I've only had it for a week, I feel a little shitty for not giving it more time. But it's in a department in a factory that is so loud, that you can't hear anybody. I've been training, but with the noise level so high, you can't be explained to when you're fucking up, people just point and wave their hands and shit. I'm an auditory learner, so not being able to hear explanations is really hindering me.
>>696274135 Try talking to management about it. Having one good talk and having things explained can really help you out.
I also work at a loud ass factory and It was a little hard at first since like you i couldnt hear shit and just went with the flow. Luckily the people there were nice enough to help me out and not make me feel like absolute shit.
>>696274403 I've already made up my mind on quitting. I'm really not feeling the work, and while it's not the smart/responsible thing to do, it's been a long time since I've done something because I wanted to.
I'm only 23, there are plenty of jobs out there where I can learn at a rate that is good for both parties. This isn't the last job in the world. I struggled all day with making this decision.
>>696274883 For sure. He became one of the most respected members in the Nazi Party as head of Popaganda and fought for his country and what he thought was right ; whether we agree with what they did or not there's not much more a man could ask for.
There's always something out there for someone, you just have to look for it in unlikely places i think.
>>696275253 I have chosen to do right by other people for most of my life. Not that I plan on changing from here on out, but I think this is a time where I need to do something right by myself for once. And by "right by myself", I mean "right by myself immediately", not in the long run. Obviously sticking with it would be best in the long run ($12.75 per hour, benefits, insurance, advancement, etc.). But it's not what I want right now, and I'm young enough to be able to make a decision like this and not have it affect the outcome of my life.
>>696275489 This place is a good place for the long haul. I'm just not into the work or the learning environment. I'm just fortunate to be in a position like this where I have options.
>>696275550 I don't really know. I've worked a few different kinds of jobs, and while none of them I particularly enjoyed, I didn't exactly hate them either. And even if I did, I was in scenarios where I could be explained to where I was going wrong, whereas in this factory, our department is so loud that you can't communicate verbally.
No changes. I mean school is approching and i've been putting off shit relating to that and i hate myself for that, but whats new. and the girl i mentioned is coming back form her summer vacation. I haven't seen her in months so im actually excited but idk.
posted this in last thread but it 404'ed >be me back in HS >not particularly popular but have a few friends that I hang with >one day when I was feeling particularly lonely I decide to see if any of my friend wanted to do anything >all of them already have plans for that night >whatever no big deal >later that night on my computer decide to do something other than 4chan and go check facebook >see one of my friends had been posting pictures of the three of them at the movies and eating chines food >feelsbad.jpg >tfw they went out of their way to ovoid me they still do this, it's gotten so bad it's to the point that they don't even try to hide the fact that they do it any more they just plan things right in front of me but don't include me. >I like going to the movies >I like eating chines food
I've never had a real relationship. I've recently met someone and I'm not sure if my feelings are real or I'm just fucking lonely. I don't even know if she really likes me and I'm definitely fucking this up. I'm a mess over something that shouldn't be this serious.
>>696276753 OP here, same scenario here. The feelings between me and this girl are mutual but we go to school in diff cities and were both busy but i want to make something work idk, im just thinking of all the worst case scenarios and panicking because i like her so much and literally think of her every day. Idk if thats how you're feeling too
>>696277097 >>696277065 I think I'm an okay guy, people tell me Im funny, im nice I don't think I'm annoying and i don't talk all that much the more I thin about this though the more self conscious, but I don't know why this sort of stuff usually doesn't bother me
>>696277476 I'm socially retarded so I don't know how to progress. I've only known her for a month after a drunken encounter at a bbq.We've hung out a few times, but I don't know how to be anything but friends with people, and even then I have trouble. She is nice, but I don't know if it's loneliness or genuine interest.
20 years later when you see your friends who went down paths they didn't like and are regretting it you will realize you made the right decision.
If you ask people if they could go back in time to change something 80% of answers will be something like you mentioned. Wish they could go back and choose happiness instead of slaving away for something that makes you miserable and wasting away the best years of your life.
>>696278040 This happened to me in HS. I was similar, nice perosn most people found me funny but i felt like my friend group almost found me annoying/ignored me. Like if we went out for lunch or whatever, if i just left they wouldnt realize. I had 1 close friend in the group and we kinda split off from them and did our own thing.
I just feel empty. I don't have a horrible life, i have friends and a nice relationship with my family, but i still feel sad on the inside. Most of the time that i am with my friends/family i have fun and everything, but when i'm back home i just feel so fucking empty and sad...
>>696277963 Getting a divorce. Husband told me a month after we were married that he didn't want me anymore. Over the past few years it's just gotten worse, so I finally decided to get out. He finally decided to wake up and try for the relationship, but it was too little too late. Since he can't have me, he just wants to destroy me now. Every message he sends me is just full of insults. He wants me to die, etc. I don't understand how you can claim to love someone and then do things like that. I have been and continue to be polite and friendly to him, but it's gotten to the point that I'm afraid of what he might do the next time we're in the same room.
I just want it to be done, so I can build a new foundation for my life. I want to not feel worthless and like a burden to everyone. It's frustrating.
Recently I've just been feeling sad and empty, and it's pissing me off because I have no reason to be feeling this way. Nothing in my life is going poorly, I just got promoted at work, college is going well and I'm moving in with two really good friends in a month, and yet, I think I've been feeling even worse of late. It's pathetic that despite my life going relatively well, I still feel just a lack of anything really.
>>696278598 >had 1 close friend in the group and we kinda split off from them and did our own thing. This is exactly what you should do. You don't need to have a hundred (or whatever many) friends to be happy.
To be perfectly honest I've been on the opposite side if that, and I know how it is. In college I knee a guy who really tried to be friends with me and my friends, but none of us liked him. We pretended to laugh a his jokes but didn't find them funny. That kind of thing. It just wasn't going to work. I think he knew the benefit of casting a wide net though, and eventually he had plenty of close friends who he seemed to get along with better.
>>696279203 >Try exercise and your little problems will seem benign
I life weights 5 times a week and run on weekends. Not everyone here is a NEET basement dweller who is crying over everything.
And the fact that you're here means you have something bothering you as well. Hell you don't even have to post it as a reply to this if its your pride you're worried about, just comment somewhere and we'll help you out.
And every great man in History worth a damn wasn't great his whole life.
>>696278969 I'm old enough to know that doesn't apply always, there is people who will live and die alone and i'm pretty sure i'm one of them. I just have to make sure to make a great life until my death
This is a much more positive feels thread than I've seen and that actually makes me kinda happy
But back to feels. Gf recently broke up with me after being together for such a long time. She said that she wants find out who she is and what she wants from life. The odd thing is that she keeps telling our friends that she still loves me. And here I am feeling completely alone, understanding that this is what she needs but I'm completely miserable.
Inb4 she wants to fuck other guys, she's not that type of girl. She truly is unique and I love her.
>>696280265 I'm not really in this convo, but who cares?
You don't have to get married. Or have a girlfriend or w/e. I don't see what the big deal is either way, but I do see a LOT of young men who agonize about not meeting up to the expectation they have imposed upon themselves.
Honestly I think you are more attractive when you are living as the best version of yourself that you can be, anyway, if you happen to care about that sort of thing.
>>696273391 >be me last week >recovering alcoholic with an alcoholic gf also in recovery >gf relapses tries to drag me down too >hits me with everything I've confided in her that fuck me up inside >ouch >posts on Fb that I hit her >file restraining order against her >starts threatening to fuck my car up >woahbitchnotmyride.jag >she finally sobers up after almost dying >apologizes >fair enough >house gets burglarized 2 days later >everything stolen, including roommates stuff >fuckme.jpg >almost relapse >3 days later car gets backed into >when does the bullshit end?
>>696280957 I agree with you man Look up testosterone studies, it doesn't affect men nearly as much as you think it would It's sad to see that society has imposed such wrongful expectations on men to be stoic and emotionless
High school fag needs relationship advice of this girl >>i like this girl since 8th grade >>ask her one day who she likes >>says my best friend >>mfw i sat in my room for about 14 hours thinking about life >> not that popular have depression >> still like this girl but have talked to her less >>she invited me to carnival half a year ago >>mfw i was the only one she invited
Is there hope should i ask her shes a good friend would it ruin it? and if i did where should i go with her. (never had a gf before beta fag here help)
The only girl that wants to fuck me lives in the U.S. everyone here fucking hates me and I hate myself too. I've been drinking and smoking like crazy lately. We talk constantly and thoughts of being with her are consuming me.
I set standards for myself that are impossible and any small mistake is the end of the world for me. I'm a perfectionist and if anything goes wrong I just take it out on myself for never doing good enough. I can't accept things for the way they are and it's gotten to the point where I can't enjoy anything anymore I just take everything so personal and so seriously.
>>696281521 Thanks anon. It has been shit. Trying to maintain hope for her and I to have a healthy happy relationship gets smaller everyday. The other stuff is just that, stuff. Still socks but it doesn't quite compare to losing the first good relationship I've had in years.
>>696281897 Possibilities of the revenge porn idea are growing lol.
>>696281972 Oh I have. She's not responsible for the car accident or the burglary, but as soon as the Facebook post went up it was on. She gathered herself some criminal harassment charges from the state in the days of endless phone calls, texts, and messages she sent me.
>>696282228 >Is it a reference or something I can't tell if troll or not. I'm going to assume no. It is a reference to yung leans sad boys clothing shop. >looks like something filthyfrank would make You fucking racist bro? Kek I'm just playing. It's just a white kid rap thing
>>696273391 I keep having dreams about a dear friend who killed himself in January. Most of them even involve me knowing he is dead. He was one of the only people I ever felt so close to and he died about a year after I last saw him.
>>696283354 Also my GF ended a 4 year relationship because she fell out of love with me. I still feel the same after 4 years but we're making friendship work for now. I bet when she starts to see other people I'll lose it
>be me >be in a relationship 1.5 years now >gf is solid 56/10 >wtf how did i pull that one off >everything seems to be going fine >few bumps in the road, few breaks from eachother but we always end up back with eachother and it seems loving >be a month or two ago >her relatives start dropping like flies >she gets pissed because i was inconsiderate, even though she kept telling me it was fine and she was okay >makeupyourmind.jpg >breaks up with me >silently suicidal >begin self improvement montage >be two nights ago >one of my best friends on discord has somehting important to me >hes now dating said ex >want to fucking bash his skull in >brocode.dll >feelsbadman >not sure what to do >still want her back and him as my friend but i dont know what to do >fuckme
>>696284329 No because generally I feel fine. I do drink but it's usually a beer or two each night after work (once I feel I earned it). I do have other friends I see once in a while and that helps a bit. And I've been blowing my work stuff I like to help distract me
>>696284536 I think I've already started to bear it, it's been 7 months. I think it's because the last time I saw him he seemed like he was saying goodbye. I just thought he was pushing me out like he had so many others and was working to better his life.
>>696284689 Its gunna explode eventually, even if you're unconsciously suppressing it now. Therapy is a healthy way to express yourself, even if you don't think you immediately need it but its good to have.
>>696284988 Just chiming in here to say you don't have to grieve any particular way. It doesn't have to "hit you" and you don't have to cry. I used to freak myself out wondering if I was a sociopath or something when I didn't cry at the death of my friends or my dog. But if you look at it objectively, I was drinking myself into submission and trying to argue with god in my head. I was grieving plenty. So don't ever beat yourself up about that kind of thing.
Okay, so I met a girl on Tinder. We talked for a few months, then I started to develop some feels for her. Thought about her all the time. Just about 30 minutes ago she tells me she's pregnant and its getting an abortion. I'm already really upset, but we weren't dating so I didn't have grounds to be furious. Anyway, I ask her to tell me what happened. Turns out she dated a guy a few years ago, she got knocked up, they broke up, she got knocked up by some other guy, she meets me and still loves the first guy. So she's getting back together with him and has had plans to do so for a while, even though she invited me over to her house and fuck me (even though I didn't). I wanted to take it slow for a while and get to know her better.
She brought this up while we were making plans to go on a date.
I'm fucking furious and incredibly depressed at the same time. Currently downing a bottle of Everclear.
My ex fucked up my self-esteem. I loved them with all I had, I dedicated all this time to make them happy. And for what? To be called ugly. To be compared to others. To be ignored.
I broke up with them about a year ago. I've climbed literal mountains, met so many new people, tried so many foods and drinks. I've studied my ass off in school, took the extra mile to win a couple awards. But nothing has WORKED. I still think about that one little comment. They don't really matter, but it fucks with me. I wish I could just forget about everything they said. It's just a broken record in my head.
There's this girl I've been pretty close with, and over the course of the last few months developed some feelings for. Problem is we haven't been in that great of contact recently, and I am worried about just confessing my feelings. She goes to college out of state and moves back to campus in about a month, and im afraid that if I dont do something this will be it. thoughts/feels bros?
Alright, here's some feels that don't have to do with a female.
I'm 29 and my 55 year old father just passed away this past Tuesday. He leaves behind my mom, and 26 year old brother. I don't live in my home town anymore, and just today I finally returned back to where I live. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to fucking deal with.
>>696295260 All I can say was that it was not healthy. But you should definitely try, good memories to have. Make an effort to be someone's #1 though. They're not worth your time if they pick someone over you who isn't family. It's just pointless.
>>696281434 I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I'm 30 years old and I can tell you with 100% certainty that high school doesn't fucking matter. Not one bit. I know it might matter to you right now at this moment, and that's cool, but it's seriously nothing to stress or worry about. All of those high school relationships will ultimately mean nothing at all.
What really sucks is it's been hard to really focus on good memories and all that stuff, when the harsh reality is how the hell my brother and mother are going to afford the rent where they live since my dad was the breadwinner. They both have jobs, but they don't pay enough. Just sucks because as the oldest son I've had to somewhat assume the role of my father in terms of telling them what to do. This is extra stressful at the moment because I'm two semesters away from finishing school, my wife and I just started trying to have a baby, and we have a house we're supposed to be closing on in two weeks.
>>696297140 Consider this Anon, death should be a celebration. Reality itself is the hardest thing someone has to go through. He was there to see his children grow up, and thats really all you want as a parent. Life is hard, and he's free now.
>was depressed near the end of last year >docs weren't much help >self harmed for the first time after a lifetime of thinking it was for little bitches >Christmas rolled around and i started to feel a little better >met a girl just after Christmas and made her my gf >started to feel pretty fine after that >few months later depression creeps up again out of nowhere >always self conscious about the length of my t shirt because now one of my arms is messed up and my girlfriend doesn't know >sat at a train station with the intention of throwing myself onto the tracks but pussied out
Life is horrible and I don't know why, brehs. Other than being currently unemployed I have it pretty alright but I just can't stop feeling awful.
>>696298096 mostly social anxiety I suppose, but in many cases I see people losing interest in me as time goes on. Contact slows, be it texting, calling, talking, and eventually ceases. I must seem like a decent/friendly guy because It's not uncommon for girls to approach me first, but I just can't open up enough or something because they always drift away.
>>696297305 First off mate, shes not in love with you yet. She's showing interest in hopes that you will show it back. It probably seems complicated but its really not. I will tell you step by step how to get her.
First, get her number. The best way to do this is associate a class with it. For example: "Hey did you study for Mr. Anon's test?" "Damn i forgot to." This is where you begin small talk. Ask random shit just to make convo. At the end of the day or whatever when you guys are about to leave one another, say this: "Hey, anonette- whats your number? Im gonna text you in case i have any questions about the test." (They always say yes)
Then text her and ask one or two questions about the test, and proceed with the small talk.
After you talk to her for a little while, maybe a few days- text her one day saying "Are you hungry?" (They almost always say yes) once she says yes, reply "Lets go eat somewhere."
Go eat, make her laugh, do random shit. Then the most important step, after you go and have a good date- have a little small talk through text with her, and say "Hey anonette, im attracted to you."
Youre gonna hesistate sending that message, but grow some balls and trust me, bitch. It never fails. They ALWAYS reply "Im attracted to you too." Or something along those lines.
After that point, i cant tell you what to do. Go on dates, keep showing interest, kiss her to seal the deal, and youre done. Get your dick wet.
>>696298750 Well it's not like you have to spend every waking moment talking. Grown people always have stuff to do. Then when you get to see each other it's so satisfying. I think it's kind of cool how you don't reveal too much, keeps things more interesting. Whoever stays long enough can get to know another side of you. There will always be someone interested
I'm tired of being lonely so I'll keep trying. I always assume the worst so until things actually become bad I suppose I can keep pursuing someone. I just feel like I'm not cut out for this, I'm kind of running out of steam. Anyways thanks for reading, I don't think I should stay up too much longer.
>>696295849 she doesnt love you. she'll never love you. you will never do anything with her. you'll pour your heart out to her and leave yourself wide open and she'll basically tell you to fuck off in a nicer way. congrats man, nothing will matter, you're just fucking with your emotions thinking about "what could've been" when there was nothing in the first place.
>Go to sleep, drift away from reality. >Dream about a a day out with this girl that I really, really like. >We go the park, play guitar, watch a movie, do all of the typical friend stuff. >Somehow get to my room >Hear her say: "Anon, I actually like you." >We both kiss >Yes.jpg >Things start fading away, everything begins to melt and turn to dust for some reason >At this point, I realize I'm dreaming and try to build everything back up. >No matter how hard I try, everything just won't stop fading away. >Eventually, she's the last thing in the white space, and she slowly fades away from exsistance. >I wake up.
And that /b/, was the universe telling me I'll always be lonely. I'm so fucked now I can barely sleep. I just have this horrible feeling that I'll remain lonely for the rest of my life.
>>696300736 This is why I stopped having cakes and shit after like 3 of 30 people invited came to my party in like the second grade. Disappointment after disappointment, low expectations are the best kind. At least friends still call me and shit, its more than my family's ever done.
>>696297258 Good advice, it's just going to be hard for him too take. That kind of self awareness usually only comes with maturity and a bit of self reflection on the pointless shit you worried about. There's really not a way to skip that phase. So stay strong man, because this anon is right. It gets better, I'm 24 now and I've come to realize just how little most shit matters. Brush it off and move on.
>be me >15 year old faggot >meet this pretty nice girl >talk to her a few days >diagnosed with a brain tumor after a week of conversation >be supportive to her >talk to her for another year >be in love >don't reveal my feelings >end up saying "i love you" someday while talking to her on the phone >she says "i love you too anon" >butterflies.wmv >talk for another few months >end up banging her >holyshititwasamazing >one day >sleeping >wake up 4PM >see phone message >her >writes a huge text about how she's sorry for leaving, that she truly loved me and that she just cannot be with me anymore >cry for a solid week >be me now >25 >when i was 15 the doctors gave her 7-9 years to live >i still wonder if she is alive and kicking to this day
Okay, so a few years ago everything was going great I was exercising like crazy and doing about 21 miles a week in walking. At around AUG 6TH while I was playing WoW I get a call from my mother telling me her boyfriend had just died about a half hour ago. When I said I could comeover and comfort her she said she was 'okay' and was waiting for the hospice to come. The next day I cameover to help my mother get through this while she called his friends to tell them the news. Fast forward a few months to Oct and I am called again this time by my sister telling me she needed help moving. When I get there she takes her time and what should have been a one day job turns into four days and ontop of that I almosted DIED. 1/3
I don’t know how to be likable. It doesn’t get better and it doesn’t get easier. I can’t keep lying to myself thinking I’m gonna change, I’m poison. I come from poison and I have poison inside me and I destroy everything I touch. That’s my legacy. I have nothing to show for the live I have lived. And I have nobody in my life who’s better off for having known me.
>>696304581 She had neglected to tell me a corner of the room had black mold... But cause of the stress of getting sick and her taking her time as our mother does so as well. I said some words that shoyuldn't have been about her boy friend and in return she told me she should have aborted me... And for the next two weeks I was bedridden and had fluid build up in lungs. I was so depressed about life I had gained back the 60 lbs I had lost over the course of the year. My mother and I have not spoken to eachother since, and honestly I had thought of just killing myself, but I kept telling myself if I did so I'd be a burden to those who would have to remove my body. 2/3
For the time being I live alone, only a few of my friends on FB wished me a happy birthday the last few years and my dad forgot one year and was days late the next. Only person who even gave a dame was my sister....
>>696304636 Sucks antithesis anon bro, I'm from the opposite camp. I don't have a problem being social and likable. The problem is I'm pretending, that's why my circle of "friends" doesn't really include anyone outside of a few years. I've been loved plenty, I just can't manage to feel love back. Grass is just as shitty and brown over here /b/ro
Hey, /b/. I'm pretty sure I'm depressed. Just been feeling empty on the inside as of late. Especially so whenever I'm alone. The only really bad thing in my life is my home life (just turned 18, so still living with my mom). A lot has gone down between my family members and I, and I know more will. I mean, I'm gay, and half my family hates homosexuality or will think I'm "just looking for attention". I've lost interest in nearly everything I used to enjoy except for video games, and even they feel like a chore sometimes. I've been spending so much time with my friends that I think they'll get annoyed of me soon. Hell, I go off to college in less than a month, and I hate the fact that I won't be able to add them on a nearly daily basis anymore. I feel like they're one of the only reasons I don't do something stupid. Any advice? I'd tell mom this, but I know she'd overreact and all my other family members will just blow it off.
>>696307377 So your not happy in your current situation, and you don't want to go to college, just go travel dude. Pack some shit, get on a bus and do some day labor, cut out everything from your life. Settle down in a place no one knows you, save up some money, maybe move again? Travel to a different country? What's the worse case scenario? Your still unhappy? Be nice if you talked to your Mom first or at the very least left a note since she's the one person who still seems to give a shit about you. You'll grow up a bit more after having to fend for yourself and being responsible for your own happiness. Fuck your Mom is a phone call away if shit really got bad, but it's honestly not that fucking hard to earn enough money to live off of dude. You need surprisingly little to get by
>>696308782 I've thought about just going away and not coming back, but the problem is that I do want to go to college. I feel like if I left, I'd fuck up my future somehow. I don't want to work at a Walmart for the rest of my life. I actually want to do something with it.
>last summer >texting qt from college all summer >really into her >starts flaking on me all the time >suddenly she gets back together with her ex-bf >barely talk after that >two weeks ago >she starts texting me again >tells me she broke up with her bf >tfw I know she's gonna fuck me over again but I can't stop myself from talking to her
>>696298137 Don't throwyourself onto the tracks. I don't give a fuck if you kill yourself, but don't do it that way. You will fuck up the train engineers life. Happened to a friend of mine. He hit tresspassers on the tracks and hasn't been the same since
>be me >14 years old >just arrived in a new school so I don't really know anyone >meet this one dude in english, let's just call him brodude >didn't exactly have a good first encounter, since I really just wanted to mind my own business those first few weeks since I'm a shy fuck >time goes by, turns out we actually got a lot in common >slowly start to open up >we actually end up becoming pretty good friends >feelsgudman.jpeg >fast forward a few weeks >end up doing a choir concert since I was a choirfag at the time (needed me some of that fine arts credit) >get there and find out he's also in choir >oshityes.png >find him in the back sitting onto table next to a grill >even from where I was standing she was easily 9/10 >I kinda just look at em for a while, being the betafag I am >he's got a gf, but I couldn't tell wat tf was happening, didn't want to ruin shit for him >they just seem to be talking, so I just walk in >he introduces me to the grill >I'd like to say we hit it off then and there, but it was kinda awkward at first >brodude's group goes up to perform so he has to abandon match early >just me and grill >spaghettidrip.png >I decide to just avoid confrontation all together and just take pics of choir >grill notices >"you know anon, you could just use the camera roght beside you to git gud pics" >being the retard I am, I thought that was a cue to take a picture of the camera's picture thing >nicethinkingbrain.txt >grill kinda laughs a little >holy shit I'm getting somewhere >after that little fail/win, we actually got a convo going >I had no idea what the hell I was getting into cont'd.?
>>696309446 It's really hard to fuck up your future, if your alive you can always make things better. College can be a huge advantage, even a 2 year degree can get your foot in doors, or your resume a second look, but here's the thing, planning for the future is hard to do. No one can tell you where your life is going to lead you. It only takes a second for your life to change forever, or even end. You should worry about making yourself happy in the now, taking smaller steps towards that eventual happier future. Don't force yourself to go to college because that's what you think you'll need eventually.
Do something for yourself that you need now. I went to college, paid my way working part time and doing freelance design on the side, it was hard, but I did it. I bailed after an associates, got a decent job, eventually found a better one. I make $20/hour, I have a paid off car, my rent is completely affordable, I have plenty of spending money. The thing is, none of that makes me happy. It didn't give my life meaning, it didn't change the fact that I never mean any of those smiles. That I don't have anyone in my life I care about.
I have no idea what I'm living for, I'm the type of person you'd probably like if you met, and it's all glib. I couldn't find someone meaningful to connect with even with a gun to my head. I don't care about anything, and the only reason I keep living, is because dying doesn't sound particularly appealing and I know I'll get there one day anyway. I'm saving up, and I'll probably end up bouncing to go travel after I save up a few more grand.
Happiness is something you create for yourself, it doesn't matter if you find it with friends, with a girl, or in a pile of money, just that you find it. So worry more about looking for it, instead of planning ahead for a future you can't be bothered to care about.
>>696310745 Idk man, just giving advice from someone who's felt like this for a long time, and was too worried about doing the right thing for later to live for the now. All I'm saying is it didn't end up making me any happier, and it took me 6 more wasted years living an empty life full of a hollow happiness to figure that out.
I guess the best thing I can say is love yourself, you are worth something, even if it's only to yourself. As long as your alive you can keep trying, don't give up, I haven't, hopefully one day we both find whatever it is we're looking for. Try not to take life to seriously anon, if there is one thing I've realized, is all that bullshit you think mattered at the time doesn't, fuck your family who doesn't accept you, you don't need garbage like that in your life anyway.
>>696310745 I... Honestly, I don't know, Anon. I mean, I want to go to college, but I don't. Fuck. I mean, I've talked to my friends about just leaving before (got pretty drunk one night). They said they'd be somewhat okay with it too, considering my situation and all. I'm sorry, but I honestly don't know what to do. >>696311417 Thanks for that last part. It's kinda something I needed to hear for a while now.
>>696312446 The thing is man, even if you don't go to college now, there's nothing stopping you from doing it later. Community college is pretty affordable, I could have done the same thing I did before later on, and it wouldn't have made much of a difference. What you need right now is life experience. Your too stuck in your little world, your a small fish in a pond, but once your out there in the lake you realize everyone's fucking small depending on the scale of things. Trust me, instead of dealing with hate, it can be a hell of a lot better to deal with some blank slates, and even indifference. You can be whoever you want to be, with zero expectations, and that gives you lots of room to grow, and actually be honest with yourself instead of now where your tied down with expectations. You can still go to college, but just don't think that's the only way you can find yourself, it's not.
>January 3rd, 2015 >my grandmother is put on life support and goes into a 2 month coma because I visited her on my birthday, even though I was sick and she has cancer, and I knew she didn't have an immune system >shortly after, I go back to school and hate all of my classes for the semester. So demotivated I drop all but one of them >the one that I didn't drop, I only stayed because this girl I was falling for was in it >worked up the courage to ask her out, got rejected >spend my days at college sitting in my dorm and stewing in self-pity >start texting/snapchatting that girl over spring break >she ends up using me for money/class work for the rest of the semester, I find out in June she has been dating someone for weeks >I was in love with her at that point (first time I really got attached like that) >10 days later, my mom calls me on Sunday June 14 at 9 pm >crying hysterically, tells me my brother is dead >spend the next 30 hours (was awake 45 total) feeling absolutely nothing >after finally sleeping, spend the week devastated and guilty about the awful, brother I was to him >reoccurring dreams of me ignoring him and being a dick, can't sleep well for months >meet another girl, she cheats on her boyfriend with me, ruins her life (they lived together, joint bank account, etc.) >drop all but 2 classes in the fall semester because I spend my days in bed trying to sleep to pass the time >feel like I just want to sleep the time away, even though I don't have anything to look forward to >date 3 girls from August to December, all 3 end with me being ignored out of the blue >my niece (dead brother's only child) is born in November, small source of happiness for a while even though I live too far away to see her >total my car in December, broke as fuck and have to beg my mother to fix it like a pathetic bitch >devil-year almost comes to an end, my birthday is December 28 >get the flu again on the 27th, reminds me of what started all the events in that shitty tucking year
>>696313039 When your out there in a bigger world, when you realize the waves of strangers walking past you on a busy sidewalk couldn't give a shit about you, and you dont' give a shit about them. It makes you realize doesn't it? It doesn't matter what they think when you don't care in the first place. Your not worried about the what the guy who just walked passed you thinks of you. Realize that YOU are the one giving people that power of you. If you decide what your family thinks doesn't matter, there isn't a godamn thing in this world they can do to make it matter to you. Be you, because there's nothing wrong with who you are. Your not a special fucking snowflake, your just another dude, trying to find something that matters out here int he world. Just trying to live your life, everyones like that, even people who think they have all answers, people who think they're qualified to pass judgement on something as insignificant as your sexual orientation. Who the fuck died and made them the godamn authority on life? No one. Seriously, do things for your sake, find happiness, that's the only thing you ever need to feel responsible for.
>>696273391 I can't sleep either ...have to knock myself out too sleep anymore, I'm 20 and have had 3 surgeries since the age of 16, I go threw a lot of pain and I don't know what too do here's my kik if you wanna talk Kik:gameover169
>>696313381 I'm sorry anon. I recently lost my younger brother. He was my whole world, and I loved him with all my heart. He was on his way to my job when he was hit by a van. The person who killed him claimed he was in their lane, but it doesn't make sense, it was at an intersection, and he was turning left onto the road. They also had an open beer in the car, but refused a breathalyzer test. So now my family owes $50,000 to the ass hole that killed him, bc he was the only witness. Well, another woman was behind him, but bc she "didn't quite seem to remember" her testimony was thrown out. She said my brother was perfectly in his lane, and tried to avoid the guy in the van, who was speeding (according to her)
>>696313941 Sort of, I own a truck, still do. In between apartments, I sold everything, had about 10k in the bank after all was said and done, took supplies, basically camped out for 6 months. Fished, trapped, ended up making a primitive bow, semi successful with it. I had a pickup bed full of supplies, canned goods etc. Never ended up needing to go back into town. Eventually had enough, crashed at my parents for a bit, cleaned up, found a job at a warehouse, and an apt within month. Eventually found another graphic designer job which I did before I bounced in the first place. I was a pretty cathartic experience overall.
>>696289656 This made me cry, I really needed that, I don't know how much longer I can last with this spine and how it seperates me from the world..my spine seperates me from everything my kik:gameover169 I don't know what else too say
>>696313580 Anon, thank you. Thank you so much. I really needed to hear all of that. And, well, may actually do that. I have an extremely close friend who lives in Oregon and an Amtrak ticket wouldn't be too expensive. I could stay with her while I got back on my feet. She's offered to help me like this before. But... Damn, it took a stranger or two on /b/ to finally get through to me. I'll work a couple more weeks where I'm at and then I'll go. I have to get a bit of money to do this. Thanks again. You're an awesome guy.
>>696314723 Shitty. One of the guys from the crash that killed my brother tried to sue because he claimed he couldn't do his job (fucking architect) as a result of a hand injury. A hand injury that doctors said was healed and shouldn't be bothering him at all. Luckily my grandfather has a huge business and the lawyer he has put the fear of God into him immediately, and that's where the situation ended. Sorry about your loss man, I still get down about my brother sometimes. The guilt of what I was like to him the last year or so of his life fucking kills me to this day.
>>696273391 I am an enormously pathetic person, and I honestly wish I could just disintegrate, erase myself from everywhere. I am cripplingly afraid of conflict, I cannot articulate my emotions, I married a person who doesn't love me, and the worst part is I know I can't change these things, at least not on my own. And I'm so emotionally crippled that I can't reach out to anybody else. So I pretty much just drink until the feelings go away, or until they overwhelm me and I cry like a kid for an hour. I never cried like this until I was an adult. Not when family members died, not when my sister nearly died of anorexia, or when my mom's long time partner up and left. Kinda wish it was like that again...
Continued >few weeks later >wanted to do a segment on how borinf homecoming was, but I've typed this shit out twice >kinda important, so here goes >end up skipping out on most attractions and just head to football field >shit was disappointing, but I was bored af anyways >heard they were doing powderpuff football, but I don't remember seeing shit for that >anyways, I walk to the jock sanctuary and turn to walk up the bleachers >immediately see grill >oshit.png >"oh hey anon" >she actually looked genuinely happy to see me >made my day already >"h-hey" >we end up hitting up a convi then and there >actually pretty good one >find out she's a gamer grill >mypeniscanonlygetsoerect.png >shows me some legend of zelda twilight princess gameplay >sidenote: she never made it past the gorons >still surprising af tho considering the 9/10 aspect >back to normal convo >get playful and start untying her boots with one hand >stealthmode.exe >"anon staaahp" >she laughed hysterically >o shit, cover blown >as she goes down to tie her boot, I start untying the other one >vicious_cycle.exe >trollface.jpeg >at the end of it all, I ask for her kik, half expecting to go away empty handed >politely declines, saying she doesn't have one >welp.png >"but I can give you my number instead" >oshityes >good day
Someone I loved soo dearly much just left me From that point on I started to lose myself, was flunking in school, didn't want to continue college, didnt want a job because I grew social anxiety, and well just gave up on my self Still thought about her and everything we did, I know she wouldnt care. Till today I plan on taking everything I can with me, leave and never comeback and just go and keep going until I hit my dead end. See its the fact that no matter what happens in my life, I will always remember what ive had with her, and I wont ever have it again.
To make up for time (took me a while for slme reason) making next one >start talking to her much more after that >starts off awkward, but then we find common ground in gaming and it all works out >found out she's a ps3 feg >I used to be a ps3 feg(then it fucking yellow lighted) >itsasign.png >start talking more and more >find we have a lot of common ground, a scary amount actually >this continues for months on end, to the point where most of my friends were convinced that I was dating her >whenever I said we weren't, it was either "good joke anon" or "fucking date her already" >almost inseparable >even had a routine >before and after 2nd period, and sometimes random times of the day >it was the perfect friendship >last thing I wanted to do was ruin that shit with a chance at dating
I've always wanted to be someone like this guy. A proud soldier who fought honorably tooth and nail for his country and beliefs but died trying, forever remembered within the annals of history as a hero who died for his people.
Sadly there are no worthy causes of fighting for as the US military only fights for oil and Israel while insultingly calling it a fight for worldwide freedom. There is not valor nor is there honor in what they stand and fight for.
This song has always moved me. I understand the German lyrics but the English is there for your convince.
>>696319772 Sure the Nazis were terrible people who fought for the wrong goals but their honor and bravery against such grave odds is not to be down played. I believe insulting any true warrior who died for their beliefs and the greater good of his people. regardless of what they are a hero. This excludes modern US soldiers as they are not true warriors, fighting only for the dollar and terrorists who seek not to advance the quality of life for their folk.
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