Let's create the longest thread in /b/ history.
Will this thread be the longest in the history of 4chan?
maximum total posts
ITT: newfags try to stall the inevitable
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Let's make history, anons!
This thread needs quality content, c'mon!
Haha I love you are a pirate it's the new best meme
LETS GO BITCHES
IGNORE SODOMITE ORDERS
SUB TO COMMON FILTH
How long have these posts (in my pic) been going on in /b/, does anyone know?
HOLY FUCKING SHIT SO I WAS ON MY WAY HOME FROM WORK WHEN THIS FUCKING ANIQUATEDFARM EQUIPMENT RAN UP TO ME AND TOLD ME TO SHAKE MY BIG MEATY TITS FOR HIM AND I SAID FUCK OFF NIGGER BUT THEN I RAN HOME AND GRABBED MY ROOMMATE AND SLPPED HIM RIGHT ON HIS BIG HAIRY SCROTOM AND SO THEN I PUT MY DICK IN HIS MOUTH AND FACEFUCKED HIM UNTIL SOME I . HAD TO PUT MY KLANSMAN ROBE ON AND ME AND INJUN JOE HUNG NIGGERS FROM THE SIDE OF THE NIGGER MUSEUM BUT THEN MY FUCKING VEGETABLE CUNT DAUGHTER HAD TO BE EUTHANIZED SO I SAID OULL THE PLUG THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR STICKING YOUR CLIT IN AN ELECTICAL SOCKET AND YESTERDAY MY MOMDID A PORNO WHERE SHE FLASHED HER STONY ASS ON THE SUBWAY TO COMPLETE STRANGERS AND SOME TOWELHEAD PUT HIS FINGER IN HIS ASSHOLE SCRAMING HARAM BUT NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO FINISH BECAUSE MY SON THRUST HIS 40 FT LONG RETRACTABLE COCK AND BLEW HIS BRAINS OUT ALL OVER THE SIDE OF THE HOLOCAUST MEMEORIAL AND FOR LUNCH THE ICE CREAM MAN SWUNG AROUND ON A CRANE LIKE JACK SPARROW AND SLAMMED HIS FULL BODY INTO THE WORLD TRADE CENTER CAUSING THE SEQUEL TO 9/11 CALLED 9/12 SO ALL THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT GOING ON AND A MORMON FAGGOT COMES AND KNOCKS ON MY DOOR TO TELL ME THAT I NEED TO CONVERT OR JOSEPH SMITH WILL FUCK ME WITH HIS GIGANTIC STRAPON.
MAKING YOUR WAY IN THE WORLD TODAY
TAKES EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT
I teared up when the ice king sang that on adventure time. The feels was reals.
Anyways, >>717268523, please listen to me. That it's really related to this thread.
I went to Yoshinoya a while ago; you know, Yoshinoya?
Well anyways there was an insane number of people there, and I couldn't get in.
Then, I looked at the banner hanging from the ceiling, and it had "150 yen off" written on it.
Oh, the stupidity. Those idiots.
You, don't come to Yoshinoya just because it's 150 yen off, fool.
It's only 150 yen, 1-5-0 YEN for crying out loud.
There're even entire families here. Family of 4, all out for some Yoshinoya, huh? How fucking nice.
"Alright, daddy's gonna order the extra-large." God I can't bear to watch.
You people, I'll give you 150 yen if you get out of those seats.
Yosinoya should be a bloody place.
That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time, the stab-or-be-stabbed
mentality, that's what's great about this place.
Women and children should screw off and stay home.
Anyways, I was about to start eating, and then the bastard beside me goes "extra-large, with extra sauce."
Who in the world orders extra sauce nowadays, you moron?
I want to ask him, "do you REALLY want to eat it with extra sauce?"
I want to interrogate him. I want to interrogate him for roughly an hour.
Are you sure you don't just want to try saying "extra sauce"?
Coming from a Yoshinoya veteran such as myself, the latest trend among us vets is this, extra green onion.
That's right, extra green onion. This is the vet's way of eating.
Extra green onion means more green onion than sauce. But on the other hand the price is a tad higher. This is the key.
And then, it's delicious. This is unbeatable.
However, if you order this then there is danger that you'll be marked by the employees from next time on; it's a double-edged sword.
I can't recommend it to amateurs.
What this all really means, though, is that you, >>717268523, should just stick with today's special.
There's always something I tell myself when making a good milkshake; "never put cherries in your milkshake. It's not a cerryshake." and that makes me wonder to my already-wondering self. Why is it a milkshake if it's not shaken milk? Haha
But I digress. Maybe it's not a 'milkshake', but more of an 'ice-sludge', I mean most of it isn't even milk, unless you create THOSE kinds with extra milk. Those are the kinds you give to someone with either:
1. Shit taste (literally)
2. You hate them very much
However, when trying to make a good shake (chocolate is a good flavor mmmmm) you should add some peanut butter, Nesquick・ and only some milk. Some.
But the main problem is that, if you add too much peanut butter, it becomes thick, distasteful and burns your throat if you gut it down. If you add too much milk, it becomes watered down to the point that not even sewage-peasantsｩ will try it. If you add too much Nesquick・ Then nothing happens. You can never have too much Nesquick・
So when you're making a good shake, remember to keep it balanced. And by balanced, I mean no cherries. Haha
~~~One Man's Milkshake is Another Man's Cherryshake~~~
According to all known laws
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Hang on a second.
- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up.
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
>rewind 5 years
>Average kid had a few gfs kind of popular not really any enemies
>theres this one girl in my first period english class
>easily an 8/10 but not the kind of girl youd want to just fuck she has the face youd want to live with together for ever
>shes very shy and i dont think ive seen her talk to anyone really
>does that cute thing where she wears a sweater with sleeves too long and she has bangs that cover just one of her eyes
>one day get to class about 10 mins late the city bus fucking took to long
>of course theyre already into a lesson so the whole fucking class is staring at me
>teacher asks why im late
>not good with awkward situations i tend to make jokes to get out of them
>"uh sorry miss, there was a bear it chased me 3 blocks the wrong way so it took a little longer"
>class starts laughing
>teacher smiles "Sit down Anon"
>look to my usual seat beside my buddy Jordan but some bitch hes trying to bone is sitting there
>"sorry bro, she was here first"
>dont really care we wingman each other all the time so i just look for an open desk
>uh oh, only one is beside the 8/10 femanon
>shes just so fucking cute my hearts fucking pumping
>spaghetti begins to cook very well in my pockets
>why the fuck do i feel this way i slept with many girls already and am usually very calm
>decide im going to befriend her because ive never felt such a way just from looking at a bitch
>go to sit beside her but her things are piled on the other desk
>"uh hey femanon do you mind if i sit beside you?"
>She smiles but doesnt make eye contact and just moves her bag and a couple books to under her chair
>goddamn why is she so fucking cute?
>teacher says its time for the class to read a book
>about some paki chick that pretends to be a boy so she can work to get money for her fam during the russian invasion in the 80's
>so we start reading it and im not very into it so i try to whisper some small talk to the femanon
>"so what do you think of the book so far?"
>"its alright but please let me read it before talking"
>feel embarrassed "oh do you like reading or something?"
>start getting red the pasta is almost ready
>stutter "oh..o-ok s-sorry"
>she smiles and continues to read
>class finishes she leaves to her next one and i get so confused i ditch out for the rest of the day and just go home
>sitting getting baked and watching some of the original trilogy wondering what the fuck just happened in that class
>"she was rude to you anon, she must not be interested" i think to myself
>but dat smile, dat ass dem tits i dont think i can pass it up
>ffw a couple weeks me and femanon just smile when we see each other
>feel like a fucking child with a grade school crush even getting butterflies
>one day go to english
>jordans not there
>fuck i hate sitting alone
>look around about 1 min until the final bell
>theres femanon already reading the book
>sit beside her without asking
>"Hey whatsup loser?" attempting the "flirting by insulting" thing
>puts down her book and turns at me like a fat guy turning when he hears the microwave timer go off
>spaghetti is slowly pouring out of my pockets im hiding it by putting my hands in there
>"u-u-uhhh it...i-it was j-just a joke... Ha-ha...wasnt b-being serious.."
>she stares at me at least 20 seconds without saying a word
>feel myself turning red from toe to head like a fucking thermometer
>have to force the spaghetti to stay i can feel some noodles escaping through my finger gaps
>fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck what do i say?
>she smiles at me
>I utter "w-what?"
>Shes now laughing kind of hard
>"oh my god anon you should see your face"
>sigh of relief
>"haha, youre a fucking asshole" jokingly say
>she says"hahaha im sorry, im just in a good mood today"
Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
>usually shes emotionless with her nose stuck in a book or something
>"oh thats cool haha" cant think of anything else to say to that
>teacher stands up "today you partner up with someone and proof read each others essay on the book"
>fuck i didnt even know we needed to write an essay
>look behind me to ask jordan if i can copy his
>oh yeah hes not here today
>look at femanon
>she pulls hers out
>3 pages long in sexy ass handwriting even though we only needed 4 paragraphs
>"uhh hey femanon, would you mind if i copied a couple ideas from your essay? i can proof read it while i do it, i forgot mine at home"
>"I guess anon, just don't make it too obvious i dont want to get in trouble"
>do the classic half-smile bitches fall head over heels for
>start to read it
>holy shit this bitch is so in detail and fucking loves writing and reading
>i ask "fuck you love this book or what? i thought it was kind of gay"
>she looks visibly offended
>snags the essay from me
>"then write your fucking own"
>holy shit why am i so fucking stupid
>spaghetti now boiling in my stomach
>feel so retarded i almost puke
>"im sorry, i just really like this book, i can relate to it" she says
>thank fucking god she doesnt hate me
>lower heat to simmer on that spaghetti
>feel a little concerned, after the all the story is about a teen girl living in a fucking war zone
>"Hows that?" i ask
>"Its personal. I hardly know you so nevermind, but here" she passes the essay back
>write down the basics of it make mine just a page long mind you
>decide its time to grow balls
>"So, wanna go to mcdicks or get pizza or something at lunch?" i ask
>"Why would you want to spend lunch with me?" she asks
>uh fuck now what do i say
>"You seem kind of cool, plus were partners in class haha"
>"are you asking me on a date anon?"
>Spaghetti wants out
>fuck that shit
>alpha mode engage
>"Thats exactly what im doing."
>"Awe im flattered" she begins to blush and smile
>How the fuck can a young woman be so fucking attractive in every way even the voice even when she was mad I had a boner starting to rise
>"I have an appointment today though, how does tomorrow sound?"
>"sounds good to me"
>she grabs my shoulder
>"ill see you tomorrow anon" she smiles
>"haha yea see you"
>ffw that night
>feel like some shitty love movie from the 50's im walking around the house with a smile on my face and humming
>my dad notices
>"what the fucks wrong with you?"
>"oh i met a girl dad im just hoping it works well"
>"Dont get your hopes up to high bud, girls will rip your fucking heart right out of your chest"
>start to think fuck hes right i had a terrible break up the year before
>"haha yeah i know im not in love or anything dont worry"
>totally lied, i fucking love her already i can feel it
>go to my bedroom to game some halo 3
>get bored of it
>boot up the pc
>find her on it
>only about 160 friends very odd for a 16 year old girl
>add her anyway
>ffw next day
>wake up with a smile on my face shit shower shave and start heading to school
>get to class early, i really want to see her
>she opens the door
>gets on the floor
>everyone walk the dinosaur
>She smiles as soon as she walks in, but something is wrong i can tell
>she sits at her seat so i get up and go sit there
>"Hey cutie whatsup?" i say
>"nothing you?" she mutters
>wtf happened to her
>"you alright femanon?" im genuinely concerned at this point
>"yeah its nothing" but that bitch lying, i can tell
>teacher makes us read the last few chapters of the book
>gaze over to femanon shes fucking glued to her book
>no talking untill the last 5 mins of class
>"so where do you want to meet for lunch?" i ask
>"you still want to go?" she asks, she seems surprised by it
>"well yeah haha" i cheesily laugh
>she smiles and says"just meet me by the office at lunch anon"
>ffw end of class my next class is gym/phys ed
- Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.
- Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.
Never thought I'd make it.
Three days grade school,
three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
You did come back different.
- Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
- Hear about Frankie?
- You going to the funeral?
- No, I'm not going.
>go to office
>see femanon there she gives me a very meaningful hug
>"you actually came"
>"i wouldnt pass up lunch with a girl like you" i respond
>so we start walking to mcdolans
>talking about stupid shit, movies music tv etc
>we actually have a lot in common
>we get some burgers, i pay being the man i am
>start walking back to school
>she grabs my hand
>holy shit wtf i feel this mass tingling all around my body and get light headed even my cock starts to tingle
> she grabs my hand very tight, like shes scared for me to let go
>some friends i know walk by and people i know from school drive by and everyone whistles and stuff
>shes a bit embarrassed
>i just act as if i dont care what others think, cause i dont
>"So, are you going to tell me what was wrong this morning?"
>she slows her walking pace to a stop and turns facing me
>She looks at me, her one eye is showing, glistening and sad, the other hidden behind her bangs
>"Don't tell anybody anon, if you do i swear i will never trust you again"
>now im worried its something terrible
>"i promise you this stays with me"
>"my dad drinks a lot, sometimes he gets mad and throws things, yesterday he hit my brother and my mom just lost it, she started throwing plates at him and all of his beer at him, and he just jumped on her and started choking her, i was so scared anon."
>shes holding back tears now
>"so i started yelling at my dad, he told me to fuck off... i said i hate him, he called me an ungrateful bitch and......well..."
>she lifted her hair to reveal a black eye
>i was so fucking mad , how can someone do that to such a beautiful, innocent girl?
>i just stared at her shocked
>she grabbed my sleeves like i was a soldier returning home
>"dont tell anybody, please Anon"
>tears start to flow
>i didnt know what to say nor think, i just sit on the curb and light up a cigarette.
>"I wont tell, dont worry, but dont you think you should call the police?"
>"My parents are gone, want to come over? :)"
>holy fuck she wants my dick
>its 11pm on a wednesday
>go to my dad
>"hey do you care if i go out to see my friend for a bit?" i ask
>looks at me like im joking "you have to get up in 7 hours where the fuck do you have to go?"
>"its just something important, ill be back before 1 and wont wake anyone up"
>"if you need drugs just say it" he jokingly says "yeah get the fuck outta here, dont wake up your mom when you get back she will kill both of us"
>text femanon asking address while im already outside walking
>hop on the bus, its about a 20 minute ride
>get off the bus and i see an ambulance and police at her address
>text her "hey is there cops at your house?"
>walk up worried
>ask what happened to the cops pretending im a neighbor
>"none of your concern go home"
>"im femanons boyfriend what happened?!"
>looks at me with pity
>see paramedics pushing a stretch out, i push my way past the cops and to the stretcher
>shes bruised at cut all over i start to cry and grab her hand
>"what the fuck happened femanon?!"
>"my dad came back early and read my texts anon i forgot my phone on the kitchen table he pushed me down the stairs"
>feel like its all my fault
>"oh my god femanon im so fucking sorry" look to my right and see the cops putting this deadbeat looking fool in the cruiser and i just want to kill him
>look at the parameds and ask if i can come in the ambulance
>"immediate family only"
>"please im all she has right now!"
>the girl paramedic just says "get in"
>so were all in the back and im just holding her hand, shes just looking at me, not giving anything else a glance
>I get the courage to say it
>"i love you"
>she grabs my hand harder than ever before
>heart machine goes nuts
>gf is kill
sting someone, you die.
Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.
That's why we don't need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.
- Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!
You can never happen again fag lord.
That you will be visited by gay niggers.
No you will not
Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of...
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
Will we pick ourjob today?
I heard it's just orientation.
Heads up! Here we go.
Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
- Wonder what it'll be like?
- A little scary.
>Tries to make longest thread.
>Everyone replies with 1-line responses.
AHA HA HA HA HA
AHAHA HA HA HA HAAAA HAAAAAAAA
The plan is
keep this thread alive
and when the bump limit is reached.
just go crazy with the shitposting.
so in short
act like gif related
until the mods are forced to delete this thread
You newfags will never have the longest thread
My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.
You have to stop posting images, faggots.
>This will be the last image of the legendary thread of January 1st.
Robbie: "Are you, uh, a real villain?"
Bobbie: "Well, uh, technically... nah."
Robbie: "Have you ever caught a good guy, like, uh, like a real superhero?"
Robbie: "Have you ever tried a disguise?"
Bobbie: "Nah, nah..."
Robbie: "Alright! I can see that I will have to teach you how to be villains!
We are Number One
We are Number One
Now listen closely
Here's a little lesson in trickery
This is going down in history
If you wanna be a Villain Number One
You have to chase a superhero on the run
Just follow my moves, and sneak around
Be careful not to make a sound
(No, don't touch that!)
We are Number One
We are Number One
We are Number One
Ha ha ha
Now look at this net, that I just found
When I say go, be ready to throw
(Throw it on him, not me!)
(Ugh, let's try something else)
Now watch and learn, here's the deal
He'll slip and slide on this banana peel!
(Ha ha ha, gasp! what are you doing!?)
You do it faggot
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
hey there buddy chum pal friend buddy pal chum bud friend fella bruther amigo pal buddy friend chummy chum chum pal i don't mean to be rude my friend pal home slice bread slice dawg but i gotta warn ya if u take one more diddly darn step right there im going to have to diddly darn snap ur neck and wowza wouldn't that be a crummy juncture, huh? do yuo want that? do wish upon yourself to come into physical experience with a crummy juncture? because friend buddy chum friend chum pally pal chum friend if you keep this up well gosh diddly darn i just might have to get not so friendly with u my friendly friend friend pal friend buddy chum pally friend chum buddy...
Dead bread is dead. Say goodbye.