>cheat on my girlfriend 4 years ago >she forgives me >we get married 2 years later >now after 2 years of marriage she says it still upsets her >says its the reason she has been having trouble sexually (she is nowhere near as adventurous as she was before I cheated) >I agree to go to a marriage counselor tomorrow
>>699642611 Probably (and I'm just guessing) that you were sexually abused by your father. Even if it's not true, if you build an elaborate story around this, it might help her build up sympathy toward you, which could help overall.
>>699642611 Legit do not, I repeat do not tell this to the psychologist.
If your marriage fails she will use this to get all your shit. You will not be protected by doctor patient confidentiality as they will be 'treating' both of you. They will be asked to give information on your therapy and this will be used to paint you in a bad light.
>>699642829 >>699642849 >>699642916 kek, I wish I was joking but I have legit told her that. It was all within the context of the conversation. I mean she really wasnt too upset by it, she now pokes fun at me for wanting a dog to fuck her.
>>699642823 Talking to a third party does nothing. You are paying money to someone that gives lip service and sends you on your way.
The only way something can work is if the two of you really came together as one in tje relationship. Seeing how that hasn't happened, and you are a cheater, doesn't make anything that approachable. It takes two, not three.
Also, look up statistics on failed marriages and shit. It's hilarious.
>>699643334 She is paying for it 100%. Wife has said "obviously there is something wrong in my mind for me to not be able to get over it so I hope they can help". She also let me pick out the shrink we are going to see.
>>699643205 >Talking to a third party does nothing. You are paying money to someone that gives lip service and sends you on your way. Lol such BS. You are not the master of your own mind. The guy fucks horses, if you dont think therapy can help him you need to get over your school counselor not treating you like the special snowflake you always wanted to be.
>>699643115 thank you. this is prolly a troll bc most ppl who are like this little fuck claims to be wouldn't be married in the first place. either way if you hate women then don't marry one and she would deserve better. way better. any woman would.
>>699642057 >What the fuck should I expect her to dump your cheating ass >I'm on fourchan asking for serious relationship help GTFO, honestly you dun goof'd it long ago with being a sex obsessed monkey fucker
>>699643697 I dont see how that makes me a insane person. I just literally do not care. If fucking a horse good then why the fuck should I not do it? If anything feels good to me why should I not do it? Who set the societal norms into place to dictate my fun?
>>699643115 no you wouldnt. stupid ass keyboard warrior. All you would do is grumble under your breath and scurry away clutching your bag of doritos l then go home and behind the safety of a screen tell someone else how you'd kick their ass.
Yes and yes and >>699643732. It will be a painful process if you really try and is not likely to yield any different result than you (both) already know. You're done. You fucked up and it should be obvious at this point that she can't and won't get over it. Just get a divorce before you have kids for all your sakes.
>>699643115 What did u say to me? Ill fucking track your device Ad ID you fucktard, you better watch your mouth bitch boi. Ill beat you so bad ill talk to you like a woman after. Have you sit in the hospital for a couple of weeks if youre lucky you pussy ass cock sucker.
They literally feed off dying marriages. They're worse than family lawyers.
The therapist will agree with whoever seems the most adamant about counseling. Obviously, this is profit driven. If you need a mediator, or someone who doesn't even know you to tell you about the person you're tonsil punching at night, you're beyond salvation. What you should take from the counselling is her expression of what's really bothering her. You should address the issues with prospective solutions, but DO NOT become defensive. If she starts venting and expressing all this shit to the therapist, it's because she feels more comfortable having a witness there to validate her feelings.
this should be an exercise in communication. After the therapy, try to be more receptive if she opens up and starts bitching. Don't just stay quiet, but don't try to justify and diminish anything. Just reassure her that you'll make progress.
>>699644350 >>699644350 When the cheating thing happen I told her I was going to leave her because she deserved WAY better than me. She cried and pleaded for me to not leave her. Im not going to lie, she is the perfect woman shes hot, and very level headed, and fun to be around. I was going to leave her because I honestly thought it was the best for her, but she pleaded so much for me not to I didnt.
>>699643986 I didnt say you were insane. You know its a problem as you got defensive.
Besides therapy is used for more then treating 'problems'. Youre a fucked up dude. Lots of people are fucked up, however most dont fuck up there own marriage. Instead they have there shit together at home and fuck around outside that. From what youve said youve lost control of your impulses and it going to bite you hard.
>>699643986 You sound like my friend Philip. Dudes in a similar situation. She'll probally end up cheating on you down the road. Which you should expect. Or even offer to let her so she can get you cheating off her mind
Conseilling ? I think that is some useless psychological procrastination ... Talk to your wife with your heart, learn to be happy with her, have great sex eat at restaurant make big projects... Also women and men aren't the same at all
>>699645343 I have been thinking about this. I mean I really do not want her to live life with this eating at her, she deserves so much better than me. Maybe it would be best if I just left her. It would suck for me, but I think it may be better for her.
>>699642823 Anyone have the vid of the girl who does this exact same thing but she's in a pirate costume and about 2 minutes into it she hits poop, and she says, "ahoy matey! Thar be poop!" and then she licks her fingers. The name of the vid was something like, "cleaning the poop deck."
like I said, she needs someone else there. You're the source of the problem. While you feel comfortable (being the cheating piece of shit you are), she doesn't reciprocate. It's like a victim asking their abuser for help.
The therapist is a proxy for her to tell you how she feels. Her asking to see one is a sign of desperation, and waning resolve. If she's willing to pay for this shit, she must feel like there's no other choice. you just need to listen the fuck up, and actually think about solutions to what she's troubled with.
>>699645624 I dont have anything for her to have. If we divorced now I guess she may get like a shitty TV out of the deal. We both work 2 pretty average jobs (shes a school teacher and I am a Finance account manager)
>>699645542 Fucking christ OP. She can't get over the fact that you've cheated on her. How is talking to someone else going to help her get over that fact that you've cheated on her. Get a lawyer and break shit off man. For her mainly. Bitch will be miserable as long as you keep this going.
>>699645542 Women get bent out of shape about dumb shit all the time. IMHO it's an evolutionary adaptation--they cope with unpleasant realities by inventing imaginary bullshit. >get dumped >omg he was such an abusive asshole, I NEVER liked him
If this anxiety over cheating is cropping up all of a sudden, it's probably rooted in something else entirely.
That is, it's just a random shit test, and the only way to pass is to rise above it and show her by your actions that everything is ok.
If it were me I'd just politely ignore her nonsense and fuck the shit out of her the way I want.
>>699645264 as long as it's just his wife making those allegations, it can be spun as a vengeful ex trying to sling mud in an ugly divorce. if a third party can back that up, it can't. if they can make that stuff stick, he'll lose his divorce big time.
Has she mentioned ANYTHING that might make her feel better?
One thing that hurts women big time when being cheated on is the fact that they feel like they weren't enough, even if that's no the reason why you cheated. Did the other woman look better than her, at least? Always cheat up.
>>699646302 >>699646311 I'm not saying OP is a stupid ass. All of us make mistakes. But he fucked up pretty bad at some point. You can't expect thing to go well after something like that...to my opinion
Seriously, why do you faggots think this would be a good idea? Stop thinking with your dicks you little bitches. Once you get enough puss you realize that shit's not special.
So STFU if any of you pillow fuckers think not being a fucking virgin makes me a white Knight. it's the principle behind fucking somebody else that messed her up. you essentially told her she wasn't good enough and worth less than whoever the hell your cum repository was.
you fucked with her head OP. I wouldn't be surprised if teh reason she's so messed up right now is because she feels like an idiot putting your rotting dick back in her then marrying you. if it was you, i would call you a fucking cuck and laugh at how someone else used your wife's cunt before deciding you can have it back, Just to have you marry that skank. And that's what you are OP. You're a male skank she married.
>>699646883 Literally my thought process was "why not". Its a really shitty way to think, but I just saw it as easy ass. Literally my wife is a /fit/ person who works out 6 days a week and the girl I fucked had to way double my wife. Its nothing to do with my wife, and all to do with me being stupid.
>>699646851 Because she is the perfect woman. All of my friends tell me how lucky I am to have "found the one sane woman on the planet"
>>699642611 >what else could counseling help her find out?
Maybe it's not to help her find out things about you, but the inverse. Up to this point you've been talking about yourself, but it seems like maybe you're not fulfilling a need that your wife has, and she thinks the councillor will be able to communicate it to you better than she can.
>>699646469 I know this might shock and appall you, but men and women are, in fact, different. Physically and psychologically. From an evolutionary standpoint, the worst thing a woman can do to a man is trick him into wasting his life and effort raising another man's child. For a woman, the worst outcome is being knocked up, and then abandoned and humiliated with no means of support.
>>699647138 So did she catch you in the act, or did you confess out of the blue? Doesn't really matter, just curious.
I'm still of the mind that if this is just cropping up now, it's just a shit test. If you'd never cheated, she'd be full of anxiety over how you don't take her out to fancy places anymore, or that you don't like her family, or some other dumb thing.
>>699642057 Just listen to her and make sure she feels that you hear her hurt and if you feel regret, show her that you regret what you did. why you cheat at the time? Bad situation with her or you just chanced on some strange and didn't give a Fuk at the time?
>>699647138 Bro you're wife isn't "sane" and "perfect" she's clearly imbalanced, insecure, and codependent enough to actually not just stay with you but BEG you too stay AFTER you cheated and she's an 8/10. She's just as much of a basket case as you.
>>699642611 I don't get these white Knight faggot calling you psycho because of what you get off too sexually. It's not bad at all as long as you don't hurt anything. Now I will tell you that you fucked up giving your wife this info. This will surely come up in therapy and as many axons have said she will take half your shit. Pro tip: don't get married again. All women will fuck you over if that means getting ahead for them. They are literally something to stick your in dick into a few times a day and that's it
>ok Jane we'll start with you. What do you perceive the problems the marriage to be? >Well there is a lack of intimacy which for my part I think is because of my ability to build up the trust again after he cheated on my. >Yes good Jane what else? >Um that's all I can really think of. Oh wait, he also wants me to fuck a dog. >Ummmm >Oh and maybe it's because he fucks horses >Errrr >Oh oh and I suppose I'm a little put off by him getting blowjob's off strange men through a hole at the public toilets.
>>699642057 That your marriage is gonna be coming to an end soon you fuckin idiot. Once you cheat, there's no working it out. She's just gonna make you throw away a bunch of money paying some sad lonely faggot to pretty much side with her and if he can manage to, because you're such a prick and your lady is dumb enough, fuck your wife in your bed, in your house, on a semi regular basis without you ever knowing anything about it at all. She'll do other shit too like get you to purchase a bunch of shit you don't need or get you pulled over and plant drugs on you or call it in that you're drinking and driving when you've had just enough to get you busted for a DUI. The list of dirty shit bitches are prone to do against men is astounding and all but the best thing you can hope to do right now, is just slowly start saving your money in a separate account she doesn't know about which really means keep it all in cash and in a secure location that can't be accessed easily. All you really wanna do is bide your time until you can just leave her ass before she goes for the killing blow. Women are vicious and will chop your dick off the day they divorce your ass. >Good luck you fuckin retard.
>>699642057 Fuckin' easy anon. Therapists tell are there to agree with you unless you say something disagreeable. My wife and I went for like two years because I lied to her about money. All you need to do is let your wife lead the answers. Tell them what they want you to hear. Smile, nod, agree. Lots of eye contact and touching her hands when she talks. Go through it for a few weeks. Let her make the first move with sex. Bam. You're (she's) cured.
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