What's the most fucked up thing you've ever done, /b/?

I fucked a duck. Literally

>>692556327
I threw a cat out the window of a truck going 80mph because it kept meowing in my apartment.

Killed my girlfriend in about 2 months by trying to have children. Fertility meds produced reproductive cancer, metastasized.

>>692556470
Story

9/11

>>692556470
Blimey

acted inappropriate with my younger sister

Briefly Choked a homeless man who wouldn't stop asking for change

>>692556624
Alright, so I lived on a farm as a child and all was fun and stuff. not really living on a farm sucks. We had ducks though. One time, a duck was hurt so we had to bring it inside. Bloody wing I think. I just did what seemed naturally when my mom left me alone to go get groceries

I collected the cum of a horse from a nearby stable and drank it.

>>692557008
How was it?

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>be 18
>Britfag
>working in uncle's pub
>really small village
>cycling home at like 2am
>see dude laying in the road
>wtf
>get closer, see he's kind of whimpering
>his legs and hips seem mangled even in the dark
>even closer, see his face and clothes are covered in blood
>he sees me looking at him
>eye contact
>he kinda says "help me"
>NOPE
>freak out, socially awkward anyway
>cycle off as fast as I can
>next day news report on body found in road from hit and run
>father of 2, his fiance pregnant with #3
>guy died because i was too pussy to help
>nobody will ever know

>>692557153
Warm, thick, and salty. Leaves a bad taste like cum smell.

>>692557239
And I thought fucking a duck was messed up

Let my bf play with the lil girl I babysat.

I have a scat fetish, i'm not proud of it and i'm afraid someone will discover about it. From time (monthly or so) to time I get REALLY horny for it and when i'm alone at my house i get inside the shower, shit on my hand and masturbate while doing stuff with my shit, like smear it on me, on my feet and fuck it with my dick. One time i even actually put it in my mouth (i never came so hard and felt such pleasure i'm my life).

Of course afterwards i get really disgusted about it, i feel very ashamed, i clean myself and the shower stall and feel bad about it during the rest of the day.

The real sad part is i'm only 18 and i'm actually beautiful and have no problem about scoring girls, and i also have friends and a social life, i don't know how i became so fucked up.

Killed a man once

>>692557239
You piece of shit

>>692557239
thats really fucked up

I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

>>692557504
Your on 4chan and you ask how your so fucked up, really

>>692557424
Not like it isnt lmfao

>>692557504
Haha I can relate. It is perfectly normal. You should feel good about it.

Every time i hear that whistle blowin', i hang my head and cry

>>692556787
How so

>>692557239
I advice an immediate hero

>>692558007
PAEDOPHILE ALERT!!!!!!

>>692557504
Big fucking deal, get a girl who loves shit and there you have it - lifes good? Have fun fam happy life

When I was in the fourth grade my cousin convinced me of having sex with her. I did not even know what sex was at the time, this was a year before they taught us about sex ed and such in the school I attended. She was in the fifth grade (when they taught it so that is why she might have done it). The following year I learned what had happened and did not think much of it since I was so young. Now I am 18 she is 20 and it sort of haunts me that she did that.

>>692557870
It is, but leaving a man to die is more fucked up than duck fucking

when my parents were out, i used to get naked in front of my sis

>>692558097
Um where do you see ages

>>692558007
sorry forgot to hit reply

answer here
>>692558193

>>692557239
>brexit leave level: MASTER

>>692556487
Legend...
(Wait for it)
...dary!

>>692557504
Didn't it taste bad? I understand that it gives you pleasure, but still, it seems like you'd gag after putting your own shit in your mouth.

>go to friend's bday party while I'm home from uni
>drink 10-14 shots
>wanna have sex with bday girl
>bday girl and her friends while drunk decide to watch Frozen instead
>fuck this I'm out
>was supposed to drive to uni next day
>drive to uni that night after popping 30mg XR addy while still shitfaced
>uni is 3 hours away from home
>pull over 8 times to take a piss on the side of the road on my way up

I shouldn't have made it to uni safe. I'm a PoS.

>>692558105
>get a girl who loves shit
Easy huh?

When I am with my friends I always sayI finish every Final Fantasy game.

FFVII I played only until start of disc 3

the only one I finished was FFIV

The only times I feel any emotions at all is when I drink nearly lethal amounts of alcohol.

>>692558193
Natural kid stuff.

well, I have a good one for you.
I am a married mother of two, and I work as a advocate worker for women at risk, such as homeless drug addicts and escorts, and street level sex workers.
Its common for these women to get savior complex with me, and some of them will admit they have crushes on me, and every now and then I will have sexual affairs with one of the more attractive looking women and share them sexually with my husband
I have only had this backfire when I was no longer intrested and she tried to blackmail me, so of course no one believed the whore and decided she was just trying to get attention.

>>692558483
>playing ff7 95% of the way through and stopping wut

>>692558405
Actually, if you put it and don't chew it and move around and stuff you can't taste it so much, and i was almost cumming so i wasn't going to stop for anything on the world.

>>692558483
Are you Irish?

>>692558502
got to see her naked too but still feel bad about it tho

>>692558105
How to get diseases 101 featuring this fucking anon

>>692558532
Now this is podracing.

>>692558720
Scottish

>>692558165
Idfk but yeh given the choice between letting a father of 3 bleed to death and fucking a paralyzed duck I might whip out my dick to be a lad

>>692558680

It was so long ago and I didn't know if was more to it, I just remember that you're walking on snow or something and I give up.

>>692558720

no I'm not

>>692558097

Thanks, I almost missed it

>>692558532
That's hot AF.

>>692559024
>great glacier
nigga that's like the first part of disc 2

>>692558970
is strangulation a sexual fetish for you now? were you killing the cats to hurt your mother or them?

My mom was a drunk and would constantly rehouse all these stray cats (there was 16 at our home at one point) and I used to get all my anger out on them. Strangled at least 5 or 6 cats when I was growing up. They would claw and put up a real fight but they run out of breath pretty quickly. Bashed in the brains of one as well. I probably stopped when I was around 14.

>>692556327
>I am a married mother
Tits or gtfo

I got all of my friends (excluding myself) addicted to hardcore drugs because I wanted to see how they would react.
If you're curious, they all fought with each other and separated.
They were all really dumb and had little going for them in the future anyways.

I had sex with my cousin and niece.
>inb4 pedo

My niece is like a month younger than I am and I'm 22.
I'm a pretty normal guy otherwise.

Fucked my ex on a golf course

>>692559199

LOL

I used to buy frogs by stealing a little bit of my mom's money at a time. I used to take them out and bind their legs together with string and press both of my fingers on their ends and slowly go up, making them writhe and their organs shoot out of their mouths but tbh this is pretty normal.

After my fiance' and her attractive cousin got back from yoga, they both changed to go to the beach and i was left alone in the house. When I realized that her cousin left her used, sweaty panties within my reach, I took them and masturbated to the smell of her.

>>692559118

There you go, I gave up after the start of disc 2.

it was so long ago, I can't believe I never finished it.

I had started FFVIII and FFIX and I can't go too far they feel so boring and outdated now

>>692557239
Pasta

>>692559338
Fuck your life if thats the worst youve done jesus christ

I burned a house down.

I kept my cat locked up in a small bathroom on purpose for a whole moth and then strangled it to death.

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>>692559429
>but tbh this is pretty normal

In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog when my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out but the worst thing I ever done I mixed up all this fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, I made a noise like this hua hua hua huaaaaaaa and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other and I never felt so bad in my entire life.

i cum in my house mates lube nearly ever day when she go's to work.
Her boyfriend is a messy loud mouth douche. I think it's kinda funny that he's fucking her with my cum.

I walked into the men's room at Costco and found an obviously confused and disoriented man trying, unsuccessfully, to get his pants down right in the middle of the restroom rather than in the stall. He was fumbling with them and not making any headway in his efforts. There were a few other men in there as well and you could tell they were wrestling with the idea of helping but uncomfortable with the idea and not really sure of what to do. I announced that I am a nurse and would take care of it from there. I assisted the man into a stall, got his pants down for him and got him on the pot. When I left the stall, I left the bathroom as well, knowing there was no way this guy had gotten there unaccompanied. I found an old lady waiting outside, obviously distressed. I asked if her husband was the confused gentleman and, of course, she replied yes. I told her what I was doing, that all was in control and well and asked his name. I then went back in.

He took a while to finish and I know everyone who entered to find me waiting in there, doing nothing but just standing there must have thought I was a nut job... But when he was done, I went back into the stall to find that he had made quite the mess of things. I had suspected as much given the smell that was emanating into the surrounding vicinity. I got a few wet paper towels and cleaned him up, got his pants back up and fastened and finished up at the sink, washing his hands with him. Then I took him back out to his waiting wife.

I made my purchase and left, telling my wife and kids waiting in the car that I'd had great trouble finding what I was looking for and the lines had been unbearably long. I got a few nasty looks (and a comment or two...) but it was worth it as I also stripped the nice gold watch from his wrist and $80 from his wallet. I later sold the watch for $400.

A man walk pass me and I though he looked ugly so I whispered "Fucking uglyass motherfucker" to myself. I've changed since then but I might become what I used to if I start looking at porn again.

>>692556327
Probably stole tons of weed and Alcohol from my roommates at university

>>692558938
He most likely thought it was just a homeless dude and didn't care.

It's fucked up but that's how people are.

>>692559718
What's this from?

>>692559997
The Goonies.

>>692558483

You fucking monster

>>692559712
There is plenty of moths outside.

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>>692559818
shit nigger calm down

I have a tickle fetish and tickle torture is what turns me on the most. That's about all I can think of.

Just reposting a deleted post for great justice.

Anonymous 07/02/16(Sat)04:25:36 No.692558970 This post has been deleted▶
>>692558532
My mom was a drunk and would constantly rehouse all these stray cats (there was 16 at our home at one point) and I used to get all my anger out on them. Strangled at least 5 or 6 cats when I was growing up. They would claw and put up a real fight but they run out of breath pretty quickly. Bashed in the brains of one as well. I probably stopped when I was around 14.

>>692557504
Same here, i am a 8-8.5/10, i have a gf, friends and social life, but i like furry. Idk, it jus arouses me more than any other thing, and im not proud of it.

>Have dalmatian female doggo
>Every morning I find this stupid fucking looking small doggo in my yard fucking MY dog
>Literally kick him out every fucking day
>One day come home at night
>See little shit climbing my fence
>10 times bigger than him
>fuckinginsanity.png
>wait for him to drop inside my house
>You gonna learn today
> grab dog from frontal legs
>Cousin kicks him in the balls with the force of a thousands hells
>We take turns castrating the dog repeatedly
>Basically and almost literally crucify him over trash can
>Give him crown of thorns (reallly)
>get airsoft guns
>empty 4 clips of fury upon his unsuspecting almost unrecognizable
Testicles
>Let him go
>Next morning
>Hey how you doing
>turn around confused
>Doggo is in my fucking yard again

>>692557239
Probably he was already about to die when he asked you for help, even if you called for emergency he most probably would have died anyway.
Don't think too much about it, it's not like you killed him.

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>>692559718

>>692560572
Its OUR time.. down here

i master b8ed to my sisters porn pics that her ex sent me

>>692557782
Ill acknowledge your reference, mate. Good one

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>>692560422

I was at a co-workers house party and fucked his girl upstairs without him or her knowing

>>692560422
Were you inspired by that black dog story?

>>692558153
Go cry about it pussy

>>692560770
Wut

>>692560781
The fuck is that? Sounds interesting
I was about 8 ahah I guess our main inspiration was the bible, ironically.
We recreated the crucifiction

>>692560422
Id gladly rip your jaw out and shit down your bleeding throat til you suffocated only to magically revive you and rape you with coarse sandpaper on a power drill you fucking gimp

>>692556327
ITT: normies

>>692556327
>We recreated the crucifiction
Dont think that was how it happened

>>692561054
Ahaha chill out mane. I'm not a monster anymore. I'll be the first to admit it was a mistake made when I was about 8. Nothing I can do about it now

>>692561240
Who can ever know forsure right?

Unloaded a can of sunscreen into my cats ass when I was 8

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True story: When I was about 12 or 13 I caught a lizard in my backyard.

I brought it inside and grabbed one of my mom's syringes/needles and began to masturbate furiously.

I came inside of the syringe tube, took the lizard, and injected it's stomach with my semen.

I put this lizard in a ziplock bag and stashed him under my bed where he remained for several years.

Was living in a bad home when I was a kid. Shot a mouse to death after pinning it behind my bearded dragons cage. I was scared. I didn't want my family to punish me.

>>692556327
I beat up my brother when he told me he was trans.

>>692561252
Fair then, but fuck 8 year old you lol

>>692561047
I know what you're thinking, it isn't a sexual story at all. Basically the story is about a guy who sees this annoying doh scratch on his door and do things so he kills it but he finds dog hairs everywhere and later on he dissapears and before his death he still hears the scratching of the black dog.

messed around with my sister multiple times

>>692561431
Wonderful. Any pics?

>>692557239
I have no qualms with your decision.

>>692561527
How old was that flambouyant fucking faggot

>>692561694
Greentext it pls

>>692556327
i take money from us govt to keep quiet about some things theyve done that would alter current national and global politics if revealed. basically solidify trump victory and possible martial law by obama

>>692560753
Post em

>>692561723

Sadly no.. Wish I had thought of it at the time.

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I'm a successful guy (both academically and professionally). I'm 35 with a good job, a smoking hot wife, and a wonderful son.

I'm also a severe drug and alcohol addict and nobody knows. I've kept it to myself for more than 10 years.

>>692561431
That sounds fun. I have a ton of syringes lying around…

>>692557680
story?

>>692561863

You should do something similar and post it here. I'm sure everyone would enjoy it.

>>692561770
19

>>692561612
Sounds pretty sexual to me

Had sex with my cousin's friend's mother, right next to the room everybody was hanging out in.
Lot of jack daniels involved.

>>692556327
>I'm also a severe drug and alcohol addict and nobody knows. I've kept it to myself for more than 10 years.
never heard that one before

I'm a combat veteran and I completely fabricated all of my disability claims with the VA.

I collect close to $40,000 a year (tax free) in disability claims from the military. I don't have to work and I pay my rent and smoke a lot of weed with the money. I enjoy this life.

I don't feel bad about it at all.

>>692562050
I'd probably do it with some gypsy moth larvae, no real big animals around.

>>692557465
How did that happen

>>692562346

That sounds kinda neat

>>692558532
Tits or gtfo

>>692557465
Like, hopscotch?

>>692562341
Here's a guy that knew how to make it. Take notes kids

>>692562341
tbfh id rather pay tax for that than a couple of inbred jocks in combat gear killing kids in fallujah so thanks fam money well (or at least better) spent

>>692561555
Fucking pedophile

>>692562341
you shouldnt with how the govt handles money. if you knew the kinda money they shell out to cover up problems you'd wish you went for triple that

>>692561694
>>692561783

>dont really have any stories
>we'd just get naked together a lot, watch each other masturbate
>eventually led to sex

she has a great ass

>>692562341

bad ass

>>692562705
Add me on KEK

I once had to sleep on a couch with two of my girl cousins. I pretended to be sleep, fondled and dry fucked my cousin pretty much. She liked it

>>692562790
Ill have it, cheers

Had an affair with a married woman. Husband found out.

I'm against cheating, personally, too, which makes me regret this even more.

My first time looking at a /b/ thread, I think I need to watch some Minecraft videos to clear my mind.

>>692557239
Was he a nigger?

>>692563170
Fucking keked hard

>>692563170

See you soon, friend!

>>692563170
Faggot gtfo

>>692563170
Enjoy a gore thread first
This place os laod back in comparrison to the past

I abused my cousin multiple times during eight years

>>692563217
Just because he was looking like shit and laying on the street doesnt mean he was a nigger. Ironically, he was. He would take his last breath, sip his 40oz abd repeat

>>692556327
I'd been best friends with a girl since we were kids. She fucked me over big time. Big-time. So I created a sort of shitlist-hitlist of girls she hated..and over the coming months, I systematically burrowed my way into their lives, getting to know them. I'd tell the best friend about them, how things were going...make it seem like a serious relationship. We'd talk on the phone and I could tell she would be irritated, pissy...but not enough to say shit to me. I would then proceed to have sex with the girl of the time, tell my best friend that things went south, make her feel bad for me...then move on to the next one. Girls included but are not limited to; the girl who ruined a two year relationship, her cousin, etc.

>>692563448
Story faggot
Also, was HE a nigger?

>>692563448
wow really? i used to beat your cousin too who knew man

>>692563619
Alex is a stupid nigger

>>692556327
Fucked a married guy

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>>692556327
I leaked the Krabby Patty secret formula

>>692563700
He was asking for it
He's still sad about not getting abused anymore

>>692558390
Under rated kek

>>692563852
ooh that's some hardcore shit right there

Raped my mini pinscher..

>>692556993
Good ass?

Send a dick pic to my land whale teacher

I turned my friend into the FBI when I found out he was extorting 11 year olds for porn over the internet. I know it's the morally right thing to do, but to me it just feels really wrong. I knew this guy for 8 years. He's currently serving 5 years in prison. His sentence began in february.

>>692564069
Is that an insect? I don't think you can fit your penis inside ons plus they would probably break open.

>>692556470
/thread

>>692564194
Just 5? Thats not so bad, well done

>>692564289
It's a little dog, I never fit my entire dick in him.

>>692564289
>implying he has a normal penis

>>692564194
That's a hard call. You're right to feel bad about betraying a friend but you definitely did the right thing.

>>692564019
It's the truth, not some false, edgy shit you'd make up faggot

>>692564396
Try to then.

>>692563505
Wow, congratulations on following your genetic programming. You're eliminating any potential competitors for sperm and making up rationales for it too. I really hope you get what's coming to you, bitch.

>>692564525
He's dead now.. I killed him when he bit me.

>>692564194
bet you got the pics first didnt you

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Oh, nothing much. I just blew up a couple of planets, killing billions.

>>692560336
Same here, but there's nothing wrong with that. Women are more open to experimenting with that than you might think. Have hope, anon

>>692556327
I have twin daughters who are being raised by their mother and her husband who was in Iraq when it happened. The girls don't know any better, and neither does the husband, because he came home the day after conception. He has the same hair color, the same eye color, and is completely convinced he experienced the 2% of the time that the condom does not work.

>>692564631
Still have the body?

>>692556327
Fucked my sister once and only once.

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>>692559718

>>692564687
>Could have been Broly
>Could have been Majin Buu
>Picks the gayest

>>692564659
never saw them. I did get a screenshot of some text messages he sent one of the girls though. That's what I used as evidence in my tip. I knew this girl personaly, she was my neice. He told her she'd go to prison if she told anyone what she'd sent him, and that he wanted to fuck her when she turned 18. I deleted the pictures off of my phone about a month ago, they just bring up bad memories.

>>692564861
who the fuck are those animefag? maybe he is gay

>>692564780
Yea I fuck him every other day but still too scared to fit my whole dick in it

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>>692564861
You're just jealous.

>>692557782
I'm glad I read through this thread first. I was about to samepost this.

>>692564780
I wish, buried him with my parents, had a bigger dog, american pit bull. told my parents the bigger dog had killed him. I was 14 then.

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>>692557504
>I actually put it in my mouth

Had sex with my niece. Wore condom, took off to cum all over her belly and tits. Door opens, she freaks and sits up. Not sure if cum ran down to her vagoo or not....

(ps is it still incest if we don't share one single chromosome?)

>>692564955
good job anon

>>692565059
Well that makes sense, try and shoot an animal such as a fox.

>>692564965
What the fuck? How do you not know the cast of rugrats

Some dude road raged and i hit him in the face, he falls to the ground and car goes over him. Rest in (3) pieces mister roadrage.

>>692556327
My brother fingered me once, and for a few seconds, I let him do it...regret it

>>692565301
Hey sis, i was just about to tell that story but you came before me once again.

>>692565242
woooow man! that totes happened!

>>692565023
Gets a recolor and is suddenly stronger and makes gayer jokes

>>692556327
I fucked a guy in the afternoon and went and met up with a different guy a few hours later. He ate my pussy; i didn't shower from the first fuck. My whore phase was bad..

Was getting snowboard lessons at a ski resort. Took off the snowboard, accidentally let it slide down a hill. Some kid at the bottom slipped on it and fell flat on his back, didn't get up. I nope'd out

>>692565406
Ah shit.

>>692565406
Fucking keked