I fucked up big down here at the jersey shore. Pedo tendencies

>>695077049

hiding in a portopotty from police outside and you decide to snap a pick and ask for advice on 4chan looks like you're toast man

You're going to be labeled a sex offender for the rest of your life which is worse than death. Run and hope you never get pulled over.

OP, what have you done?

Give me your pc without the hard drives pls

>>695078474
I smelled some little girls tuna. Didn't even try to hide the fact I wanted to.

>>695078714
What did it smell like?

Tell the story please

>>695078714
....Is that a euphemism? Otherwise I may have more questions.

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>>695077049
If you're in seaside just jump off the mathis you fucking benny

>>695077049
Hang yourself. That's what you should do.

Little girl just sitting there spread eagle. Playing in the sand. She was so adorable. I saw some tuna fins poking out and I just kneeled down and pressed my nose into them and inhaled. Oblivious to her mother sitting next to her. She screamed, I ran to the pier.

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Still there. Dick what do I do

>>695079626
>The stories and information posted here are autistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>695080146
Fap to your memory of the smell.

do they know you're their ?

Why would you run to a porta john instead of the fuck outta there

>>695080146
how old are you?

You better start running nigger

Live stream your arrest OP, try to get shot

>>695077049
This could be a cool thred.

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>>695080462
No but they now there's a police dog

>>695079005
haha

>>695078714
>Tuna
Like at a restaurant or....
Dammit OP, you are retarded.
If that's the police you are fucked.
If it's the girl or a guy, run with your face covered, grab the phone run, and move away.

>>695077049

post your face, we'll photoshop the jail and the bars and the drunkeniggers sodomizing you

>>695080843
If only it was real

>>695080777
Trips have spoken

>>695078941

like tuna, of course.

you can tune a radio, but you can't tunafish

Enjoy getting railed by Jamal in jail

>>695080777
This

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>>695080303
if this thread doesn't end with something like "you mother will die in her sleep no immunities", I'll suck my own cock
or at least I'll try to

>>695077049
YOU HAVE BEEN VISITED BY THE ISLAMIC TRUCK OF TOLERANCE

______________¶___
|religion of peace ||l “”|””\__,_
|______________|||__|__|__|] beep beep!
(@)@)*********(@)(@)**(@)

POST THIS IN ANOTHER THREAD OR YOUR PENIS WILL SHRINK 2 INCHES TONIGHT

>>695080888
OK OP here's what you do, you're stuck in a portajohn with nowhere to go, backs against the wall and the cops are closing in fast, cover yourself in shit from the portajohn, the dog wont be able to track your scent if you smell like general shit, whilst they recoil in horror you sprint as fast you can and jump off the pier and swim OP, swim for your life

>>695080901
do this but dont run, if you are seen running they are gonna be on you so fuckin fast.

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>>695080888
Okay so they don't know where you are.
But time is on your side, you're probably trolling tho.
Right?

Lol, who behaves like this?

>>695080888
I call bullshit right here.

if this thread gets epic someone make sure to screen cap

>>695081303

why?
did he say that police dogs only arrest dogs?

>>695081315
We are not your slave dude.

How about you stop being lazy.


Also, hi mom.

ur fucked

Just passing thru

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I managed to get into the crowd at the concert down here. I'm so fucking scared guys I'll pay anyone to come pick me up

OP, was the girl like bottomless or was she wearing like beach clothes? What did she smell like? Did you just drop to your knees in the sand and took a big sniff?

pics or didnt happen

what's behind you?

Here's an idea, OP
Don't hide in a big, obvious box in plain sight.
It's like hiding in the closet in some bad horror movie.
Of course they're going to check the porta potties. Matter of time.

if dubs op been caught

>Jersey shore

Nobody fucking cares there, that's pretty much normal for them.

Just walk out with your head held high.

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Delicious sweet tuna.

>>695077049
turn yourself in, but work your asshole out first. It's gonna take a beating

OP go back for the girl

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You should go full retard if you get caught, but try and get out of there so you can kill you self with dignity.

post pic of girl because I know you took one or two for the daily creep thread

>>695080888
Bull shit

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Options:

Find nearest port-a-potty and drown self in toilet.
They can't arrest you if you're dead.

Run. Run as far as you can and never ever come back. But doing that would be risky.

Or wait it out, wouldn't try doing that though.

Your choice, OP.

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hopefully this helps next time you get those urges OP

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>>695081827

im going back to the beach. No way I can head back up to the streets without passing these cops

>>695082168
God damn is the Darwinism going to be sweet.

Don't panic. Go away. Denial.

>>695079626
Tuna fins?

>>695082168
go for sniff #2, lets rave bud

>select all images with commercial trucks
:^)

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>>695082168
Post story with picures OP

>>695081114
this

>>695080777
The trips speak

If I ever get myself into shit like this I'll be sure to live post it on 4chan

>>695080777
YAS

I'm on the corner of rio grande and ocean avenue. no shirt blue shorts anyone down in wildwood come pick me up ill pay you. Help

go get really liquored OP. they'll let the charges slide because you were highly intoxicated.

>>695082520

drunkeniggers here.
dindu nuffin.
will take you.
will beat the shit out of you.
be prepared.

>>695081652
BULLSHIT NIGGA.

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>>695081652
Act like your normally leaving but stay stealthy once you've gotten out of the crowd.

P.S I could provide fapping material if you want some.

OP is kill

>>695082168
You shouldn't have left witnesses.

Just build a giant sand castle and hide in it. The cops will never look there.

Dammit anon...

>>695080888
Everyone of these fucking pictures look the same. Also, nice trips -- they may be your last.

>>695082636
How do you figure?

>>695082520
>no shirt blue shorts and a massive child induced erection. Anyone down in wildwood come pick me up ill pay you.

>>695082699
dubs get
This

>>695082520
Are you the guy with sand on his nose? Think I just walked by you.

>>695082520
NYPA

>>695082699
thats why germans dig holes at the beach

kids fall into them

>>695082636
call an uber you dumbfuck

>>695082918
If he had bushy blond hair yeah that's me. Seriously anyone please pick me up I don't want to get fucked up like this

>>695077244
>implying OP isn't full of shit
This anyway.

Bruh when this is all said and done you best greentext this shit

>>695082520
Calling all cars.. suspect is on the corner of rio grande and ocean, blue shorts and no shirt, approach with caution.

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>>695082168

Bury yourself deep under the sand and don't move.

Also sorry buddy, can't help you. I'm really far away from you.

>>695083027
This use a free ride code

>>695082520
go to the subway across the street past the hotel...ill be there in 15 mins.
You owe me big time!

>>695077049

Is that a duck looking at you

>>695083027
I didn't even think of this wtf is wrong with me. Thanks

>>695083151
OP you fucking retard, in all honesty you deserve what you get. You best option is running nigga just run. Be sneaky though get to your car or just leave on foot in a crowd.

>>695082520
GO BUY NEW CLOTHES ASAP!!! CHEAPIST TOURIST SHIT YOU CAN FIND. UBER BITCH UBER

>>695083151
Just called in a tip to the popo. Might want to start jogging.

Obviously they're looking for someone off a description so if you don't match that description you'll be fine.
Shave hair, change shirt, take off shoes, turn pants inside out/roll them up to shorts, etc

>>695082520
Take off all your clothes! They're not looking for a naked man!

damn man you're in luck i guess, the police which i contacted were absolutely fucking useless

so good job, i guess you're getting away with this

HEY WAIT A MINUTE why the fuck am I rooting for a pedo? FUCK YOU DUDE you ruin kids lives like that and if you get off scot free you're almost certainly going to do it again. You're gonna be labeled a sex offender and deserve it.

swim thru the toilet in the portapotty. all pipes lead to the ocean

>>695083446
This. Buy some spray tan too, head to toe, you'll blend in fine, shits like camo in Jersey.

>>695083600
He can fit since hes a piece of shit

Just go jump in the water retard. Cops can't get you in international waters. Out of their jurisdiction. You can smell tuna all you want out there

op still looking for a ride? I live about an hour away. Can you hold out that long? $500 cash for a ride to anywhere in the state.

Uber is coming. Jesus Christ I can't think at all I'm so fucking scared.

>>695083446
PS..... FUCK YOU YOU SICK FUCK. IF YOU REALLY DONT GIVE A FUCK THEN DONT BE A BITCH< TURN YOUR SELF IN. BURT IS WAITING ON JAIL. HOPEFULLY NO ONE HAS A PHOTO OF YOU.

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>>695083600
Not if it's an "adequate " pipe

>>695083576
you are on fucking /b/

take your moralist bullshit elsewhere

>>695083833
you stupid nigger

>>695083833
You know youre a sick individual , right?

>>695080888
Timestamp or gtfo

>>695082520
>Let me just post what I'm wearing
>Cops are sure to be bamboozled
Fucking omg OP. Just walk in the opposite direction shirtless for a few hours and come back later with new clothes or something. Fuuuuck you're so dumb

>>695083833
Fuck you scumbag

>>695083750
I think he's gotta swim out at least 20 miles for that to work. Start swimming you fool!

>>695083833
OP, was the girl like bottomless or was she wearing like beach clothes? What did she smell like? Did you just drop to your knees in the sand and took a big sniff?

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>>695083833
You sick fuck

>>695083833
He lives to diddle another day.

Run back to the porta potty, punch two holes in the bottom and stick your legs through. Lift portapotty and walk away with it on. Bonus points if you sing "We all live in a Yellow Submarine".

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How could anyone fall for such shit bait

>>695080777
This !!!

>>695077049
If someone reports the thread properly. They can find you via your phone
Enjoy jail, OP.

Dude, you are such a big fat stupid cunt, I hope you die and rot in prison.

>>695083833
uber anon here, under no circumstances tell the uber driver who you are and remain calm. if you freak the fuck out he'll know somethings wrong.

>>695081652
Then your in cape may? only shore with concert

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>>695083576
shut up faggot

>>695083945
It's completely practical. You're making more retards that I will have to deal with in the future. It's not like I disapprove of laughing at retarded fucks in wheel chairs or joking about the latest shooting because that's not going to change anything. Fucking the world up even more by making twisted fucks who are out to make shit worse is worthy of only disdain. Take your pedo defending bullshit and shove it back up your ass faggot.

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>>695084193
or the benny hill theme while the cops chase a running port a shitter

>>695084210
I'd totally rather post in the
>TELL ME HOW YOUD CUCK MY GIRL
>PICS YOU SHOULDN'T SHARE HUE
Or any other of the shit threads on b lately. Fuck you at least this is interesting

>>695084210
psst we're all just playing along

the only reason i'm helping him is because it's these threads that make /b/ great

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>>695084394

hmmmm, then maybe this board is FOR you, stupid SJW peice of shit...go to another website, fag sympathizer

>>695084394
Take your moralist shit back to faggit

>>695082123
Kek

>>695084371
Where were you fucks when there was a cringe thread full of moralfags complaining about "muh feels and making fun of cripples is meeeaaaannn" fuck off losers

>>695084439
haahah

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>>695084461
kek

I guess your right

>>695083018
Why did that just make me laugh so hard?

My fucking sides are in orbit right now

>>695084394
fuck off moralfag

>>695084815
Why? That's not a joke.

>>695083576
>you ruin kids lives
still better than ruining /b/, and that's what you do you cancerous faggot

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>>695085103
what are you talking about? /b/ and 4chan in general are already shit

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>>695079626

>>695085083
Exactly.

>>695084439
Link for the kids who dont know what song....
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnHmskwqCCQ

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If this utterdhip gets screencapped, put me in.

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>>695084718
I was
>pic related

>>695085602
Sorry, had a stroke. Utter shit*

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>>695084718
that was b8

>>695077244
Win.

I wish you best luck OP, hope they don't remember you face

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Someone must've notified Uber and the police have already been called, probably by multiple /b/tards.

Also, great move describing your appearance, idiot OP. Not that you could read this with your hands cuffed behind your back.

Is OP kill?

>>695077244
Checked

>>695086418
Nah that'll happen when he's in prison and he's raped to death

>>695086291
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

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What if he was already caught and the police are having fun with B

>>695086953
such scenario would be laughable at

>>695086764
It really is the "oldfags" from 1-2 years back shouting "bait" at anything interesting who are the reason /b/ sucks.

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>>695084394
>not laughing at the latest shooting
What are ya a faggot?

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Op here home safe

>>695087102
no, it's you

>>695087238
/thread

>>695087238
lucky Sonuvabitch

>>695084394
Isn't the summertime great?

>>695086953

You forgot the part where he commited a hate crime for havin' white bread.

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>>695087238
So happy you made it alive good job anon

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>>695087238
great success!

>>695087238
I demand that you now fap to the smell until sleep

>>695087238
god speed you magnificent bastard.

inb4 cops read this thread and OP gets a fucked

>>695087238
How, OP? You said there was no way out

>>695083576
Kill yourself faggot

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>>695087238
>this thread

>>695087238
now sniff fingers and fap like crazy?

>>695087238
Now, for all our troubles, show us you CP collection!

>>695087238
they still make Tab Cola?!

>>695087238
Next time, don't just smell the tuna.

Fucking taste it, then tell me about it.

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>>695081074
KEK

>>695087238
>drinks tab

That alone is reason enough for you to get sodomized by rabid nogs.

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>>695087238
Home ? Safe ? Sure...

Pic very related

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>>695087238
Can anyone swipe the exif on this and make the call?

>>695088249
What movie is that?

>>695087670
he got an uber

>>695088460
Read the filename and you'll be deliver

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>>695077049
Legit kill yourself. I know we can't chose what sexually attracts us but you could of lived life without fucking with a kid. So an hero or something.

>>695088460
some shitty nick cage movie.

>>695088393
fucking newfaggot

>>695088393
why would we turn a fellow bro into the pigs? gtfo tumblrina.

>>695088597
he didn't fuck it

>>695088393
>>695088597
someone's left the window open again, the summer breeze is getting a bit chilly.

>>695088393
fuck off summerfag

This is a nice advert for uber.

>>695083576
pedos don't ruin children's lives
child molesters do
get your shit right fam

>>695088573
o I'm a fucking retard

>>695088641
The story arc of this thread isn't finished until OP posts picture of cop cars through his window.

>>695088748
I never said he did

>>695088816
Originality isn't a big theme here is it?

>>695088393
Then there's this faggot.

take your morals back to tumblr you faggots

>>695088393
Why do you have to be such a whiteknight cuck?

>>695082632
I believe the preferred nomenclature is 'roody-poo', my good sir.

>>695088249
Teh hacker 4chanz

why op no post

>>695086291
it cute how you think you have everything figured out, kid lol

>>695089067
Nah I want a pic of the tuna girl kicking his stones into orbit.

Tony Tuna-Sniffer Escapes the Long Arm of the Law

>>695090477
>I want a pic of the tuna girl
me 2

>>695079230
The Mathis isn't tall enough to die from. People try it every couple years and they always get scooped up by the national guard broken to shit, but living.

>>695088597
▲
▲▲

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>>695090295

>>695089200
a whiny cunt wasting dubs.. color me not fucking surprised. kys.

Well that was a fun ride

>>695088597
  ▲
▲ ▲

>>695090574
Yeah he's either kill or running across the Mathis like some Escape From New York scene gone terribly wrong

>>695077049
Where are you? I wanna see your ass get arrested

>>695090350
>cal someone else kid
>ends his sentence with lol

you should rethink some things yourself, friendo

>>695091852
He's in wildwood. Lurk moar newfriend.

>>695080888

you have to go into the bowl and hide in the crap infested part

Do I seriously need to explain this to you faggots?

/b/ has ruined lives just for shits and giggles. In evil, clever, hilarious ways. You think you are Joker from Batman. But that was active destruction.

This is passive and lazy. And just because OP is a "fellow /b/tard" or some shit? Or is it because he is a pedo and it is the wrong thing, and therefore the cool thing? Because it would piss the normies off?

Like it or not, but you are the moralfaggots.

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Wew can't wait to see this highlighted on reddit.
Good job OP you pedo.

PUT ME IN THE SCREEN CAP

>>695088627
>>695088641
>>695088816
>>695088881
>>695089331
>>695089364
Pedo nigger faggots.

>>695092565
fuck you m8

>>695093334
back to tumblr faggot