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A-Ask a psychologist anything!Im here for you Anon.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 166
Thread images: 15

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A-Ask a psychologist anything!Im here for you Anon.
>>
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How long should I marinate brains in my urine to soften them up?
>>
>Thread
>>
>psychologist

get a real profession
>>
>>692951357
yeah I always wanted to say that
/thread I guess
>>
>>692951357
Yeah. Start a YouTube blog
>>
Hi, welcome back Alice.
>>
how do i suicides?
>>
>>692950754
On a scale from 1 - 100, how much would you describe yourself as a professional snowflake tender.
>>
pls no bully alice
>>
>>692950754
Why would somebody pretend to be a psychologist on the famously grotesque message board 4chan? Need for attention? Need to lie or cheat others? Need for acceptance otherwise denied?
>>
Kill yourself, Chris.
>>
>>692950754
Are you a basement dwelling weaboo faggot, Ms Margaturd?
>>
>>692950932
I'm not entirely sure you should be doing that?
>>
I'm horrible depressed, I drink constantly, my girlfriend annoys me, my job is soul crushing.

So should I have coffee with two sugars or one this morning?
>>
>>692950754
I have too many problems to describe, how do I kill myself fast and painless?
>>
Everytime i walk outside i always think about how something could be applied to a video game or CGi, occasionally i look at tree shadows and think about how cool it looks and think about how i could replicate that in a game. How can i get rid of this and live normally?
>>
if there are 2 kids both brothers if one kid gets more attention, will the other kid get inferiority complex??
>>
I lost my job for being late 4 times in 2 months. I do care but I just can't seem to be on time. I am depressed now because I lost my job. How can I start being on time? How do I shake this horrible feeling of being a loser?
>>
My cuckold fantasies are out of controll. I'm even thinking my gf with teen guys or her father. Any help?
>>
>>692953088
At least you don't think about her being fucked by niggers
>>
>>692950754
Diagonsed with personality disorder other. No medication, but next 3 months will be spend in an institution. what am I to expect and how long does it take to get well?
>>
>>692953369

Lots of rape and never, you're stuck with the personality disorder for life
>>
i hate niggers. Am i in the wrong for that? i'm not even joking. Every time i see a nigger i can't do anything but despise him/her. I'm not being openly aggressive to them or anything. But i just don't like being in a bad mood simply because a nigger showed up at my workplace.
>>
>>692953359

But what if her father is a nigger?
>>
>>692951357
>>692951472
>Denies science
>Wants to be respected
okay
>>
>>692953550
Will I ever be able to go to work, and if not, then how do I cheat on yearly work health commision to seem to be normal.
>>
>>692953565

Perfectly normal, niggers dark skin coloring decreases mood, why do you think ghettos are so depressing?
>>
>>692950754
What is better?
Happiness, or satisfaction?
>>
>>692953709

You'll be able to work, but it will be hard to keep a job, depending on the severity of your symptoms
>>
are you here for me, i mean do you mean it or is this a bait?
>>
>>692953359
Not in dat niggershit

>>692953606
He's not
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>>692953908
Am not very agresive. Most of it is auto agresion. The problem is that every few years, I do something bonkers like last this may. I went to 3 countries, beat up 3 different women, with the goal of ending up in jail. But in the end I went back home, that is why I have to go to the institution. I wish that and the voices would stop, everything else is something I can deal with.
>>
>>692953369
Start doing cocaine, it should get you back on track. Or it messes you up even more. It depends on the person.
>>
alice is dead
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>>692954281
Of course this isn't Alice.
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>>692954246
Rape a woman and blame it on Charlie
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>>692953759
I'd say happiness
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>>692954041
It depends, OP isn't here for you. He's trying to impersonate Alice. But hey, I'm here for you.
>>
>>692950754
is everything basically based on sex?
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>>692954454
No.
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>>692954356
Impotent. Plus am scared of women. Rape is not an option.
>>
>>692954246

Medication and therapy, then you'll be a normal functioning member of society
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>>692954441

Who says it's just the OP
>>
>>692952977
No one going to help me?
>>
>>692954573
But seriously, you should get medication. This sounds like a very serious case. Also, try to start working on projects, as an example a wooden box. The work is very therapeutic and when finished rewarding.

>>692954776
I'll help you Anon, I'll go right on it.
>>
>>692952977

Work on your time management

Set alarms, get up early, leave early, give yourself enough time to get there with at least 15 minutes before the shift starts

> how do I shake this horrible feeling of being a loser?

Stop being late and getting fired from your jobs
>>
>>692952977
Try and seek company with friends and family, just go out of it for a while. If you're not very social go on a small road trip. And for being on time, try a more regulated sleep routine.
>>
who is alice?wasnt here for a while did i miss something?
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>>692953693
nice reading skills
>>
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I'm starting to get better from my mid difficult depression and I'm afraid I'm gonna end up being the same asshole I were before I got depressed. How high are the changes that I will end up as that again? I mean well... I feel like I learned my lesson and all that but I'm still afraid of it.
>>
How do I get laid if I'm ugly?
>>
how does it feel knowing your 'profession' is literal bollocks
anyone can outfox you with a good poker face and strong motives because we can't read minds and never will
>>
>>692950754
This faggot OP copy and pasted my last thread.
Fat faggot.
>>
>>692955209
Moneys
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>>692955131
Very small, your personality changes over time. You'll be fine.
>>
>>692955215

Feels great, get paid stupid amounts of money to listen to people talk about their problems and only respond with more questions
>>
>>692955209
Every jar has a lid.
>>
>>692955370
Psychologist' paycheck isn't that high.
>>
>>692955209

Find your local hookers, get laid, beat them to death with a baseball bat afterwards, rinse, repeat
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What do you think of sociopaths?
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That have been barely 12 hours, Avatarfag!
How do you expect me to come up with a new preferred method of you killing yourself in this small amount of time.
Especially on par with my hatred for your kind. However, despite not being so creative:

Please hang yourself with electrical wire. Its very sturdy and easy to aquire.

Thanks in Advance!
>>
>>692955497
If your image is related, thy's most likely more of a psychopath.
>>
>>692955370
care to specify said stupid amount?
>>
>>692955640
If lucky, 30000$ a year?
>>
>>692955463

If you think a psychologist just sits there and talks to people all day you are sorely mistaken, many psychologists work in multiple facets, they can be clinicians and teach a few classes, easily making 6 figures, that's not even getting into specialties of psychology
>>
I have been dealing with cancer for two years now and i'm getting more miserable by the day.

All I do now is just wait to die. The things I used to enjoy are stupid and pointless. My friends don't talk to me anymore and my family only comes by to throw a pity party for themselves.

The only thing keeping me going is the small shred of hope that I will get through this and be happy again.

What can I do to hold onto that shred of hope?
or should I just take the bullet honestly I could go either way.
>>
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Where is alice?
Forgot to download the pics faggot?
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>>692955640

A decent forensic psychologist who can act as a expert witness can make upwards of $2000 in a single day in court, all for giving 30 minutes of testimony
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>>692955719
No, I don't? I'm just specifying that the paycheck of a standalone psychologist which has his own clientele isn't amazingly high.
>>
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>>692955805
OP is a faggot so ill help you.


Through the darkest of the times i will be here.
I will stay with you for as long as possible.
Everything will be ok, Anon
>>
>>692956097
Not to be a freak but thanks Anon, that actually means a lot right now.
>>
>>692956006

Again, depends on speciality as well i/o psychologist can start at over six figures, and that's just for telling companies how to make themselves more efficient

Neuropsychologists can start just under six figures
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>>692956231
It's my honor :)!
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>>692955805

Take the bullet
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>>692956370
I hope YOU take the bullet you fat fag!
>>
>>692955805
Rethink anything that happened in the past 4 years. You made it through that, right? You'll make it through this just as well. ;)

>>692956279
Indeed.
>>
>>692956505

That doesn't seem like a very alice like response anon
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>>692956657
Alice is asleep, sst.
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>>692956871

No stuttering either, try harder jeez
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>>692956981
I'm not Alice.. Not claiming to be either.
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>>692957165
>>
>>692957358
I'm not OP either.
>>
check trips
>>
>>692950754
How can I deal with insecurities?
>>
>>692957707

By not caring about what others think
>>
>>692950754
Im 26 years old. Profesional. Very nice job.
Feel like many other companies want to hire me. Feel superior. What can I DO to not be an asshole and see everybody as a pice of .... ?
>>
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>>692957829
STILL A FAGGOT
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>>692957988
You burn the 60% of the money.
Cant give to charity otherwise niggers will get support.
>>
>>692957988
Take value in what other people think and feel, be empathetic
>>
>>692958032

But if you don't care what others think are you still insecure about being a faggot?

Check and mate
>>
I'm a drug addict, currently clean, moved back to my parents. My mother is scared if she gives me money I'll spend it on drugs, so she introduced a system very similar to "good boy points". So here I am... a 27 y/o loser who lives with his parents, receiving good boy points, I should just end it...
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>>692958489

Probably
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>>692953369
Institutions aren't that bad anon. I spent some time in one for the same reason. No touching lol. Just accept the treatment is all I can say. It does help.
>>
Said goodbye to the girl i loved because we got into different schools and now everything seems pointless. It's hard to explain i just don't get happy or sad by anything. Everything is just blank. Got accepted into a good school feel nothing making good results at the gym still feel nothing.. Is this all life is? just pointless stalling until the day i die? Why try if this is all there is.
>>
>>692958761

Pretty much, just stalling off the inevitable
>>
>>692958489
Talk to your parents about how and why you became clean. Explain to them that it isn't a good idea to punish you for your past deeds, it only makes you more vulnerable to drug abuse once again.
>>
>>692958761
After you're done with school you might want to seek contact once again, or go the alternative road and forget her existence and find another love. It might sound really harsh, but love can really spice up someone's life.
>>
Can you get traumas/ mental harm from internet gore?
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>>692950754
why does my balls hurt
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>>692959925

Yes
>>
>>692960016

Go talk to a medfag
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>>692959925
Yes, it can unknowingly mess with your mental health.
>>
>>692950754
What steps should I take to treat adhd abs binge eacting while minimalizing personality changes?
>>
>>692950754
>be me 18
>fairly attractive, fashionable
>want to talk to girls
>socially awkward/retarded
>tfw I will never be fuckboi womanizer Chad

What do???
>>
>>692950754
I honestly believe that I am nanic depressive. I would like to try taking meds for this. Obviously asking for drugs with no prior professional help is pretty sketchy. But enrolling myself in any kind of psychiatric program could take years to get the medication I would like to try and there is no guarantee that I will be correctly diagnosed leaving me to always wonder if I was right or the doctor is right. How do I go about asking my doctor for medication wothout seeming sketchy? Do I just need to choose the "obviously there is something wrong with me" answers on their stupid tests?
>>
>>692961032
I binge ate a long while, and I still do sometimes, although a lot healthier. It sounds very hard, but you have a little switch in your head. Turn that switch, just stop with it.
>>
>>692961032

Get medicated for adhd and see a psychologist for the binge eating
>>
I am depressed most of the time and Im obsessed with a girl I don't even know in real life.

Do I need help?
>>
>>692961174

Be confident, girls don't like insecure fsggots,, they are insecure enough already and don't want to baby someone else
>>
>>692961174
Follow Nike's slogan.
>>
What kind I do about people holding a grudging against me even. People are contently just tell me to leave and that i start drama when I completely don't give a fuck. What can I do?
>>
>>692961325
Talk to your doctor about your concerns, only way thy can correct a misdiagnosis. Don't take any tests, answers given on those are usually flawed.
>>
>>692950754
I took a schizofrenia test online and got basicly 21 out of 11 should i worry/worth checking up?
>>
>>692961561
Nothing, some people are just assholes.
>>
>>692961325

Get diagnosed, no doctor is going to prescribe you with medication for this disorder without a diagnosis because lithium has a low therapeutic index, meaning the wrong dose could easily kill you
>>
>>692961410

Yes
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>>692961797

Probs
>>
>>692961797
If you have concerns it wouldn't hurt to contact a medical professional.
>>
When I was 12 years old I watched straight porn, jerked off to it and enjoyed it looking at it. As I got older (now 19) my tastes started to change to more emphasizes on men in suits and has lead down to gay pornography. Like ever since that i've been only watching gay porn to masterbate to. I've never kissed a girl and I never kissed a guy. Like when I watch gay porn its usually older men with a younger guy could it be some sort of father figure issue?
>>
>>692950754

How trustworthy is this test?

www 4degreez com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
>>
>>692961497
How do I avoid getting led on?
>>
>>692953088

No help for me?
>>
>>692962218

Be straight forward in what you want in a relationship and ask them to do the same
>>
>>692962181
No, you're just a queer
>>
>>692962204

Probably not at all trustworthy
>>
>>692951357
gets paid 20x more than you to gossip about niggas

seems pretty real to me
>>
>>692950754

What's the best way to beat panic disorder?
>>
>>692950754
Few easy steps to get over a breakup, my ex and the horrible feelings I'm going trough!?
>>
>>692962271

You had the same question in the last thread

Replace your cuck fantasies with rape fantasies, problem solved
>>
>>692950754
I want to die. Do I have the right to do so?
>>
>>692962546

Face your fears in a controlled manner

> look up systematic desensitization
>>
>>692962181
That depends, it can be correlated to the relationship with your father. On the other hand, it might be a questionable form of paedophilia. Or you might just be gay, it is pretty normal for your sexuality to become clear only after puberty.
>>
>>692962710

Yes
>>
>>692962546
Not a psychologist but I've done this. Face it - EVERY time.
>>
>>692962589

Go hook up with a few other girls, problem solved
>>
>>692962789

Thanks OP

>>692962891

And you man
>>
>>692962860
Is it true nobody wants to die, even though they want to do it?
>>
>>692950754
Do providers ever fall for their patients?
>>
>>692950754
I haven't looked through the responses, so sorry if this is already hit, but everything I read is about improving your social circle, get more friends and crap. But I have no desire to do that.why? Currently, I rather be alone.
>>
>>692963031

Yes, happened to someone in my cohort, we talked about it in supervision, he got a new client
>>
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I got home a couple of days from a weeks festival, where i used in total 7 grams of MDMA, on myself, for 5 days in a row.

I feel like ive disconnected from myself, i dont care for anything anymore, i just want to lay down and cry, ive never been the sad type, but suddenly i dont feel like i see a meaning with living anymore. Im only 18 and i have a lot of shit to look forward to, but something changed my mentality to "Just give up, nothing is worth it"

Will this ever go away
>>
>>692963014

Some do, some use it as a cry for help
>>
>>692963319
Not OP. But the answer to your question is yes.
>>
>>692963319
Yes, don't do drugs dumb ass
>>
>>692963319
That depends. There's an unlikely chance that the MDMA has messed around with your brain chemistry.
>>
>>692963014
Completely, it is done as a cry for attention. Same goes for self harm.
>>
>>692950754
Why were you not smart enough to be a Psychiatrist?
>>
>>692963319
That's just your body recovering from all that MDMA, everything is normal
>>
>>692950754
Hello, any help with getting a gf? There have already been a few girls in my university who were mildly interested but me, being the autist that I am, kept acting like a friendzoned guy to them because it's all I've ever known through highschool. Any tips would be appreciated, thank you!
>>
>>692963735

Yes, chemistry is a bitch
>>
>>692950754
How do I hold a sustainable conversation via messenger without sounding awkward? I'd much prefer to talk to people face to face but distance sometimes prevents that.
>>
>>692950754
In your opinion, does free will exist?
>>
>>692963427
>>692963558
>>692963571
>>692963762

Thank you, that was actually comforting
>>
>>692963766

Discuss your interest in them with them. Take em on a date, don't be a faggot
>>
Haven't fucked a random chick from a club in 2 years now, because I felt it's not worth the hassle anymore, I rather get drunk. I am only 28, do you think my libido is already declining or am I just a lazy fuck?
>>
>>692963875
I hope all turns out well.
>>
>>692963319
You'll be fine. Just take a break from MD so you can land back on your feet
>>
>>692963831

Find something interesting to talk about that you both enjoy
>>
>>692950754
Does self esteem exist?
>>
>>692963849

Yes,
But a cognitive psychologist would say no
>>
>>692964160
easier said than done but I suppose i'll try, thanks.
>>
>>692963849
No. Although the human perception of free will does.
>>
>>692964078

Lazy, club pussy is easy, relationship pussy only gets harder as time goes on
>>
>>692964185

Yes
>>
>>692964370

Here's your cognitive psychologist
Thread posts: 166
Thread images: 15





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