>>696229289 >be me >orphan >raised by alcoholic and abusive foster parents >grow up abused and witnessing violence in family >get diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder >attempt suicide 2 times >gets hospitalize and I have to take 5 different medication, nothing for anxiety >i can't leave the house without having a full blown panic attack >cry every night to sleep >i caught first bf cheating on me >second one beat me up then left me, it's been 2 years and I still cry thinking of him and I'm not recovered yet >he immediately found a new boyfriend. >drop out of college >get a little fat, no more qt twink >come out as fag to mom >she threatens to kick me out of the house >nobody to love and take care of me >i cry everywhere due to intense emotional pain and i tell other people that I'm okay >i hate myself for allowing me to live till this point because the emotional suffering is so intense >i don't care about my family since it's their fault >i hope i rot in hell
>>696233224 Because I was too depressed to even leave my home. I would cry on the streets, at college, in the buss, I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't do anything...and I had tried to take my life and they found out :(
I used to be fat and ugly. I got fit and women started noticing me. Turns out my problem all along is that I'm a boring fuck who is too high strung and anxious to have fun around women and thus get rejected and ignored. I think I may be too old to change this behaviour now, am I doomed to spend the rest of my life alone and unloved?
>be me >go out with girl for seven years >decide to propose >find out girl has been banging some guy for the last three months >totally fall apart, become massively depressed >in and out of weird relationships >drug and alcohol addiction, suicide attempts >meet asian qt, dream girl >solves all my problems, we're engaged
Even though I totally gave up, don't give up - Stuff totally isn't that bad and it'll be alright in the end, for sure.
>>696233415 How did you deal with your mother's death? My brother died 4 months ago and till now all what I think of is to kill myself, I can't handle it. I tried once but I failed. Please help a /b/ro out and tell me what did you do?
>>696230342 I know, anon, and I know you may feel like you're fading, like you're empty but stay strong and by staying strong another girl will come into your life, making you love her million times more than you loved your ex, I promise
>>696233863 He has a new boyfriend who threatened me with police if I dare to call again, I'm shocked and physically I feel like I'm going to vomit when I think of him moving on so quickly, of him leaving me at my worst...I feel like the light is fading out....
>>696234203 /b/ro ofc you have us! I hope you get to forget about him, Try not to think about it much and fill your time with any kind of activities. It'll be a long way till you recover but you'll be able to do so.
>>696234097 I don't actually know if I have dealt with it. When I found out, I wanted to scream and rage but my grandmother (her mother) asked me to stay inside for her sake. By the day of the funeral, there was a huge, gaping hole inside but I had gone numb. It hasn't gone away, but I've slowly forgotten the specifics of her.
I've always dealt with death a little differently than most. I lost a coworker a couple months back to heroin and all I could feel is frustration that the shit got him, too. Big things like that don't break me emotionally...it's the little things that kill me.
>>696234762 It's been 2 years already and I was ok with the break up at the beginning....He used to hit me, he beat me up, I felt like I was back in the highschool and I was standing next to a bully...I was fearing him :( But I don't know why, now, after this much time I called him.
>>696229773 >be me >in a great relationship for 10 months with girl >one day completely out of the blue dumps me >gives me no reason why >cant stop thinking about her >fall into depressive spiral >attempt suicide twice >end up in counselling and on meds >take shitloads of drugs and alcohol >life seems very fucked up
B-bro, we're here for you, she wasn't a great catch if she did that....my ex did the same thing to me too....our relationship was good...then out of nowhere I'm dumped and he has a new one... Please, choose more wisely and make sure you make new friends to talk to, make sure you keep your mind busy, do volunteer, art, sing, get a new hobby, everything and I GUARANTEE you that she'll be gone from your mind in no matter time and by doing this you allow yourself to meet another girl, X times better than your ex who will make you feel glad you haven't died by suicide, by the way, I'm >>696232774
I love you, anon, stay strong and it will heal, don't worry about that.
>>696235737 ur rite m9 guess everybody should just grow a pair and man up and get over themselves rite!!??!!!11!!!! what a bunch of fucking fags to have emotions and shit amirite they shud spend more time on the internets and 4chan so they can become a real person with no feelings and a capacity to love only the dankest memes!
The saddest part of all this is, the stuff we say here, could we actually say to another person, in person or do you get that awkward guilt feeling in their stomach. that might just be me, i'm so closed off, i really have the hardest time telling some one what I know they want to hear. Its like I know the words, I know what they want to hear, but its like, I can't get them out, for some reason they never feel good enough.
I had this dream months ago when I was in love with the most beautiful girl (he was a mix of 2-3 girls of my real life). She loved me back, we were so happy (nothing sexual on the dream, all cheesy stuff). Then I became lucid, and realized that was a dream and I was going to wake up early.
So I explained this to this dream-girl, I confess that I was extremely happy with her and wondered if we were going to see each other again someday. She said: ''Dont worry, I'll come back to you in one exact year''
This happened in the night of May 20, and I think about that date every single day... Do you think my autosuggestion will bring her back next year? I certainly hope so...
i pushed all my friends away because i was afraid of them. the delusions ruled my life. i didn't leave the house, i wouldn't eat anything i didn't cook myself, i scrubbed myself raw in the bath every day and pulled my hair out with tweezers. i didn't sleep. if it weren't for my parents i would have ended up homeless.
then i started my medication and the voices and paranoia tapered off.
i feel human again. for the first time in a year i'm going to go hang out with an old friend. it might not seem like a big deal but i was a shut-in for so long.
i don't know if my happiness is welcome in a feels thread, but it's been so long since i felt happy. i feel like a new man. i can't wait for tonight.
>3 Weeks Ago >Family decide to go to beach >I stay at home like a boring fuck >Gone all Day >Go to sleep without seeing them >Hear door ring at around half 12 >It's the police >I'm told their car has fallen off of a cliff face
I'm staying at my grandparents now and I have no idea what's going to happen. Worst part is they took my dog, Millie, along with them.
>>696235737 christ, every time there's some faggot that just goes "you're all bitches for loving some girl". okay, hotstuff, we get it. youre a stone cold killer. good for you. no woman has ever gotten you down. congratu-fucking-lations. now shut the fuck up and let us lament. cunt.
>>696232475 >Yes. Bear in mind, though, suicide is a sure fire way to wind up in Hell according to most religions. I can't tell whether that's the most stupid or most malicious comment I've read all day.
>>696235577 Exact same thing happened to me, even the same amount of months. The only thing that helped me was to hang out with friends, and remind myself of all the flaws she had. It will take time, but eventually you will get over it
>>696237621 I'm not hotstuff anon but what he said is actually good advice, never give another person that much power over you, no matter if its your family member, the love of your life or a nigerian prince on the internet
>>696232172 >Any chance that there's an afterlife and I get to see him?
Let me kindly explain why.
In 2014 scientists have discovered that consciousness does NOT die after the brain does, in fact, you can still hear/see. Google the study yourself and you'll see, I forgot the link.
Most of the religions are like : >''hurr durr if you suicide you go to hell''
There is NO such things as hell, fire hell and stuff like that.The only thing that will happen is you'll feel guilty that you did it and you'll witness and feel the pain of the others who will let you behind.
What I suggest you to do is get professional help and try to move on. If he was your boyfriend he WANTS you to move on. He would be sad if you kill yourself ! If it was your dad/friend, kinda the same.
Try to pray, try to be more religious and ask God for CLEAR signs and they shall be revealed to you.Ask, for example, to dream the one who died and to talk to him.
Try evp too.Hell is metaphorically and was put in the bible in order to scare people off.Hell is actually an abyss full of your memories, consciousness and pain.
I wanna give you the warmest hug, anon(or femanon) and don't worry, everything will be okay.
>>696237929 well, I did and I don't regret it. I spent some wonderful times with that chubby bitch. I loved her and she loved me and I fucked up and she left me. Such is life but those are the choices I made at the time.
Anyway, you should let yourself get your heart broken at least once.
>>696238572 It was close enough to prove that it's a validation and that your loved one is still there wishing you the best.
Take it like this : you have a girlfriend/boyfriend and YOU die.You get to heaven/stay here only with your memories and consciousness/float in the universe/whatever, what's the advice would you give it to your widow ?
Exactly, you'd want them to stay strong, fight,look for tomorrow and move on to live a happy life.
>>696238214 Not the guy you responded to, but can you little shits please stop your patronizing 'I know you just want to hide your pain' bullshit? Not everyone on 4chan is a depressed sack of shit and some just visit these threads because they're baffled by how ridiculous some people in here behave. A solid 20-30% of the posters are the literal incarnation of the 'forever alone' meme.
>>696238998 I'm pretty sure like 90% of it are just fake. But honestly, if you browse /b/ you're fucked up to a certain extent. I guess some of these guys were fucked with by other people and come here to see if anyone can relate.
>>696238723 >Most/all of these are school stories >of me being alpha as fuck >or of the world turning against me fully If you actually think that either of those things happen in school, you're a retard.
>>696239184 >if you browse /b/ you're fucked up to a certain extent Can you please stop pretending like /b/ is this secret evil websites full of broken/fucked up people? 4chan for a while now has been nothing more than a mainstream website like any other. Sure, the humor is a little darker, people lare more inclined to be cynical, but in general, /b/ isn't this hub of sociopaths that people makeit out to be. For most people, it's just a place to let out their inner asshole every once in a while.
I loved how you had to state you don't believe in the afterlife, as if that is synonymous with god, and religion. I'm always utterly irritated by that, as if you can't have god with out religion, or religion with out god, they're beliefs. You can have them any way you want them, doesn't necessarily make them any more accurate. God isn't religious any more than atheism isn't a belief. Atheism is a belief, people will tell you differently, but its silly to argue it, you don't believe in god, you don't believe in god. Having to state you don't believe in god every 5 to 10 minutes leads a lot of people to the conclusion that maybe you're not sure what you believe in. All I am saying it, the whole "i don't believe in afterlife" bit was redundant, in english we'd call that pointless information.
>be me >born into poor family >dad abuse me and family >mom always told me to do well in school and ill make it >get high grades >get scholarship to private high school >get full ride to pretty high ranked uni >study Chemical Engineering >get job at a pretty big pharmaceutical company making 6 figures >move out and finally get my own place to live with my mom >have a good group of friends that with me since high school, along with new ones from college I seem to have everything i want. i should feel blessed or happy but i always just feel empty and put on a happy face for everyone. Maybe i need to get married or something because i always feel alone even with people
>>696239653 My point is that in maybe 5 years or so, you will look back on your teenage life as very inconsequential. The world doesn't turn on you and you aren't a hero during your school life. It only appears that way to you because you have no frame of reference. But ok, give me some examples.
I don't know about that, I regularly see gore threads here, and all I am saying is, pretty fucked up. I think we're all fucked up here, you visit this site more than once, you're fucked up. but life is one big fucked up piece of cake, and all of us are the toppings on the big fucked up cake.
>>696240033 fair enough. I probably jumped to conclusion as I see, I get irritated, I see that whole "Atheism is master belief and I am smart"and I am not saying thats what you were doing though, just my hot blood getting me worked up.
i chilled out, but I didn't have to admit to anything I said, i went out of my way to say that to you because I felt that I did jump to conclusion, but to me, I feel a bit better saying it now, cause it seems like that's the type of person you are.
>year and a half ago >be fucked up alcoholic - killing myself and my future slowly >reach summer >finally get around to watching bojack horseman >marathon both seasons in a few days >like every depressive, it hits me quite hard >realise i don't want to end up like that >work on drinking less and fixing myself >not easy >barely drink by november >life's less crazy and 'fun', but i also find myself not needing to drink just to forget everything i've done in the last week >get a serious gf in december out of nowhere >feel like i've finally started fixing my life >everything's on track >this summer >haven't seen gf in over a month, won't see for 2 months since i live in another country when not in uni >she's getting clingy and i kinda want to break up with her >Scared of being alone again >new season of bojack comes out >watch it >feel a sense of remorse and jealousy watching him fuck up his life in a massive bender >craving a drink really badly >last year of uni coming up i'm self-destructive and just wanted to unload that's not my full story, just what im feeling right now
>>696237749 I just want something to hold on to, you know? >>696238149 Thank you nice anon, I'll try doing that, I dreamed about my dead brothers so many times, but I wanna believe that it's actually him talking to me. >>696238217 You made me cry, Thanks, I can't know if I'll ever move on since he was everything to me.
>>696240030 I'm just gonna post my school life story because I have absolutely nothing fucking better to do on Sunday night. >Be me >Be like 5 >First school >Christian academy in Florida >Expensive as hell >Rich kids (I am mid-class fag) >First day this little bitch walks up >"Hi I'm Anon!" >"I hate you Anon" >What.jpg >I'm still a fucking spaz toddler >Be confused, do nothing >Get in tons of trouble >Loud and rude in school chapel >School kids bully me >Wedgies, whip me with my uniform belt >Worst was when they took my backpack, threw it in a urinal full of piss, and flushed >They get in huge trouble >Be sad kiddo >Continue to embarrass self for a while >First Grade >New school >Living in Delaware >Kids here are slightly nicer >They don't talk to me but aren't dicks >Parents currently going through shit, I am kis who doesn't understand Cont
>>696241363 >Thank you nice anon, I'll try doing that, I dreamed about my dead brothers so many times, but I wanna believe that it's actually him talking to me.
By the way, here's an important tip : Pray every night, you don't have to be in a certain position, just pray, focus and concentrate very well on this ! And ask God to dream about them talking to you and telling you how's the after life and BE SPECIFIC because God is not boring and he will give you exactly what you want.
>>696241532 Fuck, *kid Cont >New elementary school for second grade >Maryland this time >Don't talk to anyone for a while >Make friends over Pokemon >Lots of fucking friends >Whole school likes me, President of the Pokemon Club and the only Pokemon Master >Them tween bitches all over me >Girls fight over who plays with me at recess >Fuck yeah >Buy fucktons of cheap Pokemon cards and basically give them out in trades (they turned out to be fake) > Plus ten charisma >I'm the coolest ten year old >Ten year old girlfriend is hottie >Parents are fighting on Christmas while I play Link To The Past >"Anon it's time to go to Grammy's house" >"Okay Mom!" >Live at grandma's house for a while >Same school and shit >Stay with Dad on weekends >No idea why this is going on >Don't care, my life is great >Walk to beach with friends every weekend >I'm the lord of the tweens >One year of cool shit >Dad fucking dies out of nowhere >I'm in fifth grade ATM >AsfuckedupasIcanbe.jpg >Sadness passes pretty quick being like 11 >I have to go to a different middle school than all my friends >I'm actually sad now >Move in with new stepdaddy cont, the story really does pick up
>>696242058 What's common about my dreams is that my brother rarely talks, he just stares at me most of my dreams. In one of my dreams I told him if you're alive why am I depressed and he just smiled and didn't say anything, these kinds of dreams makes me feel like it's really him you know? a dude in my place would believe anything. I know I might sound crazy to some people but I sometimes think that it's not just my mind but it's actually him, I'll start following your guide today, I hope it'll work. I miss him so much and I'm very close to kill myself.
Been severely depressed and suicidal for years now. Daily panic attacks, usually multiple a day. Also have Aspergers.
Grandmother died last night of Leukaemia. Loved her very much. Finding it hard to process, almost still expect her to come in through the door with things from the local bakery and ask me to stick the kettle on for some tea. She came to see me every day when I was housebound due to chronic depression and severe anxiety, I had no one else. She never knew that by doing so, saved my life for a time, even with such a simple gesture. She got me out of the house at times when without her I would have spent sustained periods of time locked in my room.
Not close to anyone else in family. Mother called me an embarrassment after I tore my hair out from stress, have a huge bald patch on my head, have to wear a hat when I leave the house. Live with my parents, but I don't amount to much more than a financial/emotional burden and a disgusting parasite. Only person I have now is my friend that I met at university. I love her more than anything, but she'll be better off without me. I'm doing them all a favour.
I've been hearing voices telling me it was my fault my grandmother died (I know I can't seriously logically come to that conclusion, she was very ill) and I still can't help but feel incredibly guilty. I'm a really horrible excuse for a person. I have a huge university project deadline due in a fortnight and art commissions due within the week but I can't get my head together long enough to focus on even getting a sketch done.
Going to kill myself this week, either hang myself or OD, Probably the former.
>>696243149 By the way, if they are in a good place, like heaven, they look rejuvenated, they radiate LOVE and bright colors, they radiate light and pace. You know why they wouldn't show themselves in that form ? Because you'd be too excited/amazed/happy/scared/whatever that your brain will wake you up.
Do no, please, there is hope and they're not dead.They want you to hand in there and have a happy life. There's no pain in heaven so I guess they wouldn't like to know that...they want the best of you.
>playing the new Metal Gear >"Boss, we need you here at the base right now. Its an emergency" >get there expecting a boss fight >all the main characters and some random soldiers show up with a cake and start singing happy birthday >i cant stop smiling like a fucking idiot >that was the closest thing ive ever had to a surprise party and it was the only "happy birthday" i got
I had to stop playing after that because i was almost crying.
>>696242662 Cont 2 >Middle school >I don't know anyone >I live in rural nowhere now with no kids my age for miles >I'm actually a little depressed, playing lots of vidya gamz >First day of school >First friend is total fucking spaz >Not friends for long >Make new friends >I'm pretty sure these cunts use 4chan now >They're massive cunts >Let's call them Deerfucker, Karate nigger, Tallfag, and Filthy Frank (his obsession later) >Karate nigger is best friend for a while >Karate nigger constantly puts me down >Karate nigger beats the shit out of me a lot >I get in lots of trouble with these fags >They all verbally abuse me at lunchtime >Deerfucker starts using my dead dad as a punchline >Really harps hard on it >I decide to stop hanging around the,, except Karate nigger >Late 6th grade now >New friend >This cunt will be here all the way through highschool pulling shit >Call him Pepe >Pepe is way more of a social outcast than me >Pepe uses 4chan now by the way >Hi pepe >Fuck you Pepe >Pepe isn't too bad at first >Pokemon Master too >Bond over Pokemon >Pepe is wealthy >Hang around Pepe >Sixth grade summer sees a lot of Pepe's pool, Pokemon, Pizza Cont, shit gets good up next, I promise
>>696243817 Thank you again kind anon. Maybe there's a day will come where I don't cry myself to sleep and know for sure that my brother is in a better place. I hope God will see how broken I am and give me a chance. inb4 there's no God
>>696244719 You're welcome. God let all thing be, including good and bad, free will and force. Every one of us, if we were a god, would make a world with good and evil too.
Just close your every device in your room, meditate, clear your thoughts and try to feel a connection with God and ask God, ask Jesus, ask Mary, ask the saints, ask the holy spirit, ask them to show you clear signs and tell them "please, god, i really want to know if my brother is in a better place, i really love him and I would die only to spend a second with him, just show him in my dreams and let him talk to me" this and ask for signs like "I pray to you God, if you exist and my brother is in a better place, make a bird sign next to my window within a month, please" and keep praying because you WILL get the desired results.
And do not think he's in hell or some sort like that...demons are just 12 years old cancers that browse 4chan and post random stuff and bananas then reply to themselves with ''lele xD"
>>696244075 Cont 3 >7th grade >Notice Pepe has no friends >Pepe can't make friends >Pepe is a degenerate >Be alpha >Pepe is omega >Try to help Pepe rank up to Beta at least >Pepe is super bitter and angry about life >He's a spoiled rotten kid at home >Push over parents >Gets everything he fucking wants >Pepe once went on a family cruise >A new game system was coming out >I forget which one, nintendo shit >Limited edition >Cruise stops in Florida >Pepe goes full REEEEEE mode >Mother Pepe drives Pepe to Gamestop or some shit by renting car >Mother Pepe spends hundreds on game system >Drive back, holding up entire boat of people because this shit head had to go 90 minutes to a Gamestop with the damn thing >Pepe is pretty damn cringy >Hi again Pepe, you're still cringy >Make some more friends >These ones are fucking cool >From this point on almost everyone including me has a nickname they're known by IRL >Deadpool is one friend, small girl with lots of issues >Unicorn is another friend, bigger girl, the most normal of the bunch >These guys don't get along with Pepe >Conflicts >Side with anti-cringe >The shitstorm of Pepe begins >I continue trying to mentor Pepe in Alpha arts >Pepe fails alpha school miserably >Pepe harasses girls hardcore >Reported once or twicee
cont, fucking line limit. Anon's right, this is my first greentext and I'm known to be a long winded writer
>>696245655 I do believe in God. No matter how far science went, it'll never be logical to me that no one created this life. (plate-like bones with a "spongy" structure at different points in the skull helped distribute the incoming force, thereby protecting the brain. The team stresses that it is the combination of the three, rather than any one feature, that keeps woodpeckers pecking without injury) who made this? who made these bones so a woodpecker won't be injured? this is why I believe in God. I'll pray to God so I can see my brother. You helped me so much anon
>>696229289 >be me >22 lvl >the only child >studying industrial safety >never had a gf >introvert >going to a wedding on saturday, yup without partner >few friends >feels bad every day thinking about my life
>>696246394 Cont 4, I don't care if no one reads it >I meet Nyan Cat >Nyan Cat is dating Jew Mcgoo >ATM me and Jew Mcgood aren't friends >Steal the bitch after they fight >Be at her house >First kiss >First make out >She subtly offers me BJ >7th grade me doesn't understand >Months later >She dumps me on Christmas >She drops out of school >She lived down my street for 6 more years and I never heard from her again >Near end of 7th grade >Tallfag is walking behind me as we leave the gym >Tallfag punches me in the back of the head >Think it was someone else >Punch that guy's shoulder not hard, tell him to fuck off >He hits me in the face with binder on strap >Textbooks in it >My face is purple for two weeks >The binder zipper left a cut at the corner of my eye >A year later I need glasses >Kid gets suspended for ten days, I get one for the punch >Massive respect for that fight >I don't know why >Kid shows up at school next week with two Airsoft guns he thinks are real >The tallfag and Pink guy see the guns and ask wtf >Kid's gonna shoot me >Tallfag and Filthy Frank decide to be cool >Call the police >Kid gets arrested >Tallfag and Filthy Frank aren't dicks any more >Friend Deadpool comes out as trans >Friend Unicorn is pansexual >Pepe is still harassing girls >The joke of the school is now that Pepe is my pet dog because I drag him away from girls Tl;Dr: Get fucked up, almost have school shooting, friends are weird, Pepe is getting worse
>>696246695 >I do believe in God. No matter how far science went
The theory of evolution was disproved by SCIENCE and many many scientist believe in God (as in the Creator). Sure, of course we don't have to believe "hurr durr believe in jesus or ur gonna get ur ass burned in hell 4eva'' ; I hope you get my point.
And even if you dream something weird, try to metaphorically understand the dream. Example : I asked god if he's really real and loves me to give me a dream where I dream my future huband. 2 days passed by and nothing. On the third day I was too tired to pray and just slept.I dreamed him, he was with me, with my family, we were together, we didn't really communicate in that dream. Will he become my husband ? Probably not Is that a sign that I'll find a husband to love and care about with the help of God? Yes.
Also, you may wanna look up on the article about what people experience after they die.They couldn't keep the dude dead more than 3 minutes. He recalled some things that had happened to him and they actually had happened !
Get my points ?
Of course God created everything in balance.We're not too far away from the Sun, not too close, we have the right atmosphere, the right elements, etc. Of course, God created the '''ay lmaos'' too, we're not alone in this universe, and they're most likely to know God more about us.
I'm so glad I helped you, anon, I love you and stay strong for your brother and pray for him, for his soul and think about him when you feel down , think that he wants you to keep fighting.
>>696247035 Oh, you're a fag who rot in hell and came back? If so, then kekkels to you, m8
>>696247291 omg anon! you're life is so bad! i can't imagine going to a wedding without a date! if only there were a bunch of single women there! and maybe if the wedding had loads of alcohol making people forget their inhibitions. and if the entire event was to celebrate 2 people falling in love thus making everyone single feel vulnerable and seeking out romance wherever they could shame that's not the case eh?
>Be me, freshman year of college >Have gf >Meet girl >Has BF >Like her >She tells me she likes me >Break up with GF >Even writes me a letter >"Youre unlike any other guy, not just a roadblock for my relationship. Always thinking about you. Think if my parents would like you. But my BF is comfort zone and idk what itll take to finally leave him. But when that is im afraid you won't want me anymore" >I assure her that I will. That I wouldnt take her for granted like BF >She's always flirty with me >Even hints she wouldnt have minded if I had slept in her bed after my roommate and I spent the night in their room >Always jokingly tries to make me jealous and stuff >A month after the letter she texts me >Says because she has her bf she wants to be friends >Think she means scale it back >Nothing changes in terms of her being flirty and makinf me jelly >Fast forward another month, day before school >Implies she doesn't like me anymore >I ask why >"Nothing you did we just click as friends in my eyes >Wtf.jpg >Spiral and dont speak to her for like a month >She texts me about seeing my bro enlist in the army >"Tell him congrats" >Lel will do >"I know you hate me so we dont have to talk if you dont want" >I dont hate her >FF to now >Still with BF >Talk on phone most every day for at least an hour >Im the only one she calls >Still like her >Want to believe she still has feelings too
>>696247292 That's not fucking prjecting. Projecting would have been if I believed that wealth and black-tie events were synonymous with success and then accused you of thinking that way instead of admitting that's the way I thought. But that's obviously not what happened.
Grandma should have turned 72 today. She passed away on the 8th of May this year. Father works a few thousand kilometers away. I love my mother but we get into small fights almost daily. Almost had my first girlfriend today, but I'm a beta fuck and I think I lost her, didn't have the guts to go and talk to her. 3 in the morning and I'm crying in front of a monitor. Fuck life.
>27 >a year ago quite literally went insane from stress >quit my not-so-bad job because it was stressing me out at the time, by not showing up to work anymore >kept getting phone calls, couldn't answer them because anxiety was too high and I had no explanation for why I wasn't coming back >convinced myself it was my destiny to succeed and things would be okay no matter what >took out a credit card despite having no way of paying it back and maxed it out paying moving expenses, moved to the city to be closer to university >failed miserably in school partly because of financial stress and partly from other sources >shut down and stopped going >threw away my relationship of 5 years by being an insensitive and self-centered prick too caught up in my insanity to care for another human being >thought I didn't love her anymore but ever since my head cleared I just wish I had those days back >got another job, subsequently lost it the same way because of depression, anxiety, and physical illnesses >that makes most of my work history for the last 5 years irrelevant on a resume >even if I get a job again there's no telling if I can handle it >in massive student debt with a maxed out credit card still >each day I try to cling to life but the best I can do is either ignore my problems completely or sink into deep depression and wish I could end it already >don't wanna die, don't know how to keep on living
>>696247417 Cont 5, freshman year edition >Get accepted into STEM program >High level program for kids into sciences >Have to do summer class >We use this shitty school social network to communicate within the program >Pepe meets Nova over shitty network >Pepe crushes hard on her >Pepe portrays himself as not sleazy >Go to movies with some girls I befriended >They're hella comic nerds, call each other ny Avengers names >Kinda cringy >Girl called Thor is super into me >Thor asks me out >Whynot.exe >Go to movies >Awkward but sweet chick >We talk ALL Summer >Time for summer classes though >Nova is in my summer class >Pepe loses shit because he think's I'll steal grill >Pepe what the fuck dude >Pepe demands I make friends with her and make him sound good >Do become friends with Nova >Don't really talk about Pepe >Nova is now part of group >Suggest double date with Nova, Pepe, Thor and I >Absolute disaster, Pepe is worse than ever before, throws tantrums >Nova is not into it >Pepe is bitter as all hell Tl;Dr: New girlfriend, Pepe is even worse, new friend Nova
I hear voices and think of killing myself everyday. The voices don't help much tho. One or two tell me to stay alive but most of them just say that is time to me kill myself. It gets worse when it's silent so I use headphones most of the time
>>696248899 >I'm weird, asocial guy who doesn't fit to this world. there's a whole subset of alt girls who love guys like that that they can be counter-culture with you just need confidence in your own actions and some directionless girl will grow interested in you and latch on
>>696248881 Or maybe I have this image of shallow people in my mind who equate them without believing in that it myself? Your logic is like saying 'if you dislike rapists, then you are jsut projecting your own thoughts of rape onto other people'. Are you fucking following here?
>>696248420 Cont 6 >First Day >Hang out with Avengers >STEM kids are in all different classes than non-STEM >STEM kids are pretty cool >Meet Gengar, he's really cool >I forgot to mention it but my nickname is Satan, this was a source of lots of torment since I've had the name since grade 6 when it replaced Razor Eater >Most STEM kids keep to themselves but I make friends with most of program >Shit, Pepe is in this program >Pepe and I aren't in classes together >Pepe is harassing the living hell out of Nova >Follows her, sniffs her hair, calls her names, tries to get her in trouble, tries to fuck up her work, the whole deal >Nova reports him >Pepe becomes more of a stereotypical channer, misogynistic racist homophobe >See Pepe call a bunch of black kids niggers >Grab Pepe and run, throw him into STEM room, tell black guys he went the other way >Pepe is pissed at me for grabbing him >Fuck you Pepe Tl;Dr: Pepe is getting to be a more disgusting human, I'm making friends at my new highschool
>>696249421 >Or maybe I have this image of shallow people in my mind who equate them without believing in that it myself? That's still projecting since your assuming that I'm one of those shallow people by talking about success
>Your logic is like saying 'if you dislike rapists, then you are jsut projecting your own thoughts of rape onto other people'. No it's not. Your logic is akin to assuming that someone who defends a rapist must be a rapist themself
>>696249450 >haha I mask my sense of pointlessness by getting wasted and posting on a website that got famous because of child porn >haha I'm pretending to be happy and deep because I contribute nothing to society and hate myself >haha
>>696249844 >That's still projecting since your assuming that I'm one of those shallow people by talking about success That's not fucking projecting then. If I call you an asshole, I'm insulting you. No person would say 'he projected his image of an asshole onto him'. >Your logic is akin to assuming that someone who defends a rapist must be a rapist themself Dude, I was pointing out YOUR faulty logic here, not presenting my own. Are you just too dumb to follow basic sentences at this point?
>>696250168 I do, unfortunately, and I get angry on them :/ But I just assume that they're some retarded close-minded 39-ish neckbeard basement dwellers who fap to little bois and move on with my life.
>>696250208 >If I call you an asshole, I'm insulting you. No person would say 'he projected his image of an asshole onto him'. You didn't call me an asshole though, you assumed i was an asshole and then argued that being an asshole makes me really shallow that is projecting yes You're also an idiot, I don't know why I keep replying to you
>>696249647 Cont 7 because I know no one gives a shit >Deadpool and Unicorn are hanging with Avengers, Gengar too >Lunch hour hangout is now the stairwell landing by English department >Deadpool is suicidal and confides in me >Deadpool says I'm the strongest person he knows and wants to be more like me >Help Deadpool out of depression for a while >Deadpool gets medication and recovers >This happens more >Pepe and Deadpool hate each other >Pepe begins attacking Deadpool >"Pepe leave right now before I punch you" >Drag Pepe away like the cool guy >Pepe shouts back "Let her hit me! Let the school hate her like she hates herself!" >Tell Pepe I won't hesitate to fucking kill him if he shows up near Deadpool again >Grab his slimy neck and throw him out of stairwell Tl;Dr; Kinda fight with Pepe, save alife
>>696250480 >I don't know why I keep replying to you because you're a fucking retard who can't make a single coherent point. That's why you have to keep amending your stupid bullshit with every new comment.
>>696250639 Cont 8 >Pepe is trying to ruin friends lives >Ignoring Pepe >My girlfriend is getting distant, I'm trying to get her interested again >I act more extreme to draw her attention and it works kinda well, but other people get sick of it fast >At this point I'm struggling in school and my family is distant AF from me, both parents always working and not paying attention. >Several things happen in rapid succession >A Gay-Straight Alliance club forms, Deadpool meets his boyfriend there, Call him Cockguzzler >Cockguzzler used to be friends with me, but wasn't noticeable >Cockguzzler convinces Deadpool and Unicorn to not talk to me, that I'm a shitty person >I don't need them anyway >Gf is what matters >Valentines Day is coming up, I'm gonna make it special >She dumps me on Valentines, say's she's an Asexual Lithoromantic >Looking back I may have dodged a bullet Tl;Dr I've lost most of my friends now
> I have no idea why a nice person like you would go to website like 4chan.
Because I tried other sites...they told me I'm the one to blame because I'm depressed, not that he hit me and beat me up... Because I'm lonely, because no one loves me, because everyone around me doesn't give a shit about me, because I'm in pain...because I laugh at YLYL threads, because I post and laugh about "it's not gay if her penis is feminine'' threads, because I only have you /b/ros, because I've been lurking for years here, because I'm a weirdo,because there are people in my situation and that I am not alone, I dunno
Whenever I think about my relationship with my first and only gf, i hate myself so hard for how much affection and energy i wasted, i want to impale myself with a large metal implement. Usually in the torso or neck. Its been 6 years and I still feel this way.
>>696252262 omg, I am so sorry that I suggested alcohol because i am this >>696233224 And please don't say such things. You have us, we are your /b/ros. I care and I'm always here to listen. You'll get rid of that pain. I love you anon and stay safe. Please remember that whenever you're in a really bad train of thoughts come around here. I'll always be here <3
>>696252121 Cont 9 because at least one guy is reading >Depressed because GF dumped me >Did I mention in the 8 months we were together we kissed once, nothing else >I never got to those 15 year old D-cup tits >Other Avengers leave me behind because they were just proxy friends >Nova, a few other STEM people really hating me because that shit I did to impress Thor was pretty dick-ish >Gengar is still a friend, even to today he's a total fucking bro >While this is going on, Nova starts dating Deadpool's ex-boyfriend, call him Shulk >Shulk is the most boring motherfucker >Pepe reappaers to try and cause shit for Shulk and Nova >Nova files another report fucking fast >Pepe nearly gets kicked from program >Starts spreading rumors on what a slut Nova is >Nova is kinda well liked, so it only hurts Pepe's reputation further >Every girl in STEM is disgusted by Pepe >Pepe is really fucking ugly by the way, doesn't try to hide it either >Teachers hating Pepe because he acts like a fucking spoiled 4 year old >This one fucking faggot named Timmy starts walking up behind me in the cafeteria every morning >Timmy doesn't get a nickname. Fuck you Timmy. >Timmy is a HUGE fucking autist >Way cringier faggot than Dave, just not as mean spirited >This nigger hits my back hard every morning like he's beating fucking drums >Imagine a jellyfish on a pinwheel, thats how his arms moved >Two months of this shit >I'm confiding all of my frustration in Nova because she still listens to me Tl:Dr New autist, original autist levels up, I have precisely one friend
>>696253397 Oh, I know what you mean. Is there anyone for you in real life? like not online, I am worried, do you have anyone irl? even tho never forget that we're always here for you whenever you need us/me
>>696254042 >>696254042 >>696254042 >>696235737 >>her >>women played with muh heart >fuck all you beta bitches weeping over some girl. get over yourselves. there is so much more to live for and so much more to feel sad about.
>>696253378 Cont 10, I'll stop when i'm done nigger >Nova is being a cunt, offers no help other than venting, being mean about it >I get sick of Timmy >Shulk and I are talking about Smash brothers or some shit >Timmy walks up behind >TheJellyFishActivates.png >Elbow him hard >He runs like usual >Chase him this time >He hits a wall of people, I can grab him >Grab his shoulder, he turns around and pulls back his fist >Smack the shit out of his face with free hand >Throw him on the ground >Shout I'll fucking kill him if I ever see his faggot ass again >Get applause because Timmy is a fag >Even the gay guys call Timmy a fag >Don't get in trouble >Don't hear from that bitch for a while >Run into Deadpool >Hear Deadpool broke up with Cockguzzler >Cockguzzler told everyone I led him on in a teasing way for months, then crushed his dreams because the day he wanted to ask me out was the day Thor broke up with me, and he realized I'm straight >My friends weren't sure if he was lying or not >I was being a dick so they assumed the worst Tl;Dr, Beat up autist, shit gets kinda happier after this
>>696254283 dubs only speaks the truth so I meant it when I said we're here for you, I know i'll sound stupid but can't you go back to college? you can start over and start knowing people, new people. Try to rebuild yourself. In your day to day life don't you see any people who might you find nice? and that you can start a friendship with them? and when do you think you'll be able to date again?
>>696239881 That's the "comfort zone" that we're trained to stay in. Life doesn't seem full filling anymore. Get an education, job, married, etc. are goals most people have. Take some of that money and go on a trip somewhere and do something. Find out who you are
>>696229289 So in the Last day of my Life, I will see a rich man pass by the Alley Way that my sick and old dying Hobo self. Huh, well fuck him I enjoyed my life, he's probably walking to the court house right now to file his divorce.
>>696254516 Cont 11 >9th grade year soon to end >I still chill in the stairwell mostly alone at lunch >These two new bitches show up there with some of my proxy friends visiting >These two fucking annoy me >They're lowkey taunting lonely guy me >Eventually walk over, one bitch tries to take the DS I'm playing on >Push her away gently >Other bitch fucking backhands me, says don't touch her friend >Get really, really pissed >Bitch who tried to take the DS has a gatorade bottle >Grab the bottle, my stuff, leave >Come back five minutes later through other entrance of stairwell >Throw the bottle fucking hard at the ground near the bitches >They're both wearing white >The bottle fucking shatters and splashes them >Feelsgoodman.jpeg >Next day in stairwell those bitches are gone, new girl is there >Talk to her >Get into small fight with someone else, tell them to fuck off >Put arm around new girl >"Come here sexy" >"N-no one's ever called me that before, Satan" >Text her like crazy for a few days >Make a bet over a card game >If I win, I'm her first kiss and first boyfriend >If she wins, we stop talking >There are like 15 aces in my fucking sleeve >Win, ask her if she's sure about the bet >She kisses me >Levelup.bin Tl;Dr Two bitches get a gatorade bath and I get a new grill. Pepe returns in the next part
>>696255530 >i'll suggest a change in meds too from my dr. why? and bro never give up. Make it obvious that you're looking for love, not lust. And you will find that special one someday, you need to forget about that stupid dude, he was not good to you. Try to forget him. One day you will and you will have a husband who loves you and take care of you, keep in mind that every story has a happy ending. You will be happy eventually.
>>696236759 Maybe it's because I'm becoming more of a "normie", but I have to agree with you.
I used to like these threads, but after taking some time off 4chan they just seem like a circlejerk of guys getting left by their gf and a few pics or quotes thrown in about stuff that sounds deep but doesn't really do a good job of capturing negative emotions.
>>696255530 My ex gf left me when I was hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital for a psychotic episode and massive anxiety. I never experienced mental illness before, I was just so confused. Like a frightened animal.This is a year ago, It still hurts me so much but here's what I found out.
In your deepest moments love is quite meaningless. When your brains all screwed up, you can't register affection, can't register beauty, you can only experience anguish. Get on top first, get your life in order. Feel the bliss and beauty in experiencing life on your own again. All else is secondary.
>>696229289 >implying everyone wants to turn into a 50 yr old impotent businessman with a wife and children that hate him and never has time for anything except work and playing golf sunday afternoon with his fellow 50 yr old business partners that hate him as well that image is bullshit
>>696256280 Cont 12 >New grill nickname is Bunny >Bunny and I are still together right now >All of my old friends are friends with bunny I find out >SHITSTORM of death threats, everyone wants her to dump me >Her way of stopping this is to be all fucking over me around friends >She kisses me in front of them, They complain about PDA, she sticks her tongue in my mouth >This girl is awesome >I cut out basically everyone else because now everyone is pretty much leaving me alone >Pepe comes at odds with Bunny >I bring her to school Smash brothers club and they meet for the first time > "So are you Anon's girlfriend?" >"Yeah, why?" >"Why the hell are you dating that worthless bastard?" >She punches him hard in the fucking face >Run over and hold her arms behind her >Pepe is fucking SCREAMING >Pepe is ranting about how much of a whore she is, how horrible I am, basically gone full retard >Pull Bunny behind me, ask proxy friends to watch her for a second >A couple of STEM guys who hate Pepe walk up >These guys are both 6ft + >Pepe is intimidated >Stand between my STEM brothers and escort Pepe out, look cool as fuck >Ask Bunny what happened >Hear explanation >Ten minutes later I'm at second base behind some lockers Tl;Dr: Grill ranks Pepe lower than Omega, shit gets good for me again
>>696257439 I am sorry you went through this...leaving someone you claim to ''love'' is the worst thing a human being can do, but I feel that love is the only thing that keeps me alive, that makes me climb on mountaints and that can make me feel like i'm flying and can be on top of the world
>>696257446 Change them for now, but one day hopefully soon you'll stop using them, I hope you meet nice people when you go back to college and find that special someone :) it's not far and don't give up. You'll be okay. Take this from an stranger online, You'll be okay and things will get better. :)
Yeah used to think like that once as well. It surely has value, and wouldn't understate the significance it has in enhancing your happiness. But if you're fundamentally unhappy about yourself, there is not a person in the world who can fix that, or so I believe. But that's a positive thing in itself, just imagine being a master of your own destiny and feeling amazing about life on your own, and THEN finding the right person. I btw believe you can experience a great deal without medication.
>>696257663 Cont 13 >Pepe tries to report Bunny to school >School really hates Pepe, doesn't believe him >He's a fucking shitshow in class trying to fuck with me, my STEM brethren are kinda getting cool with me again because they hate him >As you can obviously tell from my writing, I can verbally destroy this fag when he insults me >I'm a black belt, he's a scrawny fuck >He tries to spread rumors but no one believes him >He goes for me in private whining about how it's my fault his life sucks >I spent two and a half years trying to help this sorry son of a bitch >Fuck you Pepe >Pepe has no friends right now >Pepe never had friends after me >Pepe just kept making enemies >Pepe gets nearly kicked from program often because every teacher, student, and counselor despises him >Start acting more Alpha and less tryhard beta because Bunny is way more into that, and it feels way more natural >Bunny starts confiding things in me >Bunny has a laundry list of personal, mental, social, and family issues >Help her work through a lot of them >Get laid >Feel kinda like I made her think she owed me it >Feel kinda guilty >Get laid again >Not guilty Tl;Dr: Should I keep going?
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