well i might just repost my story just for the sake of bumping
>yesterday i met up with the girl who i had something going with for half a year >she ended things with us to be with her ex >months passed with no contact and we started texting again >she started reminding me of things we had >she came to my city for her country trip >we had 2 nice days >talked about everything >she still has feelings for me >told me she wants no contact at all >deleted each others numbers
the sad part about this was seeing this outgoing girl always happy, making others feel happy when youre around start crying, tears running down her eyes and genuinely looking sad
no idea if we'll ever atleast text with each other or something also i had like 1001 chances to kiss her and i should have, but i didnt she wanted me to kiss her, i should be the one to do that "mistake"
>>699297692 I guess so Well time to share my dad's story
>be me >20 y/o loving live >"Anon your dad has been diagnosed with lung cancer" >"I-It's curable right..?" >months pass see him getting worse day by day >spend every minute I can with him >start smoking out of stress >It's spreading >"This can't happen to me right?" >we still drink beer and hang out together >he was not just my dad he was my friend >make my brother visit him aswell >something seems off today dad is quite passive >he gave us a kiss everytime we left, this dayhe didnt >wake up next day >get a call of my granma >"Anon your dad passed away, please come to the hospital"
But I couldn't, I really couldn't it was just too much for me Fuck Anons I'm crying right now This all happened about ten months ago I miss him so much :(
>>699297205 This is a story I like sharing. It actually happened a few years ago but I remember it pretty well because it made me have the feels
>get job at office >one employee there is some kind of office assistance >fat guy, questionable hygiene, never talks, always looks in a constant state of dazed and confused >we go to lunch at the same time so sometimes we make small talk >one day talking about what i wanted to do in the future, ask him how he ended up here. what did he want to do when he was younger? >he puts down his sandwich and says "let me tell you a story about I man I used to know" the green text is as told by fatty >be 20 >boy works shitty manual labor job >he meets wonderful mexican girl >she's smart and beautiful and has major aspirations >they date for a few years, but her parents don't like him because he's white >she doesn't care >one day he visits her at her apartment and she's crying >she can't handle working and going to school full time >her parents wont help her at all because they think she should just take over the family restaurant >he offers to help >move her into his apartment >he buys her books >he works extra hours at factory for money >for almost 4 years this went on >girl finally graduates with her business(?) degree >she gets a some kind of job through a distant cousin >going to start off making 40k/year >she tells the young man this time she'll support him, and he can finish his degree like he had wanted
>>699298318 >he quits factory job, gets enrolled at local college >week before classes start, shes driving home from work when a drunk hits her head on going across a bridge >flipped her car over the rails, killed her >he falls into a deep depression and start binge drinking >after a few months he goes and asks boss at factory for job back >work shitty dead end job he hates for years >live in state of complete apathy, dont care about the job, do shoddy work, gets fired >family friend gets him a crappy entry level job as an office assistant >he drones on day after day living without purpose >fatty looks to me and says "and that's the story of a man I used to know"
About two weeks after fatty told me this story, he didn't show up to work for about 3 days. >boss calls me over >"Anon you and fatty talk sometimes right?" >yeah kinda i guess during lunch >boss asks if I would mind going over to fatty's place with him to check on him >uhm okay >we get there, stroll up to fatty's apartment >knock >no reply >knock harder >no reply >boss looks around, finds a spare key taped inside the mail box >open the door and walk inside >it smells awful, there are dirty dishes and food wrappers everywhere >find fatty in his recliner surrounded by liquor and pill bottles >he is very clearly dead >boss sighs deeply and says he's stepping outside to call the police >walk over to fatty >he's clutching something in his arms >it's a framed picture of him and her together >she was actually pretty hot and he didn't look bad himself when he was young and skinny >felt like crying, but i didn't >no one at work goes to the funeral, nobody really knew him that well >start to wonder how many people he actually told about his life >make sure I remember his story so i can share it whenever it feels appropriate
>>699297433 Let it go anon. She will continue to do this even with a new relationship. I can say this as I have been that girl. You have been relegated (probably not consciously) by her as a stand by. She is doing the right thing cutting it off but yet gives you just enough to hang on. This will never be a win for you anon and will not give you the love you deserve from someone who is dedicated to you.
>>699299014 thanks anon i dont doubt it for a second she wont do the same thing with someone else her relationship with her ex is destined to fail sometime down the road and she has already met someone else through 4chan, just like me
its just sad to see that there was really something going on between the two of us yet she chose what she chose because she thinks she is doing the right thing for whatever reasons
>>699298259 Mines ok but I am now to the point of having dreams about being with someone who is actually "with" me. my bf is married and I see him for a few hours every few weeks. I am not good at being a SO so I feel like this lets me give the little that I know I can and doesn't require me to give the lot that I've never been able to before. I was a serial cheater but I have been faithful to this married guy, go figure.
after asking her a few times i found out that im giving her something, a feeling, she is not getting from her bf anymore affection, approval that someone is doing something for her just for the sake of doing it for her
>>699299714 actual anon here we live 150 miles apart from another so i doubt well ever see each other in public furthermore i believe she will contact me sometime again when shell either see that breaking off contact to get over things for real is not working or that shell see that staying in contact is helping more than not having any
>>699299783 she does yeah at the age of 20 telling someone else that her ex bf with whom she is sexually frustrated in bed, once again, is the guy she wants to be for her whole life, is not something rational imo
>>699299430 Maybe watch some ghost shows. I know for a fact my suicided ex is stuck in his house reliving it over and over here 12 years after he did the did. NOT freedom dude, not by a long shot (pardon the pun)
Be me >Be 13 years old >Be the smart kid in class, but a total loner. >Not quite full aspie, but antisocial and abrasive, a bit of an edge lord. >Even with "too serius 4 skool" attitude, I'm fairly popular with the girls, they think I'm cute and all dark and myserious and shit. >Guys hate me, but generally don't give me too much trouble. >One day I get assigned to a three person group assignment working under a senior student instructor (rich prep school, so that kind of assignment isn't uncommon) >Grouped up with tryhard borderline retard kid and another girl. >Work through the first few parts of the assignment with them actually an okay group. She's pretty booksmart, and while he may be a dumbass he's determined and motivated AF. >When we first meet he anounces "he's going to be the smartest student of the school, ever!" like this is some fucking anime shit. >One day I get an offer from another school, basically "Yo, you gifted as FUCK man, come learn with us, we got them scholarships and the best learning and shit." >Whatevs, too cool for this shit but why not. >Leaving to go to new school when motivated retard bro tries to stop me >Says we're a team, supposed to stick together. >the fuck? god damn aspie >Fucker actually tries to fight me to make me stay >We beat each other shitless, I end up leaving anyway. >Nigga is crying my name and shit as I leave >Three years later we defeat forces threatening the world
>>699298271 You will go when you can anon. Your dad knows you love him and that you are in pain. The body that was in the hospital wasn't him anymore anyhow. The main reason for showing up at those things is you and supporting your fam. if you can't do that then you need to take care of yourself which you are doing.
>>699297205 >Be me >Britbong >Born to a heroin addict and 16 year old girl >Almost put into care because my father was a violent criminal >Grew up with disabled grandmother in a council flat instead >Had it tough through school >Some kids tried to strangle me once. School, headteacher, and MP didn't care. >Always felt the need to succeed, as most of my family were failures, alcoholics, or drug addicts >Move to new school for last year of Primary, 10 years old >Make fucking amazing friends >Feel accepted for once, social anxiety and depression starts to go away >Pass 11+, but declined a place at Grammar School >Feel like another failure, because I was always going to be the first from my family to go to grammar school >Go to shitty school with friends >They instantly turn their backs on me, find new, cooler friends >Left alone, lurk around autismoids when I need company >Exist like this for a few years >Fall in love with a girl >She was leading me on, starts spreading messages we exchanged and blackmailing me etc. >Fall in love with another girl a year later >Literally exactly the same thing happened >Skip to now >Going to uni, want to become a financial worker >Doing very well >Stopped caring about friends in school, found friends outside of school >Have gf >Feeling good for the first time, have a car and shit for myself >Some disgusting SJWs call me privileged >They have parents paying for their degrees on their behalf >I didn't even have fucking parents >But apparently, I don't understand the struggle of being poor and oppressed by the establishment >mfw
>>699300457 also adding up she has told me that there is something im giving her, that she is looking out for and is not getting from her not-ex bf and i believe she will continue to search for that, because she cant get that from him anymore and she is that sort of human who really needs good sex in a relationship and connect emotional happiness with sexual happiness last one shes not getting enough from that guy so yeah
>>699301385 would it be too much if i sent her a birthday card? it wouldve only been like 3 months of cut off contact would that be too much for her? considering she wanted me to kiss her the whole evening and teard up crying after i just swiftly stroke her cheek before saying farewell
>>699301534 cut if off so she can figure out that she is wasting time and hurting you. If you meet someone better in the mean time.. win win. Don't make her the bastion of your happiness, anon, she isn't doing that for you: unless you enjoy the drama.
>>699301891 thought she was one of those girls that didnt was the first girl ive ever met who actually calmed herself down when she was about to go full bitch mode and wanted to talk about problems and whatnot instead of just going "you know what you did wrong"
>>699302027 she does need what im giving her as a feeling for approval yeah maybe its just the first time she encountered someone with whom she could be who could actually give her on a sexual basis what she needed who knows
>>699301449 ok its going to sound cliched but time heals everything. you have to move on. Moving on does not mean forgetting your father. It means that you have mourned and your father would want you to keep him in your heart and carry on with your life. Every one has hardships anon believe me, some have easier than others but everyone has their struggle. You have yours. Dont clink to his death . Dont remember that hes gone and be sad. Be happy that you got to spend all those time with him. All good things come to an end anon thats what makes them good. End is very important in all things. Yes he was gone too soon but you were with him all you life. If there is an afterlife hes there with you , watching you. And no father can stand seeing their childin pain. BE happy you had a loving father. Keep him in your heart. embrace every moment of life that lies before you. keep yourself busy. go out. and smile . JUST SMILE. your smile will make him happy. you going out will make him happy. Be brave and all the best anon. Everything is going to be okay. I promise you!
>>699298782 That's actually incorrect. You should never let it out because it creates a pattern. That's old school logic and has been debunked. Psychiatrist used to have a method for relieving stress involving beating on a punching bag. Then they learned it started a pattern of violence and there was no evil energy being released. You're stilll thinking of it as voodoo but logically you should never go to feel thread and post unless you want to start a pattern of victimization within yourself. Sorry bros.
>>699303113 Not sure how much there is to know.. he's married 40 yrs or so, lives in the next town. I'm 50 he's 60 well if I say I am a girl I will get the ole tits or gtfo and I don't feel like that. I have a tits pic but always get bullshit insults so.. anyhow yes.
>>699304060 well on the one hand she seems torn between two people she really likes, anon and her (ex-)bf, so, to resist temptation and/or to not hurt herself and/or hurt anon and/or to make things worse for her and/or anon she decided to cut all the contact and do the society acceped thing and stay with her current bf
on the other hand, and this might be my cynisism talkin: hypergamy and bitches be crazy
have a pic of my fat cat b, im running out off feel pics... and its caturday i suppose
Posted this in the last thread and I know this is probably nothing compared to what some of you are going through. But I just got back home from the airport. I dropped off the girl I love for her flight home. She spent the last week with me. Now I am just sitting in my room, which still smells like her, crying like a fucking baby. I hate this feeling in my chest. Its not even been an hour and I already miss her so much.
>be me >around 12yrs old >friendly neighbour has a lot of newborn parakeets >she gave me one of the newborns >first day can't take my eyes of it >still no name >we bought a new bigger cage for it >needed to transport the bird from cage A to B >inserthandincage.gif >he tears my hand open >HolyFuckingShit.jpg >i got it! >let's call him rambo >since then been chilling with rambo watching him >placing my finger on the cage >everytime he tries to peck me >i remove my finger >after a couple of weeks >pecks became kisses >got him to the vet to cut his wings >WingsFresh.webm >let him out of his cage >play with him for weeks >i shit you not i played soccer with him >he was not bad at all >wings grew back >he was used to us so we just let his cage open >everytime me and my little brothers play tag he would chase us too >teached him tricks >everytime i whistle he would stand on his cage >*1 clap* flies onto my shoulder >*2 clap* flies around me >he would follow me all day and stand on my shoulder >if he wanted me to pet him he would fucking scream in my ear >he even had dinner with us >giving him some fresh veggie >he ate chicken (give me a break i was 12) >loved him like he was a brother to me >one day >my dad was preparing barbeque >he called in my brother for help >my brother opened the backyard door witouth putting rambo in his cage >rambo flies away >never returns...
>I just finished college >Went to film school to learn how to sound impressive at my starbucks job. >Whatevs. >Decide to find a new place to live, get away from my crazy parents, and start a new life. >2 bedroom apartment, myself and my buddies (closet gay couple who needed to get away from their redneck families). >Pretty rad place, rent was kind of pricey but split 3 ways it was manageable. >Heating was cheap but god damn, AC costs murdered us. >The apartment complex had a flower garden that was kind of fenced off. It was connected to the parking lot so outsiders could get in, and there was a gate that was usually locked, but typically the only way in would be the door to the building. >The flower garden was beautiful! Absolutely beautiful! It had the most intense, vibrant flowers. >Roses, lavenders, daisies, shit I didn't even know what to call. >I thought there might be a gardening club or something that tended to it. >I moved on with my life, moved into the apartment, got settled with the guys, and started meeting the neighbours (yeah, we're canadians). >One night we invited a bunch of the young, hip neighbours over for drinks. My intention was to bone the sexy blonde 3 doors down, but I didn't know that she had a long distance sugar daddy so that was bust. >We started telling scary stories though just because we were drunk. >My neighbour Kyle (nice dude, lived with a chunky white girl) told us about Niki. >Niki was an urban legend around the complex. >He shuffled around late at night. >Rumour had it he was some kind of mob assassin or gang guy. >Always hung around shady biker-looking dudes or was by himself. >He creeped the fuck out of people. >He was also known as the flower guy, because he grew and tended to the garden in the apartment complex. >Nobody messed with him. >But the biggest rumor of them all: Cont.
>be me >26, living with parents cause last housemate got busted for dealing >working 2 shitty dead end jobs >literally 60hr work weeks >havent had a night out in 2yrs >friends got bored of not seeing me so no longer exist >in love with my ex, who moved to another country and has 2 kids with a different guy >doesnt rly know im still alive at all >drinking, heavily >currently skipping work due to hangover >12hr shifts for next 5 days solid
Should i just kill myself and be done with it, /b/?
>>699306863 I broke my leg at a festival Called in sick for 6 weeks Was still in my trial time so they could have fired me any time and they did Still getting paid this month but I dodnt know how to progress afzer that
i broke up with my bf about 1.5 years ago had a sexual relationship of sorts with some chad guy for a couple of weeks then i met a guy on the internet from a 100 mile city away i fell in love with him and had something going on with him for like 6 months or so and i left him for my ex whom i consider to be the best choice to be for my overall life yet i still have feelings for that guy i dated i have no idea what i should do, i had to tell the poor guy that i don't want to hear anything from him again cause i'm thinking a lot about him throughout the whole time
>have shitty self-esteem >can't make friends easily >always the low-priority guy, no one wants me around >depression sets in, gets worse >move, people still suck >one day a girl walks up to me >we talk, become friends >self-esteem grows rapidly, make lots of friends >do practically everything for this girl, help with homework (I was in high school at the time), help her study, offer to buy her food >depression practically vanishes >plan to ask out girl on New Year's Eve >notice she never texts me back but think nothing of it December 30, 11:58 PM >sitting on computer browsing 4chan >phone vibrates >check it, it's her really hot friend >we talk for a little while >hot friend asks me if I like femanon >tell her yes because why the fuck not "I'm afraid... i have some bad news." >sends screenshots of her and femanon's conversations >it's awful, femanon is trashing me to no end and qt friend can't do anything about it >turns out she was only nice to me because she was trying to lead me on >this was the girl that I had done everything for, gave up hours of my life to help, and I had wasted it all on a person who didn't care >lay down >try not to cry >cry a lot I have more of this story but that part isn't really for a feels thread
>>699306473 Yeah it sucks. The distance is quite far. Like right over 1000 miles. And as it stands right now, the next time I will get to see her is 7 months from now, but that could easily change and not work out and then idk when.. Before this trip it had been a little over a year since we last saw each other.
>Kyle told us that supposedly he beat his wife and daughters to death in his apartment, and left their bodies to rot. >Scary as fuck. >He said the rumors say that he goes after girls with long black hair like his wife and kids, and kills them, and uses them for fertilizer. >Nobody believed that part, obviously, but lots of people believed he killed his wife and kids. >I forgot about the story for a few weeks after that. >It was the tail end of winter so nothing was growing. >Until one day I was out having a smoke near the flower garden and I saw this guy. >Spring had begun. >The biggest monster I had ever seen stumbled out of the building. >He carried himself like a giant. He took slow, earthshaking footsteps, and he kept his back straight, casting a mighty shadow. >He was well over 6 feet tall, with short, black hair, a messy beard, and massive forearms. >He had a scar that ran from his upper lip to his ear. >He had this look in his eyes, like murder. >He looked like he'd rip your head off. >Have you ever seen a guy that just made you go "What the FUCK?" >Well that was Niki the Flower Guy. >He was a big russian beast of a man. >He wandered around like he was a machine, simply doing what he was programmed to do. He worked on the garden, and that was that. >Time went on, and every day he would be out there. >I met a pretty girl named Sue. She was a blonde cardio bunny who loved when I smacked her round ass. >Told her about Niki the Flower Guy and she was skeptical. >One day she asked how I knew the story was true, so I started asking the neighbours, and was directed to one guy who was actually there when it happened. >Older fellow, in his 40's. >He said one day, people on the main floor started complaining about a horrible stench. >He remembers a few days later, cops were all over the street, and they were pulling out bodies from his apartment. More.
>>699297205 >it is going to be a year next week that my dad died >sunked into full depression was an alcohol before he died >was last week in the E.R for alcohol poisoning >im drinking again just lasted 5 days sober >feel real sad was angry at him >mom blamed me because of his death but then said it was the doctors fault >still an alcoholic I want to quit but can`t >Hate myself for been a worthless drunk >Just sads.
>>699307808 It deffintely was! Luckily that shit happened after the last concert I dont have a profession yet But "learnign" starts at september here every year and I couldnt get anything for this year
I went to college but I quit because I needed the money, my whole family is poor and I just want to break the circle
Looking forward to get a job as a programmer next year
After all that happened I still look forward sometimes
>>699308621 >tbh, you need to figure your feelings out yourself, but plz dont hurt anyone, there are already too many of us feelscrippled guys around i've already hurt my boyfriend when i sort of betrayed him, eventhogh we weren't together plus i hurt that guys feelings a lot by telling him i choose my bf instead of him i really should off myself here there is no way i can not have any form of guilt feelings towards one or the other
>>699308358 >>699308512 >>699308550 >Thanks guys tried reading the book twice went of AA, even with Jehova`s witnesses my parents went there we are catholic but they went there for two hours having them to come over for two years for me to change. He said to me he would died catholic that he never knew that much about the bible, still have notes he wrote because he tried to memorize the verses, I really need to stop pyting myself and stop been a pussy bitch addict.
>>699308621 I know anon. Thing is, she texted me the other day. >sitting at home browsing 4chan >phone rings >caller I.D. is "Fuck Off" >pick up >"Hello?" "Hey anon, it's me, femanon!" >"What do you want?" "Do you remember when we were friends?" >pause for dramatic effect >"Nope." >hang up, ignore phone rest of the day
>>699309144 You should already feel special from the inside. The fact that you are looking outside for validation of your worth shows you need to get yourself together and find that value inside not outside. Outside will always let you down, it is not the outside's job to validate you, it's yours.
>He told us that Niki and his wife were screaming at each other loudly, for days before it happened. It got so bad they were threatened with getting kicked out. >Says he heard shit breaking and being thrown through the walls, claims Niki beat his wife and threw shit at her. >girlfriend is convinced now. >We go out for a smoke and we see Niki again. >The guy just shuffles around like a giant zombie. >Same old Niki. >But I had to admit, the flowers he grew there were gorgeous. I mean, so beautiful. The colours, the size, they were perfect. They could probably win awards. But everyone was too terrified of Niki the Flower Guy to go near the garden. >Sometimes a couple of big biker guys, like 3 or 4 bear men, would come to the gardens, and he would lead them into the building and take them to his room. >Fast forward a year, and my girlfriend has now moved in with me. >I spread the Niki stories just like everyone else in the apartment complex. >I saw something in the late spring that made me think twice. >A new woman moved into the building, and she had a little four year old girl, with bright crystal blue eyes and dirty blonde hair down to her waist. The little thing was so skinny I thought if someone cupped their hands around her waist, their fingers would touch. >Her name was Joanna, or Jo for short. >One day her mother took her down to the flower garden. I was there, and I watched with amusement as the little girl ran through the garden, touching and smelling flowers. >Niki stepped out of the apartment, and he just started working on the garden. >Then the girl did the unthinkable. >She yanked on one of the flowers when her mother wasn't looking. >It was a violet I think. >snapped the stem in two and ruined the flower. >The mother yelled at her, and Niki's head snapped towards her. Continued,
>>699308236 Thanks for the advice. Its just like every little thing reminds me of her and makes me miss her. Just stupid shit. Like looking at the corner of my room where the carpet is all flattened from her luggage sitting there just brings me to tears even. The thought going to sleep/waking up without her next to me is killer.
>>699309459 i guess you're right, but at the moment that is something i am not receiving from my bf at all i love him from all my heart and he is the one i want to grow old with, but inside of me there's this part that's seeking for something, well, what he can't give me
>Gf found her nudes on here. >Proceed breakup. Dates an asshole for a few months >They have lots of sex(according to her he was stupid so "there wasnt much else to do") she tells me some things they did >Apologize, and finally date her again after they break up >Find out he had a 8 inch cock >TFW your only 5.5 inches >TFW she tells you she sucked his cock on a highway once, but says its too dangerous to try again >Think about him fucking her sometimes as I fuck her from the back
>>699308751 life isnt black and white tbh, yeah someone will get hurt, but as i do have one of the rare optimistic moments in live, you can figure a way out without feelscrippeling (:^)) the other guy, you seem like a decent person anon, godspeed faget
>captcha is gettin more retarded by the post btw...
>>699310108 >why should i have poor self esteem That's the first thing to figure out, why do you? Why are you prevailing on those you care about to reinstate it? Is that fair? Considering it's not possible and has to come from within you, I don't think it's fair at all. Lots of pain and betrayal involved in that path.
one of my friends is now hooked up with my crush because he knew I liked her i helped him in everything and was there for him when his gf broke up with him, why the fuck would he do it I've loved that girl since mid school and he knew it
>>699310183 >>699310271 so i should try to get what i am seeking from somewhere else from my bf? otherwise i don't know what to do, the other guy was what i was seeking out for a temporal boost, but i know my bf is the best choice in the long run even if he may not be the best in bed
>>699310520 simplify and stay with your soulmate, cut it off with the ego-feeding dude and get your head straight. If you think you are not capable then break it off with both and get your head together before trying again.
>I dropped my cigarette. The giant lumbered towards the mother and daughter, and I got my phone out, ready to call the police. >I was certain I was about to witness a murder. >The mother was shaking as she stuttered out "sorry". >Niki stared down at Jo, and she smiled up at him, blissfully unaware of the great beast who's attention she just grabbed. >He knelt down beside her, and put one of his powerful hands on her tiny shoulders. >"Do you like these flowers sweetie?" He asked. >His voice was powerful. It boomed like a stereo with the bass turned WAY up. Yet it was also cracked and ancient from lack of use. >She nodded yes, and he asked her if she knew what it was called. >She shook her head no. >"It's called a Violet. Would you like to take one?" >She nodded her head. "Yes please!" >He let out a loud sigh and walked over to his equipment and dug out one of those small shovels and a flower pot. >He explained to her that if she picked the flower it would die, but if she took it root and all, it could live a long time. >He pulled the flower and put it in a pot for her, and gave it to her. >She thanked Niki and gave him a big hug, and I swear to god the beast-man just froze. >It was like the gears in his head just stopped. >He awkwardly stood up, and was just looking really uncomfortable. >Not that he didn't like her, just that he didn't seem to know how to respond. >The mother thanked him, and ushered her little girl away from the giant. >From that point on, the little girl and mother started joining Niki the Flower Guy more often. >He didn't say much, but he explained to her all about how to grow flowers. >He let her plant her own, grew them with her, helped her tend to them, and shared his garden with her. >Brave kid, I remember thinking. >My girlfriend told me at the time I needed to tell the woman that Niki was a child-murderer. >I contemplated it for a while. Almost done.
>>699310108 Because you don`t value what you have, I had some bad shit happened to me could be even for a script for a movie, was thinking oh what a shitty life turned to alcohol, then when my dad passed away I realized something that I should had been happy with my life that bad things were in the past, in other words I fucked up he tried explaining that to me sometimes but I was to stubborn to listen, don`t make the same mistake as I did because it is a horrible feeling with real pain and there is nothing you can do about it, just think of the decisions you make that will be the path for the rest of your life.
>>699310609 i know, but I can't move on really i didn't love this girl because of the way she looked, fuck 3 years ago she was a fucking whale and I loved her then too(she's thin now not whale anymore) im shit at talking to people, i cant make friends and everyone thinks I'm weird because I go weeks without sleeping and don't talk much but she was one of the few that didn't care about that, I could talk to her normally without any issues and she wouldn't be freaked out, she was one of a kind
>>699310931 i do value what i have i really do he is the best thing that could have happened to me, period and i know i want to be with this guy for the rest of my life, but i am drawn to that other guy because quite frankly that's the type of guy i'm attracted to he has made me feel special, and did things for me just for the sake of it, instead of me having to do stuff for someone else to please them and in the end like it because he likes is
>>699310756 i'm the one feeding of the ego though, i was the one cutting it off with the other guy because i could not stop but think about him, every time i felt alone, before going to sleep or while having sex with my bf and doing certaing things that the other guy just did better
>>699311233 i cant keep the friendship with her, I forgot to say this part sorry - - > she literally asked me not to talk to her anymore because she doesn't want him to get jealous i fucking want to off myself
>Be me 6 years ago >15 >Friends with someone that is 17 and his gf. >They are really close to me, my only friends. >I bring some spaghetti and Chicken strips to lunch >Luch time >Go with them to get our seats. >Asshole from their classroom stares at me. >"Your mom gave you lunch? Haha, you really are mommy's boy!" >Slowly start crying >He stares at me >"What's wrong? why are you crying?" >Friend pushes him off me >I say "These are my favourite, my mom used to cook them all the time for me..." >"Used to?" He asks. >Friend is going to beat the living shit out him >I answer : I made this myself, my mom died... >Break down in middle of lunch. >Friend beats the living shit out of him. >His gf takes me out of school so I can calm down. >Skip school for rest of the week. It was hard loosing my mom during my puberty, mostly beacuse I was mad at her for being an edgy faggot.
>>699310728 Well I dont think its really me not having a sense of security. Like idk. Maybe more of a lonely thing I guess? Although I am not really a lonely person. I have plenty of people in my life. But like being able to come home after a stressful day and just have all that melt away when I see her smiling face. Or going out to a drive in movie. Or even just cuddling up on the couch. Just enjoying each others presence.
to me she was everything. just stopped talking to me 2 weeks ago. i wanted to marry this girl as stupid as that souns. we're together for 3 and a half years shit started going south 4 months ago whens he got new friends. i only post on here because its the only place someone might read it. im lonely /b/ i honestly dont even want to continue on anymore she left just a figure that resembles a man.
>>699311650 Not necessarily but when you risk hurting another, you know you are on a wrong path. If your lovers are cool with each other, great, but don't hide them from each other if that's what you want: polyamory. it's the lying and hurting that needs to go
>One time Jo's friend was visiting. Poor kid was so scared of Niki she stayed near the door hiding the whole time. >Finally, I went to talk to Jo's mother. >We were on friendly terms so when I bumped into her in the laundry room I figured I should say something >I said "Hey, you seem to hang around Niki a lot.." >She smiled. "Yeah, he's a great guy!" >"Have you heard about his family?" I asked. >Her smile dropped. She nodded. "Isn't it so sad? I can't believe it. I feel so terrible for him, I couldn't imagine losing my Jo like that." >I got a little confused, and after we talked for a bit, I told her the story... >She scowled at me. "Who told you that?" >I told her one of the older residents told me. >She got angry. "I can't believe people would spread rumors like that!" >She told me the true story. >Niki's wife was sleeping with another man. >He confronted her about it >She flipped her shit and begged him not to leave her. >He said he was leaving and keeping the kids with him. >His wife went nuts. Assaulted him, cut his face with a knife, then apologized after. >He told her she needed to be gone by the time he got home from the hospital. >He came home, and found his wife had beat his daughters to death with a shovel and then slashed her own wrists. >He stayed in the apartment, cradling their dead bodies until the day police burst in. >I felt like such a piece of shit. >I immediately went to my girlfriend and told her the truth, and the next day, we started up a conversation with Niki as he tended his flowers. >He turned out to be really sweet, and kind of shy. >He was a gentle giant. last part.
>>699311917 >wish it was that easy for me anon It's as easy as you let it be. If you are getting in your own way find "safe" ways to go about it. It's always possible, it's the thought of impossibility that fucks us in the end.
>>699312300 i'm about to visit the other guy for a couple of days well not him in particular, just his city doing a sort of country trip but on my own since my bf still has studies to do
bf did tell me that it was unreasonable for me to do but yeah he asked me why i wanted to meet up with the guy again, since there was no reason to i said i needed that i guess if you love someone strong enough, you trust one another that nothing will happen i need my own freedom in a relationship you know and i guess i need that now, seeing the other guy and maybe through talking it might change things
she had a drinking problem and smoking weed problem before we met but was clean well we we're together i dont do either so it was perfect. whens he met the knew "friends" she started doing it again because they kept offering her it. she lied about it for awhile and i just should of dropped her then. but i loved her man. i ordered a ring to propose to her. waiting to hear back is i can get a refund for it. not like the money means anything. just dont want to be reminded looking at the ring. i want to kill myself because im just alone again. but it would destroy my parents. they are already upset with how im never "happy" like i use to be
>>699312198 i have no idea on how to make friends or where to find them in the first place at uni pretty much everyone sees me as a ghost cause sleeping once every 1.5 weeks makes your eyes look like a dead fish's eyes and i dont exactly have a very good background which everyone knows (i broke my hand punching a wall at 16 cause I was angry af with my dad calling me a failure) i just didn't grow up to have the best mental health, I remember being depressed since 15 and that girl was the only one who could cheer me up or make me happy, she was honestly the only reason I didn't off myself, now I don't have anyone and anything, even my family wouldn't notice if I offed myself
>That day I asked him "why do you grow flowers anyways?" >He turned to me, and I could see tears welling up in his eyes. >"I used to have two little girls, Anna and Valentina. They loved flowers, and they always asked me to get some. They passed away but I'm just praying to god that if I grow enough flowers, he might let them come down and smell them, and then I'll get to see them again." >I told him I was so sorry that he lost them, and he just shook his head. >"Everyone dies. Some just do it earlier than others." >From then on I corrected everyone who told the Niki story in my presence. And he stayed in that garden for years, teaching Jo everything he knew about growing flowers. >I learned that some days he would pick a bouquet and take them down to the old folks home for the old ladies to look at. >It's been years since I moved from that building, but I'll never forget this one moment. >I was having a smoke, and he was showing Jo how to prune the bushes and find the bad flowers that needed to be cut. >When her mother called her she hugged him, and she said "I love you Mr Niki!" >And he held this small girl, who looked about as big as a mouse in his massive arms, >and he whispered "I love you too Anna," >And the girl ran off. >Niki just sat on the ground and cried, for a good 20 minutes. I thought about offering him a smoke, but I thought that maybe he just needed to be alone with his thoughts. >Sometimes I think that maybe, in that moment, Anna really had come down to visit. >The flowers certainly did smell nice that day.
>>699312858 https://youtu.be/lvbDF6wxQdc you can alter your sleep patterns anon. depression may need some meds but maybe not. Depression is usually anger turned inward so maybe try that approach to ridding yourself of it.
>>699312858 >even my family wouldn't notice if I offed myself okay now this shit has to stop. those thoughts need you saying out loud with your mouth "shut the FUCK UP" they don't deserve your very attention. My husband shot himself because of unchecked schizophrenia and he may still be stuck there. You don't want that, and you don't want to hurt those you refuse to realize do care for you in this life.
>>699313171 can't alter, I've had this routine since im 10, melatonin only works in very large doses, 4 pills make me sleep but I really don't want to become a slave of melatonin pills I tried altering it but to no avail
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