Just lonely. My whole family knows it. Everyone I asked to hangout with on new year's eve was busy or didn't answer and only one person wished my happy New Years then didn't answer. I'm just a burden on mu family by this point. My sister even makes comments about how I'm going to go crazy and kill the whole family. I don't even like hurting people. I only think about killing myself. Even people who treat me like garbage I just brush off.
>>717277063 Sounds similar to my night. Just got back from a small family gathering of a few close family friends, and the only people I knew were talking the whole time about the party they were going to afterward. Tried desperately to find a party, but there were none to be had: all my friends were busy, just like you.
It hasn't exactly been a wonderful holiday season this year. Here's to a better 2017.
>>717277367 Christmas wasn't too bad I got a Gretzky Jersey but other then that no one what's anything to do with me except my parents but I just feel like I'm a disappointment.sorry you're alone too bud atleast you went to a family gathering and got out of the house though. I bet 2017 will be good to you
So, Ive been talking to this girl for about a month or two, everythings been going alright. But today i found some tweets talking shit about (probably) me. Like indirects and stuff. Am I freaking out? Were those tweets meant to be for antoher person? Idk what to do Sorry if this post doesnt make sense, im drunk
>>717278649 I'm not sure, anon. I myself have been feeling very paranoid lately. I'll concoct grand delusions of victimhood in my head in which people I love are lying to me or platting my downfall, and I'll tell myself that I'm probably just being paranoid, but I'll still believe it. And just to ice the cake, these delusions then become reality.
Sorry, I didn't mean to make this about me. All I can say is that it's sometimes good to be paranoid, because at least if you assume the worst then you'll never be let down.
>>717279017 Yeah, I feel the same. Whenevers she talks shit about someone without saying his name I start freaking out and asociating what she said with what i do. I think i sort of love her and im always thinking if she hates me or nah
>>717279577 I've been criticized for saying this too much in the past, but I do think you should talk to her. If it worries you so much, it would probably be good for you to simply ask about it. Clear up any misunderstanding.
I do think it pretty immature of people to talk shit about someone behind their back. If you have a quarrel with someone, say it to their face, don't pretend to like them and then shit on them when they aren't looking. That's just low, and pretty childish at the same time.
>>717279911 Maybe you are right. I should talk to her. But im afraid. Theres a part of me that believes im just being paranoic, and that she likes me and she will stop talking to me if i confront her. Im really confused And thanks anon, this talk is really working up
>>717280683 probably money has to do with it. I still live with my parents and right now were going through a rough time with money and such, and I don't also want to tell them i'm depressed, making our money situation possibly worse
>>717280683 I am scared of people treating me even worse if they discover that i am depressed. People already treat me like shit at my job and the last thing i need in my life is more shit. Sorry for ranting, have a good day everybody. May we all find happiness one day.
live in a new state, at a new school, working a new job. i know no one within a 40 mile radius. Ive gotten drinks with my coworkers twice now, but feel like its impossible to infiltrate their friend group. i've felt alone even when I'm not for years now, and im afraid it wont ever go away. and I'm not suicidal, just numb and pessimistic with my future.
great smiths song, this one speaks to me more than any: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iey0VOhxV2Y
with each passing day "i can feel the soil falling over my head" but theres nothing i can do to stop it.
>>717280686 I'm not sure anymore. Some days I'm hopeful about the future, some days I border on having a panic attack about it. Why, what's eating you, anon?
>>717280768 Well you don't need to confront her about it. Don't be afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve, even if it may be seen by some as a badge of weakness. I'm sure that if you tell her how much you worry that she may be referring to you, and that you'd gladly try to improve your ways if she wanted, she wouldn't think any worse of you. In fact, it's likely she would think more highly of you for simply having talked to her about it. But that's just my unqualified thoughts on the matter.
>>717281043 I can imagine that, yeah. Sorry to hear it, anon. If there's any light at the end of the tunnel, it's that financial troubles rarely last forever. Besides, while I certainly don't know much about it, I think there may be options for free help online, though it's mostly just a friendly voice to talk to from what I've heard.
>>717281194 It's alright, anon. We're here for you. We're always here for you.
>>717281432 If there was ever a place for ranting, this is it. Don't worry yourself, anon. I know how you feel about not wanting to let anyone know, but you don't really have to tell anyone. Patient confidentiality is a wonderful thing,
i dropped of uni after two years of wasting my time there. sat on my ass for 5 or 6 months then decided to start fresh with a new major. applied for a visa to germany and it has been 3 months and they did not respond yet. deep in the whole shit i met a girl and she was nice and shit. then she fucked me up mentally even more. now i don't even think of being in contact with humans outside my house unless on the internet. constant problems with the family because i am not doing anything with my "pointless pathetic" life and i am being too much of a burden on them. after all the shit with the girl i lost all my friends and now i am all alone. i developed serious social anxiety and mixed with my bipolar depression disorder shit got ugly. now i am just sitting waiting for death to come claim my lazy ass butt. here is to another boring year of my ever eternal boring and pointless life.
imo, dont say anything. anything will sound like an accusation.
theres only 3 ways onwards: 1. say nothing, hope its gets better 2. say something be basically gaurenteed it will blow up in your face 3. end it yourself. if you are sensing a problem there almost certainly is. just say you dont feel the same anymore (becasue you dont, its just that you know the relationship is burning out and are now trying to cling on even harder, making it go even fast)
id honestly say 3 is the best bet. dont be cruel, dont be accusatory. if anything it will help her revaluate your relationship, and could very well to her gaining stronger feelings you could act on down the line.
bottom line, your relationship for the time being is over man, youve sensed somthings wron. your not stupid, sommething obviously is
>>717281689 Damn, that's no joke, anon. I'm sorry to hear that. All of it. But hey, if there's any silver lining, it's that you may end up going to Germany soon! That's pretty good. I always look at moving as a fresh start. Nobody can judge you based on your past actions, all they have to get to know you is what you do here and now. Your fate is completely and totally in your own hands.
>>717281532 Hey, are you the same anon that was posting the Smiths music in a previous thread? If so, I listened to all the songs. Top-tier, dude. Nice picks.
Well I'm kinda da in a fucked situation, I've lost my car and have almost no money due to my job stiffing me on hours and they will probably fire me if I press them to hard about it. I'll probably end up in jail due to the fact that I have to pay fines to the straw due to traffic sitations and or. Be homeless when I can't pay my rent and I have no social security card or ID becuase I lost them so I can't get better work and that means I'm either stuck with this fucking job until they fire me or I quit. So I'll probably end it soon seeing as my options are homelessnes and jail, but yah everythings great.
>>717282407 Well talking to a professional doesn't have to be all "woe is me" and all that pretentious BS. You can be as objective and sincere as you need to be. My approach is to figure out exactly what the issues are so that they can be effectively treated, and in order to do that the professional you talk to will ask you specific questions rather than listen to you vent about lost loves and things like this.
>>717282232 until two months ago, i was so fucking excited for this new experience. now the only thing that is forcing me to do it is that i am a useless cunt to my parents and i have been a burden for enough time. maybe if i go away and they forget about me somehow life would become easier. also i am torn between fucking that girl's life or just leaving it be because this is the thing that has been on my mind for a while. no one likes being used and people always have friendship/relationship problems. but it sucks so much when you are used as a rebound then you get replaced. it is just the betrayal that is killing me. sorry for being a ranting fuck. hope you have a good day ))
>>717282883 >also i am torn between fucking that girl's life or just leaving it be because this is the thing that has been on my mind for a while I would highly recommend you check out a movie called "Everything Must Go". It's a Will Ferrell movie, but it's far from a comedy. In fact, it's actually a fantastic feels movie. But there's a message in there I think would help you out.
revenge isnt the answer man. honestly just forgive her and move on. everyone goes through shit and wrongs people, pretty girls included. were all just stumbling around blind in the dark till we sleep forever
as painful as it is the only thing that can give you solace is acceptance and growth from within
i feel like I am broken, that I don't matter to anyone around me, I don't wanna do anything anymore and just stay late in my room listening music, every girl i cared for just turns out to be exactly like any other slut, can;t keep a stable relationship and I don't feel like trying anymore
>>717283460 Don't worry about "everyone else", nobody else has to know. It's as simple as not telling anybody. And don't worry about the drug situation either: drugs are best used as a LAST resort, not a first one. There are non-drug solutions to these problems more often than not. Believe it or not, it can even be as simple as more sleep sometimes, or even eating more red meat. I'm dead serious.
>>717283207 not trying to justify the idea of me destroying her mentally or her life, but it sucks being treated like utter shit when you have been nothing but good, caring and supportive to someone. also i am looking at it from the perspective of: if i do not teach her a lesson now after doing that to me she will do it to someone else. "karma" does not work unless you put it in action. i am generally a calm and caring person. haven't had a fight or even hit someone in like 7 or 8 years. not because i can't but because i choose not to. but to take advantage of someone being nice and using them is fucked up on so many levels and no one should experience that. that is my point of view. do you see stuff from my angle? it is always good to see that someone, even anon, cares. thanks man.
>>717283674 Maybe it's just your outlook that needs adjustment. Take my advice with a grain of salt, as I'm certainly not any sort of expert, but I have talked to a lot of people who have their priorities surrounding relationships all mixed up. They see relationships as a sort of end goal, when in my mind the true end goal is happiness. One of the best roads to happiness is being with people who make you happy, and that includes relationships.
>>717283856 The Paradoxical Commandments - Dr. Kent M. Kieth Check that shit out. These are words I've tried to live by lately. It's not optimistic, not pessimistic, but realistic. And it's perfect.
naw man you got it twisted tho. you dont want to teach her a lesson. you want her to hurt, to feel an ounce of the pain she made you feel, even just for the second.
but ask yourself this? did you love her? truly? if yes, then you wouldn't want to hurt he, no matter how things were left. if no, then your worked up over something you shouldnt be, and itd be best to realize you should just move on.
and i do understand. i dated a girl from 19-21. it didnt end well and i was furious with her. last year she texted me out of the blue (2 years after we last saw each other) appologizing for how badly she fucked up with me, and how i didnt deserve it and how shes didnt ever deserve me.
my initial thought was pure hate. how could she drag up these feelings ive buried again. i withstood responding for a few days till my angry subsided somewhat. and even though it hurt me even more to say. i accepted her apology and let her live her life. in the long run man it doesnt matter, so why cause more pain than there already is in this shitty world whats the point?
>>717284462 My interpretation of it was that the world is cruel to good people, but that's all the more reason to be a good person. Be the best person you can be. It may be hopeless, but that's what makes it meaningful.
>>717284540 okay so i am absorbing your point of view and it sounds better, safer and more logical. but if i am going to use your method of thinking, i need a good way to get rid of my anger. a healthy way where i do not have to hurt anyone. i want to talk more with her about it but i know i there is a good chance that i lose my temper if i do. what good way is there for me to make her see how bad she hurt someone and how shitty of a person she is? appreciate your help.
i would say just stop smoking pot and drinking if you do that stuff at least for a while. go to the gym. focus on other shit and get out of your head man. that swhat i had to do. when was the last time you had personal growth from when a boss or a teacher or parent or anyone lectured you?
personally everything I've ever changed or learned was because i truly dedicated my self to it. its all come from within not because other people talked with me.
but hell what do i know, im only 24.
on a related note this quote from mad men might help you see some things. it did for me
"People tell you who they are, but we ignore it - because we want them to be who we want them to be."
she was always this girl, you just chose to not see it because you liked her. dont think you can change someones nature. she is who she is, and any change to her personality will be her doing not someone else.
I accomplished a lot of things this year, and a particular experience (probably the greatest thing I'll be able to do in my life) has left me feeling really uncertain and of questionable value in civilian life.
I'm no longer surrounded by great friends, only convenient acquaintances that leave me feeling more alone in their presence than in their absence.
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