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Itt we are all in the same office, Sam went and burnt down the

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 211
Thread images: 26

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Itt we are all in the same office, Sam went and burnt down the last one
>>
>>704731583
sorry about that guys but I didn't bring a dozen methane canisters to work unlike frank
>>
Tom checking after break want to see my videos
>>
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>>704731875
>>
>>704731943
Dammit Tom start running on break or something that's disgusting
-Felix
>>
>>704731943
thanks Tom
>>
>>704732095
that's exactly what my eyes needed
>>
>>704731583
Was anyone seen the peek a boo guy anywhere I think he is stalking me
-frank
>>
>>704732092
>>704732095
Np coworkers I even went swimming
>>
>>704732230
nope I totally forgot about him
>>
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>>704732299
>>
>>704732230
>>>/p/eek
>>>/a/
>>>/b/oo
>>>/f/rank
>>
>>704732299
Floating more like
>>
Wow Sam, WOW, YOU SPILLY JUICE ON A KEYBOARD 30 FEET FROM YOURS, HOW?
>>
>>704732356
this is why your never invited to work parties
>>
>>704732374
Ughh Greg get out of here
>>
>>704732559
God damn Sam why you have to be so rude
>>
>>704732559
That and there'd be no damn food left
>>
>>704732538
hmmm maybe because I didn't and the fact you have a half empty mug of juice gave it
away who actually did
>>
>>704732700
It was probably Greg and it's probably not juice
>>
>>704732695
I leave plenty of vegetables you whiny bitches
>>
>>704732690
you chucked a plant pot at Nancy the other day
that's a bit rude in my opinion
>>
>>704732781
at least its not on my keyboard
>>
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SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
>>
>>704732921
Nancy definitely deserved that
-Felix
>>
>>704732921
Nancy deserved it she said you didn't throw the stapler
>>
>>704733012
so close Sam Jr

you just need to add M at the end and you'll finally be able to speak at least one word of
English
>>
>>704733012
CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP EDWARD JESUS CRIST SOME OF US ARE NOT A RETARED FUCKWIT!
-RICK IT
>>
>>704733012
Sam fell in the well boy? I guess we'll leave her
>>
>>704733051
but I thought we all agreed that it was Abarrane who did it
>>
>>704733149
You're think of his dad which is sam jr
he is Edward you know from the last office that was burned down by SAM!
-jim IT
>>
>>704733335
you little prick I'm right here

also how did you know my son was a boy?
>>
>>704733543
Sam there's a whole video
>>
>>704733543
Cuz I'm your coworker you dipshit
>>
>>704733450
all I did was leave the oven on in the kitchen, I wasn't the person who decided to block the
door with methane canisters
>>
"will everyone please stop looking at my tits" - Stephanie
>>
>>704733702
Ya sure Sam
>>
>>704733702
This is why we can't have nice things sam
>>
>>704733751
Stop wearing low cut tops
-Felix
>>
>>704733751
Thats your job tho
>>
>>704733751
wait so you're a guy?

why are your breasts so flat then?
>>
>>704733702
it was probably steve with the can
I think he is trying to burn down the building right now
-frank
>>
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>>704731583
Shitters clogged!
>>
Why is there a plane heading right towards us?
>>
>>704733790
what about the cake I cooked for the whole office

sure Tom ate the whole thing but its the thought that counts right?
>>
JIM PUT MY STAPLER IN JELLO AGAIN
>>
>>704733986
Hell no be right back I'm gunna roll Tom on top of him
-Felix
>>
>>704734041
SAM'S job
>>
>>704734096
NO STOP YOU'LL KILL HIM
>>
>>704734088
I tom will get it for you
>>
>>704733841
Sorry boss I forgot
>>
>>704734041
Sam!
>>
>>704734115
I put up with your shit
but I'm not touching your shit
>>
>>704734176
That's the idea!
>>
>>704734296
but I'll get the blame
>>
Uhm guys, why is there a party van in front of our building at this hour?
>>
>>704734382
Dammit what'd Sam do this time?
>>
>>704734382
God damnit gery what'd you do
>>
Uh I got a delivery of 20 pizzas.
>>
>>704734490
I've been working with you for the past hour,
how could it of been me?
>>
>>704734657
Quick everyone help me hide this stuff from Tom!
>>
>>704734694
"Working"
>>
>>704734657
its probably for Tom, just leave them on Alice's desk over there
>>
>>704734694
We don't even work in the same department
>>
>>704734382
MICROWAVE EVERYTHING
>>
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>>704734802
WHAT!!!!!
>>
>>704734843
sorry I'VE been working while you've been rating our employees tits again
>>
>>704734802
>>704734845
Who is going to pay for it?, the total is $327.28.
>>
>>704735010
No wonder why you got a 0/10
>>
>>704734970
Dammit guys walk quickly we can escape if we move slightly quick!
>>
>>704735069
Stephanie will
>>
>>704735143
just walk up the stairs, he'll never catch us there
>>
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Anyone having any tech problems right now? I just finished fixing the server.
>>
>>704735225
Who is Stephanie?
>>
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>>704735143
>>
>>704733751
>>704735376
>>
>>704735413
OH SHIT, Toms opening fire on us
>>
>>704733751
Hi, Stephanie? Did you order the 20 large all meat pizzas?
>>
>>704735328
Uh ya, Ted keeps getting on my computer can you help me secure it?
-Felix
>>
Hello is this the krusty krab?
>>
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>>704735785
>>
>>704735982
isn't that of some cartoon or something?
>>
>>704735731
Change your password, oh and the new password requirements are 1 capital vowel, 1 capital consonant, 3 different numbers, 2 symbols, and a length of 15 characters.
>>
>>704735575
No that was Sam
>>
>>704736232
Where can I find Sam then?
>>
>>704736203
Ugghh damned management always screwing with me
>>
>>704736305
She's probably causing trouble somewhere
>>
Evening niggers
>>
>>704736401
Get out of here Tim
-Felix
>>
>>704736401
Whats up cracka ass bitch?
>>
>>704736491
Im not Tim my name is Harry
>>
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10 years and I still haven't received a raise!
>>
>>704736386
I'm not and I didn't order any pizzas
>>
>>704736325
>Little does he know there is no password requirement and I have been using his computer to look at porn then blaming Ted.
>>
>>704736652
Someone here owes me $327.
>>
>>704731583
Halo again i escaped the fire i'm OK
>>
>>704736491
>>704736778
felix do you know who ordered the pizza's?
>>
>>704736778
Sorry the guys in the van out front said they'd cover it! They look scary but they're really just a bunch of softies.
-Felix
>>
>>704736614
I wish you were burned alive in the fire the way your complaining
>>
Has someone seen my pizza?
>>
>>704736831
aren't you that stalker dude?
>>
>>704737010
Shut up Nancy nobody likes you! Even Tom can't stand being around you.
>>
>>704737043
I think Tom has
>>
>>704737137
No u
>>
>>704737002
Fuck this I am out of here.

>Drops the pizzas on the ground and walks out.
>>
>>704737137
HA fooled you again, I am not Nancy but actually Sam

the lovable goof
>>
HEY! Which one of you fuckers took my pen?
>>
>>704737233
Great free pizza
>>
>>704737301
Nobody loves Sam
>>
Its time to get spooky
>>
>>704737233
you can be my partner, don't worry although everyone talks shit about me, I'm actually a cool guy
>>
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>>704737117
Yessir i'm the intern stalker Halo to you
>>
>>704737378
Nice dance moves david
>>
>>704737520
why do you smell like Wendy's?
>>
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>>704737520
Helo
can I pekk a boo at you?
>>
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>>704737679
>>
>>704737301
You're nice, don't come to work tomorrow
>>
>>704731583
Someone is in the toilet but I dont he works here and I think he made a glory hole
-frank
>>
>>704737903
I thought drug tests were mandatory ?
>>
>>704731583
Hshdhdgshshshshshshshshssbdbdfhfhhfhfhdhdhdhhdhdhddgsvvdsvvsvsvwvsvdhdhdhdhdhdhdh
>>
>>704738001
They are, but Greg here must've had some help getting around it
>>
>>704737921
don't worry, your secretes safe with me, also there's no point as I'm going to be blamed for it
anyway so I might as well see what happens
>>
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>>704737968
OI!, You fucking cunt you better not have told anyone about that lady or you're dead
-carl
>>
>>704738155
he wasnt on drugs when he took the test he is just fucking retarded
-dan
>>
>>704738403
Due to drugs he wasn't born like that he and Edward aren't actually related
>>
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Look at this funny picture haha
>>
>>704738403
its quite easy to get around the drug test on Thursday though, as Joe's never in to do it
>>
>>704738547
WTF is that?
>>
which drugs are we testing?
>>
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>>704737647
begause i had sex with Wendy
>>
Holy shit is kush is fucking good m8 anyone wants a quick puff of it?
>>
Sorry I'm late, there was this huge cocksucking contest on the 41.
>>
>>704738662
Honestly i think it's a sham made by management I think they just dump the samples
-Felix
>>
>>704738896
its cool, the boss isn't back from the burnt building yet
>>
>>704739015
Ya I don't think he made it out
>>
>>704739015
Wait if he is dead then why the fuck
are why doing are jobs than
-frank
>>
>>704739185
>>704739015
Well, how do we decide who is the boss now?
Roman Senate, anyone?
>>
>>704739244
I vote for me Sam
>>
>>704739221
To smoke some dank kush m80
>>704738889
>>
>>704739221
most of us don't even work to begin with
>>
>>704738889
Ofcourse
>>
>>704739309
Your vote that Tom and Sam are out of the running
>>
>>704739244
Greg or edward and maybe frank and that kush guy
>>704738889
>>
>>704739221
He doesn't pay us that comes down from regional
>>
>>704739391
at least I'm not the only one hated now
>>
>>704739244
The strongest shall rule
>>
>>704739524
yeah maybe someone who took a lot of blame for the burning of our last office
>>
hey guys. still raping pens-bob
>>
If I'm elected Stephanie will be required to wear a skimpy uniform to work everyday
>>
>>704739664
and what about Sam?
>>
I, Gaius Augustus Cocksuckicus Iulius Caesar, vote for myself as boss of this office. Those who pledge their loyalty to my leadership, say, "mentulam suge"
>>
Oh shit, boss is in the hallway
>>
>>704739244
I will vote for frank I mean he is the most working guy here
>>
>>704739806
To be executed
>>
>>704739898
Fuck you then, you've lost my vote
>>
>>704739806
Se will be forced to wear a button up jacket that exposes nothing
>>
>>704739898
>>704739979
Wasn't me
>>
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Has someone seen this man?
>>
>>704740243
Ya pretty sure I saw him get in a van out front
-Felix
>>
>>704740243
yeah you just showed us him
>>
Uh, my name is Sam, I'm new here.
>>
>>704738889
OH SHIT I HAVING A BAD TRIP
>>
I'm gonna go suffocate myself with C02 in sedan, anyone want to join me? Have room for three more
>>
>>704740387
Sam is not new here get out
>>
>>704740243
Inshallah brother
>>
>>704740458
Sorry? I don't know what you mean. This is my first job so I'm pretty nervous, is this some sort of office prank?
>>
>>704740387
wow momma, that's my name, how about we call you silly?

trust me it's best you don't keep that name around here
>>
Ugh...Gary took a shit on the copy machine's scanner again...
-Jeff
>>
>>704740387
Grt our now there so much retards and weed smookers RUN!
-frank
>>704740391
>>704739383
>>704738889
>>704739310
>>
>>704740541
Well thanks stranger. We can call me Jack, that's my middle name.
>>
>>704740546
Dammit Sams go clean it up
>>
>>704738634
Don't be mean. He's the new kenyan intern.
>>
>>704740627
how about instead I throw you out the window

sounds good?
>>
>>704740614
Well jack best to meet Edward the ski masked weirdo
>>704733012
>>
>>704740747
Hahaha this is Tom bitch
>>
Hey guys and gals! I'm the new guy on the block over in HR, the names Case but you can call me Ace hahaha! So anyway, who y'all voting for this year?
>>
>>704740812
I've fucked up
>>
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>>704740747
>>
>>704740815
How about you go choke on a bag of spiked dicks you waste of fucking office space and filtered water?
>>
>>704740815
Nobody wants HR here we are doing fine
-Felix
>>
>>704740815
I can't vote, they've banned me
>>
>>704740896
Ya you did
>>
>>704740987
>>704740935
Guys come on I'm just new in town and just want to make the whole work place a family :-) you know what, I'm going out to Bufflo Wild Wings this Saturday to watch a game, want to me there around 7? I'll buy you a beer!
>>
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>>704740815
FAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOT!
>>
>>704741145
fuck you Case i'll set fire to your kids
>>
>>704741145
is it alright if you invite Tom?
>>
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>>704741145
Bribery bribery only Tom would fall for
>>
>>704741244
HOLY SHIT EDWARD JUST SAID A COMPLETED WORD HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK!
-FRANK
>>
>>704741293
Sure anyone can come if they want! >>704741244
>>704741267
Guys I'm giving you multiple chances but I'll say it out loud now just so we have the ground rules; I'm quite uncomfortable with these threats and vulgar language. Please do not have these in our workplace and we'll be set! :-)
>>
>>704741293
No, fuck Tom, that asshole ate my lunch
>>
>>704741457
And it made sense damn it's a miracle!
-Felix
>>
>>704741530
i'm gonna use your ass as a hand puppet and make you perform shows for your family
>>
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>>704741530
- Felix
>>
WHO SET HITLER AS MY DESKTOP BACKGROUND!?!
>>
>>704741791
>>704741856
Okay fellas, let's go have a meeting in my office! Come on let's just go talk these things out :-)
>>
>>704741905
It was Sam
>>
>>704741989
WHY WOULD I DO THAT TO MYSELF?
>>
>>704741905
that'll be tom again he's going through a bit of a phase, thats nothing you should see what he did to the showers
>>
>>704741951
Nah I'm busy setting an unregulated password on my computer seems somebody keeps getting on it and tech support is no help
-Felix
>>
>>704742080
for some reason I want to know what he did
>>
>>704741905
Probably bill form desk 88 IT
>>
>>704742222
well I guess that's the truth
>>
>>704742222
Ya it probably was
>>
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>>704742222
Forgot pic
>>
>>704742216
well joe goldburg told me he switched the pipes from the water to a homebrewed form of mustard gas, you know tom always the prankster
>>
>>704742430
Tom must be hanging out with this guy
>>
Classic Tom, always good for a laugh
>>
>>704742498
>mustard gas
the irony is strong
>>
>>704742678
Btw Tom had a cake in the fridge so I decided I'd get it out for everyone
-Felix
>>
that's it guys, my shift is over
it's been fun being the scape goat but I've gotta get back home.
see ya

~Sam~
>>
>>704743240
Great now we need a new scapegoat
Thread posts: 211
Thread images: 26



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