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get me laid /b/

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 311
Thread images: 24

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get me laid /b/
>>
I'm really horny bby
>>
>>696417724
we should hangout sometime
>>
>>696417807
roll
>>
there has been an awakening, have you felt it?
>>
>>696417831
>>
>>696417807
rol
>>
>>696417724
Hail
>>
How's about a fine date, lass. Pizza Hut sound exquisite?
>>
do you like minecraft?
>>
>>696417724
want to rail my sweet bio pussy?
>>
"You should come over sometime, I've got some really nice red wine that I haven't cracked open yet.."
>>
Haven't talked in a while, wanna meet up for some food?
>>
>>696417724
I think you're beautiful
>>
my mom said i'm huge, wanna double-check?
>>

▲▲
>>
>>696417724
I really hope that you understand, but I have something really important to say:
I sent a bomb to the white house, with your house as the returning address :)
>>
Why did the chicken cross the play ground? To get to the other slide! xDDD
>>
if you don't reply to this your mother will die in her sleep tonight
>>
>>696418288
winaaaaaa
>>
bush did 9/11
Also lets fuk
>>
>>696418288
Lowl
>>
>>696418288
checked
>>
*teleport behind you because I'm too fast for your eyes to follow* ....didn't see that coming....huh...? Foolish...human...hehehe....
>>
>>696418288
The gods have spoken
>>

▲▲
>>
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>>696418288
>>
>>696418084
zozzle
>>
>>696418538
RIP OP
>>
So how do you feel about all these cops shooting niggers? Shits cray cray right?
>>
>>696418538
Good job op
>>
I'm sorry m'lady, I have to be honest. I am letting peadophiles (like myself) on 4chan (website for child porn distrubution) dictate what I say to you in hopes you'll show me your breasts. Also what is your zip code and full name?
T-thanks :^)
>>
>>696418718
roll?
>>
>>696418538
maybe I should get my mom to check instead of you. you're gross
>>
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cmon boys help me here
>>
>>696418538
Good job delivering op, but now you will remain a virgin.
>>
>>696418766
fgt
>>
>>696418766
meesa winrar

>>696418718
>>
>>696418766
the gods have chosen the fate of this anon
>>
>>696418766
OP IS FUCKED
>>
>>696418802
I need to fap bby, can I see tits?
>>
>>696418718
Kek. Rolling
>>
>>696418874
roll
>>
I'm talking about my penis. It's above average.
>>
>>696418766
winrar
op delivar
You already dun goofed
>>
>>696418802
I bet you have a cute rectum
>>
I'm serious she had a full examine of it every night before Shrek came to Rek my asshole
>>
I'm using humor to try and send you a dick pic. I need some validation babe
>>
>>696418874
pls this
>>
>>696419070
roll
>>
Rolling for
I wonder if you smell different awake
>>
Oh sorry that was my sister...
>>
>>696418802
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>
Flounder off you silly cunt.
>>
>>696419155
winrar
>>
>>696419120
Wonrar
>>
>>696419155
he got them dubs
>>
Give me succ
>>
>>696419155
yeeeaaaahhhhhhh
>>
>>696419211
checked niggas
>>
What i'm asking you is if you want to see my huge 12cm cock
>>
*tips le epic reddit rageface fedora*
XD epic for the win!!!
>>
do you like neutral milk hotel?
>>
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>>696418718
>>
>>696419476
>T-thanks
Fucking kek
>>
>>696419476
Op wasn't a faggot today
>>
>>696419476
You enormous count
>>
>>696419476
RIP
>>
>>696419476
oh
>>
>>696419476
dumbass, can you post after you've gotten a reply. FOR FUCKS SAKE.
>>
>>696419476
wow
Took you long enough to put that thru the text generator
>>
hitler did nothing wrong
>>
>>696419476
Do you want to see my van?
>>
>>696419476
Well done you cuckold
>>
>>696419476
you can't call OP a faggot
>>
>>696419476
Holy shit op, if this is not fake then you are fucked.
>>
>>696419476

Today has been a good day I think.
>>
>>696419476
you dun goof'd nao
>>
>>696419476
>>696419155
C'mon man, thought you actually wanted to fuck her.
>>
>>696419700
dubs speak the truth
>>
>>696419476
OY VEY
NO KIKES ALLOWED
>>
I am the niggest
>>
>>696419646
roll
>>
soooo why haven't we fucked yet? I'd like to dress you up in kiddie panties with a really small shirt to match and I want you to call me dada:]
>>
>>696418307
rolling
>>
sorry, but i already have a waifu
>>
>>696420007
tripple 07
>>
>>696418307
rollinga
>>
I AM LORD PENOR, swear fealty to thine mighty cock!
>>
>>696419964
Rolling for this
>>
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>>
people call me a 1 pump chump, but I can pull off 2 pumps
>>
>>696420311
ooooo
>>
>>696418307
roll
>>
>>696419476
op be dead
>>
Don't talk about this to anybody or i'll say you raped me
>>
>>696420351
poor girl
>>
>>696420351
OP is a faggot.
No tits coming today.
I'm out of here.
>>
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>>696420276
>>
>>696419964
This, but change dada to onii-chan
>>
>>696420460
Rolling for this
>>
kill yourself!
>>
>>696420602
Rerollerino
>>
>>696418387
Rolling
>>
>>696420351
She didn't block your number and report you to the police, that's a good sign op.
>>
>>696420351
Damn my dad took my phone while I was in the bathroom, sorry. Anyways, do you like music?
>>
sorry my cat ran across my phone he typed that haha
>>
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shes getting antsy
>>
>>696420771
roll
>>
Can we go for a drink then a fuck now :)
>>
>>696418387
rolling
>>
Watch this boyos, I'm rolling this shit.
>>
>>696420351
Lol sorry, I have a confession to make. I shared this conversation with an online messageboard that decided what I said to you. I thought it would be a fun ice breaker because I really like you and want to get to know you better.
>>
>>696420460
Roll
>>
Someday I'll lead an expedition of fine Englishman to invade the failed state of Thailand and re-establish the abosolute monarchy of Siam under me, Emporer Quan Chi
>>
>>696420854
roll
>>
>>696420767
Kek rolling for this
>>
>>696420854
Roll
>>
i'm impotent
>>
Just kidding, so what are you up to?
>>
>>696420827
of course she is you noob
>>
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>>696420899
win
>>
>>696420899
>>696420922
Double winrar
>>
>>696421006
that image is amazing
>>
No but what say we meet up, start drinking and see where the evening takes us
>>
>>696420899
Yesss send this
>>
>>696420922
winrar. don't fuck this up
>>
>>696420963
Roll
>>
>>696421069
You dumbass
>>
>>696420827
Maybe just a little.
Maybe a lot, Maybe I'm about to die from Alcohol poisoning.
You should give a dying man his last wish and show me those titties.
>>
I was wondering if you would like to come over to my place. I could make us macaroni and cheese. Then, we could play skylanders and cuddle. How does that sound, Sexy?
>>
>>696421045
save it, it's yours my friend :)
>>
>>696420981
Starting to think this aswell. No normal girl would keep talking to him after he said something like that.
>>
>>696420311
Op deliver
>>
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>>696420854
>>
>>696421156
Reroll for the Radical Reaper. Bless me with dubs with your sick kick flip.
>>
>>696421146
Roll
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7tOAGY59uQ
>>
>>696421275
i also happen to have autism
but that's unrelated
>>
>>696421275
Oh shit
>>
What would you rather have, my dick in your vagina or my fist in your mouth?
>>
>>696421146
This
>>
I love to blow old men
>>
>>696421146
roll
>>
>>696421275

It's so meta. He's admitting he is following someone's suggestion by following someone's suggestion.
>>
Now show those melons
>>
Anyway, I just binged watched all of the Suite Life of Zack and Cody! What a fantastic show
>>
>>696421422
Kek
>>
Roll for: I really enjoy using reddit
>>
Cory in the house is the best anime ever!
>>
Would you like to go on a date next saturday at 7?
>>
>>696421544
Winrar
>>
>>696421588
winrar
>>
>>696421275
your smooth
>>
>>696421544
WINRAR
>>
>>696421544
kek no balls
>>
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Is it true girls say, that size doesn't matter?
>>
>>696421588
Winrar lmao
>>
>>696421588
lol
>>
>>696421588
>>696421644

double winrar
>>
>>696421313
Double Dubs must mean something.
>>
>>696421275
Tits out for harambe
>>
Are you into cuckold relationships?
>>
>>696421678
Rolling for this.
>>
>>696421275
Or atleast thats what I want you to think ;)
I do have ONE real confession though: I simplt cannot stop sucking dicks. Particularily dog dicks. Dunno what it is bout em - they're just s'darn good you know? Boy were both my dads pissed when they saw my askjeeves internet history and saw "how to knot dogs" ROFL! Anyway, thanks for letting me vent about to you, it means a lot :)
Just curious, do you have a dog?
>>
I just really wanted you to know that I named my dog after you so I can scream your name when I have sex with it
>>
>>696421588
Kek
>>
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>>69642154
>>
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WHY CAN'T MOVIES BE LIKE COW MAN! COW MAN IS BAE! THERE AREN'T ANY MORE GOOD MOVIES! I WANT TO END MY LIFE
>>
with that outa the way you tryna get fucked
>>
Guys let's wait a sec and see where this goes
>>
>>696421820
ROLL
>>
>>696421820
roll for this
>>
I like to fuck my couch. You know like stick my fuck between the cushions? It end up with 3rd degree brush burns on my shaft and I can't jerk off for about a week, but it's worth it. Cumming on my couch knowing my mom and other females are sitting on my splooge. I also like to cum on my own face, but that's a different story lol!
>>
>>696421820
ROLL2
>>
>>696421844
Op of the fucking year
>>
>>696421844

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>>
This one time,I finished all the bacon,so my dad got mad and raped me,I couldnt sit for a week.
Well enough about me,tell me about you.
>>
>>696421820
Roll
>>
>>696421820

Double winrar deliver op

>>696421944
>>696421966
>>
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>>696421999
YES!
>>
>>696421999
TRIPS
>>
I want to eat your ass like a fat kid eats desert.
>>
>>696421999
winrar
>>
>>696421999
Winrar
>>
>>696421999
winrar
>>
>>696421960
Roll again
>>
>>696421844
Top zoz
>>
>>696421844
dude you could have totally hit it off with her until the melons text

sometimes you should just ignnore /b/ man
>>
>>696421999
MEGA WINRAR!
>>
>>696421999
WINRAR
>>
>>696421999
trips decide
>>
>>696421844
I wasn't really a fan of Katie. I find you way easier to get along with. (Also way more attractive lol)
>>
forget what i said about the online board. its not true. i want to fuck you soo badly
>>
>>696422128
Who's Katie? Ooooh Katie! Yeah she was so last month.
>>
Sex with me boo boo. Dick 2 inches.
>>
>>696422040
Reroll
>>
>>696422128
Roll
>>
>>696422257
rawl
>>
>>696422040
kek roll
>>
>>696422311
wr0r
>>
>>696422040
roll
>>
>>696422040
Roll
>>
xD
>>
>>696422311
winrar
>>
>>696421999
>>696422311
>>696422300
Op please deliver
>>
>>696422128
>>696422300
pleaase do this man
>>
>>696421844
Katie's cool and all, but I want to be in your butt.
>>
>>696422066
I win negroes
>>
>>696421844
Btw I'm still sending a lot of the stuff they're telling me to send. Idk about you but I think it's funny the crazy shit they're making me say.
>>
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>>696421999
>>
>>696422457
ROLLL!
>>
>>696422474
ROLL
>>
dotty datty ditty, show me that titty
>>
I just want to get fucked by something other than my life
>>
>>696422490
I love OP
>>
>>696422474
Rolling this shit
>>
>>696422490
The most shittest one to send ever
>>
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Just send this picture
>>
>>>696418084
>zozzle
*florm
>>
>>696422490
This is perfect
>>
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>>696422490
>>
>>696422624
rolling for this
>>
>>696422611
Fuck yeah. Op we're gonna get you into those pants of hers
>>
>>696422490
This nigga actually sent that.
>>
>>696422457
roll
>>
>>696422474
Roll
>>
>>696422474
roll. also append: this is the thread -> >>696417724
>>
LOL, why not? Was it something I said?
>>
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>>
>>696422648
so saggy, so bad, riperiono in pepperonis
>>
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>>696422490
excellent
>>
i like milky milky
>>
>>696422777
trips chek'd
>>
watching Zootopia made my penis feel a nice funny
>>
>>696422624
Rolling for this
>>
>>696422735
rolling to follow >>696422490
>>
>>696422490
OP you forgot

>>696421820
>>696421944
>>696421966


The navy seals pasta over this?
>>
>>696422758
Lets cut the shit, are you tryna take all three of these inches or nah?
>>
>>696422855
Winzip
>>
send her a butthole pic,
>>
>>696422758
>>696417724
>>
>>696422927
roll
>>
>>696422855
WINRAR
>>
>>696422758
nah, I iz just fucking wid yu white girl. How bout dem pasty mammary pillows?
>>
>>696422758
It simply is not true? I know, butterflies, more important than 300 deaths which are based on the number of high school, I have peace.
Monkeys trained to fight, and I'm not a military sniper. You anything, but it was not. We wanted to determine the sex. I mean, I see the face of the earth.
If you think you can find something on the Internet? Evo cars. Be prepared for hidden spy network in the United States to attack the larvae of intellectual property rights, I must say better. The storm destroyed painful memories. Half of the children died. You can do it anywhere and I can already killed hundreds of hands. This is wrong, but smaller oil reserves, like an old man "that some phones Navy to play ugly." But now we can not pay ridiculous prices. I do not want to disrupt their wounds.
Half of the children died.
>>
>>696422855
Winrar
>>
Ever had 2.6 inches?
>>
>>696422927
rolling
>>
Send her the link to this thread
>>
kanker kind krijg de kanker
>>
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>>696422855
>>
>>696422758
Rolling for "Want some suck? Because I'm down to fuck. hell yeah"
>>
>>696422758
>>696422758
Fuck you bitch. Better yet, how about you fuck me bitch.

Don't EVER tell me what to do. I'm the fucking MAN.
>>
krijg kanker in je kontgat
>>
>>696423128
Do it
>>
see that blet? it took me 3 years of blood and sweat to get, this was the proudest day in my life yo get something that i EARNED? got one? what have u NERDS ever done, except level up to level 70 on WOW.. fucking nerds, do SOMETHING with youlife
>>
>>696423128
This
>>
Do you have a big clit? I hear its almost like a small boy's penis, which I'm into.
>>
>>696423128
roll for this
>>
>>696423128
Rolling for this
>>
lik mijn kontgat
>>
>>696423211
Winrar
>>
Make a new thread op
>>
>>696423219
kek this
>>
>>696423128
this
>>
Is anything real? How can we be sure of our own existence? Is life just one great illusion? Are we all just living in the dream of another? Is there a God and if there is what does he want with such? While you ponder these deep thoughts, please show me your breasts.
>>
>>696423191
Roll
>>
>>696423128
doo eet
>>
ik heb aids
>>
>>696422758
Damn girl are you spanish?

>Cuz i wanna get jalapeño ass
>>
>>696423256
lmfao roll
>>
>>696422758
heres the link to the place that shall not be spoken: >>696417724
>>
>>696423128
Roll
>>
>>696423081
Rolling for this
>>
Let me cream that ass
>>
>>696423128
do it for harambe
>>
my autism makes it difficult for me to function without the input from strangers on the internet. show tits
>>
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>>696422855
>>
Tell her "I also play pokemon go wanna see my balls"
>>
One kink I really like is getting pegged by the girl I want to be with. #feminism
>>
I love steve
>>
>>696423329
rollin
>>
>>696423128
Roll
>>
>>696423211
I called that guy a faggot an hour ago
>>
>>696423329
Fucking kek
>>
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>>696423128
do it op
>>
boards.4chan.org/b/thread/696417724/
>>
>>696423396
Oh lawdy
>>
>>696422904
trips beats dubs newfriend

also in the case of this being dubs:

Will you go out with me?
>>
>>696423329
Re roll
>>
>>696420029
roll
>>
>>696423128
check em
>>
This could of been a good thread but its ruined againby shitty unfunny posts
>>
>>696423128
Rolll
>>
>>696423396
Kek
>>
>>696423465
Roll
>>
>>696423495
He's posting everything else that is dubs before and after
Don't be a faggot anon, you should know the drill
>>
>>696423128
roli poli oli
>>
>>696423565
Aren't they all?
>>
File: 1463265279814.jpg (155KB, 900x900px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1463265279814.jpg
155KB, 900x900px
>>696423128
ROLL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE DO IT
>>
>>696423465
roll
>>
>>696423128
rerooolll....
>>
>>696423688
winrar
>>
>>696423128
do it
>>
>>696423688
7zip
>>
>>696423688
WINRAR
>>
>>696423688
WINRAR
>>
File: head.jpg (30KB, 199x260px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
head.jpg
30KB, 199x260px
>>696423688
winno
>>
>>696423688
>>696423128
there you have it
>>
File: highfive.png (471KB, 444x628px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
highfive.png
471KB, 444x628px
>>696423688
finally
Thread posts: 311
Thread images: 24





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