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What was the last message someone of the opposite sex sent you?

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 303
Thread images: 30

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What was the last message someone of the opposite sex sent you?
>>
>>704914584
Am I seeing you this weekend.
>>
Son did you pay my bill?
>>
Around 11, I want to finish this anime.
>>
Also ilysm! :)) you make me happy
>>
"Well if you'd ever like company ,I'd be happy to join you"
>>
>>704914584
I had a sex dream about you last night.
>>
"Thanks babe. You too"
>>
Like it matters
>>
>>704914584

Hi [anon], Sure and further investigation shows its chrome based issue. Firefox shows videos working
>>
Gn bb :)
>>
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you sure had a lot to say last night
you're the epitome of passive aggressive. it's so draining. Like just fucking tell me straight up what the fuck you want. you made it seem like you didn't give a shit anymore and even went on a date so my impression was that things were okay. And now you're acting as if I'm supposed to be some mind reader or have a sense as to your needs
you can't just decide that things are okay and then change your mind and take it out on me and accuse me of doing hurtful things. If you have a problem then communicate it with me
if it helps you for me to straight up put it in writing, then fine. You're never going to get what you want from me (that is, if I'm even gauging correctly what it is you want)
like is all of it just bullshit, under the pretense of mr. nice guy. do I make it up that you like talking to me because you're making everything seem like spending time with me here is actually making you miserable.
and if that's the case then why don't you just fucking tell me
anyway whatever. do what you want. j'ai pas dormi et je suis devenue malade et j'ai mon entrevue demain so fuck it. you treat me like a bad person but at least I'm not spiteful.
>>
Night night
>>
I love you
>>
>>704915674
What did you do, anon?
>>
>>704914584
> I gotcha
>>
>>704914584
I'm calling the police
>>
Why you posting pictures of me on /b/?
>>
It's not gonna happen
>>
You're damn straight, but I can work with 6 1/2 maybe close to 7 on a good day. Lmao!
>>
>>704914584
"my boss wants to sell me a washer. now i just need to find a dryer"
>>
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>>704914584
Hi, u awake??
>>
Cory in the house genki desu-ka
>>
No one gives a shit about your cooking steve...
>>
"I love you too son"
>>
"Youre a real piece of shit"
>>
I'm just going to pretend I didn't read that
>>
>>704914584

"Hey, it's been so long! I was wondering if you could help me with some Calculus homework, is great to talk with you again!"

I just blocked that fucking bitch
>>
ill let you decide
>>
>>704916623
good ON ya m8
>>
i'm not doing it
>>
"niggers"
>>
>>704916262
Who are you talking to?
>>
Go ahead and tell the police. I'll be sent to jail and you'll have to live in an orphanage.
>>
ok. good luck.
>>
Yep (not including voice chat)
>>
>>704914584
I love you, you really keep me together and from falling apart.
>>
>>704914584
i'm sorry, i'm just too busy to care about our relationship anymore. call me when i can come get my stuff. i don't want to see you until then.
>>
>>704914584
It was to be 10.00am. Can you bring your gear to my place now. I'll call you
>>
>>
>>704915674
you fucking dodged a bullet
>>
Do you like it or is it like hell to you lol
>>
>>704914584
Not counting family it was
'Holy crap! Well I will let you know!'
Received 02/11/15
Was from the last girl I was in a relationship with, we broke up over a year before that and I hadn't heard from her for nearly a year before she texted me that day. She found a key to my place that I had given her and she lost at some point while we were together. I had since moved and it didn't matter anymore.
>>
rip me. I'm gonna go to bed. I had fun today! See you tomorrow! Goodnight!! :)
>>
>>704914584
>>704914584
>I think it will be better for me if I try to figure my life out before I try to involve someone else in the craziness. It's just been pretty stressful and I feel like it's been hard for me to communicate lately and it's not been fair to you. I'm sorry anon.
Fucking kek
>>
>>704914584
"I love you, goodnight"
5 minutes ago.
>>
>>704918461
Lies
>>
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Too bad it's strictly platonic.
>>
>>704914584
"R u home?" - my mom, before then my sister in law, before that some weird bitch I met off reddit
>>
" did you get a chance to talk to grandpa"
>>
Mom said:
"One of y'all will need to pick elley up from my house tomorrow because i am leaving from work to go to the hotel because I have my annual conference Wednesday"
Before that wife said: "we need more microwave meals and lean pockets"
>>
'K'
>>
>>704918990

I WOULD REALLY LIIKE IF YOU COULD TAKE DOWN THAT CONFESSIONS PAGE ITS BOTHERIN G ME
>>
"hahahah really ??"
>>
>>704914584
Fuck off
>>
>>704917777
No one's gonna check these quads?
>>
>>704914584
"I just took a shit bb, can you cum lick me clean?"
>>
"I'm.....so......hungry."
>>
>>704914584
"Idk but I can't send it"
an hour ago
>>
>ahah what did you do ?


awesome i know
>>
I want to see you
>>
"nice tits id love to put my dick between them"
>>
"U can calm down, I wasn't trying to start anything.. You asked me when I toldu and yes I'm not expecting u to wait around day." I swear my ex texts like a retard.
>>
this
>>
"lol kk bye" kms she hates me
>>
>>704922174
more pls
>>
>>704914584
>Goodnight
>I love you

Simple enough I guess. I woke her up on a school night but I sent her a message around 11 idk why she had her reminder vibration on.
>>
>>704922253
nahh not trying to spread her pics around sorry anon
>>
"Oh no it's fine I just never ever check my phone" kill me im pathetic
>>
>>704922560
hahahaha what did you say prior to that to strike out so hard?????
>>
>>704914584
"This is why I don't have friends"
>>
>>704914584
"you want me to what.. i mean, really? whos dog would it be? how does a dog even fuck you? I mean, i dunno its kinda hot seeing it but yeah x"
>>
hmm we can get high and watch a movie but that doesnt allow for much catching up
>>
>>704922702
"my head hurts" and then "sorry" 30 minutes later
>>
>why are there always so many of them at your house

I have an issue of spiders invading my personal space, one of the little guys is even crawling around my keyboard right now
>>
>>704923460
fucking kill it i hate insects
>>
>>704914584
"Wow so you're saying ew to a girl that looks like me... Nice"
>Bitch mad as fuck
>>
>>704923334
LOOOOL why are you apologizing.
>>
>>704923334
kill yourself
>>
"They at friends I just got a visitor atm, text you soon:)" Am I being cucked?
>>
>>704914584
I bought a onesie
I'll show youu
>>
"Good night."

From my ex, pretty racy eh?
>>
>>704922990
kek
>>
"And yeah your facial hair game weak as fuck" ~V.F.G.
>>
>>704923334
sorry? wtf? why sorry?
>>
>>704924059
was in a weird state of mind and thought it was retarded of me to send such a useless message
>>
>>704917916
damn son
>>
"I'm really sorry man, I've just been going through an odd time and it was just a impulsive act on my part. Nothing against you."
>>
"I did, but I haven't seen it" From my GF in context of sending a picture of my throat to her
>>
I will not abandon you
>>
>>704924301
Same
>>
>>704914584
an ironic dick pic, to which she responded with an ironic pic of her tits

probably gonna ironically meet up this weekend and ironically fuck
>>
>>704914584
I have nevar gotten a text from a grill. True story.
>>
"Old people don't understand meme culture"
>>
>>704916540
man, its so fucking cool that you cook, i cant for shit, i burn boiled water.

fuck that bitch, u dont deserve that negativity in yout life
>>
>>704914584
Stop texting me, I'm seeing someone else now
>>
I love you
>>
>>704914584
"I love you so much! <3 Goodnight!"
>>
Spell icup now nigga
>>
>>704915674
>French Canadian
>not spiteful
>>
>>704914584
"it's cool"
>>
>>704918784
>thanks guy

fucking ouch
>>
Don't come over
School just called I have
a sick kid
>>
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>>704914584
Needed a warmup image thanks. Gettin rusty.
>>
this dawg is going to sleep, goodnight
>>
>>704924279
Sounds like she cucked you
>>
>>704918387
:(
>>
Its been so long, i don't have the phone my last one was on anymore.
>>
>>704925708
we had a one night stand
>>
>>704914584
"What do you mean you're tired of my bullshit and don't want to have any contact with me anymore? I don't deserve this, please (anon) let's talk about this before this goes too far and we can't fix this. I need you to be there for me, I'm sorry but I really do love you even though I'm gay. I can't help it, please please don't turn your back on me, I know it was shitty of me to keep it hidden from you, but I really do love you. Please just talk to me."
Blocked her. Tossed her shit on the curb. Changed out all the locks. Closed down bank account and reopened a new one. Considering getting a new number.
I am so fucking pissed off right now.
>>
>So they did returned the phone?
>Yes
>>
Fuck off, you pervert!
>>
>>704925569
Last platonic friend I got a text with was
Me
>So no doing porn or prositution?
>I'm thinking... But to be truly honest my uncle would enjoy the pron.
>>
Stop texting me you fucking creep
>>
"What are you planning to do? I'm still there for you."

Now i'm blocked without her even reading my reply.
>>
"Also I'm gonna go to bed now because god loves making me suffer with fatigue all the time so good night. ️️️️️"
>>
>>704916262
Do something with those eyebrows
>>
"I want your huge cock baby boy I want it now I want your cum in my panties I want your dad to fuck my mouth while you fuck my pussy. Would you like that son?"
>>
Sure! That sounds good to me! Want to meet up around 10am at the library?
>>
Okay
>>
>>704914584
Should be 3.5 or a bit over, will see you when I get home.
>>
If you want to be left out of the group just say so.
I don't know why you hate us so much.
>>
Yeaa how's work? Get yelled at yet?
>>
>>704925794
Did she end up cheating on your or did she just come out as gay out of nowhere?
>>
>Good night and sweet dreams, babe. I love you.
FeelsPrettyAlrightMan.jpg
>>
>>704914584
Sup

I was playing Kerbal Space Program and didn't look at my phone until she'd gone to sleep.
>>
lmao (laugh emoji), Nice one!

Gurrrl, she ratchet.
>>
I'm gonna lie with you naked and put your hand in between my legs so you can feel how wet my pussy is
>>
>>704914584
I don't talk to the opposite sex :(
>>
>>704926830
Came out as gay out of nowhere. No cheating that I know of for sure, but for the past few months she's be alternatively a bitch or smothering.
What pissed me off most was we were getting ready to fuck, and was undressed and everything and she just blurts it out. Went into this 5 minute spiel about blah blah blah - I quit listening when she first said it.
After she finished, I got dressed and left.
Haven't seen her since, and don't want to.
>>
>>704914584
I didnt thought you knew me so well.
From my ex.
>>
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Yeah lol I felt paranoid
>>
>>704916492
were you?
>>
130hh/200h Bbbj,Daty,Dfk,Lap Dance,Massage,Greek Xtra 80$ And More
>>
I like you but youll never stop thinking about her.
>>
>>704926154
This was followed up with about 8 heart emojis
>FeelsGoodMan.png
>>
No, I love you for a lot more than that <3
But nibbles definitely win me over
>>
>>704915336
>>704915434
>>704924723
>>704924279
>>704925794
Kill yourself cringetard
>>
wud u wanna cum in me
>>
Never
>>
"Alrighty"
>>
there isn't one. unless you count my mom
>>
>>704927528
you jealous?
>>
>>704914584
"Fuck off No" was the last message.
>>
Not this weekend
Sorry
>>
>>704927934
No, those are low quality tits
>>
>just making sure you're okay

Shes not my gf
>>
Dinner is ready
>>
Please stop, you're hurting me, I can't breathe.
>>
The pants fit I'm going to work
>>
Hahahah only three years? Not bad
>>
>>704914584
I dunno but I'll think about it


My sister talking about where we going to eat while my girlfriend is at a wine and cheese thing
>>
"I love you." - Mom
>>
did you give me fucking chlamydia?
>>
>>704914584
I'd totally post it on every feminist and reddit website i could find.
>>
Hmmm did I do it?
>>
>>704914584
when my roommate/ ex goes through my phone and read u [sic] wanted to grab my boobs...ahaha so funny!
>>
Sorry
>>
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>>704915058
reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee fucking normie fuck off kill yourself faggot reeeee go back to facebook chad
>>
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>"Are you mad at me or something?" received Dec. 22 2014

Merry Christmas
>>
Dad?
>>
>"Thanks, bro xx will I see you today?"

2 weeks ago
>>
>>704914584
"aww poo butt i miss you too"
I bet she doesn't
>>
I'll try(proceeded by an angle and two sleeping smileys)
Sad my gf is the only girl I text at all anymore
>>
>>704914584
Then you get the full weekend to recover as well. Good idea. When will it be safe to come and visit you? I can't let myself fall into this GTA trap Anon, I'll be stuck there for weeks haha
-----
I'm currently ill with some fucked up influenza, boyfriend has had to go cold turkey for a week now.
>>
>>704927209
Its probably a good thing that you left. Maybe being with you knowing that she was the way she was would be severe heartache for both of you. Now that its broken off you have time to gather yourself and she has time to realize if she made a huge mistake or not. Chances are she would have left you or a woman in the future so you don't have that to worry about.
>>
>>704914584
Hope you have a good night :)
>>
>>704918199
what happened anon
>>
"Love you goodnight anon"
>>
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>>
>>704914584
I couldn't get it i just wanted to try it on.
>>
Haha just finished it. Also going to sleep. Night.

Pretty Meh but she still wants it
>>
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This picture. She's into me but I'm a virgin.. she wants to hang out tomorrow and we've been talking dirty, but I have no idea how to have sex. How fucked am i
>>
No, I need to sleep
>>
>>704931231

Pretty fucked, literally. Admit you're a virgin but take control of yourself and show confidence despite the fact anyway.

She will be surprised and won't have any expectations.
>>
>>704931231
I lost my virginity a few weeks ago. you just gotta go outside your comfort zone and test the waters.
just start by cuddling up with her, then go in for a kiss.
when you dont know exactly how far they will go, just keep trying the next thing slowly until she stops you (if she stops you)...
basically do this
step 1: cuddle with her
step 2: kiss her
step 3: make out
step 4: put your hands all over her
step 5: reach up her shirt
step 6: take off her shirt
step 7: reach down her pants
step 8: take off her pants
step 9: get all your clothes off
step 10: go in

like i said, just try each step slowly and test out what she is okay with. if you make it all the way to 10, you are golden.
>>
>>704931913
i think i can probably get to step 10.. but im just worried about the actual act of sex.. i dont know how to thrust.. just seems weird since im a naturally awkward person. i cant even dance.. i may just take a few shots before seeing her
>>
>>704932098
try to get her on top and ride you, its even better that way...
>>
My GF getting upset that I wasn't home as soon as she got home.. exciting, right?
>>
>>704914584
havent opened her snap and wont until tomorrow
>>
Ticket info about tomorrows concert.
>>
>>704932373
You're a faggot, not opening her snap because you have to pretend you have a life, that you are out actually doing something instead of sitting on /b/.
>>
Please take the trash out.
Love
Mum
>>
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>>
My gf:
I want you to fuck me like this and then let me swallow you're cum.
>>
>>704932970
Your*
Whoops.
>>
"savoring your textures...acknowledging the fact that my clit is vibrating and warm as blood flows through it...just typing this message"
>>
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>>704914584
>last sms
look at the pokemons i catched yesterday, we need more pokeballs!!

>last whatsapp message
es ist jetzt egal was ich sage

>last facebook message
go to wiki, and send me screenshots

and thats all
>>
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Jesus Christ!! Oh my god David... I really hope the test results come back negative!! >_< Oh my gosh! No one deserves that kind of diagnoses, especially since you're so darn young! >_<
I've been thinking about how we used to be too... And I'd also really like to try again.
>>
>>704930179
She broke up with me so that she could focus on softball. She said something like "I like you, but I don't like you enough."
>>
>>704932633
nice projecting nerd, i just got back from work and am tired, why would i want to talk to her now?
>>
Singlee @my ex gf
>>
>>704933291
what does she wanna try again? and what are you dying from?
>>
>>704914584
Ha ha ha right.
>>
>>704934156
She wants to try again because she cheated on me and feels bad because I actually cared for her. I did try again, and she stood me up

And I have Early onset Parkinsons, I'm 21 btw
>>
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>>704934351
well, michael j fox does have an actor carrer so thats good news for you
>>
yo yo boo boo boo
>>
>>704928826
underrated post
>>
Goodbye
this was 3 months ago
>>
PAUL DIDN'T WIN BIG BROTHER. WTF I'M DONE.
>>
>>704914743
Shit I still need to pay my mum rent. Ty anon
>>
I have to change into pjs and stuff lol
>>
"I really want to see you in class tomorrow"
Haven't been to classes for about a week, just gave up. Not really planning to go back
>>
"The song."
>>
No its fine you didn't seem like you wanted to talk so I'll go to bed. Night.
>>
>>704922074
Post tits
>>
>>704914584
"I have a boyfriend"
>>
>>704937107
If I'm still here, can anyone tell me how I can get rid of this guy? He is the kind of slob that thinks money brings love and respect and lots of friends told me he tried to hook them up too. Now I'm just so sick of him and want him to leave me alone. Any tips from other guys? I don't want to break his wanker feelings.
>>
>>704934404
what the fuck that gif
>>
"Whats your solution then? I am already back home so I cant free you from your suffering :("

... I was complaining that I am horny at work...
>>
>>704914584
Alrighty byee
>>
Nooo, you are fun!
Goodnight! :)
>>
Hey fagit
>>
>>704918387
Talk to her more, she clearly wants to talk to you
>>
>>704938066
Oh shit, sent you. "who is she?"
>>
>>704932875
Bronx nigga
>>
>>704937869
send pics and chat
>>
no I'm trying to find something to make me feel normal because on top of this I have my period so I'm just angry and crazy and on top of that I can't smoke cigs, I'm going to kill someone
>>
lol from my sister
>>
>>704938280
Thats translated from czech...
>>
"here"
>>
Okayyyyy" my ex when I try talking to her and she just ignores me
>>
>>704932875
Nah, this Bronx isn't the real one in murica, that's just what we call a certain city here
>>
does earlier in the day or later in the day work better for you?
>>
"Hoe voel jij je?"
>>
>We just don't have anything between us but you want to go blaming me for hurting you so bad. We were in person for less than 24 hours. We barely knew each other. We shouldn't have even slept together. I truly hope you find everything you're looking for and more.
>>
>>704914584
"you should probably get tested"
>>
>>704914584
Wana hangout for a bit? We're in the area
>>
"You're a hoe, but you're my hoe "
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YD2EqqEhJ6s
>>
>>704914584
"Ja, da war ich mir vorhin schon sicher"
>>
I made it to work safely. From my husband.
>>
"so sorry"
>>
goodnight
>>
I walk with shadows
>>
>>704914584
dont talk to me or my vagina ever again
>>
>>704914584
I told her I'd give her a tail.

Answer: "YES".

I'm okay with this.
>>
>>704914584
Yeah no worries I'll get milk on my way back.
>>
>>704915364
Right in the feels
>>
it was YESTERDAY so the doing has been done

>i forgot her birthday ¬_¬
>>
nein
>>
Besides my mom?
>>
"I will kill your sister"
>>
When I told her I want her to be mine she said:

"I'm the craziest freak you'll ever meet, the kind of crazy that will stalk you to see if you're cheating and set your house on fire when catching you cheating, but at least I have the decency to warn you beforehand. You have the chance to run away, and if you don't you are fucking stuck with me so you better think very wisely if you really want this and then we'll talk some more."

I'm still thinking lol.
>>
>>704914584
half and half is 150
>>
"Do you hear!!"
>>
"I wish you weren't gay"
>>
>>704914584
I've been thinking of your dick all day.

>inb4 fuck off
>inb4 fake
>inb4 fuck of back too facebook,tumblr
>>
>>704931231
you shouldn't fuck your uncle it's just wrong. don't reply
>>
"I just wish people realized that there are more and two genders"

crazy SJW bitch that let's me fuck her as long as I call her "them" and "they"
>>
>>704944373
You have to go back
>>
>>704944444
waste
>>
>>704944444
Holy shit. BTFO.
>>
>>704944444
back where?
why do I feel like this is a set up to a shitty joke?
>>704944514
agreed
>>
Night
>>
>>704944577
Back to the autist fantasy land where you get pussy.

Nice dubs.>>704944577
>>
>>704914584
merry christmas
>>
where are you?
>>
>>704915674
Run a fucking mile , cut her out of your life.

Take it from a guy with experience, your life would be misery with her
>>
Gf:
"Doejjj <3"

Dutch for goodbyeeee, badly written on purpose
>>
>>704914584
Night
>>
"Gn<3"
Sent by ex who wants to take a little time off dating cause she's going through some shit or something like that.
>>
thumbs up
>>
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>>704944683
meh don't really care if you believe me or not
>>
Text
"Text me when you wanna me call"

Fb
"Pizza" in reply to me asking if I wanted ice cream or chocolate.
>>
>>704927934
"Yuck" snewhore
>>
Love you too xx
>>
>>704914584
>i love you
>>
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She's pretty good
>>
>>704944997
>Sir
D/S?
>>
I love you
>>
Oih <3
>>
>>704945019
Kinda. We've only been seeing each other a few weeks so early stages. But she dropped the "please sir" last night during sex without even being asked, so think I'm on to a winner tbf.
>>
>>704914584
bye
>>
See you later
>>
>>704945221
>Dropped the "please sir" without being asked.

If you really want to make her wet, next time you see her you should smack the fuck out of her ass for not calling you "sir".
>>
>>704945613
That's not how d/s works man.
You Gotta establish those rules first not just beat people like a nutcase

But I'm glad you approve fam
>>
Eh, you could come back here and play if you want. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't get in trouble
>>
>>704914584

Heyy:)
>>
>>704945687
Every sub i've ever met has gotten off to being punished.

But, I suppose everyone is different.
>>
In the back corner on the right
>>
>>704946272
That's some kinky shit right there.
>>
Hahaha no I just didn't see you
>>
>>704934404
when I scroll the thumbnail shimmers
this is great for diagnosis of "tearing" on my GTX 970

uh, what was this thread about again?
>>
>>704945852
Play what? *nudge nudge*
>>
>>704914584
my arse is still sore but i liked you cumming inside me like that ;) i want you to fill my pussy next! xx
>>
>>704914584
helllooo bb I just arrived at schooly!!
>>
>>704946824
It was post how much of an elephant you are out of a total of 10 points.
>>
>>704914584
tile-pattern_waifu.jpg
>>
>>704914584
!!!
>>
>>704931231
just remember: COMMUNICATE

ask her if she likes it, what she likes, etc. tell her if you're enjoying whats shes doing, if it feels good. talk to each other and it'll be all good. godspeed anon. and don forget to put a helmet on your little soldier before you go to war ;)
>>
Three emoji hearts from my girlfriend.
>>
>>704946928
Gross

>two consenting adults.
>>
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I GOT MY PERIOD"
>>
>>704946079
Yes. They do.

But you establish the rules first then enact punishment.

You don't just walk in one day and start beating ass out of nowhere that's psycho behaviour dude.
>>
Go the fuck to sleep it's 5am
>>
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We're boring this morning
>>
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>>
>>
>>704914584
"We can have a chill day some time :)
I know I'd love a chill day myself"
Girl I'm dating
>>
I could end up like a dead deer on the side of the road
>>
Why the fuck do so many of you niggers have gfs and I don't
Get the fuck off my board, normals.
>>
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>>704947516
Because it's easy not being an autistic Faggot? It's nice having someone be your sexual submissive and asking you to bruise their ass. You should try it sometime.
Thread posts: 303
Thread images: 30



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