
>>
>>717428193
Stop jacking off so much.
>>
Stay away from /b/
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>>717428412
12 is too young for college I guess
>>
>>717428193
Take hormones
>>
>>717428193
Do not get married
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>>717435312
ayyyyyyyyy fam
>>
>>717428193
kill yourself now
>>
>>717428193
Do drugs sooner
>ease the pain
>>
>>717431693
dude you're lucky you let go of rebecca, have you checked her facebook lately holyyyyyyy shit
>>
>>717428193
hey it's me from the future! Yes for real I finally came you see? You didn't want to believe time travel was possible, well it actually is!

Now here is my advice : you remember that time the grill you liked asked you to kiss her in order for all her orbiters to leave, well this was a FUCKING HINT YOU STUPID RETARD NOW GO GET HER YOU STUPID LITTLE WEEABOO SHIT NO YOU WILL NEVER LIVE IN THE NARUTO WORLD FUCK OFF AND GO GET HER CUNT OMG WTF ARE YOU DOING YOU STUPID FAG
>>
>>717428193
Just tell him you like him already, it turns out he was bi all along, it might work out.
>>
>>717437362
.......you're going to tell 12 year old you that you like him?

jesus /b/, even for you..
>>
>>717428193
run away from home
become a prostitute
transition early
live a happier life in the long run
>>
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>>717437458
No, tell my childhood crush I liked him
>>
>>717428193
It's not going to get better kid , end yourself now that you don't have any responsabilities yet.
>>
>>717428193
Kick ass in school though it bores you.
Learn social skills.
Don't wait to join the Air Force.

Otherwise, it's all bretty good.
>>
>>717428193
Lose weight and l2p you're shit at games you damn scrub.
>>
2 years from now you're going to meet a 28 year old at the mall.

2 months after that, you should definitely move in with her.

i know it seems weird, but trust me on this one.
Thread posts: 93
Thread images: 11



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