>>696785077 I almost drove myself to the middle of nowhere until my tank hit E to shoot myself in the heart. My anxiety and depression is overwhelming and I can't take the pain. The only reason why I'm trudging along is the hope of a family some day.
>23 >never had friends or boyfriend >cliché story, got bullied through school >not fat or anything, but went to 5 different schools >got bullied for being too fast on the track, too smart in history and culture >decided it was okay, I was fine without friends >graduated, finished my education, still lonely as fuck >looking back, I wasted my teenage years >didn't party, didn't mess around with boys, didn't have anything that normal teens have >telling myself it's okay, but it's not >seeing people getting married and having kids and that shit >the fuck am I doing? >working every shift until the day is gone >crying on /b/ like a little bitch
Girlfriend broke up with me couple weeks ago... Haven't been here for over a year but this just knocked me back down... Wasn't even a long relationship, only a month, but it was my first... Gotten to the point where I don't feel anything anymore... Just holding on for those little moments where I can sometimes get a laugh out of friends... What the fuck do I do...
>>696788591 You find ways to put time between you and your breakup. Generally you just want to put yourself in situations where you don't have time to think about it by going out more, or getting a new hobby, maybe make some drastic changes in your life for the better. Now would be a good time for changes since you know that what you got isn't quite good enough.
If you escape to a new hobby or change your life around you will be in a better position to keep the girl around next time.
>>696787718 >Be me, almost 20. >Always hung out with the smart kids because also fairly smart. >All my friends go to college or uni. >Never did any work in school, got shit marks, never got grade 12 math, but still graduated. >Now working minimum wage for Subway with no plans for higher education while all my friends go on to do something with their lives. >Realize I will never amount to anything significant.
>fall in love with a girl >become friends with her >feelsgoodman.jpg >Decide to ask her out on Dec. 31 >Midnight on Dec. 30 >her friend texts me Anon do you like (name)? >yes Well I have bad news for you. >sends me a screenshot of crush shit talking me "He's an autistic little shit eww >pure fucking rage envelopes me >fucking rage at her for two hours >throw phone down in disgust >can't sleep A few months later >she texts me Anon do you remember when we were friends? >my response Nope >dropsmic.gif We haven't spoken in years.
I was really close. Wrote a suicide note and everything. It was just a trigger pull away. Just a few millimeters of movement. I just want to hit the restart button. I need too. I just don't want my family to deal with my mess. Fuck me. There is no good reason for me too off myself. My problems are petty.
>23 >Schizophrenic >nobody can really tell >sit alone all day every day until my roommate gets home, only person I can really chill with >Always want to go out and do stuff >never do, end up pacing across the room arguing with myself saying "just go" >end up sitting back down an waiting more >happens multiple times every day >still have friends, ask me to go out alot >always say, "nah, i'm good" >really want to go, but don't >drink alone and convince myself they wouldn't want me there anyway >repeat daily >losing sense of self, just want to be normal again because I don't even remember what it feels like, or what I used to be like, and it really bums me out sometimes
>>696790512 You are literally at the lowest point of your life, nothing to lose right? So throw yourself at situations and give everything a go. What could go wrong? You were going to be dead yesterday so could it be any worse?
Also, I try. It just doesn't work that way. I get overcome with immense fear and auditory hallucinations, and don't want to freak out in front of anyone. I don't know if it'll even happen, but do I take the chance? My mind always says no, and I don't have any control over it like a normal person.
>>Be with girl almost 4 years >>live with for 2 >>relationship is kinda boring, she never wanted to go out anywhere, just sat on her laptop after work til she fell asleep >>last 3 months of she's mean, withdrawn, starts going out and making friends >>Im proud as shit she's finally getting out of the house >>hang tough like a trooper while she doesn't invite me to go out >>finally sit her down and make her tell me what's going on >>she was gonna break up and literally skip town on valentines >> 4 years of loving a broken person wasted
It took her 2 days to get fucked by some random dude at a bar after we broke up.
>cut off communication with a bunch of people >including a love interest >happy with the bliss that comes from a b.s free day >start to get a little bored >few months later new love interest >it's fine but then I get bored of them >still friends tho >bit later try to be a bit more social >join into a new friend group >they seem a+ >drama happens group splits >I get a couple of close friends >develop a crush >tell myself "anon, they're not worth it, way too much work" >crush goes on but i'm fine >staying friends the person, repressing crush feelings but here is my prob anons >one day everything is fine, talk for hours with no lame bit in conversation,funny stuff >next day one of us gets upset over petty shit and we don't talk for hours/days >fed up and want to purge them off my friendslist sorry, needed to get it off my chest
>be 39...yeah, I'm old >have a wife, house, car, truck, all the typical things >also have anxiety and depression >family pretty much ignores me even at Christmas and birthdays >consider suicide daily, only thing stopping me is my cat >wife hates it, cat follows me everywhere >hate to say it but its my only friend >know wife would get rid of it if I checked out, cat deserves a great home >keep fighting the demons because afraid cat would be put down >pathetic AF
>Be me, 18 >Playing guitar for 8 years >Been trying to write music for 2 years >Cannot for the life of me think of something original, musically or lyrically >2 years pass, not a single song written >Realize I spent time I should have been practicing/writing just learning other people's songs, poorly >Now in the middle position where I'm not original enough to be a songwriter, but also not good enough to be a session musician >Best friend of 4 years picks up the guitar in Sophmore year of High School >Writes like 25 different catchy songs in a year >I spend Senior year producing/recording his music, sometimes adding drums and bass >Everybody loves it >All the credit goes to him >Feel like he's either just using me until he gets all of the stuff he needs for recording music, or just doesn't like me anymore >Still haven't been able to write music since then >Feel like everything I want to say with music has been said already, and better than I could ever do >Feel like I wasted my teenage years >Considering quitting music all together and selling every instrument I have >Spending my off time now regretting life choices, living in a routine lifestyle, and playing games online >Got about 3 real friends to talk to, and each time I do, I feel like they're just drifting apart from me and I'm gonna end up by myself in a few months >Have no other skills to fall back on besides music >Stuck in hometown >Going to a lower than average college for a major that I don't know if I'll enjoy >Emotionally drained, nothing really bothers/excites me anymore >Just fucking exausted. >Fuck me, I'm just scared at this point
Not much of a relatable story, just needed to get some shit out.
>>696792757 Have you ever considered that you believeing that your family ignores you is just your perception being warped by the depression and anxiety? I've gone through some pretty hard depression periods before and that's exactly how I perceived people around me. You're their father, I highly doubt that's really how it is. Please see someone, for their sake.
Everyone will upset you or get upset by you at some point. It's just dogs barking. Let it happen. keep walking. Either they'll get over it and things will be cool later, or they won't and they're douches you don't need in your life.
>Hey /b/ I have this friend that I met in 8th grade after I had switched schools. It was around the middle of the school year, I had went to gym class and was sitting on the bleachers because am fag and I saw this kid and started talking to him and little did i know he would become a very good friend. After that day we would talk more and eventually I started sitting with him at lunch and other friends(Before him i just sat by myself). I didn't know anybody at this school before him so was pretty boring anyways he created my humor that I have now. It is the end of the school year and high school was next for didn't really care what school I would go to but coincidentally i saw him like the 3rd day of school can't remember, and for a while it was just us two again. Also on that same day I was sitting in first period writing down stuff on my notebook when all of a sudden someone knocks on the door the teacher opens the door and this girl walks in and she seemed familiar to me like really familiar, she introduces herself and says "my name is Michelle" at that moment I remembered where I had seen her before and she was one of my old elementary school friends. She picks her seat next to mine and after that day we stated talking and became friends again. We would sometimes hang out after school with other friends and go to the mall and stuff, some days passed and we started having more people or our friends friends sit there. Everything went okay the first year(freshman year). Then came sophomore year and that was the year it would all change. Anyways year started and I saw most of my friends including Eric(the same one from middle school), school started around the middle of August and everything was okay for a couple of months until around early November which was when i started talking to a girl named Galaxy, and then i slowly started to talk to her more than Michelle. Me and Michelle only had one class together which was band and lunch and at lunch galaxy would sit
She chose valentines day specifically to try and fuck with you hopefully she'll date some abusive asshole and realize she fucked up. >Dated a girl for about a year knew her for 2 >Super needy stops me seeing friends and would cry and self harm if I did >She would always go out >Try to break up with her a few times but don't because didn't want her to kill herself >Hear from her best friend she flirts with guys a lot >Some other sketchy stuff happens to make me think she cheated >Break up with her fuck it if she kills herself >Gets with some dude the very same fucking day day >Looks like kermit the frog fucking eyes pointing in different directions
My story is hardly as bad as yours my man but you sound like a genuinely cool dude fuck her
>Been involved with a few women after her >One went full rage mode on me out of nowhere so I blocked her >One out of nowhere changed her mind >One decided she would rather be with her pedophile abusive ex instead of me >Ex was allowed to move on and be happy even though she was abusive
>>696793398 I only wish. I've tried to connect and do things but they could care less. I tried "buying their love" but they only complain I didn't get the right thing or some shit.
Work 50-60 hours a week, picking up OT whenever I can so they have the things I never did as a kid: a room of their own, toys, no second hand clothes and shoes, an education, and some money for college. I don't want to be like my dad, a hardass who thought belittling his children would build character.
To those of you who question life each day, choose it. I chose it on February 2, 2009. My life was a wreck, family disowned me, no job no friends, all that. I drove myself out to an empty rest stop near a bridge and walked the path so many did before me. But I didn't finish what I started. I chose life and I'm thankful for it today. I have a steady job a roof under my head, and I made an effort to find friends. This life has meaning and it's for you to better yourself and those around you. Take care Anons.
>>696793178 hope you dont sold them. Dont be a faggot, you just need to write some songs, atleast you know how to play at those instruments, but I understand that music industry is very volatile. In your place i look for something clear that will make money and make music a passion.
HOLY SHIT you are a TEENAGER, you still have so much ahead of you, and yet you want to feel bad because you're judging your life by the the way others live theirs. The fact of the matter is you can change this completely. Keep working, go to a community college, save up some cash and find something you enjoy or at least are good at and persue it, transfer to a uni and get a degree or persue a trade, but this isnt all for education, you will MEET PEOPLE. The friends you had were cool, but most people in your life will only be around for awhile,so dont feel sad when they go, cause they have the same perception of you. Most importantly, stop phrasing your life the way you are right now. You make it sound like everything is done forever and you can't change it. You can though, just try. I believe in you :)
>>696793426 lool Er, let me try to rewrite it. >not very social to begin with, don't stay friends with people for very long, cause I don't do the whole "close bonding" thing >in a big friend group >bunch of little shits >cut off communication with all of them >including a love interest I was involved with who was also in the group >happy with the b.s free days >start to get bored with the lack of social life >get into another friend group >things are going well, they seem a+ >drama occurs, the group splits up >still friends with a few >begin to become close friends >develop a crush on one of them >tell myself "anon, they're not worth it, way too much work" >I still retain some feelings, but go on just fine >with these few friends it's a headache, because I can feel alone in a room full of people (our mini group chat) >with one I'm close friends with, we can talk for hours and have a great conversation, funny, repressed crush feelings on them >then one of us gets upset/mad/irritated about a petty issue, and it strains us, and we stop talking for hours/days >getting fed up and honestly want to purge them off the friendslist >but it's not like I have 60 other friends
>>696795118 Honestly, I have. Like loading up my most prized possessions in a couple totes, grab my clothes, toss the shit in the bed of the truck, load up my cat, and fucking take off to go live in some desolate one room cabin.
Guys, I think I am in love with a girl. I'm going into my sophomore year in HS and I am wondering the best way not to get hurt. I have never dated before and this is the first time I have ever had feelings this strong.
>>696794598 >Work 50-60 hours a week, picking up OT whenever I can
Well there's your problem. You're not around at all and you think buying them things is the answer. Truth is, you don't need much in life to be happy. LIke seriously, you don't need much at all and I know its gonna sound corny but the best things in life are free. It doesn't cost much to take your kids out to the park and as long as the clothes don't look second hand nobody gives a fuck.
Also, your dad had the right idea but probably took it too far. Your doing your best to provide for your family so he got something right.
>>696794276 Bro what the fuck, are you in 6th grade? Every sentence is a run on, and there's not paragraphing. When green texting. You dont make the whole block green, you make the story into short chunks and greentext each chunk
>>696794598 I see, but please man see someone about this, they could help you start turning this around or at least help damage control, dont take your life though, cause all that support for your family is gone, think about that commitment to giving them a better childhood than you did.
>>696795518 im 31 by the way. married with 2 kids. so you should do it. your life is to short to fucking waste it. you married her. everybody make mistakes. that dont mean you have to kill yourself or vegetate like that forever. your free do act like it. get your shit together and leave this mess behind. i know the beginning will be hard but dont look back it only gets better
>>696795903 The amount of times I've announced that I'm underage on this site is way too many, I doubt I will get banned this time. I really would appreciate if someone helped with my problem though...
>>696795675 Yeah but bills don't pay themselves. And putting enough away to have a decent retirement costs mucho money. Toss a couple college tuition's in there as well. And all of a sudden, working 40 or less hours means something or somebody is going to go without.
>>696789691 Then make an effort to change for your family. I don't know the circumstances of your family situation, but generally, your family loves you and should be willing to accept you no matter what. My older brother was the black sheep of the family. He drank, had several failed marriages, ignored his kids, and even did crack at one point. But we never abandoned him, even will all the shit he put us through. He eventually turned his life around, and got a steady job and started spending regular time with his children and family. He passed away in a car accident a few years ago, and it wasn't until I lost him that I realized just how much I love and missed him. And I am glad my last memories of him were of a man who was working hard and trying to prove himself. I would hope that your family would see the same things in you, and would be just as devastated if you were to die. Just a word of advice too: you have a long time in your life to make up for mistakes. My older brother was forty-one when he died. And I am glad that my last memories of him were of someone who worked hard, loved his family, and was trying to do right by them. It's never to late to change.
> I'm suicidal > I have completely withdrawn socially > I panic around large groups > Can barely even leave my house > I don't trust my parents, for no reason > I don't trust anyone, really > fantasize about mass murder > Hate everything about myself > No motivation > No confidence > physically abuse my siblings > don't stand up for myself > irationally hate gays and transgenders > Constantly go on about the same subjects, annoying all around me > Can't hold a normal conversation >been to 9 different schools, move schools nearly each year.
What's wrong with me? I used to be pretty average, had some relationship troubles, a year later I'm like this.
>>696793178 Keep at it nigga, like you said, youve got nothing else going for you, im in the same boat and it definitely is tough as fuck, but nigga you can use those songs you produced to show people how good you are at producin and in the meantime learn songwriting. Or you could co write music with someone, thats a great way to learn too
>be me a neet >did online school since sophemore >never talk to anyone >have severe social anxiety and depression >don't know how to talk to people at all >can't even talk to people on facebook or multiplayer games >at least i have neetbux
>>696796008 I understand that loud and clear. And I wish I could see into the future to see how this plays out. It's just nobody cares. Oh hey, its dad. He doesn't care if we talk shit about him. And his feelings? He's a grown fucking man. Suck it up asshole. Now where's my new IPhone. And the girl is 16 and the boy is 15.
>>696796100 Honestly, I've fully writen out three plans I keep in my locker at work. I've gotten them memorized!
Plan A: Check out, leave everything to whoever wants it Plan B: load up truck, yada yada yada, become "that crazy cat dude that lives by himself in the old Smith place.....you kids don't stare now! Oh god he's walking this run, roll up the windows!" Plan C: Status Quo
>>696797535 plan B sounds good dont run like the cops are after you. keep your dignity. your pride is all you have so leave proud at least she should think like that. youll be a mess at least at the beginning bit it gets better. and never leave your possessions behind. it belongs to you and she have to aknowledge that. but dont fight over small things neither. then get your ass up and leave. abd dont stay alone. your 39 not 70. you will find a new partner and in 15 years youll ask yourself why you didnt do it earlier. so get the plan moving. only planing gets you nowhere
>Summer of last year >finally getting my shit together >lost my virginity, transitioning from a community college to a university >go to university and essentially completely break down >call home every night and usually end up crying >drop out mid semester, move back in with my parents and vow to work until next semester and go back to community college >pussy out of every job because depression amd anxiety >finally go on antidepressants and everything normalizes >start new semester, realize that antidepressants fuck with my motivation to do anything >fail a class that should have been easy >resolve to get off antidepressants by summer >this summer comes by and I'm off of them >one of the best summers of my life, no job, no money, but no responsibilities >finally starting to feel happy again, like truly happy with my life >wake up in the early afternoon and play vidya until early morning >start getting sick of having now money so I start back afternoon my old job last Monday >I start getting the anxiety again and can't enjoy anything anymore >just started back on the antidepressants on a half dose tonight to hopefully fend off the anxiety long enough to at least make some money
>>696792085 Have a girlfriend story just like that. 3 years and suddenly she drops me to go bang some pothead dropout. Still waiting on that karma to circle back. Won't hold back a laugh when she has a stillborn child
>>696798469 So honestly, I do like it. But I need to ask the rest of you this:
Let's say I bolt. 1. DO I tell my wife? Leave a note? Call her? Instagram it? 2. My personal belongings could fit in 2 or 3 of those plastic totes. And maybe a tote or two of tools. All I got I care about. Do I just say here, keep the shit or burn it. 3. What about the kids. Does it fuck them up dad split town or do I throw gas on the fire by saying WHY I left. 4. I can write of the money. The kids college funds are in my name as is our savings since I started it. Do I yank it all and buy what I want or what. 5. Do I even tell anybody where I moved to. I do know a reaaaallllllyyyyyy small cabin style house with land and a small fishin' pond for sale a decent distance away.
>>696798783 sorry let me explain > i fell in love >date with her a couple of times > a month ago her ex come back > he said he wanna come back with her > she say yes > she forget about me > hurts a lot see how she kiss him > hurts more listen her telling everyone about how happy she feell about he comeback > i quit yes i know im a pathetic
>>696798724 I don't think they would. But I always try to make people laugh. Dude's I work with know they can never be in a bad mood. Just to bad they don't know that every day, a little of me is dying.
>>696799531 first of all i said leave. but i didnt mean leave your kids. NEVER you hear me NEVER leave your kids. yes tell her. talk with her in best case you find a solution. in worst case you start new. but again... never leave your kids. and bring your belongings. how far would be this new location you mentioned?
>>696787718 Stop being a crying bitch what's called normal are only standards that people make up to describe a time of their life is something made up is not even real anyway you're only 23 i am 24 all of my ex's are either pregnant married or fat with kids i don't wish any of that kids at this age are for depressed people that are not able to live on their own and they give up so they want kids to live through them and if you have kids you'll end up putting alot of expectations on them stressing them up and ruining their lifes Kids are not the answer to a depressed life if you dont wanna ruin those kids lifes
>>696797535 If your kids don't respect you then its time to let them know what happens when they don't respect the hand that feeds them.
Your dad may have been a jerk but it really did build character. A doormat parent is much worse than a jerk dad because well... now the world is stuck with entitled shits and those shits are probably going to fail hard at life because they don't want to work for anything.
If nothing else, you only have to keep them around for the next two or so years so may as well do whatever. Probably a lost cause by now. Plan B is always an option. You can let the adult world teach them to not be entitled.
>23 >only 3 semesters more and finish my career. >the more I get into my career the more I hate it. >not having the balls for change it or leave it. >have enjoyed life in a lots of aspects. >still depressive and anxius. >the only thinks that keeps me alive is my relatives and the hope of having a family someday.
>be me, 23 ginger scrub currently >younger scrubme has shit childhood >drunken beatings constantly with no legal help >decent family member let me move in >all decent family members die within 3 year peroid >back home to beatings but groth spurt comes in hot >tfw bigger than abusive dad, says fuck that stand up >knows he cant fuck with me anymore.shows some respect >immediate family grows apart >dad commits suicide by hanging >mom cant handle situation it looks like i gotta untie the old man >something snaps in 15 yo scrub head. now a husk of the lad remains >beer and thoughts of joining the pops keeps me in a sad state >limited friends no love. care too much for people not enough for self. >one day scrub man will deliver
>>696799531 Hey man, as much as I want to help you with this grand escape plan, you can't run from your problems.
You have kids after all. I know you love them, even if you hate your wife.
Drop this on her fast. Book a motel, don't tell anybody where you're going. Pack your things quickly, take the kitty and get a lawyer and file for divorce. Stay the fuck away from her so she can't claim abuse or other bullshit
What you do with your money is your choice, I hope you can pull it like you describe so your wife can't suck it from you. The worst you'll have to pay is child support and will have to work with joint custody.
But really, you can't go stone cold on the kids. They won't understand
>>696787486 Don't listen to them anon.Once I had the courage of killing myself and I choose not to for clinging to false hope someone gave me now I can't do it and I regretted it ever since. It doesn't get better, anon it never does.
>>696785077 If I don't believe in god or an after life; what's to live for? If I don't have family or friends who are there for me; how do I know who to lean on when I feel upset? If I don't feel any sympathy for anything because once you're dead you're dead; how do I feel like there's more to my life to get up or go to work?
>>696801297 Gotta be honest to you faggot you cant have strong feelings for someone if you haven't date that person to the point where you both know eachother and you feel you trust her and she trusts you So you saying that you have strong feelings for someone you don't fucking date it's just bullshit you just like her because of the titties
>be me 18 senior year >been in love with this girl all 4 years of highschool >my friend decides to date her in junior year and it fucked me up >they get into a big fight in summer >she comes to me crying >saying hes no good and that she wants to be happy >wraps her arms around me >kiss her and my wolrd went into perfection mind you i have had sex but this was legit love making no lie i played careless whisper and everything >one month passes and she starts acting strange >talking to friend again fml >she ignores me for 2 days >call her 3 times and she says leave her alone >starting to freak and panic >call her a bunch more begging to pic up >she answers says im crazy and manipulative. >never speaks to me again
>>696798890 Same guy >read about neets in japan >essentially living the same life as I was this summer but with money from parents >get immensely jealous >don't even get me started on twitch streamers and let's players
How pathetic is it that I get jealous of people that literally have nothing
The only reason I don't live that life is because I would hate to be a burden on anyone and collecting neetbucks would make me a burden on the system and everyone would think less of me.
>>696800099 Never said I would leave the kids out. But do I tell them WHY. And new place would be 40-ish miles away. I live 20 miles north of work. New place is 20 miles south of work.
>>696800371 TYVM. If I were to split, I'd talk to the bank and see about putting their names on the account and when they turn 18, up to them if they wanna use it for college or buy a car if they get a scholarship.
>>696800505 And I've also thought about that. Like just going God of War on their asses, and taking it all and drinking my beer from their fucking emoji cups and then setting it on fire. And being this real hard ass......even though I'm not. But I wonder if I could keep the act up for the next 2-3 years. I'm a nice and guy and despite my job, everybody knows I'm not some hard ass SOB.
>>696795521 Im gonna ignore the fact youre underage and give you some help, women have the power to envoke emotions in you that can put you on top of the world but for how far up you feel remember thats how far you fall once she's gone but you're young so don't let what I'm saying prevent you from getting out there because you may not figure it out for a while but the high is worth the low
>>696802024 4 years in love with a girl and not saying anything your friend didn't fuck you up you cowardly did faggot and She only fucked you because she was sad and vulnerable and you ended up making a relationship out of it and she was to nice to tell you to fuck off that it was just sex from the beginning to dont hurt your feelings but she got sick of it now
I'm in love with my best friend. She's in a happy relationship. I told her I loved her.
"Anon why did you tell me that? You already know how I feel."
"I just wanted to hear you say it"
"Anon you need some sleep. I'll text you tomorrow okay? Goodnight."
I'm dreading tomorrow. I don't want to talk. I made her uncomfortable. I made her unhappy. I just want to kill myself. She is literally all I have and I don't know what I'll do if this causes me to lose her
>>696801779 Actually, never said I hate my wife. Seems everybody hates me. Just tired of being walked over and not a single fucker caring. And it wouldn't be an issue with the money. When I started the retirement, she waived her rights to it since she has a fat bloated 401K and I can't touch it. But the kids is free game and she wouldn't touch it or fight for it. Honestly, if I left, as long as she keeps her car and the house and her pension, she would let me walk.
>>696801818 Whoa, not sure about that. Drop bears and shit.
Plus I really love my job and the guys I work with.
I have no education and need to go to college to get basic maths and english because my school banned me from doing my tests because I would bring down test scores or something so now I have to go to college to do them but anxiety and depression is fucking my anus
I went to college once and had a mental collapse and I'm afraid it will happen again :/
I'm totally jealous that you have the strength to keep going
>>696801395 Okay, here goes. Sorry about wait took a while to type
>Be me >Meet girl through friends gf >Hit it off well, get her number >See her next day, hangout >As she leaves I walk her out and we kiss, she says she wants to take this slow >Fast Forward, take her on date, goes well >Ask her out when I drop her off, she says yes >Get home to a text from her saying she was nervous in the car and said yes, wants to get to know me before dating me. made it clear she wasn't friendzoning me or anything like that
Ever since then I haven't held a long conversation with her. Brought it up to her and she said she has just been busy with work and college, and I haven't done anything wrong.
Still haven't been able to get to her through text, but she has time to use instagram and snapchat.
>take wife to hospital >shes giving birth >i patiently wait outside >hear doors open >footsteps coming down the long hallway >this is it >hear mumbled talk and laughter >just as they are about to turn the corner the laughter turns into them trying to shush each other >doctor and his assistants turn the corner holding the newborn >doctor has tears rolling down his eyes >hes smiling so i guess from laughter but why would >"Congrats, its a boy" >It's pitch black >Me and my wife are both white
and that was the day i almost killed myself. now i'm here, on the edge, waiting for something else to give me that push needed to tip over..
>>696791156 I feel your pain, not that I'm schitzo or anything. Just that I lack the ability to make any real emotional connection with people. Usually I just fake it to not look like an asshole or be socially acceptable. Keeps me single but I guess it saves me money.
>be me >12, on kongregate (fag shit ik) >meet girl named Shelby >very nice, shit clicks instantly between us, end up being in a relationship >for however young we were we handled it maturely and never actually let our parents find out about it >would also like to make it clear that she lived in MI and I was in MA >add each other on Facebook, Twitter, etc etc >eventually we learn everything about each other and that she is a) depressed b) self harms and all that emo shit >3 years later >grows softball sized cyst on her ovary >has to get it surgically removed >shit hits the fan, and since we're really close this impacts me in a large way >become very sad and feel lost >end up developing chronic depression, on antidepressants >doing shit in school bc waiting until I can talk to her >she took over my life and ukno I was fine with it >meet her friend Garrett >Garrett was one cool motherfucker >very supportive, funny, down to earth and all around just one of the best people I've ever known >fast forward, we've become good friends and he's been there for Shelby since her childhood. they are almost like siblings >all of a sudden Garrett develops skin cancer >everything plummets, Shelby is a wreck, I know it's terminal while she doesn't and I'm gonna have to tell her >we collectively break the news over FaceTime >February 16, 2014, Garrett dies >in the hospital he developed lung cancer which shortened his time from a few weeks to hours >chokes to death on the tumors in his lungs >one of my best friends >Shelby needs support physically, as she is still self harming her family doesn't care and she has put herself in the hospital before >don't want it to happen again >a friend of Garrett's, Alex, moves in >later on he becomes very tight friends with Shelby >one night they fuck >twice >play tonsil hockey afterwards for hours >she means so much to me that I stay after the fact Cont.
>>696803345 >mfw it would be boob jobs so the daughter can start stripping to "pay for college" and to get a tramp stamp and tell people how her daddy left and if they wanna be her new daddy >mfw it would be the boy blowing it all to discover himself by backpacking through Euroland...only to come back and become a furry >mfw there is no face to show how disappointed in them I would be
>>696785077 i was watching tanaka-kun when there was a scene where they purchased pancakes. i spent the entire day trying to get pancakes. i asked everyone to makes me some. just now a recaptcha asked me to select the pancakes. i want pancakes soo much ;-;
Ever since I was a kid, I've had this overwhelming feeling that I want to go home. Stupid emo shit, I know. I turn 30 next year, and I still haven't found a place that feels like home, including the home I bought myself.
I've kind of been considering that maybe home is in the afterlife, and if not, I'll be dead and I won't feel this way anymore.
>>696803945 >eventually shit just gets out of control >lots of fighting, arguing, etc. >all long distance and we're getting more busy now >day of our anniversary, December 22nd, I finally make the call and break up with her >be me now >1.5ish years later >new friends, more social but I can't even feel love anymore >nothing but constant pain >I miss her so much and fucked up so hard but it was such a toxic relationship >resort to alcohol >drown myself in it >I remember the nights on my porch with Jack and smokes just unable to cry because I can't feel without her >room filled with bottles >can't make a change >contemplate suicide, try >fail >off antidepressants >now living with no chance of a decent life bc of how bad I just forgot about what I need to do to exist properly Guys, I fucked up. I don't know where to go from here. I'm lost.
I have 3 friends, one ex girlfriend and I've done absolutely nothing for the past 2 years. I stay locked up in my room and play vidya while in-between jobs everyday. I rarely go outside to meet new people because of an extreme case of social anxiety. I don't get any sleep because of my insomnia. My dreams hurt, and I wake up at around 2 am in a cold sweat every night and cannot get back to sleep.
I start university in half a month, but I feel no motivation and have too much anxiety about showing up.
I want to die, but I love my family too much to put that pain on them.
>>696804346 We do care about the girlfriend/relationship problems. Extreme love has the potential to turn into extreme sadness, especially because they are opposites. Newton had a law about actions and reactions. Relationships bring much hope and joy to our lives, and it can be taken away at a moment's notice. Trust me, I have been through it, the girl who I fell in love with a while ago is not the same girl who I see now.
The reason you see many stories about relationships is because that is the situation almost everyone can relate to, no matter their upbringing.
Also, never touching a girl in your life is partly your fault, don't blame normies.
>>696803783 Youe projecting your own insecurities on me faggot maybe that's why she told you you are a manipulative fag anyway if you're afraid of being alone is your problem not mine i like being alone it was my own decision i left my family to live near college I've lived with ex's gfs but it didn't work out i needed my own space And I'm using my phone this is the time of the day when i lurk on /b/
>haven't left the house in a bit >people text/call me but I just either don't respond or let it go to voicemail >spent all of today watching sports and ignoring everyone else >can't stop feeling sad and I'm not sure why
>gf gets done sucking my dick >cuddle with her after >she gets up and goes to get something >its a present >wow u remembered my birthday woohoo >open it >it's a half heart locket, she has the other half heart locket >i laid hints all week specifically so she would get me a vidya i been wanting >i got a necklace
sigh...if life could give me a break just once and go my way....but it never does
>>696796730 I used to be like this for a long long time I only recently got over my anxiety. You can't hold a normal conversation about normal subjects because you've been in social isolation and you aren't doing normal things that people talk about. Even though it's hard at first call some people up that you know or make some friends or something and make small talk. Don't worry about what you talk about, just talk. "What kind of music do you listen to?" "Seen any good movies lately?" Etc. it comes naturally after awhile.
>>696804870 I'm in the same boat as you. Except I found out that a year and a half of good memories was all just a mask of lies. She abused me psychologically, mentally and sometimes physically. I hated every second I was with her and it turns out she was sleeping with another guy throughout our relationship.
And you know what the worst part is? I feel broken without her.
>>696804833 If she rejects you, just know that it's inevitable, and it'll hurt, but it's like ripping off a bandaid. It hurts, but the quicker you do it the quicker it'll be over with. Getting rejected by someone you have feelings for is awful. Happened to me and I was miserable for quite a bit. But sometimes bad shit happens and you can't avoid it.
>>696805522 I've been like this for a long time. We all have. There's no escape. I have clinical depression and want to die every day. This is why we get so pissed at you people. It must be nice to have had sex.
>>696804148 I feel like I want to give her a chance because I get this feeling that she isn't intending for this to happen. her friend (the gf of my friend) described her to me as shy but nice when you get to know her, and she wasn't wrong.
I just feel like if you have time to post to your instagram and snapchat story you should be able to answer a text. She even goes into the group kik chat (rare occasion) and talks with everyone there, but usually incredibly briefly, like tonight.
I just don't like the feeling of being ignored you know? Like if this is going to end poorly, I would of been much better off if she had just told me straight up that something happened/I screwed up and stopped there, but now I'm being tugged into uncertainty.
>>696805771 Never said I had sex. But I can see why you haven't, kinda an asshole. 4chan is also very diverse, I wouldn't associate all of the site's users with you, unless you are talking about the stereotypical user.
It was completely toxic and she treated me like shit and sometimes I regret having dropped her
But more often than not I'm glad I did
Anon what that girl did to you was way worse than what my girl did to me the fact that she fucked that cunt twice then made out with him says a lot it says that like every other female she is a selfish cunt and only cares about herself
I don't mean to be harsh but anon you're better off without her you should never regret getting out of there. You didn't fuck up.
Truth is you will miss her for a while just like I did and just like >>696805599 does
But there WILL be others and maybe they will be more special
Just don't get caught in the trap of regret. I've been there and it sucks.
>>696806604 You are forgiven, it's alright. You can leave, but I know its hard. Get rid of your computer if you have to, honestly. It will get you some good money too. You don't want to die, not yet, you aren't finished.
>>696787486 Fuck it man I've always wondered why if you are suicidal and all that why not just go and do something that every one is afraid of be amazing either in death by trying or by accomplishing something that others were to afraid to do
>be me >15, freshman year >in marching band because I'm fairly beta >see cute girl, prolly 8/10 a year above me Let's call her H Skip ahead a bit >next year I end up near her during one of the football games >we were in the bleachers with the band, h sat behind me. >we start talking, I pull out my phone and open snapchat >she grabs my phone and adds herself >happiness >we hang out at every football game, I get her number. H regularly takes my phone every once in a while to take snapchat selfies like typical high school idiots >she draws a heart on one >i figure she's just joking around >I find out she's not only talking to me, but also to someone in her grade who's on the football team >fuck >I'm not as good as this dude >homecoming is coming up >he asks her to the dance >I figure it's whatever, maybe they're just going as friends >overhear H say to a friend that she and him made out >muh heart >still friends with her, if she's happy with him then I'm happy >they date for like 5 months, we stay friends the whole time >one day I'm talking to one of my friends in the hall (lets call my friend "L") >L basically starts talking shit about H's boyfriend "Why is H dating him? He's so fucking ugly" >I completely agree but don't say anything >say something along the lines of "jeez, that's a little harsh" >notice one of H's friends watching me and my friend. Don't think anything of it. >all of a sudden me and H's snapchat streak ends. >snapchat her a few times and she doesn't send anything back >eventually get her to reply, I ask her what I did to upset her >still no reply >I eventually get her to tell me "I just don't think it's right for you and L to be talking about me and my boyfriend behind my back" >I'm so confused >realize what she means >explain that I didn't say anything >she says she's not mad (obviously mad) >stops talking to me altogether. >she snapchats me a couple nights later and we go back and forth for a bit, but that's it.
>be me >18; graduated high school last May >known what I want to go into for the past two years >I wanna go into publishing; be an editor >do it unprofessionally for the past two years >even get some pretty good future contacts for the future >feelsgoodman.jpg >this summer >depression hits me >just want to leave home >going up north for college in less than a month >have thought about just leaving and not coming back because home life sucks >but I want to stay because of college >few days ago >realize that editing (as a hobby) has lost its spark >I start to think that I'll regret majoring in Professional Writing >want to change my college shit, but I still wanna do this >now I'm conflicted on what I wanna do >just want to leave home already >entire family sucks >I try to open up to some irl friends >they seem to not give a fuck >too much of a betafag to talk to anyone else about this shit >the fuck do I do?
>fall in love with girl that lives far away >she says and acts like she feels the same, but acts weird every now and then and pushes me away >I'm always coming and going on her emotional rollercoaster and I'm hopelessly in love >afraid she'll give up on me for not being interesting enough
>>696807583 >Virgin. Pay a hooker >Small dick. Same boat anon there's nothing we can do yet medical progress will tell the future >No gf. Is not that hard to get one if you put a bit of efford on looking for one >Roommates are cokeheads. Move on >But I love my job! Well at least
>>696785077 >24 >suffer from Bipolar I disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, PTSD, Intermittent Explosive Disorder, and Impulse Control Disorder. >never went to college >virgin >hardly any job experience >take roughly 10 pills per day to manage my illnesses. >wish that I was never diagnosed bipolar or any of this shit or else I'd have joined the military or the state police/county police >family doesn't understand that I can't control my impulsivity and explosiveness >flipped out on my sister over fucking politics >called her a fucking terrorist because she's a white girl that converted to Islam.
Good news is that I paid for both of my own cars, my Xbox One, my MacBook Air, and all of the games I own. Bad news is, Division of Vocational Rehabilitation doesn't really want to help me find a career.
I want to work on computers. My fucking DVR counselor wants me to go to "college" and get a "degree" like every sheep out there but I can't stand fucking people and hate college campuses.
Another thread where weak willed crybaby faggots bitch about a made up disease like depression talking about how bad they have it living with their parents not having to worry about bills. No thanks. These threads are omega faggotry at its finest. Die nameless plebs.
You're like what, 19? I wouldn't worry too much about your awkward moment. She's not interested, either learn how to be friends or stop talking to her. You're most likely friendzoned. Hard. So the chances of digging the way out of your sexless, emotionally one sided relationship are pretty much nothing for now.
>>696808075 My point is that it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You say you lost and you will have lost. Luckily there is always there present where anything is happened. You can win, you just need the drive to take up the opportunities.
>>696808308 Hah. Would you ruin me with your tears? Cry more you teenaged faggot. Don't forget I like my milk double bagged when you're bagging my groceries. Have fun being inferior to me in every way.
>>696807752 I have been thinking about doing that too, there is a chance I may see her tomorrow, since our group is having an outing to get together.
I'm hoping I haven't been looking needy/pushy, I did send texts when she didn't respond, but they were spaced because I know she is busy. They have been innocent texts, for example just trying to start a conversation or asking what she was doing next week.
>>696808726 Not now you don't, but you can acquire it. Making your life worth living is totally your choice. Sadly, its getting late and I must go before I start to get in over my head. Good luck. Please keep an open mind.
>>696808639 So from that I get that you're an unemployed Virgin in his 20s with a bunch of made up edge Lord diseases. Yeah I'm really scared of someone who can't even talk to girls. Tell me more about how mlp is the best show on TV. Faggot.
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