HALT! Dies ist ein Deutscher Kontrollpunkt!
By order of der Führer, hand over your papers!
1 - Armed Resistance Fighter. Re-roll, if 1-5: You die in the firefight, if 6-9: You safely manage to retreat. 0 = You kill the guards single handedly.
2 - Innocent German civilian, released.
3 - Criminal, arrested on sight.
4 - Juden, arrested on sight & sent to death camp. Re-roll, if 1-9: You die in the holocaust. 0 = Your camp gets liberated by allied forces.
5 - Gestapo, released.
6 - Loyal Nazi supporter, released.
7 - LOST PAPERS, temporarily detained. Re-roll to find true identity during your interrogation.
8 - German Soldier on leave, released.
9 - Homosexual, arrested on sight.
0 - Disabled individual, sent to a German insane asylum. Re-roll, if 1-5: You break out & can re-roll, if 6-9: You stay in the asylum. 0 = Deemed sane & legally released.
Even x2 - Schutzstaffel, released.
Odd x2 - Undercover allied spy, inconsistent papers - detained and interrogated. Re-roll, if 1-5: Released, if 6-9: Sent to POW camp. 0 = Allied troops break you out.
00 - Hitler's dog, Blondi. Given a treat & released.
88 - Kommandant of Auschwitz, Rudolf Höss. Glory to Deutschland!
1488 - Der Führer's very own mustache in it's glorious entirety.
x3 - Hitler's right hand man, Heinrich Himmler. Glory to Deutschland!
x4 - Der Führer's Fräulein, Eva Braun. Glory to Deutschland!
x5 - Der Führer Adolf Hitler himself, leader of Nazi Germany. Glory to Deutschland!
I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden I'm not a juden
So I become a double criminal and shank like 3 people. I'm put in maximum security. This is expected, I am schizophrenic. What could possibly happen in maximum security? I'll tell you: not fucking much. Maybe my boy Jamal will show up and get me out. Jamal is the fucking best. He'll come through, I'm sure... (roll)
>figure that pretending to be nazi helped me once, it'll happen again
"FUCK THE JEWS"
>it doesn't work and I am tased for disrespecting the fuhrer
Its a good day to kill the Jews, right brothers?
Hey I'm cool, nothing to see here. Go Hitler & stuff..
>sitting in jail cell, plotting revenge against the guards that put me here
>meanwhile the prison warden is looking at some papers in his hand
>"we fucked up"
>the papers state that I am a german soldier
>get quietly escorted out of the prison
>not speaking about how i never was in german military
>while I pass Jamal's cell he looks at me and winks
>Jamal you're the fucking best
KEEP ROLLING, ROLLING, ROLLING!
i sware im a nazi ocifer
Hallo, mein Freund! Mein Name ist Hans Gruber und ich liebe nur der Führer!
Kommen, lassen Sie uns auf die Deutschland trinken.