/b/ i have a problem
my ex's ex has been dressing up as achilles for a week in front of my house and has been screaming HECTORRR HECTORR HECTORR at 6 pm every day (My name is actually hector)
The police says they cant do anything cause hes not trespassing and dressing up to replicate movies isn't a crime.
Hes a trained MMA fighter on roids and hes crazy as fuck what do i do
Record it. Post here/on the internets/YouTube/Etc.
Make multiple videos of you screwing with this guy. Make yourself an army of fat Greek guys and go mess with him.
Countertroll. You fucktard.
>dressing up as achilles for a week in front of my house and has been screaming HECTORRR HECTORR HECTORR at 6 pm every day (My name is actually hector)
Get your quasi-faggot brother to shoot him in the tendon while you distract him with your smokin' hot wife.
>dressed up as Achilles
Just accept your fate and give Helen back. 10/10
if he shows up at 6 p.m. just go rent some Trojan replica armor with a shitty plastic spear and shield. stand on your roof for a couple days when he shows up yelling shit back at him. Then set a small rocking horse outside for him with a cardboard box on top of it that says "trojan horse" written in shitty marker.
You duel him. Make sure to use a weapon you're familiar with, and he is not.
If you use a Gladius and win, then you become the manliest man in America. No, really imagine the headlines:
Hector slays "Achilles"
That shit will be immortalized. I mean yah, you might go to jail. But dude. You'd be the guy who slew *Achilles.* With a fucking Gladius. The other inmates would offer you their allegiance, on the promise of leading them to future victories.
>have you not seen that C+ movie Troy?
Have you not read The Illiad?
>"dress up as dragonborn"
>*inserts 2011 meme*
Jesus the cringe
Go down there to fight and die like a man in front of your family and friends before being dragged back to his house tied to his car.
Or go down there with the same intention and instead run away around your house a bunch of times until a God/Goddess tricks you into facing him and then makes you waste your spear and gives him a spare one to kill you with.
Either works fine.
What do you mean what to do? Dress up as Hector, fight him and die.
Respect his commitment to the act, come on.
this will be in a best of 4chan thread some day, flash a gun at him idiot
I think you'll find it does it's job of being counterweight for when he starts a big faggy choreographed spinning strike because it's an acton movie and the choreography in those is basically ballet.
Found it for you.
Was going to screenshot this thread as it's fucking hilarious but the cringe dragonborn thing would be in it so thread ruined.
Stand face to face like this. Scare him off. Or get killed. Whatever works.
The real question is why are you this upset?
the answer is obvious. you must meet his challenge and face in honorable combat,then use pocket sand
This technique works. I would know.
Because how the fuck can I expect you to cook my food right if you can't even do simple problem solving?
here's what you do:
>>go to a local horse farm.
>>scout the biggest horse you can find.
>>slay that motherfucker like you're about to use it for revenge.
>>got your dead horse?
>>now hollow that fucker out Hans style
>>nows the tricky bit, go to a local greek family restaurant and try lure 2 or 3 out.
>>I recommend using a neighbouring country's economy for that bit, they can't resist.
>>knock them out with, you guessed it, horse tranquilizers.
>>now comes the harder part, getting those greek fuckers in your dead horse.
>>I advise feet first and covered in butter.
>>now sew up your horse and dump it on his lawn.
>>when he comes to investigate the DEAD FUCKING HORSE on his lawn those greek fuckers from earlier should be waking up.
>>they come busting out and boom you got yourself a video of something to post here tomorrow.
>>got your dead horse?
like its normal
"Akhilleus the great runner scowled and said:
"Beg me no beggary by soul or parents,
whining dog! Would god my passion drove me
to slaughter you and eat you raw, you've caused
such agony to me! No man exists
who could defend you from the carrion pack—
not if they spread for me ten times your ransom,
twenty times, and promise more as well;
aye, not if Priam, son of Dardanos,
tells them to buy you for your weight in gold!
You'll have no bed of death, nor will you be laid out and mourned by her who gave you birth.
Dogs and birds will have you, every scrap."
Continue reporting him for several weeks so the police have a long enough list of incidents. Then provoke him into coming onto your property and shoot him. Claim self defense. Its not that hard to get away with murder in murica.
Protip: You'll only need half as much ime if he's a nig.
true but to him it will just be another thankless duty. A duty he does not only to preserve the moments had here but to preserve his nameless immortality in the hearts of thousands as the sc provides future generations many kekkels.
>Helen is Paris' wife, not Hector's
>Hector never had any romantic relations with Helen at all, nor would he as she was the cause ofnthe war he opposed so much
I don't think you realize how uneducated you sounded just now...
Dress up as a Mickey Mouse and let him fuck you in the ass and tell him to beat you up afterwards so it's not gay. It's prison love...
Then watch him fuck your gf and cry still dressed up as a Mickey. Then lick the pussy clean after the creampie and say "gosh Minnie that was some good pie"
This is your life now so get used to it... Maybe after a while he will eventually dress up as Goofy. But in a meanwhile just get the fuck out of my /b/.
How many sock-puppets can dance on the head of a thread ?
thats bullshit. you can get him nailed for public disturbance and harrassment. it wont amount to much more than a fine and a slap on the wrist, but you could try getting a restraining order for up to 500 yards, especially if you document the act.
Honestly, if the police won't do anything you should at least call some news firm like your local newspaper or broadcasting station. They're definitely gonna want to see this and it'll probably scare the guy away once his face gets some attention
this, only put a paintbomb in the horse so when he opens it he'll get splattered with paint. it's a win-win cause if he rages and comes banging at your door or trying to get in the police will have a reason to arrest him and otherwise you got a lulzy show from up your rooftop.
you have 3 options
1: have a gun? flash it and look at his reaction. if he steps on your property you can use it to legaly defend yourself (shoot him in the arms or leg)
2: man up and face him, show you are not afraid and are willing to fight him.
3: post on 4chan and don't do anything
We gonna need a pic or something to prove you aren't making this shit up so some other fags will screen cap it and months down the road when someone posts it in a banana filled YLYL thread you will orgasm and say "THAT WAS ME!! XD XD "
helen wasn't even hector's bitch but 7/10 for trying /b/ro
this thread is shit bait so faggots like you will have their 'bee was awesome in my times of 2k16, too'
two weeks ago, searched for 1.5 minute
I never said she was you idjut, you presumed as much.
>Hector was a great captain in the Trojan army
>the most badass of the Trojans
>Paris' beloved brother
>had great influence
He literally could have given her back any time he wanted, but he didn't because he loves his brother.
>Ten gatorade bottles
>catch two rats in a jar
>make a sandwich full of PB+J, mayo, apple slices, and BBQ sauce
>Tie a yarn around the jar and wear jar as a necklace that hangs just below your cock
>Soak sandwich in Gatorade
>Come out and greet him
>Offer as ambrosia
>Tell him, "here I retain my manhood, as evident by my ballsack below me. Will you join me as a kindred like these two creatures that are my bollocks?"
This doesn't happen in the fucking Iliad
Is OP gonna post pics of achilles soon, or is he just full of shit?
I literally did not imply or say anything about that.
But if you're going to start that argument, you're 100% wrong. It IS about Achilles, just as much as it is about Agamemnon and Hector and Ares and Odysseus and PariI etc. And you would know that if you studied it, as it's a recording of alleged history and NOT a fantasy novel.
akiles fights and kills hektor in the iliad
it starts with akiles and agamemnon disagreeing and akiles refusing to fight, then theres a bit of back and forth between the trojans and the rest of the greeks inc god shenanigans, patroklos fights and dies, akiles gets pissed and kills hektor, funeral games, the end
no wood horce tho
Laughed more at that, than this thread.
I've seen people posting about screen shoting and I thought about it but I'm not really sure what the fumiest parts are because I read it with no faceface.