Hey /b/ros Night shift hotel worker here again . I don’t give

>>704490606
German?

>>704490767
Who me?

>>704490606

Lol what the fuck OP

should I cont?

>>704490814
Yes, you. We eradicated our Polish problem, they don't even squat within ten kilometers of here, much less cause any trouble.

>>704491200
Yeah its in Germany .
Fuckin good guess

>Kicking this piece of shit out is gunna be far too much work by myself and I cant be bothered to get the police involved because shitting yourself in the lobby and pissing people off isn’t actually illegal.
>Mkai…. Gunna have to deal with this shit by myself
>Phone rings.
>Polish guys room number
>Iwouldkillyouifiknewwhattodowithabody.gif.
>”Guest service how can I help”
>”Room is dirt . Make to send someone cleaning”
>I can literally hear the sound of his shit stained track pants rustling. Polish cunt didn’t even have the grace to stop masterbating on the phone…
>WTF
>I have now decided that this beautifull eastern European ray of sunshine is the reason Ive been put in this broken down arse excuse for a hotel
>Itsonpolishguy.png

>>704491105
Do

>>704491260
In that case, you may proceed

keep it bumped bros. Im writing.

>The only other person in the hotel these days is housekeeping bro
>housekeeping bro is polish too but the hilarious I don’t give a shit , kind of a polish. Not the slightly less . I have literally just taken a shit while maintaining eye contact with you kind of polish

>I fill housekeeping bro in on the absolute masterpiece of a human being located on the 5th floor
>We wait for the track suited cruisader to stumble out of his room and make the entire resteraunt uncomfortable
>housekeeping bro and I head up to the Polocopters room
>HOLYFUCKINGSHITBALLS you guys. I wish I was making this up . I really do
>There is literal green shit on the wall. Looks like it was on a hand at some point but hes just smeared it on the wall for shits and giggles.
>Ceiling fan is covered in tissues
>Used tissues…
>Whythough.jpg
>We crank the air conditioning up to about 45 billion degrees. I type in my tech code and set the panel to lock so no one can change it
>We head over the cracked open window and housekeeping bro closes and locks it.
>(sometimes helicopter parents want us to lock it so their dumb ass kids cant throw their ipods or whatever out the window)
>The television system we use is ancient. Like barba fucking Streisands vagina ancient.
>It’s a well known problem that if the connection at the back is a little loose this fucker just turns itself on and off every 5 minutes for no reason
>Krank up the volume all the way.
>Pull on the wiring until is comes loose
>Iwasbornforthisjob.jpg

Cont?

Ass

>>704491346
>shitting yourself in the lobby isn’t actually illegal.
Oh, Germany. You so filthy.

>>704491899
Kek.

They better be walking the dinosaur

>After pololz left the resteraunt I didn’t see him for like 3 or 4 hours
>Must be out somewhere being polish…
>Eventually the phone rings
>Guesswho.jpeg
>”Guest service anon here how can I help”

>”Is this joke”

>why yes. Yes it is
>”What ever do you mean sir”
>”Everything in room fucking to up “. “I wanting to speak to the manger now. You giving him to me “!
>Lolz nobody fucking works here anymore
>”Of course sir , just a moment please”
>I put the phone down and scratch my ass for a good 25 seconds
>Pick up again and decide the “manger” has a super heavy german accent (Aparently polish people hate germans. According to housekeeping bro)
>”Ziss is ze manger” “How am I helping to you ziss day?”
>Polish dude is already pissed that im just about as fucking german as it is possible to be.
>”Tv is fuckage . Window is the closed. How you are going to fixing ?”
> “Don’t to worrying about zis. You to satisfaction is for top priority to us”
>”what im supposed to do with the window? “
> “yaaaaaa . Zis really is a terrible problem. I understanding maybe you having ze stomache troubles. Wann you cant open ze window is maybe like a gas chamber in ze room no? “
>Ultimate german kek.
>Mr Poland doesn’t like this very much and goes on on a 15 minute telephone screaming rant. This guys English is dire , but fuck does he know how to swear. I
>Eventually get the shithead off the phone and promise im gunna send the manager up to see him in a bit
>LOL whatmanager.jpg

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Bumpin for OP

>>704492416
You may continue.

>Calls back
>”whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat no manager came up to see you”
>”don’t worry sir Ill get right on it” . put the phone a little bit away from my face and do the heavy german accent again. “I don’t go up to see the fucking polish monkey. Zer was scheisse all over everything why I want to go see him?”
>The polozarus rex doesn’t appreciate this
>”Give me to talking to him !!”
>Lol. NO
>”Im sorry sir the manager is not available right now” Pull the phone away from face again “Jaa not available for polish monkeys”
>Unleash the kraken.jpg
>/b/ros hes on floor fucking 5 . But I can hear this cunt racing down the stairs. Didn’t even bother to wait for the elevator . Hes just on full drunk polish power.
>Storms up to the desk
>”GERMAN MANAGER. RIGHT NOW”
“Okay sir hold on one second let me see if I can find him for you”
>Wanted in to back office and close the door
>Chillin on the computer for about 10 minutes just to get him good and shitty
>Theres a camera in back office to watch for guests outside so I can literally see him turning deeper shades of red.
>Start talking to myself/the manager loud enough for him to hear it
>”But sir , he had legitiment problems he needs help with”
>”JAA ze biggest problem I zink is zat hes a fucking polish pig dog. I don’t speaking to him”
> Polish guy punches the desk as hard as he can.
>Dude… I think he literally broke his crazy ass polish fingures.

>>704493000
Mysides.jpg

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>>704490606
>>704493000
This is great, keep going please.
As a side note, when you finish the story, what's the sketchiest thing you've ever seen working at a night hotel?

>>704493000
this is so good lmao

>>704493773
Probably a guest chasing around kids wearing nothing but sunglasses and a mickey mouse hat.... not even making that up

Op here sorry guys I have to finish a few things first im at work right now.
If you can keep this bumped for like 15 mins I'll finish it here otherwise I'll open a new thread when I'm done if you are interested in what happened

>>704494760
Bamp

>>704494632
Still call him "dicky micky "

op you sly dawg you. ;)

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bumps

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Just gotta do security check . I'll be back

>>704493000
>Pollacks hate Germans
>Pollack is in Germany
>Who the fuck did he expect to find instead?
>Oh right, this is Germany

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Keep it going!!!!!! For op!!!!!

Only 10 more floors to check keep it bumped guys

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He had best come back, we need to know what happened

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>>704495718
Have faith

>>704496141
I will, Aryan hotel man. I will

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>>704490606

Keep it bumped guys !!! This is the first OP I've ever believed would come back

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Strangest thing a guest has requested for their room?

Bumpy bumpy pollock cummies

>>704496354
Nutella and a bag of broken light bulbs. Still no fucking idea why

>>704496533
You ever see people and just know they are swingers? Any weird tales on that?

Believe the hype.

>>704493000
>>704493555
Witnessing

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Almost dooooone

Plox come back op

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Bamp

>>704497280
Are you hotel bro from the 'inside info from a business/company' thread?

>>704493000
Does it continue anymore?

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Bumpity

Op is pollock

testing

>>704497280
Fuck dude why you so pretty

>>704497543
Hell yeah . I'm just not at my comp right now. I will be tough

>>704497543
He's writing the next part.

>>704497654
Dawwwwww.

>>704496354
Why do German hotels have signs in English?

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Bumparoo

Mexfag living in America checking in. What's the Mexican population over there? Would I get grouped in with mudslides?

Mexicans aren't real

Just hang on guys I'm still not at comp but I should be in 5 mins

Bumparino

>>704497837
leave now please

Anon hurry. I'm starting to fall asleep

>>704498171
Fine, shitty (or to some better) knock off Spaniards

>>704498200
In 5mins this thread is sage. Already now on page 5

Bamp

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>>704498445
Try again faggot

Also
Bump

>>704498445
Fuck . I'll make a new thread then

>>704491805
(sometimes helicopter parents want us to lock it so their dumb ass kids cant throw their ipods or whatever out the window)

say what now

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>>704498625

Bump until op finishes

>>704498707
Don't you fucking dare, I don't want to hunt this thread down. Just finish nigga

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>>704498707
Hurry up
BUMP

Finish you cunt

IM BACK okay typing now

Come on. I wanna wank but I don't dare leave the thread

OP is asstrash.

>>704498999
trips has spoken

>>704499239
Good, $$

Bumpity bump bump bump

>>704499313
Third trips in the thread, in case of you did notice not.

Hurry up fag

>>704499451
Hush now baby boy, I'll sooth you

>>704499246
You had your chance, he's back now

>Polish guy is going absolutely nuts at the front desk
>Step out and tell him "just give me a few minutes im sure I can track the Manager down for you"
>"Can hear everyzing he get his german ass face out here now !"
>Just one moment for me sir.

>Go back into the back Office.
>talking to myself again like a fucking crazy Person
>"sir i think the Gentleman outside can hear you"
"NEIN Ze door was not closed properly ze Gay Pollock asshole vas not supposed to hear zis"
>Polish guy visibily shaking at this Point
>No joke , hes vibrating

>>704499544
Yes dad

>>704498707
Fuu

>>704499561
You dont say

>>704499642
No matching 44 dubs? You're no son of mine

>>704499630
Not many words for so much time typing... Beeeeeil dick!!

Staying in anticipation of walking the dinosaur.

Don't let the thread die

>Start thinking... . If i was a german manager what would I actullay be doing right now
>Decide that the best thing to do would be to Panic
>"Shit hes so angry look at ze guy hes vibrating like a cheap sex doll"
>Polo has turned a nice shade of purple at this stage
>"I sneak around the building. Dont tell him about zis ja . Sorry I come back you just make sure to him zat hes not going crazy.

OP don't make me comb your hair in the other direction!

>>704500089
...quirky

>>704500051
>Polish guy obviously hear dthe entire fucking thing and is now at about defcon 5 of Vibration
>He starts looking around for the Manager who at this Point is aparently trying to run the fuck away
>Housekeeping bro and I are pretty much pissing our Pants in the back Office at this Point
>The pole stays at the reception for a good 45 minutes demanding that the german runaway Manager is brought to justice.
>Eventually he decides to take a break and head sup to the room that is now roughly the temperature of the sun .
>And smells like the inside of shreks shoe

Hurry nigga, still wanna wank

Rip thread

Is there another thread or.. this ded?

Im typing as fast as i can guys. Sorry

>>704500435
Think you're slacking...

>>704500330
>>Decide that the best thing to do would be to Panic
>>"Shit hes so angry look at ze guy hes vibrating like a cheap sex doll"
>>Polo has turned a nice shade of purple at this stage
>>"I sneak around the building. Dont tell him about zis ja . Sorry I come back you just make sure to him zat hes not going crazy.
don't know if this whole story is true, but I kekd.
9/10.
Also, I am at work in an hotel night shift too. Cheers bro.

>>704500330
I got to hear the end of this LOL.

Shit. I'll wank to your story

It's all good OP

>>704500435
While we wait, what's some hotel tips and tricks to get gud stuff

>>704500655
what?

>>704500330
>After what i can only imagine to be 23000 shots of vodka mr pole stumbles back down to the front desk for another attempt at international warfare
>"Ze room is not too work"
>"cant stay zis room you give me another room now"
>"Im so sorry sir unfortunatly we are sold out
>Lol ... this shithole hasnt been sold out since about 1984
>"You dont move room. I dont can talk to racist shit manger"
>"What I do now"
>HIs fists are cleached and hes going slowly purple again
>Let me call the manger and see what we can do for you
>LET ME TALK TO MANGER ASSHOLE
>(actually why not)
>Figure i may as well try this bullshit out

>>704500665
U. sick. soab.

>>704500888
Like you've done nothing worse

>I call the back Office number and spend the first like 4 seconds just talking to myself
>"The gentlemen would like to speak to you "
>nothing on the other end... obiviously
>"pass the guest to the phone
>I head into the back Office saying ill be right back
>Boom
>Manager fucking exists again
>"ja"
>"How am i able to helping you"
>Pole goes mental , i mean 50 shades of absolutly crazy. never in my life have i even heard half of the amazing things this fuck said to me on the phone.
>Hes swining his arms around almost breaking the fucking phone this delightfull man is so mad

>>704500888
Trips

Another one

Still there op?

>>704500975
Aha wish this was a bet coz i would cleann out your paypal m8

>>704500803
I want to know if the polocks head explodes.

>>704501123
Crazyy

>>704501176
OP is typing /b/ro

Worry for not. OP has delivered more than one part, I have faith this one will Finnish the job

>>704501114
>I didnt even notice that theres another girl behind him in the line.
>She makes the mistake of tapping him on the shoulder and asking if hes being served of if there is someone coming to help
>He starts screaming his face off at her now
>"Thatshitdontfly.jpg
>I finally have an excuse to call the popo
>I give the local Police Station a quick buzz and tell them ive got a guy abusing other guests i Need to remove from the properly.
>The Response time is usually about 5 minutes

>>704501177
All I'm saying is that the bro who's calling me sick has to look in the mirror.

>>704501123
Is that a reference to something? I can't tell

>>704501320
ohhhhh I read that wrong nvm

>>704501475
Naw

I just got faith in this OP

This though is a reference:
You have been saved, not by works, but through faith

Take it or leave it

Don't let the thread down

>>704501658
Leave me alone, I'm busy

>>704501438
>I head outside to deal with the two guests. t
>the sweet Little girl he yelled at is actually a total badass and is giving it back to him times about 20
>When the Police Show up I give a Statement right in from of him in perfect german.
>his eyebrows raise just a Little...
>The Police dont actually Arrest him but they do have to put him in the car to drive him back to the Airport as he cant stay on the property anymore.
>As hes just about to leave
>I say in the exact voice i did for the manger the whole day
>"It vas really a pleasure to velcome you as our guest. I vill never Forget ziss.

Ideal OP:
https://youtu.be/HgzGwKwLmgM
This OP:
https://youtu.be/HgzGwKwLmgM
I like this guy

DONT LET THIS THREAD DIE DAMNIT!!!!

>>704502059
>I have never in my life seen a man turn purple so fucking fast.


The end

>>704501793
If its meant to be its meant to be,
We will see
If its not,
Then this thread will stop

>>704501447
Aha ok, I'm hot af! Have fun jerking off ;)

>>704502191
Yo, that shit was dope

beautiful

>>704502182
Pottery!

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Dear: OP
you are the best OP I could wish for

>>704502059
That was good. It would have been better if he wold have started shit with the police and they clubbed his ass LOL.

Woot it's done. Someone screencap plz

Ive got 200 more stories
Wether you beleive me or not
I swear that one was true

>>704502478
I could have jazzed it up a Little but i just thought the actuall truth was so fucking funny

screen cap this shit

>>704502460
Ikr! it's so satsfying to read the end of a story for oncee

>>704502460
Thanks bud ( :

Thanks for waiting

>>704502505
Moar

>>704502604
Yes please !

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> this thread
> 10/10

/b/ros cap and spread this

CAP AND SPREAD

>>704502666
Yh another thread?

>>704502666
O man . I type too slow. Ill put some in a word document and copy paste them into my next thread. Its gunna be same time tommorrow during my shift I guess If you guys think this shit is funny.

>>704502581
Don't get me wrong it was still good ) I did get a good laugh.

>>704502769
Not the pics though please if you guys dont mind.
They were just for you :p

>>704502505
very nice. I too work in an hotel night shift(at work atm)but witnessed only "small"things, mostly because i work in a luxury hotel, and if you can pay 500 bucks per night you don't go around with shit stained adidas swimsuit.

>>704502784
It's good shit

Screen cap me- Mex from 608

>>704502784
Kinda in the mood for it now tho ngl :))

>>704500645
Fuck yeah .

Cheers bro

op please paste all your stories somewhere
this is enjoyable enough to be documented

>>704503195
>>704502970
>>704502923
If you guys want another one look for me tommorrow at the same time with "night shift" in the search bar.
( :

If you were in this thread hit me up in the next one.

I'll look for you every night op

Did anyone Screencap?

for the love of FSM someone cap this shit

>tfw im too lazy

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>>704498625
Godspeed you beautiful bastards

>>704490606
>>704491346
>>704491805
>>704492416
>>704493000
>>704495333
>>704499630
>>704500051
>>704500330
>>704500816
>>704501114
>>704501438
>>704502059
>>704502182
>>704503313
Someone please cap this

>>704503737
please vocaroo your german voice before you go OP

>>704503737
Sploosh

>>704503881
I dont know how to do that :p

>>704503920
Whats that mean?

>>704503996
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/sploosh

>>704503737
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0J1cvvpQ3H6
voice :D

>>704503959
its easy bro...you go to that website and hit the red button to record your voice, then it gives you a link to post

you don't have to , anon , the story was great /b/ro

>>704504138
not op but is the story

>>704504052
>Sanking you
>Ziss vas an honour for me

WHO SCREENCAPPED?

>>704502059
>It vas really a pleasure to velcome you as our guest. I vill never Forget ziss
And his reaction to this revelation?

The hotel literally has legs

>>704504369
He turned purple and was dragged into a Police car.
It was without a doubt the most errect ive ever been in my entire life

>>704497934
Grow a beard and pretend to be syrian and you'll fit right in

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Thank you op

>>704504902
Glad you liked it

DUDES. who screencapped?

>>704503737
op was not a faggot today...thx krautenhammer

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>>704498832
Helicopter parents, you haven't heard of them?

They're parents that are rich enough to afford a helicopter and spend all their time helicoptering around with their kids being annoying. They love to shop at Target because they have the landing zone on the roof.

>>704505263
Sehr gerne

American schweinehund

>>704497540
Nah thats not me