I spilled my heart out in the last feels thread about how lonely I am and how hard it is for me to talk about myself. When I tried to post the thread had 404'd, and I'm on mobile so my text didnt save.
How are you anons doing tonight? I'm not doing so good.
I might as well share what I have. I've been depressed since I was preteen, mostly because I was "that guy" that no one wanted to hang out with because I was weird. Little did they know that it hurt me a lot inside because I never really had a friend I could count on, as all of the ones I have had turned against me. In junior year in high school (was still severely depressed), I fell in love with this one girl for literally no reason at all. I loved everything she did, and I would have asked her to go see a movie or something if I wasn't such a fucking coward. For a year I silently watched her from afar until some asshole came out of nowhere and started dating her. I'm still pissed about it, but then I remind myself that it was entirely my fault. I'm a freshman in college now, still no girlfriend, still no friends, and now I'm even contemplating suicide as I don't want to live the rest of my life like this
>be me >been dating this girl for over a year now >she's the most perfect thing ever >her parents are abusive rednecks >mother constantly makes her feel worthless and treats younger brother like a god >father is incest loving hick >She's been dealing with this for her whole life >her parents used to hit her as a baby, true story >She's suffering because of it and is falling into a depression >"I don't know how much longer I can take this, Anon." >I remind her that she'll be able to move out soon >I treat her with all the love and affection she deserves and then some >father hates me >"Talk to her again and I'll kill you" >ohfuck.jpg >we still see each other in secret >she's getting worse and is starting to do self destructive things >"please don't do this to yourself" >parents find out >abuse increased by x10 >she's on the edge of giving in >I'm on the edge of murdering her parents >dadhitsdaughter.gif >calls cops >cops do nothing because they see that shit as normal >father realizes I called cops >Im screwed >Don't know what to do anymore >can't break up with her, love her too much
>>686708709 Okay, since you mention "move out soon", you are clearly underage or a retard. If you aren't underage, tell her to run the fuck away, and file a restraining order on her abusive parents, fine her somewhere else to stay, ideally with you. If you are underage, MODS.
>>686708226 get help /b/ro the world out there isn't so bad even though it can seem it a lot of the time go see a doctor and get a referral to a psychologist or something, they might be able to give you strategies on how to better deal with things - both the sadness and social difficulties
>>686709131 I'm eighteen and she's seventeen. About to graduate. Believe me, we're trying to haul ass as soon as we can but her parents know she wants to leave and also know it's probably going to be with me. Therefore, they'll do anything to keep her from leaving. For example, all her paychecks go to her mother's account. So if she leaves, it'll be with whatever money I have, which isn't much.
>>686710048 >the other type there are lots of different ones you can try how long have you been on it? in some people it can cause worsened mood and increased suicidality but it does pass once the therapeutic dose is reached. this can take up to 6-8 weeks but, it does sound like you'd benefit from psychotherapy. medications are great for those who need it, and maybe it was appropriately prescribed for you (i don't know, i'm not your doctor). but you should definitely be seeing a psychologist as well. it sounds like a lot of your problems are situational and to do with things like low self esteem etc
>>686709875 >all her paychecks go to her mother's account What? Did her parents not allow her a bank account? If how does she use her money for anything she would buy? Does she have to ask her mother for cash?
>>686704647 My family abandoned me at an early age, by abandoned I mean they gave up on me. I remember one day when I was 10 my father picked me up from school and I was happy because I had perfect grades, I told him and he responded by telling me I was a disgrace and that there was no hope left in me. That destroyed my ties with him but it only got worse from there. My mother is easily convinced and so her sisters who hated me made her hate me too. At that point there was literally no one who liked me. I ran away on several occasions but would go back to my house when I was on the brink of starvation. I'm now pretty successful but I honestly couldn't care less if I was the richest person ever. I have no family because I lost everyone at 15 years of age
>>686709875 Leaving flat broke is better than staying in that shit. Grow the fuck up man. Teenagers these days think they have to rely far too much on their parents for everything. Bitch is getting her ass beat probably fucked if what you said about her dad is true. Tell her pack a bag meet her out front in an hour and hop a train somewhere to start over.
>I rolled around in bed. >Slept pretty well that night. >I open my eyes and the first thing I see are these green eyes that are happy to see me. >I focus in and see her face. >She smiles at me and says, "Good morning, sleepy head." >She laughs at me and I break out in smile. >Haven't felt a smile that real in my whole life and I felt a warm feeling in my chest. >I am truly happy for the first time in my life. >She quickly rolls over and I see her back. >Her hair was a nice blonde colour and very straight. >I quickly grabbed her by the waist and held her close to me. >She continued laughing and asked me, "Why are you doing that?" >And....I didn't say anything. >I was really lost in the moment seeing her squirm around, hearing her laugh, and seeing her face again. >Finally, I was able to say something, "I don't know". >She stared back at me, still smiling. >She got up on the bed and started running around it. >Didn't know we had such a large bed, but found out then and there. >I asked her what she is doing and she said, "Come on!" >I got up and started playing with her on the bed. >We started jumping on the bed and me grabbing her while she's laughing away. >I can still see her face, her dancing green eyes, her beautiful blonde hair, her laugh, and her smile. >Next thing I know, I'm looking at the ceiling in my studio. >I can hear my fan spinning along. >A tide of sadness rolled in when the realization settled in that it was all a dream. >That girl's face burnt into my memory. >I have never seen her before in my life. I didn't know any blonde with green eyes girl. >I have never felt so alone in my life.
>>686711896 Dude I honestly don't know. My dad had problems with himself. He was never happy and basically hated everything but himself. The rest of my family hated me for reasons I don't understand even now as an adult
>be me >beginning of 11th grade and 17 years old >school is literally the worst school >leave school and all my friends to get a better education
>didn't realise how alone I'd become
>be me >a year later >beginning of 12th grade and 18 years old >get gf >she adores me >she's incredibly hot >she loves me and tells me everyday >tell her i love her, but just don't feel it >afraid I might hurt her because of how empty I am inside >bream up with her to save her from me >hurt her anyways because she loved me more than I knew
>didn't realize how much I loved her back until she was gone
>be me >today >almost 8 months since I dumped my gf >home alone with nothing to do >all of my friends from my old school are going to prom without me >had chance to ask a girl from that school >didn't have the desire or the guts >missing my ex gf everyday >depressed all of the time >always feel alone >always am alone
>>686708226 Let me tell you something man. I was in the exact same position you was just a few years ago. I had no friends, had never had anyone to be excited to see me before. It got so bad one night I was sitting in my outbuilding with a shotgun loaded pressed against my chin trying to determine the best angle so that I wouldn't feel it.
While sitting there it finally hit me all at once that I was at the end of my rope. I had nothing else to lose. And for some reason I thought about how hard a rat will fight if it is cornered because at that point it has nothing to lose.
I decided I would give it a week and do what ever I wanted during that week. To hell with the consequences. If I looked like an idiot it didn't matter I always had that shotgun waiting for me. You would not believe how much you are holding yourself back. The only way your life will ever get any better is if you decide you are going to make it better. antidepressants only treat the symptoms they do nothing to solve the problem. The best way to make friends is to just be happy and do something you love doing. You will eventually gravitates towards people with similar interests.
I was unhappy and had no friends or gf until I left the States. Spent half a year in Europe and made so many friends who actually cared about me. Got a gf who loved me for the historyfag i am (she was one too). Never felt at home till I actually left home.
I'm not saying go to Europe.
What I am saying is, moving on is important. You gotta find where people care about you as much as you care about them. Don't be afraid to abandon shitty people and find good people
>>686713716 Yeah, kind of figured. Just trying to see if there are any records of the abuse that she can use if necessary. There are shelters for runaways, Safe Place is a good org, I was at one of their shelters for a little while. If you can get her there, it at least gets her to a group of people with experience who aren't connected to her shitstain parents.
Reading these threads makes me realize how fucking lucky I am to have my best friend holy shit. I tell her I love her every day and I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I hope you all meet someone that can mean as much as she does to me. Keep your heads held high anons.
>>686713716 Give her an ultimatum. You will break up with her until she decides she is fed up with the abuse and moves out. The worse types of people in this world are the ones that continue to suffer abuse while complaining to the people that actually care for them. She is doing nothing but bring you down to her level and is making no attempt to bring herself up.
>>686714630 I'm just spilling out how I feel in a feels thread. Isn't that what us /b/tards do? Im having a shitty day because i don't get to go to prom with my closest friends. Of course it's gonna get better, because something worse will always come around. I'm the youngest possible age to be an adult. Of course I'm not fully mature. So fuck off with your criticism and cry about your own problems because that's what this thread is for.
>>686715070 How long until she turns 18? Make sure you both at least know your social security numbers, even better if you can get the cards and your birth certificates. I was able to work, mostly bussing tables or waitressing, for cash, so that's an option for her. It was hard as fuck, but it's possible and immeasurably better than staying in that house.
>>686715685 I feel you, kind of in a similar situation but not nearly as extreme. I am pretty infatuated with one of my close friends, but sadly she's been dating someone else ever since I met her and I'm probably never going to see her again after I graduate in a couple days. But y'know, shit will get better, I'll move on, and who knows, maybe I will see her again. We're still quite young, so yeah, just gotta live for the future. I'm excited to see what I can do and what experiences I'll have.
>>686716834 It's just that I sit there day to day listening about their life but I need somebody to care about mine as well but they hate people that are like me so I put on a fake smile so they don't know my depression.
>be me >gf of 3 years >gf is major hoe but always faithful to me when together >break up constantly >sleeps with guys constantly immediately after breakups >finally things are going okay >we start getting along and possibly better than they have better been >she has history of being a pathological and compulsive liar >She is looking for a roommate >totally trust her because of how well things have been going >tells me when creeps try to contact her >I love how she tells me everything >something doesn't seem right >go through her phone one day >beta.jpg >find conversations of her offering to perform sexual favors in exchange for housing >I offer to let her stay with me >refuses because my house is too far from her two jobs (minimum wage jobs) >refuses to attempt to find work over here >She consciously is choosing to sleep with guys or blow them etc because she is desperate for a place to live >still love her >friends think I'm retarded >definitely am retarded >confront her about it and says it's none of my business and she doesn't need my criticism because she's stressed enough as it is without me asking about it all >snaps at me every time I ask who she's talking to >refuses to tell me her work hours >says she hasn't done anything except send nudes and agree to do things as a last resort (just in case she absolutely has to do them) >feelsbadman.jog >tell her how it makes me feel like complete and utter shit >She doesn't care and says she needs to look out for herself >pour my heart out to her and beg her to just move in with me and we can start over here >says her jobs are more important >She would rather sleep around and send nudes etc to strangers than live with me >tfw future cuck because girl I love is a major bitch >can't help still loving her >haven't eaten right in ages, have no appetite because of the stress and concern that she could be out with someone
Tl;Dr still love gf even though she's basically offering to prostitute herself for a roommate.
Is anyone else stuck in this weird state of apathy? I don't have any offline friends (which doesn't bother me too much) but I pretty much find it impossible to go out and do anything with people. I am socially awkward to a certain extent, but I think the biggest obstacle for me is just not wanting to be social.
I'm kind of resigned to just committing suicide at some point. I don't feel like doing anything really. There's nothing in college that I'm interested in studying and I can't think of any jobs that would actually be fulfilling for me. I just spend every day doing nothing online/playing vidya/necessary chores/etc.
So let's think about things like this. this life will end like all threads on 4chan, when people stop adding to it, when people let die, I'm just saying that if people don't want something to continue they just ignore, neglect it, but that's how I see it.
>>686716083 I'm glad to see you're still optimistic even though things can be tough, anon. Unrequited love, no matter how much you feel for the person, can be emotionally exhausting, depressing, and even frustrating. Keep your head up though. There will always be blocks in the road, but we can always find a way around it.
I'm going to do the same. Please guys, I guess most of you are white, there are plenty of countries out there which have girls who LOVE white guys especially americans, also, in most of these countries you could make a lot more money just by having studied more in america. Moving will help you guys grow up and make friends, maybe even a wife who will deeply love you? Try, don't give up without trying!
>>686718618 You just described my life to the exact details. I have friends I know in person, but I don't see them often and only really speak to them online. I am comfortable going to see them and doing stuff with them, it's just they are always busy and transportation for me isn't in my favor. Other than my close friends though I have a hard time speaking to others or sometimes going out in public where I might not even say a word.
I as well have no real interests or hobbies besides gaming and other online or televised entertainment. No real hopes or dreams and I'm not worried about any of it. I feel like I am more worried that I'm not worried tbh. But even that is whatever.
I wouldn't try suicide anymore, but if I was in a situation where death was coming, I wouldn't stop it. Long story short, I figured I should have sex before an hero attempt #5 and so I based my entire life around getting into a party school, fucking as much as possible, and then either find a new purpose for life or just rob a bank and make the world my oyster. I read on a random site several years ago, probs in fourth or fifth grade, that 'you don't realize it at the time, but most of your friends are only your friends because you see them 5 days a week'. I was like word true shit, and then instead of living life and finding that out after graduation, I expected it so everybody I got to know I just thought would be a transient friend who wouldn't actually last. Even if I had school, work, sports, and church together with someone, if we didn't break the schedule to hang out we weren't truly friends.Of course, not ever (feeling) like I had any friends was partially my fault, as I never invited anyone over myself. Around freshman year in Tech school, where I accidently ended up, I finally started a deep retrospection and found why I am the way I am, how I can change it all and that. I still feel like I've wasted the better section of my life, and I'll never get to experience the innocent falling in love shit of high school. I try to move on. College didn't work out, so I felt like I failed my one purpose for life, and instead of suicide I figured I'd join the military to pass the time. I didn't have any purpose or motivation, might as well give my life to something that might force me to get both. So now I'm in the Navy's delayed entry program, and yet I still feel like nothing is going on in my life.
>>686718394 The easy solution would be to break up with her, but I'm sure it's not that easy. I haven't ever really been in your shoes so I don't have much advice to give, only that there is probably someone else out there that can love you better than she and you will love them more than her and you should leave her. If you are worried about being alone, ask yourself if being with her is any better and if you really even need to be in a relationship. If you feel lonely, hang with your friends or family. Get friends with benefits to fulfill your sexual needs or just jerk off. Lastly, think of all the pros of breaking up with her. No more stress, no more lying, she doesn't live with you so there is no one who is moving out, etc. It's hard to think of emotional situations logically, but I think it may be your best shot man. Good luck anon.
Yeah I'm also not really concerned with getting "better" or finding my passion really. I'm just drifting through each day doing the bare minimum which is basically just dull but doesn't require much effort.
>>686720681 Same anon. >>686718618 >>686719531 Yea I feel that. I've been working full time at a fast food place to get by, but now that I'm not in school it really is hard to get more friends. After living for ~8 years honestly believing I didn't have any solid friends, I just became comfortable with it. Even after breaking the schedule and doing things with people I still felt detatched. Becoming social again was more effort than just 'going out and getting it' at first. Are you guys around other people at all? Or like totally drifting?
For some reason. I feel okay acknowledging the fact that I will die alone, poor, and as a failure. I don't know why, but my reason for is because I see life as a runescape account where one day the player stops and the account is no longer active.
Feels nice to know this for some reason. The best feeling I've felt for a long time.
Thanks for the kind words /b/ro. But you got it right, it's not that easy. 3 years of loving the same person. It's all familiarity. I just hold on to this hope that maybe it won't come to her having to sleep with anyone and maybe it'll all work out. But she'd never told me if she did or not. She'd lie through her teeth.. I've managed to convince myself that she's the best I can do. Maybe I should break up with her but a part of me just can't bring myself to do it. A part of me wants this to be her last chance. I'll keep your advice in mind anon. Thank you. But I might be too weak to go through it it.
I don't have any social skills whatsoever other than being able to make normies laugh. Only one person out of the 10-15 people I've ever been romantically interested in has ever liked me back, and he ended up using me for money and a place to stay while simultaneously cucking me. I only have one friend and she is way fucking hotter and more socially adept than me. I love her to death but spending time with her makes me feel like even less of a worthy human being. If anyone else is lonely and wants to talk, my kik is firewalkwithmeme. If things don't turn up for me soon I'll probably just an hero or accept the fact that even though I'm not a landwhale or a full blown autist or anything, I'm never gonna be accepted into normal society. Best of luck to the rest of y'all.
>>686718618 I'm kinda in the same boat. I enjoy hanging out with the few friends I have but I am extremely unenthusiastic, I fake being excited for stuff people tell me about or whatever 99% of the time, I can't remember the last thing I've been genuinely enthusiastic about. I hate socializing with new people and sometime old friends because I really have to force emotions out of myself and it's extremely exhausting
>>686722351 You're a coward She's a whore She's not attracted to you You're her safety net as something to fall back on if she can't handle her own life or she doesn't have another dick to ride You're her way of surviving since she apparently can't support herself for shit with her two minimum wage jobs She's going to suck you dry and leave you a withered shell of a man Anybody in the world would deserve better than her and I'm sure you could do better anon Dump that bitch After a few months when you realize how much better your life is you won't regret it In fact you'll regret how much time, stress, and money you wasted on such a whore The only thing you can do at this point to prove you're a man is to dump her, and tell her how much of a whore she is And as a bonus post her nudes
P.S. If you think you can't do better bc if your body, hit the gym. Plus, if your personality is a pussy bc you have no confidence, hitting the gym will up that confidence.
Can someone answer this for me. If so, I will forever be your friend. I am a 18 year Hispanic boy. I am only 5'7, but my looks can range around 6-10 in some regards. My social skills are great, I enchant a lot of people if I speak to them. I am the one to start a conversation and usually end it. However, I do not have any friends. Whenever I try to make friends with people they often look away and try not to speak to me. I often ask, am I doing something wrong, ah yes that's it. I changed my personality, maybe I was way too harsh or too nice for some people. So now, I'm medium, not so harsh but still a decent person to speak towards. No friends or anyone who tries to speak to me. Huh, that's funny? What am I doing wrong? I really don't have an answer, is it the way I look? If so, I can't change that. Is it the way I smell? I smell like normal, I don't think my smell is horrid. So /b/, anon, anonette, what is wrong with me? I try my hardest to change for others and nobody wants to accept me. Am I doing wrong somehow? What am I? What is the thing that I can't fix.
>>686704647 >"you ever wonder how deep you could sink into nothing at all" I feel so guilty for feeling bad because I have no reason to. I'm well off, I'm married, I should feel like everything is right... But I hate myself. I look in the mirror and I see nothing good, I want to help everyone but I've never had the good sense to help myself. I let my friends unload their problems and emotions on me, but I would be so mortified to let them in and let them see what I feel... It would take so much emotion and pent up pain, I don't think I could ever put into something as small as words. I always wish that I could project what I feel on somebody else just so they could understand.
>be me >live in a house falling apart for past 18 years with my mother >be five minutes ago >on computer, doing a bit of research >here loud sound >go into kitchen to see what happened >pic related happened >that's my ceiling >tfw you don't have money to fix this
I'm losing the motivation to follow the passion I've had since I was 10 years old, I built my whole identity around my passion and now that I'm losing motivation I've lost myself and the motivation to do anything else and now the only thing I really look forward to consistently is sleeping
Well when I said 6-10. It really depends on who you ask. Women are really stupid and are unique. Some women say I'm a 6, others say 8, it's quite rare nowadays but others say 10. I would like to keep myself anonymous. Why would I type all of this and lie to myself? I am only here to solve my problem. And yes, to those 10 even they don't speak to me, not even the ones who say I'm a 8.
Well if that was the case, I wouldn't be on /b/, rather on this thread asking for help. In fact, if I was here the stereotypical big ego would be bragging about how many girls I fuck and how my cock is like twelve inchs long. So, tell me, how is it my ego if I am seeking for help? Note, this is not me stating how I look but rather what I heard from girls and even some guys.
>Play games online >Find community full of awesome people >Grill in community with this voice that just sticks out >Everything she says is filled with confidence like she knows exactly what she's saying, what she means, and that she doesn't care what you think about it >Everything she's into I'm into >Start talking to her more and more >We have basically everything in common. 99.999% compatible. >Go months like this >Get closer and closer to her >Apparently everyone in the community could tell I had a thing for her >Tell her I have a thing for her >She has a thing for me >We're both happy but agree not to become official or anything because we literally live across the country from one another >We talk a lot. >One night I say something she doesn't like and goes off a bit >Small argument but everything's okay, we love each other >Next night seemed to have the same thing happen. Wtf. >Happens again another time >Suddenly feel like I'm always saying the wrong thing >Start feeling like everything about me annoys her >We get distant >She says she needs air. Give her all the air on earth. Anything for her.
I don't even know what we are now. I'm afraid to try and talk to her about it, but I want to know. I've always been so sad with just small, quick periods of in-the-moment happiness. Having her kept me constantly happy to the point where I would late at night thinking about how happy she makes me. I always got to fuck everything up.
I needed to hear that. Thanks anon. I am a coward, but it's been 3 years. It's hard to imagine being single again. I think she feels like she can do whatever she wants and I'll just be a beta faggot and forgive her for anything, like I'm being taken advantage of... A lot of you faggots might already have her nudes, she sent them to fucking everybody. She fucks up again and they're going out for sure. For now, I want to see how things go. I know you're trying to help me, and it really does help.
>>686725623 M8 if she's already done this shit over and over she's not gonna stop It's not like she made a mistake one time and begged for forgiveness Being single sucks cock but being with someone who hurts you consistently is much more autistic
>>686718394 She clearly doesn't care for you and she obviously doesn't love you either. If she did she wouldn't have done any of these things. Get rid of her. Move on and find someone who actually loves you.
>>686704701 Have you ever stormed the beaches of Normandy?
>>686704773 Bleeding out in the midst of battle completely alone and staring at the sky thinking how you never got to properly say goodbye to your future wife who is expecting, is a considerably worse feeling.
>>686704836 No, it means growing up and growing thicker skin.
>>686704843 Well you shouldn't because sleep deprivation and having an irregular sleep pattern is bad for your health in a lot of aspects.
>>686705363 Especially not when you mop around the internet never utilizing the biggest source of knowledge laid before you - FOR FREE.
>>686706607 Take it as a sign that you should stop looking for excuses to feel sad and betrayed and misunderstood, and take initiative.
>talk to girl for 8 months >we both like each other >always flirted around even though we never brought the idea of going out >shes the girl i never get tired of talking too >fall in love >always knew she smoked weed and did xanax which was fine to me >everything is fine until i learn what the xanax does to her >she tells me she does bad stuff on them and doesnt give a shit about anything and never remembers what she did >tell her that's bad and she needs to stop doing it >she says shes addicted and is trying to stop >she still uses them and i tell her if she doesnt stop ill stop talking to her >she says wtf and is trying to stop and doesnt talk to me at all and blocks me in everyway on social media >2 months go by and i fucking miss her all the other girls are fucking boring and the only way i can get a convo going is by sex and shit >message and tell her i miss and im sorry >she doesnt reply >20 days later i text her saying you dont think about me at all dont you >she replys >No >mfw
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