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HALT! Dies ist ein Deutscher Kontrollpunkt! By order of der

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 161
Thread images: 18

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HALT! Dies ist ein Deutscher Kontrollpunkt!

By order of der Führer, hand over your papers!

Roll:
1 - Armed Resistance Fighter. Re-roll, if 1-5: You die in the firefight, if 6-9: You safely manage to retreat. 0 = You kill the guards single handedly.
2 - Innocent German civilian, released.
3 - Criminal, arrested on sight.
4 - Juden, arrested on sight & sent to death camp. Re-roll, if 1-9: You die in the holocaust. 0 = Your camp gets liberated by allied forces.
5 - Gestapo, released.
6 - Loyal Nazi supporter, released.
7 - LOST PAPERS, temporarily detained. Re-roll to find true identity during your interrogation.
8 - German Soldier on leave, released.
9 - Homosexual, arrested on sight.
0 - Disabled individual, sent to a German insane asylum. Re-roll, if 1-5: You break out & can re-roll, if 6-9: You stay in the asylum. 0 = Deemed sane & legally released.

Special Gets:
Even x2 - Schutzstaffel, released.
Odd x2 - Undercover allied spy, inconsistent papers - detained and interrogated. Re-roll, if 1-5: Released, if 6-9: Sent to POW camp. 0 = Allied troops break you out.
00 - Hitler's dog, Blondi. Given a treat & released.
88 - Kommandant of Auschwitz, Rudolf Höss. Glory to Deutschland!
1488 - Der Führer's very own mustache in it's glorious entirety.
x3 - Hitler's right hand man, Heinrich Himmler. Glory to Deutschland!
x4 - Der Führer's Fräulein, Eva Braun. Glory to Deutschland!
x5 - Der Führer Adolf Hitler himself, leader of Nazi Germany. Glory to Deutschland!
>>
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>>694974213

I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden
>>
>>694974271

Die!
>>
>>694974292

RIP, re-roll.
>>
very lacking in the Iguana category 1/10
>>
>>694974213
Rollin for it
>>
>>694974381
Reroll
>>
>>694974213
roll
>>
>>694974450
oh shit i'm a schizophrenic
rolling to bust out
>>
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>>694974213

>tfw im either 6 or 8
>>
>>694974213
shalom
>>
>>694974213
o
>>
>>694974691
reroll
>>
>>694974664

or a fucking jew.

0 get
>>
>>694974664
ALARM! ALARM!
>>
>>694974740
REROLL COZ CRIPS
>>
>>694974623
OK, so the voices in my head pointed me to an open air vent, and guided me out. Now I'm a loose schizophrenic, and when the guards come, I fool them into thinking I am (roll)
>>
penis
>>
>>694974842
ESCAPE FTW
>>
>>694974919
FML
>>
Stalin! Uraaaaa
>>
>>694974886
So to keep my facade in place, I attempt to put swastikas all over the cardboard box that is my house. I end up drawing things that make me look like (roll)
>>
>>694975113

drawing loli
get arrested, criminal
>>
>>694974213
Oy vey! No Jew here!
>>
Rolling to winrar
>>
heil hitler
>>
>>694975113
>>694975223
I instead wake up outside a bank with a swastika on my forehead and like 12 bags of cash. I am arrested on sight. Rolling to see what happens in prison.
>>
Rollllllllingg
>>
>>694975447
shit where are my papers
>>
>>694974213
Rolling for glory
>>
>>694975680
Rolling for sanity
>>
>>694974213
Rollo.
>>
>>694975463
So I become a double criminal and shank like 3 people. I'm put in maximum security. This is expected, I am schizophrenic. What could possibly happen in maximum security? I'll tell you: not fucking much. Maybe my boy Jamal will show up and get me out. Jamal is the fucking best. He'll come through, I'm sure... (roll)
>>
>>694975857
oh..sir..here are my papers
>>
>>694974213
I want something interesting. Roll
>>
AUCHTUNG ROLL
>>
>>694975917
Lost papers, eh? Roll
>7 get
>>
Heil
>>
>>694975957
Reroll
>>
das roll
>>
Run!
>>
deine mudda isn deutscher kontrollpunkt
>>
>>694976174
gasduschen gabs nich
>>
>>694975896
>figure that pretending to be nazi helped me once, it'll happen again
>start yelling
"HEIL HITLER"
"SIEG HEIL"
"FUCK THE JEWS"

>it doesn't work and I am tased for disrespecting the fuhrer
(roll)
>>
Hello fine gentlemen of the Wehrmacht, how goes it?
>>
>>694974213
Reichrollin'
>>
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roll for hitler
>>
>>694976390
disabled roll
>>
>>694976390
>>694976459
shit
>>
>>694976256
>continue
"HEIL"
"HEIL"
"HEIL"
"HEIL"
"HEIL"
>the guards enter and shut me up with their fists
>wake up later with like 7 bruises
(roll)
>>
>>694974213
I wonder if I get 666 again, last thread I was in had even two of them.
Captcha was 566, dunno if that's promising.
>>
Aldo the apache
>>
>>694974213
Roll in
>>
Watch me jew this up
>>
>>694976580
Roll for insanity
>>
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>>694974213
Its a good day to kill the Jews, right brothers?
>>
>>694976665

man... if only you could've been eva braun.
>>
>>694976675
I guess I broke out
>>
re-rolling for the reich
>>
>>694976655
Re roll in
>>
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kommen bei mir, bro
>>
>>694976801
Weisse Rose...
>>
ROLLZING
>>
>>694976878
Fml
>>
>>694976933
o shit they found me
>>
Bawnjewrnow.
>>
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roll
>>
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Hey I'm cool, nothing to see here. Go Hitler & stuff..
>>
God Damnit
>>
rawling
>>
rololo0
>>
>>694976538
>sitting in jail cell, plotting revenge against the guards that put me here

>meanwhile the prison warden is looking at some papers in his hand
>"we fucked up"
>the papers state that I am a german soldier

>get quietly escorted out of the prison
>not speaking about how i never was in german military
>while I pass Jamal's cell he looks at me and winks
>Jamal you're the fucking best
(roll)
>>
>>694974213

ein reich ein volk ein fuhrer
>>
>>694977194
Damn reroll
>>
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Out of my way, grunt.
>>
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Rolling to not die a jew
>>
>>694977194
>4 - Juden, arrested on sight & sent to death camp. Re-roll, if 1-9: You die in the holocaust. 0 = Your camp gets liberated by allied forces.
>>694977351

Spooky accurate
>>
>>694977431
Re roll
>>
>>694974213
Schutzstaffel hier
>>
>>694977397
Here are those papers. Had them at home on the shelf.
>>
>>694974213
IT WAS MERELY AN ACT
>>
Sieg Heil!
>>
>>694974213
My papers are clearly in order gentlemen.
>>
>>694977371
reroll
>>
i do a roll
>>
>>694977270
>immediately put back in asylum
>german military ain't taking back a schizo, even if I was never in the military
>at least this time I'm treated with respect
(roll)
>>
>>694977627
yeah, no
>>
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I will ascend
>>
>>694977627
I do apologize officers. I am quite forgetful. This whole 'interrogation' business is a big misunderstanding.
>>
>>694974213
Here's my papers
>>
>>694977804
The ashes fall like snow. How lovely, our own little winter in our our own little world.
>>
>>694977652
>bust out
>they never closed the vent
>while i am going about my life some german soldiers ask me who I am
(roll)
>>
>>694977874
Oh fuck
>>
>>694977926
HEIL HITLER
>>
>>694974213
Roll
>>
>>694977948
RIP in gas chamber jewfag.
>>
>>694978047
Re
>>
ROLLS
>>
>>694974213
>>694974213
Death to the Regime!
>>
>>694974213
Here are my documents officer, properly stamped and all.
>>
>>694974213
Seug heil!
>>
I hope I get to go to camp!
>>
Nozink to ze here
>>
>>694978150
I can't stay in this hell!
>>
>>694974213
roll
>>
>>694974213
Das Roll
>>
>>694978204
reroll
>>
>>694978181
For the allies!
>>
Heil mein Fuehrer!
>>
Rollin down the street in my 6x4
>>
>>694977984
>I give them a fake name
>don't use a jewish name, don't use a jewish name
"Abel."
>shit
>sent to jewish death camp
(roll)
>>
>>694978199
Too bad. Late on the dubs.
>>
rollins
>>
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Imma get these Jews outta here
>>
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>>694974213

KEEP ROLLING, ROLLING, ROLLING!
>>
>>694978377
Jockin the bitches, slappin the hoes (reroll)
>>
>>694978377
Inconsistent papers, SPY
>>
cyka pbat
>>
>>694974213
roll
>>
mem
>>
>>694978422
fug ye, time to commit some war crimes!
>>
>>694978570
reroll
>>
i sware im a nazi ocifer
>>
Everything seems to be in order
>>
>>694978394
>take a shower
>take a deep breath
>start hacking and coughing
>die from gas
>sent to afterlife with God
>even in death the world thinks I'm jewish
>>
Heil Mein Fuhrer
>>
Roll number 1
>>
aaah
>>
>>694974213
>>
>>694978657
I sware ocifer i m nazi
>>
plz release me
>>
>>694978870
Roll number two
>>
Rollin papers
>>
Dr. Meme lives.
>>
reroll
>>
>>694978930
Ok reroll
>>
Muh papers.
>>
>>694978861
Vive le France
>>
>>694979047
I dont want to stay in da asylum
>>
>>694974213
rolllllllllli
>>
>>694978808
anon, that was a really good story.

followed the entire thing
>>
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>>694977900
Heil pupper. Also roll
>>
>>694979324
re-roll
>>
>>694979330
roll to fix this BS
>>
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>>694974213
Hallo, mein Freund! Mein Name ist Hans Gruber und ich liebe nur der Führer!
>>
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>>694974213
Kommen, lassen Sie uns auf die Deutschland trinken.
>>
HEIL!
>>
>>694979814
Re-roll
>>
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I can gas jews?
>>
>>694974213
Rell
>>
>>694979997
Rerooooool
>>
>>694980137
Re
>>
Ya, here are my papers.
>>
Das Rollen
>>
rerolling
>>
>>694980455
Re-roll
>>
>>694980521
ReRolllloReR
>>
re-roll
>>
>>694980630
Ayy
>>
Lost papers, rerolling
>>
>>694977772
Rip
Thread posts: 161
Thread images: 18


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]

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